Work Text:
Before
Momo’s school rarely received new students in the middle of a semester, so when their homeroom teacher announced a new classmate was coming soon, it was a Big Deal. In the sense it gave Momo’s classmates a break from school work and something else to talk about. Before the student’s arrival, each person had an idea of what the person might be like and where they came from. Mina thought they were a foreign exchange student, while Denki thought they were some delinquent who got kicked out of their previous school. Iida, student president mood on, reminded everyone that it wasn’t respectable to hold such high judgments when they haven’t even met the stranger. Momo agreed.
On Monday morning, a new person came in behind their teacher. All chattering stopped as the students greeted their teacher, but it faltered halfway as they glanced at the student.
The staring was excessive. Momo felt bad that the new kid had to stand there with everyone’s eyes on him, but Momo couldn’t look away either. She thought she heard Mina behind her whisper, “ Oh, he’s handsome ,” and Katsuki grumble, “ Is that a birthmark or a burn? ”
“Everyone,” the teacher started, “please welcome Todoroki Shoto to our class. I hope you’ll make him feel at home here.” Shoto stared back at everyone, his gaze heavy. When he caught eyes with Momo, something sharp zapped inside her, making her shoulders jumped. Tsuyu glanced at her, worried, and Momo shook her head as she stood up.
As vice president, she should do her part to make Shoto feel welcomed.
“It’s really great to have you here,” she said, hands clasped. She could only look pass him, not at him.
When the teacher had Shoto sit at a desk a few rows ahead of Momo, it was only then she was able to look at him.
After
Momo hasn’t had a crush in so long, hasn’t allowed herself the permission to like anyone romantically, that she doesn’t know what to do with herself. She’s cool and collected when she needs to be (on a good day, at least), but looking at Shoto makes her want to evaporate, become nonexistent, invisible. She wants him to see her and yet she doesn’t want him to see her.
If he looks at her she’ll lose her composure. He’ll see straight into her head, work his way down to her heart, and see how deep she’s in for him.
But he can’t know.
It barely takes a month before Shoto mingles in with the class like he’s been there the entire time. He’s quiet and reserved, but he had warmed up enough to be considered cool and everyone’s friend.
When Momo isn’t thinking about how warm she feels or trying to not make a fool of herself, she finds Shoto easy to talk to. He listens in a way that sometimes even her best friends forget to do---actually comprehending the words and not just hearing the noise. He helps broaden her perspective and can relate when she admits she doesn’t always feel as intelligent as people make her out to be.
It takes time, but as the school year goes on, they grow closer. Momo feels comfortable telling him things without worrying that she might annoy him, and Shoto’s more open with his thoughts.
Momo’s usually at school until very late, but one day she manages to get off before the sun sets completely. She runs into Shoto and they walk together since his home’s in the same direction as hers. It’s calm, not many people outside, and after a long silence, Shoto tells her why he started school so late.
Because he and his sister and mom had to leave their old home abruptly. It wasn’t good, there was too much--
His mouth clams up. Momo tells him it’s okay to not say any more, that he doesn’t have to tell her anything right now, but she’s glad he was able to say what he did. She pauses for a moment and asks if there’s something he needs right now, something he wants her to do.
He shakes his head and Momo drops her hands from holding her backpack straps. Shoto takes her hand in his.
They walk hand-in-hand, not talking, but things feel peaceful again. Momo squeezes his hand and Shoto squeezes back.
Momo is talented at a lot of things, one of them being keeping secrets.
Senior year comes and she’s impressed with how she manages to keep her crush on Shoto a secret from him, from everyone, for so long. She thinks Ochaco might be suspicious, but she’s polite enough not to bring it up. Not like Momo will answer.
It’s safer to keep it a secret because Shoto is her friend and he trusts her. He doesn’t like her that way. Momo already thinks too much and she doesn’t want to think about the possibilities of what might come if she confesses.
He looks at her, but he doesn’t look at her the way she wants him to. She knows this because she’s always staring.
She’s not okay , but she’ll tolerate , keeping this crush until graduation comes and goes. All her classmates will split up then, and when Shoto goes off somewhere, he’ll become a what if, and Momo’s feelings will hopefully fade away. They’ll fade quickly and not painfully.
