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They"ve been best friends since middle school and not once has Cas spent the night at Dean"s. Dean"s never stayed at Cas" place either, but he has a good reason for it. A reason that seemed to slip his mind when Cas needed a place to stay until the renovations in his apartment are finished, and Dean made a spur of the moment decision to offer Cas his couch.
He"s regretting that decision now.
He blames the heat though, if it wasn"t so goddamn hot in his apartment he never would have had to get up and get a drink. Additionally, Cas would probably be curled up under a blanket in proper pyjamas instead of sprawled half naked on top of the bedding Dean gave him. He"s half hard in his sleep, the pair of tight boxer briefs doing precisely nothing to hide that fact and Dean"s overwhelmed with the desire to touch. He wants to crawl onto the couch and kiss every inch of him, slide his hands over those strong legs and coax quiet moans and groans from him. He wants to take Cas apart and put him back together again. Stronger men than Dean have given in to less temptation, but he manages to haul his ass into the kitchen, turning the tap on as quietly as possible.
Cas mumbles something in his sleep and Dean"s ready to show him his glass and hurry back to his own room, but as he steps forward into the living room, he realizes Cas is still asleep, he"s also moved. Instead of crossed over his stomach, he"s thrown one arm up over his head, the other settled gently between his legs. Dean groans softly and grits his teeth as his eyes travel over the expanse of bare skin, pale and almost glowing in the moonlight. His dick twitches with interest and his hand slips down on its own, brushing over the growing bulge in his underwear. It"s always been like this, he thinks regretfully, Cas totally oblivious and Dean usually ending up in a frigid shower because he will not jerk off to the thought of his best friend.
Cas shifts in his sleep, a hushed moan escaping his lips, his mouth falling open in a soft o, and that"s it for Dean. The universe is totally fucking with him, he just wishes there was more actual fucking involved. He clenches his cup in one hand and crosses the living room quickly, shutting the door just a little too frantically. It closes louder than expected and he winces, setting his glass down before face planting his bed. He groans into his pillow, crossing his arms beneath it.
He wants to sleep, but it"s too damn hot and now that he has the image of Cas burned into his brain, sleep seems like a distant fantasy. Dean reprimands himself for being so pathetic, he"s almost thirty now and still acting like he"s in high school. He curls his hands into fists in frustration, he wants to get off, but he won"t. Even if Cas wasn"t right at the top of the no-touch list, it"s weird as hell getting off to your friend. Dean"s so distracted trying to repress his lust that he doesn"t realize the door has opened until Cas" voice fills the room, rough from sleep.
"Dean? I heard the door slam, are you okay?" he"s standing in the doorway and thankfully has managed to pull on a pair of jeans, probably to hide his erection.
""m fine," Dean grumbled, pretending that image wasn"t still stuck in his head.
"You look tense." Dean feels the bed dip a little and he panics.
"It"s about a thousand degrees in here, Cas."
"Dean," Cas chides, flopping over next to him. The problem with being his best friend for nearly twenty years is that he can tell when Dean"s bullshitting.
"I"m okay, Cas, I got up to get a drink and you-" fuck.
"You"re grumpy because of me?"
"I"m grumpy because of the heat. It"s like three am, can"t you just go back to bed?"
"Not if I"ve done anything to upset you. I know you don"t like people staying overnight, but I thought since you offered-"
"Oh God, Cas, that has nothing to do with this."
"Tell me?" Cas props himself up on one elbow, facing him, and Dean"s tempted to just kick him out, but he already feels guilty for making Cas think he"s done something wrong. The words tumble out before he can think to stop them.
"I like you." When Cas just looked over at him patiently, Dean continued. "I like like you," he groaned, burying his face in the blanket. Wow, he was sounding like a high schooler now. Awesome.
"Really?" Cas asked simply, apparently unaffected.
No, I thought it might be fun to screw with you. "Yeah." Obviously.
"I don"t understand what that has to do with right now."
"You don"t want to know."
"After this long, I think I can handle anything you have to say." Cas brushes a hand down his back and Dean tenses for the briefest moment before relaxing, pressing up into the touch slightly. He rolls onto his side, facing Cas and tugging a blanket up over his hips, which is probably an admission in itself because no one in their right mind is sleeping under the covers tonight. If Cas notices, he doesn"t say anything but his eyes flick down briefly before settling back on Dean"s face.
"Dean?"
"I can"t Cas." He hopes the honesty reaches Cas, that he realizes how hard this is for Dean that Cas even knows.
"I don"t mind. It doesn"t bother me."
"It should."
"Dean, it"s flattering. You"re beautiful and kind, anyone would be lucky to have your love."
