Work Text:
Due to his previous body's health issues, Shen Qingqiu has never been drunk. Even after transmigrating into a perfectly healthy body with the constitution of an Immortal Cultivator, he had shied away from too much drink, pretending to sip at the bowls of wine poured during various feasts and holidays and other work in the local brothels as he gathered information for his peak. It wasn't that he didn't want to. Oh, no, he did. It was that the one time he did get a little...tipsy, he ended up giggling behind his fan for five minutes before fleeing the feast with as much dignity that he could muster.
(He couldn't look any of the other peak lords in the face for a month afterwards. He Very Firmly Ignored Yue Qingyuan's long looks in his direction, as well as Liu Qingge's brooding stare. It Never Happened. Nope. Did not. Denial is his friend.)
But, after saving the world, gaining a husband and dying (multiple!) times, Shen Qingqiu decided it was Time. And by every god in existence he was going to Get Drunk. Because he was worth it . And if Shang Qinghua decided to join him ( and gift him a set of soft, comfy pajama bottoms that even had the little string waist tie thing? And a Henley in green ? Because what the actual fuck was this heatwave? Well. Shang Qinghua was his Airplane-bro. They could get drunk together!)
(Shen Qingqiu was also Very Firmly Ignoring the fact that both their lord husbands had been gone for over two weeks due to a pesky incursion of the southern demon tribes who would just. Not. Submit. Shen Qingqiu was fine . He was not pining. Or lonely. Or anything. He just. Decided it was the perfect time to let loose a little. With his Airplane-bro. Who could blame him?)
“Fuck I miss the internet.”
“Shut up ,” Shen Qingqiu sighed and draped an arm over his eyes. “Do you know how many times I dreamed about the ending to all my favorite shows? I'll never know how they ended up.”
“Dude, we could write the endings!”
“And curse some more people into a twisted world where the protagonist fucks their way to a happily ever after?”
“So mean,” there was rustling on the bed beside him. Shen Qingqiu dropped his arm to see Shang Qinghua roll over onto his stomach, chin propped up on his hands. “I did not write this stupid heatwave bullshit, though. The peaks were always supposed to have perfect weather.”
“Even for Dramatic Effect?”
Shang Qinghua paused, brows scrunching together. “Well...”
Shen Qingqiu bopped him on the head with his fan. “You totally did.”
“I did not!”
“Yes, you did! It was that one chapter with the – with the –,” Shen Qingqiu gestured vaguely at his chest. Which. Honestly he wasn't even sure what that meant. “Demon and the plant thing.”
“Oh,” Shang Qinghua's eyes went wide. “ That heatwave.”
“Yeah.”
“My bad.”
“Get me another drink.”
The bed shifted as Shang Qinghua rolled again, a soft thump signaling that he'd fallen off. Again . Really, how had he even become a peak lord? There was a clinking of glass and the sound of splashing – his Airplane-bro did come through with the best drinks, though. Shen Qingqiu made a face at the heat, one hand pulling his hair to one side and twisting it up and off his skin. It was all well and good for the immortal Shen Qingqiu to glide through the peaks, dressed in his robes with his hair pulled back into intricate crowns dotted with jade – but really, in this heat? With this long hair?
Fuck no. It was going up. All the way up. He did Not Care.
By the time Shang Qinghua wobbled his way back onto the bed, Shen Qingqiu had found several long hair sticks and had twisted his hair into a secure bun at the back of his head. He grabbed one of the tall glasses before Shang Qinghua could drop it and took a long, cool drink. The fact that it was purple and tasted like candy was just a bonus. This heat was ridiculous.
“Do me, do me too,” Shang Qinghua whined as he came perilously close to toppling over in front of Shen Qingqiu.
“Don't ever say that again.”
“Dude, I meant my hair. Is someone horny?”
“Don't ever say that again, either.”
“I'm horny.”
“Oh, for fucks sake, stop talking and I'll do your hair.”
“ Yes .”
It was kind of nice to have someone to just sit with he mused as he found more of his hair ornaments that would work for Shang Qinghua. If Luo Binghe had been here...
Shen Qingqiu stopped and took another long, long drink.
Shang Qinghua's drink was a pale blue. Airplane-bro was doing more staring at the liquid than drinking it, though. Shen Qingqiu twisted his friend's hair up and off his neck, making the man yelp only once as he got the sticks into place.
