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2019-08-01
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Two Nights

Summary:

Jane and Petra's two nights together after Petra's break up.

Notes:

One last fic before the finale. I don't give a shit about Jafael anymore I'm sorry, but I do care about Petramos so I wanted to be sensitive. So, anyway, here's to hoping the finale is decent.

Work Text:

The first time Jane had seen Petra cry, they didn't really know each other and in fact, Jane wasn't too fond of Petra at the time, what with the plotting to get custody of Jane's then-unborn baby and all that. Jane usually preferred to believe the best in people, but Petra was becoming an exception. That was until Jane found the woman sobbing in a stairwell because her abusive ex had come back. Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones but Jane couldn't stand to just leave the woman alone.

Petra ended up completely opening up to Jane, to the point of her accidentally giving away her identity—revealing that she wasn't born Petra Andel, but Natalia Something (Jane still doesn't know Petra's birth surname). It wasn't until later, after Petra stopped scheming, that Jane realized what a big moment that was in their relationship. Unfortunately little things happened to them and between them, causing rifts in their relationship. It wasn't until six years later that they began to really work on their relationship and turn it into something else.

Technically the second time Jane saw Petra cry was when she gave birth to the twins, but Jane doesn't count that because Petra had just pushed out two babies without epidural—of course she was crying.

No, the real second time was when Petra showed up at Jane's house in the middle of the night after being broken up with. Petra was a strong woman, one of the strongest Jane knew (after her mother and abuela, of course) so to see her so completely and utterly broken was heart-wrenching.

“Can I sleep here tonight?” Petra asked, her voice sounded raw and cracked.

“Of course.”

Jane didn't have much to say, there wasn't much she could say, so she just held Petra in her arms until she relaxed and eventually fell asleep. Jane stayed upright, gently rubbing Petra's arms until she too drifted off.

She woke up sometime later in the night, her neck sore from being bent at an awkward angle. A warm body next to her reminded her what was happening. Petra was out cold, but didn't look relaxed, even in sleep. There was a slight crinkle in Petra's forehead. Jane wished she could do anything to help Petra, but she couldn't think of anything. Petra was hung up on Rafael for a while, to the point of being obsessive, but Jane didn't think Petra was ever this heartbroken over him.

Petra's hand suddenly gripped Jane's shirt, and Jane thought Petra did that in her sleep, but when she looked down she saw two large eyes staring up at her.

“I'm sorry to put you through this, Jane,” Petra said softly. “I just...”

“Hush, it's nothing. It's not like you're a monster or anything.”

The reference seemed to be lost on Petra, it was six years ago that Petra said that.

“Nevermind,” Jane said. “Did I wake you up?”

“No.”

Petra fell silent, her fingers sort of plucking at Jane's shirt; not unlike Faith M. Whiskers III. Her hand was pretty close to Jane's breast, Jane found herself noting. It wasn't important, but Jane did notice that.

“If me five years ago saw this, she would lose her mind,” Petra said with a slight chuckle in her voice.

“Yeah, we had a weird relationship, didn't we? Still do, but it's better. So much better. And you five years ago probably would be horrified.”

Petra cleared her throat. “Well, maybe not horrified. I probably would have...”

She fell silent again. Jane waited a moment before nudging Petra. “Would have...?”

“Nevermind, forget I said anything.”

Jane clicked her tongue. “Petra.”

Petra sighed. “Okay, but don't tell anyone.”

“Okay.”

“I mean it, don't tell anyone, okay?”

“Okay! I promise.” Jane smiled.

Petra took a long breath. “I had a crush on you.”

Jane's smile hung there for a second, before slowly falling away as she processed what Petra just said. “Sorry?”

Petra's body suddenly felt stiff in Jane's arm—yes, Jane was still holding Petra in her arms.

“I had a crush on you, Jane. I didn't know it back then, though. I just thought that's how you felt about friends, but I was obsessed with spending time with you—not that I would have told you that. But after I started dating JR, I realized I had a crush on you. Heteronormativity, you know. JR taught me that word.”

It was a lot and Jane's brain, between it being the middle of the night and this admission from Petra, wasn't taking this in for some reason.

“Okay.”

“It's not a big deal, it was five years ago, and Anezka distracted me from that.”

“So you had a crush on me,” Jane finally said.

“Yes, Jane.” Jane could hear the annoyance in Petra's voice.

“Like, a crush-crush?”

“Is this high school? Yes, I guess so.”

Jane suddenly felt weird holding Petra and carefully removed herself from her. Not that she felt weirdness on Petra's end, it was something else. Petra clearly took it wrong though because she huffed.

“Okay, thanks, Jane.” The coldness in Petra's voice was chilling and Jane watched as Petra sat back and crossed her arms. Jane bit her bottom lip.

“Petra, I didn't mean it like that. I just felt...”

“Weird?” Petra was really good at putting a lot of feeling into just her eyes, even in the semi-dark, and Jane was definitely getting something.

