Chapter Text
The bridge of the Castle of lions was silent, the Paladins sat in their respective seats, Matt occupying Pidge’s vacant seat. A sudden beep startled the group as some Galra text appeared on the screen.
“What the fuck?” Lance was the first to speak as Matt swiped something on the interface in front of him.
“This doesn’t make sense…” Matt muttered as he swiped the translation up to the main screen. The translation read: “Clear for Green, RH14xx” Shiro frowned at the translation before Hunk gasped.
“They’re busting Pidge out early!” Hunk yelled. “But that last bit, I don’t think those are coordinates, are they?” Hunk asked pointing to the last bit. Matt shook his head.
“No, but you may not be too far off, at least on the first bit. The signal is coming from Galra Central Command. More than likely it’s from Thace, Krolia, or even Pidge.” Matt typed on his interface. “Wait, That last part, the numbers, they’re today’s date in Universal Time. But what is RH? Is it a person, a location, a planet, a star?” Matt began to mutter out loud, typing furiously. It was then that an incoming transmission alarm blared. Allura immediately pulled up the communications screen before both Thace and Krolia appeared on screen.
“Thace! Krolia! Status report, now!” Shiro snapped. Krolia hesitated looking over her shoulder.
“We have Pidge, and the green Lion. Unfortunately the Green Lion is barely listening to Pidge. I’m opening a secured connection, send your coordinates and we will be there as soon as possible.” Thace responded.
“Let us see Pidge.” Matt demanded as Thace frowned.
“She is in a rather fragile mood, Matthew.” Thace said carefully seconds before a small hand reached over the back of the pilot seat to tap Krolia on the shoulder. Krolia turned to see Pidge crouched behind the Pilot seat, offering Krolia the now sleeping infant in her arms.
“Are you sure? It’s okay if you don- okay, okay… For someone who doesn’t talk you sure are demanding.” Krolia giggled as she carefully stayed out of sight of the other Paladins to take the baby from Pidge. Once Krolia was sitting cross legged on the floor, Pidge stood, rounded the pilot seat and stared in amazement at the Paladins. She gestured to the others making Thace nod.
“Yes, like I told you earlier, we’re headed to the Castle of Lions.” Thace clarified as the rest of the Paladins continued to stare at Pidge. Pidge pointed to the screen shaking her head, Thace then realized she was pointing at Matt. “Matthew? What about him?” Thace asked Pidge rolled her eyes before she gestured at the cockpit around them, pointing to herself briefly, then to the flight controls in front of Thace. “You want him to pilot the Green Lion?” Thace questioned Pidge gave a noncommittal shrug until she pointed to the interface and gave Thace a look of irritation. “At least until the Green Lion starts listening to you instead of acting like a spoiled brat?” Pidge nodded vigorously. Thace sighed.
“Pidge, is it really you?” Asked Lance and Matt at the same time. Pidge turned her attention to the screen, her expression wary.
“Jesus, they did a number on you, didn’t they?” Hunk asked softly as he noted that Pidge had a scar across her left cheek and a scar on the right side of her neck. She looked to the floor, her expression changing from mildly happy to guilty as she looked anywhere but the screen.
“Hunk that was hardly appropriate. Matt and Lance are right, are you really Pidge?” Asked Allura, making Pidge look up. Pidge pointed at herself with a dejected look.
“Princess, I must beg you to have some patience with Pidge. As you can see she refuses to speak-” Thace was interrupted as Pidge tapped him on the shoulder, shaking her head. She then pointed to the scar on her neck. “Wait, you mean that the one time Sendak was allowed to interrogate you privately, he…” Thace trailed off as Pidge gave a slow nod. She made a motion by her neck before making a motion as if to symbolize talking. “If I didn’t already have thousands of reasons to kill the bastard before, I do now.” Thace sighed. “What Pidge was saying as best she could without the ability to use words: Sendak put a device in her neck that hinders her ability to speak. From what I know the device has been present for a few phoebes now, but it has since been set to completely obliterate her ability to speak as of around a phoebe ago. It literally stops your vocal chords from producing sound.” Pidge pointed to Thace, nodding as if to confirm what Thace was saying, turning and lifting her hair so the others could better see the scar on her neck.
“Jesus, Pidge… Can it be removed?” Hunk asked. Pidge gave a curious look to Thace.
