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The Kirk/Spock Fanfiction Archive
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Published:
2014-07-22
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2014-07-22
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6/6
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You Belong With Me

Summary:

An innocent misunderstanding leads to Jim interfering with Spock’s reluctantly arranged marriage, inadvertently exposing a deeply-held cultural secret. However, it also leads to a surprisingly logical proposal. Now, they’re together, and just have to work out the details. And then there’s an unexpected complication. Good thing they’re on shore leave.

Chapter 1: A Complicated Problem, And A Logical Solution

Chapter Text

(posted on ksarchive.com on 27 March 2014)

 

Chapter One: A Complicated Problem, And A Logical Solution

 

     Spock adjusted the high collar of his dark gray tunic, taking advantage of the solitude of the gardens to indulge in a touch of very human fidgeting. He had arrived quite early, with the excuse that it was only logical to personally acquaint himself with the lush greenery and brilliant flowers that were this planet’s hallmark before his meeting. However, the shimmering clear water running along the shaded path did not draw his eye; nor did the exotic birds singing sweetly in the whispering treetops overhead. His attention was completely focused on the task at hand.

     This task, which could ultimately mean his life. His father had sent him a message several weeks before, informing him of the latest hardship that had befallen his people. The recent tragedy of losing their homeworld was now compounded by the tragedy of losing a number of unbonded males to abrupt onsets of particularly vicious cycles of pon farr. And although Spock had not yet felt any stirrings of his Vulcan blood in that respect, his father quite logically insisted that he be prepared. This was easier said than done, however. Unbonded Vulcan females were few and far between, the first officer of the Enterprise was half-human, and he would be largely absent from any resultant family life due to his duties. But his father was the ambassador to the Federation, and, as humans would say, “pulled some strings”.

     And so, on the second day of his shore leave, Spock waited to meet with T’Heru, a Vulcan woman whose travels as a professional musician had saved her from her planet’s destruction, but not from the severing of her bond with her late husband. T’Heru’s mother was in the diplomatic corps, and knew Sarek personally, and an introduction had been arranged.

     Spock was strangely reluctant. Despite this being the most logical course of action, he did not wish to tie himself to a stranger whom he would see only infrequently. His relationship with Nyota had taught him that his human side required...attention. He knew, however, that his father would not accept such a reason, and he knew that this may be his only remaining opportunity to secure a mate of Vulcan blood, who would understand and be able to handle the hidden requirements of his secretive physiology. Kaiidth. An arranged marriage would be infinitely preferable to dying painfully of fever. He straightened and swallowed, his hands flexing slightly, thinking of a conversation with his former lover. Nyota was well-versed in Vulcan culture and fluent in its language, and she had loved him. But, she had not understood him. Particularly after his catastrophic loss of control when the captain died, she had not accepted that although he could choose not to feel where their relationship was concerned, his barriers were tenuous when Jim was involved. Spock had sensed jealousy from her, and anger, which had been illogical. Jim was his friend, a thing rarely acknowledged or even admitted amongst Vulcans, and a unique relationship which was independent of anything shared between himself and Nyota. Or so he had unsuccessfully argued.

     The sound of footsteps from the nearby pathway had him schooling his expression into careful impassivity, and he straightened his posture even more, clasping his hands behind his back. But, the footsteps were somehow too quick, with an audible eagerness to them, and Spock sensed the familiar presence an instant before it appeared around the corner, breathless and slightly flushed.

     “Spock! Is she here yet? Am I late?” Jim Kirk’s blue eyes were wide, and he bent over for a moment to rest his hands on his knees, breathing hard.

     “Captain? No, T’Heru has not yet arrived. May I ask what it is you are doing here?”

     Jim stood up, tugging at his tunic. “I’m here for you! Uh, you know, for support.” A guilty look flashed across his face, quickly replaced by an easy smile. “When we talked last night, it sounded like you might want some help.”

