Chapter Text
Yuuri’s hand is throbbing and it takes all he is not to shout out in agony while the doctor cleans the burns. “What did you do, put your hand in the fire?” The doctor asks, smile toying at his lips. Victor is standing outside the wagon, pacing back and forth. Yuuri hopes that he won’t tell the doctor the truth about his injury…
“By accident,” Yuuri replies, fighting back tears at the pain, “God, it hurts so much…”
“It is infected. Not good.” The doctor says. He covers Yuuri’s burn in some sort of ointment and then carefully wraps it in a clean cloth. “Don’t take this off until I’ve seen you again tomorrow, alright? I’ll clean it and redress it then. See how it’s healing.”
“Thank you, Doctor.”
“Oh, and Yuuri…” He catches Yuuri’s good hand. “What exactly did you do to it? Burn it while cooking?”
“Good evening, Dr. Feltsman.”
“No need to be embarrassed,” He calls after Yuuri on his way out, “it happens to everyone! Just be careful next time!”
.
Victor won’t let him go back to his own wagon. He insists that Yuuri stays with the Giacometti’s indefinitely, but Yuuri just can’t… it’s embarrassing. Admitting he was wrong, admitting any truth is too difficult.
But it’s not like he can just say no… Victor is too insistent. If Yuuri didn’t know better, he’d say that the captain was being protective of him!
So he goes to Lara and no questions are asked. Chris sleeps under the wagon in his hammock without complaint, and Yuuri tries not to think about why he is here; what he will say should Lara or anyone else ask what happened to his hand. It does feel a little better now, at the very least. Better enough to sleep.
.
That morning, the seven unit leaders, along with Victor and Francisco gather to discuss the situation. Unfortunately, the vote was in Charles’ favor, five to four; the opposing members being Victor, Francisco, Mr. Baker from unit six (whose soon-to-be daughter-in-law was ruined by Charles, if you’ll recall), and the leader of unit three, Chris’ unit (Chris made sure to persuade him prior to the meeting). They all, however, agreed that until Yuuri’s hand healed it wouldn’t be too scandalous for him to stay with another family.
The results angered Victor to no end, and over the next week he specifically spends his time with the leaders of units two, four, five, seven, and eight, trying to persuade them to change their minds.
In the meantime, Charles is insufferable. Every day, he argues with Chris and demands that Yuuri comes back with him. “I can’t cook for my damn self” was his number one reason as to why he needed Yuuri. But Chris was firm. Yuuri wouldn’t come back until his hand healed completely.
Victor visits every day while Yuuri’s hand is healing. Sometimes he hardly says anything at all, but he almost always is next to Yuuri, and that alone is comforting. Yuuri knows he means well, but he’s incredibly naive if he thinks that he can get Charles removed from the train without Yuuri having to come with him.
Still, it’s nice to know someone cares…
One evening while Yuuri helps Lara prepare supper, she points out that very fact.
Yuuri shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t know whether I’d go with him or not.”
“Do you know what I think, Yuuri?”
“Hm?” He’s distracted by the cooking and doesn’t expect her answer.
“I think you and Charles aren’t really married.”
“What??” Yuuri almost drops the mixing spoon into the pot. He sets it down beside him and turns to her, waiting for an explanation.
“Perhaps I’m wrong, but… I think it makes sense. Your child was born out of wedlock. I’m not going to judge you about that, Yuuri. It doesn’t change my opinion of you in the slightest. But if it is the truth, that could work to our advantage, to keep you away from that wretched man permanently.”
Yuuri doesn’t answer at first, but Lara won’t let it drop. He has no choice. “No, we have been married for months.” He says softly. “And that is all I will say on the matter, other than the reminder that he would never willingly let me go if it meant I’d be happy.” He slowly and quietly returns to his task, Lara watching him with something between pity and bitterness in her gaze.
“I’ll kill him,” Lara mutters, but she says nothing more, knowing Yuuri doesn’t want to talk about it.
After supper, Yuuri sees Charles standing nearby and knows he must go. So he slips away unnoticed after supper and follows him back to their camp.
“Enjoy your pity party?” He mutters with contempt, his grip on Yuuri’s arm turning painful. “Well, it’s over now.”
