Archive of Our Own ^beta

The ball falls to the ground with a hollow sound, badonk. It’s dead silent for a second, all eyes focused on the ball rolling on the court. However, when the whistle shrills, all hell breaks loose.

As soon as the referee confirms that the ball was indeed inside the court, Jongdae starts to scream, drowning the loudly-cheering audience with his voice. But he is not the only one. Jongin wastes no time and joins the celebratory screaming event apparently happening, albeit much more toned down. He jumps on Jongdae’s back who runs after Minseok to crush him in a hug. The smallest stands no chance as Junmyeon holds onto him with both arms and he finds himself on the ground in a matter of seconds. The pile of happily-shouting players on Minseok grows even more when the four stand-by players join in.

Chanyeol remains frozen in his spot and watches his friends celebrate with a smile on his face. They did it. A quiet “whatever” is mumbled to his right, pulling him out of his thoughts. Kyungsoo regards Chanyeol with a shrug and sprints off to jump on top of the pile, landing with an evil grin on his face as everyone under him groans.

“Don’t you want to join them, Yeol?” Kris appears next to him. Chanyeol shakes his head, still smiling.

“I don’t want to break Minseok hyung’s bones. We’ll need him in the finals.” Finals. The smile spreads wider on his face. Winning the prefectural preliminaries in the Spring Tournament and qualifying for the nationals in the process is the first important step to fulfilling Chanyeol’s dream of playing in the international volleyball league. And now the chance to achieve this wish is within his reach.

“Line up, guys!” Kris breaks up the pile with his bare hands and earns himself an arm full of sweaty, shouting bodies. Nothing their coach is not used to.

After calming down, they stand in a line opposite their opponents and thank them for the good match. This part is always the most awkward, Chanyeol thinks. The forced smiles and tears brimming in the loser’s eyes and the barely-contained joy on the other side. They make it quick; bowing, shaking hands here and there, waving to the crowd and they’re out.

“Thanks for paying, hyung.” Jongin is wasted but still manages to flutter his eyelashes in the setter’s direction. Junmyeon frowns and complains but everyone knows that he’ll pay nonetheless. His reluctant agreement results in another round of beer and extra chicken for the youngest.

An hour later and Chanyeol has trouble sitting up straight. He slumps in his seat and leans on Minseok’s shoulder. “Hyung, why are you still so…” He waves his hands around, barely missing hitting Kris on his other side.

“...so sober?” The oldest finishes the sentence for the pouting Chanyeol. “It’s not my fault that you’re such a lightweight.” He raises an eyebrow in challenge and downs the rest of his beer. Chanyeol reaches for a new bottle himself but Kris stops him with a stern look. “Lay down a bit, yeah? Training starts at 8 tomorrow. The fact that we just made it through round one of preliminaries doesn’t change a thing.”

The pout on Chanyeol’s face intensifies. He grumbles noncoherent words and snuggles more into Minseok’s side, the other throwing a casual arm around his shoulder.

Once there are only chicken bones and empty bottles left on the table, Junmyeon scanters off to pay the bill. They bid goodbye in front of the restaurant. Chanyeol buttons his coat up and shivers, it’s freezing tonight. But Jongdae doesn’t seem to have the same problem. He’s still only wearing his T-Shirt and sweatpants, and meanwhile the rest make sure to pull their coats tightly around them. Next to the group, Kris is busy wrapping his black scarf around Kyungsoo with practised ease. Chanyeol sighs and looks away.

He wants that too. Someone to care for. Someone who cares for him in the same way.

“I’ll bring you home.” Minseok bumps his shoulder. Well, he bumps his shoulder against Chanyeol’s ribs but details.

Chanyeol smiles gratefully and locks arms with the older. Somehow, Minseok notices every time Chanyeol’s thoughts begin to drift off in a bad direction.

As soon as he’s home, Chanyeol falls onto his bed, brushing teeth be damned. He’s so tired. And there is no one to complain about his morning breath anyway. The flat is nice and all, paintings hanging on the walls, a comfortable couch and big flat-screen TV, a king-sized bed and spacious kitchen. However, it’s empty most of the time; dark, lonely.

Chanyeol squeezes his eyes shut to keep his tears at bay. He shouldn’t have drank so much, it makes him too emotional.

He turns on his side and reaches for the framed photograph on his nightstand. The smiling faces of his sister and niece greet him. It’s a nice picture, taken on the day Exo qualified for the Spring Tournament last time, more or less one year ago. They lost in the quarterfinals; the nationals in sight, but still too far away at the same time.

This time, Chanyeol swears, they’re gonna reach the nationals. This time, their constant hard work will pay off!

Wiping his tears away, Chanyeol sets the frame back on his night stand and pulls the sheets up to his chin. There is no time for self-pity.

Training is more or less the same between games. Kris lets them run several rounds outside to warm up; then they do some drills with the ball, basic practices like setting, blocking and digging. Afterwards, the coach presents them the current tactics for their next opponent. The team they have to play against is newer, and most members are younger than them. Their manager points out a number of facts Chanyeol and his friends should know beforehand. For example, the youngest opponent already shows an impressive development after playing volleyball for such a short time. However, and Kris emphasizes this, they shouldn’t underestimate the other players, especially the short one with a blank look on his face, he is said to be quiet but deadly.

And Chanyeol understands, he really does, when he watches previous games of their upcoming opponents in the middle of the night, yet again alone in his apartment. It will not be easy to win but no team is perfect. Junmyeon and Minseok already pointed out some flaws in their defense while their offense is terrifyingly strong.

Chanyeol gulps. It’s the first time that the team participates in the nationals and they’re on their way up already.

Kris invites different teams over the course of the next few days to practice various tactics in friendly matches. They play nonstop, only taking small breaks to go to the toilet, eat or drink. Despite their strict training schedule, their coach always makes sure that they don’t push themselves too hard. They have to be in good condition, after all.

It’s the last training game they play when Chanyeol falls after blocking Changmin’s attack. He lands in a rather bad position and feels a sharp pain shoot up his leg. Immediately, he’s surrounded by his teammates and Minseok fusses over his ankle, making sure it’s not broken. Probably strained, is his unprofessional diagnose that the doctor confirms half an hour later.

Something like this happens all the time, so Chanyeol doesn’t worry too much. In his twenty years of playing volleyball, he suffered from various injuries. In his experience, a sprained ankle is a joke in the grand scheme of things.

Although he has to rest in the remaining training days, he’s present at the gym nonetheless. He analyzes their most recent games and watches his friends train. Chanyeol is surprised about the switch in Jongdae’s personality once again. As soon as the goofy Wing Spiker steps on the court, the look in his eyes changes. There is nothing left of the joking clown who constantly pesters Minseok. Jongdae is calculating and quick, often sensing the opponent’s next move. Minseok on the other hand remains the same, still quiet and focussed, thoughtful and caring but ruthless as a Spiker of Exo. Junmyeon, their Setter, takes his role as team captain seriously. He stays back for uncountable nights, discussing tactics and training statistics with Kris, motivating the team and making them all groan at his dad jokes. Chanyeol wouldn’t want to miss those, but he’s too smart to tell Junmyeon.

Stoic-faced Kyungsoo, as it turns out, isn’t the most stern on court. He has a nick for sober yet funny side remarks that never fail to make Chanyeol giggle. He earned the position as Libero in no time with his quick reflexes and speed that allows him to receive even the nastiest spikes. Kyungsoo is the backbone of this team, and Chanyeol can’t count the times the Libero saved their ass. Speaking of ass, Jongin has a nice one. Their youngest member is equally popular among female and male fans, not only for his good looks but also for his qualities on the court. When the Middle Blocker first joined the team, he was regarded with unsure eyes. Still a bit clumsy on his feet, Jongin made more mistakes than points but Kris saw his potential. And he was right. Jongin developed beautifully.

Even though Kyuhyun, Henry, Minho and Taemin usually don’t play in official matches, their presence as stand-by players is priceless for Exo. Taemin, the newest member and best friend of Jongin, and Henry act as a substitute for the other Wing Spikers. Minho and Kyuhyun on the other hand, prefer blocking, though Kyuhyun has decent experience as Setter too.

Kris coached the team from the beginning. Even though some previous players quit and moved abroad, he stayed, as solid as a rock. He guided them through their toughest times, kicking ass when they whined and complained yet listening to every concern and buying cake for all birthdays. They’re lucky to have him, especially Chanyeol who trained since he was six years old. Kris is one of his oldest and closest friends. He’s the only remaining friend from childhood if Chanyeol was being honest. You only have so much time between school and practice, so it’s difficult to maintain friendships outside of the team.

But it was worth it. Chanyeol grew up to be a more than decent Wing Spiker. He’s proud of his defensive and offensive skills, even if he doesn’t say so out loud. He spends time with his friends outside of the sports hall as well, meeting up for movie night at least once a week and going on roadtrips if possible. Over the years Jongdae, Minseok, Kyungsoo, Junmyeon, Minho, Kyuhyun, Henry, Taemin and Kris became so much more than friends. They’re family, and he’d do anything for them.

And this is why Chanyeol has to give his best even though his ankle still hurt after a week of proper rest and treatment.

He gritted his teeth when nobody was looking and smiled when their eyes were on him. Minseok, the ever-attentive hyung, watches him with a concerned look but the taller shrugs it off. He’s fine, nothing he can’t handle. The doctor said he could play again when he inspected Chanyeol’s ankle yesterday. He just has to be careful to not strain it.

And he is careful, really. But it’s hard to think about his light injury when Bangtan scores one point after another.

Two sets in and the score is even, their opponents losing the first and winning the second set of the match. Chanyeol is only half listening when Kris coaches them in the break before the last set, speaking quickly and gesturing with both hands. The others nod or hum, obviously deep in concentration. However, Chanyeol glaces to their opponents more often than watching Kris scribble moves on his small notepad. Number 7, Jungkook as his trikot reads, scored the most points so far. He’s the youngest on the court, but he radiates a strong aura. Chanyeol has yet to find a gap in his defense and that frustrates him. Every single time Chanyeol jumps to attack, Jungkook is there and blocks him with a slight smirk on his face. It slowly makes him lose his cool which is not a good sign. His ankle hurts like hell but he endures it. He can take care of it once they win.

The referee declares the break over so they huddle in a group hug, facing each other.
“Don’t be discouraged.” Junmyeon looks in everyone’s eyes, one by one. “We’re strong, we’re smart and we have Kyungsoo.” He winks at the Libero who rolls his eyes. “Yeah, whatever. Let’s kick their butts.” The smaller answers with a grin. They shout in agreement and hurry to their positions.

When they had a chance to score some points at the beginning of the last set, they are in a constant defensive mode this time. Even though Junmyeon and Minseok remind them to stay calm, the strong offense of their opponents wears them out. Chanyeol gets progressively nervous which makes him reckless. His ankle burns, it feels like a thousand needles piercing through his skin and bones, but all that Chanyeol is aware of is the ball hitting the ground right next to Kyungsoo’s outstretched hand.

