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Don't Let Me Be Lonely Tonight

Summary:

Five times Pepper lost sleep over Bruce and Tony one time she didn't.

Notes:

This is for xxx_cat_xxx, who wanted to see the morning after Whenever I See Your Smiling Face. (I ended up getting a little carried away.) Thanks to Cat for inspiring this and beta reading it!

It's also for the "Pepper Potts" square on my Bruce Banner bingo card and the "5 1" square on my Science Bros bingo card.

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Pepper smiled to herself as she heard Tony's breath level off into sleep. Tony usually passed out immediately after sex; this had been a little irritating early on in their relationship, but now she was just happy whenever Tony managed to get any sleep. She was curled on her side with Tony curled up behind her, an arm tossed loosely over her chest. She knew Bruce was over on Tony's other side, asleep, too, from the sounds of it. She was so happy that they'd finally talked to Bruce about their feelings, that he'd gone out and had a lovely date with them and an even lovelier time after they'd gotten back from the museum gala.

She was nearly asleep when she heard a soft rustle of sheets. She could still feel Tony asleep behind her, so it must be Bruce. Probably just going to the bathroom, she thought. But as she lay there, hazily awaiting his return, she realized he'd been gone for quite some time. She slipped out of bed, careful not to disturb Tony, and quickly realized that the door to the master bathroom was open, with the lights off and no sign of Bruce.

Pepper quickly pulled a nightie over her head, crept out to the hallway on legs that still felt like jelly, and whispered, "JARVIS, where's Bruce?"

When Tony had first explained all of JARVIS's capabilities to her, she'd been kind of creeped out. But she had to admit that JARVIS came in handy, and Tony had promised that JARVIS never kept any recordings of her without her prior consent. (She and Tony had made a few pretty good films.)

"Dr. Banner is in his bedroom."

Pepper sighed.

"If I may add, ma'am...he seems upset. Though well within his safe range."

"Of course he does," she muttered. "Why would he be happy for more than thirty minutes at a time? Uh, thanks, JARVIS."

She made her way down to Bruce's suite and knocked on the door. She waited outside for a long moment, long enough for her to wonder if Bruce had already fallen asleep. But then the door slid open, revealing Bruce in his flannel pajama pants and T-shirt. His hair was adorably mussed from their previous fun. His eyes were clearly red from crying, which was a new development.

"Oh. Hey, Pepper," he said softly.

"Bruce? What's wrong?"

"N-nothing."

She responded to his lie by throwing her arms around him in a tight hug. "Seriously, did we hurt you?" She was a little sore herself, but in a good way. In a very good way.

He sniffed and kept his hands stiffly at his sides. "No."

Pepper sighed. Sometimes Bruce was like a very cute brick wall. "May I come in?"

She felt Bruce's shrug and wrapped her arm around his waist, gently propelling him back into the room. She saw that his sheets were pulled back. Bruce clearly hadn't just come up here to change; he'd planned on sleeping here. Alone. "Bruce, I thought we all talked about how you should stay the night with us. You don't want to snuggle?"

Bruce sat down on the edge of the bed and covered his face with his hands, sobbing quietly.

"Oh, hey, Bruce, it's okay if you don't want to, but I just--" She sat next to him and gently rubbed circles on his back, but his sobs only intensified. "Oh, honey, what's wrong?"

Bruce was now crying too hard to speak, so Pepper just sat with him until he finally caught his breath. She got up to grab a box of tissues for him. He blew his nose and mumbled, "Thanks."

"Bruce? Do you think you could please tell me what you're upset about? If you don't want to sleep with me and Tony, that's okay, really, but please just tell us. Tell me."

"It--I'm sorry, Pepper, it's just too selfish."

She furrowed her eyebrows. "What's too selfish?" She'd rather thought all three of them had been generous lovers to each other.

"To--I don't want to...hurt you. In my sleep."

"Oh. Oh! You're afraid you'll, ah, go green in your sleep?" She remembered Tony had mentioned that being one of Bruce's initial concerns about staying in the Tower. But he had to sleep somewhere, and it seemed like he hadn't had any sleepwalking adventures back in India or wherever he'd been before that. It surely would have made the news, if he had.

Bruce nodded.

Pepper sighed. "But Bruce, you and Tony set up all those protocols for JARVIS. He's monitoring your vitals. If anything comes up, he'll let us know, and...and take care of you. Right?"

Bruce nodded again.

"And JARVIS, has Bruce even come close to a code green in his sleep since he got here?"

"No, ma'am."

"When was the last time you even changed in your sleep? Have you ever even?"

"I...it's been years," Bruce admitted. "At first, I, I don't think the Other Guy really understood the concept of...dreams. But I think he does now."

Pepper ached at the thought of poor Bruce having a nightmare and waking up, confused and alone and green. She squeezed her arms around him. "So what's the problem?"

"It's not a hundred percent! Something could still happen, and I…"

Pepper gently pushed Bruce down onto the bed. She curled up behind him and spoke softly into his ear. "You know, risk management is a big part of my job, and I think being with you is worth whatever negligible risk that entails." She held him as more sobs wracked his body. She added, "And I know Tony does too," although she did not mention that Tony was a much worse judge of risks than Pepper was.

Finally, he caught his breath again and said, "I--I'm sorry. It's been so long since...since...anything, really. Since I shared a bed with another human. Let alone two. It's just kind of...overwhelming."

"How can I help?"

He sniffed. "You've already done so much, you and Tony both, I--"

"I didn't ask what I've already done. I asked how I can help, now." He was quiet, and she said, "Bruce, if you found me sitting alone crying my eyes out, how would you feel?"

"I...I'd want to help. I'd want to make you feel better, if I could."

