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Cry of an Angry Heart

Summary:

Youichi confesses a little of darkness lurking within his own heart, to have his companions reveal some of his.

Notes:

This must be in the quiet time when Ferid Bathory returned his estate in Osaka and Shinoa squad are still there, searching for answers. I don’t own Seraph of the End, but for the past few months, it has owned me.

Work Text:

Saotome Youichi stood at the window of Ferid Bathory’s estate, looking down at the darkness of the grounds. All he could see were shadows.

*If you look in the darkness, you’ll see visions of Lacus screaming.* Gekkouin made the words a low, seductive promise. *Whatever you wish. Whatever hell you’d like to inflict upon him.*

Youichi bit his lower lip, tasting salt and tears, closing his eyes upon whatever visions awaited him.

“You’re bleeding.”

Hyakuya Mikaela stood behind him, hugging himself, ruby eyes fixed upon his lips.

Youchi felt himself blush. Yu’s beloved was every bit as beautiful as Yu himself was. “I’m sorry. It, um, bothers you doesn’t it? The sight and smell of blood.”

“Bothers isn’t quite how I’d put it.” Mikaela took a step towards him and stopped himself. He looked away. “Something is bothering you.”

“I didn’t think you’d notice.” Youichi studied the shadowed profile of the young vampire. “What with your feelings, um, fading. I didn’t think you felt much empathy.”

“Empathy, well, not exactly.” Mikaela looked up to meet Youichi’s eyes. “You were wearing an expression that mirrored something I carried inside my heart for years, every time I looked at Ferid Bathory.”

“You wanted to kill him.” Youichi looked down at his hands. “To take something precious away from him to pay him back for what he did to you.”

“One swipe with my sword and maybe, just maybe I’d be rid of him. Rid of all the pain which I carried with me.” Mikaela frowned. “Only the pain faded bit by bit on its own.”

“Because you’re a vampire, maybe.” Youichi lifted his head to meet those ruby orbs once more.

“Maybe.” Mikaela shook his head. “Or maybe because of something else. Something not unique to any particular race.”

“You don’t understand.” Youichi bit his lower lip. “It’s not enough to kill the vampire who killed my sister. I want…I want…”

“To make him suffer.” Mikaela Hyakuya gazed at him with no horror or disgust, only something very close to his compassion in his ruby eyes. “To make him feel something, just a fraction of the pain he put you through.”

“I…I…” Youichi shuddered, unable to do anything but sob.

Mikaela’s face remained as blank and empty as a doll’s, but he gathered the young human in his arms, holding him with a tenderness Youichi hadn’t thought possible. Not after he’d admitted his human feelings were fading.

No matter what else he might be, Mika-kun had once been human and he remained Yu-kun’s emotional anchor. His arms were as warm as any human’s.

Probably because he was filled with Yu-kun’s blood.

Youichi became aware of Yu standing close to both of them. Another pair of warm encircled Mika-kun as Yu hugged both of them.

“It’s not just wanting to kill the fangs.” Yu spoke in a soft, yet ragged voice. “It’s having the pain of what happened revisit you, torturing you every night in your dreams, until it feels like it’s part of you.”

Youichi raised his head to look into Yu’s angry, tear-stained face, but Yu wasn’t looking at him or Mika. “I’m not sure if you get it.”

“Well, my own brother once threatened me with violation when I was only seven years old, just to test Guren-san’s heart. He said he didn’t mean it.” Shinoa kept her voice matter of a fact, casual. “To this day, I’m not sure if he did. All the while my beloved older sister told him he could do what he liked with me.”

Youichi turned to see Shinoa, smiling, only it was a much more wistful expression than her usual smirk.

“To be honest, I envy you, Youichi, for having someone who cared enough to die for you while you hid under the bed.” She turned her attention to the young vampire and his willing victim. “I envy you, too, Yu, Mikaela. No matter what tragedy awaited you, you loved each other enough to be haunted by the loss, to live for each other’s memory, risking everything to be reunited.” She glanced over at the tall, silent youth gazing at her from behind his glasses. “You, Kimizuki-san, who put your entire life on hold to care for your sister.” She let out a sharp, bitter laugh. “You have no idea how much I envy those bonds.”

“I do.”

Mitsuba stepped from behind Kimizuki, her baby face distorted with a grief she couldn’t control or hide. “I have a sister who refuses to talk to me because I’m a waste of time. Conversation, even with a member of her own family, is meaningless.” Mitsu knitted her eyebrows together. “I often wondered why our parents named her Aoi when she’s so incapable of it.” She let out a bitter snort. “Yeah, I used to get the words ‘ai’ and ‘aoi’ mixed up, thinking Aoi was named after love. Pretty funny.”

Shinoa didn’t say anything. She just reached out a hand.

Mitsuba took it firmly in her own.

“Families, ah, they can mess us up.” Ferid strolled into the room, gazing at the two girls. “Those of us with distorted bonds often envy those with happy ones.” He turned a sly eye towards Mika and Yu. “Even try to break them out of malice.”

“Is that why you killed our family? Is that why you separated Mika and I?” Yu lifted his head to glare at him. “You envied us?”

“Who knows? Perhaps in part.” Ferid returned his attention to Shinoa. “Whatever you may think of me, my father is far worse. Even worse than the little princess’s relatives. Yet bad relations alone do not make a malevolent heart.” He allowed his playful ruby gaze to shift to Youichi. “Sometimes it beats in the most seemingly gentle of breasts.”

The vampire lord strode away, humming a little tune under his breath, a western tune. Youichi realized it was one his sister had enjoyed, a very old song called Greensleeves.

“Don’t listen to him,” Yu murmured against his cheek. “It’s perfectly natural to hate the vampire who killed your family. To be unable to forgive him.”

“You did it.” Youichi shook his head. “You even let him drink your blood.”

“Only because he was holding my family hostage.” Yu shook his head. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Youichi.” He looked over his head at the two girls. “Nor you, Shinoa, Mitsu. No matter what you had to deal with, you have us now.”

“I know.” Shinoa smiled at him, but there was still sorrow in her eyes.

She didn’t let go of Mitsu’s hand, nor did Mitsu show any sign of releasing her.

Having a new family didn’t heal the old wounds left by the loss of the old one. It did help, though. It helped.

Youichi shut his eyes and allowed himself to relax for a moment in Yu and Mika’s arms, ignoring the sound of his demon’s low, sinister chuckle, echoing in his heart.