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Ever since he entered 9th grade, the only thing Klavier found himself surrounded with at home were cameras, cameras, and more cameras. For whatever absurd reason, Kristoph had gotten himself into photography at the ripe age of 21, and never missed a chance to buy a new camera when he could, regardless of financial status. From top to bottom, the house they shared was filled with cameras of all prices and types. The only place that didn’t contain cameras was Klavier’s room, but even so, sometimes one or two managed to sneak themselves into it. How they’d managed to get there in the first place, Klavier didn’t know. Though, he had a sneaking suspicion that Kristoph was just trying to empty out more space for his ever growing collection of cameras.
But even if he did despise the huge number of cluttered cameras around the house, Klavier couldn’t deny his interest in Kristoph’s newly found hobby. Though he had hated it at first, its presence around him piqued his curiosity more than he would’ve liked to admit. A camera always seemed to hang around his brother’s neck, and everytime something momentous happened, he always snapped a photo. And the defense attorney was no amateur either; his photos were beautiful, and gained quite the following online.
Though he would never admit it, he found himself playing around with Kristoph’s cameras every once in a while when the attorney was away from home on cases. Learning how to adjust the settings, composing the perfect photo, usage of light and the different kinds of it; soon enough, Klavier found himself enjoying the hobby his brother loved so much, despite his previous beratement of it.
Before he knew it, he had become an honorary member of the yearbook club’s photography team, and by his senior year, he was sought out to document all of the events that occurred in school. Even with his previous stance on the topic, Klavier loved his newfound job. From Christmas celebrations to assemblies to fairs and even the yearly mock trial, he was now in charge of the documentation of all of it.
Today, he was walking around the gym. His position on the photography team spared him no time to enjoy the school events like the other students did, and often left him wandering around the school during empty slots in his schedule for the day. The gym was dead quiet; after all, the other students were all gathered in the multi-purpose hall for orientation for the first day of school. After having attended 3 of them himself, he found it much more entertaining to go around the school and take photos, instead of being subjected to the same boring event he had experienced three times over. Unfortunately, not everyone had gotten away as easily as that, and Klavier was quite pleased with his luck.
In the corner of the gym, he noticed a hunched up figure sorting some things on the floor. The person was murmuring to himself as he scribbled things down, sorting some things in a huge stack of items. With his head bent down, Klavier couldn’t even begin to guess who it was. But, as he got closer, he noticed the two familiar brown spikes of hair on the top of the man’s head, gelled to perfection.
“Herr Forehead,” Klavier greeted, smiling. He took down a seat next to Apollo, the camera that dangled on his neck coming to a rest on his lap. Apollo looked up for a moment, smiling silently in greeting, before he turned back to what he was doing.
“What are you doing?” Klavier asked, squinting slightly as he tried to see what Apollo was doing, cross-legged on the floor. Thinking that he wouldn’t need to read anything, Klavier had neglected to bring his glasses. Now, he paid for it.
“I’m helping the team sort out things for orientation,” Apollo replied, scribbling some more things onto his clipboard. “They need it by tomorrow, so I was excused from orientation today. Honestly, it’s more of a relief than a disappointment.”
“Ach,” Klavier nodded thoughtfully. “I see they chose the right person for the job.
His hard-working junior continued to sort through the items in front of him, still murmuring to himself. Klavier found that he wasn’t surprised; the young defense course student always seemed to be working. He was the secretary of the Mock Trial Club and always helped out with school events, all while balancing his studies. Klavier had seen the amount of work he put into things, his relentless behavior getting him through most of it. Sometimes, Klavier wondered how he didn’t burn out.
“Well, why are you doing here?” Apollo asked, looking at him. “It’s not like you to skip out on orientation.”
“I’m on the photography team now.” Klavier motioning to the camera around his neck. “I’m excused from the orientation because of it.”
“You’re just as lucky as I am, then.”
Klavier nodded. His fingers wrapped around the body of the black camera, feeling the weight of the object in his hands. But even as he fidgeted with the camera, he didn’t know what possessed him to do what he did next.
