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Her tone studiously casual, Pepper asked, "Tony? Have you ever seen Bruce smile?"
Tony sipped his coffee and took a moment to think about Bruce's rare, fleeting smiles. Bruce smiled like he thought that if anyone ever noticed he was happy, they would immediately try to put an end to whatever was making him feel that way. "Yeah, sure."
"Hmm. Do you know if I did something to offend him?"
"No, of course not. Why?"
"I don't know." Pepper stirred her oatmeal. "He just always seems sort of sad when he sees me? Or scared, maybe? To be honest, I don't usually mind if it men are afraid of me, but usually I've worked to cultivate that effect...I wasn't even trying with Bruce."
Tony laughed. "If it makes you feel any better, I'm terrified of you."
"Tony, seriously though, about Bruce?"
Tony sighed. "Bruce is just like that. He's just...shy." Shy wasn't quite the right word for it, but he wasn't sure how to express what Bruce was. Traumatized might come closer, but he wasn't sure that captured Bruce's resilience.
"But he's not shy with you."
"Well...I've spent more time with him than you have. It took him awhile to warm up to me. And he's still not...the warmest." To some extent, Tony appreciated Bruce's reserve; people were often overly familiar with Tony, and one could never accuse Bruce of that. Still, he took Pepper's point--it would be nice to see Bruce smile more often.
"You spent like two days together and then you brought him home with you like a stray puppy."
"Well, they were two really intense days. You're not jealous, are you, Pep?"
"No, of course not. Just, he's been here for a week and I've really only seen him in passing, and every time I encounter him he looks terrified. If he's going to be sticking around for awhile...I'd love for him to stop making that face at me. …Is he going to be sticking around for awhile?"
"I don't know," Tony said honestly. "I...I hope he will, but pretty much every day he makes vague noises about how he should really be moving on soon. He's not really used to staying in one place for very long." The other Avengers had all gone their separate ways shortly after their shawarma dinner, but Tony had coaxed Bruce into staying at the Tower. He couldn't let Bruce leave so soon, not after what they'd shared. Not when Bruce didn't have anywhere else to go.
"Because of the Hulk?"
"I assume so, yeah. He doesn't really talk about it but, uh, I read all of his files...well, technically the Army consider him to be stolen property."
"What, just all of him?"
"All of the Hulk, but he's not really...separable from Bruce."
"So they want to what, lock him up?" Pepper asked indignantly.
"They want to weaponize him," Tony replied, sharing Pepper's indignation. Tony knew a lot about weapons; he certainly knew enough to know Bruce wasn't one.
"The poor guy."
"Yeah. But Bruce doesn't want to hurt anyone, he just wants to help. He's so brilliant, Pep, but he's just been staying off the radar, working at all these clinics in developing countries. Which is noble, obviously, but with the right resources, he could really change the world."
"Seems like he's in the right place, then."
"Yeah." Tony was glad Pepper understood. He knew not everyone would be so understanding about Tony having brought the Hulk home with him. But Tony had seen how calm Bruce was. He wasn't going to just go green over a minor provocation. If he'd thought for a second that Bruce's presence in the Tower would endanger Pepper, he would have found a safe house for Bruce somewhere else, and Pepper knew that.
"So...do you think you could put in a good word for me? Or help me think of what to say to him?"
Tony leaned in to kiss her. "Just be yourself, Pep. What's not to like about that? Bruce just needs a little more time to get to know you. I promise. I'll bring him to dinner tonight, how about that?"
"Okay." Pepper put her oatmeal bowl in the dishwasher. "But what should I talk to him about? He seems so quiet."
"There's always my favorite conversational topic: me."
Pepper rolled her eyes. "I should be home by 7. I'll see if I can't think of something better by then."
After a long, productive day in the workshop, but before Bruce managed to quietly disappear to his room, Tony casually said, "Hey, Bruce, ready for dinner?"
Bruce glanced at him from beneath furrowed eyebrows. "Oh, I was just going to--"
"C'mon, come eat with me. We'll get Thai. You like Thai, right? If you don't, we'll get something else."
"I like Thai," Bruce replied, with just a flicker of a smile. Tony would have missed it if he hadn't been looking for it.
"Great!"
Tony had JARVIS place a large delivery order and then led Bruce to the shared dining room. (Theoretically shared; rarely used.) Tony started to spread out the various takeout containers while Bruce set the table.
Pepper swept into the room like a glamorous hurricane and greeted Tony with a kiss, then she pulled Bruce into a hug. "Bruce, I'm so glad you could join us!"