“Why didn’t you get that?” He snaps, finally on the edge of his nerves. Thankfully, Kyungsoo doesn’t answer and opts to ignore Chanyeol’s useless complaint. Before the taller can work himself up more, Minseok places a calming hand on his arm. “It’s okay, Chanyeol. We still have time.”

But Minseok is wrong. They scored five points. Five. And number 2, Seokjin, prepares the match ball on the other side of the court. The Setter outstretches his left hand that holds the ball and lowers himself slightly to serve as soon as the referee blows the whistle.

Chanyeol locks eyes with Jungkook across the court. The younger seems kind of relaxed albeit the sweat running down his face and his hard breathing. At least the game is as exhausting for them as it is for Exo. Chanyeol gets in his position, eyes never wavering from number 7.

Seokjin serves the ball, letting it fly in a long curve right to the far behind of Exo’s side of the court. Jongin receives it and tosses it to Junmyeon. Chanyeol turns to his right, already crouched down, awaiting the ball. However, Junmyeon tosses it to Minseok who attacks with a quick, hard spike.

They score.

Bangtan rotates so Jungkook is right in front of Chanyeol on the other side of the net. Wiping his sweaty hands on his pants, Chanyeol tries to calm down. Sure, he’s a bit mad at Junmyeon that he didn’t get to hit the ball. But Minseok scored so it’s all good.

Where do these thoughts even come from? He’s never been angry because of something like that. Junmyeon did what’s best for the team, it’s nothing personal. Yet Chanyeol can’t suppress the ugly feeling inside his chest.

The next few seconds feel like an eternity. It’s Jongdae’s turn to serve the ball and Chanyeol watches it fly to the other side in slow-motion. Jimin, the Libero, quickly jumps with a long stride and digs the ball. Hoseok gets it. Chanyeol prepares himself to block Jungkook, while the younger looks at him with a blank stare and crouches down as well.

They jump at the same time, Chanyeol wiping his arms up, finger outstretched and eyes focused on the young spiker who is ready to attack.

But Hoseok tosses the ball to the other side. Yoongi quickly jumps and in the blink of an eye he attacks.

Chanyeol watches in horror as the ball hits Jongin's fingers. However, the younger's block is unable to stop the ball from falling on their side of the net.

Kyungsoo tries to dig it, jumping forward as fast as he can.

His fingertips graze the ball but he's a second too late.

Chanyeol comes down from his jump but before his feet touch the ground again, he knows there's something horribly wrong with his position.

He lands on his heels with a defeating crack, loses his balance and falls to the ground.

Jungkook, who witnessed everything while the others were focussed on the ball, rushes to his side with wide eyes. “Are you okay, Chanyeol-ssi?” His hands hover over Chanyeol's torso, unsure if he's allowed to help him up.

In a matter of seconds his teammates are at his side as well though. Chanyeol vaguely registers Kris calling for an ambulance, his deep voice loudly ringing in the hall. Someone curses, someone holds his hand, someone tries to talk to him. But Chanyeol can only groan in pain, squeezing his eyes shut.

The shrill sound of the referee’s whistle still echoing in his ears.

The rest of the day passes in a blur. Chanyeol is transported to the hospital. There are nurses everywhere and a doctor explains things to him after several tests. But the unbearable pain makes it unable to focus. Only after a nurse injects him pain medication Chanyeol’s mind clears.

The doctor uses a lot of complicated medical terms to explain Chanyeol’s current situation. It sounds complex and confusing. Chanyeol doesn't understand everything but he doesn’t have to, really. The grimace on the doctor’s face is proof enough that his condition is by no means good. A quick glance to Kris who sits by his side confirms his fear, the deep frown adorning his friend’s face speaks for itself.

Chanyeol goes into surgery soon after.

“The injury is severe.” The doctor said with a professional neutral expression. “I’m sorry to tell you but it’s unlikely that you’ll recover enough to continue your career. However, you’ll be able to walk without trouble after recovery.” The doctor excused himself without further ado.

His words replay in Chanyeol’s head nonstop since then. He’s alone in his pristine white hospital bed, hooked up to wires that pump painkiller medicine into his body. He wishes it would not only make his foot numb but his mind as well.

It’s late at night, the visitor hours long over. Chanyeol’s phone lights up from time to time with messages, most likely texts from his friends and family but Chanyeol doesn’t care. He can’t. Not when his future crumbles in front of his eyes because he was too stupid to listen to his body when it told him that it was enough. That it just couldn't handle the strain anymore.

His mother used to scold him a lot because he just wouldn’t listen properly. Chanyeol’s always been a lively kid, running around all the time and causing lots of trouble. He couldn’t sit still for a second when he was still a child, his energy was just too much to contain. That’s why he began to play volleyball. His parents thought it would be a good way for him to burn off spare energy and make friends at the same time.

Chanyeol loved volleyball instantly. The court became his second home, and his teammates his second family.

And now?

“It’s unlikely that you’ll recover enough to continue your career.”

What was he supposed to do?

Chanyeol doesn’t know. However, he decides on a few things and implements them promptly. When his teammates visit the next day, he refuses to talk to them, pretending to be too exhausted to do so. They linger around and try to cheer him up but it’s of no use so they let him be after wishing him a speedy recovery. Minseok places a box with chocolates on his bedside table and offers Chanyeol a small but sad smile. ”It’s going to be okay, Yeollie.”

The tears start falling when his mother rushes in soon after, her face already wet from her own tears, and crushes him in a hug. His parents and sister say the same things like his friends. “It’s okay,”, “We’ll work it out together,”, “You’re not alone, Yeol.” Chanyeol tries to smile and assures his mother that he won’t worry too much and will focus on his recovery first and then they’ll think about the next steps together. He knows it’s a lie but they seem to believe him.

It still works; thank God for years of practicing his smile to look good in interviews.

The following days pass in a repetitive way. Get up and brush his teeth, breakfast, laying in bed for hours, lunch, more laying uselessly around, his friends and family visit, dinner, brushing his teeth again, laying awake at night. The monotonous days are depressing in their own ways.

Chanyeol is thankful when his rehab finally starts. It’s a painful process but he endures it with gritted teeth. It’s better than withering away in his hospital bed anyway. Due to his limited movements in the last weeks, Chanyeol lost some muscles that he has to rebuild again. He feels so small, like a fawn on shaking legs.

The doctor was right, Chanyeol is able to walk properly again once rehab is finished. Unfortunately, he was right with his other prediction too. The most recent test results show that too much physical exercise would damage his foot beyond repair. This means no running, no jumping, no volleyball. Chanyeol nods along to his doctor’s explanations and promises that he’ll look after himself.

Kris picks him up after he’s officially discharged and drives him over to his apartment. It doesn’t take long but the 20-minute drive is filled with tense silence on both sides. As soon as they reach the garage of Chanyeol’s apartment complex, the younger jumps out of the car with a hurried goodbye, slamming the door shut. He ducks his head and tries to hurry away. However, Kris catches up with him in a few seconds.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He asks with a stern look and grabs Chanyeol’s arm to halt him.

“Uhm, I’m going upstairs?” Chanyeol plays dumb and smiles.

“Drop the charade, Yeol. I’ve known you long enough.” Kris sighs and makes his way upstairs, a hand still on the other’s arm. Chanyeol’s smile drops and he rolls his eyes. He should have known that Kris is not easy to shake off.

“Listen hyung, I’m tired. We can talk tomorrow, okay?” Chanyeol pleads as they enter his apartment, puppy eyes and pout activated for good measure.

“Oh, tomorrow? So you can pretend that you’re not at home and ignore all calls or texts? I don’t think so.” Kris retorts and makes himself comfortable on Chanyeol’s couch. The younger squirms under his friend’s unyielding look and gives up eventually.

“Fine, let’s talk.” He huffs and sits down next to Kris, arms crossed. Kris knows him too well.

“Look, I know you’re hopeless at the moment and that’s justified. It’s also okay that you don’t feel well and that you need time to adjust. However, it’s not okay to shut us out completely.” Kris doesn’t look at him, they’re both staring ahead at the turned-off television.

“I don’t shut you out.” Chanyeol grumbles.

“Oh, don’t talk shit. Don’t you think we noticed that you’re ignoring us?” Kris scoffs. “We’re worried about you.”

“I didn’t ask you to be worried!” Chanyeol bursts out, raising his voice. “I didn’t ask for any of this!” He gestures wildy at his useless foot. “But it’s my fault alone so I have to deal with it on my own.”

“It’s not your fault, Chanyeol. I shouldn’t have let you play.” Kris’ voice remains calm although Chanyeol obviously starts fuming next to him.

“Oh, shut up! I would have played regardless and you know that.” He fumbles with the hem of his shirt as tears start prickling in his eyes. “I ruined everything. You guys must hate me.” Chanyeol’s voice becomes so small, just above a whisper.

“Bullshit, none of us hate you. You’re family. There’s no one to blame, Yeol. The other team was better, that’s it. As simple as it is.” Kris shrugs and lays a hand on Chanyeol’s thigh. The younger doesn’t answer. His lets his head hang low, tears dropping down on his lap.

“It’s going to be okay, Yeol.” Kris slings his arm around Chanyeol’s shoulder and holds him close until the tears stop falling hours later.

Chanyeol promised Kris that you wouldn’t ignore his friends anymore. He doesn’t have any choice, really, when at least one of them appears on his doorstep everyday. Junmyeon and Minseok are the first, only two days after Chanyeol’s dischargement.

“Movie night.” Junmyeon grins as he steps into the apartment uninvited, waving a bunch of DVDs around. Minseok follows him with a bag of snacks in one hand and a big bottle of coke in the other. “It’s not like we have to diet at the moment. So let’s enjoy this.” He shrugs.

Kyungsoo visits him on the next day, dumping a backpack full of books on his bed. “Educate yourself, dumbo.” And lefts. Chanyeol picks them up, with wide eyes and dumbfounded. Cooking for dummies. The wonderful world of puppies. 101 ways to use a knife, to name a few titles.

Jongdae, Jongin, Henry and Taemin take him out on the fourth day with promises of free food and lots of fun. It turns out they wanted free food so Chanyeol passes Jongin his wallet after the younger silently pouted at an ice cream stand. It’s hard to resist the youngest’s wishes.

Minho and Kyuhyun on the other hand, treat Chanyeol to free dinner a day later. They sit in the small restaurant, it’s more like a bar to be honest, until it closes well past midnight and talk about all sorts of things, like puppies or Kyuhyun’s horrible cooking skills.

Kris comes over a few days later, empty-handed and without the intention to force him outside. They don’t do anything, only lay around on Chanyeol’s bed, shoulders and arms touching. It’s nice and comforting. His best friend’s presence is apparently everything Chanyeol needs.

Weeks pass like that and Chanyeol somehow feels okay now. Well, apart from the big hole inside of him. The time he spends with his friends takes his mind off of any depressing thoughts but as soon as they leave and he’s alone in his apartment, there is nothing keeping the misery away.

He watches every game of the nationals on television. Lots of beer makes it endurable to watch the other teams play, especially when it’s Bangtan’s turn. Chanyeol admits, they’re really good; but that doesn’t make his situation better.