“Dude, stop trying to scalp me.”
“I'm not! You're just wiggling.”
“I am not.”
“Drink your damn ice demon drink and shut up.”
“You shut up.”
Shen Qingqiu tapped the last stick into place and sighed, listing over to fall into a slump against the gathered pillows. They had made the bed their nest, pulling all the pillows out of storage and kicking most of the blankets to the ground. The long afternoon sunlight cast shadows from the bamboo forest over the house, leaving it only slightly cooler than the humid outside air.
“Mobei-jun gets this funny expression on his face when I have more than one glass of wine,” Shang Qinghua said out of the blue. He was slumped on the edge of the bed, hands cradled around the drink. “I'm not sure if he like – like approves or whatever? So I don't drink more. I never did drink a lot. Except for that one time. I think I wrote like fifty chapters blind drunk. That was fucking weird. I had to cut so much out.”
“Do you remember what you wrote?”
“Man, it was some self pitying crap about true love and – I don't want to talk about it.”
“I've never seen Luo Binghe drink,” Shen Qingqiu finished off his own drink and leaned back, one foot nudging his friend. “Oh, oh, did you ever play that one phone game where the more you drink, like, the more badass your character got?”
“Drink and Brawl?” Shang Qinghua perked up at that, downing half his drink in one go. “Oh my god I loved it so much. I was level 108 before...well. Before. You?”
“I only got to level 101. I got stuck on that stupid – you know the level, with the fire thing? And you had to jump?”
“Oh! Did you pick up the Fireball shots on the path to the final boss guy?”
“Yeah, but I had drank the Midori sours instead for the HP boost.”
“Naw, that was the trick. You needed to down all the Fireball shots so you could get immunity to fire when you faced the final guy.”
“Well, fuck that makes sense.”
“Oh, man, level 107 was my favorite. It was this ice level and you had to keep your internal heat up, so I kept slamming every drink I picked up.”
“Even with the HP penalty that came with that?”
“Yeah, it was awesome. And you got a bonus move if your ABV meter was pegged out.”
“What?”
“Yeah, you never tried it?”
“No.”
“Man it was a little like a special attack bonus, with magic and stuff.”
“Oh, man, special attack combos,” Shen Qingqiu slashed a hand through the air and was not giggling, thank you very much. “I miss my games.”
“I wonder what edition Final Fantasy is up to.”
“Shut up,” Shen Qingqiu nudged Shang Qinghua a little harder with his foot. “Oh, oh hey, didn't you write that one chapter with the magic cavern and like. The magic battle between the two little sisters that –”
“Oh my god, I did. With the swirling blue and red magic shit? And the –”
“The pool at the end? Fuck that was some great imagery.”
“Yeah?” Shang Qinghua puffed up, finishing off his drink. “I like got fucking fanart for it, it was so cool.”
“Yeah?”
“Seriously better than my imagination.”
“Oh, man.”
“Yeah, and I –,” a BOOM shook the house. Shen Qingqiu dove for his friend and got them to the floor. Ice and liquor went everywhere. The wall behind them cracked and every door and window blew open. “What the fuck is that?”
“I don't know.” Shen Qingqiu got to his knees and scrambled for the door. He could hear shouts and screams coming from further down the mountain. In the distance there was a crest of crimson power that crashed against the barriers that surrounded Cang Qiong Mountain peaks. High in the shimmering sky was a sigil that looked rather familiar.
“Shang Qinghua, is that the tribal emblem for those fuckers in the south that challenged Luo Binghe's rule?”
“Yeah, that would be them.”
“Those same fuckers who have kept my husband away for more than two weeks?”
“Yep.”
“Those same fuckers who are now apparently trying to siege my Peak?”
“Yep.”
“Fuck this noise. Where's my sword.”
“Hey, wait –,” a new barrage of screams erupted from closer up the mountain. Shen Qingqiu shared a look with his friend and they both went for their swords. There was no time for robes or shoes – as they were about to exit the bamboo house a wave of fire swept high into the air, making them both duck.
“Peak Lord Shen Qingqiu! Come out, come out wherever you are!” The lead demon was female, dressed in a red leather outfit that looked like something from out of a BDSM porno. “I have come to challenge you! A mere human like you is not worthy of having such a lord as a husband. I will take this peak and gift my lord with your head for our wedding gift!”