“I never asked for their pity.” Yuuri says firmly. “They thought I deserved it, but I wouldn’t accept it.”
“Next time I should burn your feet so you won’t go around running your mouth about me. They’re trying to get me kicked off the train! Do you think I can afford to join a third party??”
“There won’t be a next time. If you ever try hurting me again, I will kill you, Charles. And I mean it.”
“You’re not gonna do shit other than cry to your little boyfriend, that bastard captain. He’s got a lot of nerve chasin’ after you when he thinks you’re married.”
“He’s just a friend, and he’s worried about me. Who wouldn’t be when I burned my hand like that?”
“Who cares...” He murmurs. “I’m hungry. Make yourself useful for a change and cook something. Or is that hand of yours too painful to do shit?”
“If you stubbed your toe you’d be moaning and groaning in the back of the wagon for a week, so don’t you even try it.” Yuuri shot back. Lord, had it not been for his friendship with the captain, he would’ve wished that his life could just go back to the way it was before this party, before the loss of his son, before...
He makes a quick supper and the two eat together in peace for a good while, until Yuuri notices one of the animals limping. “What happened to that one?”
“Dunno.”
“Will it be able to walk tomorrow?”
“Nah, I’m gonna shoot it later. Maybe we can sell the meat.”
“Shoot it? B-But…”
“Look, Yuuri, this isn’t the city. There are no animal doctors and no one can afford to tote around an injured animal. Leave it to me, alright? Damn…”
Yuuri stole a glance at the poor suffering animal and frowns. “If we lose that one, the load will be even harder on the others. You know that everyone’s suggested lightening the load…”
“They’ll be fine. Stop worrying about what everyone else thinks.”
“They’re right . We… we need to figure something out, Charlie. The captain says we’re going to be treading into more difficult land soon, and—”
“Enough about that guy! I don’t care what he says, I know what’s best for my own damn wagon and animals. And you know what’s gonna happen if you keep talking to him.”
***
The following day is a treacherous river crossing, and Yuuri, knowing well his own wagon won’t make it across safely, slips away to find the captain and beg to ride across in his own wagon with the cook. Victor, of course, accepts, and asks Yuuri to stay for breakfast, since he knows at this point that Yuuri does not eat nearly as much as he should. Yuuri accepts and the cook makes another plate for Yuuri.
“Where do you live during the cold months?” Yuuri asks after clearing his second plate. He hasn’t eaten since the day before yesterday, but Victor doesn’t know that.
“I have a house in Oregon. Josef kept building it up for me in hopes I’d stick around a full winter and meet and marry some nice person, but I hardly stay there. Most of the fall I spend with my brother, helping him however I can out in Wyoming. I think my house is dusty by now.”
“If you were to marry, would you stop your current career?”
“No, I can’t say that I would.”
“So, what would your wife do while you were gone?”
Victor laughs and shakes his head. “I wouldn’t marry a woman. And my spouse would just have to be very independent. They could either come along with me and spend their youth just like this, or stay at home and live their own life however they wish.”
“That doesn’t sound too bad…” Yuuri admits. “Why, if I weren’t—”
“Yuuri.” Right on cue, there’s Charles, seething with rage. “What did I tell you? What did I fucking tell you?!”
Yuuri startles, but stays put on the chair beside the captain. But Victor stands. “Is there a problem, Mr. Pierce?”
The veins in his neck are bulging and he looks seconds away from exploding. Yuuri hurriedly walks over to Charles, and, to everyone’s shock, is backhanded for everyone to see. Before Victor can say anything, they are gone, Yuuri being dragged through a gathering crowd back to his own wagon.
Victor knew it then, he had to get Charles removed from the train. To his luck, the leader of one of the units that previously supported Charles had been standing by to watch the argument. “Did you see that, Jeb?”
The man looks uncomfortable. “It ain’t exactly our business, ya know…”
“I have rules on this train, Jeb. Violence against another person is strictly forbidden, no exceptions. We’ll vote on it tonight, again. I hope this time you’ll stand by my side. This… soon enough, could be life or death for that poor young man!”