“Yes…” Thace said simply before Pidge rolled her eyes. She made a motion by her neck as if she were making an incision, then a motion as if she were pulling something out before dramatically making squirting motions and giving Thace a frown. “Don’t be dramatic, it’s a simple process. And just so you know, this is the most communication we’ve gotten out of her in over a phoebe.” Krolia gave a giggle from behind the pilot seat causing Pidge to turn around and practically give the Paladins a great view of her rear, a soft almost rusty giggle issued from Pidge before she turned back around her hand over her heart as she seemed to forget that she couldn’t speak, her lips moved soundlessly as a soft smile crossed her face. Without warning Pidge burst into soft sobs, gesturing to where Krolia was sitting and to the Paladins on the screen.
“What’s wrong? Pidge, are you alright?” Asked Allura softly.
“Give her a moment, Princess. This quintant has already been physically taxing for Pidge, and it’s proving to be quite emotional for her as well. Things happened that warranted a change of plans for her return, and I don’t doubt that everything that has happened to her is anything short of exhausting.” Thace gently took hold of Pidge’s shoulders, “Look at me. Your friends have been worried about you. You have undergone some physical changes, it’s normal for them to-” Thace was interrupted when Pidge pointed to the Paladins on screen, then made a motion as if she were sticking a syringe into her neck before she pointed to her face where two mauve markings were barely noticeable. “Well, no, I didn’t tell them what Haggar was doing…” Pidge seemed to become agitated as she began wordlessly moving her lips as if trying to verbally express something.
“Pidge, calm down. You asked us to keep parts of your torture from your fellow Paladins, out of respect for what you went through, we honored your request. As soon as we get to the Castle of Lions, the sooner you can explain what you feel like explaining.” Krolia said peeking around the side of the pilot seat.
Pidge frowned as Thace sighed. Pidge turned to fully face the others, she slowly licked her lower lip in thought before she gestured to the Paladins then to Thace before making a talking motion and jabbing a thumb over her shoulder to Krolia. Thace hesitated.
“Yes and no. I explained to Shiro, briefly and vaguely, but I don’t know if he has spoken to the others yet.” Thace replied. Pidge looked to the floor before she began to use quick gestures. “Slow down, I can’t figure out what you’re trying to say when you get this worked up.” Thace sighed before Pidge gave Thace a glare, grabbing his hand and traced letters into his palm before Thace seemed to understand. “I think that is something you’re going to have to discuss with them, privately. As I said, Shiro is more than aware of the circumstances but I haven’t had the chance to brief him on recent developments.” Thace said carefully. Pidge gave a scowl before she turned her attention back to the screen. She pointed to Shiro and gave a shrug. Before she pointed to Allura and shrugged again. “I’m afraid I don’t understand what you’re asking, Pidge.” Thace gave her a curious look as she threw her hands into the air in frustration. She then jabbed Shiro’s image on the display. “Shiro?” Pidge nodded. She gave a shrug before she pointed again to Allura with another shrug. “You want to know if Shiro told Allura?” Pidge nodded.
“I told all of them everything, not just Allura. It was as vaguely specific as I could be without the details. We… Know what Zarkon did to you…” Shiro said slowly. Pidge gave a curious look before she tugged at Thace’s sleeve and gestured for his hand. Pidge slowly spelled out something on Thace’s hand then pointed to Lance.
“She wants me to ask if you all want to see Rolia.” Thace translated.
“We already know who Krolia is, Pidge. She’s Keith’s mom.” Said Hunk.
“Wait. Was that transmission from you, Pidge?” Asked Matt. Pidge nodded excitedly. “The last part of the transmission, RH 14xx, RH must refer to a person?” Matt paused for a moment, his expression horrified as he seemed to put together what Pidge was asking. “Wait, RH, Rolia Holt? You had your baby, today?” Matt asked making Pidge nod with a worried look.
“I wanna see the baby!” Shouted Lance and Hunk at the same time. Pidge turned and tapped Krolia on the shoulder giving her a grabbing gesture to signal that she wanted to hold Rolia. Gently, Krolia rounded the pilot seat and handed the baby to Pidge. Despite being a newborn, Rolia was alert and making soft noises as she attempted to devour her hand.
“Oh my god, she’s adorable! I’m assuming she’s a girl anyway, are you a girl, Rolia?” Lance bounced from his seat to join Allura at the point closest to the communications screen. The baby merely cooed softly as Pidge gave a short nod.
“She’s so alert! And those eyes, I think I’m going to faint from cuteness overload!” Hunk practically squealed in delight making Pidge smile.