     Spock raised an eyebrow. He had, of course, made no such request outwardly; indeed it would be most inappropriate. However, now, in the charismatic human’s presence, he felt somewhat pleased. He was careful not to let it show on his face, but he knew Jim could sense it anyway by the way his smile turned into a grin.

     “So, is she late?” Jim moved to stand slightly closer, by Spock’s side, his arms crossed conspiratorially in front of him.

     “No, Jim. Our scheduled appointment is not for another three point two minutes.”

     “Are you nervous?” Jim nudged Spock’s arm with his elbow. “You’ll do great.”

     “Vulcans do not suffer from anxiety,” Spock replied loftily. He had not told Jim of the reason why meeting T’Heru was of such necessity, merely stating that his father had wished it. Jim had filled in some of the blanks and pronounced this a ‘blind date’ with a curious mixture of surprise and annoyance. The captain had then rapidly changed the subject, which was partially why his impromptu presence here had been so unexpected.

     Jim merely grunted absently, his eyes focused on the pathway from whence he had just arrived, his presence glowing warm against Spock’s senses. Since Jim’s temporary death, their friendship had grown increasingly close, and Spock had recently noticed a mental link forming between them, quite spontaneously. He had not been surprised by this; considering his counterpart’s claim that their friendship would be “defining”, a high degree of mental compatibility would be logical to expect. And he found that, despite himself, the link offered some degree of comfort. Jim’s easy acceptance of him was a strong contrast to what he had experienced from most others. And the young human had been visibly happy when Spock had informed him of the weak connection. So now, Spock’s shoulders relaxed a bit, and remained that way even when he heard more measured footfalls approaching.

     A tall, dark-haired Vulcan turned the corner, an eyebrow arching as she took in the two officers waiting there. She was slender, and appeared to be a few years older than Spock, with dark brown eyes and a face that would have been beautiful if it had held any warmth. Spock felt Jim tense next to him.

     T’Heru stopped and raised her hand in the traditional Vulcan greeting. “You are Spock?”

     Spock stepped forward, returning the gesture. “I am.” He lowered his hand. “This is my captain, James Kirk.”

     T’Heru looked over at the human before returning her gaze to Spock. “Do you require a chaperone?”

     Jim snorted, and Spock repressed a sharp feeling of irritation. “Negative. James is here as my friend.”

     Jim raised a passable ta’al and nodded to T’Heru. “It’s good to meet you, ma’am.”

     “Captain.” T’Heru’s voice was dismissive, and she raised her chin, addressing Spock again, “Spock, I am not familiar with human traditions, but I will not speak of our pending arrangement nor the reasons for it in front of your captain; he is an outworlder.”

     “Arrangement?” Jim’s tone held an undertone of confusion.

     “Jim,” Spock turned to face his friend. “If you would not mind, I require privacy in order to speak with T’Heru further.”

     Jim glanced from one impassive countenance to the other and frowned. But his response was interrupted by the soft beeping of Spock’s communicator.

     “Please excuse me,” Spock said, walking a short distance away and flipping open the unit. It was Lieutenant Caron with a confirmation that the transfer of a delicate sample set had been completed. Spock answered Caron’s questions succinctly and signed off, aware that Jim and T’Heru had been conversing in lowered tones. As he crossed over to Jim’s side, he could tell that the conversation had not been a pleasant one.

     Jim’s eyes were narrowed and his arms were crossed sharply over his chest. T’Heru was standing stiffly, and her face was completely blank. As Spock approached, she turned towards him. “Is it true that you share a mental link with this human?”

     Spock had never before had an inclination to utilize a colorful human metaphor, but he felt a strong compulsion now. He resisted. “James and I share a link, yes.” He did not understand why this would be a problem; it was usual in Vulcan culture to share links with family, and Jim was practically that to him.

     T’Heru inclined her head. “I must decline the arrangement.”

     Spock blinked, but maintained his composure. “May I inquire as to your reasoning?”

