Chapter Text
Hogwarts was exactly the same combination of imposing and homey that Tina remembered from their first visit, though this time she was significantly less exhausted and could properly take it all in.
They’d decided to stop here first after leaving Newt’s mother’s place. Newt was itching to confront Dumbledore, and if there was a possibility that they were expected to travel they wanted to know right away.
Jacob had made friends with the house elves on their last visit, apparently, and had decided to go visit the kitchens while they talked to Dumbledore. Tina had noted that he seemed to make himself scarce whenever the topic turned to anything involving Grindelwald, and she thought she understood why. Both of their hearts had been broken by the same woman, after all, though in very different ways, and Grindelwald was responsible for that. Newt and Tina had both nodded, telling him they expected their meeting to last at least an hour, maybe more.
What they weren’t expecting, however, was to walk into Dumbledore’s office and find Theseus standing there instead, clearly waiting for them.
“What are you doing here?” Newt asked in surprise.
Theseus looked tired, Tina noted, but there was still an amused glint in his eye as he looked at them and smirked. “I think you already know the answer to that.”
“So you did know about the erumpent!” Tina exclaimed, somewhat accusatory. “I knew it!”
“It was a complete long shot,” Theseus said, shaking his head, “I can’t believe it actually worked.”
Newt was staring, looking for all the world like he was trying very hard to wrap his brain around this new information. “You...I can’t believe you wanted it to work,” he finally said, still staring in disbelief.
Theseus sighed, expression turning serious. “Sit down, both of you.” He gestured toward a few chairs in front of Dumbledore’s desk, waiting for them to sit before he turned a chair to face them and sat as well.
“The Ministry knows nothing about this, as I’m sure you’ve pieced together,” he started, frowning somewhat uncomfortably. “I don’t like working like this, but I don’t feel as though I’ve got any other choice.” He sighed again, running a hand over his face tiredly. “Dumbledore approached me that morning when we went out to take care of things regarding Leta.” He looked to Newt. “While you were off buying a new bed and Jacob was busy window shopping, he pulled me aside and told me about his friend in Germany, and the plan he had to get you there.”
“Why me?” Newt asked.
“Because Werner Waldmagier is a very old, very stubborn hermit who won’t so much as even talk to anyone associated with the Ministry. Apparently he says he’s seen too much corruption from within governments to trust anyone working for one. And,” Theseus sighed again, “because Dumbledore trusts you, and believes you to be incorruptible, and he believes Waldmagier will see that as well as soon as he meets you.”
Newt blinked, still staring, and Tina couldn’t help the faint smile that pulled her lips.
“Look,” Theseus continued, “I’m fairly certain that you’re aware of how Dumbledore operates, and you certainly can refuse to do this if you don’t want to. You’re under no obligation to anyone. If you say no, Dumbledore can find someone else. But,” he continued, meeting his brother’s eyes and fixing him with a sincere look, “for what it’s worth, I don’t think he’s wrong.”
Newt looked away, uncomfortable, Tina knew, with anything resembling praise just for being decent.
“As for me agreeing to this,” Theseus said as he slumped forward in his chair and rested his elbows on his knees. “I’m not sure how I feel about the way the Ministry is handling things. I wasn’t happy that Travers cut me out when I specifically asked to be called back in if there was any news or sightings of Grindelwald, but even before that I’ve been questioning things. I didn’t listen when Dumbledore said that we shouldn’t get involved in Grindelwald’s rally, and you saw what happened. I don’t always agree with his methods, but I believe that in this situation he’s the best source of advice we have, and we should listen to what he has to offer. But Travers seems to have a personal vendetta against the man, and he’s so obsessed with getting his way and with barrelling in and using force, that I think he’s blind to other options.”
Theseus lifted his head and looked at Newt again. “I also didn’t exactly approve of them hiring Grimmson to track down the obscurial. I had hoped that you’d take the deal offered to you, because I knew you’d go against the plan and wouldn’t kill him.” Theseus frowned, fixing his brother with an almost hurt expression. “Newt, do you really think I wanted you to agree to it just because I wanted you working for me? I was trying to offer you a solution that would work out well for everyone—it was no easy task to negotiate a plan they'd even listen to, and you shut it down immediately because you assumed the worst. Did you honestly think I expected you to kill anyone? Do we really know each other so little that that’s what you think of me?”
Newt frowned and looked at his feet, and Tina’s heart ached for him. For both of them, really. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like to not be close to your only sibling. Up until Queenie had joined Grindelwald, they’d scarcely been apart their entire lives.
“What was I supposed to think?” Newt finally answered. “You’ve always sung the Ministry’s praises; always lectured me about not being so difficult. I thought...well, I suppose I thought you’d found a way to manipulate me into getting your wish. If I was in your department you’d actually be able to tell me what to do, and I’d be expected to follow orders. You’d finally have me on a short leash, able to keep tabs on my every move.”
Theseus looked hard at Newt, who hadn’t raised his head. “I can see how you would’ve thought that.” He paused, considering. “And you may not have been entirely wrong,” he admitted, causing Newt to raise his eyes at the confession. “But I knew you weren’t ever going to be an auror, Newt. I had planned it to be a temporary assignment. Join my department, find Credence and keep him safe, work with me until the threat was over and Grindelwald was captured again, and then you’d have been free to go back to the Beast Division and slack off again, if that’s what you’d wanted.” Theseus looked at him sincerely. “I only wanted you to realize the talents you have, and that you could use them in this fight...maybe even long-term, if you realized how good you could be at this. I read the report from New York, you know. You’re resourceful, and it’s frankly impressive. I thought you’d jump at the chance to get to Credence before Grimmson did, but instead you stubbornly refused to listen and stormed out because...what? You didn’t want me to get my way?” Theseus shook his head. “Was I wrong about sides? You’re a good man, Newt. I don’t understand how you thought you’d be able to remain neutral in all this.”
