Chapter Text
The world was so dark. Almost suffocatingly so. In the past Stephen would have stared up into the endless blurring black of the void and felt nothing but pure, dull, fear. But here, now, with his lover by his side, the dark seemed warmer. Like all the cold brushstrokes had given way to the glimmers of red sands and stardust. The dark wasn’t suffocating. It wasn’t scary. It was a palette of paint and a fresh canvas for his imagination to paint upon, a blank slate upon which he could create entire worlds. The black had once looked so, so unfamiliar. Now it was simply a soft voice whispering in the wind. Stephen used to believe that fear would come when he let his mind wander. But really, it only happened when he dared toe that single red line in his mind, the line separating his past from the present. It hadn’t been his mind that scared him, but his life. And now, now that everything was better, it was his memories.
Stephen blinked, refreshing the swirling cloud of ink above him. He was so warm, bundled in blankets and pressed close to his love, so close they were almost one, their heartbeats tied in tandem. They had grown so close, hadn’t they? Inseparably so. But this time there was no parasite. There were no ulterior motives within each longing gaze, no manipulation in their lingering touches. But even so… Stephen clenched his jaw. If anything he was manipulating Tony. All the things he had done, the people he had hurt- it was all so so horrible. So cruel and twisted and far beyond words and saving and anything close to love. He had suffered. He had caused others to suffer. Like it or not he was guilty. And Tony- this kind wonderful Tony- deserved to know that.
But what would Tony think? There was another Stephen. One who truly belonged to this world. One who could have just as easily wooed Tony Stark. And with all the things Stephen had done… He had sworn an oath to do no harm. His Hippocratic oath. That truly hadn’t stopped him, had it? He was broken. His past was pockmarked with bullet holes and land mines. His future was fragile from corrosion and acid and his support beams shattered by emotions. He had picked up a cracked and crumbling dream and patched it together with Scotch tape. It wouldn’t hold. Not with secrets this big. But this was the first time in a long time that he had been happy. That he had allowed himself to be happy. But that happiness would drown in the tar of his secrets, wouldn’t it? It would sink down until it was just as sticky and slimy and corrupt as his past. Tony deserved to know, even if it shattered his dreams.
In bed beside him, Tony shifted, yawning and rolling over to face Stephen. His eyes cracked open and he blinked blearily. Stephen’s heart beat so hard against his chest that he feared it would break.
“Stephen, babe, what are you still doing up?” Tony yawned.
He looked so innocent- the faint ebb and flow of unconsciousness like a halo painted through the bleary dark- Stephen couldn’t stand it. He had to tell him.
“Tony, I-” His lungs froze over. It was okay. He had to do this. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. “I have something I need to tell you. Something about my past.”
Tony sighed and pulled him close.
“That’s okay. Tell me everything.”
Stephen closed his eyes. He couldn’t stand to watch as he tore his own life apart, piece by piece.
“I- I’m not your Stephen.”
Silence.
“I’m from another dimension. I-I- Things went wrong. The world burned. I… I couldn’t stay. So I came here. And I switched place with the Stephen you know.” There was more silence. “I- I’m sorry, Tony I swear! I was so scared and alone and all I could feel was death sticking to my skin like pine sap and I just wanted to feel okay again-”
“Hey, hey hey.” A warm hand wrapped around his own and Stephen let his eyes drift open. Tony had sat up, framed by the hazy glow of the city skyline, staring intently at Stephen. “It’s okay. Tell me everything.”
Stephen flinched. He tried to pull his hand away but Tony held it fast.
“Tony I’ve done such terrible things-”
“Tell me everything .”
Stephen gave in. They spoke until the sun colored the sky a faint purple, until the air began to warm and the city rose from its slumber and began its drowsy day. When his final confession left his lips their room washed bright with gold and there was nothing but silence in the air. Stephen sniffled, trying and failing to quell his tears. Numbly, he noticed that he was shaking. How pathetic.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything,” Stephen muttered. His words seemed deafening in such thick uncut silence. “I know I need to leave. I know I’ve done nothing to deserve your trust and your care and your lo-”
“Stephen.”
Two warm hands folded his own scarred match and Stephen flinched.