     She met his eyes. “I must confess that prior to our meeting I was not sanguine about joining with you. You are half-human, and, I wish for a fully Vulcan union.” She glanced at Jim before continuing, “My controls were strongly tested after the fall of our world and the loss of my bondmate, and I do not intend to allow potential emotional weakness into my mind. Also, I find your choice of career concerning, as your chances of perishing in the line of duty are much higher than I find acceptable in a mate. Finally, I submit that if you already have a successful bond with a human, then perhaps your mind is more suited to such.”

     Jim’s mouth was hanging open, but Spock simply nodded. “I understand.”

     T’Heru raised her hand in the ta’al. “I wish you long life and prosperity.”

     “Live long and prosper, T’Heru.”

     With one final glance at Jim, T’Heru turned and walked smoothly away. Spock lowered his hand and stood motionless, concentrating on his controls. There was a powerful whirl of emotion threatening to overwhelm him, and he struggled to contain it. Sudden panic, that this might be sealing his death warrant, anger at T’Heru’s words, anger at himself for not acting sooner to limit the danger in which he now found himself. He realized that his behavior towards finding a mate had been most human: denial, self-indulgence, and arrogant presumption until it may now be too late. And now all he had left was a human condolence; hope that perhaps his pon farr was still years away.

     As the emotions slowly subsided under relentless mental discipline, Spock became aware of Jim’s eyes on him, and he took a breath, tightening his jaw as he turned to face his friend.

     “Spock, uh, that wasn’t just a blind date.” The human’s voice was low, and there was fear underneath it.

     “No, Jim. It was not.” With his emotions in check, Spock remembered something. “How did T’Heru know about our link?”

     Jim swallowed, his face unnaturally pale. “I told her.”

     There was a swell of irritation, quickly damped down. After T’Heru’s explanation of her rejection of him, Spock knew that whatever Jim had said only brought things to an easier conclusion. She would not bond with a half-human, and he could not change what he was. This was simply the latest in a long line of denials by his homeworld; a confirmation that he did not truly belong. Kaiidth.

     Jim’s eyes were searching his face, and Spock could dimly sense the human’s emotions swirling as strongly as his had. Confusion, guilt, anger, protectiveness, and something else. At the moment, Spock did not wish to delve deeper. He bit his lower lip absently, a habit from his childhood, and took a step back. “I believe I will return to the hotel.” He needed to contact his father.

     The captain was visibly anxious now. “I fucked this up, didn’t I? Spock, what happened? What was that arrangement she kept going on about?”

     Spock gazed at him, and the moment brought into sharp contrast how little they understood about each other’s cultures, despite their personal and professional closeness. For him to discuss this openly with an outworlder was unthinkable. But it had also been unthinkable for him to join Starfleet, and to remain there. And so had been racing after the man responsible for Jim’s death, intent on bloody revenge. Spock made a decision.

     “Walk with me, Jim.” He turned down the path opposite to where T’Heru had disappeared, hearing Jim match his steps alongside. The gardens were as secluded a place as any on the planet, and Spock’s acute hearing would pick up any eavesdroppers. “There is something that no outworlder may know; basic and ancient to Vulcan culture. It is the reason that Vulcan children are bonded so early and why unbonded Vulcans are rare. You must keep this in the strictest confidence.”

     “I will.” Jim’s voice was serious.

     “Every seventh year of their adult lives, Vulcan males endure pon farr, a time of mating. It is shrouded in secrecy because of what happens during this time. We are stripped of our logic and control and succumb to our base instincts. I am unbonded, as my intended perished with Vulcan, and have not yet experienced this time. However, my father recently communicated that, since the loss of Vulcan, unbonded males on the colony are falling to unpredictable onsets of pon farr, resulting in death. This meeting was for me to secure a mate in case that situation comes to pass.”

     Jim abruptly stopped in his tracks, reaching out and grabbing Spock’s arm, a wash of panic flowing against the Vulcan’s shields. “Spock, I didn’t know. I’m so sorry. I’ll go after her; tell her I was full of shit, anything.”

