Chapter Text
Castiel absolutely refused to put himself through this agony another time.
That was what he told himself the moment he left Anna’s side and dawdled back home.
That was what he repeated to himself when he briefly stopped at a secondhand bookshop he randomly noticed on his way there.
Or when he waited in line for his order to be ready at the Noodle House near his place.
And when he opened his door and saw the divorce papers laying on the floor where they had fallen from his hands during his panic earlier that day.
No. He would not allow his mind to ponder that possibility, because he knew it was pointless. And he knew what would come of it.
He was still barely holding his shit together. He had no desire to return to square one.
He picked up the papers, left them in a messy pile on his counter, and walked to his living room to eat.
He dropped on his couch.
In front of his mouthwatering bowl of noodles.
And stared blankly into space.
For a very long while.
Lost in his thoughts, battling reasons and emotions, listing pros and cons, he stayed in that fashion well after his noodles turned cold.
Castiel sighed deeply.
He was furious with himself for even considering the idea. He was terrified of what would happen to him if nothing came of it. And terrified if something did come of it.
Feeling his heart racing, he shook his head as he shifted on his seat.
His instincts and his self-preservation side were screaming no.
But he glanced around his apartment. A place that had meant everything to him before. And all he saw was a place conveying a grim desolation.
And then, before he knew what he was doing, he asked himself, deep down, “What would you regret more?”
He shut his eyes tightly, holding his breath. His fingers gently twisting his ring hanging from the chain around his neck.
“Fuck.”
Even if he knew it was unlikely.
Even if he knew his problems wouldn’t be solved by the simple fact that perhaps Dean wasn’t done with him.
Even if he knew the pain it may bring.
He pulled out his phone with shaking hands.
And just as he was about to press on Dean’s number, he froze.
He immediately dropped the phone on the coffee table and sank into his couch with his hands over his face, breathing deeply.
None of it made sense.
Anna’s input.
The divorce papers.
The boots.
The investors.
Henry’s letter.
Dean travelling.
Dean telling him to leave.
Dean fearing he would leave.
Everything was contradictory.
But if what Anna had told him was true, he didn’t want to fuck it up. And he had no idea what to say to him. What to ask. What to keep to himself.
But he had to try something.
After another deep breath, he picked up his phone again and dialed.
But Dean wasn’t the one he called.
He decided, for pragmatic reasons and for his own protection, that he should verify first if some of the information Anna had implied was accurate before calling Dean.
So, he called Sam.
The beginning of the call was awkward. Although Sam was genuinely happy to hear from him, there was an obvious politeness in their exchange.
After a short chitchat when they greeted each other and Sam told him everything was “Okay,” with everyone, Castiel knew he had to quit stalling and make his point.
“So, um, Sam?” he said, clearing his throat. “As you evidently know, there’s a specific reason why I’m calling you right now.”
Sam sighed. “I gathered as much, yes,” he said calmly.
“I—I heard a few things and—I wanted to call to see if it was true, but I didn’t—I thought I should check with you first. So it won’t be—in case it’s not true or…”
“What is it?”
“Well, I—okay, I heard Dean is not at the ranch. That he is in fact travelling in Europe. Is that true?”
“Yeah,” said Sam. “That’s true. He left a couple of weeks ago. He visited a few spots at the beginning of his first week there. Scotland, at first, but he—he’s in Italy now.”
“Italy?”
“Yeah. It was supposed to be a short visit—for business purposes—but he decided to extend his stay.”
Castiel couldn’t help but smile.
“That’s—that’s amazing. I—I can’t believe he managed to do it. I mean, I can. But…”
“I think we know who helped make this possible for Dean,” said Sam in a kind voice.
“I—um, I also wanted to ask,” he said, unable to comment on what Sam had just said, “how is everything at the, um, ranch?”
Sam waited a moment, and then said, “Everything is fine. There’s been a few adjustments, but everyone is pulling through.”
“Like what?”
There was another short pause and Sam said, “Cas? Why do you ask?” Castiel swallowed, weighing on what to say. “Cas?”
“I—I don’t want to upset Dean or myself, but—but I heard—I miss him,” he finally blurted out. “I know I can’t—everything is messed up. And he told me to leave and I can’t come back, but I miss him.”
“Oh, thank fucking God. I—Dean said—whatever, Cas. Please, come back.”
“Dean said what?” he asked, worried.