"Oh, um, thanks," Bruce replied. He took a step back and sat down, carefully putting the table between himself and Pepper. "Uh, how was your day, Pepper?"
"Well!" Pepper started, and launched into a story about a misunderstanding with a Chinese client. "But it all worked out fine in the end, thank god."
Bruce laughed and replied with a story about a problem caused by his own mangled Portuguese.
Then Pepper asked, "Hey, Bruce, where are you from originally?" And Tony saw Bruce immediately freeze over like The Day After Tomorrow.
"Ohio," Bruce mumbled, staring at his plate. He took a deep breath before adding, "What about you?"
"Oh, I’m from New York." Pepper flashed a look at Tony, a you see what I mean? look.
Tony winced and wracked his mind for a joke to lighten the mood. "Don’t worry, Bruce, you only have to live here for another week before you can start telling people you’re from New York."
"Tony! I am from New York," Pepper said.
Tony was all set with familiar banter about his and Pepper’s wildly different upbringings, when Bruce picked up his half-full plate and said, "Excuse me, thanks for dinner but I’m just going to turn in for the night."
"Okay, see you tomorrow!" Tony said with forced-brightness.
"Bruce, wait, I’m so sorry if I offended you!" Pepper said.
"Hmm? Oh, no, you didn’t, I’m just...tired," Bruce said vaguely. He ducked his head and fled, after carefully putting his leftovers in the refrigerator.
Pepper bent her head to the table in frustration. "Seriously?" she asked.
Tony rubbed her shoulders. "Hey, that’s my bad, I should have told you...I didn’t think it would come up but I don’t think Bruce likes to talk about his childhood, like, at all."
"Yeah, you definitely should have told me when I specifically asked you how to talk to him!" Pepper said.
"Look, I’ve never asked him about it, so I didn’t realize it would be such an immediate no-go, but, uh, I read all of SHIELD's files on him."
"And?"
Tony sighed. "It’s just that I’m sure Bruce doesn’t have any good memories from Ohio. His father was really abusive. He killed Bruce’s mom when Bruce was six."
"Oh my god, that’s so awful," Pepper said, her voice choked up.
"Yeah. So...well, I don’t know if he knows I know. We haven’t talked about it."
"Okay, well...god. No wonder I've never seen him smile. What can I talk to him about? I thought that was pretty basic small talk."
"Um...I mean, his research?" Pepper grimaced and Tony added, "I’m not holding anything out on you. We just...that's pretty much all we talk about. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about his dad stuff, I just really hate to think about it...JARVIS, will you send all of my files about Bruce to Pepper?"
"Of course, sir."
Pepper immediately started scrolling through her phone with her left hand, still eating salad with her right. "This is too much, Tony."
"I know what you mean." It was hard for Tony to think about everything Bruce had been through.
"I mean, literally, it's too long. I can't...I just need like, three bullet points of conversation starters."
"Oh. Um...yoga? I think you guys both do yoga."
"You think."
"Well, I teased him about doing yoga, to help control his temper, and he didn't deny it, so."
"...how is it that he puts up with you all day but I ask one innocent question and he leaves the dinner table?"
"I'm very charming, Pepper."
Pepper crossed her arms.
"As are you, of course," he added hastily. "I dunno, to be honest, I think I kind of hold him hostage all day in the workshop. Now he's got Stockholm Syndrome."
"Hmph. That's not funny, Tony."
"I guess it isn't," Tony said with a sigh. "I'll try to talk to him, Pepper. But really, he'll come around."
"I just want him to feel comfortable here."
"I'm sure he will."
But the next day, when dinner rolled around, Bruce quietly claimed that he wasn't hungry. Tony decided not to press him, but promised to leave leftovers in the fridge for him.
After the two of them ate dinner, Pepper dropped by Bruce's suite to invite him to watch a movie, but she came back to the living room alone. "I told him we'd watch a Star Trek movie! I thought you said he liked those."
"He does! I don't know, Pepper, he's probably just tired."
"It's barely 8 PM."
"Well...he might still be jet lagged from India." Pepper sighed and tucked her head against Tony's shoulder. "On the bright side," Tony added, "Now you can pick the movie?"
The following day was a repeat. Bruce was quietly brilliant all day in the workshop but retreated to his room the instant Tony declared himself to be done with work for the day.