She kissed his cheek. "Of course you would. So why in the world don't you think I feel the same way about you?"

This triggered a fresh wave of unsteady breathing from Bruce. "S-sorry. It's just...it's just hard to...wrap my head around, I guess."

Pepper bit her lip and thought about what she'd read, what Tony had told her. How many years Bruce had gone without being afforded even basic human decency. How the US Army apparently still didn't even consider him human. The thought nearly brought tears to her own eyes, but she tried to keep her voice soothing as she said, "It's okay, Bruce, let it out. I think you've probably been bottling all this in for awhile, huh?"

He snorted out a laugh through his tears.

She gently rubbed his chest and said, "Okay. Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to stay here and hold you until you tell me you want me to leave. And because you actually want me to leave, not for some self-sacrificial nonsense where you think you have to be alone forever, okay?"

"O-okay," Bruce agreed. "Um...thanks, Pepper."

"Shh. Of course." She tightened her arm around him. She didn't want to move to pull blankets over them, but Bruce was very warm anyway. She lay there and listened as Bruce's sobs eventually tapered off into shaky breaths, and then into the steady rhythm of sleep. She was once again nearly asleep herself when the door slid open, revealing Tony, lit by the glow of the arc reactor, wearing boxers and a confused expression on his face. Pepper carefully lifted her head and placed a single finger to her lips, then beckoned Tony toward the bed. Tony shrugged and slid into bed behind Pepper, planting a kiss on her cheek and pulling the sheets up over the three of them.

"I'll explain in the morning," she whispered.

"I think I got it," Tony whispered back. "Love you."

"Love you, too."

And then Pepper finally drifted into a sound sleep, sandwiched between two men who'd literally saved the world but couldn't seem to believe they deserved any measure of peace for themselves.


2)

For as long as Pepper had known Tony, he'd kept an erratic sleeping schedule. It was to be expected of a playboy like Tony Stark--a lot of partying meant late nights, which meant late mornings, which meant that his personal assistant would do well not to schedule him for anything before noon if at all possible.

After Tony got home from Afghanistan, things were worse than ever. He swore up and down that he was fine, but even on nights when he stayed in, he sent her emails at all times of night and showed up in day-old clothes more often than not.

After Tony went from CEO to superhero, and Pepper went from concerned assistant to concerned girlfriend, she began to see how far Tony's sleeplessness went beyond too many vodka-Red Bulls. She felt terrible that he'd been trying so hard to hide his pain from her. She spent a lot of nights soothing him back to sleep after terrible nightmares that made him wake up screaming.

She'd thought things would improve after he'd cured his palladium poisoning, and for awhile they had. But after the Chitauri attack Tony's nightmares had been worse than ever. Pepper thought that seemed a reasonable reaction to the near-death experience Tony had had, but it still pained her to see him suffering. But she did her best to reassure him when she could (and to sneak an extra espresso shot or two to help cover the lost sleep).

It was hard to watch him suffer, but it was hard, too, to acknowledge that, while she'd once bragged that she did "anything and everything Mr. Stark required," now there were things she simply couldn't do for him. She could do her best to comfort him after his nightmares, but she couldn't do anything to prevent them. She couldn't go back in time and change the traumas that had caused the nightmares in the first place. All she could do was hold him and tell him that he was safe, and she wasn't always sure that was even true.

Despite her best efforts, she'd gotten used to waking up alone--sometimes Tony would give up on sleep entirely and just return to his workshop. Sometimes he'd never come to bed at all, despite her coaxing. She worried about Tony's sleep deprivation, but she wasn't his mother and there were only so many times she could suggest a therapist before she decided to take a break from that endeavor.

A few nights after they'd first convinced Bruce to stay in their bed with him, Pepper stirred awake to the now-familiar sounds of Tony moaning and thrashing. She said, "JARVIS, lights, please," and under the soft lighting of the bedroom, she saw an unfamiliar sight: Tony being comforted by someone other than her.

Tony was burrowing his face into Bruce's chest. Bruce was wrapping his arms around Tony and murmuring something directly into his ear. Tony lifted his head from Bruce's chest and looked up at Pepper. She saw relief wash over his face. She heard Bruce say, "See? Pepper's right here. Everyone's okay."

"Mm-hmm," Tony agreed sleepily. Pepper felt a little clutch at her heart; of course, she wished Tony didn't have the nightmares, but it was sort of sweet that he worried about her, even in his sleep.

Pepper reached over and rubbed Tony's shoulders. Bruce put one of his soft, strong hands over hers. Bruce repeated, "Everything's okay, Tony, you're safe. We're all safe." Pepper liked the sound of Bruce's voice, lower and more gravelly than Tony's. Bruce often sounded hesitant when he spoke, but he was confident as he reassured Tony.

And he was right: they were okay. They were safe. They were all right where they belonged, Pepper thought, as she curled around Tony and drifted back to sleep, lulled by the resonant sound of Bruce's continued reassurances.


3)

"Master Stark, Agent Fury is overriding my protocols," JARVIS announced.

"It's dinnertime," Tony complained.

"Stark, it's urgent, pick up your damn phone," Fury said over the kitchen speakers.

Tony rolled his eyes but pulled out his phone. He glanced at the screen, raised his eyebrows, and held the phone to his ear. "Seriously? It's--okay, fine, I'm on my way. No, you...ah, okay, I'll tell him."

He hung up and stood from the table. "Sorry. Duty calls."

Bruce stood too and Tony shook his head. "Nah, big guy, you're getting off easy tonight. SHIELD doesn't think they'll need a Hulk or a brilliant human physicist for this one. But Fury said to be on standby."