“Alright, Cap’n, you got me on that one. Lord knows if it were my kid bein’ treated like that, I couldn’t stand for it, no sir. It’s just that, ‘til now, I ain’t never seen what y’all been talkin’ about. Thought it was just an exaggeration. But maybe yer right. It’s a damn shame it had to be this way, though. He sure is handy to keep around.”
“We’ll just have to get by without him. Someone’s life is worth far more than a handyman sticking around wreaking havoc.”
“I suppose yer right on that, Cap’n. Yessir, I’ll vote ‘im off tonight. An’ I’ll go an’ talk to Mister Kennedy over in four, tell ‘im what I saw. That way y’all will know for sure he ain’t stayin’ on.”
.
“You’ve really gotten arrogant, you know that?” He pushes Yuuri into the back of the wagon and pulls the flaps closed behind them. Yuuri is lying on his back and looks up at Charles in fear. There aren’t any others around to help him if…
“I’m tired of warning you. I’m tired of the same damn disrespect. Learn your place!”
Yuuri’s tears sting his eyes, and his face burns, not because of being repeatedly struck or from the insults, but of shame. The shame of the captain having to see him get hit, of everyone seeing that… that’s the worst pain he’s feeling at the moment.
“Nothing to say?”
Yuuri turns his head. “The wagon will sink today unless you lighten the load.”
Charles laughs at him. “Think so? I hope it does, with you in it.”
.
It was late in the day when it came time for unit eight’s crossing of the river. Yes, at twenty feet deep and dozens of feet wide, it was no easy feat, but there hadn’t been a disaster yet today. It was probable that there would be one, and who else would cause one except for Charles Pierce himself?
Victor had said for weeks that their wagon was too heavy, and now that they were an animal short, it was only a matter of time before their situation went downhill.
Victor stayed close-by when it came time for Yuuri’s crossing, assuring himself that should anything go wrong, he’d be right there to help wherever needed. Yuuri’s safety was his priority.
Ropes were strung tight across the river to help guide the wagons across and thus far helped make crossing easier. Victor waited on the other side, helping to tug the rope. Yuuri is seated in the front, clutching onto the bench and looking a bit green as they are pulled into the water. The first half of the heist was successful, but halfway through, when the current was at its strongest, the wagon started to sway, tugging backwards and jerking sideways… Victor plunged into the water, shouting: “Yuuri, jump !”
Yuuri looks frightened at the sudden command, but quickly abandons the wagon jumping forward just in time to slip away from the wagon as it capsizes. Victor wades as deep as he can possibly stand and in seconds Yuuri is in front of him— he swims like a fish!— panting, but in good shape. “I-I t-told him!” Yuuri exclaims, coughing up a bit of water as he clings onto Victor. “He never listens!”
Victor says nothing, not until Yuuri is safely on the shore. Then, “Are you alright?” barely ghosts his lips before Yuuri hugs him tightly, shaking like a leaf. He whispers, barely audibly, “Don’t let him take me”. Victor hadn’t the time to ask what he means, for his shoulder is firmly clasped and he is yanked out of the way by a sopping wet, furious Charles.
“ If you’d just listened to Victor and lightened the load — don’t even give me that look! You want to lighten the load now? Come here, let’s lighten it!!!” Dragging Yuuri by the collar, he takes him to the shore, where several men were hauling the tipped wagon ashore and stacking their belongings. “We can start with this shit!” He grabbed a suitcase off the top of the pile and tossed it open. “This worthless shit takes up far too much room, I think!” The suitcase was thrown into the water, papers and letters fluttering away in the wind, some landing in the water, others going elsewhere. Yuuri appears stricken but says nothing. He is on his knees with his head down. He knows Charles’ pride has been hurt.
“I bet the captain holds you in such high regard. Would he if he knew the truth about you? If he knew what was in this here chest?” He smirks, giving the chest a shake. Something rattles inside, and Yuuri’s eyes widen.
“That’s quite enough of that, Mr. Pierce. Calm yourself down. Though the tipping may have been able to be prevented had you heeded our advice, it is a common occurance and no reason to throw a fit, since no one was hurt.” Francisco chimes in, looking slightly amused by the ordeal. “The heaviest of your belongings is, no doubt, the oak furniture.”