“Doesn’t matter. You—you ask him. I—there’s a lot of things I want to say, but Dean has the right to say it himself. And if not telling you is gonna force you two to speak, then I’m keeping my mouth shut forever. I—I really, really think you guys should talk. At the very least.”
Castiel swallowed hard. “I want to Sam, but it’s—I don’t know.”
“Cas, I—look, I’m not going to pretend like I know everything that happened, because I don’t. Dean—he shared the main points. Even if it wasn’t difficult to get a general idea of the situation, he’s still Dean. I know he didn’t tell me everything and probably kept a lot of important parts to himself.”
Castiel bit his lips.
“But—” continued Sam, “but however this turned out, Cas, this is not what Dean wanted. The fucking opposite. I’ll tell you that.”
“Why did he file for divorce, then?” Why send him back his stuff? Why the letter? Why tell him to leave? Why?
“He had—he—I—fuck, just talk to him. Please. I know not everything will be magically fixed and—but Dean fucked up. The only reason why I didn’t tell him so is because he was already fucking tormenting himself over it. But please, now that I know you’re—just talk to him.”
“But the ranch. The investors. The—what—what about everything else?”
“Just please talk to him.”
Although Castiel wasn’t completely convinced it would be a good idea, he asked Sam what time he believed would be best to contact Dean.
Unfortunately, Sam had bad news on that front. Reaching Dean was a bit of a hassle, as it turned out. Dean was always the one calling, from an unknown number—and often from a different location—and this, only for a few minutes at a time.
The cell phone and Wi-Fi coverage, he claimed, were pitiful where he stayed. Calls. Texts. Skype. Facetime. All out of the question. It appeared that the surest way to reach Dean would be through email. Dean did not, however, check his inbox on a daily basis, nor had he been overly descriptive or enthusiastic in his replies.
Sam confessed that he was pretty sure Dean was purposely isolating himself.
And Castiel was convinced of it too.
But this complicated everything.
While he was partially relieved he wouldn’t have to debate if he should call him or not, as it seemed impossible to do so, it then left him with two options to reach out to him.
Email, which Castiel thought would be a very bad idea for what he was trying to accomplish.
Or he could, of course, go see Dean himself. In person. In Italy.
Which was an unequivocally perturbing thought. Especially if he couldn’t warn him beforehand. Creating an awkward situation on an international scale was not what Castiel aspired for in the least.
But he felt somewhat encouraged by Sam’s eagerness to let him know every bit of information he had concerning Dean’s whereabouts. He knew the address, how Dean had managed to get there, what the place looked like based on Dean’s (limited) description when he had first arrived, and so on.
So, on the very next day—fed by a moment of folly, no doubt—Castiel found himself on the side of a dirt road in Tuscany. The van he had taken with a small group of tourists to visit the vineyard Dean was staying at had dropped them off at the main building’s entrance to a gorgeous property.
A villa. A vineyard. And a ranch.
The villa was impressive to put it mildly. On his way there, Castiel had imagined a secluded and quiet, yet charming and splendid establishment in the middle of nowhere.
Not so much. The scale of the villa was actually much more impressive than he had anticipated. While it was definitely secluded and quiet, despite the large number of visitors, the vastness of the surroundings was what surprised him. It nearly looked like a castle to him.
But it was gorgeous. The warm yellow brick with pale green windows trim had a rustic touch to it and was embellished by the symmetrically structured front garden.
Facing the entrance, Castiel caught a glimpse of a luxurious pool and terrace on the left side, giving view to the fields.
As much as he wished to explore the premises of the hotel, he knew that he had to direct himself past it, just as Sam had explained.
Knowing he would have had a bit of walking, Castiel had only brought a backpack with him. In case his journey turned out to be a horrible mistake, he had left his suitcase at the hotel in the town nearby where he was residing.
A thought that he attempted to not dwell too much on.
Down the dirt road, he ventured past the stables, just as Sam had told him. At first he was worried he would wind up somewhere he wasn’t supposed to be, or that he would be stopped by the few people he met on the way, but so far every directive from Sam had panned out, and everyone on the road simply saluted him warmly.
After a long walk, during which he got to admire the field of grapevines, as well as large olive trees spaciously surrounding it, he came across another small dirt road leading away from the field and towards a series of large stone pines.
He strolled along this beautiful path, until he reached an open field, and continued past the well, just as instructed by Sam. This place was truly beautiful.