Bangtan’s eliminated in the finals.

Chanyeol turns the television off with a blank mind and goes to bed.

His friend’s visits become rarer when their training starts again. Chanyeol forces himself outside even if only for a few minutes. He meets up with his sister from time to time, catching up with her daily life and his niece. Sometimes, he just sits on a park bench and watches teenager play soccer in the distance or dogs running around with each other.

He doesn’t think much these days when he’s alone. Sooner or later, he has to decide what to do with his life now that his career as a professional volleyball player is over. But every thought about that hurts too much so he shuts his mind down completely. All that’s left is emptiness.

One evening, he wanders aimlessly outside. His body seems to still remember the way to the gym because one minute Chanyeol looks down, and the next he looks up and stands in front of the familiar building. He hesitates with a hand on the doorknob. The squeaking of shoes and shouts from inside make him smile a bit. He missed this.

He quietly shuts the door behind himself and goes down the dark hallway leading to the hall. Junmyeon is the first person he spots. The other is on the side of the court and practices his serve. On the other side of the net stands a tall, unfamiliar man who tosses the ball back again. Chanyeol’s eyes zero on the stranger so he doesn’t notice Jongdae sneaking up to him.

“Hey.” The smaller whispers in his ear all of a sudden making Chanyeol shriek and jerk. Jongdae laughs loudly, obviously pleased with his surprise attack, but whines as soon as Minseok smacks the back of his head.

“Chanyeol hyung!” Jongin exclaims from somewhere and runs over, crushing Chanyeol in a hug. Before the guys are able to hog him though, Kris calls them over to the bench. Chanyeol smiles at him thankfully and sits down next to Kyungsoo who gulps down water from a bottle Kris handed him a second ago.

“Nice to see you here.” His best friend greets him with a quick hug. “Want to make sure that the others don’t slack off?” He jokes.

“I only gained two kilos and I’ll lose them soon enough.” Jongdae continues to whine and plomps down on the ground, sulking. “I’m a stress eater.”

“Just wanted to say hello, I guess.” Chanyeol answers, his eyes landing on the stranger who’s currently standing behind Junmyeon, again. Kris notices that immediately and waves the stranger over.

“Chanyeol this is Zitao. He’s here for some test practices.” He introduces. The other bows respectfully. “You can call me Tao.”

Chanyeol on the other hand doesn’t greet him back. They found a replacement really quick.

“I think I left the stove on.” He springs to his feet, wincing when his foot hurts at the sudden movement, and waves at his friends. “See you later.” He hears them shout his name in question but he’s out as fast as he can.

The calls and texts messages decrease after a few weeks. He doesn’t know if they still try knocking on his apartment door. Chanyeol fled out of the city the same night he visited his friends at the gym. Fortunately, his grandparents didn’t question his sudden arrival in the middle of the night. His grandma ushered him inside, shoving a cup of tea in his hands a minute after.

He sits outside of the small house on the countryside and plays with his cellphone, turning the screen on and off again. He can’t tell why he didn’t turn it off when he ignores his friends. Maybe they’ll know that he is alright this way? They would worry more if their texts wouldn’t be delivered at all, for sure.

Chanyeol sighs and unlocks his phone again to read Kris’ recent message again.

If you don’t come back by the end of the month, I’ll drag your self-pitying ass back to Seoul with my bare hands.

He sighs heavily and turns his phone off, after all. Kris be damned.

What he didn’t expect was Kris to fulfill his threat by the end of the month.

It’s a rainy day, perfectly reflecting Chanyeol’s mood. He sits right beside the window in the small room his grandparents offered him to stay at. The droplets fall against the glass and run down. They’re looking like tears, Chanyeol thinks. Heaven is crying. He feels like joining. Alone yet again, because his grandparents are on an impromptu visit to their friends in the next village, Chanyeol doesn’t feel like moving or doing anything in general. He feels the first tear running down his face even though he doesn’t know why he’s crying. Because of his ruined future? Because of loneliness? Because he’s replaced in his friend group? Because no one needs him anymore and it wouldn’t matter if he doesn’t come back to Seoul? Maybe because of all of this…

He leans his forehead gently against the window and touches the cold glass with his hand. His grandparents are surely fed up with him as well after all these weeks. He’s getting on everyone’s nerves… Maybe he should just-

“You little fucker! I can’t believe you!” Kris slams his door wide open. He’s drenched, his clothes clinging to his body and his hair plastered on his face. Chanyeol shrieks in surprise and quickly raises his knees up to his chin to protect himself.

“What do you think you’re doing, Park Chanyeol?” Kris fumes, face red and all.

“I’m- I- Uhm.” Chanyeol stutters with wide eyes.

“Seriously.” Kris huffs and shakes his head, water droplets flying around. “Do you have a towel anywhere?”

Chanyeol nods hastily and rushes to the bathroom next door to retrieve one. He hands it Kris and pulls some dry clothes from his dresser for his friend to wear. Kris accepts everything with a curt thank you and changes his clothes right where he stands.

“Okay.” He starts once again when he’s finished and put the wet clothes and towels into a plastic bag he got from Chanyeol as well. “I wanted to drag your ass back the minute we noticed you left the city but Minseok stopped me, that idiot. Told me you need time for yourself or whatever.” Kris looks at Chanyeol who’s back on his spot next to the window. “So let me ask you: Did you have enough time to soak in self-pity?” His glance is rigid and angry.

Chanyeol nods, he’s not able to speak.

“Good. Pack your stuff, we’re heading back as soon as possible.” Kris gestures at the mess of clothing and other things laying everywhere.

“How did you even manage to get inside?” Chanyeol asks with a small voice as he packs his belongings in his backpack.

“Your grandfather gave me a key years ago.” Kris shrugs like it’s nothing. Well, Chanyeol didn’t get a key himself. He sulks while pulling his favourite hoodie on. It’s big and black and fluffy. He loves it.

They leave the house in silence after Chanyeol wrote a note for his grandparents and left it in the kitchen. He grabs an umbrella on their way out so they don’t have to run to the car. It’s not like would even be able to do so.

Kris starts the engine and pulls the car out of the parking lot beside the street. They drive without saying anything for a few minutes. Chanyeol nervously plays with the hem of his sleeves and jiggles his uninjured leg.

“You’re like my brother, you know that?” Kris breaks the silence with his deep voice, eyes focused on the road. Chanyeol hums and looks down on his lap.

“I was worried sick about you.” Kris sighs. “I thought you did something to yourself… So I called Soo over and he broke your door down.” Chanyeol’s loud gasp interrupts Kris. “Don’t freak out, we fixed it already.” Kris reassures immediately. “I just-” Kris pulls over and stops the car on the side of the empty road. “I don’t want to see you suffer, Yeol.”

Chanyeol feels his friend’s eyes on him but he can’t look up. It’s impossible.

“I love you, okay? Shit, you’re my little brother and I don’t want to lose you.” Kris voice sounds shaky. He’s crying. Chanyeol’s throat closes up and his eyes begin to burn. “No one’s ever gonna replace you.” That’s it. That’s the point where Chanyeol starts sobbing helplessly. Kris pulls him into his arms, the console digging into his side.

“I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore.” Chanyeol sniffles.

“It’s okay. We can search for help. Okay?” Kris mutters in his hair. “Actually… Minseok and Junmyeon already looked up some places we could go.”

Chanyeol laughs and shakes his head in amusement. “They’re too much.”

“I know.” Kris joins with a small giggle himself. “We would be screwed without them.”

They sit like that for a few more minutes, the rain making a calming sound in the background.

“I meant it when I said that nobody can replace you.” Kris picks up their conversation again and Chanyeol stiffens in his arms. “Zitao is a player from a different club. His coach and I made some negotiations a while back. The boy wanted to transfer to our team and I agreed that he can join our training. To see if he fits in, you know. He wanted to learn from you. Apparently he’s a fan.” Kris pats Chanyeol’s hair the whole time.

“So you didn’t search for him after my injury?” The younger asks and clutches his hands in Kris shirt.

“No, I didn’t. He came over that day to ask if he still could practice with us even though he was really down because of your injury and all.” Kris explains. “I wanted to send him home but Junmyeon insisted that he needs someone receive his serves.”

Chanyeol nods, finally understanding the situation. “Let’s stop at the next restaurant on our way back. I’m hungry.” He changes the topic, his stomach growling on cue. He can’t remember when he last ate a full meal.

“Sure. My treat.” Kris pulls away from the embrace and ruffles Chanyeol’s hair a last time.

It’s going to be okay.

Things get better. Chanyeol joins Exo’s training more often than not. Tao, as it turns out, is a sweet boy albeit his intimidating look. It takes some time for both of them to warm up to each other but eventually Chanyeol can look at Tao without that stabbing feeling in his chest and the younger loses his shy demeanor. Chanyeol tries to teach him as much as he can. If the kid really stays in his team, then he better be in his best condition. Chanyeol can’t hand his trikot to a weakling after all.

Besides coaching Zitao alongside with Kris and the others, Chanyeol made several appointments with a therapist. It’s easier to talk to a stranger about his worries and fears without being judged. Chanyeol starts to feel a burden lift of his shoulder every time he leaves the office and breathes in deeply. He slowly comes to terms with his injury.

“Any plans for today?” Is the first thing Jongdae asks when he picks Chanyeol up after his last appointment. They walk the usual way to Chanyeol’s apartment.

“Nope, maybe I’ll finish that drama I started today. I like the second lead way more but he’ll never get the girl.” Chanyeol pouts. The second lead is so nice and the perfect fit for the female lead! But the stinky, arrogant first lead will get her, for sure. That’s always how it is in dramas.

“You’re watching too much television.” Jongdae laughs. “Would you like to meet up at Kyungsoo’s? He wants to try a new recipe he found online and is searching for test eaters.”

“Yes.” Chanyeol answers several times in the middle of Jongdae’s sentence with sparkling eyes. He’d be a fool to let this offer slide.

“I hoped you’d agree. Kyungsoo said we have to go grocery shopping and I refuse to carry all bags by myself.” Jongdae adds with a frown. “Kyungsoo says it’s training because I became fat but he’s just a bully.”

“Huh? Now that you said that…” Chanyeol takes a step back and looks Jongdae up and down. “You gained some pounds.” He teases with a serious expression.

“I can’t believe-” Jongdae starts and ends with a frustrated scream. “I need new friends.”

Shopping for groceries is a quick affair with the detailed list Kyungsoo sent beforehand. “I once asked Minseok to buy water and he called me because he didn’t know what kind of water to buy. I learn from my mistakes.” Jongdae imitates Kyungsoo’s voice. “He said that he’ll never ask Minseok to buy something for him again,” Jongdae snickers and Chanyeol giggles. Despite being the oldest in the team and caring for everyone, Minseok is kind of hopeless when it comes to stuff like that.