“Maybe you’re right.” Charles helps Yuuri to his feet and leads him into the water, chest under the crook of his arm. “This is oak, isn’t it?”
Yuuri cries out, lunging after the chest which was hurled into the water, about ten feet away, and it soon sank beneath the surface. “See if your precious Victor will want you now, you slut!”
Yuuri immediately wades into the water, though he is tugged by the current and too weak to go after it, and he goes deeper and deeper until Victor realizes he must be stopped. “Yuuri, it’s no use,” He says from a few feet away, holding onto the rope and reaching out his hand. “I’m sorry, I don’t think you’ll find it.”
“I have to! I have to…” Yuuri takes another deep breath and slips underwater, swimming to the bottom and coming up within fifteen seconds, panting and coughing.
“Yuuri… you’re exhausted. Please, let’s—”
“ My baby’s in there !” Yuuri hysterically cries out, capturing everyone’s attention.
Victor is floored with a million questions at once, but there’s no time to think about any of them, or to ask, or to try and understand. He pulls Yuuri to him and places Yuuri’s hand on the rope. “I will find it. But I’m not going to lose you too in the process. Go to the shore.” He says, and with that, disappears underwater.
Yuuri trusts him, and pulls himself back to the shore where he’s received by Lara, who’d heard the commotion and came to investigate. She wraps him in a towel to dry off and urges Yuuri to come to camp to warm up and get away from Charles — who was being interrogated by two unit leaders and Francisco.
.
“Let’s get you out of those wet clothes,” Lara says as she leads Yuuri to the back of her wagon. “There’s no way you’re fitting anything of Christophe’s while looking modestly, but at least until your clothes are dry… and I’m sure nobody’d mind.”
He nods, numbly accepting her help in undressing from the sopping wet, muddy clothes. She eyes his upper arms critically and the bruises there, frowns deeply, but says nothing.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen now, Lara. If- If he is removed, he won’t let me stay here.”
“No?”
“And I have nothing. I couldn’t ask anyone to take me in. I’d have to go with him.”
“Yes, if he was your husband, you’d have to leave with him.”
Yuuri pauses, Christophe’s large shirt still in his hands. “ If ?”
“You don’t have to lie to me, Yuuri, I already know. I wrote to your parents the day after you came to me, and they told me everything. I was just waiting to see when you’d admit it to me.”
“But- but how did you…?”
“Your godmother and I went to school together, my boy, and have been close friends for years. She has often written to me of her darling godson, and complained of the boy he toted around. I put two and two together.”
Yuuri looks down, too ashamed to comment.
“You don’t have to be ashamed, Yuuri. To anyone else, I might judge, but in your case, your lack of matrimony may well save your life. You don’t have to go with him. And if you worry about no one wanting to take you in, you couldn’t be more wrong. You know you always have a place with us. At least until you marry the captain.” She adds with a wink.
“Lara!”
.
During supper with the Giacommeti’s, the captain himself sloshes over in his sopping wet boots and places an oak chest beside Yuuri. He then looks to Chris and tells him it’s time for the vote, and the two men leave together.
“Do you think I can listen in on the vote?” Yuuri whispers to Lara. “I want to know what people think.”
“Oh, I’m sure you’ll be filled in later, if he indeed is removed. I think it’s best you stay here, for your own safety.”
Yuuri nods, though disappointed, and heeds her advice.
.
The captain returns with Christophe well over an hour later, merry and eyes shining bright, despite a very handsome bruise covering his cheek and a split lip.
Christophe has a few bruises himself!
“Good Lord! What happened to you two? Come sit by the fire. Yuuri, heat up those biscuits!” Lara scowls at her husband. “You aren’t a young man anymore, Mr. Giacometti.”
“No, I daresay I’m quite young. What a night!” He and Victor move to sit by the fire, where Yuuri places a cup of coffee in each of their hands. “Where do we begin, Captain?”
“The vote!”
“No, no, before the vote! When the bastard wouldn’t show up!”
“You tell it, then! I wasn’t there for that.”