Pepper said nothing, but Tony stewed. There was a problem that needed to be fixed. That night he slept fitfully, tossing and turning as his brain searched for solutions. Around 3 AM, he pulled himself out of bed, managing to avoid disturbing Pepper. If he wasn't going to be asleep, he might as well get some work done. He decided to drop by the kitchen on his way to his workshop, and was surprised to bump into Bruce, wearing flannel pants and a Stark Industries T-shirt that Tony had given him.
"Bruce! Fancy running into you."
"Sorry," Bruce said.
"What on earth are you apologizing for?"
"I don't know," Bruce admitted. "I just--I just don't want to be in the way too much. You and Pepper will get sick of me soon enough, I'm sure."
A painful penny dropped for Tony. "Wait. Is that why you've been avoiding Pepper?"
"I--I haven't been avoiding her! I just...don't want to take up too much of her time. I know she's busy, and I know you two don't get much time together…"
Tony scrubbed his face with his hand. "Pepper," he said quietly, "has been convinced that she has done something to offend you. She's pretty upset about it."
"Oh no, I'm sorry," Bruce said. "I didn't--I thought she was just being polite. Do you want some chamomile tea?"
"No," Tony said. "Of course not. To both."
"Okay," Bruce said. He held his mug of tea with both hands, an uncertain expression on his face. Tony felt a sudden swell of fondness for Bruce.
"It didn't bother you when she asked where you were from?"
"Oh. No, of course not. I mean I don't--I don't usually like to talk about...my past, but I know--I know it was just a simple question. I'm sorry, I'm not...I'm not great at...people. So it's usually just better for everyone when I keep to myself." Bruce clutched his mug like it was a lifeline.
"Haven't we made it clear that we want you here?"
"No, you have, it's just…"
"Just? You don't believe me?"
"It isn't that I think you're lying, it's just...hard to tell what might just be courtesy. I...I would hate to overstay my welcome."
"Bruce, listen, if Pepper or I ever don't want you around, we'll let you know. I won't be subtle. I'm not exactly known for my tact. Okay?"
Bruce nodded, though he still looked unsure.
"Bruce, look, do you think we invite a lot of people to live with us?"
"You invited all of the Avengers. I was just the only one who didn't have anywhere else to go."
Tony peered in the fridge. "Okay, sure, so we invited five people to live with us. It's still a pretty exclusive group."
Bruce let out a soft almost-laugh. "It's been a long time since I lived with anyone else. It's...different."
Tony gave up on the fridge and opened a cabinet. "Well, let me know if we can do anything to make it easier for you."
"I--I guess I don't really understand why you guys are being so nice to me."
Tony closed the cabinet and looked up; he was taken aback by the heartbreaking sincerity on Bruce's face. "Bruce, first of all, I'm honestly not that nice to you. Pepper's much nicer. She's a very nice person."
Bruce smiled faintly.
Tony continued, counting on his fingers, "Second of all, remember the time you saved my life? Third of all, remember the time you saved the entire world with physics? Fourth of all, you get my jokes. Fifth of all, you're pretty much the best human lab partner I've ever had. That's a whole hand of reasons, did you need more?"
Bruce's smile grew slightly stronger. Tony continued, "Hey, you didn't eat all the dried mango, did you? It's fine if you did, just…"
"I think you left it at your workstation yesterday," Bruce said.
"Aha! JARVIS, can you confirm?"
"Yes, sir. If you had said that's what you were looking for, I could have informed you of its whereabouts earlier," JARVIS chided.
"Well, I didn't know that's what I was looking for until I couldn't find it," Tony said, with an eyeroll toward the ceiling. He held up the pointer finger on his other hand and told Bruce, "Sixth of all, you know where my snacks are. Speaking of which, do you want some?"
"What?"
"Dried mango."
"Oh, no thanks. I'm actually, uh, going back to bed." Bruce held his mug with one hand and ran the other through his disheveled curls.
"Really? Three AM is when I do some of my best work."
Bruce shook his head, his smile dimming. "Sorry. I just--it's easier for me to keep the Other Guy happy if I get enough sleep."
"Ah. But it seems like he does his best work when he's angry?"
Bruce's smile disappeared altogether. "If you want to call it that. Good night, Tony. Enjoy your mangoes." Bruce turned to leave.
"Wait, Bruce--" Bruce paused and turned back. "I mean it, you know, the Other Guy did great work, when we needed him. I'm happy to have you here. Both of you. So's Pepper. Okay? If you ever need more reasons, just let me know. I know you're a scientist, so I'll be happy to get you all the data you need to be persuaded."