“Yes, but not from you--”

“You know, lesbians and bisexual women are not creepy because of their attraction to other women. I'm not some weirdo because I might have had a little crush on you, Jane. I value our friendship—our sisterhood, whatever you call it—I wouldn't jeopardize that. Besides, that was years ago, I'm over it.”

Jane's heart sunk a little bit.

“Maybe I should go,” Petra said as she started to slip out of the bed, but Jane grabbed her arm.

“Petra, no. It's like 2am. And look, look at me, Petra. I didn't feel weird because you liked me, I'm flattered, and I know you would never make me feel uncomfortable. I felt weird because...”

Jane squeezed Petra's arm, then let it go. “Nevermind.”

Jane looked away but she could feel Petra's eyes on her. Petra got back into the bed. They were both silent as Petra slipped her hand around Jane's.

“When I first realized I liked JR, I felt a little weird, at first because I had never noticed women like that. Or, I thought I hadn't. The more I thought about it the more sense it made and I started becoming hyper-aware of my interactions with women. 'Does this woman think I'm flirting with her, am I flirting with her, is she also attracted to women? Would she be creeped out if she knew I was thinking about this?' And honestly I didn't realize I had feelings for JR until I had a sex dream about her.”

Jane laughed. “Really?”

“Weird, right? I don't know how I didn't see it before.”

“Sometimes it's right there in front of our noses and we don't see it for whatever reason.”

Petra made a soft clucking sound with her tongue. “Yeah.”

“Yeah,” Jane said slowly. Petra's hand felt warm in her's, which she was sure was sweating.

“Maybe we should go back to sleep,” Jane said.

“Sure.”

They didn't move, though; they just stayed like that, their hands clasped together. Jane kept trying to push away the thoughts she was suddenly having, because this was not the time for thoughts like that; Petra just got broken up with, was heartbroken, plus Petra was her sister—of course that was a title Jane decided to assign to Petra just a couple months ago.

“Goodnight, Petra,” Jane said quickly. She didn't let go of Petra's hand, but she rolled over onto her side, facing Petra. Petra did the same. This wasn't any better, because now they were both staring at each other.

Petra licked her lips. “You know, Jane, I wouldn't be offended you also had... you know. If you felt the same way about me as I did five years ago.”

Jane's face went hot. “I-I don't.”

“Jane,” Petra said in the most patient voice she could muster, “if I learned anything from you is that honesty is very important.”

“It's not always,” Jane said. “I was honest to Rafael about how I was feeling about Michael, and look how that turned out.”

Petra scoffed. “That was Raf's own issues coming out, you shouldn't blame yourself for that. You were in an impossible situation and your fucking husband came back from the dead. What else were you supposed to do?”

“I don't know,” Jane admitted. “But it feels like I should have done something else.”

“What, pretend your husband didn't exist and just be with Rafael, then resent him for the rest of your lives? Jane, you're smarter than that.”

“I just feel so... guilty.” Tears were starting to well up in Jane's eyes and she did everything she could to keep them back, but one tear slipped down her cheek. Petra reached out and wiped it away.

“Because you're a good person, with a big heart, and you always put other people before yourself, but you need to put yourself first sometimes. Be selfish, Jane Villanueva.”

Jane half-laughed, half-sobbed. “It's hard.”

“You can do it. And if you need tips, I'm right here.”

And Petra really was, right there, staring at Jane with those big eyes. Petra's hand was still hovering around Jane's jaw. She recently broke up with her boyfriend, officially broke up with her husband, and Petra just broke up with the love of her life; stop it, Jane.

“Sometimes it's easier being an asshole,” Petra said as she closed her eyes.

“I'll have to remind myself of that,” Jane said with a smile.

Petra smiled too, and Jane watched as she slowly fell asleep. This time Petra looked much more relaxed in her sleep, no crinkles in her forehead, even a trace of that smile.

This was not good, Jane thought. But she found herself staring at Petra until she couldn't anymore and she fell asleep.

The next morning Petra had left before Jane was even awake. Her phoned chimed as Jane was walking into the kitchen; it was from Petra, something about Jane's awful sheets, and that she was going to get Jane some new ones. Jane rolled her eyes, but smiled.

There was one positive of her abuela and Jorge being amorous was that Jane got to sleep with Petra again the next night, just at the Marbella this time. It was the first time Jane had slept at Petra's suite and it was exactly how she imagined. Petra ordered them room service, got Jane some silk pajamas, and honestly, using a bathroom that was the size of her own room was pretty nice. The toilet paper was even triple-ply.

After they both settled into bed, full from room service and a tiny bit drunk, Jane sunk into the sheets. They really were much better than her own sheets, but she wouldn't admit that. Also the pajamas were amazing.

“How're you feeling?” Jane asked.

“Mm, a little bit better.” Petra didn't sound too convincing.

“Here, get out your iPad,” Jane said. “We're going to watch crappy romcoms.”

