Chapter Text
But he [Hadês]
gave her, stealthily, the honey-sweet berry of the pomegranate to eat,
peering around him.[43] He did not want her to stay for all time
over there, at the side of her honorable mother, the one with the dark robe.
After the war, days pass slowly. Neil doesn’t return, but a part of Andrew always knew he wouldn’t be able to keep him. Unfortunately, the rest of the gods decided unanimously that the Underworld is a fun and funky place to be, and spend all their time petitioning for entrance. Nicky is the worst offender of course, but Allison is getting up there, seeming to enjoy the company of someone she can insult relentlessly for two hours without getting a reaction. He rejects their petitions half of the time, but Nicky doesn’t notice, and Allison seems to be thrilled by the idea of rejection.
Renee visits often enough, but she spends most of her time at the Forge, helping rehabilitate Jean, with the help of the new Ares, who Andrew met once and then immediately dismissed as an optimistic loon. That might be part of the reason Allison visits so often, but Andrew doesn’t care about Allison’s motivations or personal life at all, so he doesn’t analyze further. Aaron doesn’t visit, but he texts regularly enough that Andrew suspects Katelyn’s hand in it.
Wymack and Dan visit on a regular schedule, once a month to exchange information on Neil’s whereabouts or new plans for the world. It’s the first time since Andrew ascended that the triune are allied. That can either mean a despotic or golden era, but looking at the optimistic twinkles in the eyes of his visitors, his money is on the latter.
Wymack is everything Nathan couldn’t have been, a leader instead of just someone in power. He holds no pretenses of controlling the underworld, but makes a sincere effort in understanding the inner workings of the realm. When Abby occasionally joins, she mentions how much she adores Aaron, and Nicky confirms that Aaron seems to have found a new mother that won’t beat him this time around. Andrew doesn’t expect to like the couple that much, but they grow on him slowly, like a fungus.
For a while, Matt would visit and then stand awkwardly in the foyer making terrible small talk before leaving, until Andrew broke down and asked if he wanted to play video games or something. Matt doesn't seem to want anything from Andrew than typical bro company, and if Andrew is being honest, he’s been starved of it for most of his life. Andrew beats him to hell and back in any racing game from Mario Kart to Need for Speed, but Matt is a veritable god of Street Fighter. Kevin joins now and again, but when he does it’s always Matt and Andrew against him. Kevin takes umbrage, but he’s the god of strategic warfare, and his second in command is the goddess of victory, so he can shut his mouth forever.
It’s more of a life than he ever expected to have. It’s not enough.
He’s starting to think the other gods are worried about him, and it feels like pity, so he shuts out every petition for entrance from everyone for months. He gets a few questioning texts, but eventually all contact shuts down, and he’s as isolated as he ever was. He thought he would be comforted by the familiarity, but there’s no comfort to be found.
The whole point of being Hades was that nobody could take anything from him anymore. He never considered that he could still be left.
Life continues. Andrew feels bored and tired more often than not. He thinks maybe his tenure of Hades is reaching an expiration date. Death continues. He wakes up and negotiates with dead judges, sends Furies into the world for collection of despicable souls, empties his own coffers to allow access into the Underworld for those who didn’t have a coin for ferry passage.
There’s a bleakness to his existence these days. Something will give soon, and Andrew half-fears, half-hopes it ends up being himself.
*
He gets the text late at night.
Zeus : found him.
Before Andrew can ask for a location, Neil is in the room. He looks like shit, his hair messy, and his cheeks blotchy and stained with tears and snot. There are dark bags under his eyes, like black bruises, and his clothes hang off of him, just as ugly and cheap-looking as the rest of his usual wardrobe. His hands are covered in golden ichor. He stumbles forwards, and Andrew moves to catch him.
It’s a shock, feeling Neil in his arms again. He feels smaller, slighter. His hair is dyed black, and he smells like smoke and death. Andrew wills them into a bathroom, before hoisting Neil’s body onto the sink counter. Neil stays collapsed against Andrew’s shoulder, and Andrew isn’t in a particular rush to let him go, so they stay like that for a minute, ten minutes, twenty.