Bruce nodded hesitantly and continued down the hallway.
At breakfast the next morning, Tony optimistically recounted the conversation to Pepper, assuming she'd be happy to hear that Bruce wasn't angry with her. But she scrunched up her nose. "What were you both doing in the kitchen at 3 AM?"
Tony shrugged. "Having a productive conversation, obviously."
She gave him a goodbye kiss. "I wish you'd both get some more sleep. Maybe you can implement afternoon nap time in your workshop?"
"Well, I'll run that by the committee, see what they think."
"Hmm. Maybe I'll just bring the committee to see you."
That afternoon, Pepper dropped by the workshop. "Hi boys, I brought you a gift."
"Ooh?" Tony asked.
"Don't get too excited, I'm technically regifting. But one of our Chinese clients gave me some tea, and I thought I'd share."
Tony scrunched up his face with disappointment, but Bruce crept forward from his workstation to examine the tea. A delicate smile bloomed over his lips. "Oh, aged raw pu-erh, this is really good stuff." He darted his eyes from the package to Pepper, who smiled back at him. "Would you like some? I could brew it."
Pepper glanced at her phone. "Oh, sure. I could use a tea break."
"Tony, do you want any?"
"Blech, I'll stick with coffee."
Bruce gave a small, familiar smile and shook his head at Tony's dramatic reaction. "OK. I'll be right back with two cups of tea, then."
"There's a microwave up here, you don't have to go all the way down to the kitchen," Tony protested.
Bruce raised his eyebrows and held up the package of tea. "I'm not making tea this good with microwaved water," he said, and stalked out of the lab.
Pepper laughed, and Tony muttered, "Does it really matter how the water gets hot as long as it gets hot?"
But once the door swished shut behind Bruce, Tony said, "See? He smiled at you. You figured out the way to Bruce's heart."
"Regifted tea," Pepper mused.
"I think he likes that it's regifted. He gets self-conscious about gifts that he thinks are too big."
"Most people do, Tony."
"His definition of 'too big' is particularly small, Pepper," Tony sniffed, thinking about how hard it had been to persuade Bruce to take a StarkTablet for his personal use. Tony had had to show Bruce just how many of the things Tony had lying around before Bruce had agreed to take it.
"Well, if he sticks around here long enough, I'm sure that will change."
Bruce returned, carefully carrying a teapot in one hand and two cups in the other. He set them down on the counter near the coffee maker and waited quietly. Pepper and Tony exchanged glances and shrugs. Then JARVIS said, "It has now been four minutes, Dr. Banner."
"Thanks, JARVIS," Bruce replied. He poured the tea into cups and brought one to Pepper.
She took a sip and her eyebrows went up. "Bruce. This is the best tea I've ever tasted."
He smiled again. "Thank you for sharing it with me."
"If I hadn't shared it with you, I guarantee it would have ended up stashed in a cabinet and never gotten brewed, ever," Pepper said.
"Or brewed with microwave water," Tony said, in a spooky voice.
"Well. I'll keep it, then, so it avoids that terrible fate," Bruce replied solemnly. "But I'll be happy to make some for you whenever you'd like."
"I am going to take you up on that!" Pepper promised, and Bruce smiled at her.
Lying in bed that night, Tony said, "You got Bruce to smile three times today, you know. I think that's a record."
"Did I?"
"First when you brought the tea, then when you liked the way he made the tea, and then a third time when you said you'd come back for more tea. Thrice!"
"Well, they were kind of all under the umbrella of one tea-based smile, though."
"But he stopped smiling between each one. You had to trigger a fresh smile."
"Hmm. Well, that is nice, but it isn't as if it's a contest," Pepper said airily.
"Unless…"
"Oh, no."
"C'mon! Just for fun. Let's make it a contest. We can keep track and see who can make Bruce smile more." Tony had been thinking of Bruce's sadness as a problem to solve; it wouldn't hurt to incorporate Pepper into the solution.
"That's weird, Tony."
"We've had other contests before. Like, uh, when we tried to see who could get the best thing from Skymall. Or try the most flavors of gelato. Or win the most games of Solitaire."
"But this one is different. It has another person in it," Pepper protested.
"It's not like we're seeing who can make him cry the most. It's a game where everyone will win!"
"No, you'll win, because you spend way more time with him."
"Okay, that's fair. Well...we'll factor that in. Smiles per minute. JARVIS can help judge."
"This is ridiculous."
"Don't you want Bruce to be happy here?" Tony asked, batting his eyelashes.