Tina was surprised at that. She’d known Newt hated conflict—a remnant of his time in the war, she assumed—but he never seemed to her to be opposed to getting involved in a fight for a worthy or noble cause.
Newt snorted. “As though anything is ever that simple. What were my options, then? Become useful to the Ministry—a tool you could order around—or be considered on the same side as Grindelwald? As though there’s nothing in-between? Kill for the good side, not the bad, is that it?” He sneered in disgust and looked away.
“No, that’s not—” Theseus began, but Newt cut him off.
“It is though, isn’t it? Wasn’t that what that meeting was about? Agree to their terms or be punished for daring to act outside of their control? Nobody in that hearing, including you, contradicted me when I guessed what finding Credence entailed.” He sighed. “But that was before I saw firsthand what Grindelwald is capable of, and that he doesn’t just have a small fringe group of followers. He’s a real threat to everyone, I see that now. But I still resent the implication that it’s selfish to choose not to devote my life to the Ministry, or to choose not to follow orders I don’t agree with, as though there’s no other way to fight. I thought you said you’ve realized what you think is best may not be best for me? Or were you too drunk to remember?”
“I remember,” Theseus glared, then threw his hands up and laughed bitterly. “That’s the entire point I’m trying to make right now, Newt! I know now that your talents are best used elsewhere. That’s why I’m here, that’s why I’m going along with a plan where you can help outside of the Ministry. Did you think for one second about the trouble I’d be in if they found out I’m doing this?”
“Okay, enough,” Tina, who had been silently watching the exchange, interjected. Both men turned to look at her. “This isn’t getting either of you anywhere, you’re just rehashing old arguments, and if you’d stop to listen to yourselves you’d see that you’re actually making the same points. You’ve both changed your minds to where you’re at the exact same place, but for some reason you’re fightin’ about it.” Newt and Theseus both glanced at each other, then down at their feet, properly chastised.
“She’s right,” Theseus sighed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring all that up again. But Newt...why did you think I warned you that you were being watched? You’re my brother. I’m not against you. I never have been. I know I’ve been wrong about you, and I’m trying to change that. All I ask is that you give me the same courtesy.”
Newt was still looking at his feet, all the fight having gone out of him.
“Look,” Tina continued, saving Newt from having to say anything, “we’re clearly all on the same side here, with the same goals in mind. So,” she addressed Theseus, “what IS this plan, and why, if Dumbledore’s friend distrusts anyone working for a government agency, did he say I should go too?”
“Ah, Miss Goldstein,” came the voice of Dumbledore himself as he stepped into his office. “A pleasure, as always.” He dropped a book and some papers on his desk, then turned and leaned against it, taking them all in before focusing his eyes on Tina and smiling. “The reason I think you should join Newt is that Newt, for all his sharp wit, quick thinking, and resourcefulness, is no auror.”
Newt made a face like he wasn’t sure whether to be offended or pleased by the remark. Tina looked to him, then back to Dumbledore. “So I’m supposed to be...what? His bodyguard?”
Dumbledore chuckled. “I hope not, since this should be an easy mission. There and back, shouldn’t be dangerous at all.”
“Then why…?”
“Oh, well, just because something shouldn’t be dangerous doesn’t mean it won’t end up that way.”
Now he was just talking in circles. “So I’m there just in case something might happen?”
“Precisely,” Dumbledore nodded. “But also no, that’s not the only reason.”
Tina just stared. She heard Newt sigh and Theseus groan slightly.
“I believe Theseus was explaining the plan, so I’ll let him continue in a moment. I just want to say how good it is to see you both. You’re looking very well,” he winked at them, causing both Tina and Newt to flush, “and it’s good to see you free from those restraints.”
“Thanks to you,” Newt said, mildly accusing. “How DID you know it was possible?”
“Oh,” Dumbledore shrugged, “I have a friend in Africa who travels around and works with magical villages and tribes. Helps identify those with magical abilities in non-magical communities as well. She’s spent quite a bit of time around erumpents, and may have mentioned that in the villages she visits she’s seen magic going a bit haywire sometimes when the herds wander near. Enchantments breaking, spells going wonky, that sort of thing. I thought, maybe…” he grinned. “Well. It was a small glimmer of a thought, and I’m both incredibly surprised and very pleased that it worked.”
Newt stared. “You have a friend in Africa who knows about erumpents, and you didn’t think I might’ve liked to have met her while I was there?”
“Well, you wouldn’t have had the time. You had a thunderbird to rescue and return home.”
“You…” Newt trailed off, looking at Dumbledore with disbelief.
“So why not just tell us directly?” Tina asked bluntly, getting back on topic. “Why all the hinting around?”
Dumbledore gave a pained smile. “I didn’t know what it would take for the magic in the bands to potentially break. Not a lot is known about when and how or what types of magic are potentially affected by erumpents. I only knew that the stories of magic acting strangely were more common when something was upsetting the herd.” He put his hands in his pockets and looked at Newt sincerely. “And I knew that you’d never willingly put one of your creatures in distress.”