“She was born shortly after the change of guard. She isn’t even half a quintant but she’s already as alert as a Galra newborn.” Thace gave a prideful smile to the baby in Pidge’s arms.
“She’s so tiny…” Matt noted that Rolia was small. Pidge looked down at the baby before she began to gesture with one hand. “Pidge, we don’t understand your sign language yet.” Matt sighed. Pidge gave a disgruntled look to Thace, pointing at Rolia then to the Paladins.
“Technically by Galra terms, she was born two phoebes early, by human standards she was apparently born at the perfect time. Either way, Pidge did well, and despite the circumstances, they are both alive. Although, should Zarkon find out about this child, I can guarantee he will attempt to take her by force.” Thace followed Pidge’s gaze to the happily babbling child. “I suppose, however, that for now all is well.” Pidge gave a halfhearted shrug before she turned the baby so that she had the baby’s face close to her own. The infant reached out a hand and Pidge managed a grin as she gently nipped at the small hand, making Rolia giggle loudly.
“I will go ahead and open a wormhole for you. We will see you soon, Pidge.” Allura said with a gentle smile.
A few doboshes later, the Green Lion gently touched down in its hangar. Pidge hesitated as Krolia and Thace immediately made for the exit. She looked down to Rolia who had fallen asleep against Pidge’s chest, sucking on her tiny fist. Pidge frowned before she slowly made her way out of the Green Lion. As soon as she left the Green Lion, she was swarmed by the other Paladins, making her scream in terror as she shoved them away, taking a few steps back.
“Back off, back off!” Matt shouted stepping between Pidge and the other Paladins, “Back the fuck off, you’re scaring her!” In her panic, Pidge had wound up back in the Green Lion, sitting in the Pilot seat with Rolia held as close as possible without hurting or waking the child as she tried to slow her breathing. “Pidge, are you okay?” Matt asked as he slowly entered the cockpit. Pidge turned, biting her lower lip.
Pidge shook her head before she began to make gestures with one hand. Matt watched her gestures in silence before he seemed to get an idea.
“You would rather have them greet you one by one? Rather than swarming you like they just did, yeah?” Matt asked. Pidge nodded slowly before she gave Matt a surprised look pointing to Rolia then to Matt. “You want me to hold her?” Matt asked. Pidge nodded gently shifting Rolia. Matt quietly approached Pidge before he carefully accepted his niece with a small smile. “Jesus, Pidge, if you were Galra, she would look just like you. I remember when you were a baby, Pidge, she looks just like you did… I mean if you had dark hair and purple skin anyway.” Pidge gave a soft smile before she gestured for Matt’s hand. He tentatively offered his palm to her before she slowly spelled out with the tip of her finger that she was grateful that Matt wasn’t angry with her for what had happened. Matt gave her a grin. “Hey, you would do the same for me if I was in the same situation. So we’re even.” Matt said softly.
It was then that there was a shifting sound from the doorway to the cockpit seconds before Lance peeked his head around the doorframe.
“Uh, knock knock?” Lance asked gently as Pidge grabbed Matt’s hand and spelled out that she wanted to spend a few moments alone with Lance. Matt nodded knowingly.
“Just a few. Then I’ll send Allura to see you, is that okay?” Matt asked. Pidge nodded before she pointed to the sleeping baby in Matt’s arms then pointed to Lance. “You want me to offer Rolia to Lance?” Matt asked. Pidge nodded as she motioned for Lance to enter. Lance slowly approached before Matt went to Lance and offered him Rolia. Lance accepted the baby with a fond smile. “I’ll give you two a bit, okay?” Matt then made his way out of the cockpit leaving Lance and Pidge in absolute silence.
“She’s beautiful, Pidge.” Lance said softly as he gently poked her tiny fist with a finger, allowing her small hand to grab his finger. He looked up to see that Pidge was giving him a soft look. “Damn it, I forgot, you can’t talk.” Lance went to Pidge and sat on the arm of the Pilot seat. She watched him curiously for a moment before she tugged on his sleeve, exposing his wrist. She gently began tracing letters against his wrist. At first Lance watched in confusion before he began to string the letters into words and words into sentences.
“It’s good to see you again, Lance. I’m truly sorry for making you worry about me so much. I may have a few bruises and scars, but at least I’m alive, right? I honestly wish I could speak right now, and express just how happy I am to finally be home.” Pidge spelled out before she gave Lance a curious look as if to ask if he understood her.