“Right, right…” Christophe takes a lengthy sip of coffee, compliments Yuuri on its taste, and then says, “We waited a good twenty minutes for the man, but when he didn’t show, Francisco and I went to find him. He was minding his own business at his wagon, eating his dinner. ‘Sir, you do recall we’re holding a meeting concerning you?’ I asked. He smiled at us bitterly and said, ‘Yeah, let me know how it goes’. But Victor wanted him there, so we insisted, and he threw a fit, stomping over to the meeting like a bratty child. He planted himself in front of everyone and crossed his arms.”
“Then,” Victor takes over in telling the story, “I explained his offenses to everyone, and each time he refuted his offense, saying I was lying. But what happened today, we all saw with our own eyes, did we not? So we asked his defense on the subject. He said it was ‘none of our damn business’. We took a vote. This time, only two came to his defense and it was decided that he would be exiled at the next fort, and until then, he was to be kept under constant supervision and separated from the rest of the group. He asked about you, Yuuri, and whether or not you’d come with him. I hope you don’t mind, but I said I’d never let you near him again.”
“Which was pretty brave, I’ll admit,” Chris adds, “and that just set Charles off. He got up and charged at Victor and got a punch in before we held him back, but Victor said to let him come! That he could take him. So we let him go, and the stupid fool went right back up to the captain, and got decked right in the face!”
“And the bruises on you, Captain?” Yuuri asks shyly.
“He tripped me and I stumbled and hit my face on a nearby tree.”
“And Chris?”
“Oh, he started fighting the bastard for laughing and the two of them went at it. And then I jumped back in. Admittedly, I’ve got a lot of pent up rage at him, for what he’s done. And I think some of the other men just wanted in on the fun.”
At this, Yuuri stood, red faced, “The fun ? You could’ve killed him !”
“Would it have been such a bad thing?” Chris asks with a wink, and horrified, Yuuri flees the camp.
Lara shakes her head at the two of them, but speaks only to the captain. “If you want to win his heart,” she says, “then violence is not the way to go about it.”
.
Victor follows Yuuri at some distance. Unsurprisingly, he goes to his own wagon to see Charles’ condition. For a moment, all is civil between them and Victor doesn’t want to intervene quite yet…
“This is all your fault, you know. I never should’ve brought you along.” Charles whispers bitterly. “You make my life miserable.”
It wasn’t always this way, as Yuuri once had standards and self respect.
He and Charles met four years ago at an Easter Sunday service, at the church Yuuri’s then-new brother-in-law frequented with his family. The church was hot and stuffy, and Yuuri wished he didn’t have to wear such a thick material on such a warm day. He watched with envy as the boys his age swung across the small creek by the church and splashing cool water on themselves. Their thin, comfortable slacks and shirts had looked so very comfortable...
“Hey, are you waiting in line?”
Yuuri was easily ten feet from the “line” in question, but he couldn’t say no. He was tired of following the rules that prevented him from having any fun. Glancing at his family, who were gathered a distance away and not paying any attention, Yuuri answered the boy. “Y-yes…”
“Then come closer. How can anyone tell with you standing way back here?” The boy grabbed his hand and tugged him to the stream. When Yuuri got a better look at him, he recognized him as Charlie Pierce, son of the late Charles Edward Pierce. Charlie was the town troublemaker, but Mari often said that she believed it was the parenting style that caused his bad behavior. His mother had an affair with a Chinese immigrant after all, and then the boy was raised out of pity by the woman’s husband, who was abusive. It was there that the bad behavior began, so Charlie was sent to Dover to live with his uncle; a coworker of Mari’s husband. And he said that Uncle Pierce was incredibly abusive to the poor boy and destroyed what little good the boy might have had in his soul.
“Your turn.” Charlie announced, nudging Yuuri forward.
“Um, I- I don’t know how…”
“Any idiot can do it. Just hold onto the rope. Oh, honey, you’ve gotta take those gloves off. You won’t be able to grip.”
Yuuri nodded and removed his gloves, but as he had nowhere to put them, Charlie offered to hold them for him.
And so Yuuri gripped the rope properly and Charlie pushed him, a little hard, Yuuri would admit, but Yuuri wasn’t holding tight enough and soon slipped right off into the stream!
The Katsuki’s certainly heard the splash and hurried to the stream once they realized Yuuri wasn’t among them.