She’s fine with that until she’s having a sleepover with Mina, Toru, Ochaco, and Tsuyu at her house. Their stomachs are full of salty snacks and highly caffeinated drinks when Mina says, “I’m gonna tell Shoto I like him.”
Momo whips her head up so fast her neck cracks. Ochaco gasps. Toru exclaims, “I knew it! I knew you liked him,” and Momo stares at her, mouth hanging open. How does Toru know? Did anyone else know? Since when did Mina like Shoto in that way? Mina always say he’s handsome, but she also thinks boys like Denki are handsome. Momo guesses she’s seen Mina flirt with Shoto, but Mina’s kind of like that with everyone, including with Momo.
It doesn’t make sense.
“Why?” Momo blurts without meaning to. The others look at her. She quickly fiddles with a knot in her hair to avoid looking at them, and to focus on something other than the nausea building in her stomach. “Sorry, I mean . . . why didn’t you tell us sooner that you liked him?”
“I told Tsuyu and made her promise not to say anything,” Mina explains. Tsuyu nods bashfully. The nausea creeps up Momo’s throat. “I didn’t want to say anything before I thought things over. I really like him. I think he might like me too.”
“I wish I had your confidence,” Toru sighs. Momo makes the knot worse by yanking at it and she winces. “Ooh, I hope it works out! He’s definitely boyfriend material.”
They giggle and Mina says something else, but Momo can’t hear over how loud the thumping in her chest is. The nausea reaches the back of her tongue and Momo stands up without catching anyone’s eyes.
“Gotta pee!” she says, and she stays normal and neutral until she reaches the bathroom.
She wants to cry, but she doesn’t want to go back out there with red eyes and wet cheeks.
It’s time for lunch and Momo sees Mina talking to Shoto. He nods and they leave together to go somewhere.
Momo manages to eat half of her lunch before giving the rest to Minoru. Tsuyu comments that she looks really pale, and Momo decides to excuse herself to the nurse’s office. The nurse doesn’t find anything wrong, but they allow Momo to rest on a cot.
She doesn’t know why she’s upset. There’s no reason. Other people are allowed to like Shoto and it’s silly of her to think she was the only one. It’s silly of her to believe people are cowards like her. It’s good Mina was confessing her crush, and if Shoto likes her back and they get together, Momo will support them because she’s a good friend.
Momo turns over on her stomach so she can bury her face in the cot. She can’t cry. She won’t be overdramatic.
Shoto isn’t hers. He never was and never will be.
Momo isn’t certain how long she’s at the nurse’s office, but at some point the cot dips and Momo opens her eyes to see Shoto looking down at her.
Shoto has the kindest gaze. She wishes she can tell him that. Instead she asks, “What are you doing here?”
“I got back to class late and teacher asked me to check on you,” he says. Momo sits up and takes the hair-tie around her wrist off so she can pull her hair back. “Are you sick?”
“Mm, not anymore. I think the tofu at lunch got to me,” she jokes, and Shoto chuckles. “I’ll be ready in a moment.”
“Take your time. I’m glad you’re okay.” They don’t say anything else, so Momo beings to think. She wonders if Mina confessed. If Shoto said yes. He isn’t acting like he has a new girlfriend, then again, Momo isn’t certain what that looks like. Shoto isn’t majorly expressive, so if he and Mina are together now, he isn’t going to shout it to the whole school.
That’s okay. Momo will be able to tell by the look on Mina’s face when she sees her. Momo’s happy for her, she truly is, it just also feels awful.
Right then, Momo decides she has nothing else to lose. Might as well get it over with and find out right now. Momo rolls a fallen strand of hair between her fingers. “So, you and Mina?”
“ . . . Huh?” Momo looks up, pass him, not at him.
“Mina told me how she was gonna tell you that she likes you,” Momo says, before a sudden realization hits her and her face burns red. “Oh wait---isn’t that what you two were talking about?” Oh god, did Mina not say anything? Did Momo mess it up for her?
There’s a shy smile on Shoto’s face as he laughs awkwardly. “Oh, yeah. Yeah, we talked---she told me she liked me.”
“Yeah?”
He shrugs. “I don’t feel the same way. She’s my friend.” Finally, Momo stares at his face, confused, because it never occurred to her that Shoto might not like Mina back the same way.