Newt looked unhappy, but said nothing. Tina was understanding more and more what Theseus had meant about ‘how Dumbledore operates.’
Dumbledore stood up straight and smiled again, in a way that didn’t reach his eyes. “Well, I think I’ll go see how Mr. Kowalski is getting on with the house elves, and let Theseus finish telling you about the plan.” He nodded to them. “Let me know what you decide.”
Tina watched him walk out the door, wondering if he suspected that declining this mission wasn’t likely to be a choice either of them would make. Tina knew it was a long shot, but she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the possibility that Queenie might be near where they were going. Dumbledore had seemed confident that Grindelwald would be keeping her close for now, but If there was the slightest chance of getting even just a glimpse of her to know she was all right, it would be worth it.
Theseus cleared his throat, then fished around on Dumbledore’s desk for a map, which he tapped with his wand and watched as it unrolled and hovered in between them all.
“Waldmagier’s location is here,” he said, pointing to a spot on the map, “near the towns of Garmisch and Partenkirchen. To access his home, you need to enter a gorge along the Partnach River,” his finger traced over to the river, pointing to the gorge. “It’s a famous gorge with a walkway through it, very popular with tourists.”
“I’m sorry,” Newt interjected, “he’s a known hermit, and his front door is in the middle of a tourist attraction?”
Theseus shrugged. “Hidden in plain sight, I suppose. Anyway, you’ll be given more information from Dumbledore about how exactly to find the door. I don’t want to know all the details so I can claim some deniability if the Ministry somehow finds out about this and grills me for information. But apparently he’s going to be told to expect you, if you agree to this, so you shouldn’t have any trouble with him letting you in.”
He fixed them both with a serious look. “On the surface this should be an easy job. But,” he sighed, “because the Ministry isn’t supposed to know about it, or that I helped you, I won’t be able to provide you any official backup. It’s just the two of you, I’m afraid, and if anything should happen...well, I’d of course get you out of there, consequences be damned.”
He ran a hand through his hair, clearly uneasy about the whole thing. “It would take longer though, to get a team approved and mobilized in any official capacity, so you should treat this as though you are essentially completely on your own. And,” he said, pulling an envelope out of his inside coat pocket, “to that effect, you’ll have to move completely silently, so to speak. You’ll be playing tourist. We’ll arrange accommodation in Innsbruck, Austria—the closest major city—where you’ll stay before and after visiting Waldmagier, because you’ll need to take muggle transportation once there. No use of any magic that might get you noticed. All the major magical governments likely have eyes in that area now as well, so you should behave as though you assume you're being watched at every moment from either side. It sounds extreme, I know, but if this is a known hot spot for Grindelwald’s people, you’ll want to do everything possible to blend in as muggles and avoid anyone paying you the slightest bit of attention. You’ll also be, um...undercover.”
He opened the envelope, pulling out two passports—both British—and handed one to each of them. Tina flipped hers open.
“Elizabeth Smith,” she read the alias out loud. “Why am I British?”
“Thomas Smith,” Newt said, reading his. “Are..we supposed to be related?”
Theseus smirked, and dumped the rest of the envelope’s contents out onto his hand, showing them.
Two plain gold rings, and a third ring with a simple diamond setting.
Newt and Tina stared at the rings, then at each other, immediately blushing crimson.
“And the knut drops,” Theseus grinned. “You’re British, Tina—or should I say Elizabeth—because you’re married to a British citizen. Just recently, in fact. It’s a brand new passport for your late honeymoon—a belated trip you planned while you were waiting for your name and citizenship status to change.”
Newt, still blushing, sputtered a bit. "What...why…?"
"It's a good cover story," Theseus shrugged. "A couple on holiday is much less unusual than an unrelated man and woman traveling together, and they're common enough names to not stand out. There actually is a Thomas and Elizabeth Smith who were married recently, should anyone feel the need to check up on you through muggle registries. And," he grinned widely, "for the record I think you two could definitely be convincing as newlyweds."
"There are no photos on these," Tina noted, choosing to ignore the teasing jab.
"Ah. Well, that's because we were waiting to take them."
"Waiting for…?"
"You're going to need to be disguised. Newt is far too recognizable because of his book, and any of Grindelwald's close followers would surely recognize you. We need to change your appearance. So," he turned to Newt, grinning, “How do you feel about a haircut?”
“No,” Newt replied, firmly. “Absolutely not.”
--------------------------------------
“Why did it have to be cut so short?” Newt moaned as he compulsively ran his hand over his freshly sheared and slicked-back locks.
“It’s barely shorter than mine,” Theseus scoffed, “Stop whinging. You can pick up some Manegro potion when you’re back and return it to how it was. Now, hold still, we need to adjust the color.”
Tina watched as Newt’s coppery-chestnut hair darkened to a deep brown through Theseus’ spellwork. She found that she missed his usual hair more than she’d imagined she would. It was nice to see his eyes better, but she missed the cute disheveled look he usually had. She could see the tips of his ears now that the sides of his hair were shorter, and somehow it seemed to change the entire shape of his face. This Newt looked a little harder; less gentle and sweet, though she knew nothing had really changed.
“Well, he definitely looks different now,” Dumbledore commented as he walked into the room. “I believe you’ve had the same hairstyle for as long as I’ve known you, Newt.”
“Because I like it,” Newt mumbled, almost pouting. Tina smiled, endeared.
