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paradisus paradoxum

Chapter 7: no 7: world unwaking

Summary:

taemin just hadn’t decided whether he wants to tear the man apart even before his patience for this realm expired, or if he’ll stay inside of the shadows for a while longer, even if it makes him feel like his younger self again.

Notes:

i’m procrastinating my finals for this semester by writing fanfic :D

not much to say otherwise, but i’m baffled by the kind comments you guys leave me. i'm on cloud 10 everytime I read one and it’s just so – IT MAKES ME FEEL ALIVE MWAAAH. i definitely wouldn’t mind critique as well if you have them – after all, i’m not the best author out there and just kinda… do my things. i have a few fanfics in my bookmarks whose author I WISH i could be on the level on. man.

anyway, my other ult bias enters the scene. imagine my shock when hearing they’d debut in a group together lol

as always, half-assed beta read by myself.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

 

someone commented on the last chapter how exactly taeyong's marks look. i'm not the best artist (didn't even sign lol) and used a reference (i can't draw by my own for shit), and the marks are supposed to be silver instead of black, but i worked on THIS even before i started paradisus paradoxum. i left the descriptions of the markings in the fanfic as vague as possible so you could interpret them how you want, and this is MY image of them. however, feel free to change them if you don't like it! 

 


 

he conquers worlds, drives them to ruin without as much as a bat of his eyelashes. fate had not cared for him, so he took matters into his own hands, never regretting the invisible blood that paints them a darker color than his own magic. when screams of agony echo throughout the lands, desperation at its rawest form tearing earth, rivers and mountains apart, he welcomes them with open arms, invites them to a peaceful slumber. never did he regret a single action in his live, and neither will he.

so why – why does taemin hide in his shadows, too much of a coward to do something as simple as revealing himself when he’s used to feeling worlds crumble beneath his fingertips?

in the forest, he had merely wanted to chase them out. the two men – one beast, one inhuman, as far as he was concerned – were being too loud, making the shadows under watchful trees curl in unpleasant waves, enough to trigger taemin’s attention where he had been wandering elysion. taemin does not kill mindlessly when it’s not the realm’s time. quite the opposite, actually. people whom he blesses with his presence always whisper when he passes, but are never silent enough for his magic to carry the words to him.

a touch of epiphany, hints of astonishment, wondering. desire. always longing, always watching, but never able to touch. despite all that – taemin is a gentleman when he’s in the open, holding doors for blushing, old ladies, smiling at little children when they accidentally bump into him and do not care to apologize. he always has to keep his shadows from devouring them afterwards, but it’s just a testament to his self-control as much as it is a mocking attempt at showing mercy.

only when taemin is getting increasingly bored, when the worlds loose their unfamiliar touch and there’s nothing left for him to explore does his smile turn into one last, icy and horrendous picture, the magic he keeps under check bursting free, encircling each and everything and swallowing until there is no more.

but earth is still a century or two away from that because taemin manages to find so many, delightful little things, so he’s nothing but a gentleman when he let’s the two of them go. taemin did not spare the beast a second glance, but as he had watched their retreating forms running towards the edges of a city he knows to be aeterna, he did not expect having to consciously reel his shadows back when they started to chase after them again. after him.

taemin didn’t get a good look at either aside from their general silhouettes, but he found that his shadows had already familiarized themselves with the one who had been riding on the beast's back.

parts of him were – still are – unusually conflicted. annoyed. something taemin never is because he’s much more self-aware than any other, ignorant being and knows how to dissect the few, prominent emotions when they surface within him. but his magic acting on its own hasn’t happened since he himself had conquered it, forcing it into submission, and the fact that he has lost control over them (even for the shortest amount of time) displeased him to unimaginable lengths.

however, beneath all that he also sees a spark of interest igniting. and because taemin is so unlike the feeble, superficial men on earth that try to hide their desire behind actions in hopes of getting rid of their self-inflicted guilt, he indulges and lets his shadows lead him.