And then he saw it. A bungalow. And the instant Castiel set his eyes on it, he knew why Dean would have loved staying there.
It almost looked like Henry’s old cabin.
Almost.
It was hidden just behind a large tree. And although it wasn’t made of wood, but rather of white and gray stone, it was charming, private and cozy-looking like Henry’s cabin. Nothing extravagant. Simple, but practical. And beautiful.
Right beside the front door, there was a small, round iron table with two chairs underneath a small pergola with vines of honeysuckle over it.
No one appeared to be home.
Castiel could feel his heartbeat increasing as he approached the peaceful property. He knocked on the old wooden door and it swung open.
He glanced around, hoping someone would make themselves known to reassure him that he was in the right place.
He knocked again and said a shy “Hello,” to announce himself for good measure. But no answer.
He pushed the door open further and peeked inside.
The first thing he noticed by the door was a pair of cowboy boots.
Dean’s cowboy boots.
“Dean?”
No answer.
He stepped in slowly, feeling a tad guilty at invading his privacy. Or anyone else’s if he was in the wrong place.
But then he spotted a pie on the kitchen counter.
As he walked towards the table, he suddenly noticed multiple picture frames on the wall to his left.
Curious, Castiel stepped closer.
Photographs of Dean’s grandparents’ wedding. Of Dean and Sam and their parents in front of Baby. Of Henry, Sam, Jessica, Dean and the whole crew dining in one of the big rooms at the ranch.
And then, one of Dean and Castiel. That same picture of them riding the same horse in their youth. The one that Henry had kept.
And it was right next to the one Dean had taken of them at Christmas on their midnight ride.
The photograph of Castiel and Dean, eating fruits, siting on the grass, barely five.
Of them playing with Sam and a kite.
Of Castiel and Dean dancing, wearing their Halloween costumes. A picture Castiel wasn’t even aware existed and had no doubt been taken by someone from the ranch.
Of Castiel smiling at the book market.
Of Castiel driving Baby.
And the one where they were kissing in the garden of the hotel.
They had taken a lot of pictures during their months together. Most of it had just been for fun memories.
But these... These photographs that Dean had handpicked among so many, were their truest moments.
These hadn’t been for a pose.
These had been genuine.
And they were all over Dean’s newly acquired wall.
He turned his attention to the buffet underneath the picture frames and saw every single book Castiel had bought, all neatly lined up. And one was on the kitchen table, a bookmark sticking out of it. The classic he had been reading when he had watched over Dean after their trip to the hospital. An empty cup of tea and a jar of honey rested next to it.
He heard something fall on the ground behind him and turned abruptly.
Dean was standing in the doorway, staring at him in disbelief. A linen bag laid at his feet with apples rolling on the floor.
“Cas?”
They looked at each other, assessing that, yes, they were truly standing in front of each other.
“Cas, I—” He swallowed hard. “I—I can’t believe you’re here.”
Gawking at him with wide eyes, he then stepped towards him, smiling, with his hands lifting up to embrace him.
And the moment Castiel realized what Dean was doing, to Castiel’s own surprise, he found himself taking a step back away from Dean.
Even if he had eagerly awaited their reunion—to see Dean in the flesh—even if he had came all this way to do so, it appeared that Castiel nonetheless still held resentment towards him.
Dean froze and his smile disappeared at his resistance.
“Hello, Dean.”
“Cas, I’m—I—what are you doing here? How—did you know where I was?”
Castiel took a deep breath. “Sam. He told me where to find you.”
“Sam told you? Like he—he called you?”
“No. I called him. I—I needed to talk to you.”
“Is—are you okay?”
Castiel let out a snort. He diverted his eyes away from Dean and swallowed hard. “Am I okay?” he repeated. Clenching his jaw, he turned his eyes towards Dean. Looking at him, standing in front of him, after all this time, after everything, he became aware of how furious he was with Dean. “No, I’m not okay,” he snapped at him.
Dean held his breath, watching him with worry.
“Cas, what—”
“Dean, I—I,” he started saying, but stopped. He was too angry. This was not what he had wanted. This hadn’t been the plan. Coming here and yelling at Dean or stirring up a fight was the last thing he wanted to do. But in that moment, he knew that everything that would come out of his mouth would be with rancor. All he could think of was that Dean had told him to leave and that he had stupidly came back to him.
