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Language:
English
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Published:
2019-08-30
Completed:
2023-07-23
Words:
75,126
Chapters:
132/132
Comments:
12,068
Kudos:
4,966
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769
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Grandmaster of Meme-onic Cultivation

Chapter 132: The Final Clam

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

LAN JINGYI: Wow what’s with all these clams?

LAN WANGJI: !

           [LAN WANGJI has left WEDDING OF THE CENTURY]

WEI WUXIAN: *sniff* my husband is so cute look at him go
WEI WUXIAN: lick all those clams go you wonderful man *sniff*

JIANG CHENG: new record: wei wuxian cries over clams

LAN SIZHUI: Oh, I remember you guys talking about clams before! When Hanguang-Jun first picked you up!
LAN SIZHUI: and finding you in the alps??

WEI WUXIAN: Yeah, that’s a party game my and MY HUSBAND are gonna play after the wedding ;)

JIANG CHENG: you know i think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever done for me, taking ur honeymoon to the alps

WEI WUXIAN: we shall start there
WEI WUXIAN: then go to all the major sects and be as loud as possible outside the clan leader’s rooms
WEI WUXIAN: The room beside @LAN QIREN’s quarters we have reserved for the Grand Finale

JIANG CHENG: A-Yao can u disappear me

           [LAN QIREN was renamed FATHER OF WEI WUXIAN]

MENG YAO: me? How could a small and cute person like me do that? @^.^@

           [MENG YAO/whisper]

MENG YAO: it will not be cheap

JIANG CHENG: no price is too high

MENG YAO: now that’s what I like to hear

           [whisper/end]

FATHER OF WEI WUXIAN: AUGH
FATHER OF WEI WUXIAN: AUGH….

LAN XICHEN: I’ve heard less grief stricken wails at a funeral

XUE YANG: It still can be 8)

JIANG CHENG: when we release you to hunt you for sport at the end of this, you better not

JIN ZIXUAN: Is that why he’s in the cage???

WEI WUXIAN: no, he’s in there to dance for our entertainment

XIAO XINGCHEN: Oh, but that’s so mean…

XUE YANG: I want to be in here 8) It acknowledges how dangerous I am

SONG LAN: that’s a bit tame for you.

XUE YANG: and nobody can stop me taking my clothes off

SONG LAN: There is it

LAN XICHEN: Oh, you must be getting hungry! I shall feed you through the bars n.n

SONG LAN: hold your hand out flat or he might take a finger off

XUE YANG: fingies 8))))

NIE MINGJUE: we need all of his fingers

XUE YANG: send someone with expendable fingies then 8(

LAN JINGYI: jin ling get your weak hands over here

JIN LING: You’ll find out how weak they are when you catch them!!!

WEI WUXIAN: Finally, the entertainment has started!

FATHER OF WEI WUXIAN: OOugh…

LAN JINGYI: Oh no, old master Lan has cried so much that I might be able to style his beard into a sharp point it’s so damp
LAN JINGYI: brb

LAN SIZHUI: Do I Full Nelson Jin Ling for trying to attack Jingyi or Jingyi for trying to assault Grandmaster Lan’s beard??

LAN XICHEN: Try to get them both in a half nelson! I believe in you n.n

NIE MINGJUE: The Nie Wrestling has rubbed off on you I see
NIE MINGJUE: Speaking of which
NIE MINGJUE: @MIANMIAN bring your honed commentary skills over here.

           [LAN SIZHUI has left WEDDING OF THE CENTURY]

JIANG YANLI: Well…if it’s any consolation @FATHER OF WEI WUXIAN I’m glad I’m not the only one tearing up… A-Xian married.. you look wonderful…

JIANG CHENG: well, I’m glad we’ve got the yin and yang of the situation sorted out even if it is with crying

WEI WUXIAN: and I’m glad that I’m rolling in cash, with a hot husband, with whom I had the perfect wedding complete with a cage dancer, endless clams, juniors beating the shit out of each other, and everyone I like being here without me getting arrested
WEI WUXIAN: I will probably get arrested later tonight for unrelated reasons but that’s ok

JIANG CHENG: You like Lan Qiren??

WEI WUXIAN: is it Schadenfreude or is it the trickle down affect from liking Lan Zhan so much

           [LAN WANGJI has entered WEDDING OF THE CENTURY]

LAN WANGJI:
(\_/)
(^_^)
(____)0

WEI WUXIAN: guhblughglblgh

LAN XICHEN: he’s so happy… sniff

WEN NING: I’m so happy… sniff

JIANG CHENG: is everyone going to cry???

JIN LING: Sizhui!! Let me beat up Jingyi! Waaaah!

MIAN MIAN: and the crowd goes wild!