“Tony…”
“I’m… wow this sounds weird… but I’m proud of you. For telling me this.” Tony paused, seemingly unable to meet Stephens eyes. Stephen couldn’t blame him. He was a monster. He closed his eyes, his vision spinning neon with shame. “Stephen… You know I’m not upset, right?”
Stephen yanked his hands away.
“How can you not be?!” he snapped. His throat felt raw with pain. “I’m disgusting. I’m the very thing you swore to protect this world from.” His voice cracked. “A villain.”
Tony sighed, carding a hand through his hair.
“Stephen. Things aren’t black and white. Nothing is. Especially people. And from what it sounds like… you weren’t the one who craved pain and destruction. You were coerced into it. While I’m not this is an excuse for all the things you did, I’m saying it wasn’t entirely your choice. You were abused.”
Stephen flinched at the word.
“Come on Tony. You know that’s not it.”
“Well then, what would you call it?”
“I fell in love with the wrong person.”
“You didn’t fall in love, Stephen. You were lured into a trap set by a spider.” This time Tony’s sigh was sharp, like the edge of a serrated knife. “God I wish I could have helped you.”
Something deep in Stephen’s chest ached at the thought. Looking back on his relationship with… him he could see that it wasn’t healthy. That it was anything but that. But that didn’t make it any less clear. Looking back on the past was like looking at photos shot through a blurry lense. Images he had thought were cloudy with nostalgia were really jumbled and unfocused. And he didn’t really know where to start putting the pieces back together.
“I…” he despised the way his voice trembled.
“Stephen. It’s okay. You don’t have to figure everything else now. Trying to figure out things like this takes time. And support. We’ll get you a therapist, yeah? And I promise I’ll be by your side every step of the way.”
Stephen finally brought his head up, eyes blurry with unshed tears. Their eyes met and Stephen found himself drowning in those beautiful eyes- this time not in their anger and lust and desire but in their kindness and comfort.
“How can you say that after everything I’ve told you?”
“Because I know that you want to fix things, Stephen. And I want to help you do so. Destiny and fate gave you another chance-”
Stephen’s harsh laugh cut off any and all words Tony had been about to say.
“No. That’s bullshit. I held fate at fucking gunpoint and demanded a redo.”
“No, Stephen. You were in pain. That- That monster tormented you. He tore you apart at the seams and pulled out your stuffing and filled you with blood and gore and pain then stitched you right back up.” Tony’s voice was sharp and dripping with disdain. “I wish he was dead.”
“He is.”
“I-”
“He died with the others.” Even after everything he had been through, Stephen’s heart still ached at the thought. “We were married, you know. Fifteen years. And I buried him.” Stephen’s voice was hollow and empty. He didn’t know how to feel anymore. He just felt… empty.
“Oh.”
There was a stretch of silence.
“Stephen…”
“Yes?”
“If you’re from an alternate universe… Tommy wasn’t really… Tommy, was he?” Stephen fell silent, unable to meet Tony’s eyes. Tony pressed on. “Who was he Stephen?”
The pained look in Tony’s eyes told Stephen he already knew.
“Who- who was he?”
“He was you.”
Something in Tony’s eyes seemed to crack and shatter. He sat back, eyes staring off into space as the sun rose over the New York City skyline. Stephen’s lungs felt like they were filling with blood. Endless buckets and buckets and buckets of sticky viscous liquid clogging up his airway and coagulating in his esophagus. He choked out a weak sob and hung his head, burying his face in his shaking broken hands. He had held out all night, but as the first rose-gold rays of the sun splashed across the floor of the bedroom Stephen let go. His quiet, shaky sobs seemed to snap Tony out of his daze. The other man rushed to his side, quick to comfort. Faintly, Stephen was reminded of just how dearly he loved him.
“Oh Stephen, I-”
“I’m so so sorry Tony I swear- please!” Stephen’s throat was raw and wet with tears. He buried his face into Tony’s shoulder, his whole body shaking with the force of his sobs. “Please- I don’t want to hurt anymore.”
“Oh Stephen… I promise. You won’t ever need to. I’ll be here,” Tony mumbled, one hand rubbing soothing circles across his back and one carding through his hair. Stephen trembled in his embrace, suddenly as small and weak and fragile as a child. But he still had one card left to give up.
“I love you Tony.”