“I’m—I’m sorry,” he said, shaking, “I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t know why I came here. I—I have to—”
And he started dashing towards the door, not wishing to stand there one more second.
“Cas, wait. Wait! Stop, please.” Dean stepped in front of the doorway blocking him. “Please, don’t go.”
“Dean.”
“No, please. What—you came here for a reason. Please, tell—tell me.”
Castiel shook his head.
“Cas—”
“I’m too mad, Dean! I feel ridiculous. I don’t—this is not a good idea. I need to leave.”
He tried to slither himself between Dean and the entrance, but Dean didn’t budge.
“Dean,” he warned him. He tried to push through, but Dean caught his arm, and the next thing he knew, Dean had his arms wrapped around him tightly.
“Please,” said Dean in a broken voice, with his face buried in his neck. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for what I said. I should have never let you—I should have never fucking said it.”
“But you did! You still fucking said it.” He wrestled himself from Dean’s grasp. “You. When you were the one worried I would—you told me to leave.”
“I know, Cas. You don’t think I regretted it?” Dean leaned back to look him in the eyes, but he held on to him by his wrists to keep him still in front of him. But his grip wasn’t tight. Not at all. “It fucking killed me to say it. But I couldn’t—I—please don’t go. Let me explain.”
Irritated, Castiel briskly freed himself from Dean’s clutch and stepped away from him.
But he didn’t leave. He walked past the table, crossed his arms over his chest and let out a deep sigh.
After a moment of silence, he asked, keeping his back to Dean, “Why Italy? And what—what about the ranch?”
“The ranch is okay. I—I took care of everything.”
Still not looking at him, Castiel said, “Meaning what?”
He heard Dean taking a deep breath. “I, um, the first two weeks after you—after the deadline, I did what I was planning on doing. Quickly. I bought out and got rid of the people that were most urgent.”
“Like Adler.”
“Yeah. And, well, you know who.”
“How? I know you have money, but—that surely didn’t cover everyone.”
“No. It didn’t. I sold a few of my other businesses. Took out loans. I—anyway. I was going through the process. It was long. Exhausting and stressful, but it’s—I had to do it. Not—not just because it needed to be done for the ranch, but—but because it was the only thing I could do if I could ever have a hope of you coming back.”
Castiel shut his eyes and tightened his grip around his chest.
“Cas?”
“What happened?”
“It was going well. Slow, but well. But—but like you said, I still had a lot of people to go through and I was running out of options. I—I was getting desperate. I knew none of this would just go away. I was seriously considering just selling the whole place. I—but after the third week, Mick Davies called me.”
Castiel frowned. He turned around, facing Dean.
Dean had remained in his spot in front of the entrance, as if he was guarding it.
“Mick Davies? Hess changed her mind?”
“No,” said Dean, lowering his eyes. “But Mick, aware of what had happened, he—he wanted to help us. He heard of someone he thought would be a good investor and he told me to check it out. And the tip was good. A widow. It’s a long story, but it worked out. She and her daughter visited the ranch, fell in love with the place and they just stayed.”
“They stayed?”
“Yeah. After what happened—losing her husband, I mean—she—they felt like they wanted a new start. They said they looked around, but nothing really gave them a good vibe.”
“Until the ranch,” said Castiel, almost smiling.
“Yeah. So we reviewed everything and I told her the situation at the ranch, and the next thing I know, buying out everyone else was not a problem. I thought she’d push to co-own the place as a condition, and honestly, I would have been fine with it, but she didn’t. Being a major—generous—investor was enough. And they are helping at the ranch. She’s staying on the land. She’s living in one of the new properties with her daughter. She’s an adult, the daughter, I mean, so I guess after a little while, she’ll get her own place too, but for now, I think those two are good with this arrangement.”
“And they work at the ranch?”
“Yup. Um, Ellen, that’s the mom, she, well, neither of them know very much about ranching, but as you know, it’s possible to learn. But Ellen has good people skills. She used to run a bar before her and her husband lucked out on the money front years ago. And her daughter Jo gets along well with Donna, and she’s been shadowing Rufus since they got there. Granddad would have loved them.”
Castiel nodded, taking in the information. “So, you’ve gotten rid of everyone from Crowley’s list and managed to find an even better alternative to Hess.”
“I got rid of more people than Crowley’s list,” said Dean.
Castiel lifted his eyes, confused.
