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For You, My Dear

Summary:

Beelzebub was trembling slightly, but otherwise motionless, with their back turned to him. He reached out, placing a hand on them, and they pulled away, a second quiet sob escaping.
Gabriel felt them sit up in the bed next to him. His hand fumbled for the lamp’s switch and they pulled him roughly away from it, their voice a hoarse whisper.

“Gabriel...no...don’t.”

Work Text:

Gabriel halted in the doorway, dressed in his pajamas - a faded t-shirt and a pair of awful tartan pants that were at least comfortable - as he heard the sound of a pained sob from the darkness of their bedroom.

Quietly, he made his way to their bed, slipping under the heavy blankets next to his demon. Beelzebub was trembling slightly, but otherwise motionless, with their back turned to him. He reached out, placing a hand on her, and they pulled away, a second quiet sob escaping them, and Gabriel felt them sit up in the bed next to him. His hand fumbled for the lamp’s switch and they pulled him roughly away from it, their voice a hoarse whisper.

“Gabriel...no...don’t.”

Their hands shook against his arm.

“Dear?” Gabriel reached out towards them in the dark, curling a hand around their head, carefully weaving his fingers into their short hair. Beelzebub stiffened, and Gabriel felt their hands shift position, palms flat against his chest, almost pushing him away, but not quite.

“My heaven, what’s wrong?”

It seemed, for just a moment, like they were going to tell him, but didn’t, and instead they seemed to make an attempt at scorn, but with no real emotion behind the words.

“It’s nothing you angels would understand.”

“No?”

They huffed, hands dropping from Gabriel’s body. “You never fell. There’s absolutely nothing about this that still holy beings would understand.”

“You were an angel once too, Beelz. I think I can attempt to understand.” Gabriel reached back, succeeding at flipping the light on this time.

At the sudden onslaught of brightness, Beelzebub flinched back, their hands flying up instantly before their face. Gabriel felt, rather than saw, the vibrations of a demonic miracle being hastily worked, and , as for what he could see past their hands, his demon looked rather more bedraggled and pale than usual.

“You look a bit of a mess, my dear. What’s the matter?”

He gripped their wrist, trying to pull their hands off their face, and they ducked their head down, landing a harsh slap against the side of his face.

“Ouch.”

He took hold of their free wrist, cringing slightly at how easy it was to restrain them, at how very small and weak they looked, curled in on themself in their bed. Gabriel pulled Beelz into him, easing their hands apart, in a futile attempt to get them to raise their head.

“Dear, whatever it could possibly be, I can assure you I’m here.”

He removed his hand from their wrist, relocating it to their chin and tilting their face up so their eyes would meet. Beelzebub jerked in his grasp, a last-ditch effort to pull away, but Gabriel was determined, keeping a firm but gentle grip, so as not to hurt them.

He felt the demonic energy around Beelzebub spike, and heard a sob break from their throat as their eyes finally met.

Gabriel took in their appearance, the demon looking quite a bit more sickly than he was used to seeing, though still relatively like themself, eyes reddened and glassy from tears, skin paler than he’d initially thought it was, brow furrowed in discomfort, and eyes widened by fear. Gabriel’s eyes scanned their face, surprised by the quantity of painful-looking boils across it, some appearing quite infected, and none of which he had ever seen before.

“Dear...” His voice died in his throat.

It was quite rare that the Archangel Gabriel was ever at a loss for words. This seemed to be one of those times, however.

“Spare me.” Beelzebub spat, disgust overtaking their expression. “Heaven cursed us. They cursed all of us. Angels-“ they spoke the word like a swear, like it tasted bad in their mouth, “-can’t begin to understand.”

Gabriel felt their demonic miracle recede. There was no point in keeping it up now, he realized, as it came to him that they’d been attempting to hide how they looked. “You’ve been concealing this - all this time?”

Words could not describe the glare they bestowed upon him. “Yes. Obviouzzly. It’s disgusting.” The fear had left the demon’s voice, and their eyes were bright with rage.

Gabriel opened and closed his mouth a few times, each thing he thought to say sounding quite a bit worse than the last.

“Zzzpit it out.” Their voice was a low growl, anger burning through the edges. “I’m pitiful and grozz, and you want nothing to do with me now.”

“No!”

Gabriel was shocked at the volume of his own voice, the emotion that betrayed his feelings as he spoke. “It’s not like that- not at all, I was only thinking...”

“What?” Their tone was indignant, eyes cast away from him, as though they couldn’t bear to meet.

“Is it - does it hurt?”

They heaved a sigh and their eyes rolled back briefly, as if Gabriel was wasting their time. “Wouldn’t be much of a curse if it didn’t.”

The reality of that statement hit Gabriel, and he suddenly felt as if he might cry himself. “My dear...”

“I don’t need your pity, angel.” He stroked a thumb across their cheek, careful to avoid the sores, but they hissed and pulled away from him.

”What are you playing at? I said I didn’t want -“

“Is this why you were crying earlier?” Gabriel cut theiroff, knowing he made a mistake the moment Beelzebub’s head shot up, their eyes locking with his, but in a surprising change of emotions, they seemed to deflate, collapsing into his arms, twisting their body as they fell so that they were looking up at him. “I can’t miracle it away when it hurtzz bad, I can’t quite concentrate.”

“It does hurt quite a bit then?” They sighed, seeming to be content to relax against Gabriel’s chest rather than answer. their hands twisted into his worn t-shirt, and they pressed the unmarred side of their face into his shoulder.

His arm wrapped around her, his thoughts recalling the cold, damp atmosphere of hell from the moments he had been there on business. The demons seemed to make hostility and solitude their way, and Beelzebub’s slight shudders under his touch confirmed to him just how starved for affection they were, whether they knew it or not.

A few minutes passed, and Gabriel began to feel the love radiating from the demon’s small body. A smile broke across his face as Beelzebub opened their eyes and glanced up at him. “You look stupid. Stop smiling so much.” He stroked a hand through their hair, and they hungrily leaned into the contact. “Nobody loves you down in Hell?”

“They fear me there. That’s all I need. Love izzz -“

“- weak. I know. Although angels are basically built on love, Beelz.”

“That’s your own problem then, zztupid.”

“Fair enough.”

“......”

“......”

“Does it hurt?” For Beelzebub had writhed slightly in his grasp, stifling a groan against the back of their hand. they shook their head, an obvious lie, as their face was scrunched in an expression of pain.

Gabriel sighed, conjuring a small miracle of his own, though not knowing what he could do against a heavenly curse. A sharp ache flashed across his face for a moment as if he’d been scorched with a hot iron, a sudden glimpse into the pain Beelzebub underwent daily.

You take a demon’s pain away? Here’s your punishment.

Beelzebub gasped quietly, eyes wide and searching to Gabriel. “Better now?” they nodded, appearing to be at a loss for words right that minute.

they found their voice a while later, though, while they were sitting up across from each other on the bed. “You’re not...not dizzgusted by me?”

“Why would I be?”

“I look -“

“I love you, Beelz. Why would this make any difference?”

“It’s awful -“

“It’s part of you.”

“But -“

“ - and I love you, all of you, so why should I reconsider?”

they went silent, staring at him for a moment, before a true sob broke from her, and they collapsed forward into his arms. A few tears sprang to Gabriel’s eyes at this, and he gripped them tightly against him, stroking through their hair as they cried quietly into his shirt. Gabriel hummed softly as he held Beelz, and it wasn’t three minutes before they pulled back and crashed their lips to his, the kiss wet from tears and desperate for validation.

Gabriel would’ve never thought of leaving.