what had initially been planned as a small digression to get behind the reason why his shadows had been acting up resulted in another. and another, until taemin suddenly found himself as one of the customers of the inhuman himself, casually browsing through the display as if he hadn’t already familiarized himself with the collection.

the act of putting on the skin of another to get up-close, personal glimpses of the object of his current fascination had become almost a routine for him, and this… secretiveness gets under his skin more than he likes to admit. he does so anyway, because anything else would be the same ignorance he resents people for.

because taemin thrives off of being watched, to let everyone see that no, it’s not just their imagination – they are inferior to him. surely does he spend most of his time outside of the light, but that’s a conscious choice of his and when he steps into the world, taemin doesn’t need to turn his head to feel all kinds of eyes on him, hungry for each crumble taemin allows, because that's all they'll ever get in their pathetic lives.

so yes, it’s almost unbecoming of him to hide from the man he wants to be seen from for so long, and the worst thing is that for all the self-perceptiveness taemin prides himself for having, he can’t seem to figure a proper reason out as to why he doesn’t forfeit his disguise.

there was furry building inside of him when taemin had realized it for the first time, unfamiliar and reserved for when he was younger, less experienced. but it also mixed with dejected yearning, and just because taemin doesn’t know the reason for his behavior, doesn’t mean he can’t act on them.

taemin just hadn’t decided whether he wants to tear the man apart even before his patience for this realm expired, or if he’ll stay inside of the shadows for a while longer, even if it makes him feel like his younger self again.

he naturally settled for both – why do people even go through the hassle to decide when it’s in their ability not to? - and postponed his need to watch the man bleed under him in favor of observing him a bit more.

so taemin continues following him around, moving from shadow to shadow when the blue eyed male leaves his house, and cloaking himself in his magic, shifting his entire appearance into something else when the other ventures into more open, wide spaces where the lights are too bright and the darkness doesn’t reach as much.

he learns his name – taeyong, spoken and stuttered hastily in a brief conversation between said man and a blushing, orange eyed kitsune. it comes hand in hand with the discovery that taeyong is the keeper of a magic shop in aeterna. judging by the way the blue haired male hesitates when greeting neighbors, his smile a second too late when people confront him in the open, taeyong doesn’t appear to have been here for too long.

it fills taemin with some weird sense of satisfaction, knowing he didn’t miss much of his presence, but taemin also does not care to evaluate that.

in the following day, he discovers that taeyong lives in a humble attic just above his shop, connected by a set of small, rather unsafe looking stairs ascending from a small storage room you could access when going behind the counter. taemin expected it to be stuffed to the brim with personal, little gimmicks and things that each hold a personal connection with the blue haired man given by how his shop looks, but to his surprise, the attic lacks any, distinctive feeling of personality, harboring the most basic colors and wooden furniture.

the only thing that comes close to even remotely expressing some sort of emotional attachment to his home is the non-magical turtle taeyong keeps inside of a well-kept tank on top of his nightstand. the shop owner feeds, pets and coos at it so much that taemin had begun developing a sort of grudge whenever his eyes laid their sight upon those animals in the wild, not feeling particularly sorry when ending those creature's life.

back to the matter at hand – for someone harboring so much useless love and affection towards an insignificant, lower life form, the rest of the attic felt unusually empty, something taemin will get to the bottom of as well.

and taeyong continues keeping him on his toes, keeps surprising him in the most unsuspecting ways.

when food falls from his plate for the first time, taemin expectes him to immediately throw it away, seeing as taeyong has the tendency to clean his attic two to three times in a row just because he forgets to stop. even the shop itself, despite the items being all over the place (and even then it’s some sort of wild, structured mess), are never victim to the slightest layer of dust. additionally to that, taeyong is paying a lot of attention to his hygiene, washing hands more vigorously than the average man and showering for a long, long time ( t aemin likes to indulge himself, but to contrary belief he does not look, even if it is rather tempting).

but taeyong just blinks at the mixture of mashed potatoes and vegetables on his fork, blowing at it once before shrugging and sticking it into his mouth. taemin, in fact, does not nearly falls from his chair on the opposite side of the table when he sees that.