Fortunately, they get everything the younger needs at the small shop around Kyungsoo’s corner. When they eventually arrive, Kris opens the door and takes the bags. It smells really nice already and sizzling noise from the kitchen can be heard. “Soo already started. You’re right on time.” Kris leads them into the kitchen where the younger is busy frying meat with skilled hands. Kris himself is only allowed to store the groceries away so he quickly does as told and scurries away afterwards.

Kyungsoo thanks them with one of his small smiles and before Chanyeol is able to blink his eyes he wears an apron, cucumber in one hand, peeler in the other.

With Chanyeol’s and Jongdae’s help Kyungsoo prepares a tasty looking meal in no time at all while Kris set the table in the living room. One after another Jongin, Junmyeon, Minseok, Kyuhyun, Henry, Taemin and Tao arrive with various gifts in their hands. Unfortunately, Minho couldn’t make it because he scored a date.

When all plates are emptied, not a single crumb remaining, Chanyeol falls flat on his back on the ground, patting his full stomach. “Soo, that was delicious.” He closes his eyes, ready to fall into food-coma.

“Chanyeol, can we talk for a bit?” Minseok nudges the taller with his foot. His friend’s serious voice lets Chanyeol sit up again. The others are busy cleaning and putting the leftovers away so he shrugs and gestures for Minseok to sit next to him. The older takes a deep breath and fumbles his a loose string on his pants. “Look, I know it’s a sensitive topic but I want to ask anyways. Would you like to coach some kids?” Minseok shoots Chanyeol a careful smile and tilts his head a bit.

Chanyeol on the other hand furrows his brows. Coach some kids?

“Okay, I should start from the beginning.” Minseok rubs his face with both hands before he asks. “Do you remember Lu Han?”

“The guy you befriended when we went clubbing last summer?” Chanyeol vaguely remembers Minseok dancing with the Chinese man for several songs before they left to God knows where. As far as he knows, Minseok and Han still text even though the other had to go back to China after his short vacation.

“That one. He’s friends with a choreographer called Yixing. Yixing’s boyfriend is friends with a teacher at a local orphanage. According to whom they’re searching for someone to teach the children any type of sport.” Minseok explains. “It’s voluntary work so you wouldn’t get paid but I thought a certain daily routine would be nice for you.”

Chanyeol’s immediate reaction is to grimace. It’s one thing to teach Tao. The Chinese man is grown up, he’s determined and listens to Chanyeol. He has the required knowledge and works hard. Kids however… Don’t get him wrong, Chanyeol loves children. But working with them is a whole other story, especially when they’re in a group. Kids are loud, run around all the time and they might not listen to him at all if they’re not interested in volleyball. It’s a gamble.

“You don’t have to decide today, you know. Think about it.” Minseok shrugs and hands him a small card with the contact information of said orphanage. Chanyeol thanks him and pushes it in the backpocket of his jeans.

Days pass and Chanyeol forgets the card in his pocket completely. It’s not until he does his laundry a week after the get-together that it falls to the ground in front of his bare feet. He picks it up after starting the washing machine and inspects it.

There’s the name of the orphanage as well as the address and telephone number printed on the front. Chanyeol stares at the card for a few seconds, mind blank. Should he call? He grimaces and puts the card on the kitchen table on his way to the fridge. They’ll find someone else to teach the kids, he’s sure. He won’t call. However as he turns around the card falls to the ground again, this time with the backside up. Chanyeol picks it up again and looks at the back. It seems like a child wrote something with shaky handwriting on it. Please teach us :)

Chanyeol snorts and smiles slightly. It’s impossible that the kid wrote that especially for him but he feels addressed nonetheless. He always had a problem with saying no to children’s requests. Sighing, he quickly dials the phone number on the card before he changes his mind once again.

After a few seconds, a person greets cheerfully on the other end of the line. “Hello, this is Bae Juhyun speaking. How can I help you?”

Chanyeol clears his throat and nervously taps his fingers on the kitchen counter. “Hello, my name is Chanyeol. My friend told me you’re searching for a sports coach. Is that right?”

The line is silent for a moment.

“Chanyeol-ssi? As in Park Chanyeol, the volleyball player?” Juhyun is obviously surprised.

Chanyeol laughs in embarrassment and scratches the back of his head. “Yeah.”

Juhyun quickly recovers and tells Chanyeol that they’re indeed still looking for a teacher. She proceeds to explain that it’s voluntary work but Minseok already told him so much. They agree on a meeting in two days, so Chanyeol could take a look at the gym and discuss further details in person.

The call is still on Chanyeol’s mind on the next day. He can’t count the times he held his phone in his hands with the intention to cancel everything. Fortunately, Jongdae and Zitao barrel in and drag him off to a shopping trip before he could do anything stupid.

“Nice to meet you in person, Chanyeol-ssi.” Juhyun welcomes him with a sweet smile in the early afternoon. Chanyeol returns her greetings and nervously plays with the hem of his long hoodie sleeves covering his hands.

Juhyun gives him a short tour through the orphanage on their way outside. Chanyeol gets a glimpse of children of different ages here and there but everyone’s busy playing or doing homework so nobody notices him when the adults pass different open doors. However, as soon as they step through the large backdoor, some kids playing outside turn in their direction. Their curious eyes on him make Chanyeol even more nervous.

“Noona, who’s that?” One of the boys nearest to them asks Juhyun, eyes still trained on Chanyeol. The other kids hurry over as well so Chanyeol finds himself in the center of a bunch of children in the middle of the yard.

Juhyun kindly explains that Chanyeol is a visitor that she’s showing around a bit. She doesn’t say that he might be interested in teaching those kids so they won’t get their hopes up. Chanyeol’s grateful for that but he fears that those children read him like an open book. The boys’ endless questions come to a halt when Juhyun shoos them away again.

“I’m sorry, they’re like puppies sometimes.” She laughs when the kids are out of earshot.

“It’s okay.” Chanyeol waves her off with a fond expression. “I like kids.”

“Well, this is a good start, don’t you think?” She winks and turns around to open the gate surrounding the backyard. “We have to cross the road and head a bit down the street. The school nearby agreed to let us use the gym in the afternoon. One of us would accompany the boys so you wouldn’t have to pick them up yourself. The kids are around six to nine years old, by the way.” She explains and proceeds to talk about the orphanage and some of the kids. Apparently they found a female volunteer who offers aerobic classes. However, mostly the girls joined them so Juhyun continued searching for another teacher.

They reach the gym after a 10-minute walk. Juhyun unlocks the door with her keys to let them in and turns the lights on. This gym doesn’t look significantly different from the one Exo uses so Chanyeol has no trouble finding the net and posts as well as the balls in one of the storage rooms. After looking around for a bit they head back eventually.

The gym is nice and the conditions Chanyeol would work under seem good. Juhyun tells him that he could try coaching the kids for a few weeks and decide afterwards if he wants to keep going. He could easily quit this job anytime he wants. And yet, he hesitates.

“Take your time. You don’t have to give me an answer right away.” Juhyun assures right before they enter the backyard of the orphanage again. “Sleep on it.” She opens the gate and is bombarded with a small boy running to her immediately.

“Ten and Johnny are arguing! Ten said a bad word just now!” He says with a wobbly bottom lip and glassy eyes. Juhyun sighs and hurries after the boy who ran off again in the direction of the fighting kids.

Chanyeol dumbly stands still next to the fence and looks after them. If he agrees to teach the kids, he would have to deal with those things as well. Arguing, fighting, maybe even a bloody nose. A cold shiver runs down his back. Nope, he’s not ready for this kind of responsibility. Chanyeol turns around to leave when he notices boy with catlike eyes that looks at him a few steps away.

“Hey.” Chanyeol greets him, awkwardly waving his hand.

“Are you our new teacher?” The boy asks and walks to him. “Will you teach us?” He re-phrases the question and takes a hold of one of Chanyeol’s sleeves. “I would like you to teach us.” The boy’s expression is serious even though there’s a pout on his lips. “Pretty please?”

“Uhm, well…” Chanyeol stutters.

Luckily Juhyun comes back and saves him. “Taeyong, don’t be rude.” She scolds him lightly.

Taeyong apologizes and looks down, his feet kicking the dirt on the ground.

“Maybe.” Chanyeol finally answers the boy’s questions. “I mean… I’ll think about it.”

Taeyong raises his head again and looks at Chanyeol with an open mouth and sparkling eyes. “Really?” His voice skyrockets.

“Yes.” Chanyeol panics inwardly. Thoses eyes, they’re full of hope.

Taeyong starts jumping on the spot and laughs happily. He thanks Chanyeol with a bow and runs off, probably to tell his friends the good news. How is Chanyeol supposed to decline the job after witnessing the pure joy Taeyong felt when the adult even considered teaching them?

And that's why Chanyeol stands in the middle of the gym on a Monday afternoon and prepares the volleyball net with Minseok's help. The older offered to support Chanyeol on his first day after he heard that he took the job on the weekend. Chanyeol's glad that he's not alone with fourteen unknown kids who signed up for the lesson.

When everything is prepared, Minseok curiously looks outside of the door while bouncing on his heels. "This is kinda exciting."

"Exciting, terrifying and a lot of responsibility. Sure." Chanyeol chews on his bottom lip and nearly bites down when Minseok hits his shoulder.

"Calm down, big boy. You're not alone even when I'm not here. Yerim-ssi will be here as supervisor all the time." He reassures with a fond roll of his eyes.

Chanyeol opens his mouth to retort but in this moment he hears several voices right in front of the door. He takes a deep breath as Minseok squeezes his shoulder encouragingly.

Soon enough, the boys and Yerim enter the gym with bright smiles. Thankfully the kids already wear sport clothes so they only have to change their shoes. Currently on socked feet, they line up under Yerim’s guidance and quiet down immediately.

Yerim quietly counts from one to three and the boys greet Chanyeol in chorus, bowing to show respect. "Hello, thank you for having us."

Chanyeol is flustered but manages to greet the kids cheerfully as well. While they put on their gym shoes, Chanyeol and Yerim exchange a few words. However, a few minutes later, Chanyeol stands alone in front of the wide eyes of fourteen children, whistle hanging from his neck and clipboard in one hand. Minseok and Yerim sat down on the bench, quietly conversing with each other.

Chanyeol clears his throat and tells the kids what he wants to do today. "So, as you already know, my name is Park Chanyeol and I'm your PE teacher. We'll meet three times a week for now, here at the gym to play volleyball." The small crowd erupts in cheers and huge smiles at that. "But first of all-" Chanyeol raises the whistle in front if his lips. "Run three rounds around the court. No cutting lines." He blows it and the kids scamper off, still cheering or talking excitedly.

Their energy doesn’t decrease after running several laps. However, they calm down a bit so Chanyeol lets everyone gather and sit down in a big circle. One after another the boys introduce themselves with their name and age; Chanyeol’s head starts to spin after the first six introductions. He repeats their names out loud starting from the first and adding a name every turn in hopes of learning them faster, earning giggles from the kids thanks to his left eyebrow twitching in concentration.

“Taeyong, Jungwoo, Yuta, Taeil, Mark, Doyoung and Jaehyun.” He points at said boys one by one. “Okay, next one.”