“I think perhaps you still need something else though.” Dumbledore studied him, thinking. “I know it’s not quite the fashion among younger men these days, but have you ever considered growing a beard?” he asked as he stroked his own beard.
Newt shrugged slightly and touched the side of his face. “I can’t, really. I don’t shave often. Even with a growth spell to speed it up I doubt it would look very good.”
Tina had noticed that he seemed to have near-constant stubble—so light it was almost invisible unless she got close (and it was a little scratchy when they kissed), but hadn’t really thought more about it. Try as she might, she couldn’t even imagine what Newt would look like with a beard.
“Hmm,” Theseus said. “Let’s see what we can do.”
He tried a facial hair growth spell, then used the same darkening spell as he’d used on Newt’s head, and frowned. “That made it darker, but you’re right...it’s too sparse. That looks terrible.”
Tina had to silently agree, but she couldn’t help but smile at the offended look on Newt’s (terribly-bearded) face.
“What if…” Theseus concentrated, and between using his wand and an enchanted razor, he stood back a few minutes later to reveal Newt—now beardless but sporting a fashionable moustache.
“Say, that’s not bad,” Dumbledore nodded. “Not bad at all.”
Tina didn’t think she liked it, but Newt looked so awkwardly self-conscious from all the changes that she only smiled supportively. “You definitely don’t look like yourself, that’s for sure.”
Newt smiled sadly, then sighed. “It’s only temporary, I suppose. I, um...think I’ll go find Jacob, and see if he recognizes me.”
“We’ll figure out clothing next,” Theseus called after him as he left. Newt didn’t respond.
“I’m afraid I have a class in a few minutes,” Dumbledore said, looking at his watch. “We’ll meet back here in an hour to go over the rest of the details.”
Tina and Theseus both nodded as he left.
“Now it’s your turn.” Theseus turned to her. “What do you think about going blonde?”
A few spells later, and Tina stared at herself in the mirror. Her straight bob and bangs had been transformed into short golden waves, pinned to her head. It struck her how much she looked like Queenie, when before she'd never thought they looked that much alike. The look was completed with a lightening of her eyebrows. Although she still looked like herself, the different style and color of hair wouldn’t make her immediately recognizable.
“Hmm,” Theseus said. “One more thing.” He pointed his wand, and she watched as her eyes faded to a pale blue, which she supposed went better with her new coloring.
“You’re pretty good at this,” she said to Theseus, impressed.
He stood back to look at her, and gave a small half-smile. “It comes in handy in this line of work. I’ve always been good at transformation spells, but for the most part I prefer to send my aurors undercover with subtle changes. Polyjuice wears off or can be revealed with a counter-spell, and any transformation that’s too dramatic will look suspicious if revealed. Some of these changes I’ve done on you and Newt could be reversed if the caster knows the right counter-spells to use, but there’s nothing altogether very suspicious about simply wanting to try a different hair color. It won’t blow your cover unless the caster immediately recognizes you, and it buys you some time.”
“Smart,” Tina nodded.
“Well they didn’t make me head auror just because of good looks.” he smiled, but it was half-hearted. He looked tired, she again noted, and in more ways than one.
“Tina…” he began, then looked away and sighed before lifting his eyes to fix her with a piercing gaze. “I’m not sure how to address this, but while looking into Grindelwald’s potential impact on the parts of Germany and Austria you’re going to, we saw the muggle reports as well. Since you’re going to be posing as muggles, in muggle spaces, you should be very careful. I don’t especially like sending my brother out like this, but I worry more for you in this situation. Though I know you are more than capable of defending yourself, the threat for you comes from both magical and non-magical sides, and the situation there is, frankly, disturbing. I don’t know if you’re aware of what’s been happening in that area in recent years, but...you should avoid letting anyone find out your real name.” He met her eyes, the sincere worry plain in his.
Oh. She nodded, understanding his meaning. “I do have some idea of what’s been going on. It’s hard not to, living in a port city that’s a major hub for immigration...wizarding folks as well as no-majs.” She frowned. “And though my parents never told us kids much about it, I also know my grandparents had good reason to come to New York, so it’s not exactly a new situation.” She met Theseus’ eyes. “I’ll be careful.”
“Good.” He looked away again, uncomfortable. “Also, for whatever it’s worth, I...well, I’m not sure what to say. ‘I’m sorry’ seems vaguely patronizing and useless. But...that level of prejudice...it’s completely barbaric, and I know I can’t fathom what it must be like to face.”
She smiled weakly, unsure how to respond, though she appreciated the sentiment.
She was saved from having to say anything by Newt’s return, Jacob in tow.
Tina turned to face them and they stopped, staring. Jacob’s mouth fell open slightly.
“Tina?” he gasped, wide-eyed. “You look like…”
“I know,” she replied with a sad smile.
Newt stopped in front of her, still staring. “Your eyes…” he said as he lifted his hand as though to touch. It hovered in front of her face for a moment before he dropped it and seemed to realize he was staring. “You look...different,” he said, smiling awkwardly.
“Yeah.”
They looked at each other for a moment, taking in all the changes.
“Okay, why do you both look so SAD?” Jacob’s voice broke the silence. “It’s just hair, and you both look good! Newt, buddy, love the ‘stache! Always a good choice, if I do say so myself.”
They both grinned at each other and looked away, feeling a little bit foolish. Jacob was right—they were still them, and this was only temporary.
“It’ll just take a little getting used to,” Tina said, smiling softly.
