Chapter Text
“I play Lup next round.” Taako declared from his much-too comfortable spot on the couch, nestled between an oversized throw pillow and Kravitz. He tossed a bit of caramel popcorn high in the air and skillfully caught it in his mouth.
The intense game of poker started as soon as the crepes were devoured, but before anyone could touch the shortbread. Lup had been in a competitive mood, eager to beat someone at anything. The second Davenport presented an old yet familiar deck of cards, she challenged Barry directly.
Unfortunately for Barry, Lup always had luck on her side when it came to games. Not that he would give up so easily-- Taako didn’t get to hear what the terms of the game were, but based on how badly Barry wanted to win, he was certain that he probably did not want to know.
“Taako, you’re supposed to call dibs against the winner,” Barry explained, and shot a challenging glance at his wife, “so that would be me.”
Lup suppressed a haughty scoff, shaking her head and sighing softly, “Oh, Barry, Barry, Barry...”
Taako giggled, plucking another bit of popcorn out of his bowl. He shifted his attention to across the room where a boy and a dog sat idly by the fire.
“Yo Ango, look alive!” he threw the it across the room, and Angus scrambled to be at the ready.
“I’ll get it--!” he shouted, nearly toppling over Johann. He dropped to his knees to get the angle right. Angus’s efforts were rewarded, he managed to snag it in his mouth just in time. He threw his hands up in victory, “I got it!”
“Impressive, Angus! Your reflexes are getting sharper.” Lucretia praised, smiling from her seat at the dining table. Davenport sat across from her, closely examining his strudel.
“Something off about your snack?” she asked, knowing that the food was not the problem. She recognized all too well the way Davenport’s face grew serious and focused when he was trying to piece together a solution to something.
“Do you think...?” Davenport mumbled and trailed off, “No, no never mind...”
Lucretia raised a brow, “What? Do I think what?”
He hesitated. Davenport traced a finger over the buttery ridges, picking at the layers, “There are—in theory-- infinite planes.... right?”
“Correct?”
“I mean, we found planes that were themed before... machines, animals, beaches...” he ripped apart the pastry, lost in thought.
“Yes. Your point?” Lucretia went at her pudding again, not following her friend.
Davenport leaned in, his face stoic and his voice low, “There has to be a real candy land. There just has to be.”
Lucretia paused, and Davenport continued, the flood gates now open.
“But would the sweets be sentient? What’s their temperament like? What if they’re hospitable! I couldn’t eat a cake that was nice to me. But how would we survive if we couldn’t eat them? What if there were no other resources and we had no choice? What if we couldn’t resist how good they smell? Would we be considered like... vampires in their world? Drinking up their frosting, being the monsters they would fear...”
Lucretia sighed. She reached for her wine.
“H-hey! Taako, no cheating!” Barry’s panicked voice overshadowed Davenport’s rambling. Lucretia saw he had glanced over his shoulder, and by chance had noticed Taako giving Lup strange hand signals and mouthing incoherent things.
Of course, Taako wasn’t actually helping Lup cheat. He very badly wanted to see how this would play out naturally. But giving Barry a healthy dose of humility, thinking the game was getting thrown out of his favor, had been exactly the reaction Taako was going for.
Lup laughed at her husband’s fluster, “It was nothing, babe, Taako was just telling me about his day.” she made more gestures with her fingers that made no sense to anyone, “Twin language.”
“Yeah, sure, I believe that,” Barry eyed her suspiciously, and whispered “I can still turn this around.”
“Read the room, Barry Blue...” Lup hissed through a devilish smile, “The only thing that’s going to turn around here is you when I bend you ov--”
“Hey, I wanna smack-talk someone! I wanna win something!” Magnus interjected from the kitchen, a cookie in each hand. He was itching to join in the spirit of competition. Taako was very grateful.
“A game of poker, then?” Merle offered. He dangled his short legs thoughtlessly off the tall barstool, enjoying a scone and a brew that Davenport had brought for him.
“I have no idea how to play that!” Magnus declared confidently.
“Then...a drinking contest?” Merle raised his tankard, “I used to be known on the beach for my high tolerance. Won a loooot of games in my day.”
Taako snorted, remembering from a certain Cycle just how tolerant Merle was of his drink.