After a pause, Pepper asked, "What are the stakes of this contest?", and then Tony knew he had her. They were both highly competitive.
"Um...to be determined? Winner owes loser a favor?"
"Hmm. If I win, I want us to take a vacation. No Avengers stuff, for...a week?"
Tony frowned and bit his tongue to keep from saying, Not even if there's an emergency? Instead, he replied, "Okay, fine. If I win, I want...um...pre-emptive forgiveness for whatever the next dumb thing I do is."
Pepper laughed. "Deal."
The next morning, they figured out the exact terms of the contest with JARVIS, and Pepper and Tony set out on their mission with earnestness. They were willing to try anything to get Bruce to relax and smile. Days turned into weeks, and Bruce gradually grew more comfortable at Stark Tower. He spoke up more, told jokes, accepted invitations and gifts more freely. His smiles were more frequent, but still uncommon.
Although they were in competition with each other, Tony and Pepper still compared hushed notes about what strategies were successful. They were both independent researchers, collecting data on one subject. A compliment might make Bruce smile, but if it were too full of praise, it would just make him blush and deny it (which was cute, but awarded no points). Being asked to help out with something would nearly always get a smile. It was playing dirty, but a cute picture of a puppy would nearly always do the trick.
Tony enjoyed seeing Bruce come out of his shell, and he also enjoyed seeing how sweet and thoughtful Pepper was. Of course, he knew that from personal experience, but he hadn't always realized all the planning that went into her gestures. (Belatedly, after watching her comb through a fruit cart for the freshest green apple to casually place on Bruce's desk, he understood why she'd been so annoyed when he'd showed up at her office with impulsively-purchased roadside strawberries.)
Outside the Tower, New York was still rebuilding from the Chitauri attack. Inside the Tower, Tony was still having nightmares about the wormhole, about what had almost been--and more often than not, when Tony's nightmares dragged him out of bed, he ran into Bruce. Bruce never talked about what kept him up at night, which was fine, because Tony didn't really want to talk about his stuff either. But Bruce would usually offer him tea, and sometimes Tony would accept it. (He still hadn't acquired the taste for tea, but Bruce liked sharing and would usually reward it with a smile.) With or without tea, Bruce's company was always soothing. But eventually, Bruce would wander back to his bedroom, and Tony would go back to bed with Pepper, feeling wistful about Bruce's solitude. He almost wanted to invite Bruce to join them in bed, just for sleep, but he knew that offer would be rejected.
Then one day at dinner, a few months into their contest, Pepper turned to Bruce and said, in her perfectly casual way, "Hey, you know, this Friday there's a fundraiser for Doctors Without Borders that Tony and I were going to, and I thought you might want to join us? One of our board members canceled so we have an extra ticket. It's a late night event at the Museum of Natural History?"
Tony knew that the "extra ticket" was a lie, but that they'd buy one for Bruce if he would go. He watched Bruce's shy smile as he said, "Oh, yeah, maybe, thanks," and he watched Pepper's gorgeous return smile, and he felt as warm and fuzzy as if he'd just watched a puppy video compilation.
"You should definitely come. Don't let the ticket go to waste!" Tony said, using the tried and true strategy of letting Bruce think he was doing them a favor. (He was, really--the money didn't matter to Tony, but the boring fundraiser gala would be much more fun if Bruce was there.) Then he added, "Plus, the museum won't be crowded, so you can see how the Other Guy compares in size to the blue whale." That was a risky gambit; sometimes Bruce would shut down at any mention of the Hulk. But more often than not, Bruce seemed to appreciate that Tony was willing to casually talk about his green alter ego.
Bruce grinned and said, "I think it's probably too short of notice to get a suit in his size," and Tony felt something distinctly butterfly-esque in his stomach. Shit. He'd been trying to deny the feelings that had been bubbling up lately, trying to tell himself that it was just a game he and Pepper were playing, just something to make their new friend more comfortable in his new life, but when Bruce gave that grin...it made Tony's confused feelings harder to deny.
But then Tony said, "Ah, you're right. Besides, I can't wait to see how great you look in decent clothes."
Bruce's smile faded and his expression grew hard to read. "I'm sure you'll be disappointed."
"No way! You'll look great. Right, Pep?"
"Of course you will," Pepper agreed.
But Bruce looked troubled and excused himself shortly after dinner. Tony tried to process where that conversation had gone awry, and why it had made Tony feel so terribly. He supposed complimenting Bruce's looks was a bit flirty, but then, Tony was a bit of a flirt. But...oh. Oh.