“Well you only have to get used to it for a few days,” Theseus snorted, shaking his head at them. “All right—photos for the passports, and then we’ll work on your wardrobe.”
Tina didn’t like the sound of that.
--------------------------------------
A little while later they stood in Dumbledore’s office—Newt in a plain charcoal three-piece suit where his vest matched his jacket and he looked utterly boring—and Tina in a simple peach-colored chiffon day dress that wasn’t at all her usual style. The goal was to blend in, she knew, but she rarely wore dresses or skirts, and preferably never while working. The freedom of movement (as well as a different, harder-to-define freedom) her trousers gave her was worth the odd and disapproving looks she’d gotten from strangers and peers alike. When she did wear a dress or skirt, she preferred simple designs and neutral colors. Black, white, navy, gray. Not peach. She knew it was fashionable, but she’d never cared much about fashion, and bright pastel colors had always been more to Queenie’s taste. Between the change in her hair and the change in her wardrobe, she felt almost like she was impersonating her sister.
Newt looked equally uncomfortable, and she smiled to herself. For all that he didn’t seem to like to be noticed, he also had a rebellious streak where he refused to look like anything other than himself, even if it meant standing out slightly. They had that in common.
Theseus and Dumbledore looked them both over, nodding.
“You’re not immediately recognizable at all,” Theseus voiced his approval. “We’ll give you some more clothing and all the necessary traveling things to make you look convincing as muggles on holiday.”
“You’ve got a room booked at the Gasthaus Steinalder in Innsbruck for two nights,” Dumbledore told them as he handed them a slip of paper with the name and address of the inn. “That should be sufficient.”
“You’ll leave tomorrow,” Theseus continued. “In the interest of saving time you can take the zouwu to the outskirts of the city, if she’s up to it, as long as you manage to merge into the crowd at the train station and appear as though you just arrived. No apparating, only walking or muggle transportation from there, and the train to Garmisch the next day. Remember, NO unnecessary magic. Anyone could be watching.”
Theseus stepped closer to them, placing one hand on Newt’s shoulder and fixing Tina with a serious look. “Be careful, both of you. And best of luck.”
It sounded like a goodbye.
“Are you leaving?” Newt asked, echoing Tina’s thoughts. He sounded surprised.
He nodded. “I am. I’ve got to take these—” he held up the two bands he’d taken from them earlier—“back to your house, and pretend that I was never here. As far as the Ministry is concerned my report will say that you left Mum’s and are now back home, perfectly cooperative.”
“Well don’t say THAT, they’ll never believe it,” Newt replied with a slight grin as he sheepishly ducked his head.
Theseus laughed, but it was strained. “That’s true.”
The two stood in front of each other, Theseus awkwardly rocking back and forth on his feet and Newt looking anywhere but his brother’s face.
“Listen, Newt…” Theseus broke the silence.
But, surprising them all, Newt stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Theseus, cutting off whatever he was about to say. “I know,” he mumbled into his brother’s shoulder. “Me too.”
Tina was pretty sure this was their way of apologizing for the arguing earlier, and possibly the closest they were going to get to admitting out loud that they cared about each other.
“Uh, hate to ruin this moment,” Jacob said as he walked closer from where he’d been waiting at the side of the room. “But I’m gonna go too. With Theseus, I mean.”
“Jacob, you don’t have to do that,” Newt shook his head as he stepped away from his brother. “I’m sure you’d be welcome to stay here until we get back.”
“Of course,” Dumbledore agreed with a nod.
“Nah, I’d rather just stay at Newt’s.” He looked at Newt and Tina. “Can I talk to you guys for a sec?”
They walked to a corner of the room, out of earshot.
“Look,” Jacob began, “I know he seems like he’s got it all together right now, but I don’t think Theseus is doin’ too good.” He frowned. “You guys know I lost my brother in the war, right?”
“Yeah,” Tina confirmed, as Newt gave a nod.
“Yeah. Well, I kinda did the same thing Theseus is doing. Threw myself into work, stayed over there longer than I should’ve because I felt like I needed to DO something to make it feel like his death mattered, you know? Like it meant something. I worked twice as hard to make up for his loss, and God, it hurt.”
“Anyway,” Jacob sighed. “Thes and I have really hit it off, and I think we understand each other in that way former soldiers do. Getting to know him...well, it feels a little like having a brother again. He’s a lot like him, actually.” He gave them a pained smile. “So I feel like I need to be there for him, even if he doesn’t think he needs anyone, you know? I’m gonna stay at Newt’s, help Bunty out with the critters, and keep an eye on Theseus at the same time. I think he could use a friend, and to be honest so could I.”
“That’s very kind of you, Jacob,” Newt told him, sincerity plain on his face. “Thank you.”
“Nah, it’s nothing,” Jacob brushed it off, but his smile said otherwise. “Good luck, you two. See ya in a few days.” He clapped them both on the shoulder, then walked back over to Theseus.
“Ready to go when you are,” he told him, “just so long as it’s not by one of them portkeys.”
Theseus just grinned, his silence less than reassuring, and Jacob groaned.
Later that night, Newt and Tina found themselves without anything to do other than think about what the following day would entail. Newt had spent a few hours showing her around all the parts of Hogwarts they hadn’t gotten to see on their last visit (including a few little nooks that Newt had confessed were places he’d hidden creatures), and they’d had a wonderful dinner courtesy of the kitchen elves. They’d even done the nightly feeding rounds in the case a little early, which none of the creatures complained about.