“I—when I said that I told Ellen of the situation, I didn’t mean just the ranch. I meant our situation. Why I needed to clean house. So after I finished Crowley’s list, I went back to the other investors who were supposedly in our corner, but had threatened me that they’d leave if you stayed when I had asked for their help. And I made them the same deal. That I would buy them out if they still felt the same because I had every intention of bringing you back. I’m pretty much done with working with anyone who is just an intolerant piece of crap.”
Castiel held his breath. “How many did you lose?”
“A lot. But not as many as I had expected. Some came back on their word and stayed, and some even increased their funds. But many left. I didn’t stop with investors. I did the same with some boarders who had been….” He cleared his throat. “But the ranch is okay now. There’s still a lot to be done, and all this is a step back. I will have to find other investors, new contractors and clients—and a bunch of other stuff,” he said, sighing deeply, nearly exhausted at the thought.
But he then stared at Castiel with kind eyes.
“But none of this matters," he added. "That’s details now. Manageable details. And it gave me what I wanted: the ranch is safe. For you. For us. No one can hold anything over our heads anymore. No one has the right to—you can come back.”
And while Castiel was thrilled, relieved and even touched at hearing this statement, he also felt his anger slowly resurging.
“If that’s the case, Dean, what the—why didn’t you tell me? Before I left. Or after. And why,” he snapped, as he opened his bag, retrieving his papers. “Why the fuck did you send me this, then?” He threw the divorce papers on the table. “Why didn’t you call me? Come to see me? Why!”
“I did! I did—I—look, I’m sorry!” He stepped forward, wanting to reach out to him, but stopped himself. He froze on his spot and let out a deep sigh. “I’m so, so fucking sorry for that day, okay? I fucked up. I panicked. They said that—that they would—” Dean shut his mouth, unable to finish his sentence.
“They said what?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“You kicked me out. It does matter. What did they say?”
“Cas.”
Castiel remained silent, but he continued shooting him an angry look.
Dean swallowed. “It wasn’t just investors or—boarders, my own clients started to call too. Most of them simply said they’d leave, but some flat out threatened you. They threatened you. Some got wind of the whole Michael thing, and even though there was no way of proving it, as it’s not true, they threatened to pin the whole thing on you and—it doesn’t matter now, because they’re gone, and all of it was bullshit anyway. But I just—I couldn’t put you through that. Not again. Not if I could help it.”
He ran his hands on his face and took another step towards Castiel.
“That’s why I let—let you go,” he whispered. “But I had every intention of getting you back. Of making sure you could come back.”
“Why didn’t you tell me any of this, Dean?”
“Because I didn’t know how well I’d succeed. I didn’t know if I would! I didn’t want to tell you in case it didn’t work. But I should have. The longer it took me, the harder it got to tell you. I knew I should have told you, but I didn’t want you in the crossfire. I didn’t want to give them one reason to get to you and if you stayed…Once Ellen showed up, that was the first time I actually thought we might be able to get through this. I made sure everything was in order, everyone was on board, so I wouldn’t get any other surprises and then I left for New York.” Dean swallowed. “I knew a call wouldn’t do it. Not after…I didn’t want to chicken out. Fuck, I just wanted to see you anyway.”
Castiel was more confused than anything. “And what happened? You got lost on your way there? I never saw you.”
Dean shook his head and lowered his eyes. “I saw you. With your friend. Boyfriend.”
“What?”
“I saw you with your—I stopped at your place. You weren’t there. I stayed in your building waiting for you to come back, which made me feel like a complete creep, by the way. And you came back with him. You weren’t wearing your wedding ring. It was late and when it was clear he wasn’t leaving…I came back the next morning just in time to see him leave your place.”
Castiel’s heart was racing. “Are you talking about Balthazar?”
“I know you two are close. I always thought—anyway. But even if you were with him—”
Castiel lifted his hand, signaling Dean to stop right there.
“Dean, I—yes, Balthazar is a close friend. A good friend who has been glued to my hip ever since I came back because he was trying to make sure I kept breathing and I hadn’t flung myself off a freaking building or something. I would have never—but—the point is that he’s just a friend.” Castiel took a step closer and pulled his chain from under his shirt, revealing his ring. “The only reason I’m not wearing it is because I nearly lost my damn mind every time I saw it. But I couldn’t part with it. Even if—”
“So you’re not with him?”