Andrew’s arms are starting to cramp when Neil pulls back a little bit and begins to whisper. “She wasn’t dead. I had to find her, but nobody would tell me where she was, and I took too long, and when I got there-” His voice breaks off, and he scrubs harshly at his cheeks. “When I got there it was too late. I had to kill her, I had to-” And at that he completely falls apart. Andrew puts the pieces together.
After months of searching for his mother, Neil had found her ruined remains, still barely alive. She must have begged him to kill her, and he, ever the good son, must have taken her life.
Andrew thinks hard, and finds the name. Mary Hatford. Death by immolation. Elysium. Andrew considers his options before lifting Neil bodily again, and depositing him in the tub. Neil goes willingly, strips out of his clothes unprompted, then curls up on himself. Andrew runs the hot water, and waits until Neil is almost submerged. He’s in pajamas, just a t-shirt and long pants, so he doesn’t hesitate before shucking the shirt and pants and stepping into the tub behind Neil. Neil leans forward and makes room for Andrew to settle, before leaning back on his chest.
His tears have stopped mostly, leaving a sort of blank deadness in his eyes. They stay in the water together, Neil’s wet hair plastered against the skin of Andrew’s neck, Andrew’s arms wrapped tight around Neil’s torso. They breathe.
The water never goes cold, but Andrew gathers them up out of the tub when his fingers get too pruny. He wraps Neil up in towels, before drying himself off and willing his pajamas back on. He goes to summon some clothes for Neil too, and when they’re dressed and mostly just damp, Andrew wills them to bed.
Neil stares at the bed unblinkingly for five long seconds before collapsing into it. Andrew follows, already exhausted from the rest of his day. Neil immediately moves towards him, and Andrew pulls him in the rest of the way. Neil mashes his face against Andrew’s neck, and holds the fabric of his shirt in a death grip. He’s asleep in seconds.
Andrew follows soon after.
*
Andrew wakes up, and Neil is sitting on the edge of the bed, hands knotted. He looks better, though only marginally so.
“Good morning,” he says softly, and Andrew doesn’t speak, waits to hear what he knows is coming. “I can’t stay,” he says, and there it is.
“I didn’t ask you to,” Andrew says, and it feels bitter in his mouth. Neil doesn’t even have the grace to wince.
“There’s nothing in the world that I want to do more than stay but,” he breaks off and looks down at his hands, “but I killed Demeter. It was conquest. I have to find the next Demeter, or the power is going to eat me alive from the inside,” Neil says. He’s shaking.
Andrew reaches for Neil, and Neil falls into him. Andrew presses his mouth against Neil’s temple, grabs the back of his neck and holds on. The shaking slows to a halt.
“Come back,” Andrew says against Neil’s head, and Neil nods, says I promise and then, slowly enough that Andrew could stop him, presses a kiss against his lips. It’s forceful, like Neil is trying to burn his kiss onto Andrew’s lips, trying to anchor himself against something.
Then he’s gone.
*
The next few months go like that. Neil shows up some nights, but he leaves in the morning like clockwork. He looks worse every time, but Andrew takes comfort in the fact that Neil always looks better when he leaves.
On the first day of spring, Neil arrives with a guest in tow. Andrew is working on one of the endless asphodel spreadsheets, trying to find the space for expansion when he hears a throat clear behind him.
“I do hate to disturb you Andrew, but I was simply too excited to see you.” Andrew stops dead and turns, heart in his throat because, oh, oh that’s-
“Bee,” Andrew says, the name falling out of his mouth without permission. She looks healthy, with a dark tan and a bright smile. She looks hopeful and kind as she outstretches her arms, and for the first time in a long time, all Andrew wants is a hug.
She smells like sun-warm dirt and clementines, and he’s missed her so much. “How have you been, Andrew?” she asks.
“I’ve been okay, Bee,” he finally says, pulling back. She holds his shoulders and peers at him in her Holmesian fashion, putting together all the pieces that he never needed to tell her. She smiles and her eyes disappear into her face and her smile lines become even more visible.
“I’m glad to hear it,” she says. She turns to Neil and nods once. “I’ve decided. I’ll do it.” Neil smiles, and how long has he been there?
“Then I call you to witness Betsy Dobson, previous Apollo, Mother of the Harvest and Hades, Good Dread, and Reigning Demeter,” Neil says, and Bee, now Demeter, closes her eyes, and lets a warm orange glow fill the room.
