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what do you mean to me?

Chapter 5: Chapter 5

Summary:

Apologies for the lack of use in creative words. Also, sorry it takes me so... so long... to write anything. And it's honestly not as much as I'd like it to be, but I have more ideas. I'm definitly going to keep posting chapters, for my own amusement I guess. :D

Um. Enjoy? Maybe, Idk. Thank you for reading anyways.

Chapter Text

From the usual sleepy mornings, today was different. From the start it was efficient, with soldiers bustling from every direction. The controlled commotion stuns him every time he sees it— normally before most expeditions. From gathering horses to relating squad formations, someone is constantly walking past him. To restrict himself from being a menace, he stands from a distance to watch, sort of amazed but also slightly repulsed. The fact that titans so strong, and with such little knowledge you can only go so far.

“Are you going to stand there?” A deep voice pitches from next to him, large cargo boxes in both muscular arms. “Some of the supply carts need assistance.” Rather than telling him to do it, he simply gestures to struggling soldiers with his nose. There were few talking amongst themselves as they worked, anticipating but also seeming scared at the same time. The mood everyone is in is infectious, everyone seems different.

Levi uncrosses his arms. They had not been struggling much, so why did he have to intervene? Recognizing the pale blond hair and shorter girl, he sighs and gives Miche a small yet understanding glare. The taller man simply shrugs, though, a light curve of his lips as he continues to assist the others. Between him and Hanji, he didn’t exactly get away with much. Of course, he shouldn’t expect anything special, considering himself.

Without hesitance, he makes his way over. Two men Levi does not recognize stare with confusion in their eyes when he practically snatches the overly large box from them with ease. Sure, it had some weight behind it, but nothing Levi was not used to. In a swift motion, he lays it on the horse-drawn cart, then dusts his hands off with a slight look of disgust on his face. The cart was pretty dusty from weeks of not being used.

There. Done. He’d helped out, and many soldiers had already looked like they were finishing up as well. The minute he thought of walking away, the girl Petra spoke up to him. “Wow, that was crazy heavy! Thanks a lot, Levi.” She offers an incredibly polite smile. Not used to such an interaction, he instantly regrets his decision to stay and chat.

“It’s really not a big deal…” He trails off, staring directly at the one boy who still refuses to make eye contact with him. Was it scary witnessing that? Maybe others are on a different scale. It takes all but two seconds for Petra to realize what’s happening, and she pats Ouluo hard on the back. She feels the heat radiating off his jacket due to his hard work and sighs intentionally.

“I really appreciate it though. It usually takes all four of us to lift a box that size…” She trails off, a huge planning smile on her face. “Think you could help us with the rest?” Petra extends a finger to a couple more of them, piled on top of each other. Bringing back her uniform jacket sleeves, she gets ready to bring up the next one.

“Okay, guys! Ready?” Before anyone else manages to step over in that direction, Levi has already lifted two of them, including the one Petra is holding on to. She lets go immediately, staring with wide amber dots. “That’s… at least three-hundred pounds…” Her voice is barely above a whisper, stunned.

He helped them with the rest, which wasn’t too bad. It seemed the tense atmosphere loosened up when he didn’t speak as much, simply nodding to whatever had been asked of him.

“You know, you’re pretty cool, even though a lot of people are um… scared.” Petra had dragged him near the carriage’s horses, limiting eye contact as she spoke. Maybe he was a little intimidating. …Or more than a little. “I guess people shouldn’t really believe rumors. A-Anyway… I just wanted to say thanks a lot. Even though some of us fear you, I also think they admire you. You’re so strong, you know?” She smiles before getting embarrassed by her words, “I’m going to see if Ouluo’s tongue is in check…” It wasn’t a second before she had run off back to him, and sure enough, even though the work was done, blood was seeping from the man’s mouth. How someone managed something like that every day blew his mind.

Taking one of the horse’s muzzles gently, he gives her a few small pets. She neighs satisfyingly, lightly pawing the ground a few times when he lets go. The sun was hardly out, hidden by clouds and naturally cold weather. It’s hard not to think about what could happen. The weather is usually unpredictable, amongst other very uncertain things. Seeing as everyone was done, they were quick to move out, and Levi managed on his horse diligently. Caressing her side, he takes off in his predicted spot.