“I am going to smack you,” Shen Qingqiu hissed at Shang Qinghua. “Right in the face.”
“Bro, I had no idea this was even still a plot point! And besides, the little sisters weren't supposed to fight, just fuck! And Luo Binghe was supposed to watch and then join in and –”
“It better not be a plot point .”
“Yeah but –”
“Shen Qingqiu! Won't you come out to play? Or are you too scared?” Another rush of fire swept over them, igniting a few drifting leaves.
“Oh, no you didn't,” Shen Qingqiu stalked out of the bamboo house, sword in hand.
“Bro, wait!”
“YOU BETTER NOT SET FIRE TO MY FUCKING FOREST!”
~*~
When the first explosion hits, Liu Qingge is already moving. The demonic energy is hard to miss and when added to the fact that everyone on the peaks knew Shen Qingqiu's demon husband was away (as well as that rat's from An Ding Peak), it wasn't hard to guess that someone or something had decided to target Luo Binghe's soft spot in order to strike a killing blow at the demon. It was one of the many reasons why Liu Qingge had tried to get Shen Qingqiu to come stay at Bai Zhan Peak – and if not that, then to take Yue Qingyuan's invitation instead. But no, both Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua had decided to stay together on Qing Jing Peak, alone and vulnerable, with even the disciples given a few precious days of rest and chased away from the lonely bamboo house and forest.
Liu Qingge was going to take Luo Binghe's head for this. How dare that demon leave his husband behind, unprotected and alone? If Shen Qingqiu had been his husband –
He stops that train of thought right there.
He sees Yue Qingyuan approaching in the distance, both of them speeding to Qing Jing Peak. The demons have broken through the barriers – how had the demons broken through the barriers? – and were converging on the shaded green forest. A gout of demonic flames roared through the air, knocking Liu Qingge from his sword. He rolled to his feet fighting, slashing at the filthy demons who dared to defile such a place. Yue Qingyuan's power swept out next to him, Xuan Su still sheathed, but his secondary blade already gleaming with demon blood. As fast as he cut them down the demons kept multiplying, pouring out from what looked like crimson crystal portals that had grown up from the ground. Liu Qingge dodged a swipe and ended up with a long cut along his arm for his trouble, the demonic flames crackling overhead, turning the very air into a trial to breathe.
They were being overrun. Demons surrounded them, five deep, with no holes in sight. They had to break from this ring – they had to get to – they had to get to –
“STOP SETTING FIRE TO MY FUCKING PEAK!” A blizzard of green swept past them. Howls and screams erupted from the demon horde. Bamboo leaves and what looked like icicles swept past them, whipping their robes and hair along in the gale. There was a reverberating THUMP and it took everything Liu Qingge had to avoid the bodies (and body parts) of demons being blown in every direction.
In the clearing stood Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua, back to back. The two peak lords were in constant movement, one slashing, the other ducking, bamboo leaves and ice pillars at their beck and call. They moved as one unit, always turning, plowing through their demonic enemies with an ease that Liu Qingge had never seen from either peak lord.
Then again, he'd never seen either peak lord look like that before, either.
Gone were the graceful robes and tinkling hair ornaments. Gone was the fan and the long sweep of hair that Liu Qingge wanted to touch and run his rough hands through. Gone, in fact, were most of their clothes, leaving Shen Qingqiu a pale, lean figure in simple pants and a strange shirt that had no sleeves.
Liu Qingge could see Shen Qingqiu's delicate wrists. The flex of muscles as Shen Qingqiu's arms lifted Xiu Ya and struck down five enemies with one swipe. That strange shirt was also form fitting, showing a tapered waist – a tapered waist that...that had a gap of skin...between stomach and where the pants had sagged, showing a jutting curve of – of hips and –
Liu Qingge had to duck or be hit in the head with a severed arm.
“Shen Qingqiu! I will –”
“ Shut the fuck up !” The roar from Qing Jing's lord shook the clearing. Liu Qingge tried not to choke on his tongue. “ I was having a nice day! I was having a goddamn drink! And then you showed up! ”
The demon in strange red leather armor had to dive for cover as Shen Qingqiu went on the attack. “But I –!”