“My birth name is Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul. My Korean name is Youngheum and my Chinese name is Yong Qin. But everyone calls me Ten. Oh, and I’m seven years old.” The boy exclaims a huge grin and Chanyeol’s brain kind of malfunctions.

“Taeyong, Jungwoo, Yuta, Taeil, Mark, Doyoung, Jaehyun and … Ten.” He repeats with a hopeless expression. It’s impossible to remember all those names straight away. Maybe he should work with big name tags pinned on their t-shirts? He’ll keep the idea in mind for the next lesson.

After the introductions are over, Chanyeol starts showing basic stretching methods and explains their importance. He lets Sicheng stand in front of the group and repeat the stretches once more so Chanyeol can point out important parts like the exact position of the feet or balance.

The boys are eager to do everything Chanyeol shows them in the span of the next hour. It’s nothing much, besides stretching he explains volleyball as a sport briefly and Minseok demonstrates some spikes over the net causing the kids to look totally awestruck. Overflowing with motivation they get in line and watch as Chanyeol teaches them the first stance.

“Your feet have to be apart. A little wider than your shoulders.” He instructs, walking up and down the line as the kids shuffle around on their feet. “Now, bend your knees a little bit and lean on your hands.” He does as he says and waits until everyone imitates his position. “Your weight is more in your toes than your heels so you can wiggle around like that,” He explains further. “Great. This is your basic position, so it’s important to remember. When we see each other again in two days, I want you to stand in line like that, got it?”

After the shouts of ‘yes’ fade away, the kids run some finals laps and the first lesson is over. When the last kid walks over the door threshold, Chanyeol rubs his temples and sighs.

“I think you did a pretty good job, Yeol.” Minseok lays his chin on the taller’s shoulder and waves to Lucas and Johnny who walk backwards at the back of the group. “They’re lovely kids.”

“I remember one name. That’s all. Everything else is gone.” Chanyeol groans and walks back inside to clean up.

“Which one? Xiao Jun? Hendery? Kun?” Minseok asks eagerly and helps Chanyeol folding the net.

“Ten.” The other retorts in a deadpan voice.

The name tags were a great idea, it takes Chanyeol only one week to learn their names and match them to the right face. The progress the kids make in the span of a month is enormous, Chanyeol is able to advance their training quickly. Every time he visits his old team at gym, he takes notes on Kris’ instructions and discusses training plans with him and the others. However, all they can do is speak from experience so Chanyeol researches volleyball training for kids on the internet and takes notes.

“Hm? They’re late?” Chanyeol wonders out loud as he looks at the clock hanging on one of the walls. Never in the one and a half months Chanyeol has been teaching here, Yerim and the kids were late even once.

He waits for fifteen more minutes before he decides to pick the kids up himself. However, before he’s able to walk to the door, there’s loud shouting outside. And yes, that’s definitely a baby crying its eyes out. The door swings open and Jungwoo and Lucas come running in first. They directly skip to Chanyeol and barrel in his arms.

“We have to play with the babies.” Jungwoo whines at the same time as Lucas says that Yerim is ill.

“I’m not a baby.” Chanyeol has to witness an unfamiliar child punching Jungwoo in the ribs.

“Renjun, stop that!” A distressed voice yells after the fuming toddler. Chanyeol turns his head in the direction of the voice and freezes on the spot. A tall blonde bends down in front of the door and puts sport shoes on the feet of four little children while Kun and Jaehyun try to soothe the much younger crying boy.

“Jungwoo is mean!” Renjun’s shriek rips Chanyeol out of his temporary stillness.

“We don’t solve conflicts with violence. Apologize.” The adult demands without looking up from his shoes tying task. “Or you’ll have to sit on the bench with Jisung, Chenle and me.” He adds when the boy hesitates.

“Ew.” Renjun grimaces and half-heartedly apologizes to Jungwoo who just rolls his eyes.

What the heck is happening right now?

“Okay.” Chanyeol claps his hands to regain some kind of control over the situation. His kids stop goofing around and the unfamiliar children turn in his direction as well. “Warm up as usual.” He whistles and the older boys begin to run. Meanwhile he steps closer to the other adult and clears his throat. “Hello,” He says dumbly.

“Ah, wait a minute, please,” The blonde answers and holds a tissue to a sniffling toddler’s nose with one hand and holds the other still-crying boy in his other arm. “Okay.” He takes a deep breath after the kid’s nose is not running anymore and stands up upright to greet Chanyeol. “Hello, I’m Yerim’s cover because she caught a nasty flu. My name’s Sehun and it’s nice to meet you.” The other smiles tight-lipped with a deep frown creasing between his eyebrows. Holy shit, Chanyeol has never seen such a beautiful face before. “Yangyang, if you continue to pull on Donghyuck’s shirt, you have to take a timeout.”

“You weren’t even looking, hyung!” The toddler sulks behind Sehun and lets go of the other boys yellow t-shirt.

“Please excuse this mess. Today has been really hectic but I didn’t want to cancel training. The kids look forward to it a lot.” Sehun sighs with a distraught expression.

“It’s okay, don’t worry. I’ll think about something fun for your kids.” Chanyeol shoots Sehun a reassuring smile and leads him to the bench. The sobbing boy on Sehun’s hand doesn’t let go even when they sit down. “Chenle, I need my hand for a minute to put Jisung down.” Sehun tries and fails to free his hand.

“No, Chenle don’t want.” The boy sobbed even harder, tears and snot running down his face.

Sehun closes his eyes briefly and schools his face in a friendlier expression. “Come on, sunshine.” The kid, however, clutches Sehun’s hand even harder.

“I want to show your friends a fun game. Don’t you want to come as well?” Chanyeol speaks up and smiles at Chenle. “Jeno too?” He asks with wide eyes.

“Yes, Jeno too. Let’s go?” He takes Chenle’s tiny hand in his own and walks over to the group currently stretching on the court. He watches for a moment as the usually quiet Sicheng leads everyone, saying what kind of stretch to do next and counting the seconds they have to hold it. Kun and Jaehyun take care of the younger boys yet again, doing easy stretches with them and explaining everything Sicheng demonstrates.

“Good job, everyone.” Chanyeol steps in the circle, Chenle still glued to his side, and nods approvingly. “How about we show your friends the new exercise we learned last time?” He gathers the toddlers at the side of the court while his group stands on the 10-foot line.

“Remember: Right, left, jump and swing. “ He blows his whistle and the boys step forward; left foot first, then right, jump in front of the net and spike. “Well done, but you have to be careful while landing.” Chanyeol steps up to the line and demonstrates the exercise in slow-motion. “Land like this.” He pretends to jump and turns. “Your shoulders have to be in front of your hips. Land facing forward and not to the side.” He explains and goes back to the sidelines. “Okay, repeat five times.” He whistles again and the kids perform five more 2-Step Approaches.

“I haven’t seen anyone that focussed before.” Sehun says next to him and Chanyeol jerks. “Really. That’s fascinating. Even Yangyang and Donghyuck are quiet and they’re just looking.” The blonde is in clear disbelief.

“Uhm, yeah.” Chanyeol rubs the back of his head, at a loss for words. “They’re pretty good.”

“Can we do this too, hyung?” One of the toddlers asks with a starry look in his eyes.

“You have to ask Chanyeol-ssi, Jaemin.” Sehun directs the question at the other.

“I’m afraid that this exercise is too hard. But we can pass the ball.” He smiles and calls everyone over.

Chanyeol splits the group into pairs so that each toddler has an older partner and the remaining boys partner up on their own.

The balls continue flying for half an hour. Chanyeol corrects stances here and there, picks balls up and tosses them at a higher angle for the more advanced boys to practice receiving. Sehun sits on the benches, baby Jisung peacefully sleeping in his arms, and encourages them from afar. From time to time, one of the kids runs over and asks for a tissue or his shoelaces to be tied again.

It’s a strange sight to see Sehun carefully holding Jisung and feeding him with a bottle. Strange but not bad. It kinda makes him feel like-

A ball collides with his head at full speed causing Chanyeol to take a step back and shake the dizziness off.

“Oops, sorry,” Yuta’s voice rings out from somewhere to the side.

“Okay, training’s over.” Chanyeol groans. “Run and stretch properly, boys.” He forgoes blowing his whistle.

“Are you okay? That seemed to hurt.” Sehun asks when Chanyeol sits down beside him, still pressing one hand at the bump on his head.

“I’m fine. It’s not the first time that happened.” He smiles sheepishly and tilts his head to the side. “He should toss harder if he really wants to knock me down.”

Sehun laughs freely, throwing his head back a bit but still mindful of Jisung in his arms. “I’ll tell him that. Make sure to watch your back next practice, Chanyeol-ssi.”

“Oh please don’t.” Chanyeol answers with a chuckle himself. “And call me hyung. Better be comfortable when we have to see each other more often from now on.”

“Okay, hyung.” Sehun grins.

Yerim’s flu stays for a week. Even though Chanyeol can’t practice normally with the toddlers running around in the gym, he doesn’t complain in the slightest. Sehun is really nice to have around. He keeps the kids in check and takes care of all their needs while Chanyeol teaches without worrying about full bladders or running noses. (It’s not like Sehun does anything different from Yerim but still… The atmosphere is not the same.)

“Can you hold Jisung for a bit? Chenle had a little accident.” Sehun asks Chanyeol after he explained a new training drill to the kids.

Soon enough, he stands with he six-month-old baby in his arms and is afraid to move even a millimeter.

“You’re doing a great job, coach.” Mark calls from the other side of the gym, not an ounce of irony in his voice.

“Jisung is picky about being held.” Johnny explains as he bends down to pick up his water bottle laying on the ground next to Chanyeol.

“Only Sehun hyung can hold him.” Ten affirms.

Chanyeol tries to smile at the kids but he can’t manage to do so when the tiny human in his arms yawns. What if he justles him when he smiles and he wakes up and is upset and cries?

Babies are scary.

“Thank you.” Sehun pulls him out of his thoughts when he comes back a few seconds after, a clean and happy Chenle throwing himself at Jeno. Sehun takes Jisung again and cooed at the baby.

Chanyeol’s chest feels tight all of a sudden.

“I don’t want to go.” Donghyuck whines. Yangyang and Renjun exclaim their displeasure as well, plopping down on the ground and refusing to stand up again.

“Come on, boys. It’s not like we won’t see Chanyeol hyung ever again,” Sehun reasons and picks the sulking toddlers up, holding each under an arm and presses them to his sides.

The last training with Sehun and the younger boys just finished. Yerim’s back to her usual healthy self so Sehun won’t join practice with his kids anymore.

“No!” Chenle pouts and runs back in the direction of the changing rooms. Sehun calls after him but Chanyeol waves him off. “Take the kids back or they won’t get dinner. I’ll take care of Chenle,” He assures and Sehun nods gratefully.

Chanyeol quietly makes his way over to Chenle’s obvious hiding spot in one of the corners of the locker room. The one-year-old is still pouting with tears brimming in his eyes.

“Hey, sunshine.” Chanyeol sits down next to the crouching boy.