"Yes! Absolutely! Fantastic idea, Merle!" Magnus slammed his hand down enthusiastically and grabbed another cookie for the road. He rose up from the kitchen island and marched over to the living room.
"TAAKOOO!" he sang with bravado, "Come on, we're having a contest of wills!"
"A contest of alcohols!" Merle cried out.
"That's okay, Taako's buzzed out here!" he dismissed, raising his wineglass, buried in his pillow and his boyfriend.
"There must be someone willing to combat our strength!" Magnus looks down to the coffee table where an unsuspecting Lup and Barry sat on the rug. Lup had an admirable pile of chips on her side, some stacked playfully on her fishnet-clad knee. Poor Barry looked ready to cut his losses. Lup noticed Magnus eyeing her pleadingly.
"You're gonna have to find yourself another girl, Mags. See, if I win this-- which I will.” A sultry glance over her cards gave Barry the chills, “I win Barry Bluejeans' blue jeans."
"Lup, I- I told ya-- I'm, I'm not givin' you my pants..." he said warily, but the blush on his face betrayed that he already knew his fate was sealed. Despite his best efforts, things were going downhill fast.
"You already gave her your pants loooong ago, B!" Merle exclaimed with a laugh.
"Gross." Taako dismissed the lewd comment with another sip.
"So we really got no takers?? Y’all are a bunch of sissies!" Merle scoffed.
"Well, why don't you two start it off." Lucretia smiled knowingly, leaning over to Lup and whispering "Bet they both pass out within ten minutes."
Lup stared at her cards with unnecessary concentration, waiting for Barry to make his final move, "Make it five."
Barry audibly gulped when Lup’s face broke suddenly into a dastardly grin.
“Oh, babe. Can’t even say I’m sorry.” Lup rose up from her cushion and threw down her cards, “Read ‘em. And. Weep.“
Barry sucked in a sharp breath. “That’s- oh boy. Now Lup, I--- I –“ he wasn’t even granted a chance to protest before Lup reached down and grabbed the collar of his jacket, forcing him up and to her, “What--”
“Dibs on the guest room!” Lup announced, dragging Barry down the hall.
“Wha- No! You live here! Lulu!” Taako groaned, hiding his face by nuzzling into Kravitz’s shoulder, “We have to burn it down. The whole house.”
“Shame. It was a nice place, I’m going to miss it.” Kravitz brushed a lock of hair back behind Taako’s pointed ear, pink from drinking.
“Relax!” Lup yelled from across the house, “We’re just changing outfits is all!”
“That’s what she’s calling it…” Taako swung his legs off of Kravitz’s. He gave him a quick peck on the lips and took their plates to the sink. Magnus and Merle had just set up flights of various liquids in rows of four glasses and were eager to outdo each other. Taako sauntered over to the kitchen island, setting up four glasses of his own.
“I change my mind—I need to be 50 shades of not-sober if I’m gonna get through the trauma of my sister and her beau making an unholy mess of my guest room.”
Magnus cheered and reached for a bottle of something from their stash, “Yes! Tres horny boys reunite!!”
“Not gonna be much of a reunion after I take you two to fools’ school.” Taako boasted.
“Them’s fightin’ words!” Merle rolled up his sleeves, “Kiddo, do you know who I am??”
“Santa Cl—”
“That’s right, Merle Hightower fuckin’ Highchurch!”
Magnus presented a bottle of rum, but Taako declined it.
“I’m feeling more for something clear, big guy.” he inspected his nails, not acting suspicious whatsoever.
Magnus returned to the pile of bottles and picked out a vodka, holding it before Taako and awaiting approval.
“Marvelous.” he grinned.
Kravitz looked wearily over to the three boys. He wasn’t about to tell Taako he was a lightweight to his face, but he had quite a few stories in his arsenal that may support the fact that Taako was absolutely a lightweight. He rose from the couch and walked over to the counter, kindly waving off Merle’s offer to join in, and looping an arm around Taako’s waist.
“Are you sure? Your reputation might be at stake.” Kravitz mouthed near Taako’s ear. Magnus poured generously, not paying any attention.
“Just watch.” Taako reassured him with a wink. He pointed down to the glasses, “You two ready to be absolutely obliterated?”