As Yuuri surfaced, he saw his family waiting for him, less than pleased, and Charlie laughing at him.
“Yuuri Katsuki.” Mari’s expression was cold, but there was a sparkle of amusement in her eyes. “Get out of that water! And you, you’d better stay away from my brother if you know what’s good for you Charles Pierce, or I’ll fetch your uncle.”
He stopped laughing.
.
The next afternoon during one of Yuuri’s lessons, the family servant announced that Charles Pierce was calling to apologize for his actions and return Yuuri’s gloves.
Yuuri’s sister was about to say no for him when he ran from the study to the front hall. Charlie stood waiting, Yuuri’s gloves in hand. His face was bruised. “I forgot to give these back and I don’t really have much use for them.”
“Thank you.” He smiles faintly, but it’s hard to smile at all when he thinks about Charles… “Did… did your uncle…?”
“Yeah. Well, I’d better be on my way. See ya around.”
“Wait. I’m going to Kitts Hummock this afternoon with my sister. The weather’s fine and we planned on having a picnic. Would you come with us?”
“I don’t think your sister’d let me.”
“Well… come anyway, separately, and we’ll pretend it was an accident.”
.
Yuuri’s family never approved of the young troublemaker, two years Yuuri’s senior. But Yuuri was charmed and wouldn’t listen to their orders to stay away. Needless to say, the relationship progressed over the next year, but by Yuuri’s eighteenth birthday, any feelings he might have had for the boy began turning into twinges of hate. It was no matter, though, Yuuri was going to university. He enjoyed his time at Delaware College and studied hard with intentions of finally making his family proud.
But as time went on, Yuuri met plenty of other people and nearly forgot all about Charlie. He dated a perfectly pleasant young man named Theodore Beaumont, who was studying to become a lawyer. He was the president of a fraternity and knew how to show anyone a good time. But most importantly, he was gentle. He would never even think of hurting anyone, especially not Yuuri.
He never talked of marriage, but it didn’t seem entirely out of the question, either. He taught Yuuri to live for the moment and not to worry about anything else, past or future.
They’d been dating well over a year when Charles came back around. Furious at Yuuri’s infidelity, he told Mr. Beaumont not to dare come around Yuuri again if he wanted to live. Then, he essentially kidnapped Yuuri from his dorm and took him to a small inn near the campus. He kept Yuuri there for four days to “catch up” as he put it. At the end of that period, he said Yuuri was too boring and took him back to campus, promising Yuuri he’d never speak to him again.
About six weeks later, Yuuri discovered he was pregnant, and Theodore Beaumont was the first to know, though he insisted he wasn’t the father. He didn’t blame Yuuri for Charles’ actions, but told him they couldn’t be together anymore. When the fall semester ended, Yuuri withdrew from the college and went home.
.
“Then let me go and I’ll never think of you again, and you’ll do the same for me. We have nothing to offer each other, we only make each other miserable and it’s time to stop this while we still can.”
“If I do, will you marry the captain?”
“That’s none of your business.”
He scoffs. “I take that as a yes, then. So then, I can’t let you go.”
“Oh, please don’t be so stubborn. We’re… we’re not compatible with each other. I’m not sure we ever were. I think we were drawn to each other because we were both outcasts in our own respect… but I loved you, and you never could love me. You’re not the marrying type, Charles, and I am … I- I want a family , I want to be respected, to be seen as an equal, to be loved just as much in return, and… and I know in my heart these are things you could never give me, and I could never give you what you want of me.”
But I can , Victor thinks, realizing what a selfish thought that is at a moment like this, but he doesn’t care.
“You think he will? Yuuri, he’s a young captain, at the start of his damn career. He won’t give all that up for you.” Charles poured a canteen of water over the fire and stomped the rest out with his boot. “I could kill him, for what he did to me.”
“You have been terrible, Charles, and you know that. If you’d just behaved…”
“I could say the same to you, you know!”
“You’re ridiculous.” Yuuri scolds him, almost bitterly. “You’re a ridiculous, jealous man, and I can’t stand to be seen with you any longer.” He tries to walk away, but his wrist is grabbed.
“If you won’t come with me, you’ll stay with me until I leave. You won’t leave my side.”