Chenle doesn’t answer, only shaking his head repeatedly.

“Come on, we have to go. Otherwise Sehun will be really sad.” Chanyeol pouts too.

“Chanyeol not like Chenle.” The boy mumbled as the first sob wrecks his small body.

“I like you, Chenle!” Chanyeol answers immediately, shock laced in his voice. “I like you sooo much.” He pulls the boy in his arms and strokes his back.

“But Chanyeol say no!” Chenle cries harder and clutches his tiny fingers in Chanyeol’s t-shirt. Understanding finally dawns on Chanyeol.

“Dear, it’s not like that. Sehun has to look after so many children, he can’t keep coming here.” He tries to explain but it doesn’t work so he tries a different approach.

“Would you like me to visit you instead?” He asks. Chenle takes a shuddering breath and look up, lower lip trembling and tear streaks all over his face. “I’ll visit you and we play together!” Chanyeol grins and cleans the boy’s face with a tissue. (He always has a pack on him ever since Sehun gave him several on their second day.)

“Play and cuddles.” Chenle looks sternly at the adult. Chanyeol laughs and pinky promises him.

“So the reason why you’re nodding off everytime we meet up is because a toddler pressured you to visit him everyday at the orphanage?” Jongdae snickers.

“It’s not like that!” Chanyeol exclaims frantically.

“So you’re going because of the hot dude?” Jongin asks, high-fiving Taemin and Jongdae.

“You guys suck. Why am I even here?” The pouts forms naturally on Chanyeol’s lips as he leans back in his chair.

“I don’t know either. Maybe you should leave.” Kris sits down next to him while the trio across the table loses their shit, clutching their stomach in laughter.

“Kris!” Chanyeol whines loudly and turns over his shoulder to call for Minseok. “Hyung, everyone’s mean!”

“Suck it up!”

The disrespect. He doesn’t deserve this kind of treatment.

“I thought we’re here to eat and then make Tao cry in Mario Kart.” He groans, earning a scandalized shriek from the chinese helping Minseok and Kyungsoo in the kitchen. “I heard that!”

“It’s not like he’s wrong.” Kris shrugs, absently scrolling on his cellphone.

Chanyeol watches in the corner of his eye Tao running from the kitchen with a rather large knife in his hand. Junmyeon springs up from his seat and catches the younger mid-stride. Kris doesn’t even look up. Jongin, Jongdae and Taemin finally fall to the ground cry-laughing.

Chanyeol closes his eyes and sighs. Another typical day with his family.

Maybe Jongdae was right and Chanyeol continues going to the orphanage after breakfast because of the kids. They’re always so happy to see him and that makes him happy in return. Needless to say, they’re adorable. Yesterday, Jeno sat him down on one of those tiny chairs made for toddlers (Chanyeol’s not sure how he managed to sit there for an hour.) and read his favorite kids book out loud. Apparently he heard the story often enough because the fourth-year old can’t read more than his name. But the retelling was pretty accurate; he even used different voices for every character.

So yeah, maybe it’s because of the kids.

But Jongin’s words won’t leave Chanyeol’s mind days after their get-together.

Sehun’s special, that’s for sure. He’s so caring and loving, giving his all to make the kids happy, and he’s strong. Chanyeol witnessed Jaehyun crawling into the blonde’s embrace, crying because he thought that he’ll never be adopted because he’s not good enough; that he’s not lovable. It made Chanyeol’s heart break and he had to suppress the tears brimming in his eyes. Sehun, however, calmed Jaehyun down, made him feel loved and wanted. He knew exactly how to handle the situation.

But Sehun is weak too. As soon as Jaehyun ran off to play with Johnny and Mark, he covered his face with both hands after making sure that no child is around, and his shoulders began to shake.

And he’s hot. There’s no denying that.

Chanyeol sighs, laying on his bed yet again and staring at the ceiling. It’s quiet, only his breath disturbing the silence. He thinks about small feet tapping on the wooden floor, thinks about high-pitched laughter from the kitchen and a cartoon running on the TV.

He thinks about someone laying in bed beside him.

“Hey, I brought food.” Chanyeol opens the door with a huge grin, expecting the kids running to him as usual. Except that there’s no one in the playroom. Chanyeol frowns. It’s not the first time he showed up in the afternoon, they should be here.

“Baekhyun hyung, do that again!” Jaemin giggles from somewhere outside. And sure enough, when Chanyeol peeks outside the window he sees the whole group sitting in the yard. There are two strangers too, one of them currently making funny faces.

Chanyeol doesn’t want to intrude so he takes a step back from the window with the intention to leave again. Only for his plan to sneak out quietly being destroyed thanks to the ball lying on the ground right behind him. He falls on his butt with a loud huff, the bag with the tupperwares he was carrying landing beside him. It doesn’t even take a second for Sehun to rush in and help him up.

“Hyung, are you alright?” He looks at him with wide eyes and makes sure that Chanyeol’s not seriously hurt. His pride may be but his body is fine.

“Oh, is that The Park Chanyeol?” The goofy stranger literally emits pure joy at seeing Chanyeol.

“No, Baekhyun, stay away.” Sehun turns around with horror in his eyes.

Baekyhun doesn’t even seem to think about listening to Sehun as he walks over and takes Chanyeol’s hands in his. “I heard so much about you.” His eyes glint.

“Nice to meet you?” Chanyeol says warily. Meanwhile Sehun pulls Baekhyun away and in the direction of the door. The bicker all the way through, Baekhyun loudly protesting and kicking at Sehun while the taller picks him up effortlessly.

“I’m sorry for his behaviour.” The other stranger sighs. “I’m Yixing, friend of Lu Han.” He introduces himself with a dimpled smile.

“You told Minseok about the job offer!” Chanyeol exclaims in understanding and thanks him.

“No problem. I’m glad you took the offer. Sehun told us how much you do for the kids even outside of training.” Yixing continues as he calmly watches Sehun and Baekhyun throwing Baekyhun in the corridor and shutting the door right in his face. He turns around again, already on his way back to Chanyeol when Jisung starts to cry in his crib. Baekyhun uses the distraction to sneak back in. He sticks his tongue out at the taller who can’t see that.

“Okay, back to business.” Baekhyun squeezes himself between Chanyeol and Yixing and look up at the former. “Are you single?”

Chanyeol chokes at the sudden question and interrupts in a coughing fit.

“Babe, that’s not how small talk works.” Yixing claps Chanyeol’s back. Baekhyun rolls his eyes but smiles apologetically.

“Yeah, I’m single.” Chanyeol answers eventually, voice rough from coughing.

“Brilliant.” Baekhyun beams again and opens his mouth probably to ask the next too private question when Sehun grabs him by his collar.

“Go bother Sooyoung and her kids.” He kicks him out for the second time. Yixing waves goodbye and joins the sheepish looking male on the corridor. Chanyeol hopes that smile on Baekhyun’s face doesn’t promise trouble.

“Don’t mind Baek. He’s always this nosy.” Sehun sighs and picks Jisung up only to hand him to Chanyeol. He doesn’t freak out anymore when he holds the baby and he’s really proud of himself for that. They walk outside where the younger boys and girls are playing and sit down on the soft grass.

As soon as they sit, Sehun has a girl in his lap that asks him to braid her hair. Chanyeol plays with Jisung in the meantime. He pokes the boy’s nose with his forefinger and chuckles when the baby squeals. Jisung’s uncoordinated hands try to grab his finger, the tiny body wiggling in joy. They continue that game for a few minutes until Jisung starts to yawn. When Chanyeol glances up he’s meet with Sehun’s fond eyes watching them. He blushes slightly and clears his throat.

“I think Ten could make a pretty good Libero.” He watches said boy running after Xiao Jun with his hands full of dirt. “He’s quick and good at receiving.” Xiao Jun stands no chance and is covered in dirt in the span of a few seconds.

“Is the new training plan working out?” Sehun follows his gaze and shakes his head when Renjun joins the mud fight, screaming at the top of his lungs.

“Yeah, the kids even play three-on-three matches now. I’m thinking about taking them to the friendly game my team will play next week. You now, as a reward for working hard.” He muses. “Do you think that would be possible?”

“As long as one of us accompanies you, sure, why not?” Sehun shrugs.

“So uhm.” Chanyeol fumbles with a loose strand on the hem of his shirt. “Would you like to go with me?” Why is he so nervous? It’s not like he’s asking him out or something like that.

“Yeah.” Sehun’s stoic expression doesn’t give anything away. But he said yes so that’s a good sign, right?

“Maybe you should wear something really nice, coach.” Taeyong says to Chanyeol with a thoughtful look after the older told the group about their upcoming trip across the town.

“A shirt that’s not three sizes too big would be nice for a change.” Johnny sounds like Kris, oh God.

“What’s wrong with this shirt? It’s comfortable and it looks good.” Chanyeol asks in disbelief. Is he seriously discussing fashion with eight-year olds?

“It look like a tent. And your outfit is all black, that’s boring.” Johnny gives him a quick evaluation with an exaggerated sigh.

“I don’t even know why I’m supposed to dress up.” He defends himself with a frown. “And you two did not finish all of your laps.” He shoos the boys away who then resume running with the others.

It’s not like anyone cares what he wears, anyway. There’s no one to impress. So he should totally wear a large hoodie to the match.

“Use eyeliner. That’ll emphasizes his eyes.” Tao commands from across the room where he’s frowning at Chanyeol’s wardrobe.

“Will do.” Jongdae grins and leans over Chanyeol’s face, kohl pencil in his hand.

“I’ll bite your hand off.” Chanyeol threatens. Why did he tell them that Sehun comes along to the match?

“Aw big puppy, you’re all bark and no bite.” Jongdae coos and Chanyeol starts to trash around.

“Kris, let me go!” He pleads his best friend holding him down on the chair in the middle of his living room.

“Can’t do, sorry.” He doesn’t sound sorry at all.

Chanyeol relents and closes his eyes. “Fine, do whatever you want. But it’s not like anyone will care.”

“Nearly 13K words in and Chanyeol thinks he has an unrequited crush.” Minseok whispers in passing.

“What?”

“Nevermind.” He joins Tao in Chanyeol’s bedroom and pulls random shirts out of his wardrobe.

“Don’t you have to get ready yourself?” He asks, holding still when Jongdae lines his left eye with dark kohl.

“We get ready when you’re all dressed up so you can come with us.” Kris answers and Chanyeol hisses when Jongdae applies to much pressure.

“So I can’t wash this stuff off and change my clothes.” He concludes.

“Yeah and now shut up or I might accidentally stab your eye.” Jongdae scolds.

Chanyeol feels like a stranger in the fitted shirt Tao and Minseok made him wear, saying that it shows off his muscles. He’s pretty sure it’s not even his shirt in the first place, but whatever. He lost that fight when he opened the door hours ago to let his friends in.

He nervously glances at his watch and taps his foot. Sehun and the boys should be here any minute now. Exo’s currently warming up together with the other team inside the gym. Kris refused to tell him who the opponents are in the forehand and Chanyeol forgets to ask today.

