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Sirius had once again spent his evening in the library, not because he was studying, but because Remus was, and Sirius loved to watch him do so. Remus had begged him to go to bed though, seeing how tired his friend was. After protesting a bit, Sirius had left. But even though it was past midnight, the Gryffindor common room wasn’t empty when he stepped in. James was sitting there. Sirius was about to ask him what he was still doing here when he realized that his best friend was asleep. He was trying to decide whether he should wake James up or just let him sleep, but before he could do anything, James woke up, probably sensing the boy’s presence next to him.
‘Oh, you’re finally here,’ James said with a sleepy voice.
‘Why aren’t you in your bed, idiot?’ Sirius asked, sitting in an armchair next to his friend.
‘I was waiting for you! The most wonderful thing happened today, and I wanted to tell you about it…’ the Potter boy started. ‘But why did you come back so late?’
‘I was in the library,’ Sirius said like it was obvious.
‘What in the name of Merlin where you doing in the library this late? Only Moony would-’ he stopped dead. His expression was frozen, as if he had just made a strange realization.
Sirius frowned.
‘Only Moony would what?’ he asked.
James’ astonished faced seemed to be petrified for a few more seconds. Then, he started smiling, and his surprised look turned into an understanding one.
‘What’s going on with you, James?’ Sirius asked, both annoyed and a bit worried about his best friend’s odd behavior.
‘You’re in love with him.’ James finally said.
Sirius looked taken aback.
‘- What? With who?
- With Remus!’
Sirius’ face became red, and he hoped that it was too dark for James to notice. Trying to sound serene, he replied:
‘I am not. Absolutely ridiculous.’
James looked at him with compassion, but it was like he knew something Sirius didn’t and was waiting for him to guess what it was. Sirius hated that look.
‘What happened with Lily today anyway?’ he said, trying to change the subject.
‘How do you even know it was about Lily?’ James asked, but then he realized what Sirius was trying to do and he didn’t give him an opportunity to answer. ‘Don’t try to avoid this conversation! Come on, you can tell me.’
‘I’m not avoiding anything,’ Sirius retorted. ‘There’s just nothing to say.’
James didn’t reply to that, but he gave his friend a look that meant he knew he was lying.
‘I mean, come on! He’s a nerd, he’s always buried in his books, that’s extremely annoying! How could I be in love with him?’ Sirius argued.
‘I know you find that adorable,’ James answered.
‘- No I don’t!
- You once told me that watching Remus read had the same effect on you as watching kittens videos. And when I asked you what kittens videos were, you told me that it was a muggle thing that you learned from Remus.
- It’s because he’s my best friend, I’m more relaxed when I’m around him, it makes sense!
- Hey! I’m your best friend!’ James answered, pretending to be offended. ‘You can at least admit that you think he’s cute.
- No!
- Dude, come on. You buy him chocolate from Hogsmeade.
- Well, yes, but I’d do that for you, too.
-No, you wouldn’t. Do you remember that time I was sick and you wouldn’t even bring me a glass of water because you were “busy working on an excuse” but “peter was free”?
- Okay, not my proudest moment,’ Sirius admitted, a bit ashamed of himself.
‘- You know, now that I’m thinking about it, there have been signs.
- Uh?
- Yeah! Like how you’re almost always looking at him when he’s not paying attention. Or, do you remember that time when he came out of the showers wearing just his boxers because he had forgotten his clothes? You were silent all evening after that, which usually never happens. Or how you’ve always hated every girl who showed any interest in him. Or-
- Are you done?
- I could go on for hours. Just the fact that you would stay in the library late at night when he’s there even though you never go on your own…
- That’s rich coming from you! You always make us take detours in the hallways just so you can see Evans for half a second.’
James’ gaze suddenly changed, the way it would’ve if Sirius had just admitted he liked Remus. Which he hadn’t.
‘Why are you looking at me like that? You look stupid,’ Sirius said.
‘You just confessed!’ James started enthusiastically. ‘You did! You compared how I act around Lily – who I have romantic feelings for – and how you act around Remus!’
Sirius shook his head and looked away, not saying anything.
‘Come on, man! You know I’d never judge you. Just admit it!’ James encouraged his best friend.
‘All right! Fine!’ Sirius started. ‘I love watching him read and study, and I love when he tells me about the things he reads. And yes, I always buy him chocolate because I know how stressed he gets when he doesn’t have any, and yes, I also go to Hogsmeade outside of the authorized visits when I know his stock is emptying. Yes, I stare at him all the time because I think he’s both the cutest and the most handsome man I’ve ever seen, and that’s not even half of the reasons why I’m attracted to him. And yes, fine, seeing him half-naked really shook me up and it’s all I could think about for days after that. And yes, I always go to the library with him because it’s physically impossible for me to be away from him for too long. I’m-’
He paused for a just a second before adding:
‘I’m in love with Remus! There, is that what you wanted to hear?’
James stared at him for a few seconds.
‘- Well, yes,’ he said softly. ‘But you said that rather-
- Loudly?’
Sirius’ whole body froze. This couldn’t be happening right now.
He slowly turned around, and so did James.
Remus was standing there, just in front of the portrait hole, books held tight against his chest.
James saw the look of horror on Sirius’ face. He didn’t know what to do to make it better, so he asked Remus:
‘Have you heard all of that?’
Remus looked extremely embarrassed, his cheek were flushed and his voice was shaking.
‘Don’t- don’t look at me like that! I was minding my own business, but Padfoot was talking so loudly it would’ve been hard to miss his speech.’
The room fell silent for a moment. James didn’t know if he was supposed to stay or to leave. The look on Sirius’ eyes begged him to stay, but it only took James one glance over to Remus to decide that leaving was the best solution. He had never noticed it before – perhaps because it was the actual first time it ever happened – but Remus too had a special way of looking at Sirius when the latter wasn’t paying attention.
Despite Sirius’ cries of protest, James had left the common room, and Sirius had found himself alone with Remus. He hadn’t moved from his chair, and now his face was resting on his hands. He didn’t hear Remus come closer and settle where James had been just a few minutes before.
‘So...’ the werewolf started. ‘You… like me?’
Sirius laughed and straightened himself a bit.
‘- That’s a bit of an understatement,’ he answered, deciding he might as well own it now. ‘I thought you heard what I said.
- I did. I just… Well, I can’t figure out whether I’m dreaming or not.’
Sirius frowned. Dreaming? Why would he think…
‘Wait...’ he said, confused. ‘Aren’t you… mad at me? For running our friendship?’
‘Mad at you?’ Remus replied. ‘That’s absurd, I could never be mad at you. Especially not for that.’ He moved a little so his knee touched Sirius’s. ‘In fact, I would’ve “ruined our friendship” long ago if I thought I had any chance with you at all.’
Sirius couldn’t believe it. It was a trick, a bad joke, wasn’t it? There was no way Remus Lupin could ever like him like that.
‘What do you mean?’ he simply asked.
‘I mean,’ Remus answered with the beginning of a smile, ‘that I am rather fond of you myself.’
When, a few seconds later, his lips were on Remus’, Sirius made a mental note to thank James for being a nosy best friend.