"Oh. Okay," Bruce said uncertainly.

Tony kissed Bruce and said, "I'll be fine. Just stay here and keep Pepper company, okay?"

Tony kissed Pepper, too. "Where are you going?" she asked.

"I'll tell you all about it later!" Tony called, as he ran out of the room.

"So dramatic," Pepper groused, but it failed to get a reaction from Bruce.

Bruce sat back down and stared at his plate of half-eaten pasta.

"Bruce? You okay?"

He didn't respond.

"Hey, it's a good thing that Fury didn't think they'd need the Other Guy. I'm sure Tony and whoever else will have it under control."

"Mmm."

"Bruce, talk to me, what's going on?"

"Sorry, I--I'm kind of freaking out, so, I think I'm going to, uh…" he trailed off and left the table.

"What? Bruce, finish your sentence!" Pepper said, following him. "What do you mean you're freaking out?"

"I--well, not me, exactly, but, well, Hulk really doesn't like the idea of Tony being in danger without, um, him, us, there. And I just…tsss." He hissed and clutched his head.

"Oh." Pepper blinked. She was used to Tony being the dramatic, overly-protective one. "But he'll be fine, he always is."

"I-I know, thanks, Pepper, I'm just going to go to, um, my room."

"Okay, let's go."

"Um. Pepper. I mean the Hulk-proof room. You can't come."

"What, because there's not enough room for me?" she asked, teasingly. She'd never seen Bruce's Hulk room but she understood that it took up most of one of the sub-basement floors.

"Because it's dangerous," Bruce growled as he stalked down the hallway. Pepper raised her eyebrows. Bruce had never spoken to her with that tone; it reminded her that Bruce was more than met the eye.

There was no way Pepper could have chased the Hulk and won, but she definitely did more cardio than Bruce, and she easily caught up with him. She followed him into the elevator, all the way down to the retina scanner at the entrance of the heavily-reinforced room Bruce and Tony had designed for just this purpose. As far as she knew, it was the first time Bruce had even thought about using it.

The door slid open and Bruce walked in. Pepper forced her way through after him; she suspected JARVIS was on her side. Bruce sank to his knees on the cold steel floor. "Pepper, please, please just go."

"Bruce. You're not going to hurt me. I don't want you to be alone. You don't have to be alone."

He let out a groan and curled into a fetal position, wrapping his arms tightly around himself. She knelt beside him and rubbed his shoulders. She glanced around the room; it was completely devoid of furniture or any creature comforts, just a big metal cell.

"Pepper, please, I…I don't want you to see me like this."

"Change if you need to, Bruce. I'll be here. Hulk won't hurt me." She hoped she was doing the right thing. She was sure that Hulk wouldn't hurt her but she was equally sure that Bruce wouldn't change if she were there. She wondered if it might be better for him to just let the Hulk out already? "Do you want to let him out? You can. That's what this room is for, you know."

"Not right now...I'd rather be on call. In case T...anyone needs me. Us. Him. But just in case I can't hold him back, I...I want to be in here." Bruce breathed heavily. "Alone. Please, Pepper."

Pepper heard the anguish in Bruce's voice and gritted her teeth. Maybe she was doing more harm than good? But from everything she knew of Bruce, she really didn't think she should abandon him right now. Her gut told her to stay where she was. "You won't hurt me, Bruce. C'mon, don't shut me out. Tell me what I can do to help."

He repeated, "I don't want you to see me like this." In a small, barely audible voice, he added, "It's embarrassing."

There it was. Bruce wasn't going to hurt Pepper, but he might hurt his own pride. "Bruce. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. You're being so brave and so strong. And Hulk is so brave, too, wanting to protect Tony. You should be proud of him. But I'd be embarrassed if I left you alone in this, this cell." She made a mental note to ask Tony to put some fucking furniture in here, or at least a rug. She didn't want to mention it now, lest Bruce think she was complaining about sitting on the cold metal floor with him.

Pepper gently stroked Bruce's hair. He made a soft sound and pressed his head back up against her hand. "What do you usually do when you're feeling like this?"

He snorted. "There's no usually for this, Pepper. Usually I wake up by myself in the middle of nowhere with a trail of destruction behind me."

"Well. That was then, this is now. What if you got out of your head and focused more attention on your body? Yoga, sex, maybe run a few laps?"

Bruce let out a sound that was almost a laugh. "I really wish I were a person who could say yes to any of that right now."

Pepper smiled. Bruce was sounding more like himself already. "Well, I wish aliens would stop attacking earth and interrupting dinner, but we can't always get what we want." She kept running one hand through Bruce's hair but used the other to discreetly text JARVIS, asking him to ask Tony to call or give a status update whenever he could. She slipped her phone back in her pocket and shifted to sit cross-legged, and gently urged Bruce's head up onto her lap. He let out a little sigh and rubbed his cheek against her thigh. For all that he said he wanted to be alone, he was clearly enjoying her touch, and she kept it up, happy to provide any comfort.

"I don't like it either, you know," she said. "I don't like being left behind when you guys put yourselves in danger."

"It's...I don't want to fight," Bruce said. "I've never wanted that. But Hulk does. Or he...hmph."

Pepper thought about what she knew about the Hulk, what she'd read, what she'd heard from Tony and from Bruce (who tended to have very different opinions about the big green guy), and she asked, "Hey. If I talk out loud to Hulk, can he hear me? Through you?"

"I think so…"

"Hey, Hulk? I just want to thank you for always taking such good care of Bruce, and of Tony, and everyone else. But you don't need to do that today, even though it's so brave of you to want to do that."

Bruce's breathing sped up, then slowed. He made a choked sound. He shifted his weight and reached a hand up to squeeze her knee. She covered his hand with hers and stroked his knuckles.