when rude customers demand refund for things that they broke themselves out of sheer incapability (or can’t use out of sheer stupidity), instead of growing annoyed or angry or clawing their insides out taeyong does that bright smile of his, as if a favorite customer just promised to give him a life-time supply of candy (which, taemin found, taeyong absolutely adores).

and while giving their money back, taemin can’t even detect any sense of hidden malice in those pretty eyes of his, no carefully, composed wrath kept aside for later opportunities.

at some point, taemin grows accustomed to the happy, albeit shy façade of the shopkeeper when guests need help with their selection or purchase overall, so he is caught off-guard once again when taeyong doesn’t sent a black haired, nervous looking boy his usual smile but rather a smirk, the duration of the boy’s stay spent prowling through the small isles of his shop, not unlike a feline predator.

he does that occasionally – not too often, but always with the same customers, as taemin notes. after growing used to the sudden personality switch taeyong seems to have in a rather inconsistent manner, taemin finds entertainment in watching his painfully polite and bubbly side changing into that of a self-assured, undaunted one.

taemin craves to know things, and taeyong is a box of surprises he can’t see the bottom of.

it’s an itch he wants to scratch as much as he wants to rip it out entirely, but the male has millennia of experience, is more comfortable in his body than any other – so gradually, taemin evolves from feeling annoyed, frustrated with himself when his breath gets caught in his lungs whenever taeyong goes against all of his expectations yet again, to becoming rather fond of the unusual sensation.

sometimes, it seems like taeyong knows he’s being watched for every single, little detail he slips. he almost always manages to find some kind of loophole through all the calculations, alternatives and opposite scenarios taemin comes up with when confronted with an unfamiliar situation he does not know taeyong’s reaction for. otherwise than that, taeyong shows no sign of noticing, and taemin thinks he would have commented at the figure casually splayed across the shop’s counter already if that were the case.

and sometimes, taemin also asks himself how taeyong will react if he were to reveal the fact that he knows more about the blue haired male than any stranger should.

it’s one of his more entertaining thoughts, taeyong all flushed in front of him, not able to contain his agitation when hearing taemin’s words, and chagrin would paint his cheeks a tantalizing red that wouldn’t quite subdue within the next minutes he’d spend fruitlessly pressing taemin for answers for his behavior.

but taemin also knows that what he expects is most often than not different than what taeyong actually does. would he greet him with a smile, then? happy to find out who found him important, interesting enough to follow around more than what’s commonly accepted?

that thought ignites even more of a tingle within taemin than the previous one, and this time he doesn’t uproot it, lets it settle into his cold form, fascinated when the bud emits the faintest of light that does not chase his own shadows away.

 


 

taemin continues watching, and naturally, he gets to know the people taeyong interacts with as well.

despite being newer (although it settles in quite nicely), the shop already has several, regular costumers. an old man that keeps claiming taeyong’s soils make the even most difficult plants grow spectacularly, a pair of gnomes that stop by every monday to purchase a new, magical puzzle to figure out, sometimes coming twice a week when they manage to solve it particularly early. there’s also a charming woman, eyes and smiles as bright as her name when she comes into the shop each wednesday and sunday to purchase special flasks that would keep her voice’s songs contained.

taemin also sees chanyeol coming through the door in a bit more irregular intervals. he brings an old, worn journal with him each time, and there is always a weird mix of hesitation and confidence in the depths of the phoenix’ eyes when they land on taeyong’s comically smaller form.

the fifth time chanyeol visits, taemin notices that he doesn’t clutch the journal to his chest anymore, gone from his person. the tension in his shoulders seem to have been reduced as well, and his overall, relaxed demeanor is quite an unusual sight for the shifter. taemin is curious to know what he’d find inside of the worn cover, and whether it is still in chanyeol’s possession.

taemin knows the phoenix still sees ashes burrying entire landscapes when sleep takes over, but it remains only for chanyeol to know if perhaps the sky changed from an angry, flaming red to a softer, dark orange.