“Herr Forehead, smile!”
Apollo looked up, flashing a peace sign at the camera as he plastered a toothy smile on his face. The camera shutter clicked, the flash turning on once before the photo was processed into the camera. Klavier clicked a few buttons, immediately viewing the photograph he had just took.
As he did, he felt his heart skip a beat.
Even in his fatigued and overworked state, Klavier found that Apollo still looked as good as ever. His skin was still clear, eyebags barely visible. Even his hair, which was slightly ruffled from lack of care, looked good. Without the numerous beauty products Klavier was so fond of using, Apollo still looked good with just gel to hold up his hair.
“It’s a pretty good photo,” Klavier acknowledged, ignoring his hammering heart as he continued to stare at the photo. Apollo shifted over to look at the screen of the camera in Klavier’s hands, a smile smile tugging at his lips as he saw the photo. As Klavier held out the camera for Apollo to see, his skin prickled. Apollo was close to him -- almost too close -- arms brushing slightly against his as he looked at the camera screen. A slight shiver coursed through Klavier, but he shut it out, shaking his head. It was probably just his lack of sleep -- he was going slightly delirious. His heart was testament to that.
“Thank you so much for the photo Klavier,” Apollo smiled. “Be sure to get the photo to me. I really should buy you lunch for the hard work you put in. You do too much, you know?”
“If there’s anyone doing too much, that would be you Herr Forehead, ja?”
Klavier had elected to brush off Apollo’s offer for lunch, trying to keep himself together as Apollo continued to smile at him. But even as he stood up to leave Apollo to his work, he couldn’t help but think back. No matter how hard he tried to force his mind away from the thought, the only topic his mind was interested in was lunch.
Lunch with Apollo.
…
Klavier sat on his bed, laptop opened in front of him, the SD card from the camera plugged in. At the end of a long event, he loved looking back at the photos of the event he had taken; it was his favourite part of the job. It was almost as if a piece of time was stored forever in memory by simply clicking a button to capture the moment. Even as the event waned to a close, he still had hundreds of photos to remember the day by. It was almost romantic.
He pressed the arrow keys, storing the photos he especially liked and quickly trashing the ones that weren’t quite so nice. Though he had done photography for almost 2 years now, looking at photos from events never got old.
In an hour, he had made a considerable dent in sorting through the pictures he had taken. He had captured over 1,000 shots, and out of the 500 he had checked, a majority of them stayed in his ever growing ‘keep’ folder. Sipping on the cup of tea on his bedside table, he continued to press the arrow button on his laptop. Looking up from his laptop, he returned the tea, simultaneously pressing the arrow button as he did so. He wished he didn’t.
Because as he looked down at the picture of Apollo on his screen, he choked slightly on the tea still in his mouth.
Hacking, Klavier sat for several moments, his coughs filling the quiet room. When the coughing finally subsided, he reverted his eyes to the picture of Apollo on his screen, the one he had taken in the gym. Staring at the photo for several moments, he began to see things he had never noticed about Apollo. His features were still impeccably perfect, but there were smaller details Klavier had never bothered to notice on Apollo. A darker patch of skin on Apollo’s collarbone, his sharper than usual jawline that had a light contour where it met his neck. Klavier found himself staring as he continued to rake his eyes over the photo he had taken earlier that day, quickly pressing his lips into a thin line as he found himself beginning to smile.
Apollo’s soft eyes in the photo were exactly the expression he had when he had received the position as secretary in the Mock Trial Club. Everyone had gone up to him to congratulate him, smiling brightly as he patted him on the back. Klavier was the last to go up to him, smiling brightly as he patted his junior’s back. But to his surprise, Apollo had pulled him into a hug, arms tight around his shoulders.
“Thank you so much Klavier. I couldn’t have gotten here without you.”
Silently, Klavier prayed Apollo couldn’t feel his heartbeat.
“It was all you, Herr Forehead. Ach, how could it have been me? You put in the work.”
“But you were the best mentor anyone could’ve ever asked for, especially during the mock trial in Hongkong, remember?”