The words were so, so frustratingly quiet, mumbled weakly into the crook of Tony’s neck. But Stephen had no doubt that Tony had heard him. As soon as the words had been muttered into his embrace, Tony went completely still. He pulled away from Stephen a little and Stephen closed his eyes, accepting his inevitable fate. Then Tony pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead and the world seemed to stop spinning, if only for these fleeting words..
“I love you too, Stephen.”
Nothing was working. Nothing was working! He had tried everything. Every counter-spell, every ward, every ritual he knew. Each one was met with a resounding splash of useless red sparks. The world was going to die, and he with it. Finally he understood exactly why his counterpart had been so giddy and cruel in their brief meeting. There was something so funny about the inevitability of death- about the complete lack of control. He was going to die here, stuck in a world to which he didn’t even belong.
Vaguely he realized he was back in central park, back at the graves. At the eye of the magical hurricane. Then again, it was the only quiet place left in the world anymore. The only place where if he pretended hard enough he could almost imagine was back home in his world. He could sit down on the grass under a tree and read a book, drifting far far away from his inescapable doom. The corruption was getting worse. He could feel it. Every single second tipped the Earth closer and closer to oblivion, the scales broken and lopsided and tipped inevitably towards the icy center of hell.
Stephen shivered. He hugged his knees to his chest, and closed his eyes. This body felt so similar to his own… if he just ignored the pain and the scars and all the years and years of brutal damage he could pretend he hadn’t been forced into the mutilated cage of someone else’s soul. This was it. There was nothing he could do. He was going to die here, wasn’t he? Briefly his mind flitted around, running through all the lives he could have lived- all the things he could have done- if he had just done things differently. But the fleeting, immaterial rays of hope vanished as soon as his mind killed them with the sharp reminder of reality. Daydreams would do nothing but taunt him. He just needed to suck it up and accept his fate. What good would imagining do him anyways? He was dead. He was dead and nothing could ever help him.
He hung his head and buried his face in his arms. Tears, sticky and burning and hot dripped down his cheeks, quiet, silent sobs racking his body as he curls more and more inwards, as if he crumpled himself up small enough all the pain would compress inside him.
He was dead.
A fizzling sound filled the air and Stephen froze. No. It wasn’t. It wasn’t. He couldn’t get his hopes up. All the world would do was crush them again. He was dead. He was dead. He as dead!
“Hey.”
Stephen froze. He didn’t dare look up.
“Hey, Ste- Strange, it’s me. Tony.”
“T-Tony?” His voice trembled.
“C’mon. No time for chit chat. We need to get you out of here. Stephen says this place is dangerous.”
Stephen’s head jerked up at that. The world flashed into focus and his head throbbed. Tony- Tony fucking Stark was standing above him, concern laced and woven into those beautiful brown eyes. And behind him- Stephen jumped to his feet.
“Tony! Stay back! He’s dangerous!”
Behind Tony stood that demon who had stolen his body. That fucking nightmare who was wearing his face and his skin and had stolen his life . Stephen pushed Tony behind him and tried to summon the Ruby Rings of Raggador… only to cough and double over in pain and overexertion.
“Woah… calm down buddy,” Tony muttered, patting his back awkwardly. “He’s okay. He’s with me.”
“No! You don’t understand! That’s- that’s not the Stephen you know! I’m him! He-”
“Stole your body. I know.”
“You… what?” Stephen blinked up at Tony with confusion.
“We don’t have time for this,” snapped the Stephen standing at the portal. “Tony, bring him here.”
Tony hauled Stephen to his feet and led him to the portal. Stephen was lost. How in the Vishanti could Tony know? Was it something with his tech? Or did- did that monster tell him? No. Stephen flashed back to that fight- the first time he had met that creature of pure darkness. It- he- whatever it was was far too cruel and violent and disgusting to ever admit to what he had done. To the world he destroyed.
They reached the portal and Stephen forced himself to his feet, staring down the monster wearing his face and his life with as much hatred as he could muster. He wanted to wring the life out of that demon, to tear him apart piece by piece just as it had torn apart this beautiful innocent world. The monster couldn’t even bear to meet his eyes. Stephen all but scoffed. Pathetic. Monsters could never even acknowledge the consequences of their actions. Then he raised his head and Stephen was slightly taken aback to see that those eyes- his eyes- were filled with nothing short of eternal remorse.