In all aspects, the turning point is when the formation is unintentionally disbanded due to the sightings of titans. With even the highest hopes of not sighting any for hours, even the slightest movement could trigger some sort of unknown titan attack. After riding to the destination for around half an hour, he notices birds flock from trees within the forest.

Naturally, the pair had managed on his squad. The dead-weight silence is getting to them; he could tell by the look on their faces. Pasted with fear but steady, focused but sweating. Not too far off, as predicted, a black flare shoots in the clouded air. Their squad leader— Levi doesn't remember his name due to the half-hearted introduction— shoots the same flare and sends a messenger to the inner squads.

“Titans on top of this cold… Hmph. Everyone, be cautious.” The leader grunts.

Levi can only be reminded of that gross crimson substance. The large footsteps make their way in their direction; Levi is quick to move without an order. As a 10-meter flesh monster reaches out to their squad, quick and powerful legs bounce into the air with the assistance of gas. He rips its arm to shreds through precise spins, its nape shredded shortly after.

“Levi!” Petra’s terrified voice yells from a distance.

He’s somehow a decent distance behind where their team had ventured. A large— no, at least 15-meter titan rushes in his direction. The abnormal. He feels the rage surge through his hot blood, not caring his blades were dull. It was that constant reminder to him, fogging his senses.

He’s landed onto the ground from the previous titan due to his thoughts, blood slowly evaporating from his body. Fuck. Its height is definitely a leverage in this situation, trees or any kind of leverage is not close by. All he manages to do is take it personally and rears to go after it.

Before he can even turn around, several horses flood past him and towards the titan. Bodies shoot into the air, tearing apart limbs before it can have a chance to react. Blood pours once again, but this time it’s not his teammates. The sharp ringing of blades and landing footsteps has him walking over to witness what happened.

Body parts were scattered away from the main body as it evaporated into the air, leaving a series of steam.

He wasn’t sure of his actions or even what kind of headspace he was in. But an immediate sense of worry floods his bones as he eyed the front of the unit, where Erwin’s squad resided. Why… did he feel this way when he shouldn’t care..? Was that path of light going to be destroyed if something happened to Erwin? An unsettling feeling in his stomach has him facing back to his squad’s direction.

“What the hell are you doing? We had to rescue you,” The angry squad leader yells sternly as he approaches on his horse, and Levi is quick to turn heel and coldly glare at the man. “C-Calm down, soldier. Going off like that will get all of us killed. Don’t forget the others who are with you. Especially your leader.”

“A-Are there any more of them…”

Petra and Oluou stand together, hiding their embarrassment, due to the wetness… in their pants. Their voices are staggered, completely terrified from their sudden trained reactions. Icy eyes observe crimson evaporate from their faces and clothes, remembering how they just saved him with no thought. Levi sighs miserably, understanding why such a thing happened, but still, it was a pretty unsanitary thing to watch. Everyone manages their horses, and Levi ends up giving them some extra linen to help them out. It wasn’t unusual seeing it; a lot of things can happen when titans show up. He couldn’t blame them either; they just saved his life. Many other soldiers had done worse. Like shit. He was just grateful that there was none of that..

“Clean up quickly.” He manages before grabbing his horse, stroking her head to calm her, hurrying to run off before his squad. He leaves them behind despite the yelling, no more titans or flares in sight after they took down the two of them. The formation was dismantled anyway, and their destination was close.

A few lives had been lost through the sudden titan attack, but all nearby giants were taken out. The corps had secured an older area of housing, some tents set up next to some indoor spaces. The afternoon sun had finally started to beam down on everyone, making the cold a bit more bearable. Levi stands nestled on the back of a tree, resting after he’d just helped unpack many surveying tools and belongings.

“The fog might affect the image of the area, so make sure multiple soldiers are taking note of it. We must have these maps accurate.” Erwin commands several squad leaders; Levi watches with observing eyes when they salute and confirm the order. He notices a peculiar honey brown bob of hair bounce expectedly as they refute against their current duty.

