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Spencer doesn’t know why she does it. It’s not like her, to speak without thinking, but the excuse just bursts from her mouth without stopping to ask for permission from her brain.
“Mrs. Montgomery, it was me that Aria was texting. We’re together.”
Two pairs of shocked eyes immediately fall upon her—Aria’s and her mother’s. Her mother actually regains her composure faster.
“That’s… well, that’s great. I’m happy for you two, and Aria, I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t tell me, honey. I love you no matter what,” she tells her gently, pausing to flash Spencer a warm smile before she leaves the room.
Aria laughs disbelievingly.
“Huh. That really worked.”
Shocker, thinks Spencer, that your parents are more okay with you dating your best friend than your teacher. She says nothing.
************
As complicated as things would normally be when secretly dating your English teacher and pretending to date your best friend as a coverup, A makes them even more complicated, because they can’t stop pretending. Even when they think they’re alone, they know better. A has eyes everywhere.
It’s only been a week, but Aria is spending more time with Spencer, pretending to be her girlfriend, than she has been with Fitz, her actual boyfriend. Keeping up the appearances of a fake relationship, it turns out, is a lot of work. Spencer can’t say she’s complaining, though.
Spencer can’t tell when things begin to shift. It’s gradual (not with a bang, but with a whimper, she thinks bemusedly to herself), so it’s impossible to tell. Reluctant hand holding becomes casual shoulder touching, and then absent-minded hair-stroking. They become almost… domestic. Aria starts cancelling her plans with Fitz to stay over at Spencer’s instead. They share Spencer’s bed (Spencer’s parents are oblivious) and it’s not uncommon for Spencer to wake up with Aria’s little arms wrapped around her. Who knew she’d be the big spoon?
They don’t talk about it, but every time Aria gives her a peck on the lips, or squeezes her hand, or rubs her shoulders, Spencer’s heart aches.
************
Spencer knows she’s too far gone when Aria shoots her a text canceling their plans, and tears prick at her eyes. She stares down at the message.
Got to talk to Ezra tonight. Sry Spence. -Aria
Spencer hates herself for feeling this way. She’d known, from the beginning, what this was. She was Aria’s scapegoat, her line of defense against her parents’ watchful gaze. And the worst part was that she’d put herself in this position to begin with. She’d volunteered, stepped forward, to have her heart ripped out of her chest day after day, even if she hadn’t known it at the time.
It’s a long night. Spencer’s parents are away, Melissa hasn’t been home in days. Hanna and Emily already had plans. It’s not long before Spencer finds herself splayed out on the couch, halfway into a bottle of wine that her parents surely won’t miss. She’s more drunk than she meant to be, woe, poor impulse control, but she has the house to herself, and it’s not like anyone will be checking in on her.
And then the doorbell rings.
Spencer sits up, much too quickly, and sways for a moment before she tries to compose herself enough to answer it. She glances at her phone before she gets up: no texts. On the bright side, it’s probably not A; they haven’t heard from them in a few days.
The doorbell rings again, and Spencer snaps herself out of her train of thought.
“Okay, okay, I’m coming,” she yells.
She opens the door without glancing through the peephole. Less time to overthink things, she figures.
It’s Aria, mascara smeared below her eyes, looking tinier than usual as she shivers in the doorway. Aria comes in before Spencer can even open her mouth.
“We broke up,” Aria says evenly, sounding like she’s trying very hard to keep her voice from breaking. She settles herself on the couch, eyeing the wine still sitting on the table, but doesn’t mention it. She looks up at Spencer expectantly.
Spencer works her jaw silently for a few seconds. A jolt of triumph had shot through her at Aria’s words, but she has to bite her tongue. She has to be there for Aria. This isn’t the time to make things about herself.
“Aria…” she begins gently. She sits down beside Aria, placing a gentle hand on her arm. All of the things she could say are swimming frantically around in her head, how is she supposed to pick the best words right now? How can she help her, when all Aria wants is someone else?
She starts again.
“Aria, I’m… I’m so sorry. He didn’t deserve you. Do you want to stay the night? I’m here for you,” she says, all in a rush. Well, if she couldn’t pick just one thing to say, may as well just say them all.
Aria’s eyes narrow and she leans in closer to Spencer. Spencer’s heart stops—is she really about to go for a kiss? But Aria inhales deeply, then sighs and leans back again.
“You’re drunk, Spence,” she says, matter-of-factly. Spencer nods. The evidence is pretty damning.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have barged in on you like this,” Aria says, and makes like she’s about to leave. Spencer lunges towards her.
“No! I mean, no, don’t go. Aria-” a sudden bolt of courage surges through her. It’s definitely the wine, but Spencer doesn’t care. This might be her last chance.
“If you have to go, just… let me do this first. One last time.”
Spencer closes her eyes and leans in all at once. She hears Aria’s tiny gasp of shock, and then she’s kissing her. It’s not new, they’ve kissed before, but always in public, just little pecks to keep up appearances. This is the first time Spencer has been able to savor it, feel Aria’s soft lips against hers, moving against her-
Wait. Moving against her? Aria is kissing her back? Spencer pulls away all at once in her surprise, looking at Aria with wide eyes. Aria’s face is flushed.
“That’s why Ezra and I broke up,” Aria admits, not looking at Spencer. “I figured out what I really wanted.”
Spencer, once again, is stunned into silence. Her head feels like it’s spinning as she tries to process what Aria just said.
“You- you’re serious? Aria, look at me? You’re serious?”
Aria looks up, straight into Spencer’s eyes, and takes her hand.
“I’m serious, Spencer. I just, I didn’t think there was any way you felt the same.”
The admission strikes Spencer with sudden hilarity, and she bursts out laughing. Aria looks slightly offended.
“Aria, oh my god. I’m- are you kidding me? For months I’ve been pining over you, pretending that our fake relationship was just that—fake, while wishing it was all real. Hating Fitz for being the one to get to love you when really, the whole time, it was me who- Aria. I. I think I’m in love with you.”
Once Spencer starts talking, she can’t stop. It all comes pouring out at once, like a dam bursting open. When she’s done, she can feel the flush creeping up her chest and neck, regret already starting to coil deep in the pit of her stomach, but before she can overthink further, Aria leans in again and throws her arms around her.
“Spence. Shh. I love you too,” Aria confesses shakily, her face buried in Spencer’s hair.
Through the haze of her drunkenness, Spencer finally feels content.
When they go to bed, Aria wraps her arms around Spencer before they fall asleep.