Later that night, while he and Pepper were getting settled for the night, Tony licked his lips and decided to just blurt it out. "Hey Pep?"
"Mm?"
"I think we should end the contest."
She narrowed her eyes. "Because you're winning?"
"What? Am I?" Tony asked, with faux-innocence. He definitely was, although Pepper had put in an extremely respectable showing. Unusually for him, Tony struggled with words. "No, I--I just--it's starting to feel…I mean, watching you with him is...well, it's just..."
She nodded. "Yeah."
"Yeah? Okay," Tony agreed, hoping Pepper would save him from having to articulate his feelings.
"I mean, I agree about...how it's starting to feel. Like we're both falling in love with him. Right?"
"Um. Right," Tony replied, thrilled to have it articulated.
"Well, why don't we see how he feels about us?"
Tony bit his lip. "But Pep...I need him to stick around and work with me...and I think it would be too awkward if we have a threesome." The idea of a threesome with Bruce was super hot, obviously, but he couldn't bear it if Bruce left afterward, the way their past thirds had. And even though Bruce had begun to relax a bit more, he was still so reserved...Tony was terrified of doing anything that might make him flee.
"I'm not talking about a threesome. I mean, not a one-night-threesome. I'm talking about opening up our relationship to include Bruce. If he's interested," Pepper said, matter-of-factly.
"Oh. Oh! Yeah?" As soon as she'd said it, Tony's heart had lifted. Subconsciously, he might have been afraid to suggest it, because what if she'd said no? But of course Pepper saw what they needed to do. Of course she was right.
Pepper leaned in to kiss him. "Yeah. I mean, I know we haven't tried having a...a long-term third before, but I think we just hadn't met the right person yet. And I think now maybe we have."
"You have the best ideas, Pepper."
"Mm-hmm, and don't you forget it. And hey, I have another pretty good idea," she said, straddling his lap and kissing him.
"Mmm," Tony moaned his agreement.
After a string of great ideas, Pepper curled up on Tony's chest and said, "Let's talk to Bruce before that Doctors Without Borders benefit on Friday. Then, if he's into it, it can be our first date."
Tony sleepily kissed the top of her head. "You are such a good planner, babe."
"And Tony…maybe let me do the talking? At least at first."
"Fine," Tony grumbled. Even though he was great at talking, Pepper could, admittedly, have a more delicate touch.
The evening of the fundraiser, Pepper and Tony got dressed up in their room. Pepper looked even more gorgeous than usual in an emerald green dress. In his tux, Tony didn't think he looked too bad himself.
"Bruce is definitely going to say yes," Tony declared. "I mean, look at us."
Pepper smiled. "I hope you're right."
"I'm always right."
But when they went down to Bruce's suite, Bruce opened the door dressed in flannel pants and a T-shirt. He stood in the doorway with a concerned expression on his face. This was not the ideal start to the conversation Tony and Pepper wanted to have.
"Bruce! Didn't you see the suit I left hanging on your door?" Tony asked. He'd had it tailored based on measurements JARVIS had sneakily captured. Bruce was going to look incredible in it; he was always adorable, but clothes that actually fit him would be icing on the cake.
Bruce shifted on his feet uncomfortably. "I--I'm sorry, I just don't think I should go to the thing tonight."
"What? Why not?" Pepper asked.
"I just, um, I don't think I would...belong."
"It's for Doctors Without Borders. You're literally a doctor without a border. You belong there more than we do," Tony said drily.
"Ha, um, yeah. I just--I just think you two should go. I don't want to, um, get in your way."
Tony cast a sidelong glance at Pepper. Pepper said, "Bruce, may we come in for a moment? We have something we'd like to discuss with you."
Bruce twisted his hands together for a moment, then shrugged and pushed the door open. He retreated back into his suite, where he sat stiffly on an armchair.
Pepper and Tony settled next to each other on the suite's loveseat.
Pepper placed a hand on Tony's knee, indicating to him that she wanted to talk. She said, "Bruce, Tony and I have been so happy that you've decided to stay with us here in Stark Tower, and we have an offer we'd like to make you. But first I just want to make sure you know that no matter what you decide, you will always be welcome here. Okay?"
Bruce looked miserable as he mumbled, "Okay."
Pepper smiled reassuringly. "Good. So, Bruce...something that Tony and I try to keep quiet from the media is that we're in an open relationship. Are you familiar with that concept?"