“No. I never—of course not. Fuck, Dean. Do you have any idea how I felt after? And I get how it looks from your point of view, but even if that would have been the case, you still could have told me you were there!”
“I didn’t want to ruin your life a second time,” he said.
They observed one another for a long moment, until Dean cautiously stepped closer. Castiel felt Dean’s warm fingers brush his.
“Can you tell me why you’re here, Cas?” he said softly.
“I’m not done asking questions,” Castiel pointed out. But he was not mad anymore.
“You can ask me any question you want. I’ll answer every one of them. But please. Cas. You said you needed to talk to me.”
Castiel swallowed.
“Someone suggested that I should reach out to you. They didn’t say how, but they implied that the circumstances of the ranch had changed.”
“Who? Sam?”
Castiel shook his head. “No. My sister.”
Dean blinked.
“I—I didn’t want to believe it. I didn’t want to let myself believe it. If it wasn’t true I—” he cleared his throat. “Dean, the last month—since I left…it was hell. I was so confused about everything. Just as I thought I was getting better I received the boots and the letter. I didn’t know what the hell to think about it.”
“I sent you those because I thought you were with him. I still wanted you to know how I felt about you. I thought—I was sure you wouldn’t answer my call, so I thought if I sent you that, you would have known I still—that I was still…I thought you’d call. If you still felt the same.”
“Dean, I didn’t know about the situation at the ranch. As far as I knew, nothing about that had changed. I couldn’t figure out if you were trying to tell me you missed me or that you were moving on. Either way, I was really upset. All of it just hit me again. Then, I received the papers and I concluded you were done with me.”
Dean shook his head vehemently. “No, Cas.” He squeezed his hand and reached for his other hand. “I’m not. Not even close.”
“Why the papers, then?” he said with a quivering voice.
“I—I had to. It was our agreement. When you accepted my proposal, you had told me that morning that we had to start the process of terminating the marriage within two months after the deadline.” Castiel’s stomach dropped. “You had given me two months so I’d have time to—anyway, it was your idea. We never discussed what we were going to do if you stayed…but with everything that happened, I had no choice. I still had to honor that.”
Castiel had completely forgotten about that detail. They had discussed it rather quickly on the morning of their wedding and it hadn’t been something he had reflected on ever since. There had been many other—and more pressing—points his mind had focused on.
Assessing his expression, Dean said, “You forgot about it?”
He nodded. “I really thought you were just moving on.”
And Dean pressed his lips against his and gave him a long lingering kiss. And the second it happened, Castiel felt his doubts melt away.
He instinctively eased his hands upwards to Dean’s back, pressing him against himself just like he had grown into the habit of doing.
Dean slowly broke the kiss and rested his forehead against his. “I missed you so much. It was like—Cas, you know I love you, right?”
His heart jumping in his chest, Castiel said, “I love you too, Dean.”
Instant relief spread through Dean’s face and he pressed a kiss at the corner of his mouth.
“And as for missing you,” he said in a low voice to Dean, “I—it was really difficult after. I would be lying if I didn’t say I kind of scared myself. When I thought you—that you didn’t care anymore…”
“Castiel, listen to me,” he whispered. Dean leaned his head backwards a little to look him properly in his eyes. With one of his hands on his cheek and the other holding Castiel’s hand in between their hearts, he said, “Everything I have done since you left was to make sure you could come back to me safely. Everything. Even letting you go in the first place, which pretty much killed me. I was a wreck. I never wanted to let you go. I just wanted to make sure you’d be okay.”
And Castiel believed him.
“I don’t know how it was for you,” he continued, “I’d like to hear about it and I’ll tell you my end if you wish, but I am just so fucking happy you’re here. With me. I want to be with you. And now that I am lucky enough that you’re—I will do whatever I have to do to keep it that way. I’ll beg or—whatever. I am never making that mistake again.”
A faint smile formed itself on Castiel’s face. “I appreciate the idea, and though I believe that would be quite something to witness, I don’t think that’s necessary.”
“I’ll do it.”
“Dean.”
“After being separated…to know how much…Cas.”
And Castiel brushed his lips with a small kiss. “I came here because I missed you, Dean. Even though I feared it might only end badly, I had to see you. Just to be sure. And now that I know why….”
Dean, nearly sobbing, wrapped his arms around him and hugged him tightly. Castiel buried his face in his neck, as he kissed it, smiling.