Klavier remembered it as clear as day. Apollo was curled up in a ball in the corner of the meeting room the team was using to prepare their cases. Everyone had gone back to rest, though, and the only ones left were Apollo and Klavier. He hadn’t even realised the young defense court student had stood up from his chair and curled up into the corner. Apollo was whimpering as he speedily murmured the case to himself over and over again. Klavier could remember the stab of sympathy he felt as he looked at his court partner. He had walked up to him, pulling him into a hug despite his better judgement. Even today, he wasn’t sure if he’d helped.
But as he hugged Apollo, Apollo’s stiffness loosened, the murmuring halted. He seemed to sink into Klavier’s embrace, as if the weight on him disappeared with the embrace.
But all that was 2 years ago. Klavier continued to stare at the photo of Apollo, biting his cheek as he did so. He didn’t know where it went wrong. They were close, but all that was long ago. He couldn’t remember the last time he had a smooth conversation with Apollo without awkward gaps of silence in between. Even in the hallways they exchanged no forms of acknowledgement. Their close bond formed in half a year had disappeared somehow, so long ago. He had managed to avoid thinking about it for the past two years. He had managed to drown himself in work, not sparing a moment to regret how it had all turned out. But why did his heart ache as he continued to look at Apollo’s smiling face?
Why did it want that half a year back to relive?
Sighing, he dragged the picture of Apollo into his desktop, safely storing it into the ‘keep’ folder. He pulled up the email application on his laptop, fingers flying over the keyboard as he typed a quick message.
Dear Herr Forehead,
Here’s the picture I took of you earlier today.
He attached the picture into the email, letting it load for a few moments before continuing his message.
Dear Herr Forehead,
Here’s the picture I took of you earlier today. Do you want to go out for lunch on Wednesday?
As quickly as he had written the additional message, he erased it. Groaning frustratedly, he ran his hands through his blond hair. No he couldn’t. He knew the repercussions that would unfold if he did that.
Even as he sat in his room, he could already picture Kristoph’s frowning face.
”How dare you sully my reputation?” Kristoph would spit. “Having a gay brother? What would the legal world think of me?”
Klavier jolted as he felt a stinging sensation on his cheek. His hand immediately flew to his cheek, checking for injury. But he found nothing. Shutting his eyes, Klavier shook his head. It was just his imagination. No one had slapped him. He was alone, and Kristoph didn’t know about it.
But even still, the slap felt ever too familiar.
Before he could ponder about it any longer, Klavier hit the send button. The email was sent with a quick whooshing sound from his laptop, disappearing from his inbox in an instant. As soon as the email left his focus, he found himself sinking back into the thoughts of his older brother.
He knew the identity of people he loved. He knew that people would never consider it normal, much less acceptable. He remembered when Kristoph stormed into his room one day, Klavier’s diary in hand. The interrogation on his sexuality was long and painful. Even if he had made sure to keep the diary safe, Kristoph had managed to find it, even going so far as to translate the German written in it.
In it were his thoughts on Apollo. In his neat handwriting, he had written about all the times he had seen Apollo. The lunches they shared, the experiences in mock trial they had together. He wanted to just shout the truth, come clean and accept the wrath of his brother. But even if he willed himself to, he couldn’t bring himself to tell his brother the whole truth about himself.
Because even if he was Themis’ prodigy student, the years of his torment by Kristoph never left him.
But his eyes flickered to the picture of Apollo, smiling ever so brightly on his desktop. Apollo looked nothing short of truly happy, even amidst his work and stress. Not once had he not smiled in the face of danger and fear, his brightness always trumping over all his other emotions. Even amidst his fear of speaking in his first mock trial, he still did. Even when he feared rejection as secretary of the Mock Trial Club, he still ran for it.
Even when everything was stacked against him, Apollo still smiled.
Shakily, Klavier took his phone into his hands, quickly tapping in a number into the dial pad. He couldn’t stop trembling as he did so, taking deep breaths to calm himself.
Finally, the other end picked up.
“Hey, Herr Forehead, still available for lunch?”