He scoffs, rolling his eyes and dropping onto his back to avoid looking directly at Cas. This isn"t the first time they"ve have this argument. "Don"t be ridiculous."
"Do you not see the way people look at you? How they want you?"
Dean pushes his tongue into his cheek, considering. "Do you want me?" It"s supposed to come out sarcastic - yeah everyone but you - but it comes out a little desperate, seeking approval.
"Right now?" Cas breathes, a small smile forming, "yeah." His tongue darts out to wet his lips and Dean"s barely breathing as he watches it. He doesn"t know how to react, he barely knows how to speak.
"Dean?" He tilts his head to face Cas. "If you want, it"s only a step up."
"What are you saying?"
"We could try, get dinner - do it properly?"
Dean sighs and tips his head back, exhaling loudly, "I don"t want your sympathy, Cas."
"It"s not sympathy, Dean. I meant what I said, anyone would be lucky to have you. I may not feel the way you do right now, but isn"t that how every relationship starts? Dean," he says, dragging his fingers along Dean"s jaw, tilting his head to face him, "you are the most important person in my life. I wouldn"t be who I am if it wasn"t for you and if this is what you want, how you feel, I think that we should try. We know we work well together, it"s just a slightly different setting."
Dean exhales slowly, rolling onto his side, though still avoiding direct eye contact, "You"re serious, aren"t you?"
"Very," Cas nods.
"Can I-?" Cas smiles and slides forward, leaning over him.
It"s three o"clock in the morning in the middle of July and Dean can"t remember the last time he took a breath. Cas" lips brush against him softly, pressing a little harder as Dean relaxes. He"s kissing his best friend in bed, and this should be so fucking weird. And it is, but not as weird as he expected it to be. Cas is gentle, but there"s power behind it, like he wants more than Dean is giving him, and he wants to give it to him. He rolls onto his side, surprised when they"re close enough that their chests touch and breaks the kiss.
"This is weird," he mumbles.
"Bad weird?"
"No, just... unexpected?"
"Do you want to stop?"
He looks up and there"s actual concern in Cas" eyes, something not unlike fear. "No," he replies, and Cas kisses him again almost immediately, letting Dean roll him onto his back and slide one leg between his. Dean kisses him without restraint this time, sliding his tongue into Cas" mouth and pressing one hand to Cas" jaw, thumbing over the heavy stubble there. Cas tugs him and Dean goes with it, shifting until he"s straddling Cas" hips, holding himself up on his elbows, fingertips grazing through dark hair as Cas hums contentedly beneath him. It"s hard to believe this is actually happening, that Cas is kissing him, in his bed, and his brain chooses that moment to point out that he"s not wearing anything more than boxers and his cock has regained its previous interest.
He pulls away, sitting back on his heels and looking down on Cas, which was probably a mistake. Cas looks totally wrecked, lips wet and swollen, hair sticking out in every direction, even more of a mess than usual. Dean"s cock gives another twitch of interest and he bites the inside of his lip.
"Fuck," he breathes.
"You okay?" Cas asks, and Dean manages a nod. "Is this too much?"
"No." Dean chuckles softly, "kind of the opposite." Cas smirks, an expression that looks way too damn good on him, and rolls his hips just so that Dean can feel how hard he is through his jeans. Dean barely suppresses a moan and glances down questioningly.
"You look surprised."
"A little," Dean admits, "this is what I wanted." Cas grins and pulls Dean down against him.
"And I"m not allowed to want the same thing? I told you, you"re important to me," he pauses to grin up at him again, "and you"re fucking hot."
"You want this?" Dean asks breathlessly, "more, I mean."
"Only if you do." Cas tips his head back, pressing his nose into Dean"s cheek before kissing the corner of his mouth.
"God, yes."
Cas slides his hands down Dean"s sides, holding Dean"s hips as he rocks his own up against him. It"s perfect, fucking amazing and Dean wants more of it. He grinds down hard, claiming Cas" mouth and swallowing his moan. He"s so hard now, and every touch is ecstasy. He returns Cas" moan, grinning against his mouth and Cas is smiling back at him.
"You wanna get these off?" Cas mumbles against him, tugging on his own jeans. Dean kisses him once more and pushes himself up, kissing along Cas" jaw and over his throat, smirking at the soft sounds he gets when his tongue flicks over a nipple. He undoes Cas" button with his teeth and yeah, he"s showing off a bit, but he"s determined to make a good impression. Dragging his zipper down, he noses at the bulge in Cas" boxers, breathing hotly over his straining erection. Cas lifts his hips and Dean tugs the jeans over his hips, dragging his thumbs down Cas" legs and re-tracing the line with his tongue. Cas tugs him back up, shoving his boxers down as soon as he can reach, hands fitting around Dean"s ass and pulling him closer.