before, taemin envisioned that he would be the one to finally put chanyeol to peace with an endless, dreamless sleep, but it seems like taeyong is beating him to it in an entirely different way.

a more frequent customer is the kitsune, the same one whom he’d gotten taeyong’s name from. ten (for some reason, taeyong calls him an entirely different name – but that’s a long one and taemin is not interested) is a pretty, little thing, nimble on his toes whenever taemin sees him walking towards the doors of taeyong’s shop, but always growing remarkably clumsy and so, so predictable when inside. it would serve as a definite source of entertainment to see the usually so noble, kept-together, witty man stumble over every second sentence, if not for the fact that ten blushes and gestures so obviously in a way that it's painful to watch, even for taemin's sadistic nature.

as much as the secondhand embarrassment wants to make him avert his eyes, taemin is rather gleeful to see taeyong not commenting on most of the kitsune’s advances. just like with that warlock, he occasionally does slips into his prying, cocky personality that flirts back instead of shyly batting his eyelashes at more or less direct compliments, but it’s always a mixture of seriousness and playfulness that seems to make it hard for the kitsune to properly react to anything taeyong does or say.

and if he thinks ten is bad – taemin wasn’t prepared when he chose to pay proper attention to the warlock, noticing he is quite the regular patron as well.

mark is already skittish when watching the sign dangling above the entrance, throat visibly gulping a few times before the black haired male goes inside, but he changes from skittish to absolutely helpless and hopeless within record time that it still manages to fascinate taemin as if it was his first time watching mark.

taemin very rarely feels enough empathy to go as far as feeling sorry for others, but mark might actually come close with the way the young warlock has to avert his eyes with blushing cheeks from taeyong each time the other does so much as look at him.

mark buys a lot as well.

taemin knows his line of work needs to have a rather steady supply of all kinds of ingredients for curses, counter-curses, potions and the like, but he really does not know how big the warlock’s home storage must be with the rate mark keeps and keeps buying from taeyong. the only thing that manages to impress taemin just a tad more is the fact that the blue haired male is actually able to keep up with him.

mark is by far the most frequent customer, going every third, sometimes even second day to buy things as an excuse to see the shopkeeper, and taemin thinks taeyong might just be able to pay the rent and other living expanses simply through mark alone this month.

there are more patrons, but they don’t interest him as much as the others, but a one-time encounter had surprised taemin and is also, regrettably, still sticking with him.

taemin had sensed him while he spent his time in taeyong’s bed, reading through an interesting, herbal guide he bought disguised as a vampire fledgling just the day prior. the enormous pressure of magic caught taemin off-guard for the briefest moment, but he relaxed soon enough when max was gone within the next minute.

it had either been a short, practical visit out of necessity, or a short indulgence on curiosity and then deciding it wasn’t worth much of his time. either way, he didn’t appear again, and taemin is the last person to complain about that, mainly because max and yunho are one of the few people that are able to rival him in terms of power. their possessiveness when finding shiny, new toys is also rather irksome at times. taemin can deal with the helpless customers, but if those two sink their claws into taeyong? now, that is an entirely different matter.

taemin also saw kai – jongin, once. he had been walking in his human form (quite an unusual sight for him, seeing as he preferred the skin of his other side), and with the way he was walking by the shop, taemin thought he would enter. had he been the beast taemin chased out alongside with taeyong? 

jongin deterred in the last second though, turning and simply walking back into the direction he came from, and taemin hadn’t followed because kai doesn’t like when he does that in addition to seemingly being the only person in this realm able to tell taemin from the shadows apart.

kai is also one of the few beings worthy enough to hold the status as his friend, so naturally, taemin had been just a bit more intrigued afterwards and made a note to ask him about it when they’d meet again.

there will be an opportunity for that soon enough without actually having to approach the wolf directly.

it’s been something taemin himself is looking forward to – aeterna’s skyfall, a festival that honors the light of the stars and the respective usage of astral magic. something taemin usually doesn’t dwell in, but makes an exception for.