She continued, "I know how you feel, Hulk. I wish I could go out and protect Tony and Bruce too, but I can't usually do that. So why don't you let me take care of Bruce tonight, and let some of the other Avengers take care of Tony? And if they screw it up too bad, I know they'll call you, but for right now you can rest, okay?"

Bruce's breathing was erratic, but she thought it sounded closer to crying than to signs of an impending Hulk-out. She kept her mental fingers crossed.

"Hey, JARVIS, could you play one of my meditation podcasts?" she asked. Soon the cavernous room resonated with a gentle voice encouraging them to imagine ocean waves and breathe in sync with them. Bruce followed the instructions and eventually went limp in her lap. It was still fairly early in the evening for sleep, but she had to imagine the kind of mental acrobatics he'd been doing with Hulk were exhausting. She was glad he'd found a moment of peace.

She sat there with Bruce, scrolling through her phone and waiting for any word from Tony. Occasionally she tried to adjust her position or do small stretches, anything to give her stiff body some relief without disturbing Bruce.

Finally, she got word from Tony that he was fine, that everything was fine, and he was on his way back home. And then he was there, in the Hulk room, still armored up minus the helmet. He squatted on the floor next to them.

Pepper quickly scanned him for visible injuries, found none, and said, "Honey, why didn't you and Bruce put any furniture in this room?"

"It's good to see you too, sweetheart. Bruce didn't want any. He said Hulk would just wreck it and, well, I didn’t think he’d really use this room. I thought he’d just like to know it was here."

"Well. First thing tomorrow, let’s get some cushions in here at least."

"You got it," Tony agreed. He leaned in to kiss her. "What, uh, happened? Everything okay?"

"Bruce said Hulk was worried about you."

"Aww, that's sweet."

"But Bruce didn't want to Hulk out, so. Here we are."

"Is he tranquilized?"

"What? No, he just got sick of fighting with himself and fell asleep, I think. Wait, do we have tranquilizers for him?!"

"Oh, JARVIS would have taken care of it," Tony said vaguely. Pepper made a mental note to look into that later. Tony reached forward and stroked Bruce's cheek. "Brucie, wake up!"

Bruce stirred and then shot up into a kneeling position. "Oh!" He flung his arms around Tony, a bigger show of physical affection than Bruce usually initiated.

"You miss me?" Tony asked.

"Little bit," Bruce admitted with a shy smile, just barely visible over Tony's armored shoulder.

Tony beamed and kissed him. "Likewise. Hey, so, think we can go on up to bed, or were you planning on camping out down here all night? 'Cause if we're staying down here, I'm going to get some sleeping bags or something."

"No. No, yeah, bed sounds good right now. Are you okay, Tony? How did everything go?"

"I'm fine. Great, now that I'm home. It was no big deal," Tony said. "Honestly, I need to talk to Fury about what constitutes an emergency...hey, need a hand?"

It took Bruce and Pepper a moment to make their way to standing; her feet had fallen asleep and Bruce just seemed generally disoriented. Pepper was definitely going to schedule massages for all of them tomorrow. For tonight, though, Tony stripped off the armor and they all eventually made it up to their bedroom. They collapsed into a heap, happy to be reunited.


4)

"Pep, what's up, everything okay?" Tony asked.

Pepper looked up. She realized she'd been staring blankly at her plate for...maybe awhile? "Hmm? Oh...ugh, yeah, just kind of...I don't know, kind of worried about the shareholders meeting tomorrow, I guess?"

"Worried? About what? You've always been way better at those meetings than me," Tony said. His tone was frank and proud, not at all embarrassed that Pepper was better at running his company than he had been. She loved Tony so much.

"I know. Yeah. I don't know, just feeling kind of stressed?" Pepper pursed her lips thoughtfully as she took her last few bites of salmon. "I think I'm going to sleep in one of the guest rooms tonight, just to make sure I get a good night's sleep before the thing."

Tony recoiled. "What? That's a terrible idea. If you want a good night's sleep, you should just have some really mind-blowing sex, you'll pass right out afterwards. And I happen to know just where you could get some of that."

"No, I'm too stressed to be horny. Anyway, you're the one who passes out after sex. That's not universal!"

"Well, still, any strenuous activity would tire you out and help you sleep...back me up, Bruce."

"Um...I could just go sleep in my old room for the night?" Bruce offered. "You shouldn't have to leave your room."

"Then where am I going to sleep?" Tony asked with a dramatic pout.

"No, no, it's not about either of you," Pepper said. She should have known that these two would take her request personally: Tony didn't understand wanting to be alone; Bruce understood it, but took everything personally. She forced a smile. "Seriously, I just want a little time to myself. I'll be thrilled to see you tomorrow after the meeting, okay? Just give me a kiss for luck." Bruce and Tony both complied with that request, and Pepper went off to gather the stuff she'd need for a night in a different bedroom.

She went over all her notes one more time. She spritzed the new bed with lavender pillow spray. She had JARVIS cue up a meditation podcast, and she settled in for an early night. And then she tossed and turned.

Finally, she asked, "Ugh, JARVIS, turn off the podcast, would you?" Immediately, the soothing voice stopped asking Pepper to empty her mind. She climbed out of the soft, but unfamiliar guest bed she'd exiled herself into and padded to the kitchen. She found Bruce sitting at the table with a magazine, waiting for his kettle to boil. He looked up at her with a surprised smile.

"Hey, Pepper, everything okay?"

She sighed. "Just can't fall asleep, despite my best efforts."

"Oh, no. Can I help? Tea? Wine? Melatonin? Backrub? Sedative?"