“Born ready!!” Magnus hollered, not even registering the threat.
“Let’s get on with it, then!” Merle slammed a fist to the counter.
Taako, along with the other two, held up their first drink in a toast.
“On three. One…” Taako hid a hand below the counter, drawing forth some of his magical energy.
“Two…” It was a simple task to discretely transmute liquor into water.
“THREE!” Magnus took over the count and within a fraction of a second downed drinks one and two. Without even a second for recovery, he moved ungracefully onto drinks three and four. Merle was close behind, but ultimately failed to keep up with Magnus’ determination to win. Taako downed his as quickly as Magnus had, the two ultimately tying.
“Damn, you’ve gotten better at this!” Magnus flinched, feeling the burn, “Sorry Merle, you’ve lost!”
“Rats!”
Another discrete wave of his hand, another simple transmutation spell cast. Taako gave a knowing glance to Kravitz, who was beginning to lose his composure.
Magnus continued, grabbing a new bottle of something off the counter, “Taako, one more, and then we see who really win—"
Taako snatched the bottle from his hand, twisted and flicked off the cap sending it flying across the room, and fuckin’ chugged. He downed it all in heaping gulps, with Merle and Magnus watching wide-eyed and frightful. Taako loved putting on a show. With his last sip, Taako set the bottle back into Magnus’ hand, which never moved from its original position.
“Boom.”
Kravitz had to excuse himself to keep himself from bursting out laughing entirely. He kept busy by packaging up some leftovers and avoiding eye contact with anybody, lest he give away his boyfriend’s secret.
Merle stared aghast, “Son of a—"
“TAAKO! That was AMAZING!!” Magnus threw both fists into the air in celebration of Taako’s victory, taking a steadying step backwards.
“Woah, careful there, big guy!” Lup arrived from the hall behind the counter, putting a hand to Magnus’ back when he nearly tumbled into her, “Nobody here wants to carry your ass to bed!” She was wearing something that she certainly wasn’t five minutes ago.
Taako laughed into both his hands, leaning over the counter for support, “Lup, darling, what in the gods’ names did you do…”
“What? You don’t dig my new style?” she twirled, giving everybody a 360 view. She adorned a plain white tee shirt, made cute by tying it up to a crop. The sleeves were folded up stylishly. She had a familiar red jacket, too big for her, shrugged down to expose shoulders. Oh, and of course, she was rocking some very familiar jeans, the legs rolled up to show off some flashy printed socks, the waist hanging lazily at her hips, kept up precariously with a black belt that definitely wasn’t hers or Barry’s, and most certainly belonged to Kravitz.
Oh good, she went through their room while she was at it. Taako also noticed his bangles around her wrists-- that thief.
“It’s a great style!!” Magnus shouted, bringing her into a big hug, “I’m so happy we’re friends!”
“Ditto, Mags. Yep, crushing my ribcage.” Lup gave a look to Taako that spoke ‘Save me from this drunk bear of a man, please’.
Before Taako could come up with a clever idea to distract Magnus, his attention shifted to the sound of soft click-click-click-clicks getting louder as Barry approached kitchen. He was wearing the guest room bathrobe (which once belonged to the Pocket Spa), white and plain, monogramed with an elegant ”T”. A look to his legs revealed some fishnet tights that Lup had been wearing just moments ago. Along with the maroon matte heels. And probably the tight-fitted velvet dress, but that could stay between him and the robe that covered him.
“Oh, Barold…” Taako laid over the counter and buried his face in his arms. Of course, he absolutely supported the idea of Barry branching out in his fashion and getting new flavor into his wardrobe-- but that fit was not his style. He wanted to take him shopping, right then and there, to find something that suited him more than his sister’s clothes.
“They’re uh… surprisingly comfortable.” Barry shifted his weight from one leg to the other, feeling himself in these new shoes.
“Give it an hour.” Taako made a mental note to steal those shoes from Lup later. And maybe find Barry a dress that would actually complement his complexion.
“Wow, those tights!” Magnus envied the look. He laughed, reveling in the idea of everybody switching outfits right now.
“I love this, I’ve already tried Taako’s for a Pumpkindaze costume,” Magnus crossed the room and held out his hands expectantly, “Kravitz, I need the set! Hand over the threads, please!”