he had already attended twice, but taemin found that the second time (despite possessing the same, general structure), differed so greatly from his first experience that he had made up his mind of attending a third time just shortly after his second visit.

so many creatures, people and beasts would come, especially now, and it’s always a delight to see all kinds of different manifestation of magic and its users. taemin is especially looking forward to the shower of light aeterna always keeps as a climax for the final, third day.

he knows kai will come together with his pack (as they always do), and since skyfall will take place in less than a week, taemin can converse with him and possibly use that chance to confront taeyong without his shadows because he… feels like it would be the best opportunity.

there’s another thing to look forward to – taemin knows, had firsthand seen that taeyong will participate himself in the performance this year despite being relatively new. the blue haired shopkeeper meets up regularly with ten and other kitsunes from the nakamoto clan once a week to coordinate their performance.

taemin recalls having felt a distance sense of relief upon noticing that ten keeps himself a lot more composed when there are more people than just taeyong present, his red ears nearly gone when speaking with said person.

they go over their roles in their meeting, evaluating the theoretical aspect in each step of their script and discussing how they will coordinate their illusion magic with each other and so on. they do actual practice as well in one of the town halls, but taeyong never participates, no matter how much the others bug him about it. taemin wants to scoff at their impatience (and ignorance), how they can’t seem to comprehend that taeyong will show what he’s hiding behind that slightly bashful smile of his. taemin know's that it will probably put their illusion magic to shame.

in those meetings, taemin also discovers that he’s friends with one of the nakamoto kitsunes. taeyong talks with yuta more freely than taemin recalls him talking to any other person, even with mark whom he seems to nurture a growing soft spot for, but it’s always in a light-hearted, warm way, occasional jabs and jokes placed in between. overall it projects a trusting relationship that speaks of past interactions, and he wonders in what time (and for how long) taeyong had been in aeterna before. 

there is no desire for more in yuta’s eyes as he watches taeyong exposing the skin of his throat when the blue haired male tilts his head back to laugh, and taemin finds it to be a pleasant observation – taeyong is objectively beautiful, gaining the attention of many when he does something as simple as petting a familiar of a witch in the middle of an ally, but yuta appreciates him for the layers beneath his outer appearance.

as taemin leans against the wall, watching how the moons make the marks on the blue haired male’s sleeping form glow, he remembers taeyong inviting yuta over for a round of tea in his attic after half a day of practice, and the horrific expression that took over his face when he saw the kitsune stealing the last pieces of candy taeyong had kept hidden from the world’s (but apparently not yuta’s) view.

he remembers smiling at the scene himself, then freezing when he noticed the unnatural stretch of muscle on his own face, and then freezing even more when he found that he didn’t mind it nearly as much as he would have thought.

 

maybe…

 

just maybe...

 

taeyong would not meet ruin.

Notes:

my finger slipped and taemin is some kind of lowkey creep.

not that he's really aware of his stalking habit, seeing as it's kinda natural for him and he think it's normal to pursue knowledge that interests him. not that i can really justify it though HA

also, don't be too confused about jongin and kai! he's kai in his wolf form, and jongin in his human form. taemin (and others) usually refer to him in general as kai and only as jongin when talking specifically about his hooman version since he prefers his beast nature (although i do think jongin suits him better, but this way it makes a bit more sense with his stage persona yada yada)

next chapter will finally be in taeyong's pov (finallyyyy). i do plan on putting some healthy, totally self indulgent fan service (please don't shame me) in the following chapter(s , don’t know how long the skyfall ‘arc’ will stretch) since i'm deprived of love and ship people excessively as a consequence cauz of that. in case you missed the link to how i imagine taeyong's marks:

https://twitter.com/SenseiNatasha/status/1277230948011126784

(i legit revived a dead, never used account just to have a link since the insert image thing doesn't really work for me?

i'm also writing a questionable, explicit one-shot for my recent favorite pairing akechi and akira.
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i should really study.