     Spock gently pulled his arm away, but remained standing next to his friend. “There is no need; she would not have bonded with me.”

     “But, this is just sex, right? You can find someone. I mean... .”

     His voice trailed off as Spock shook his head slightly. “No, Jim, it requires a mental bond as well as physical interaction.” At his friend’s stricken expression, Spock tilted his head. “This may not be an issue for many years. My father was simply attempting to protect me.”

     “But you said that unbonded males on the colony were being affected.”

     “They are. However, they are fully Vulcan and I am not. Perhaps I will be immune to the effect.”

     Jim was biting on a thumbnail, looking at a nearby patch of greenery, appearing lost in thought. Spock studied him. “Jim, I do not understand how the subject of our link was brought up between you and T’Heru.”

     The captain’s cheeks colored slightly. “She asked me point blank why I was there. I said I was your friend, and she told me that Vulcans don’t indulge in friendships, so, logically, I was something else to you.”

     Spock raised an eyebrow as Jim continued, his cheeks coloring even more, “So, I said that was probably true because we have a mental link and then you came back over.”

     When Spock remained silent, Jim raised his hands defensively. “Look, I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have said it. I shouldn’t have even been there, and I can see now how it totally fucked things up. We’ll solve this, Spock. I’m not going to let you die.”

     Spock barely heard him, however, his mind turning over and over what T’Heru had said; of what Nyota had implied. He thought of his inability to define his relationship with Jim; their obvious mental compatibility, the strong inclination to spend time together, the ease with which the human could reduce his controls to shreds. He thought of Jim as a friend, because that was how had Jim defined them, how his counterpart had defined them. But Jim was closer to him than anyone. He was his family. His... .

     “Jim, do you wish to be my mate?”

     The captain had been in the middle of another rambling apology and stopped, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. “Uh, what was that again?”

     Spock tilted his head. “I believe you heard me.”

     “Spock, uh, I don’t think...that would be...I mean, what?”

     “Jim, you are my friend. You have risked your career and your life for me, and I would do the same for you. We share a high degree of mental affinity. I sense your regard for me and indeed, I return it. And your actions with regard to T’Heru indicate that you experienced a degree of jealousy, which would suggest that you wish to command my attention more exclusively.”

     Jim had taken a step back and was staring. “But wouldn’t that be illogical?”

     “In what respect?”

     The captain sputtered, “I’m a guy.” At Spock’s lack of reaction, he continued, waving his hands for emphasis, “And you’re into girls. Aren’t you?”

     “I see no reason why my sexual response would differ as a result of your gender. A primary indicator of a successful bonding is strong mental compatibility, which... .”

     “Which we have. So you said,” Jim interrupted. He started pacing. “Um. Well, unless this is a huge joke and Bones is going to fall out of a bush in about five seconds laughing his ass off, then, uh, okay.” He stopped pacing and stared at the ground in front of him as if he couldn’t believe his own words. He raised his eyes to meet Spock’s and his voice was barely audible. “Okay.”

     Spock allowed a small smile to quirk the corners of his mouth.

     Jim gave a tentative half-smile back, still looking quite shell-shocked. “So, what do we do now?”

     Spock allowed the tiny smile to remain. “As I said before, Jim, there is no immediate threat to my life. Perhaps we could attempt to interact socially under our new relationship parameters.”

     “You mean, go on a date?”

     “Affirmative.”

     “Okay. Uh, want to get something to eat?”

     “Affirmative.”

     Jim let out a slightly hysterical-sounding laugh and rubbed the back of his neck. “Great. Well, let’s go someplace where they serve huge drinks. No offense, but I think I need one.”

     Spock straightened, thinking of what his father would say regarding this new development. “I believe I shall have one as well.” And this time, Jim’s laugh rang out true and full, filling the Vulcan’s soul with contentment.