“Cas, I don’t care where we go. It can be at the ranch. It can be in New York. We can stay here, or go anywhere you’d like. I just want to be with you. That’s all I want.”
“I think we both know where we should be,” he said, smiling. “But we don’t need to rush back home right away, no?”
Dean let out a laugh. “No, we don’t.” They were facing each other again and Dean rested his hand on his chest, smiling brightly. “We don’t even need to decide right away.”
And that is when something occurred to Castiel. “Dean? I’m curious about one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“I know Sam said you left for business, but why did you end up staying here?”
“Oh, that.” He gave him a warm smile, took his hand and said, “Come, I’ll show you.”
Dean directed Castiel towards the entrance and Castiel followed him outside behind the house.
“After the ranch was in the clear,” he started saying, “I—I needed a distraction. I had done it all for you to come back and then it didn’t seem like you would. I had a little too much time on my hands and...” he sighed. “Being on the ranch, without you there, it became—I needed to get out of there. We still needed more investors—and clients. And now that I had lost a big chunk of people who used to do my legwork…it was time I started doing it myself. I looked back through the list Granddad had pulled together last summer and there had been a few names we hadn’t gotten to yet. Normally, I would do this over the phone or via Skype, but given the situation, I thought a face-to-face would drastically increase my chances. I, um, hadn’t been in a hurry to reach out to them at first because they weren’t exactly in our backyard. But after everything, I decided I should try. It felt surreal. But I was okay. I met a lot of interesting people. But it was all business.”
They had reached a shed, hidden beneath large, thick trees, and Dean stopped in front of it.
“I was missing the ranch, but I was enjoying myself. So I started visiting other ranches around. And then I found this place. It’s massive. And gorgeous,” he said, gesturing behind them.
“Part ranch and part vineyard, I heard,” said Castiel.
“It is,” he said, smiling. “The property was impressive and the staff was great, so I decided to stick around a few days just to take it in. I felt good about this place. The food was delicious. All of it. And it always seemed to have a little something to it that I couldn’t put my finger on. On the third day, I think, I was eating a snack. Super simple: a piece of bread with ricotta and honey. I wanted to die. I couldn’t believe how something that simple could be so delicious. When I told them how much I enjoyed their food, they said it must be because of the honey. They include it in all their meals. As it’s their honey.”
Castiel frowned. Dean opened the door and nodded at Castiel to go in. The shed consisted of five long rows of shelves, filled from top to bottom with small, dark yellow jars. Castiel turned to Dean, questioningly.
“They said I could visit their apiary on the other side of their property, with a guide of course,” continued Dean, guiding him through one of the aisles. “I know nothing about bees or honey, but I was fascinated by it. Their beekeeper spoke very good English, so I asked if there was any way I could extend my stay for a month in order to learn as much as I could about it. I knew it was a long shot and extremely unusual, so I was ready to pay them, but we came to a deal. It just happened that they were in dire need of a stableman. The next thing I know, I’m renting this little bungalow on the property—at a massive bargain price—and I’m shadowing this guy when I can, and all I have to do is help them during peak time in the morning and afternoon at the stables.”
He picked up a jar and gave it to Castiel, who was stunned at his story.
“Obviously, even after a month, I still won’t know enough to carry this on my own, but I thought if we find someone back home with the proper expertise, that could be something new and interesting to add at the ranch. I told Donna about it and she eagerly took it upon herself to find out what and who we need to set this up.”
“Dean, that’s—that’s—this is amazing.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes. That’s fantastic. I—I can’t wait to see it.” He lifted his eyes, biting his lips. “Can I see it?”
“Of course. I had a feeling you’d be interested in it.”
“I am. Definitely.”
“Good. Because we will most likely need help at the ranch with that. There’s just one thing though,” said Dean, after putting back the jar and slowly heading towards the door.
“What?”
“I’ve been trying to think of a name. If we make honey and a bunch of other stuff, we will need a brand name for it. Any ideas?”
“You know me and names,” Castiel said. “Other than Winchester’s Honey? What do you have so far?”
They exited the shed and after Dean locked the door, he said, laughing, “Castiel’s Angelic Honey.”
“That is such a lie,” said Castiel, chuckling. “You were not going to name it that.”
“I swear I was.” Dean was desperately trying to keep on a serious face, as they continued walking towards the bungalow. “You have a go, then.”