“I! Have had it! Up to HERE!” The rustling roar of the forest behind him was enough warning for Liu Qingge to grab Yue Qingyuan and drag them both to the ground. The female demon wasn't fast enough to evade the hurtling bamboo spears that struck her to the ground in several places. Shen Qingqiu's qi lashed out through the clearing, blowing back the few demons still standing. Liu Qingge looked up to see Shang Qinghua dispatch the last living few with his own qi and what looked like darts made from ice. The An Ding Peak lord had a look on his face that Liu Qingge had never seen before. The scent of blood filled the air as Shen Qingqiu's hand convulsed into a fist and the pinned demon was... shredded to death in front of Liu Qingge's eyes.
He had to swallow hard at the sight. (And if certain parts of his anatomy also twitched at the show of power. Well. He would never admit it. Ever.)
“A-Jiu...” Yue Qingyuan whispered from beneath him. Liu Qingge let up on his hold of the other peak lord, flushing a little when he realized they had their legs tangled and bodies pressed so close together.
“GET OFF MY LAWN!” Shen Qingqiu shouted at the retreating demons as they sprinted for the vanishing crystal portals. “My poor fucking forest! Look at this shit! I can't even. What the fuck.”
Liu Qingge stumbled as he tried to stand. “Ah – Shen Q-Qingqiu –”
“Oh, hey you two!” Shang Qinghua rose from his crouch and waved at them. “Hey, hey look! We had backup!”
“How about these assholes back the fuck up –”
“Bro, chill. Look,” An Ding's strange lord put his hands on Shen Qingqiu and made him turn. That's when Liu Qingge realized that Shen Qingqiu's hair was tied up – in fact both of their hair was tied up in matching buns that looked...rather like what young maidens would do with their hair during the harvest seasons at the Liu estates.
It was rather fetching. And distracting. Because now Liu Qingge could see the long sweep of Shen Qingqiu's neck and how that strange shirt dipped low, showing...showing the delicate wings of collar bones and –
He had to stop looking.
“Qingqiu-shidi,” Yue Qingyuan said as he stood with Liu Qingge's help. “Are you well?”
“Do you see my forest?”
“Ah. Yes?”
“ I am not fucking well .” Qing Jing's peak lord swept out a hand. “Look at this mess! Do you know how long it took me to grow all this? And my house! They cracked my house! How dare!”
“A-Jiu...”
“And our drinks!” That's when Shen Qingqiu wobbled, eyes going wide as he staggered back a step. Liu Qingge dove for him, but an icy portal snarled into existence before he could reach him. A pair of familiar arms swept Shen Qingqiu up, crushing him against Luo Binghe's chest.
Liu Qingge was too late. Again.
Shang Qinghua was also swept up by the ice demon that followed An Ding's peak lord around. Both human cultivators were looking a little worse from wear as the rush of adrenaline started to fade from them both. Liu Qingge could hear the shouts of voices in the distance, disciples from other peaks coming at last.
“Your stupid demon lady who planned that stupid fucking uprising is over there on the lawn. I want her gone ,” Shen Qingqiu said as he pushed back from his husband's arms. “It's bad for the grass.”
“Husband,” came Luo Binghe's deep rumble. Liu Qingge bit back a sneer. Some husband that demon was. “Are you well?”
“I am drunk,” She Qingqiu said with dignity. “And I'm about to go get more drunk. Because this?” He pointed at the ruin of the demon on the lawn. “This shit is not okay .” And then he grabbed Shang Qinghua's hand and hauled them both into the wreckage of his precious bamboo house.
~*~
“Bro, you need to chill.”
“No, I need to find that bottle of liquor.”
“I'm not sure...”
Shen Qingqiu turned and pinned his friend with a glare. Or tried to, rather. “Do you want to face what happens next sober?”
Shang Qinghua blinked at him, turned a long look at the door and the men standing outside and then looked back at him. “I mixed up two pitchers. One of them has to be standing, right?”
“They better be,” Shen Qingqiu muttered as they bent to look.
Their luck held. There was indeed one pitcher left of the blue colored liquor Shang Qinghua had procured. Shen Qingqiu found the least dusty glasses left standing and handed one over to his friend and poured them both to the brim. “Bottoms up,” he clinked their glasses together.
There was the sound of footsteps at the door. Shen Qingqiu bolted his drink, feeling a trickle escape the side of his mouth. Not that it mattered . Not that it was important when he'd just gone into full battle mode drunk and damn near naked and – oh for fucks sake that was Liu Qingge and Yue Qingyuan out there and they had seen him drunk and –
A hand took his glass away. He barely noticed Mobei-Jun taking Shang Qinghua into his arms and a portal opening in the middle of the room, spiriting them away. He was too busy looking up at Luo Binghe and feeling the effects of two long weeks of worry start to crash down on him.