“I- I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry,” he whispered, his voice tight and low and oh so desperate. “I thought- I thought I could fix things, when all I ever did was break them. I’m- I can’t do this anymore.”
Stephen’s doppelganger hung his head, tears dripping from his eyes and down to the grass below. Stephen didn’t know how to react. Surely he couldn’t mean it. This was a ruse. This was a hoax. A ploy for something. But what?
Then his dupe reached out and brought his fingers to Stephen’s forehead and in a flash of blinding light he was back in his own body. His muscles immediately relaxed and he sighed in relief of a pain he hadn’t even been aware of. What the fuck was happening?
“Tony.” His other self’s voice was hoarse and resigned. “Take him back. I’ll stay. It’s only what I deserve.” He laughed weakly. “You make the bed you sleep in, yeah?”
His smile was far too broken-hearted to ever seem convincing.
“What? Stephen you-”
“No.” Stephen started. His own words surprised him. But… well… maybe there was something else to be done. But if his other self stayed here… he would certainly die. Reality was tearing apart at the seams, and anyone who stayed here would fall with it. And as much pain as that cruel man had brought him no one deserved a fate as cruel as that. He had sworn an oath to do no harm, and that, he supposed, extended to himself. He cleared his throat and continued. “This world is ridden with corrupt magic. It’s hardly suitable for survival.”
“No. I destroyed this world. It’s my duty to stay here until its end. Think of it as… comeuppance for all my sins.”
“Stephen…” Tony’s voice sounded like it was seconds away from fracturing into a thousand butterflies. “Stephen I-”
“It’s okay, Tony.” His other self smiled through the tears, reaching out and taking Tony’s hands in his own trembling ones. “You have him now. He’s your Stephen. I’m nothing more than an intruder. When I’m gone, he can take care of you. You’ll be happy, right?”
Tony’s eyes were desperate and filled with tears.
“No! Stephen, how could you ever think that?! You're my Stephen! I fell in love with you ! I love you ! You are not replaceable. Understand? And I’m not fucking letting you go, okay?”
“Tony-”
“Okay?!”
His other self finally found the courage to raise his head and meet Tony’s gaze. The moment was so tender Stephen felt like he was intruding upon something sacred- something so private the sun and the moon and the stars themselves were holding their breath.
“O-Okay.”
“Great. I’m going home. And I’m bringing both of you with me, consequences be damned. We’ll figure out things better later. And retrieve Wong. You said you had to do that too, yeah?”
“Yeah…”
“Great. Now let’s get out of here and never come back.”
Tony and the scarred Stephen stepped through the portal, back to a clean, whole Stark Tower- rid of any manifestations of dark magic. Tony looked back at Stephen.
“You coming?”
“Y-Yeah…”
Stephen stepped through the portal and they closed it behind him, locking all the darkness and corruption behind them. The world was empty now, and now, after all it's suffering, it could finally rest.
He had been planning on staying. He was going to die with the world he destroyed. He had taken a book and torn out the final page of the story and burned it in a desperate ploy to keep the story from finishing. And he had planned on burning with the book. But now- well, all stories had to come to a close eventually. And while it wasn’t the happy ending he had always imagined- he had been forced into imaging- it was fucking perfect. He was… happy.
He looked back over at his other self- the one whose face he had worn for the last half year- and then back at Tony- beautiful kind caring compassionate Tony- the man who could find gold amidst a coal mine, the man who could find love in the heart of a monster- and his very heart felt like it would burst from joy. He was here. He was here and he was safe and loved and everything would be okay. For the first time in his life, even trapped in a body covered in scars and testaments of the past, all he felt towards the future was hope. Tears gathered in his eyes and he crossed over to Tony, pulling him into his arms and kissing him softly and sweetly, the moment glazed and gilded in gold.
“Thank you,” he whispered, voice softer than the beat of a butterfly’s wing.
“Of course, Stephen,” Tony breathed. He reached up and brushed a tear from its gentle path down the incline of Stephen’s cheek. “I love you.”
Stephen’s heart cracked open and liquid gold seemed to burst from its shell and fill his veins with warmth. He smiled, chest tight with happiness.
“I love you Tony. I love you so so much,” he murmured, every single cell in his body thrumming with the bare honesty of the words.
“I love you too, Stephen. Forever and always.”
“Forever and always.”