“But I—”
“It’s your choice.”
“You know I can’t stay here!” Yuuri exclaims, and it sounds as if he’s struggling against Charles’ grip. “Especially after what you did today, to the baby…”
“Oh please,” he scoffs, “there’s nothing of importance in there.”
“Don’t talk so coldly of your own child!”
“I’m not.”
“I… I don’t understand.”
“You think I was gonna let you tote around his ashes? No, that’s wrong. The dead need to be put to rest. I put him in the Pierce graveyard, in Dover.”
“Then… then what’s in the—”
“Like I said, nothing of importance. Perhaps it’s the ashes from a couple of cigars, who knows?”
Yuuri laughs bitterly, lifting his hands to cover his eyes when the laughter turns to sobs, and sobs to wails. Victor steps out of his hiding spot and makes himself known. Yuuri turns to him and blabbers incoherently about how sorry he is that Victor rescued the chest “all for nothing”.
“What do you mean?” He has to ask, despite already knowing. He places a hand on Yuuri’s shoulder and Yuuri melts into him, explaining what Victor already heard.
Victor glares at Charles, who is expressionless. “Why would you do something like that, to your own kid?”
“I did it for that kid’s own good! He deserved a resting place.”
“It wasn’t your choice to make.” Victor responds.
“It was just as much my kid as his. And it’s not like I’m the reason it’s dead. It’s Yuuri’s own fucked up body’s fault.”
Yuuri looks up at Victor, likely to see if he felt the same way.
“Look, I don’t know the whole story, or even half of it. But blaming Yuuri, and then tricking him, that’s pure evil! That’s his own child, his own blood, and if he wanted to keep their ashes until he arrived in Oregon, that’s his business.”
“Thanks for the lecture, but I literally don’t give a fuck.”
“You should,” Victor admonished him, and then led Yuuri away from his camp. Yuuri struggles against him at first, but eventually he goes weak in the knees and needs help standing. Victor doesn’t ask. He comforts Yuuri, unconditionally, and assures him that he doesn’t need to know any details of the situation. “That’s between you and your husband, and I’m not judging you…”
“Husband,” Yuuri repeats sullenly. “He’s not my husband, and I’m sorry I ever went along with his scheme.”
“What do you mean, he’s not your husband? Are you unmarried?”
“That’s right.” Yuuri sighs. “But we did have a son together. That much is true.”
“I see…”
“If you don’t want to be my friend anymore, I understand. What I did, having a child out of wedlock, I know it was wrong and I don’t expect you to forgive that.”
“No, no, of course I want to be your friend! And being that you’re unmarried…” Seeing the eager look on Yuuri’s face, Victor drops the subject. “What I mean is, it will be… easier for you to separate from him when we get to the fort.”
“Oh… yes, it will be in that aspect. But not in any other way. He’s not going to make it easy.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll help in every way I can. You can trust me.”
Yuuri swallows hard, moving out of Victor’s hold. “I don’t deserve your trust. You… you’re too good for someone like me. Goodnight, Captain.”
.
Fortunately, they arrive at Fort Laramie two days later. Charles is dismissed, and Philomena Baker looks particularly distressed. The night before, Yuuri overheard the two of them exchanging farewells. “Will you come to California and visit me sometimes? Oh, promise you will, or I would die!”
“Yeah, I’ll be there before you know it. I just have to write home for some money, and then I’m back on my way, so don’t you worry your pretty little head.”
They embrace as if they cannot live without each other, and Yuuri rolls his eyes. After Philomena slipped away, Yuuri came forward.
“I hope you’re here to apologize.”
“No, not at all. Just to give you this.” Yuuri flings a bracelet at his feet and backs away. “I wish you luck.”
“Mm.”
“I’m going to move on, and I know you will, too. We… we should never have met. I sincerely wish we hadn’t.”
“So do I.”
A moment of silence passes between them. Charles rolls his eyes. “Go on now, I’m sure your precious Victor is searching for you. Go to him, see what I care. He has nothing good to offer you; no money, no family, no security.”