“Oh, wow…” Kravitz held a box of macaroons like a shield, “I’m flattered, really, but—”
“Hold on there, bud!” Taako moved to stand between his man and his friend, “The only one taking Krav’s clothes off is ‘cha boy Taako, dig?” he poked a warning finger into Magnus’ chest, but his words fell on deaf ears.
“That shirt’s so your color, Magnus!” Lup shouted, a fantasy camera in hand. Taako shot his sister a death glare and motioned for Barry to stop his wife. Barry shook his head apologetically and clicked his heel.
Somehow, Magnus was trying to simultaneously take off his own shirt while also reaching over the elf to pull at the shoulder of Kravitz’s shirt.
“This is platonic!” Magnus shouted through fabric, his free arm becoming stuck in the sleeve. Lucretia had told Angus to cover his eyes, urging him to not look by any means necessary.
There was no chance Taako could outmatch Magnus in a strength contest, so he had to improvise.
He turned to Kravitz, who looked at him quizzically, giving him no warning before jumping up and throwing his arms around his neck and locking his legs around his torso in a final effort save this shirt from Magnus’s grasp.
The reaper had precious few seconds to keep several things from happening: one, don’t drop the boyfriend. Two, don’t fall over. Three, do NOT drop the boyfriend. The macaroons were sacrificed in order to free up a hand and support Taako’s weight.
“Noooo not my precious macaroons…” Taako feigned distress.
Magnus, mid-strip, felt so bad about the macaroons that he started picking them up with one arm out of a sleeve and the other halfway out, his pants unbuttoned and threatening to fall. Taako clung to Kravitz, laughing into his shoulder while the reaper carefully stepped over the cookie tragedy and guilt-ridden Magnus, successfully escaping to the safety of the living room.
Lup was practically crying, doubled over, laughter shaking her to the very core but refusing to miss a moment of this footage.
“Alright, okay, listen gang!” Capn’port interrupted, “With that, I think this is a good time to get going, before this turns into the Cycle-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named all over again.” he had already collected his coat and plate of various cake slices. He stood nearby the door, smiling at his friends, but looking pretty tired after a full day of coordinating rebuilding projects in Neverwinter. Lucretia stood by him, throwing a knit silver scarf around her shoulders. She held a plate of strawberry cheesecake that Kravitz had insisted she take.
“Aw, so soon?” Magnus, wearing his shirt more like a scarf, abandoned the floor macaroons and made his way over to the foyer.
“Well, it is past midnight.” Davenport braced for impact as Magnus swept them both in one of his many hugs that night.
“It has been so wonderful seeing you all again.” Lucretia gave a few pats on the back.
“Don’t be a stranger!” Merle walked over to give out some hugs as well.
“We all live together.” Davenport stated, returning hugs, “Well, see you on the moon.”
--
Lucretia and Davenport were the first (and only) to leave. Shortly after, Angus was trying his best not to let sleep overcome him, but it was well past his bedtime and he ended up lying comfortably by the fire, using Johann as a pillow. Magnus (after some readjusting of his wardrobe), scooped up Angus and carried him to the guest room where he settled him onto a bed that was definitely more comfortable than the floor. In the meantime, Merle settled into the armchair, immediately falling asleep without meaning to. Magnus closed the door gently behind him, cleaned up the rest of the macaroons (as best as he could, which admittedly was not very well), and sat down on the couch claiming that he only needed a minute to rest his eyes. Obviously, that had been the point when Magnus tapped out too. Lup, after recovering from all the hilarious adventures the night had to offer, decided it was time to get her husband out of her clothes. They retired back downstairs, hand in hand.
Kravitz went off to fetch blankets. Taako stood in the kitchen, surveying.
Even with several mouths eating almost gluttonously, there was still quite an ensemble of things left. Taako figured he should get to work now, packaging up the food.
Kravitz returned from his trip down the hall with a pile of throw blankets in his arms. He laid one on Magnus, and Johann snuggled on the couch together. He gave the other to Merle, tucking it gingerly around the dwarf. He gave a pat on the head to Johann in passing, going to the kitchen to help tackle the leftovers.