Mina’s great, so why would he not want to be her boyfriend? Momo doesn’t know what to say, so she stumbles over a bunch of filler words before settling on, “I’m sorry.”
“For what? Mina isn’t mad. At least, I don’t think so? She said ultimately she just wanted to get it off her chest, regardless of how I felt. She wasn’t expecting anything.”
That wasn’t how Mina made it seem, or maybe Momo wasn’t actually paying attention.
Momo looks closely enough at him to see the tinge of pink on his face, reaching up to the red flesh around his left eye. “I was honest with her. I told her there’s someone else I’m interested in.”
“ Huh?” Momo says a little too loudly. The nurse glances at them briefly before going back to some paperwork.
Shoto’s mouth tightens into a thin line. The pink stays on his face. “You’re the first person I’m telling this to. I like someone.”
Momo doesn’t care if her face looks ridiculous. She’s so confused. Who does Shoto like? Ochaco? Izuku? Everyone has had a crush on Izuku at some point. Maybe Katsuki? He’s obsession with picking on Shoto was questionable---
“Momo,” Shoto says, and Momo focuses back on him. “You’re zoning out.”
“Sorry, it’s just weird.”
“What’s weird?” Momo didn’t mean to say that out loud, and she’s too flabbergasted to backtrack.
“Nothing? Just, I don’t know.” Everything is weird. And because at this point there’s no hope for Momo, she decides to ask, “Who do you like?”
The low feeling is still there, but not as strong as before. Maybe she’s too tired to feel it. Maybe she’s finally accepting everything. Either way, it doesn’t feel too terrible to keep eye contact with Shoto. It feels odd. It feels comfortable. It’s not until his hand twitches that she realizes how close their hands are together.
“I’m kind of nervous to tell you,” he says.
“You can trust me not to tell anyone.” Her hand moves---because she thinks she can, because she thinks Shoto will accept it---on top of his and lightly squeezes. “Are you gonna confess to them?”
He breaks eye contact to look down at their hands. “I don’t know. I don’t think they like me like that.”
Later, she’ll feel sad that there’s someone else, but right now, she’s doing her best not to dwell on it. She needs to be a friend first. “You won’t know unless you try. Mina confessed to you without knowing what would happen. And it didn’t end badly.”
“Maybe. I could do it. But they seem really reluctant to like someone.” At that, Shoto curls his fingers enough to properly hold Momo’s hand. She doesn’t understand what he means by his crush seeming reluctant. Momo isn’t sure why she wants to keep pressing the issue. But she has a strong need to encourage Shoto, to let him know it’s okay. He’s braver than her. She doesn’t want him to hold back and have regrets later like her.
“Do it anyway,” she says, and that’s all there is to it. “It might suck if they don’t return your feelings, and you’re gonna have to go through feeling bad for a while until it stops. But it’ll turn out all right.”
Shoto still isn’t looking up from their hands. Momo almost doesn’t want to leave the nurse’s office, and wants to stay in this moment, holding Shoto’s hand. It’s the first time she’s felt relatively fine since the sleepover.
“Okay then,” he says. Momo hums as Shoto looks at her again and she offers him a smile. He stares until Momo thinks there must be something wrong or something weird on her face, but then he breathes in and says more.
“I like you, Momo. I like you a lot.”
Momo’s brain must have turned to sludge and covered her ear drums, because Shoto’s words sound muffled, too unbelievable, and once again Momo exclaims, “ Huh?”
A chair squeaks back sharply and the nurse says, “This isn’t a place for you to skip class and spend time with your boyfriend.” Momo doesn’t have time to freak out over that accusation, because she’s still trying to process what Shoto just said.
Shoto has the audacity to laugh, hold Momo’s hand tighter, and leans forward like he’s going to kiss her. But he rests his forehead on her shoulder instead, and Momo’s other hand automatically comes up and place itself on his back.
“I don’t want to make assumptions,” he starts, “so I’ll let you answer. Do you . . . do you like me back?”
His question runs on a never-ending trackloop in her head. Her tongue is dry and her heart is doing odd twists. She thinks about all the daydreams she’s had where she confesses to Shoto her true feelings, and all positive and negative outcomes. She almost wants to lie. She almost wants to believe Shoto is messing with her, but he’s not like that.
She’s scared.
But she needs to take her own advice.
“Of course I like you back.”