Petra did as she was told and settled the iPad against her knees, which forced Jane to basically lean against Petra's shoulder to watch. The one Petra picked was some awful Netflix Original romcom, but it was distracting. Both of them needed a distraction.

“JR hated romcoms,” Petra said. “She hated how straight they were, but she admitted she'd watch lesbian romcoms. Unfortunately not a lot exist; most of them are pretty dramatic.”

“I guess I never thought about that before.”

“I didn't either, until JR. I had never even watch a lesbian movie before JR, not that I didn't want to, I just didn't think about it. There are some good ones.”

“We'll have to watch some sometime,” Jane said.

Petra hummed in confirmation.

They were about halfway through the movie when Petra pulled Jane's hand into her lap. Jane barely noticed the action, it actually felt very natural. It wasn't until Petra ran her thumb over Jane's hand that Jane really noticed it. She looked up at Petra, trying to read her expression, but Petra was casually watching the movie. Or Jane thought she was until she noticed how red Petra's ears were.

“Petra...” Jane said as softly as she could.

Petra's eyes shifted a little bit but she didn't look at Jane.

“I want to do something, but it's not appropriate,” Petra said tightly.

“I thought you told me to selfish, Petra.”

Petra finally looked at Jane. Jane continued. “We can both be selfish at the same time?”

Petra glanced at Jane's lips, which was good because Jane was already doing the same to Petra. “Can I...?”

Petra's lips were so soft Jane almost melted into them. She held Petra's jaw, keeping her as close as she could. The kiss was slow, almost lazy, and Jane was content to just sit there with Petra's forehead resting against hers.

The iPad fell off Petra's lap, the movie still playing. Neither of them noticed. Right now, neither of them noticed anything, or probably thought about anything, especially the heartbreak both of them had gone through in the past month. Maybe this was only about forgetting, maybe it was something else, but Jane didn't want to think about it right now.

Petra still had her hand wrapped around Jane's as she moved both of their hands over to Jane's lap. She kissed Jane gently, moving their hands into Jane's pajama bottoms. Petra was guiding Jane's hand over her, getting Jane to touch herself; she didn't realize how wet she was, and it was because of Petra Solano. And even though technically it was Jane's hand, with Petra's hand resting on top of Jane's, it felt like it was Petra.

“Petra...” It felt only slightly weird to say Petra's name like that, breathlessly, but only slightly. It also felt like Jane wanted to say it like that for awhile.

Petra pushed Jane's hand, encouraging her. Jane knew what to do, but she sort of wished Petra was doing this.

“Can you touch me?” Jane asked, her voice sounding deep in her ears.

After Petra nodded, Jane took out her hand, leaving just Petra's hand. Petra's fingers were nimble, and strong, as she flicked over Jane's clit. They were completely alone so Jane let herself let out a soft moan. Petra kissed Jane's cheek as she picked up the speed of her finger, then slowed down, then went fast again. Jane could already feel herself tense up.

“Can I touch you?”

“You don't have to ask,” Petra said in Jane's ear.

Jane didn't know what the boundaries were, this was a weird situation. She was having sex with Petra Solano. It felt like something she would write after a fever dream. Either way, she wanted to make it as enjoyable as possible.

She knew she shouldn't be surprised, but Petra was extremely wet by the time Jane's hand slipped into Petra's bottoms.

“Oh, fuck,” Petra gasped after Jane only touched her once. Jane chuckled a little bit.

“You have to last a little bit longer than that,” Jane said, grinning.

“Shut up.” Petra slipped two fingers into Jane while her thumb pressed against Jane's clit. After Jane made a couple deep sighing noises, Petra clicked her tongue. “I should say the same thing about you.”

“Shut up.”

Petra pressed her face into Jane's cheek and she could feel Petra's smile. Jane did say she would do whatever she could to make Petra happy.

The angle was a little bit awkward because while Jane had a pretty good idea what she was doing, she wasn't using to coming at it from this side. The noises Petra was making did encourage her though.
When Petra came she buried her face into Jane's neck, but she didn't stop what she was doing with Jane, and just as Petra was coming down, Jane came too. It was a nice, slow orgasm, leaving Jane feel, just for a couple seconds, that everything was okay.

Petra picked up the iPad, placed it back where it was before, and they watched the movie, hands clasped once again. They fell asleep like that not long after that.

Jane had to leave quickly the next morning, but she left a note thanking her for letting her stay over and that Petra was right about the sheets. She wished she could see Petra's face when Petra read the note. What she didn't mention was that she wished they could talk about what happened last night, but right before they fell asleep, they promised they would tell anyone about this. Neither of them were regretful, but considering the circumstances with Jane and Rafael, and Petra and JR, it wasn't the right time to talk about it. It was just a one-night stand, some stress relief, friends comforting each other. Whatever it was, it couldn't be made into something more.

Jane told herself that over and over throughout the day until it was true. She pushed it into the back of her mind even up until she was about to walk down the aisle with Rafael. And it worked, until she locked eyes with a certain blonde woman standing behind Rafael.