“The next time you go to quell some stupid rebellion, I'm going with you,” he told his husband. “Also, we're never going near TyLing mountain range. Ever.”
“This husband is listening.”
“Can I bill those assholes for my bamboo forest?”
The corner of Luo Binghe's mouth twitched upward. “I can conquer their lands and gift to you their treasury if this husband demands.”
“It will take years to fix my poor plants,” Shen Qingqiu reached up and grabbed Luo Binghe's robes. “ Years .”
“This lord understands.”
“They ruined my day, Binghe. All I wanted was to get drunk with Shang Qinghua. Was that too much to ask?”
“Why did this husband want to get drunk?” Luo Binghe had knelt down in front of him, one hand curling around Shen Qingqiu's neck. “Shizun has never drank so much in front of his husband before. Were you upset? Did something happen?”
“I,” Shen Qingqiu narrowed his eyes at his husband. “Missed you.”
“Ah, I see. And Shang Qinghua?”
“Missed his husband too.”
“I see.” Luo Binghe's demon mark was glowing faintly. “Shizun has had a very stressful day.”
“This master just shredded some hussy who wanted his husband for herself,” Shen Qingqiu said. “This master is about ready to go plant her head on a pole for everyone to see. All others need to keep their sticky paws off.”
“Shizun is being very territorial. This disciple appreciates it. And this,” one hand came down to trace the edge of his shirt where it dipped down below his collar bone. “This husband appreciates this, too. But not that so many others have seen this lord's husband in such a state.”
“Then tell your enemies to back the fuck off my lawn. I was having. A nice. Day.”
Luo Binghe barked out a laugh. It was enough to break the dam. Shen Qingqiu grabbed two handfuls of his husband's robes, lifted and threw him onto the bed. It was gratifying to hear Binghe's noise of surprise. Shen Qingqiu crawled on top of his husband, pulling at that same robe, wanting to feel the warmth of his skin under his hands.
“Shizun...” Hands tried to grab his own. “Shizun is not thinking clearly.”
“Binghe if you don't get naked in the next few minutes you're going to be sleeping in your old room for a month .”
“This husband hears and obeys – ah!”
Shen Qingqiu pulled back from the red mark he put on his husband's neck with a smile. He grabbed his shirt and drew it over his head, tossing it to the floor. He thought he might have heard a sound from the door, but ignored it. The spread of Luo Binghe beneath him was more important. He helped his husband undress, leaning down to lick at the scar over his heart, hands roving as more skin was bared to him. He heard seams rip as Binghe helped to remove his comfortable pants – but no matter, Shang Qinghua owed him at least two more pairs.
He took Binghe's fingers with little trouble, his body relaxed and humming from leftover energy and drink. The look on his husband's face as he rode those fingers was enough to have him drawing it out, though, moving his hips and curling his nails into Luo Binghe's pecs when he hit the angle just right. He threw back his head and shouted when Luo Binghe curled a fist over his cock and worked him over, drawing him closer and closer to the edge until he could barely stand it.
“Please – ah – please –,” he wasn't sure what else he was babbling, but he was lifted off those magical fingers and speared onto Luo Binghe's massive cock, sliding down with gravity's help until they were flush, skin to skin. He was given a moment to catch his breath and then those warm hands were on his hips, moving him up and down that length, only able to dig his nails in and hold on as he was fucked .
It was perfect.
It didn't take long for him to reach his peak, shuddering out his release over Luo Binghe's stomach. Then he found himself lifted, their bodies still connected as Luo Binghe rolled him under his bulk and really started to put his back into it. Shen Qingqiu reached up to fist his hands in his husband's hair and hold on, head tipped back for Luo Binghe to bite at his neck and put his own marks onto his husband in turn. He lost count at his third – or was it forth? – orgasm, shouting out his pleasure for anyone to hear as Luo Binghe's impressive stamina just kept going. And going.
It was a long time before anyone dared approach the bamboo house that night.
BONUS:
“Bro, bro, bro .”
“ What ?”
“I totally take it back.”
“Take what back?”
“Mobei-Jun really, really likes it when I'm drunk.”
“Oh my god, shut up .”