“Hey, Erwiiiin. You know I don’t have much of a knack for drawing, huh? Moblit has a great and keen eye, too, so… I was wondering if you could possibly lend me a few buddies?” Hanji begs, clasped hands together with a maniacal yet sparkling gaze. Levi notices how the wind adds color to their faces, making Hanji look even more crazy than he’d ever try to imagine.

“I… What would their purpose be?” Already skeptical but willing to listen, the tall blond keeps a steady look on the wiggling excited mess in front of him.
“We need a sample! You know… a little test subject! Something live to work with… like a live titan maybe? I’ve got so many ideas on how, too!”

“No.” Before Hanji can even defend themselves, Erwin is walking away, not disinterested yet not intrigued at the moment. The concept was good, but it was too early in his career to even think about something as dangerous as that. As he keeps his pace, they don’t give up, tailing him to the tent where Levi can’t hear their conversation anymore. It tempted him to sneak over and listen, but his squad leader had gone over there as well. Most likely to complain about what Levi had just managed… Fantastic.

“He saved us, you know. Even though we had to act too, I’m sure the first titan would have eaten us before we could even think about fighting back.” Petra’s softly spoken voice emerges from nearby, survey board in hand. Diligently she maps out the area with two other men, one slightly taller than the other.

“If only he’d been with us. I’m sure at least one person would have been saved if so… two of our colleagues were practically executed before we could act.” Eld responds, scratching a little hard on the drawing pad in his hands. He sighs without realizing it, shoving his face into his scarf when the wind blows especially harder than before. Levi thinks of walking over there, maybe to lend a hand or just co-exist with the others, but that same squad leader is calling his name and practically dragging him into the tent.

“It was rash,” he begins, hesitant but willing to tell the commander as he observes the large map in front of him. For once, due to the conflicted look in his eye and lack of eye contact, it seemed Erwin had his own thinking to do. It made Levi annoyed— He was sure the man had better things to listen to himself. “As you saw in the report I made, attacking like that was too risky. We could have all easily been killed due to an act like that—“

“Did you die?” The question changes the atmosphere, simple but efficient. The tables were quickly flipped when silence fills the large tent, which should be bustling on a tight time schedule. Erwin manages to gaze without moving his head toward the leader, a colder look than before. “Due to his quick reflexes and the help of teammates, it seems like all was under control. I placed him in your squad because I knew you needed the assistance.”

Standing up for him again… Levi hadn’t had a proper punishment since Erwin’s command. It pissed him off; this special treatment only exists because of his position. It was hard, too, watching the higher ups around Levi walk on eggshells, careful of what they say due to his sharp temper. An icy gaze looks into his squad leader’s, and he knows exactly what he’s thinking.

Why should a rat from somewhere unheard of be a candidate for success in the Corps? An absolute nobody with a strange amount of skill who lacks any sort of leadership since the passing of his closest friends. A complete shut in. Someone who never has to come off as pretentious, or a kiss ass.

“A-Ah… Right.”

Those sky-blue focused eyes were meticulously back upon the parchment, and many had exited the tent to perform their own jobs that they had been preparing for. The only ones who lingered were Levi, Hanji and Miche.

“I’m sure you all have things to do. I will let you know if anything new occurs. Keep watch with the others as they survey the area.”

“Yes, sir.”

After the hearty salute, the two turn to leave, as Levi is the last to trail behind them. He’s frustrated for being in this situation, dark brows knitted with annoyance when a deep voice tells him to stay.

“Have you given it any thought?”

“You’re still going on about that, huh.”

Erwin places down his quill, meticulous fingers folding themselves together as his full attention is averted to the one in front of him. The discernment in his eye makes Levi uncomfortable, as it always has, but somehow he feels like he can open up some in this situation.

“I haven’t exactly given any details concerning this new position,” He continues, leaning back in his chair. “meaning, I can set the terms to whichever standards you need to have met.”

“Are you trying to cause a riot? You do realize this is something you’ll have to get permission for from those shit-eating nobles. Not to mention other scouts will look at me differently. They can barely trust me now— what makes you so sure that they will when I have a higher ranking than them?”