Eventually a group of excited children runs to him in the empty parking lot in front of the gym where Chanyeol’s waiting. They’re all talking at the same time so it’s hard to catch what everyone’s saying. The approving look Johnny shoots his way, however, is impossible to miss.

“Kids, personal space.” Sehun reminds the boys as he arrives a few steps after the children. Chanyeol looks up to greet him but his throat closes up at the sight of the blonde. Sehun, who’s usually dressed in stylish yet comfortable t-shirts, wears a sweater that looks incredible soft and comfy. Chanyeol gulps hard.

“It’s as soft as it looks.” A voice whispers right next to his ear. Chanyeol jerks and whips around only to see Baekhyun standing on his tiptoes next to him, winking at the taller.

“Baek, personal space.” Yixing comes up to his boyfriend and pulls him away.

Sehun quickly explains that his friends insisted on watching the game as well and Minseok apparently said that it’s okay. Well, more eyes on the kids won’t hurt, Chanyeol shrugs.

“Okay, do you have your questions ready?” Chanyeol turns to the boys who nod. Seeing as this is a rare chance to talk to two different volleyball teams, Chanyeol told his kids that they should prepare questions for different players so they could learn something from them. Yerim and he helped writing everything down after practice and he already asked his friends to write legibly answers down. Hopefully the other team will be so kind to do so too.

Kris lets them in soon enough and the group sits down on the benches lined up a few meters away from the court. Chanyeol’s too busy seating everyone to take a look at the other team. When he finally sits down on the suspiciously only empty space right next to Sehun, he wishes he had time to prepare himself.

There, on the left side of the court stand Bangtan, already in position. His eyes fly to Kris, but the other is busy talking with Bangtan’s coach, Nam- something. This can’t be true.

“It’s okay, hyung.” Sehun slightly leans over so Chanyeol is able to hear him whisper.

“What are you talking about?” He laughs fakely and quickly turns to Taeil who’s sitting beside him. “Are you excited to see professionals play?” The boy starts to ramble on and Yuta next to him joins the conversation. Sehun sighs on his other side.

The kids gasps whenever one of the spikers jumps in front of the net. The clap regardless of the team scoring. And stare with mouths agape when the Liberos dig a ball in a spectacular way. It would be so entertaining to watch their reactions when the storm in Chanyeol’s head would just stop.

Bangtan wins the first set. Exo wins second and third. Minseok finishes the match with a feint and lets Jongdae barrel him over in a hug. The kids spring up from their seats when Kyuhyun officially ends the match with a blow of his whistle. They rush over to the players, sheet and pencil already in hand and bombard them with a thousand questions and praises. Everyone laughs. Everyone’s happy.

Everyone except Chanyeol who stays seated.

Since when do they play friendly matches against Bangtan? The ones who crushed his dream. He ended his career. The ones who ruined everything.

“Hyung?” Sehun lays a careful hand on Chanyeol’s tense thigh.

“I don’t get it.” He whispers, shaking his head. “Why?” When he glances at Sehun, his eyes are glassy. “Why would they do this?”

But Sehun can’t answer him so he only shrugs and squeezes Chanyeol’s thigh.

“Hey Yeol.” Kris sits down next to Chanyeol. He sounds guilty. “I thought it would be best to just… show you, I guess.”

Chanyeol doesn’t meet his eyes, he stares on the ground. “Show me what? That you’re friends with those people?” He clenches his jaw.

“Those people? Yeol, they’re just another team and-”

“I don’t care.” He stands up all of a sudden. “Sorry, Sehun. Tell the boys tomorrow’s practice will be cancelled.” He may be a coward to run off like that but it’s the only way to deal with things that he sees.

Get away, cool off. Or he’ll punch someone. Or cry. He’s not sure himself.

“Going on radio silence for a day is okay, Chanyeol. But it’s been a week.” Kris calls through his door and knocks twice.

Chanyeol hears him loud and clear. But he doesn’t care.

Everything he achieved in the last month has been crumbling down to moment he saw Bangtan again. He knows it’s not their fault that he was injured and had to quit. He knows but he can’t stop feeling that way.

“Sehun came to practice today and asked about you.”

That hurts even more. He let Sehun down. He let the kids down.

“I told him that you just need some time to yourself. That you won’t quit coaching.”

Chanyeol buries his head in his hands and takes deep breaths.

“Kyungsoo made some food for you. I’ll leave it in front of the door. Please eat.”

Minutes pass in silence. Kris is gone.

Chanyeol waits a few more moments before he opens the door to pick up the large box laying on his doormat.

Another day passes and Chanyeol finally has the courage to walk the familiar route to the orphanage.

The sun shines brightly, birds are chirping in the trees and everyone seems so happy.

He doesn't know what awaits him when he opens the door to Sehun’s kids’ playroom but he will deal with everything. Anger, sadness, ignorance, maybe a punch in his face. It’s okay, he earns it.

What he doesn’t expect is Chenle literally flying in his arms with happy shout and the other kids bowling him over a second later.

“Are you not sick anymore?” Jaemin, the angel, asks with wide eyes.

“No, I’m feeling better.” It’s not a lie. He really needed time to himself to think. To come to terms with what he wants in life. And he thinks he knows now.

“Let’s play!” Yangyang jumps on his chest and Chanyeol huffs, grabbing the kid in his armpits and easily lifting the laughing boy off of him.

“We’ll play after I’ve talked to Sehun.” The boys nod, they know better than to disturb when adults have to talk, and scamper off to resume playing. Chenle on the other hand, refuses to let go, slinging his short arms around Chanyeol’s neck.

“Come on, dear. I’ll play with you aaaaaall day long after I finish talking.” He coaxes the boy to let him go slowly. He pouts but Renjun pulls him away to play with him.

Chanyeol tentatively approaches Sehun sitting by the window. The blonde has yet to react to Chanyeol’s presence. He’s obviously ignoring him.

“Sehun…” Chanyeol pulls one of the tiny chairs to the mini table Sehun’s sitting at and takes a seat.

“What did you say, Jisung? People who disappear without a word are the worst?” Sehun cooed at the baby with a smile. Jisung giggles.

“I’m sorry.” Chanyeol says earnestly. “I’ve been an assh- I mean, a dumb person.”

“You don’t say.” Sehun finally looks at him but the stern expression makes Chanyeol shrink.

“I wasn’t my intention to ditch you guys. I just…” He shrugs helplessly.

“You just lock yourself in your apartment for a week and refuse to talk to anyone until you sorted the not-so-nice thoughts in your head?”

It’s ridiculous how they avoid bad words in front of a baby who doesn’t understand anything.

“It won’t happen again.” Chanyeol promises sincerely.

“It’s not healthy. And it doesn’t solve anything.” Sehun sighs. “But I get it. I watched the prelims with Baek and Xing. I was there on that day.”

“You- What?” Chanyeol’s shocked.

“Let’s talk about that later.” Sehun waves him off. “You better go play with my kids now and when Yerim’s kids come back from school, you beg for forgiveness.” The blonde smirks.

Thankfully, Yerim and Sehun decided to tell everyone that Chanyeol caught some virus and is sick instead of moping in his flat. The older kids seem a bit wary, cautious even, but Chanyeol promises to make up for the training they missed.

And he does.

After apologizing to the kids and reassuring that they meeting the next day at the gym, he drives over to the evening practice of his former team to do what they should have done long ago. Talking. No lies, no hiding.

It’s well past midnight when they leave the gym but Chanyeol, albeit being teary-eyed, doesn’t feel tired. On the contrary, he feels refreshed, stronger than before.

It’s the first time in so long that he goes to bed with a sincere smile on his face.

He nervously gnaws on his bottom lip, eyes flicking from the door handle to the side where his car is parked. If he turns around now and goes away, no one would even notice that he was here in the first place. It would be so easy to run away instead of dealing with the mess he created. And it would be the choice the old Chanyeol would have chosen.

But Chanyeol promised himself to be stronger so he takes a deep breath and knocks on the door. He hears something drop down to the floor with a loud bang on the other side before it’s silent for a few seconds. Chanyeol raises his hand to knock again when the door flies open and he’s met with Kim Namjoon in PJs and unkempt hair.

“Sorry for disturbing your sleep.” Chanyeol greets the other politely. The younger quickly shakes the shock of seeing Chanyeol on his doorstep in the early morning hours off and invites him in.

After getting comfortable with a hot cup of coffee, they sit down in the living room. It’s awkward. Chanyeol doesn’t know how or where to start this conversation so he just sips on his coffee, eyes carefully trained on the ground.

It’s Namjoon who breaks the silence after a while. “Is there anything you want to talk about or do you just want to hang out?” He sounds a bit confused which is understandable. Chanyeol chuckles nervously and places his mug on the table coaster.

“I wasn’t nice to you the last time we saw each other.” He starts, voice laced with guilt. “I’m here to apologize for that.”

“Don’t worry, we took no offence.” Namjoon reassures with a hum. “What happened to you is terrible, so your behaviour was understandable.”

Chanyeol finally looks up and cracks a small smile. “Actually, I have one more reason why I’m here today and I know it’s a bit bold of me, but I have to ask you for a favor.”

It’s not for another few weeks that things are back to normal again. Well, mostly. Right after practice eight days ago, Juhyun waited for them at the gate with a huge smile on her face. Jaehyun was adopted by a lovely couple that visited him from time to time since last year. Apparently, there have been trouble with the papers, so the whole process took longer than usual. They didn’t they anything to the boy in case their adoption request was declined. On that day, he and Sehun stayed back with the toddlers, watching over their tiny, sleeping bodies and talking to each other in hushed voices.

“Coach, watch out!” Jungwoo shouts as loud as he can but Chanyeol is too deep down the memory lane to notice the ball aimed straight at his head. It crashes against his forehead and send him stumbling a few steps back, groaning at the pain.

“I think you’re doing that intentionally, Yuta.” He doesn’t have to look at Yuta’s half-grinning face to know it was him. Again.

“It’s not my fault you were spacing out.” The boy shrugs and fetches another ball to practice his serve.

Chanyeol opens his mouth to scold him but Jaehyun beats him by smacking his friends back of the head. Bless Jaehyun’s new parents for letting the boy continuing practice with his friends.

“Okay boys, divide yourself in the usual two teams. It’s time for a practice match!” Chanyeol claps his hands.

Chanyeol and Sehun didn’t get to talk till the end of the month. Sehun banned the elder from entering the toddler’s room due to a nasty cold one of the kids caught and spread to the others. Sehun had to deal with seven feverish and whiny little children on his own most of the time, so he was too exhausted to text more than a simple goodnight at the end of the day.

However, the kids are feeling better now and Wendy is finally back from vacation to help out again. Chanyeol didn’t waste any more time to invite Sehun over to his flat with the promise of food and the new Avengers movie.

Turns out, Kyungsoo’s recipe books are of no help at all. The kitchen is a mess and he’s pretty sure whatever this dinner was supposed to be was poisonous by now.

“It’s okay, hyung. Let’s just order takeout.” Sehun sighs after briefly glancing at the disaster in the kitchen. Chanyeol grumbles but gives in without a fight. But next time… Next time...