She smiled. "Maybe let's start with the tea. Thanks."

The kettle whistled obligingly and he prepared two cups of chamomile. "I used to have this thing where if I really needed to sleep, like before an exam or something, I'd get so anxious about getting enough sleep that I wouldn't be able to sleep at all. Just a terrible loop," Bruce said sympathetically.

"It's been awhile since I've felt like this. I'm just so stressed," Pepper said.

"What's going on?"

"I'm not sure. I mean, it is a big deal presentation, but I've made tons of them before, and I...well, I thought I was past all of this."

"All of what?"

"Well...you know, when I was first appointed CEO...a lot of people didn't take me very seriously."

"Really?"

"Well, yeah, I mean...the jump from PA to CEO? It's a big one, and it's hard enough for women CEOs who worked their way up the ladder the so-called right way."

"Oh. Of course, I'm sorry, I didn't think of that. It's just...well, I couldn't imagine not taking you seriously."

"That's why I love you."

Bruce smiled and ducked his head. He was adorable, but his terrible poker face would have served him very poorly in the business world. "So...now everyone takes you seriously, though, right? So do you have a specific concern or just...general anxiety?"

"I guess it must just be the latter," Pepper said. "I can't think of anything specific. It's just a shareholders meeting, I've done them before, my presentation is all good to go…"

"Do you want to go over your presentation with me?"

"Well, that would put you to sleep," Pepper said wryly. Bruce was very smart and very sweet and very uninterested in business.

"Hmm. I could tell you about my doctoral thesis?"

"Oh, no, I know you, you'd get too excited about it. Even if I didn't understand a word you were saying, you'd be saying words in a really cute way."

Bruce nodded gravely. "I remember, my advisor gave me that exact same feedback."

She laughed and sipped her tea.

"You know, it can be hard to sleep in an unfamiliar setting. Maybe you should sleep in the master bedroom and Tony and I can go elsewhere?"

"Oh, that can't be it, I sleep in hotel rooms all the time." She sighed. "Hey. You said you used to have that sleep anxiety loop problem? How'd you fix it?"

"Oh. Well...I guess these days, I never really have...anywhere to be at a particular time?" Bruce said sheepishly. "Or at least, when I do, I find out on short notice. I mean, I'm still....obviously anxious about...some things, but my schedule just isn't one of them anymore. Not like when I was in school. Definitely not like when I was working for the Army."

Pepper blinked. The Army. That was what was different about this upcoming shareholders meeting, what had been troubling her in the back of her mind. Rhodey had mentioned that some other military representatives were going to be at the meeting. Even though SI hadn't made weapons since Tony's return from Afghanistan, they sometimes still showed interest in SI's consumer tech. Pepper had never been especially comfortable with SI's relationship with the military, and she'd hated seeing the efforts the government had gone through to try to get the Iron Man suit away from Tony. But thinking about how the Army had treated Bruce...her vision almost whited out with fury.

"Bruce, you know you're safe here, right?"

Bruce tilted his head. "Well...sure, as safe as it's possible for me to be, I guess. Um. Why do you ask?"

She shrugged. "Just checking."

He regarded her curiously but didn't ask any other questions, just sipped his tea. Pepper loved Tony, of course; she loved his energy and his enthusiasm and his openness. But she loved Bruce's ability to sit in companionable silence, the way he let her sit with her thoughts until she was ready to speak.

Eventually, she sighed and decided to share her dawning realization. "I--I just remembered that some people from the DOD are going to be at the board meeting tomorrow. I think I'm--well, it just makes me so mad, how they treated you."

"Aww. It wasn't the whole Department of Defense out to get me, you know."

"Well, none of them helped you!"

"I had some help," Bruce said quietly.

"Well. Anyway, I'm glad SI stopped making weapons. I--the military is supposed to protect us. But instead people like you and Tony have to do it! And I just…" Bruce slipped behind her and started rubbing her shoulders. "Mmm."

"It's very kind of you to worry about me," Bruce said.

"I'm not kind or worried," Pepper corrected. "I'm mad." Pepper had always been good at compartmentalizing, and for awhile she'd managed to lock away all the stuff Tony had told her about Bruce, when he'd first come to Stark Tower. The stuff about how the Army considered Bruce himself to be stolen property. But now she was remembering, and if they ever tried to come take him back, they were going to have to go through Pepper.

Bruce's voice was warm as he said, "I know something about that." He kept massaging her shoulders as he said, "Anyway, I guess I'm not sure what goes on at a board meeting, to be honest, but if it makes you feel any better I think now I'm SHIELD's property, not the Army's."

"You're nobody's property, Bruce, you're a person."

"Well, that's one opinion," Bruce said lightly. "Seriously, I'm in a better position than I've ever had. And if Ross--if--well, I've hidden from him before, I can do it again."

"But I don't want you to hide. You shouldn't have to."

"Well. Like I was saying, I don't think I will. I'm pretty sure SHIELD outranks the Army, so. If that's what you're worried about...maybe find a new worry?"

She sighed. "I'll see what I can do."

"I think Tony might be inventing a new element again, so."

"That actually worked out pretty well last time?"

"Hmm. The bees are dying?"

"Still? Shit."

"Yeah. But you can worry about that later."

"Mmm. Good point." Pepper reached back and stopped Bruce's hand on her shoulder. "I think I'm ready to try bed again. Are you coming?"

"Oh, me? I thought you wanted to sleep alone."

"On rare occasions, I have been known to make mistakes. Come to bed! I wanna be big spoon."

"Well...if you're sure, I was planning on going to bed after I finished my tea." Bruce took one last gulp of his tea. "I don't think Tony will be coming for awhile, though. I had to tap out for the night, but he's pretty invested in his project."