The blond averts his gaze back to the parchment in front of him. “I suppose that is something we’ll have to think about.”

“I told you.” Levi approaches the desk, simply standing in front of it. “…I don’t know if I can handle it.” The heart-wrenching truth pours from his gut. He wants to maintain that eye-contact, keep this conversation between the two of them— but it was hard when they both had their own jobs needing to be fulfilled at the moment.

Levi places a hand on the corner of the table. He observes the future plans being mapped and made for the Corps, and wonders what big storms the commander could possibly be brewing up right now. There are no big assignments yet, and Erwin writes proficiently against the parchment with potentially drastic ideas that come to mind.

“You seem intrigued,” He directs the conversation elsewhere, becoming avoidant. What Levi mentioned was personal, and Erwin thought it’d be suited for a topic they could discuss under more private circumstances. “Is there something you’d like to know?”

Levi’s eyebrow can’t help but twitch when he notices his piece of mind being ignored. As for the plans he is staring at— a new and more organized way of a battle formation— the shorter male simply shakes his head and eyes his leader while he walks out of the tent. If it was a game of being disciplined correctly, then Levi would play. Maybe then he’d be listened to.

After leaving the tent, Hanji had been waiting outside with Oluou, eyebrows wiggling as they readily bombard Levi with questions.

“A new position, huh? You gonna’ be like me and Miche now? How exciting!” They wrap an arm around Levi’s shoulders. His initial response was to shove their arm off— but he resists the urge and slowly shrugs it away.

“Tsk. So you were listening. Should have known you were just as interested in things as I am.”

“I honestly just wanted to know if the good ol’ commander is thinking of my plans seriously or not, but it seems like you’ve got him wrapped around your finger instead! So unfair, huh. Maybe it’s those dark eyes of yours~.”

If he had been drinking water, he would have spit it out. Even though Hanji is the one saying strange things, he gives a certain look to the pale-blond next to them, and he slowly scurries away to begin helping with the clean-up. He didn’t think his conversation was that long, but it looks like most of the scouts had finished mapping the local area.

“It’s like your main hobby is to be ridiculous,” Levi grunts, looking off to the side once he remembers that his requests aren’t exactly being kept a secret. “I’m not doing it.”

“But like… you have to.” Hanji drags Levi away from the tent and the others, finding a nearby tree to talk privately under.

“What? Is there something you want from me now, too?” Levi shares annoyance in his eyes; he can’t believe this spread to them as well. So much for private conversations… His trust begins to sway.

“He’s going to the capital soon. Going to have you officially down as a captain. You know, a reason to stir the morale in the inner walls and such.” Hanji stares widely, a serious look on her face.

“You can’t be serious,” Levi begins, becoming equivalently frustrated. “You’re telling me I don’t get a choice anyway? Am I more of an object than I thought I was?” He wants to be alone more than ever, as he stands in somewhat of a shock.

“We need you to. There’s nobody else with such talent as you, and word spreads quickly. Sure, their initial response to you wasn’t exactly great, but now they know the things you can do. How strong you are! C’mon, grumpy. It’ll be better than you think.”

The raven-haired male leaves the conversation abruptly, to be left alone. He helps the clean-up crew, back to lifting even heavier objects than before to satisfy the physical need of venting. In the underground, he’d simply find a thug to fight, but here it had to be different. Instead of lurking within the shadows— being a strong and independent person— Levi would have to forcefully open up and manage the others around him skillfully.

The sudden knowledge and stress weighs on his shoulders, and he grabs his horse’s reins tightly as he begins to head back towards the walls with his comrades. Placed subsequently back in his squad with a close eye on him from his squad leader, horse-drawn carts and a few dozen soldiers head back to their home, within their stinking walls of confinement.

Notes:

Hello!

This is like, one of my first fics, so I don't really know what I'm doing. Like the tag says I'm mainly writing for my own pleasures but! You're free to read! Also, this will be pretty slow burn, I want to try and drag things out for once.

I know it's kinda short right now. I'll hopefully get into the groove soon,,, :s

Thank ya for readin'.

-M