“I heard you extended your contract.” Sehun says with a full mouth, a stray noodle sticking out between his lips. Chanyeol snorts at the sight. Sehun swallows and raises an expectant eyebrow. “Children aren’t so scary anymore?”

“Yeah, well, what can I say? I like the job.” Chanyeol smiles softly.

“Even if you don’t get paid shit?”

Chanyeol chokes on his own food at Sehun’s blunt question. He coughs violently and gladly accepts the water bottle the younger gives him.

“Don’t worry about that.” He answers finally, his voice scratchy. “And you don’t get paid much either.” He retorts teasingly.

Sehun’s expression sours instantly. “I don’t do this job for the money.”

Chanyeol winces. “That’s not what I meant, Sehun.” He nudges the younger’s foot with his own. Sehun frowns but looks up when Chanyeol doesn’t stop bothering him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” After Sehun’s nod, Chanyeol puts their dishes in the sink and leads him over to the living room. They sit down, Sehun on the armchair, legs crossed and expression closed off. Chanyeol sat on the couch, glancing at the younger.

“I don’t know my parents.” Sehun mumbles after a few minutes. “They gave me away when I was still a baby.” He stops, gnawing his bottom lip. Chanyeol doesn’t know what to say so he just hums, hoping that Sehun feels encouraged to talk a bit more.

“It wasn’t that bad, you know. We were like a big family. But then one after another was adopted.” Sehun looks down on his lap. “Everyone I grew up with found their mom and dad. Everyone but me.” He takes a shuddering breath, fingers clenching the fabric of his pants. Chanyeol doesn’t think for a second and quickly walks across the room to pull Sehun in his arms. The younger grabs the sides of his shirt and presses his face in the crook of Chanyeol’s neck.

“It okay to cry, Hun.” Chanyeol mumbles in the other’s hair, carefully stroking his shaking back. Sehun lets go and cries, wetting Chanyeol’s shirt. But that’s not important right now.

“They thought I hated them.” Sehun hiccups, unclenching his hands and slinging his arms around the elder. “Just because I wasn’t smiling all the time. I- I-” He sobs again and tightened his embrace. “I was so shy. I wanted them to like me but I didn’t know what to do, so I did nothing and they hated me.”

“Oh, Hun, I’m sure they don’t hate you.” Chanyeol shushes him and threads the fingers of his right hand through Sehun’s hair while his left stroked the other’s back. “And who cares if they did? You’re wonderful, Sehun. You have so much love to give, you’re clever, you’re so good in caring about those around you and…” Chanyeol leans a bit back so he can put Sehun’s face in both hands, swiping his tears away with his thumbs. “And I think I’m in love with you.”

Sehun snorts and starts giggling.

“What? Why are you laughing?” Chanyeol pouts, not letting go of the younger’s face.

“I knew.” Sehun pokes Chanyeol’s nose and laughs harder because of the elder’s stunned expression, open mouth and all. “Hyung, you’re not subtle and the kids have been telling me everything.”

“Those traitors.” Chanyeol grumbles, his pout intensifying.

“I’m glad they did though... “ Sehun gets more serious again. “Otherwise your sudden cold shoulder would have… I don’t know.” He shrugs and Chanyeol knows. He knows.

“I’m so so-”

“If you say you’re sorry one more time, I swear I’ll kick your balls.” Sehun threatens.

“I’m so- I mean I- Uhm.” Chanyeol stutters and gives up, leaning his forehead against Sehun’s.

“Are you going to kiss me or not?” The younger huffs in annoyance.

“You’re going to give me a whiplash with these mood swings.” Chanyeol laughs and finally, finally, pulls Sehun closer and presses his lips against the other’s with a satisfied hum.

“I’ve been a fan for a long time now.” Sehun sighs with his head resting on Chanyeol’s bare chest and their legs intertwined underneath the blanket. “One of the teachers at the orphanage was a volleyball enthusiast back then and often watched games with us. One day, we even got to see some matches in the junior league. That’s when I saw you for the first time.”

Chanyeol absentmindedly played with the Sehun’s hair on his neck as he recalled that day. It was his middle school’s first official match and they barely managed to win the first round.

“It became a habit to watch your matches afterwards. Even after all these years. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a chance to see a game live until recently.” Sehun resumes and Chanyeol’s hands pauses.

“So my last game was the first you saw live after such a long time?”

“Yeah… Baek bought the tickets as a surprise.” Sehun nudges Chanyeol so the elder continues to massage his neck.

Chanyeol hums, pressing a kiss to the crown of Sehun’s head. He doesn’t know what to say but that’s okay.

“I love you too, by the way.” Sehun yawns and cuddles even closer.

“You could take him to the ice cream parlor!” Jungwoo suggests excitedly.

“Or you can go to the zoo.” Taeyong muses. “Animals are pretty cool.”

“How about watching the new Ninjago movie?” Mark throws in.

“Kids, I don’t think-”

“Laser tag!” Yuta screams all of a sudden and everyone chimes in.

Chanyeol sighs, rubbing his temples. He sat the team down to talk. He didn’t even mention Sehun’s name so he’s got no clue why they’re talking about potential date locations and activities.

“Can you, like, calm down?” Chanyeol tries to get the boys’ attention but fails.

“You’re too loud.” Sicheng who’s sitting next to him says quietly and the screaming stops immediately. The kids sit down again after apologizing to Sicheng and looks at Chanyeol awaitingly. Sicheng is too powerful, he’s glad the boy is on his side.

“As I wanted to tell you before… I have a big surprise.” Chanyeol grins as the boys start whispering and wiggling in excitement. “Wait a second.”

He turns around and picks up the carton from under one of the benches and puts it down in the middle of the group. All eyes are trained on his hands slowly opening the carton. Chanyeol grins, his own excitement taking over, and pulls the first gift out.

“Taeil?” He holds the tricot up in front of him so everyone can see the eldest boy’s name written on the back with capital letters. Said boy’s eyes widen. He stands up and steps forward so he can take his tricot from Chanyeol with shaking hands.

“That’s mine?” He asks to make sure and after Chanyeol nods assuringly, the boy quickly pulls it over his head and proudly sits down on his spot again.

Chanyeol doesn’t waste time and pulls the next tricot out of the carton, reading Jaehyun’s name aloud and handing over the tricot to him. He repeats the process until the carton is empty and everyone’s eyes glisten with happiness.

“What are you waiting for, boys? Let’s try them out!” Chanyeol kicks the carton to the side. “Divide in two teams!” He doesn’t have to say more, the boy’s running to their positions on the court, some of them fumbling with the hem of their new tricots, some still in disbelief, but everyone proud and eager.

Chanyeol hides his huge grin behind his hands after the practice match begins. He’s pretty proud of them himself and, oh, he can already imagine their faces when he tells them they’re going to play an official match against another team soon.

Thank God, Namjoon helped him find sponsors.

“I’m so sorry we had to cancel dinner.” Sehun squeezes Chanyeol’s hand.

They’re walking in the park side by side as the sun slowly sets.

“Don’t worry.” Chanyeol smiles, squeezing back and leans a bit over so his face is level with Sehun’s torso. “Jisung is more important, right?” He pitches his voice higher to make the baby laugh and kick in the carrier Sehun has strapped on his chest.

“I would have preferred our first date to be baby-free.” Sehun frowns but gently strokes Jisung’s thin hair nonetheless.

“Well, the kids are sick again and we don’t want our precious Jisung to catch the flu as well, don’t we?” He coos at the baby, taking the boy’s tiny hands in his and wiggling them up and down. Jisung squeals and grabs Chanyeol’s pinkies with his whole hands.

“Let’s walk to my flat? I have diapers and stuff in case I have to take one of the little ones home.” Sehun suggests, lightly pulling on Chanyeol’s left ear to get his attention.

Turns out, Sehun’s flat is near the park so the walk doesn’t take long. Chanyeol quickly buys ramyun at the convenience store downstairs while Sehun heads up to change Jisung’s diapers.

The evening is nothing like Chanyeol expected. There are no candles and fine wine, no chick-flick atmosphere at an expensive restaurant, no half-drunken walk back home, no giggling and fumbling to take each other’s clothes off and falling into bed. Instead, there is laughter and high-pitched squealing, dirty diapers and a nonsense-babbling baby. There are soft gazes and shy kisses as they cuddle on the couch, a sleeping Jisung in their arms and a random movie playing in the background.

Chanyeol couldn’t have wished for more.

“Give it back!” A voice screams from one of the rooms down the hallway.

“No!” Another voice screams back.

“It’s mine!” The first voice shouts again.

There is rumbling and something crashes on the ground.

“Dad!”

“Papa!”

They cry out at the same time.

Chanyeol grumbles and turns around, throwing his arm over the sleeping form of his husband. It’s still way too early to be awake on a Sunday. However, his sons seem to think otherwise. Two pairs of feet run down the hallway and stop in front of the closed door to the main bedroom. The door swings open and Chanyeol squeezes his eyes shut. Maybe they’ll only wake Sehun so he doesn’t have to deal with whatever they’re arguing about this morning.

He feels the bed dip behind him and soon enough a small body crashes on his back.

“Dad, Jisung took my favourite pencils again. And then he threw them on the ground and now they’re broken!” Chenle whines, shaking his father’s shoulders to wake him up.

“Did not!” The younger boy exclaims somewhere on the other side of the bed. “They fell!”

“But it’s your fault!”

“No!”

“It is!”

“Is not!”

“It is!”

“Is no- ah!” Jisung squeals. Chanyeol feels Sehun moving in his embrace as Jisung laughs hysterically.

“Daaaaad…” Chenle whines again, never ceasing the shaking. Chanyeol turns around all of a sudden and throws his son on the mattress, tickling his sides and tummy until the boy laughs as hard as his little brother.

“Stop!” He cries. “Please stop, dad!”

“Who’s that dad you’re talking about?” Chanyeol asks with a gruff voice.

“Please stop, tickle monster!” Chenle cries out as Chanyeol blows raspberries on his tummy. He stops and pulls the boy on his chest, cuddling him close.

Sehun and Jisung calmed down as well, both nestled under the sheets so only their hair sticks out. Chanyeol shakes his head fondly.

“Dad, my pencils are broken.” Chenle quietly reminds him again, his voice getting drowsy as he jawns a few times.

“I’m sure Renjun will share his pencils with you tomorrow at school.” Chanyeol assures as he strokes his son’s hair to lull him back to sleep. “And we’ll buy new ones in the afternoon.”

Chenle nods slightly and starts to drool on his father’s bare chest. Chanyeol carefully turns them to the side and adjusts his grip on the seven-year-old. He wiggles closer to Sehun and pulls the blanket over them as well with his free hand.

“Morning, babe.” He smiles at his husband. The younger leans over to give him a kiss instead of answering. Chanyeol grins, pecking Sehun’s lips a few more times before he settles down again.

Never had Chanyeol imagined he’d have a husband and two little boys by the time he was thirty.

He’s not complaining, though.