Bruce visibly paled and nodded slowly.
"As you probably know, Tony and I both travel a fair amount, mostly for various work trips. That isn't the only reason we've kept our relationship open, but it's a factor for us."
"Another factor is that it's just selfish to keep this to ourselves," Tony said, gesturing at himself and Pepper.
"Tony," Pepper said.
Tony shrugged. Bruce looked bewildered.
"But another factor is simply that sometimes we find new people who interest us, and even though Tony and I love each other very much, we don't see the need to limit ourselves to only seeing one another."
Bruce looked frozen.
Gently, Pepper said, "Bruce, what we're saying is that Tony and I are both attracted to you, and we'd like to invite you to join our relationship. If you're interested in both or either of us. If you're not, that is completely fine, like I said at the outset of this conversation."
Bruce took a deep breath. "Could you. Um. What do you mean by that. Exactly."
"The exact details would have to be worked out between the three of us, of course, depending on what interests you. We could continue our friendship with more emotional intimacy. We could go on dates...like tonight...we could have sex, the three of us together or you with either of us."
Bruce laughed. "You want to have a threesome with the Hulk?" he asked incredulously. "You can't be serious."
"No, sweetheart, we want to have a threesome with you," Tony said. It crushed him to know that Bruce still thought of himself that way. "Multiple threesomes! Not a one night stand threesome. Unless that's what you want? But personally I think you should consider committing to us. You already live with us!"
Bruce shook his head. "This is crazy. You--I should have left a long time ago. You two have such a good thing going, the last thing you need is, is me screwing it up. You've already both been so generous with me, and I've been...I…"
"You've made us really happy," Pepper said.
"Not right now," Tony said. "Now you're being kind of a downer."
"Tony," Pepper said.
"Well, it's true. Bruce, just tell us honestly, are you not attracted to us? And before you answer, seriously, look at us."
Bruce looked at them with eyes on the verge of tears. "I wasn't going to say anything," he mumbled. "I never would have said anything."
"But we're asking," Pepper said. "We'd like for you to say something."
Bruce closed his eyes and nodded. He looked like he'd just confessed to murder.
"Good! So we're all attracted to one another. We're all consenting adults here. So what's wrong?" Pepper asked.
"I--I don't want to hurt you. Either of you. I can't--I shouldn't…" He wrapped his arms around himself and looked at the floor.
"Do you know what hurts me?" Tony asked.
"What?" Bruce asked cautiously.
"When totally adorable guys turn down dates with me and my lovely girlfriend."
Bruce shook his head.
"Seriously, it's hurtful."
"Bruce, we understand that you're nervous. We can definitely take things slow," Pepper said. "And, again, if you're really not interested, we'll understand. But...it seems like...you are interested?"
"I've been feeling so guilty," Bruce confessed. "I--I never would have...I don't want to interfere with you two, with what you have."
"You won't interfere. You'll enhance!" Tony said.
After an impossibly long pause, Bruce asked, "You're sure? You want...me?" He sounded so confused, it made Tony mad. Not at Bruce, but at everyone and everything had made him feel this way.
"Yes. You, Bruce Banner, you unbelievably smart idiot."
"Why?" Bruce asked helplessly.
Tony sighed. "Haven't I already given you a list of reasons?" Bruce tilted his head in confusion. "Remember? The night you knew where my mangoes were?"
Bruce's eyes widened with recollection. "Oh. Well, those were reasons why you were nice to me. This is...this is more than that."
"Yeah, but it's the same stuff. But moreso. Oh, Bruce, the more I get to know you the crazier I am about you, honestly. You're so kind and caring, and so funny, and smart, and you have the cutest hair…"
"You care for us, Bruce, we know you do," Pepper said. "You make us feel cared for, you make me tea and you make Tony take breaks from work, which I've never been able to manage, and you remember what authors I like and send me podcast interviews with them...and we want to take care of you too."
"You do. You are. You don't have to…"
"Bruce! Would you please try to stop thinking of yourself as a burden? We're not doing anything we don't want to," Tony said.
Pepper nodded. "It sounds as if you're interested in us. And we're interested in you. So the rest is just details. Right?"
"A lot of details," Bruce mumbled. "But...but...yes, all right. I am...interested. Definitely."
"Yay!" Tony said. He got up from the couch and draped himself over Bruce's lap. Bruce froze and blushed and looked up at Tony with huge, deer-in-headlights eyes.
"Hi Bruce," Tony cooed. "Would you mind terribly if I kissed you?"