"We'll make do."

They went back to their bedroom. Bruce got changed for bed and snuggled into Pepper's waiting arms. She held him to her tightly, like the overgrown teddy bear that he was. Bruce fell asleep quickly. Pepper lay awake for awhile, listening to Bruce's steady breaths and going over her presentation one last time in her head. Then Tony climbed into bed. He smugly whispered, "See? This is much more comfortable than the guest room." She laughed quietly and finally drifted off, reassured that all was well with her world.


5)

Pepper paced around the penthouse. Tony had recently called to tell her that he and Bruce were finally coming home from their latest Avengers mission. They'd been gone for almost two days, and she'd started to get a little frantic without any updates.

The penthouse door opened, and Tony, still in his armor, entered. He was carrying Bruce in his arms, and he gently set him down on the bed. Pepper hurried over to stand by them. Tony lifted his faceplate and Pepper leaned in for a kiss. "It's incredible to see you, Pep. Love you."

"Love you too. Is Bruce okay?"

"He...will be fine," Tony said. "He just had to stay green for, uh, longer than usual. He just needs to sleep it off."

"What about you? Can you take that armor off so I can take a look at you?"

"I'm fine, but, uh, I'm so sorry Pepper, I have to go."

"What do you mean? You just got here."

"There's a, uh, I have a bit of cleanup left to do. I just came back because I needed to get a few specialized tools from my workshop, and, well, I'd rather not leave Bruce with SHIELD when he's in this condition."

"Tony, seriously, there's no one else who can do this?"

"I wish there was," Tony replied. He kissed her again. "I'll be back before you know it, though. Probably before he wakes up, even. Um, when he does wake up, though, he'll need to eat. A lot."

"Okay. I can manage that."

"I know. I'll see you soon, I swear!" Tony ran off, leaving her alone with Bruce. Pepper looked at his sleeping form. He looked so vulnerable in the track pants and MIT hoodie; Tony must have dressed him at some point. She carefully tucked him in under the blankets, but he was out so deeply he didn't seem to notice at all. He was like a rag doll in her arms.

Once she'd gotten him settled, she dragged an armchair over to sit at the bedside. Pepper hated every minute of her bedside vigil. How had this become her life? She'd been a temp, filling in at SI until she found something better. But then "something better" had turned into personal assistant, into CEO. It had turned into girlfriend of a superhero, and then girlfriend of two superheroes. She hadn't asked for any of this. She took a brief moment to imagine working for Microsoft and having a normal boyfriend who did, oh, maybe sales. But she immediately dismissed that boring idea.

She got her laptop and tried sorting through emails to distract herself from the agony of waiting. She'd slept fitfully the night before. She'd already been waiting for thirty hours before Tony and Bruce had come back at all. The waiting wasn't better or worse now that Bruce was here; she was glad that he was alive, but now she feared that she might drift off to sleep and miss hearing him if he needed her. And there was still the question of what Tony was doing. Was he safe? Would he come back soon?

It was better to focus on supply chain management than those other questions, the ones she couldn't do anything about.

Hours later, Bruce finally stirred. He sat up in bed and blinked at Pepper. She smiled. "Hey, Bruce. How are you feeling?"

He licked his lips and silently opened and closed his mouth a few times, as if he were practicing speaking. He looked disoriented. Pepper had never been around Bruce immediately after he woke up from a Hulk-out. He hadn't done it many times since coming to New York, and he'd always returned to the Tower after having some recovery time elsewhere. Then, he'd always been tired, but more like he'd gotten back from a long workout. This was something else.

"Hey, it's me, you're safe. Here, drink some water."

She pressed a bottle of water into his hand. He looked at it with confusion before taking a cautious sip. Finally, his voice hoarse, he asked, "How...many?"

"How many what?"

"How many...people did I hurt?"

"Oh, Bruce. None. You didn't hurt anybody."

He looked at her warily. "Hulk, I mean."

"Hulk didn't hurt anyone. Anyone except the, uh, nanobots, I guess they were?"

Bruce crossed his arms, still wary. She sighed. "Seriously. The Avengers got civilians cleared before, you know, it got messy. Anyway, I answered your question, you answer mine. How are you? Still hungry? Thirsty?"

He nodded. "What about Tony? Where's Tony?"

"Tony's fine. He's...he had to fix something." Pepper still wasn't sure what exactly Tony was doing, but probably he was fixing something. He usually was. "Drink some more water."

Bruce obediently sipped from the water bottle.

"Now. Are you hungry?"

He nodded again.

"Okay. There's some leftover Chinese. Does that sound good?"

He nodded eagerly. "Yes. Thanks."

Pepper leaned over and kissed his cheek. "I'll be right back."

She microwaved a tofu dish and put it on a tray, alongside some noodles that she thought Bruce would prefer cold. She dug around the kitchen and came up with some dried fruit and two boxes of Girl Scout cookies. When she returned to the bedroom, Bruce was still sitting up in bed, reading through his tablet with a concerned look on his face. She took the tablet out of his hand and set the tray down on his lap.

"Thanks," he said. He ate the food quickly, with a joyless urgency that hurt to watch. Bruce was usually--well, maybe not quite a gourmand, but someone who liked to savor his food, someone who would comment on a unique flavor profile or try to figure out what spices he was tasting. Someone who was more fun to eat out with than Tony, who favored simpler fare. Post-Hulk Bruce was apparently not so refined.

He looked up at her when all the takeout cartons were empty. He looked slightly more aware of his surroundings, but still…off.

"Still hungry? Want me to order something else?"

