Chapter Text
Jin sits on his bed, a storm of emotions running through his mind. He looks back at moments he had with namjoon, if jimin was right it all makes sense now. The reason namjoon was mad that morning was because maybe he had thought Jin liked him, and that"s why they did what they did. The more Jin thought about it the faster his heart started to beat and realisation hit him hard.
So everything he was hoping wasn"t all in his head, namjoon might actually really like him. There"s no other way to find out then to tell him the truth, Jin has to confess his feelings to namjoon.
It takes him a while to build up courage to talk to namjoon. It was hard when joon would just give a half-hearted smile whenever Jin came close and he would find any way to not stay alone with Jin. He felt discouraged and scared out of his mind but he had to try, his heart had to know the truth, even if it will hurt him.
It was late at night one day, the boys all asleep after a long long practise day. Jin was just done from his shower and was heading to the kitchen to get some water when he meets namjoon there, having a late dinner. He smiles softly “hey joon..” he whispers and gets his mug, deciding to make a warm cup of tea instead. Joon just hums back and eats quietly.
The air was thick around them, but not in a vary comfortable way. It was cold and full of unspoken words and heartache. Jin sighs as he sits next to namjoon, resting his mug and hands on the table “ joon-ah..listen, I know we’ve been through a lot..but I don’t like this..I don’t like how we’ve become now..” he pauses and hears namjoon take a deep breath before speaking “ Hyung..what do you mean? You wanted to be friends and forget what happened..” he turns to him for a bit just to nod “there’s nothing wrong with us..”. Jin shakes his head “that’s not true.. I can tell, you barely even smile at me joonie..you don’t talk to me like you used to, we don’t even sit together anymore..this isn’t what I wanted” he looks at him. Namjoon groans “what is it that you want then? Tell me” he says a bit harsher then intended, which leaves Jin speechless “that’s what I thought...” joon says and rolls his eyes, getting up and leaving Jin behind.
Jins heart fell to his guts. It felt just like that morning when they had that fight and namjoon left him again. He was starting to think maybe jimin was wrong.
Namjoon ran to his room, confused and frustrated. Jin pulled at his heart strings unlike anyone ever could. It was so painful knowing he was building walls between them, but it was the only way he knew how to protect his fragile heart from breaking apart. Jin doesn’t know this of course and so namjoon doesn’t even know why he got mad at him; it was unfair to his Hyung. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to go back out there and talk with him, it was just too much.
Days pass, Namjoon grew tired of trying to protect his heart just to have it hurt more when he can see how much Jin is trying to fix things and he in turn pushed away. In truth, his love for his Hyung never lessened, not even a bit. He longed for him and missed him more than he has ever missed anyone in his life. It was time to put an end to it, and damn whatever happens.
And so namjoon starts to talk to Jin as if that conversation they had that night never even happened and Jin honestly didn’t know what to make of that. He hadn’t bothered to talk to namjoon about it anymore. he decided to try to get closer to him again and just see what happens.
They started to sit next to each other again and Jin would laugh and maybe brush his hand on namjoon shoulder, it was simple, but to him it was progress, because namjoon didn’t move away or showed any kind of discomfort.
He was honest he had no idea what his plan was or where it was leading. He just knew he wants namjoon to start getting comfortable with him again, because he was starting to miss him like crazy too.
It was when they had an award show a week later that things finally started to move forward between them. Somehow that familiar pull that brought them together has come back, and none of them really knew why. They kept glancing at each other almost all day. At this point namjoon hair has grown long and lushes. And he died it an ashy blonde, wanting to try a new style. Little did he know the new look was driving Jin mad. It was too much to take. The way namjoon ran his hand through his long hair, or how the colour perfectly complemented his honey skin tone, plus the black suit joon was wearing. Jin simply couldn’t take his eyes off him.
And on the other hand, namjoon glances to where his Hyung was sitting were maybe not that secrete, but you really can’t blame him. Jin had decided to let his hair grow a little too, and better yet, he styled it so his forehead shows. Namjoons usually smart and quick thinking brain started to have problems as he couldn’t even hear his stylist noona calling for him for the tenth time, all because he couldn’t stop looking at Jin, feeling his heart being pulled to him.
They go up to stage for Dionysus, all looking like kings about to take over the world. And part of that is true, as namjoon makes an unexpected move on his and jins part, he takes over Jin mind with just that one move. He came so close to him, rapping with the veins in his neck popping and eyes sharp with concentration and a sexy expression. They were all sweating and hot as they finish the song, blood pumping in their veins and the adrenaline rush from the crowd screaming for them makes them high with the power of it.
They just glanced at each other and Namjoon had enough. As soon as seokjin walked off stage to the backstage namjoon grabbed his arm and pulled him into a dark hallway, pinning him to the wall “what do you think you’re doing!” he growls. Jin gulps thickly, sweaty from dancing and now from namjoon pinning him like this, his eyes so intense. It reminds him so much of the first time they were this close “I-I don’t...I didn’t do anything...” he whispers. Namjoon chuckles low and deep, making Jin shiver “don’t lie to me..you’ve been driving me crazy all week, you think I’m stupid Hyung!” he looks at him with fire in his eyes. Jin shakes his head “I-I don’t joonie..” he mumbles, his eyes falling to namjoon lips just as he licks them, making jins heart jump.
It was a split second before they crashed each others lips together, teeth clashing and tongues hot against each other. Jin clings to namjoon back, pulling at his clothes, desperately trying to get him closer even though it was impossible.
Namjoons hands were digging into jins hips, holding him flush to his body as he kisses him with so much passion, and jins fingers laced through namjoon long hair, tugging at it as they kiss like it’s the only thing they know how to do.
At some point it got too much and they both pulled away to catch their breath, looking at each others eyes. Jin bites his lip, eyes glazed over “namjoonah...” he looks in the youngers eyes “are we really doing this again..b-because I want this..but not just as friends..” he finally confesses. Namjoon takes a shaky breath, surprised by his hyungs words it takes him a good few seconds to answer “ d-do you really mean what I think you mean Hyung..don’t joke please..I can’t-“ he was cut off by jins lips, kissing his words away “ I’m not joking..I want this, and I want you” he nods, looking at him with softness “ I’ve liked you joon..for far too long, and I can’t really keep it in me anymore..you must know how I feel” Jin whispers, the fire burning in his veins slowly calming down as the conversation gets more real and serious.
Namjoon was speechless, opening his mouth to speak just to close it again. Jin honestly felt a little discouraged, fear creeping into his heart. He wants to run away, but then namjoon finally speaks “I-I like you too Hyung…I have for many years now..I can’t believe you feel the same” he whispers, leaning to rest his forehead against jins, looking into his eyes.
Jin giggles sweetly “god we are both such idiots…how could we be so blind to each others feelings..” he caresses the back of namjoon neck. Joon smiles “It doesn’t matter now Hyung..now that I know this, I’m never letting you go again” he nods, leaning to kiss his lover deeply, both melting into each other, hearts beating fast with the thought of new beginnings.