Any words are lost as their mouths meet again, gracelessly as they both try to worm out of their clothes. Dean"s boxers hit the floor first, shortly followed by Cas" jeans and boxers and Dean is rolled onto his back, moaning into Cas" mouth as Cas grinds down on his cock. It"s so hot Dean feels like he"s going to melt, and Cas isn"t helping, trying to touch every inch of him, following each touch with a press of lips. He wonders vaguely if Cas is always like this, if he treats all of his partners like they"re something to be worshipped, but his thoughts are cut short when a set of swollen, spit-slick lips wrap around the head of his cock.
"Jesus, Cas," his hips jerk up and Cas presses him back against the bed, taking Dean deeper as he moans and clenches his hands in the sheets. Any logical thought is pushed from his mind as Cas slides back up his shaft, wrapping his tongue around the head and teasing the slit. Dean"s lucky he"s not actually in high school anymore, because fifteen years ago, if someone was sucking him down like that, he"d be coming down their throat in a matter of minutes.
Still, he pushes Cas up, sitting in front of him, craning his neck to kiss him again as he cups Cas" balls in one hand, rolling them gently between his fingers as his other hand curled around Cas" cock. The kiss is broken with a stuttered intake of breath and Cas buried his face in Dean"s neck, humming and mouthing at his skin. His hips jerk forward clumsily and Dean braces him with his knees, pressing kisses into Cas" shoulder and pumping him faster, tightening his fist around the head.
"Ah! Dean." Cas bites down on his shoulder and it sends a pulse to his own, neglected cock. He groans into Cas" skin, sliding one hand up to his hip and shuffling forward so he can stroke them together. "Mm, I want to fuck you."
"Then do it, baby."
"Baby?" Cas asks with a smirk, and he"s pushing Dean back against the mattress, still fucking into Dean"s hand as he crawls over him. He quiets Dean"s reply with his mouth, kissing him deeply and sliding a hand down his thigh. Cas pulls away, slipping down his body and pressing a hand down under Dean"s thigh and back to trace around his hole. Dean tenses immediately, but Cas" hand is suddenly smoothing up his side and he"s whispering soft encouragements that actually help to calm him down.
"I"m okay," he breathes, "don"t stop."
"Not going to." Cas leans up to kiss him, running the pad of his finger over the puckered muscle, pressing against it as his tongue tangled with Dean"s.
The first finger slips in easily and Cas is careful, he takes his time working in and out, crooking his finger and twisting it. Dean whines when it"s removed, but Cas is leaning low over him, lips brushing against his ear.
"Please tell me you have something."
"Lube"s in the top drawer," he gestures with his head and leans up to kiss Cas" stomach as the man leans over him. Cas sits back on his heels and smiles at him as he pops the lid on the bottle. He spreads the gel over his fingers, setting the bottle aside and leaning back over as he pushes in again, deeper. It hurts a little - it"s been a long fucking time - but it"s mixed with pleasure and ultimately feels amazing.
There"s a sudden moment of anxiety when he realizes what he"s about to do, what he"s already doing, and how it could potentially affect his relationship with Cas. For the briefest moment he wants to flee, wants to get as far away as he can, but Cas pulls his fingers out and kisses along Dean"s jaw. He hums and kisses Dean softly until his arms come up to wrap around Dean"s neck.
"I shouldn"t be the one who"s nervous," Dean chuckles, breathless, "I"ve wanted this for so long."
"Maybe I"m just better at hiding it," Cas grins. His fingers slip back inside and Cas is halfway through asking if he"s still okay when Dean groans and arches up to meet him.
"Oh God Cas, fuck." He misses whatever Cas" reply is, because he"s scrabbling at the sheets, moaning with each brush of Cas" fingers over his prostate. Dean"s all but whimpering, fucking back onto Cas" fingers and running his hands through the man"s hair. He"s sure he could come just like this, Cas fucking into him with his hand, Cas kissing him. It"s better than anything he could have expected.
The pain is gone by the time Cas adds a third finger, leaving only a pleasant burn in its place. Cas is still running his hand over Dean"s chest, kissing up his thigh and nipping at his hipbones, and Dean keeps fucking down on him with increasing desperation.