“Bee, you said you were done with the Pantheon,” Andrew says, after a few moments of reverent silence.
“I was! Truly, I was, but when Neil found me, and honestly I don’t know how he even knew about me, he told me that Abby and David were back, and that if I were to become Demeter, I could stay on the farm with Stephanie, but also I could visit you. I asked Neil to bring me here to make my decision, and I’ve done it; being able to see you will be worth the grey hairs,” Bee says, in a laughing voice. Andrew blinks quickly. She came for him. She came back for him. He looks at Neil, and sees that Neil too is blinking past tears. And Neil did this for him, didn’t he? He was on Earth killing himself trying to find a ex-god who didn’t want to be found, just so Andrew could have this moment.
“Don’t pretend you haven’t already been dyeing your hair,” Andrew says, and she throws her head back and laughs.
“The point is, being a god back then was soured by the presence of true evil. Now, the company is far better, and might do with a little experience to guide them forwards. And I have missed you dearly, Andrew,” Bee says. Andrew is about to open his mouth and reply, but the back of his head is bombarded with petitions from the other gods to enter. He lets them all in at once, and moves back just quick enough to escape the swarm of gods.
“Holy shit, Betsy, you’re back!” Matt yells, and her reply is drowned out by the rest of the pack, led by Wymack and Abby, as they throw congratulations and themselves at her.
Andrew, stepped away from the ruckus, sees Neil alone on the side of it all, looking tired and worn but happy. It must be a relief to let go of all of that power.
“Take this celebration above ground,” Andrew says, before kicking all of them out. Except Neil.
“Hey,” Neil says, as Andrew walks towards him, “I was wondering if maybe I could-“ and he isn’t talking anymore because Andrew is kissing him, and then Neil is kissing him back, and Neil’s hands are in his hair, and his lips are hot against his neck, and Andrew’s hands are wandering, and then Neil wills them into the bedroom, which is astonishingly difficult for someone who isn’t Andrew, he must really want to be-
Andrew stops thinking at that point. It’s widely regarded to be a great move.
*
Andrew wakes up and sees Neil sitting on the edge of the bed, and everything in his body sinks.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to wake you up,” Neil says. “I was coming right back, but I had to do something.”
“Do what?” Andrew asks, eyes narrowed. Neil holds up his right hand, and right in the center of his palm is a perfect, ruby red pomegranate.
“Neil,” Andrew starts, but Neil is already shaking his head.
“Andrew, I was looking for my mother on Earth for so long, and it almost killed me. The only thing that kept me moving was knowing that I could come home to you. I’m already tied inextricably to you, Andrew, you already possess a part of me. I just want to make it official. I want you to know that I’m not ever going anywhere. Not on purpose, not without you.” He’s rolling the pomegranate in his hands as he speaks, but at this he presses his thumbs into the rind, and breaks it apart, spilling the seeds on the bed sheets. It’s an unnatural fruit, born of Hades, so there is no juice, no mess, just the garnet pearls, scattered between them.
“Besides. If you wanted to make it reciprocal, I’m the god of flowering. If you eat some of these, I get to keep you too,” Neil says, and that’s what seals it for Andrew, that Neil would know that Andrew would be uncomfortable at the imbalance, and would engineer a specific solution, but let it be Andrew’s choice entirely.
Andrew grabs six of the seeds and pops them into his mouth. Neil rolls his eyes. “Way to steal my thunder-“ he cuts off, and his eyes widen. “Andrew I can feel you, in my head, I can feel you, it’s like you’re tethered to me, I-“ he shuts up and grabs six too, popping them like pills.
Andrew narrows his eyes and then, oh. That’s Neil.
It’s an awareness he’s never had, an understanding of him. It is like a tether, one Andrew could use to pull Neil closer, but also could use to assure himself of the connection, a way to communicate. It feels like belonging.
Neil’s eyes are wide and starry, and Andrew could reach out with his hands to touch him, but instead reaches with his mind, lightly tugs on the connection and sees Neil lean forward in response.
They’re both grinning like loons, and Neil all but leaps onto him and they’re messing up the sheets and sending pomegranate seeds flying, and Andrew kisses Neil and holds him close through the tether.