“I’m glad you’re back, Pidge. You scared us when you sent us that transmission two weeks after you were captured. We had no idea what you were going through until Shiro told us about it today. I honestly never want to see you so tired of fighting ever again. You’ve always been the strongest of us all, and I’ve always admired that. Besides I have a personal bone to pick with you.” Lance gave a playful frown.
“What did I do, Lance? I’ve been gone for a decaphoeb and I haven’t contacted you but the one time…” Pidge tilted her head to the side as Lance sighed dramatically.
“You don’t just tell people that you love them after you’ve pretty much made a very pretty speech that you would more than likely die in the clutches of Zarkon, Pidge.” Lance chuckled softly. Pidge blinked with a soft blush coloring her cheeks.
“You can remember what I said a decaphoeb ago, but you can’t remember your “bonding moment” with Keith?” Pidge gave a snort as Lance gasped playfully.
“We agreed never to talk about it. So, Pidge, was that just terror talking, or is it how you really feel?” Lance countered with a query of his own.
“I think it was a bit of both, really. I was scared that I would never see any of you guys again, and I knew I had to say something… Krolia had to literally knock me out because I was so hysterical after I ended the transmission.” Pidge paused to take Lance’s finger from Rolia’s tiny hand before she brought his hand to her chest, mouthing “what does it feel like to you?”. Lance smiled softly.
“Feels legit to me, Pidge.” Lance chuckled leaning in to gently hug Pidge, careful of the baby in his arms before he smiled down at Rolia who was beginning to wake with a small cry that softly grew louder. Pidge gestured for Lance to hand her the baby as she pulled an arm through her sleeve and pulled her shirt up enough so that one of her breasts was exposed. Lance looked away with a frown, before Pidge tugged at his sleeve gesturing for his hand.
“She’s hungry. Galra and half Galra babies have weird feeding schedules. Krolia explained it to me, since Keith is half Galra and she had experience with other half Galra babies.” Pidge spelled out via an explanation against Lance’s palm. She then gave him a smirk, “What, you thought I was showing my boob for fun? Perv.” Pidge grinned wider to show that she was joking. Lance chuckled.
“No, I just thought it would be respectful not to stare at you. I mean I was around for Nadia and Silvio being breast fed, and I just think it’s rude for a guy to stare at a woman who is just trying to feed her baby.” Lance stated defensively. Pidge tipped her head back, her mouth wide as a soft laugh issued from her. “So, you can laugh, you just can’t talk?” Lance asked Pidge shook her head.
“Not really. If I were to force it, I could probably talk a little bit, but it would probably sound like I’m dying or something. Plus this thing makes it hurt to laugh, scream, or anything that has to do with being verbal. It was part of the interrogation torture that Sendak suggested. To be honest, I was fully conscious when he performed the surgery.” Pidge admitted slowly pausing to bite her lower lip in thought before she moved her free hand from Lance’s palm to the side of her neck where she had shown the others the scar. Lance frowned slightly.
“Would you let Thace or Krolia remove it?” Lance asked feeling slightly childish. Pidge nodded while mouthing “yes, yes I would.” Lance gave a small smile as the sound of someone clearing their throat was heard. Lance looked up to see Allura standing on the door way. “We’ll talk more, later, okay?” Lance asked before Pidge spelled out: “I’ll hold you to it.” Lance patted Pidge briefly on the head before he left, leaving Allura and Pidge alone.
“You’re really Pidge?” Allura asked softly before Pidge gestured for her hand.
“It’s easier for me to spell it out than it is for me to make weird gestures and hope you understand me. To answer your question, yes, I am really me. I know I’ve changed quite a bit… I’m covered in scars, and I don’t quite know exactly what Haggar was doing to me, but it’s somehow morphed my biology as far as Thace and Krolia can tell…” Pidge paused for a moment. “It’s probably hard to believe that I am me, I mean, my hair needs a good cut, I’m a bit taller, and I just had a baby…” Pidge gave a soundless sigh.
“There’s one thing that you would know above the others. Before you were kidnapped, what did you and I do for fun?” Allura asked. Pidge gave a smile.
“That’s easy! I told you about how I used to wear dresses and showed you a picture of me wearing a dress. I really used to enjoy it. Since you still have dresses and gowns that fit my smaller body type, we would have secret dress up parties. It was so embarrassing when Lance caught us that one time. You threatened to tell Coran that he was a peeping Tom if he told anyone about them.” Pidge smiled softly, “The blue dress with the forest green trim was always my favorite.” Allura gasped with a smile.