Now that they were (somewhat) alone, Kravitz could finally question his boyfriend.
“Of all the many glorious things you made today, I think this is my favorite.” he picked up the tray of white chocolate raspberry cookies and combined them into a box with other goods.
“Made ‘em with extra love, I know those get you going.” Taako smiled, shoving a box into the already full cabinet.
“Very generous of you to make such a feast,” Kravitz interrupted Taako’s efforts to have an organized pantry by snaking arms around his waist. He was about to give up anyway, so he allowed the intrusion.
“So... what’s going on?” Kravitz hugged tightly, pressing his chest into his back. “I know you can be spontaneous, but this is the first time you’ve baked for an army."
Taako sighed, “My soldiers needed their strength. They’ve been off in the world, making things better. I’ve been... here. And ‘here’ had a lot of sugar and flour lying around, so naturally...” he trailed off.
Kravitz hummed, understanding. “You’re restless.” And maybe a bit lonely, but Kravitz would spare him that sentiment.
“You know, everyone’s got a thing!” Taako threw his hands up in frustration. Kravitz released his hold and let Taako turn to face him. “Team Kravitz has the reaper business. The two sleeping beauties over there are cleaning up the globe, doing restoration projects. All physical labor, how do they stand it! The moon squad is in on it too, and doing all sorts of nice philanthropic things. Did you know that even that nerdlord Lucas has a thing?? A nerd school for losers! Even he has a thing!” Taako rambled. “Honestly, bone daddy, I’m losing my mind over here. I’ve got nothing going on but looking pretty and cooking like a crazy person. I’ll probably end up adopting fifty cats if this keeps up!”
Kravitz let out a laugh, “Cats is an interesting idea. I wouldn’t mind a cat or two.”
“The deal’s fifty.” Taako sighed, burying his face in Kravtiz’s chest.
“Maybe you should ask Lucas to join his school. You’ve been a model teacher for Angus.” Kravitz said jokingly.
“I would rather shave my head than work for that nerd.”
Kravitz giggled at that mental image and decided that Taako would look good no matter what hair he decided to go with. “I’m serious, though, you have a talent for teaching when you apply yourself.”
Taako perked up, “Hey I just had a cool and original idea. I’m gonna start my own, way cooler, way more stylish school and teach a bunch of kids how to do actual magic and not suck.”
“How original indeed,” Kravitz loved the idea. “I know you may be joking now, but I think you should consider this seriously. You would excel at this, I know it.”
“The classrooms are going to be very chill. There’ll be designated snack times and students will have to duel n’ shit. “ Taako threw out a biscotti like a wand in offensive mode.
"And you can be my first employee, “ Taako rubbed a hand across the flat plane of Kravitz’s chest, “You can teach about religion, or music--- or maybe law would be better...”
“I really don’t know that much about the laws, here, in this plane.” Kravitz admitted.
“It's super easy-- no killing, no stealing, and absolutely no getting caught in an affair with the headmaster, Professor 'Vitz!" Taako slid a hand across his chest and squeezed his bicep.
Kravitz scoffed, holding Taako’s hips, "Vitz?".
"Mhm yeah, 'Krav' is more my thing, so everyone else has to get their own. They'll call you 'Vitz' 'cuz you're a cool professor who goes by a nickname." Taako leaned forward on Kravitz’s knees and looped his arms around his neck.
Kravitz trailed his hand up Taako’s back and pulled him in a little closer, "You're putting a lot of thought into this."
"It takes an eye for detail to build a school this cool, Professor."
"I don't think it’s an 'affair' if the headmaster is literally my boyfriend..."
"Oh, but nobody knows that much yet. All anybody knows you got a thing for Headmaster Taako, and there’re speculations that things might have gotten spicy up in that grand office with the nice mahogany desk, and that's a risky rumor because you could lose your job if word gets around...but don't worry, professor, I won't tell.... as long as you give me that A.” and suddenly two hands are groping Kravitz’s ass.
He jumps at the unexpected touch (that he really should have expected), "You'll get an A for imagination, but you're getting detention for blackmailing and harassing the teacher. Come with me, mister, you’re in trouble." picks him up and carries him off up the stairs over his shoulder
"Nooooo it's gonna go in my permanent record!"