Bruce cast his eyes at Pepper, and Tony turned to look, too. She smiled and nodded. Tony turned back to look at Bruce, who also nodded. Tony leaned forward and brought his lips to Bruce's in a soft, gentle kiss. He pulled back and smiled encouragingly at Bruce.
"See? The world didn't end," Tony said.
Bruce gave a shaky smile.
"Let's try again," Tony said. This time, Bruce parted his lips and let the kiss deepen. When they finally pulled apart to catch their breaths, Bruce looked dazed.
Pepper had stood from the couch and come to stand next to them. "May I have a kiss, too, Bruce?" she asked.
Bruce let out a strangled little laugh and nodded.
Tony sighed. "I suppose I'll have to get up, then."
"It would be polite of you," Pepper said. "I'm not sure this chair would support all three of us."
"Hey, I won the contest, so it's only fair I got the first kiss," Tony said, even as he grudgingly got up from Bruce's lap to make room for Pepper. Pepper sat down very carefully, mindful of her dress.
"Don't worry," she said, "it's transfer-proof lipstick." And then she cupped his cheeks in her hands and gave Bruce a tender kiss.
When she rose from his lap, Bruce looked like there should have been cartoon birds and hearts spinning around his head. His mouth was slack and his eyes were glazed. Tony had never seen him look more confused, not even when they were trying to understand alien technology on zero hours of sleep. It was adorable.
"Come on, Bruce, why don't you get dressed so we can go on our date?" Pepper coaxed.
Bruce blinked. "It isn't too late?"
"Not at all," Pepper assured him. "It's better this way, really. We'll miss the photographers on the red carpet but we can still have fun at the museum."
"Oh. Okay. Um, give me a minute?"
"Of course, darling," Pepper said. "Why don't you meet us in the common room and we'll go down to the garage together?"
"Okay," Bruce agreed distractedly. Pepper took Tony's hand and guided him out into the hallway.
"You were magnificent, my love," he told her.
"You did okay," she replied.
He laughed and kissed her. "Do you think he's going to come down and meet us?"
"If he's not down here in ten minutes, I'm going back for him," Pepper declared.
"JARVIS, you have to tell us if he tries to jump out the window," Tony said.
"Yes, sir."
But miraculously, Bruce sidled into the common room a few minutes later. His face looked sheepish, but the rest of him looked fantastic in the tux. He'd combed his hair; it was still unruly, but rakishly so. Tony and Pepper each grabbed one of his hands and led him to the car. Tony drove, and Pepper forced Bruce to sit shotgun. She lounged in the back, leaning her head forward between the front seats to participate in conversation.
Bruce cleared his throat and said, "Hey Tony, what did you mean when you said you won the contest? What contest?"
"Oh. Um, well, it's silly, really," Tony said. He hadn't meant to mention it in front of Bruce. He knew in his heart that the contest wasn't anything bad, but he was suddenly desperately afraid that Bruce would take it the wrong way. Bruce was so sensitive.
"What contest?" Bruce repeated.
"Well, it's just, when you first got here, you didn't seem very happy," Pepper interjected.
"So, well, I know it sounds dumb, but we just decided to compete to see, well, which of us could...make you smile more?"
Silence hung in the car for a long moment. Tony gave Bruce's face an anxious sideways glance. Bruce looked stunned. Probably not angry? But sometime Bruce's emotions were hard to read, despite Tony's months of careful study.
Pepper said, "It was Tony's idea."
"It was completely innocent," Tony said. "Well, it was kind of addictive. But it was so nice to see you happy, we just kept…oh, Brucie, please don't be mad."
"I'm not mad," Bruce said. He sounded kind of choked up. "I...that's so...sweet?"
"Oh. Good. Because I won," Tony said.
"You cheated," Pepper grumbled.
"I did not! JARVIS has been collecting data. It's all there. I can show you when we get home."
"JARVIS, who you programmed," Pepper said.
"Whatever the data says, I'm actually pretty sure I won?" Bruce said.
Tony dropped the car with the valet and the three of them strolled into the gala. Pepper had been wrong; although they were late, they hadn't quite missed all the photographers. One straggler lit up with joy at the chance to shoot "Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, and guest" arriving at the event. The photo was almost instantly uploaded and tagged. Tony pulled it up on his phone and happily showed it to his dates: sandwiched between Tony and Pepper in front of the Doctors Without Borders logo step and repeat banner, Bruce was giving the camera the biggest smile they'd ever seen on his face.