They strolled through the castle hallways—they were dark but it wasn’t very late yet—saying hello to the occasional ghost or portrait that acknowledged them. They introduced themselves as friends of Dumbledore’s if anyone asked, and Newt remained unrecognized.
“I wonder why we didn’t just leave today,” Newt mused as they walked. “We could have left this afternoon and gone to see Waldmagier tomorrow.”
“Maybe Theseus thought it would take longer to arrange everything?” Tina replied, though she’d been wondering the same thing. “Or maybe it’s to give us some time to get used to our new hair and wardrobe.”
Newt scoffed. “I don’t want to get used to it.”
“Maybe used to it just enough that we don’t look like we’re walkin’ around in someone else’s skin?” Tina smiled, tugging at the material of her new dress awkwardly. She sighed. “Suppose this is what it’s like to be one of the pretty girls.”
Newt stopped in his tracks and stared at her. “What?” he asked, bewilderment in his voice. His eyes were so much more intense now that she could clearly see them, and they were fixed on hers, his brow furrowed. “What are you talking about? You are pretty.”
“I don’t mean…” she shook her head, blushing. “I don’t mean just, you know, looks.” She knew her face wasn’t exactly unattractive, not that it’d ever really mattered. “I mean...all of this.” She gestured to her dress and hair. “Looking fashionable. I feel like I’m impersonating Queenie. That’s never been me. I’m not the sort that gets called pretty.” It wasn’t something she felt all that sad about, most of the time...it just simply was. She’d always been a little too gangly, a little too tomboyish, and a little too smart-mouthed to be pretty.
Newt frowned, expression sad. “Well, you should be,” he said softly, meeting her eyes briefly before looking away. “I much prefer how you usually look.”
Before she could reply, he took her hand. “Come on—I want to show you something.”
He led her up a winding staircase that ended at a locked door. “It’s always locked when class isn’t in session,” he explained. Two fingers carefully stretched open the top pocket of his coat. “Oi, Pick!” he called into it, waiting for the little bowtruckle to poke his head out. “I could use a hand with this.”
Pickett squeaked in what sounded like a grumble, perturbed at having had his nap interrupted. He’d made his opinion about Newt’s new look known (he wasn’t a fan, though Tina suspected that had more to do with losing the nest of Newt’s hair that he often hid in than anything else), but he’d been pleased that Newt was allowed to keep his regular gray overcoat so at least he didn’t have to get used to a new pocket. For tonight, anyway. Tina knew Newt wasn’t looking forward to having to explain to the little bowtruckle that he’d need to stay in the case for a few days, but it probably wasn’t a good idea to risk him being seen.
Grumbly as he was, Pickett willingly scampered down Newt’s arm and made short work of the door lock, standing back proudly when it clicked open.
“Thank you,” Newt said sincerely, smiling as he lifted Pickett back up to his pocket.
He led Tina through the door and around a few more turns before they walked into a large, round, open room. No, Tina realized, as the chilly breeze and view hit her, it was a covered parapet of sorts. A huge brass ringed structure was the center focus of the space—a structure she vaguely remembered from her school days. “Is this…”
“The astronomy tower,” Newt confirmed, nodding. “It’s the tallest tower at Hogwarts, and offers an exceptional view.” He looked down, grinning a bit sheepishly. “Well, it’s an exceptional view during the day.” With a gentle hand at her back, he walked her to the edge of the parapet where nothing could obstruct the view. “At night, however, it’s lovely for stargazing.”
He wasn’t kidding. The remote nature of the castle’s location made for a clear and stunning view of the night sky. ‘Lovely’ was an understatement.
“It’s beautiful,” she breathed out, staring at what seemed like billions of stars.
Newt conjured them a couple of blankets to ward off the chill—one to sit on and one to drape over them—and they settled in against a pillar, snuggling up against each other for warmth.
After a moment of taking in the stars, Newt spoke. “Tina, I want to say something, and I’m not exactly sure of how to go about it, but I think I should try.”
Her stomach did a flip, nervous about what he could possibly mean. “You can say anything to me, you know,” she said, cursing the slight shakiness in her voice. Was he having second thoughts about them? Maybe seeing her looking like this made him realize he could be with someone a little more...normal...if he wanted.
He took her hand and smiled, and her nerves eased somewhat. “I know I can, that’s one of the most astounding things about you. You somehow understand even when my words don’t come out quite right.”
Oh, well that was...sweet.
He looked like he was gathering his thoughts, before he met her eyes again and spoke. “When I said I prefer how you usually look, I don’t want you to think that that’s all that matters to me. I don’t care if you’re not pretty.” He frowned. “No, I don’t mean...what I mean is...I think you’re beautiful, but you seem to think that’s an unusual opinion.” He looked down at their joined hands. “But it’s all of you that I care for, Tina, not just what you look like. If you wanted to change your hair or how you dress or anything else, it would still be you. I don’t...I don’t want you to think that I want or expect you to look a certain way.”
Relief flooded her chest, and she couldn’t help the happy laugh that tumbled out.
Newt cocked his head, bemused by her laughter. “Was that...the wrong thing to say?”
“No, Newt,” she smiled at him, hoping her face showed him just how not-wrong it was. “It was real sweet. For someone who wasn’t sure how to say it, it sure sounded nice.” He smiled back at that, pleased. “You just sounded so serious, I was worried you were gonna say something...else.”
“Like what?” he asked, brow furrowed in confusion.