Bruce blinked at her, clearly overwhelmed. She supposed that was fair; they did live within delivery range of a huge number of restaurants. Pepper perched on the edge of the bed and gave Bruce a kiss on the cheek. She was very good at making decisions. "What about that burger place, with the Impossible Burgers? You could probably use some more protein, and I'm sure Tony won't say no to a cheeseburger when he gets back."

Bruce nodded. Pepper placed an order, and Bruce demolished the dried fruit while they waited. She picked up the delivery order at the door and brought it back to Bruce. She quickly changed into yoga pants and a T-shirt, then got into bed next to him. He ate his second dinner at a more reasonable pace, and observed, "Mm, I love this spicy mustard. You want to try it?"

Some of the worry that had gripped Pepper's heart melted away when she heard Bruce's inner foodie reemerge. "No thanks. I'm skipping to dessert." She opened the Thin Mints and popped one in her mouth. Bruce finished off his veggie burger and fries, and she asked, "You good? Want to order anything else?"

"Nah...but I'll take some of those Thin Mints, if you're sharing."

"Hmm...well, seeing as you just saved the world again, I suppose I would be willing to share up to six Thin Mints with you."

"Wow, thank you," Bruce said solemnly.

She handed him a stack of cookies. "Sucker. Can't believe you didn't even try to negotiate. I would have gone as high as eight."

"Oh, I know I'm not qualified to negotiate on your level," Bruce said with his familiar, self-deprecating smile. "But I might have tried it anyway if you had Samoas."

Pepper smiled back at him. It was such a relief to have her Bruce back after those worrisome hours. If only Tony would return too, she could fully relax. Apparently Bruce felt similarly, because after he ate his cookies, he asked, "Did you hear anything from Tony?"

She shook her head. "But I'm sure he's fine."

"Right." Bruce yawned and stretched. Pepper took the empty tray away and stuck it on the bedside table.

"You want to go back to sleep? Go for it," she said, stifling a yawn of her own. "I don't know how long you usually need to sleep after this kind of thing, but your schedule is clear."

"I don't really know either," Bruce admitted. "It's...it definitely takes a lot out of me, and I think I was...this one was a lot, I think. But waking up with you by my side is a lot nicer than most of my post-Hulk mornings have been. Er, afternoons? What time is it?"

"I'm glad I could help. And it's actually evening." Pepper smiled and leaned in for a kiss. Then she laid down and gently pulled Bruce to her chest, where he happily curled up and closed his eyes. Pepper reached out to check her phone one last time; no word from Tony.

She mumbled, "JARVIS, wake me up when Tony gets home. Or if there's any news."

"Certainly, ma'am."

"Thanks." Pepper closed her eyes and was almost immediately overtaken by sleep.

She awoke when Tony slid into bed beside her. Bruce was still asleep on top of her, so she stayed still and quiet as she angrily murmured, "Tony! I told JARVIS to wake me up when there was any news!"

"Well, I told him to ignore that and let you sleep," Tony replied quietly. He leaned over to kiss her. "I'm fine. How's Sleeping Beauty?"

"Okay. He slept for a few hours, ate a ton of food, and then passed out again."

"Lucky him," Tony said drily.

"You're really okay? You don't have any broken bones or anything?"

"Nothing a few good kisses can't cure."

Pepper smiled as Tony leaned over and kissed her. He was gentle, careful not to disturb Bruce.

Tony murmured, "That was pretty good. But I'm filing a formal request for more kisses in the morning. Or whenever the big guy wakes up and gives you a little more freedom of motion."

"Sounds like a plan," Pepper agreed. "Wait, are you hungry? There's a burger in the fridge for you."

"JARVIS already told me. I thoroughly enjoyed it."

"Oh. Good."

"Good night, honey." Tony rolled over on his side and nestled close to Pepper, throwing an arm over her and Bruce.

"Good night, Tony. Welcome home." She drifted back to sleep, reassured that both of her heroes had made it home to her safely.


*)

"So, trust me, to avoid jet lag, we should try to get some sleep on this flight," Pepper said, a few hours into their trip.

"How long of a flight is this? Where are we going?" Tony asked.

"It's a surprise," Pepper repeated. "For your birthday. But it will be an overnight flight, so...sleep."

"I'm just going to stretch my legs first," Tony said. He walked up to the cockpit. Pepper rolled her eyes. She knew the pilot wouldn't give up her surprise, but she knew Tony would want to keep trying.

"You okay, Bruce?" she asked. She knew Bruce didn't like surprises, and it wasn't his birthday, so he knew they were headed to Venice. He'd seemed excited about the trip before they left, but he'd looked miserable ever since they'd left New York.

"Oh. Yeah, I just, um, not a big fan of, um, flying?" he admitted.

"Bruce, you didn't tell me that!"

"I--I mean, I wanted to come. It's Tony's birthday and all, I just…" he trailed off and twisted his hands together.

"Pepper, you really put the fear of God into that pilot, I'll give you that," Tony said, returning to the soft leather couch they were sharing on the private jet.

Pepper smiled. "You'll find out when we get there. But for now, you should try to sleep."

Bruce squirmed. "Maybe."

"Well, I'll make us some nightcaps," Tony said. He busied himself with a cocktail shaker.

"You want a Xanax?" Pepper asked. "I always travel with them."

Bruce shook his head. "I'd better not...I don't always metabolize medications the way normal humans do."

Pepper tsked. "I can't believe you didn't mention this earlier."

"It's not a big deal. I'm just going to listen to some podcasts."

Tony and Pepper sipped their drinks, while Bruce had tea. Tony fired off ridiculous guesses about their destination; Pepper denied all of them, while Bruce kept silent. She wished there was something she could do to help Bruce, but...he'd be fine. There were worse fates than a sleepless night on a luxurious private plane, they all knew that firsthand.