“It is really you! We’ve missed so much…” Allura exclaimed as she made a motion to hug Pidge, stopping slightly short of Pidge as she seemed to realize that Rolia was nursing quite greedily from Pidge’s chest. “I nearly forgot about her… You named her Rolia? After Keith’s mother I assume?” Allura asked Pidge nodded as Rolia began nuzzling Pidge’s chest signaling that she was done feeding. Pidge gently put the baby to her shoulder, before tugging her shirt back into place. Pidge then motioned for Allura’s hand again.
“Yes. I was delirious with pain this morning when Thace found me, he called Krolia to help me while he distracted Zarkon. Krolia was able to quickly figure out that I had been in labor for quite some time and that I needed immediate help. If it wasn’t for Krolia, Rolia and I would have died…” Pidge spelled out before she took her hand back and began to pat Rolia on the back.
“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but… Who is Rolia’s biological father?” Allura asked. A look of guilt crossed Pidge’s face. Before she reached over and hesitantly began to spell it out for Allura.
“I refuse to call a rapist a father, Allura. He may have forced me to conceive but he will never have the joy of knowing this child. If you must know, Zarkon was the one who assaulted me. He gave me some drug, I don’t remember what it was called, but it forced my body to feel pleasure.” Pidge paused as Allura realized that the smaller woman was shaking. “My mind knew that I wasn’t enjoying what was happening, but my body reacted to the drug. I didn’t realize I was pregnant until almost two phoebes ago. I didn’t know how far along I was, or even which instance it happened. I was devastated, knowing my first born child was the product of brutal torture. I refused to let on that I was pregnant in front of Zarkon, who knows what he would have done to her. I only told Thace because I was convinced after a particularly rough round of interrogation that Zarkon was trying to slowly kill me.” Pidge stopped tracing letters on Allura’s palm as a look of pain crossed her face.
“Pidge, you don’t have to say anything more…” Allura said softly as Pidge burst into silent tears.
“But I’m alive, Allura… And so is Rolia… I’m so grateful, but I’m so scared…” Pidge finished before she gently patted Rolia on the head while the little girl attempted to eat her fist once again, happily gurgling her contentment.
“May I, Pidge?” Allura asked holding her arms out to signify that she wanted to hold Rolia. Pidge nodded with a deep breath, taking Rolia from her shoulder and handing her to the Altean woman. Allura examined the baby while Pidge wiped tears from her face. “She has Altean markings, and she seems to be very much like a newborn half Altean. I know you’re not Altean naturally and obviously with a part of her biology being purely half Galra that could explain her looks.” Allura commented as Rolia stared her deep black eyes into Allura’s deep blue.
Pidge gave a shrug and patted her own neck before making a face and pretending that she was injecting something into her own neck with another shrug.
“Haggar injected something into you that you don’t know what it was?” Allura asked. Pidge nodded before she pointed out the markings on her own face. “I was wondering about those, so they appeared after Haggar injected that substance into you?” Pidge nodded holding up eight fingers before pointing to Rolia then to her middle. “It happened eight phoebes ago, approximately just before or around the same time that you became pregnant with Rolia?” Allura inquired as Pidge nodded again. “It doesn’t matter what her lineage is, Pidge, I was just morbidly curious. She’s a beautiful child…” Allura smiled at the baby who smiled back making soft grunting noises. Pidge gave a frown making a series of gestures, her look turning to guilt. “You think your own mother is going to be furious with you for what happened to you?” Allura asked.
Pidge nodded quietly. She then held up ten fingers then bent two to symbolize the number 18, then she put a hand over her heart before pointing to Rolia.
“Even though you’re eighteen and you know your mother loves you, you still have that fear?” Allura asked softly as Pidge nodded yet again. It was then that Matt came into the cockpit with a frown.
“I’m sorry, but you’re needed on the Bridge, Pidge. Mom and Dad contacted us with some information about earth.” Matt said shortly. Pidge carefully threaded her arm back into her shirt before she seemed to realize what she was wearing she gave a shrug and gestured at her clothing. She was wearing a worn uniform of a Galran inmate, that was at least in better condition than what she had worn for the previous decaphoeb. “I don’t think they’ll care. They’ve been just as worried as we all have. Come on.” Matt grabbed Pidge by the wrist, causing her to gasp and violently pull her arm back before she showed Matt that her wrists were rubbed raw, the skin scarred, cracked, and bleeding. “Ewww, sorry, but come on.” Matt gestured for Pidge to follow him. Pidge looked to Allura and nodded after Matt.