“Nevermind, it doesn’t matter,” Tina brushed it aside, feeling silly. Newt had done nothing to make her think he was having doubts about their relationship so soon, but once again old insecurities had reared up and were proving hard to overcome. She wondered if they’d ever fully go away, no matter how long this thing between them lasted.
“I am serious though,” he said, still looking a bit confused.
“I know.” She smiled, squeezing his hand. “I feel the same way about you, you know? I miss the way you usually look, but even like this, you’re still you.”
“You do?” He sounded surprised. She tilted her head quizzically at him, and he continued. “It’s only...I thought perhaps you’d prefer this. A little less...messy, and more to modern fashion.”
“Nah,” she replied, shaking her head as she smiled at him yet again. “I like you a little messy. It suits you much better.”
“Oh,” he ducked his head again, smiling softly.
“I actually kinda thought the same thing. That you’d prefer me like this,” she confessed. “You know, a little more...feminine, and” —she used the same words he had—“more to modern fashion.”
“No,” Newt’s head shot up to look at her, sounding mildly horrified at the prospect. “I…” he looked a bit sheepish. “As I said, if you prefer this, that’s all that matters. But it sounds as though you don’t, so I feel I can confess that I find this version of you to be much less…” he paused, as though he was trying to come up with the right word. “Striking,” he finished, gazing at her with wonder. “You’re beautiful like a hippogriff—tall and dignified and perhaps a little bit intimidating. Definitely dangerous.” He grinned playfully and glanced away, blushing a bit, before lifting his eyes back up to hers. “But with a kind and gentle nature that not everyone sees. Of course you’re still the same person, looking like this, but I don’t think it suits you nearly as well. And your eyes...this color looks all wrong on you. The fire is gone.”
She could feel tears welling up in her eyes at his words, which he appeared to notice. “I’m sorry,” he quickly backpedaled, wide-eyed. “I...they don’t look bad. Like a mooncalf, actually. Though smaller of course. They’re still beautiful, I didn’t mean…”
“No, Newt,” she cut him off, giving him a watery smile. “You didn’t say anything wrong. The opposite, actually.” She glanced away. “I’m just not used to the idea of anyone preferring someone like me, I guess.” She didn’t mean for that to sound so pathetic.
“Oh.” He looked down. “I, um, can relate to that, actually.”
They were quite the pair, Tina thought. Each of them so confident in some things and insecure in others. She looked at him, taking the opportunity to study his new look while his eyes were averted.
“Theseus left your freckles,” she noted out loud.
“I know,” he snorted. “I don’t think I would’ve minded if he’d gotten rid of those.”
“No!” Tina gasped, finding herself feeling oddly protective of the tiny dots that peppered Newt’s face and hands (and probably other places, she thought, face heating). “I like ‘em.”
“You do?” Newt answered in surprise, returning his eyes to hers.
“Mm hmm,” she nodded. “And I’m happy that your new moustache doesn’t quite cover up my favorite.”
Newt stared at her, incredulous. “You...have a favorite of my freckles?”
“Yeah,” she smiled, lifting her hand to gently trace a finger over a spot near the top of his upper lip, just below his neatly trimmed moustache. “A few, actually. Right here. I like how even your lips have freckles.”
She shifted her gaze from his lips up to his eyes to find him staring back at her with an intensity rarely seen.
That was all it took for both of them to lean forward, lips meeting in an oddly tentative kiss. It was a bit strange, she thought, kissing each other when they both looked so different from what they’d grown used to, even though they were still the same in every other regard.
She pulled back first, opening her eyes to give him a sheepish smile. “Your moustache tickles,” she told him as she reached up to touch it.
“It feels strange to me too,” he agreed. “I’m not going to be sad to see it go.”
Tina smiled at him, somewhat shyly. “We’ll just have to keep practicing until we get used to it then, I suppose.”
He returned the smile as she leaned forward, intent clear, and let her take the lead. Their second kiss was a little more passionate, growing in intensity as their lips met again and again. When she felt Newt attempt to deepen the kiss though, she stopped and pulled away. There was something else they needed to talk about.
“Is everything all right?” he asked her, confused as to why she’d stopped.
“Yeah,” she assured him. “I just, um...think we should talk about something for a minute.”
He looked at her, eyes questioning and waiting for her to continue.
“Yesterday, in the field, when we were kissing— well, when I was kissing you— what happened? You seemed to sort of...drift away. I had to call your name a few times before you snapped out of it, and the look on your face didn’t seem like you were, uh...enjoying it. You just looked sorta...blank.”
“Oh,” Newt looked away, mild embarrassment coloring his cheeks. “To be honest, I don’t actually know,” he finally admitted, glancing up to her face before looking away again. “I wasn’t exaggerating when I said that I really don’t have any experience with all of this. Though we weren’t ever together in any sort of official capacity, Leta and I did kiss a few times. Um...trying it out, you know.” Tina couldn’t help the sharp pang of envy she felt at that, though she knew it was irrational. She didn’t actually harbor any jealousy when it came to Leta anymore, but hearing about Newt kissing someone else still made her involuntarily bristle despite knowing it was silly and unnecessary. “But,” he continued, “it wasn’t…well, it wasn’t anything like when I kiss you. We were so young. Practically children, really. It wasn’t the same at all, and our relationship, in whatever form it took, hadn’t ever been very physically expressive. Not...not like we are.” He met her eyes. “When I say I don’t have experience, I also mean with closeness in the very literal sense. I’m not used to being touched so much, or to have someone sharing my space. I like it,” he hastily reassured her, “when it’s you.” He ducked his head again, bashfully. “But sometimes, like yesterday, it can get a little...overwhelming. As though it’s too much. It goes from feeling nice to feeling sort of...well, irritating isn’t the right word. More like...itchy, but internally.” He looked up again. “Am I making sense at all?”