JIANG CHENG: add Sizhui to the list

XUE YANG: let me make you cry 8)

JIANG CHENG: dream on bikini man

XUE YANG: I will 8))

FATHER OF WEI WUXIAN: ((AUGH))

LAN JINGYI: wow, how did he get reverb on that one

LAN ZHAN: Husband. I am ready to leave now.

WEI WUXIAN: Take me on your big sword, husband!!

LAN ZHAN: Of course, husband.

           [WEI WUXIAN changed name to HUSBAND OF LAN ZHAN]
           [LAN ZHAN changed name to HUSBAND OF WEI YING]

WEN QING: Well, that’s gonna get confusing

NIE HUAISANG: honestly, I’m already confused D:

NIE MINGJUE: Huaisang! What did I tell you about drinking?

NIE HUAISANG: Sorry bro, I’ll go take some more shots now u-u

NIE MINGJUE: Good! If you can’t read, you can’t be confused!

           [NIE HUAISANG has left WEDDING OF THE CENTURY]

WEN QING: That’s not the worst logic you’ve had

HUSBAND OF LAN ZHAN: Just don’t let Lan Zhan drink! I need him up.

HUSBAND OF WEI YING: I will be up every day for you.

JIANG CHENG: Ok can you go find him in the alps now??

HUSBAND OF LAN ZHAN: LOL

HUSBAND OF WEI YING: Yes.

JIANG CHENG: He smiled. At something I said. I don’t trust it.

HUSBAND OF LAN ZHAN: Goodbye! Give the kids to Wen Ning before you release Xue Yang/start the orgy

JIN ZIXUAN: Huh???

WEN QING: Will do! Have fun! Bye!

HUSBAND OF WEI YING: Farewell.

JIANG YANLI: Goodbye!! Kisses!!

JIANG CHENG: I would say see you when you come to plague the Jiang Clan, but due to a prior arrangement I will be found in an unspecified gutter, presumed dead, by two hot rangers.
JIANG CHENG: So see you never

XIAO XINGCHEN: Goodbye you two! See you soon Jiang Cheng…

SONG LAN: Don’t let us find you two in a bush, now!
SONG LAN: Unless.
SONG LAN: But goodbye for now.

XUE YANG: Byebyeeeee!! Remember, I will come find you and watch you <3

LAN XICHEN: Have fun brother, and farewell! Uncle also says farewell!

FATHER OF WEI WUXIAN: guh…

LAN SIZHUI: See you! Bring me back a sibling! n.n

JIN LING: someone who I can beat up!!

JIANG YANLI: And?

JIN LING: …….goodbyeuncleweiandunclelan

JIN ZIXUAN: Goodbye from me too!

WEN NING: ablrghughghguhhblrgleblugh good bygle I love u sniffblrghul

NIE MINGJUE: BE GONE YE THOTS! (`Д´)ゞHuaisang?

           [NIE HUAISANG entered WEDDING OF THE CENTURY]

NIE HUAISANG: ….shee ya…hic….

MENG YAO: Goodbye! Don’t forget to send us the tax on that gold!

HUSBAND OF LAN ZHAN: I will!

MIANMIAN: byee! Have fun!

MADAM JIN: Goodbye boys! Stay handsome!

JIANG FENGMIAN: See you, son!

MADAM YU: Goodbye, it’s been terrible knowing you, and will be the same in the future.

HUSBAND OF WEI YING: Likewise.

           [HUSBAND OF WEI YING has left WEDDING OF THE CENTURY]
           [HUSBAND OF LAN ZHAN has left WEDDING OF THE CENTURY]

LAN JINGYI: There they go. Stripping into the distance.

WEN QING: You know, somehow it just feels right.
WEN QING: now let’s get our party on

NIE HUAISANG: Yeehaw to that!!

LAN XICHEN: And to all, a good night!

Notes:

And it’s goodbye from this fic too :’) What is it, 3, 4 years of uploading? Ngl, I did get emotional while writing all those goodbyes :’)

I want to say thank you all for coming on this silly adventure with me, I truly never expected this when I was uploading my silly lil meme chapters that came to me in a 'haha what if moment' and turned into what I think is the most iconic fic I have on my account?! ^u^' Truly stupendous. I will be uploading more Untamed stuff in the future, so watch out for that, but I think my posting schedule will be slowing down quite a bit due to a lot of life goals I want to invest a lot of time into. However, I am very active on Tumblr, and I have a Twitter too (although since the whole Elon thing I don't use it often anymore), so feel free to follow me there too! n.n

Leave a comment to let me know what you thought of the chapter, and have an awesome day wherever you may be, whenever you get here :3

Again, thanks so much for being a wonderful community, and I really hope to hear from y'all again in whatever else I make ❤️❤️❤️

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