"Baby come on, I need you to fuck me," he whines, "please Cas. God, I want you." Cas pulls out silently, and Dean can hear the click of the lid again as he slicks himself up and positions himself. The blunt head of his cock presses against Dean"s hole and Cas presses in slowly, his eyelids fluttering. He pushes the rest of the way in and still, clenching his fists in the sheets on either side of Dean"s hips. Dean runs his hands up Cas" arms, rubbing circles over his elbows as he adjusts to the intrusion.
It doesn"t take long before he"s losing patience again and he pulls back and pushes onto Cas" cock, breath hitching as he bottoms out. His fingers press into Cas" arm as Cas picks up speed, rocking forward quickly. Their rhythm is off a little, they"re both overeager and already slick with sweat. Cas falls to his elbows, kissing up Dean"s chest as he rolls his hips, slow and deep, grunting with each thrust. It continues, slow and steady until Cas shifts, hitting Dean"s prostate sharply.
"Oh fuck," Dean moans, slamming back down on him. "Jesus Cas, right there. Fuck, right there." He slides his arms up Cas" back, gripping his shoulders tightly. Their mouths meet again, rough and wet, teeth clashing and nipping at lips. Cas rolls them over, bringing his knees up so he can thrust deeper, nailing Dean"s prostate with each pass. Dean rocks back on him, kissing along Cas" jaw, biting at his neck. It"s fast and hot and Dean can"t keep his mouth off Cas, wanting to kiss all of him.
They"ve lost all elegance now, thrusting hard and fast, and Dean pushes himself up, leaning back on his hands and rocking forward, chasing his orgasm. He"s getting close and he can tell Cas is too, muttering and groaning beneath him, his hands just barely ghosting over Dean"s sides. Dean slips one hand down to his cock, but it"s batted away as Cas pulls him down, kissing him hard as he rolls them back over.
"Fuck, Dean," he breathes, "should"ve done this a long time ago. So good," he mumbles, littering Dean"s chest with sloppy kisses as his hips snap hard into him.
"So fuckin" good," Dean echoes, head tipped back and stomach arched up to meet Cas" lips. One of Cas" hands slips down between them, fingers curling around Dean"s cock, and he knows he"s not going to last much longer. He fucks up roughly into Cas" hand, his own hands back on Cas" shoulders, fingers digging into his skin.
Cas" hips jerk sharply and he presses his forehead against Dean" shoulder, driving in hard and fast. Dean"s legs come up to wrap around Cas" hips and hold tightly as he mumbles incoherently. Cas tenses above him, dropping to his elbows and curling his fingers into Dean"s hair as he comes. He"s still swearing against Dean"s neck when Dean tips over the edge. His head jerks up, hitting Cas" shoulder and he"s laughing as he comes down, sprawled boneless on the bed. Cas picks himself up a little, and he"s laughing too, as he runs a hand through Dean"s hair.
"Are you okay?"
"I"ll survive," Dean grins, and Cas leans down to kiss him before flopping onto the bed next to Dean. They lie still for a long time while Dean catches his breath and lets reality sink in.
He"s not the kind of guy to get all mushy after sex, but the fact that Cas is just lying there is making him nervous. Logically, he shouldn"t be - it"s some ridiculous hour in the morning and Cas had already been asleep, so it wouldn"t be surprising if he"s fallen asleep again. However, it is, some ridiculous hour in the morning and Dean"s just confessed that he has feelings for his best friend and then been thoroughly fucked, so he"s not exactly thinking clearly.
Panic sets in after a few minutes, and he"s sure that he"s royally fucked up this time. Cas is going to have changed his mind and everything"s going to fall to shit the way it always does. Fuck. He swallows hard and slides his hands anxiously over the sheet. He could have lied, should have lied. Should not have had sex with Cas. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
The slide of skin against his own distracts him and he looks down to where Cas is now rubbing calming circles into his palm.
"Cas?" he whispers, and there"s a muffled "mmhm?" is reply, but he suddenly has no idea what he was actually going to say, so he falls silent again, hoping Cas will drift off and then can discuss this in the morning. His hand pulls away and that seems to get Cas" attention because he"s turning to face Dean now, frowning a little.
"Don"t," he says calmly, before Dean has a chance to speak. A gently smile spreads across his face as he continues, lifting a hand to smooth over Dean"s cheek. "You"re worrying, don"t. If I didn"t want to be here, I wouldn"t still be in your bed." Dean sighs, he forgets sometimes how well Cas knows him.
"You want this?"
"I don"t want to lose you, Dean."
"So, you still want to do this?" he asks. Cas chuckles lightly, tangling his fingers with Dean"s and rolling over to face him. He kisses Dean softly, lingering a little longer than he needs to get his point across. Dean"s smiling hopefully at him as Cas breaks the kiss. "So?"
"I"m in if you are."