“Kinda, yeah,” she nodded. “I have picked up on some of that. I’ve noticed you need a little time with adjusting to things, sometimes. I just didn’t expect you to shut down like that.”
“Neither did I,” he admitted. “Usually if anything starts to feel a little overwhelming, I slow down or stop. But yesterday it was as though I passed a point where I was no longer capable of that. At first it was, um, wonderful,” he glanced at her, shyly. “But then I felt almost as though I’d been stunned. I knew what was happening but I couldn’t really feel it anymore, and then I sort of retreated into my head and blocked everything out. It’s happened before,” he admitted, “not in this situation, of course, and not for a very long time. Mostly when I was young. I learned to adapt and cope when things would occasionally get overwhelming—noise, crowds, that sort of thing. I still occasionally get caught being stuck in my own head a bit when there’s a lot going on, just not usually to the point that I drift away completely.”
He paused, frowning. “But this particular situation isn’t something I’ve encountered before, where it’s almost...too much of a good feeling. I was enjoying it, very much, and becoming overwhelmed to where I couldn’t react sort of...caught me off guard. And it’s not quite the same as…” he trailed off, seeming to consider his words. “Losing oneself isn’t always a bad thing, in the right circumstances,” he said as he blushed slightly, “but overall I prefer to maintain some amount of control as a means of grounding myself. It’s why I rarely drink much at once, especially not in public. I can’t control the unpredictable nature of the world around me, but if I focus on my reactions to it I can usually at least control those.”
Tina nodded. “I can understand that.” She considered him for a moment. “I think maybe you’ve been trying to do some sort of gentlemanly thing here, with us, where you’re letting me set the pace.” He was silent, not denying it. “But Newt, I don’t want you to ever be uncomfortable. I don’t want to do anything that you don’t want or aren’t ready for, and I really don’t like the idea that I might do something without even realizing you’re overwhelmed and not actually enjoying it. I need to know if you’re losing yourself in the good way and you’re okay with that, or if it’s bad.”
“Now that I know I could potentially react that way, I’ll try to recognize it and slow down sooner,” he nodded.
“And I think talking about it is good too. I won’t do anything new without checking first that you’re okay with it. We can even take a step back, if you want. You know this is all new to me too. I just like spending time with you, I’m...not in a rush for anything else.” She felt her face flush as she averted her eyes.
A silence settled over them as they sat next to each other, the atmosphere thick with a sort of tense awkwardness. Newt eventually broke it, his voice small.
“Do you suppose other couples—perhaps like the sort of people we currently look like—have problems like this?”
Tina squeezed his hand, bumping his shoulder with hers until he raised his eyes to look at her. “Hey,” she smiled. “I’d hardly call this a problem. It’s more like…” she paused, gathering her thoughts. “As an auror, you often work in a team, or sometimes with a partner. And one of the first things you learn is that communication is really important. You have to know the people you work with—their skills and strengths and weaknesses—because you have to rely on each other in the field. Even if you may not exactly be friends, you still gotta work well together. This,” she gestured between them, “is a partnership too. And though it’s different, communication is still really important. We don’t have a great track record with that, but we’re learning now, I think.”
“I think so too,” Newt said, almost mumbling. He wasn’t meeting her eyes, though there was a slight smile on his lips. “I’m trying to not completely ruin this,” he continued, voice still small. “I know I’m odd, and that I annoy people. I’ve never cared what others thought of me, not really, but I find that I very much do care what you think. I don’t...I don’t want to be strange and annoying to you. I’m sorry that this is more difficult because of me.”
“Newt…” she whispered, appalled. How could he truly think…? “You aren’t making anything difficult, and you’re NOT annoying. We’re figuring each other out, a few stumblings are normal, I think.” She frowned when he still wouldn’t look at her. “And so what if you’re a little different?” she said, probably a bit too loudly, but she was getting riled up just thinking about the way he’d so casually declared himself annoying, as though it was simply a fact. “Who said that’s bad?”
“Nearly everyone, in my experience,” he muttered, and she thought about the conversations she’d had with Theseus, and with his mother.
“Well they’re wrong,” she declared, adamant. “I’ve always been a little different too. Maybe different is what we need. We can be odd together, and who gives a DAMN what anyone else thinks?”
She squeezed his hand, so tightly she worried she might be hurting him, but he clung back just as hard.
“You’re kinda wonderful, do you know that?” she said, feeling a bit victorious when he finally raised his eyes to hers, though she hated the disbelief she saw there. “I’ve never made friends easily, but with you it wasn’t hard. If you’re odd, then in my opinion odd is better.”
She could see wetness in his eyes as he silently wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer into his side. “I think you’ll find,” he finally spoke, voice gentle, “that it’s you who is wonderful.”
“Well we both are, then,” she declared, resting her head on his shoulder.
They sat that way for a long moment, emotions high as they held one another close.
“Hey, Newt?” Tina broke the silence to get his attention.
“Yes?”
“You really think I look dignified, like a hippogriff? The first time you met me I had mustard all over my face.”
His only response was to squeeze her closer still, but as he dropped a gentle kiss onto the top of her head she could feel the grin on his lips.