“Maybe he hasn’t got any money or family of importance, but he will give me security, and that’s worth more to me than the other two. That is… he’ll give it to me, if we- if we ever…”
“Oh, don’t play dumb, Yuuri, I know. I know that by next week you’ll be married and by the time you get to Oregon you’ll hope to be heavily pregnant. I can only hope neither happen and that you’re miserable for the rest of your life, as a whore like yourself deserves for what you did to me, and to my son.”
“You’re a wicked man, Charles Pierce.”
“Yeah, and? You like wicked men.”
“Well… well not anymore. It’s safe to say I’ve learned my lesson.”
***
After a few days, Yuuri was visibly less tense once he started to understand that Charles wasn’t going to try and come back, that he was truly out of his life for good (well… at least for now). He still carried a heavy load on his heart, that his son wasn’t with him at all, but if what Charles said was true, he was buried among his own family at least somewhat respectfully, which was a little comforting.
In brighter news, Chris and Lara’s wagon was moved up to unit one, meaning Yuuri could spend every day with the captain if he wanted to. And even if he didn’t , the captain still walked with him every day, still joined him at dinners, still took Yuuri on his shooting lessons every few days and was very, very attentive. Lara said that this is how courting went on the Oregon Trail, but Yuuri insisted to her that he was just being friendly. After all, how could someone like Victor be romantically interested in someone like Yuuri? Someone who Victor knew had a shameful history and nothing to offer? It made no sense! Still, Lara did not agree.
.
June 20th, 1855
Victor stayed for dinner again, the third night this week. Though I don’t tire of his visits, I tire of the girls’ teasing! They insist he’s in love with me, but I just don’t see it. Firstly, I’m not worthy of love, and secondly, I haven’t done anything to appear interested, so how could he possibly fall in love with someone as mean and stoic as me? It’s ridiculous, isn’t it? — I must go, Victor is trying to peer over my shoulder at this page!
“You break your own rules,” Yuuri teases, shutting his journal when Victor creeps closer to get a better look.
“Not really, being that I can’t read a word of it other than my own name. What did you write about me?”
“That you were having dinner with us, that’s all.” His cheeks colored, but since it was night, he hoped Victor didn’t notice.
“It seemed like more than just that.”
“Maybe it wasn’t about you, Captain.” Yuuri smiles, and upon the reminder that the man can’t read, he continues to write.
I do like him quite a bit though, more than I’d ever be willing to admit, but I’m not sure I love him. You see, I thought I loved Charles once, when we were children, but now I cannot even fathom the possibility. Lord, I’ve made far too many mistakes with that man. I should never have let him into my dorm last fall! Anyway— love is complicated. If I thought I loved someone as monstrous as Charles— lord, I cannot stand to write his name anymore. We’ll just refer to him as Him, and that’s it. As I was saying, if I thought I loved Him, then how could I ever know what true love even feels like? If anything, around Victor I just feel like a mad fool with how my heart pounds and the way I stammer and my thoughts falter…
“There’s my name again…” Victor chimes in, shamelessly resuming his snooping. “Come on, read it to me, I’m curious to know what you think of me.”
“I think you’re a snoop.” Yuuri chides. “It’s nothing important, I promise you. I always write about my acquaintances.”
“We’re just acquaintances? How disappointing. I hoped we were more than that.”
“Fine, my friends. And as I was saying—”
“Just friends?”
“We certainly aren’t best friends, Captain.”
“Well, your journal says ‘I do like him’; that much I can understand.”
“You- you—!”
“Relax, Yuuri. I like you, too.” He said this with no hesitation, no joking look about him… he was serious. He leans in closer to add, “So much that I hope you never, after tonight, think of me as just a friend. I want to be so much more, if you’ll have me.”
“Victor, I—”
“Think on it. Think on it for years if you want, I’m willing to wait.” He stands, and just before he walks away, Yuuri catches his hand. “Will you— um… walk with me before we leave tomorrow?” What a stupid question, Yuuri thinks to himself but he couldn’t think of anything else to say!
“Of course, Yuuri. I’d love to.” He raises Yuuri’s hand to his lips and kisses his knuckles softly. “Goodnight.” After Victor turns to leave, Yuuri lets a smile peek through before he can catch himself as he watches Victor walk away.
Lord, I think I’m going to faint!