Eventually Tony reclined the couch, and he and Pepper both curled up against Bruce. They both managed to get a handful of hours of sleep before they landed in Venice, where a driver took them to their rented villa.

"Venice! Pepper, you remembered," Tony said wistfully. "Bruce, have you ever been to Venice?"

"Mm? No, don't think so," Bruce mumbled.

"Last year, no, was it two years ago? God, time flies...anyway, I told Pepper we should just cancel my birthday party and go to Venice…but it's better now anyway, since you're here too."

Tony leaned over and kissed Bruce's cheek. Bruce blinked; he looked rumpled and sleepy, like someone who hadn't managed to get a moment's sleep on the flight. But he smiled at Tony and said, "Well...glad we could make it." Pepper had told him some of the story; she hadn't gone into detail about how bad Tony had been spiraling that year. She preferred to focus on how much better things were this year.

Pepper said, "So, let's drop off our bags and go get breakfast. There's supposed to be an excellent cafe nearby."

Bruce yawned widely. "Hey, I think I'm just gonna take a nap while you guys eat. I’ll catch up with you later."

"No! Bruce, you can't take a nap, that's the first rule of jet lag. It's 9 AM here," Pepper said. She'd scheduled their overnight flight perfectly. "You've got to stay awake today until bedtime, otherwise you'll be messed up for the whole trip. Don't you know that? I thought you travelled a lot."

"Well. Not like this," Bruce said. He scrubbed his face with his hand. "When I’ve traveled in the past, uh, jet lag has been pretty much the least of my worries."

"It's fine, you've got this," Tony said. "You've pulled all-nighters in the lab. We'll just get you some coffee. Maybe a shower before breakfast?"

"Mm. Okay, yeah, a shower sounds good. And coffee after."

"In that case, we'll go with you, just to make sure you don't fall asleep standing up," Tony added, with a lascivious purr to his voice. He shot a quick glance at Pepper, who nodded. She'd ensured that the villa they'd booked had a bathroom almost as nice as the one in the Stark Tower penthouse. And she always enjoyed it when she had the time to indulge in a long shower, particularly one that seemed likely to inspire some shower sex.

Sure enough, once they got settled in the huge marble shower, Bruce sleepily knelt to take Tony's cock in his mouth. Tony laughed. "For the record, this isn't what I was angling for, but if this is what wakes you up--aah, god, Bruce, mmph."

Pepper bit her lip and watched. She knew some women sought out porn featuring men together; that had never been her thing, but watching Bruce and Tony together was different. Maybe because she knew she could always jump in and participate if she wanted? Maybe because she was so attracted to both of them? Whatever the reason: she was into it.

Pepper rinsed her hair and stepped closer to her lovers. She pressed up against Tony’s side, enjoying his slick, warm wetness against her. "Oh, fuck, Jesus, Bruce," Tony moaned. He twisted his hands in Bruce’s wet curls, and she smiled as she watched the blissed out expression on Tony's face as an orgasm crashed over him. She was definitely getting wet from more than the shower.

Bruce rose to his feet. He licked his lips and offered a shy smile. "Happy birthday, Tony," he said, blinking under the warm water.

"The day's just getting started," Tony replied. He looked down at Bruce's soft dick. "Bruce, what the fuck, you're not into it?"

"Sorry, just...pretty tired."

"I bet I can change that," Tony said, a determined glint in his eyes. "Pepper? How you doing?"

"Mm, I'm ready to go, but let's get out of the shower, though, I'm starting to get pruny," Pepper said. "And this villa has a really nice bed."

They dried off and made their way to the bed. In the interest of maintaining the surprise, Pepper had packed a bag for Tony for this trip. It was a task she thought she'd left behind when she'd accepted the CEO job, but she hadn't minded revisiting it just this once. She opened a compartment and pulled out a Zip-lock bag of lube and other fun birthday gifts.

"Ooh, Pepper, you knew exactly what I wanted," Tony said with delight. "We’ll just have some morning wakeup sex to get Bruce back on his feet and then we’ll go see Venice." He opened the bag and the three of them set about putting its contents to good use.

Afterward, Pepper stretched her arms out over her head and yawned. Somewhere in her post-orgasmic haze, an annoying thought occurred to her, regarding the way her men usually responded to sex. She suddenly suspected that the concept of "wakeup sex" was a scam. She lifted her head to look and, sure enough, Bruce and Tony both looked about 90% asleep.

"Hey! This was supposed to be wakeup sex!" she said. "It's lunchtime here!"

"So we'll take a siesta. We’re in Europe," Tony said.

"That's Spain," Bruce mumbled. He didn't bother to open his eyes.

"Well...it's my birthday. We can have a multi-cultural celebration and do as the Spanish do. Vis-a-vis naps, anyway. Anyway, you're the one who's always telling me I need to get more sleep."

Pepper looked at them and felt her irritation fade into fondness. They looked so sweet curled up together. It was Tony's birthday, and she had really only gotten a few hours of sleep on the plane. And for once, she wasn't traveling for business. There was really no reason why she had to get immediately acclimated to the new time zone, no meeting or presentation awaiting her. Anyway, as comfortable as the private jet was, this bed was better. And they’d never gotten around to having any coffee.

"Fine," she said. "But I'm setting an alarm! Just a short nap and then we have to get up."

"Mm-hmm, short nap," Tony agreed.

Bruce let out a small snore.

Pepper laughed, but after she set the alarm, she snuggled against Tony's back and almost immediately fell asleep herself. They'd have a whole week to be awake in Venice; they might as well indulge themselves in a nap.

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