Castiel squinted at him for a moment and said, “Dean’s Wayward Beeswax.”
They burst into laughter.
“What is that supposed to mean?” he said, grinning.
“I was trying to use another word than ‘wild.’ You don’t like it?”
“I think we’ll need to work on it.”
They had reached the front door again, but as Dean was about to step in, he came to a halt and turned towards Castiel.
“What is it?”
“I forgot to ask,” said Dean. “Where are you staying? How—how long?”
“Um, I booked a room for a couple of days in town. I—I wasn’t sure if—I didn’t want to be presumptuous. Or jinx it.”
“We’ll get your stuff and bring it here?” said Dean, beaming at him.
Castiel nodded, smiling at the prospect of staying with him in this place.
“Okay.” Dean avidly stepped into the house and Castiel followed him. “I think we can probably borrow one the cars. I just need to ask. They allowed it a few times when I needed to go in town. If not, then we can just catch one of the vans that—”
“Dean?” Castiel stopped him, laughing. He reached for his hand. “Do we absolutely have to go this moment? The trip will take us a few hours altogether. I—can we wait until tomorrow? I just really want to stay here with you right now.”
“I have no problem with that,” said Dean, resting a hand on his waist. “But, um, you won’t need anything?”
“For the night, you mean?”
Dean nodded, holding down a grin.
Castiel took a moment to observe him, assessing his delightful state. “I confess I might need to borrow a few things.”
“Such as?”
“Usual toiletry stuff.”
“I can help you with that. I’m all about sharing.”
“How kind and generous,” said Castiel, sliding one hand over his shoulder.
“I try.” Dean pulled lightly on his shirt. “What else? A pair of pajamas?”
Castiel smiled.
“Hmm, you know what?” said Dean. “I think I’m all out of those.”
“Are you, now?”
“I’m afraid so. Even for me.”
“That’s very unfortunate.”
“I know. But I think they are grossly overrated.”
“That, I agree with.”
And Dean leaned in to kiss him.
But Castiel stopped him, smiling.
“Before that, I have a few questions for you still,” he said, pointing at his chest, mockingly severe.
“All ears,” he said, licking his lips.
“Well, I couldn’t help but admire your wall of pictures. And I have noticed that you brought my books along with you.”
Dean groaned and dropped his head, embarrassed.
“How exactly did this all happen?”
“I had most of the picture stored on my phone. It wasn’t that difficult to print them. Once I knew I’d stay for a while, I wanted to make the place feel a bit homey.”
“And the books?” said Castiel.
“I had brought a few along with me. Sam sent me the rest. They just arrived a couple of days ago.”
Castiel nodded and added, “I would very much so like to know what you thought of them.”
“I haven’t read much of those. I—I’m not like you. Your speed reading skills are astonishing.”
“I still want to know. Which one did you read?”
“I may have read some of the fun ones. The one about the bank robber.”
“Did you? That’s interesting because I haven’t read that one yet.”
“You didn’t?” asked Dean, shocked.
“Nope. I’d very much like to hear about it.”
Dean chuckled. “Well, um, it reminded me of an old movie I had seen when—” Dean had started saying, but he then tilted his head and bit his lips. He put his hands behind his back, and adopting a smug expression on his face, he said, “I would like to tell you, but I think I should pace myself with this information.”
Amused, Castiel said, “But you agreed to tell me anything I asked of you.”
“Oh, I will. Scouts honor. But I think we are slowly delving into a particular subject that I think would be more suited to be shared under a specific occasion. Like at a certain time of day—night. As per our rule.”
Castiel leaned his head back, understanding what Dean was getting at. “I see,” he said, very as a matter of fact.
“We haven’t done that in a while. And I’m—I’m looking forward to it.”
“Me too,” said Castiel. “But it’s not night yet.”
“Nope.”
“I guess we’ll have to find something to do until then.”
“I guess so.”
“Any suggestions?”
“I have many ideas. You?”
“Do you have any grapes lying around?”
Dean smiled and said, “I’ve been somewhat deprived.”
“At a vineyard?”
“Yup. Imagine that.”
“That’s not fair. I think we need to fix that.”
He leaned in and kissed Dean gently, as he ran his fingertips softly on his neck.
“You think we can pull this off? Like…everything?”
And with his heart full, feeling giddy, Dean said, “With you, Cas, yes. Anything. Together, we can.”
“Together.”
THE END