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totally gay together

Summary:

Kurt takes a deep breath, slowly breathing in through his nose and then exhaling even slower out through his mouth, and then says, “So you guys are just trying to get into my pants?”

“Dude no!” Noah says incredulously as Matt violently shakes his head. “I’m just trying to get into your pants. But Matt wants to, like, date you and be totally gay together!”

Notes:

More Glee poly(ish)!
Set during S1, E7.

Unbeta'd.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Kurt throws his head back with a laugh when he sees the face Matt makes—it's his adorably disgusted expression, as Kurt has dubbed it over the last couple of weeks in which they've gotten closer—and he maintains eye contact as he takes another bite of his salad. Matt's face goes from adorably disgusted to hilariously outraged (another signature expression that Kurt has learned means revenge), and Kurt hurries to chew and then swallow his bite of kale before the boy decides to go after him.

Holding up his hands in surrender, Kurt opens his mouth to beg for mercy but it's too late. Matt's fingers land on his side and begin to tickle him, sliding up his side where Kurt's the most sensitive and hitting all of his weak spots. He shifts on the bench so he's straddling it and slides closer, an entire arm wrapping around Kurt's waist and pressing them together so he can continue his tickle assault all while Kurt tries not to pass out from laughing-induced-oxygen-deficiency as he uselessly tries to bat Matt's hand away.

By the time Matt's fingers go from tickling to a softer sort of rubbing that makes Kurt's entire body feel too warm, Kurt is complete breathless and still shaking with giggles. He leans his shoulder against Matt's chest, slumping his weight into the warmth the taller boy provides and not saying anything about it; just like they've been doing for the last two weeks since Sue created a second club and filled it with the minorities of Glee.

Matt and Kurt had talked for the first time—or at least, Kurt had talked and Matt had responded through a series of facial expressions and body movements—and then hadn't stopped since. They walk to classes together and sit together during lunch, and the other day they even got a coffee after school on what felt suspiciously like a date. Kurt hasn't put a name on it yet, mostly because Matt has still yet to verbally speak to him and Kurt won't decide anything serious on a hunch, but it's clear to anyone who looks that they're a more than just friends.

Or at least, that's what Mercedes keeps telling him while Kurt insists nothing is going on.

“You know, kale is good for you,” Kurt says quietly, rolling his eyes at the smirk Mercedes sends him from across the table. He pops a forkful of salad into his mouth and chews as loudly as one can chew on salad and looks up at Matt from under his lashes as he gestures to the burger and fries on the tray in front of him. “It wouldn't hurt you to eat some vegetables.”

Matt grabs Kurt's free hand with a flirty little smile that still makes Kurt's knees feel a bit weak, and he pulls the limb to him, pressing Kurt's palm over his stomach. Through the thin material of his t-shirt, Kurt can very easily feel the boy's warmth and the hard planes that make up his belly, even when he's curled forward to keep his arm around Kurt's waist. Kurt sucks in a shocked gasp of air but doesn't manage to stop himself from rubbing over Matt's stomach with his fingertips and marvelling at touching another boy for the first time.

“Oh. Oh, yes, maybe you're fine without kale,” Kurt manages, even more breathless than he'd been after the tickle fight as his fingers slide over bumps of muscle. Kurt tries not to be shallow, but knowing the boy has such defined abs is definitely doing something for him. 

He's shocked out of the trance-like state he feels like he's fallen into by a rather obnoxious whistle from behind him. Kurt jerks away, sitting straight up as fear slams into his belly—a reaction that has been ingrained in him over the last year of slushie facials and locker slams and dumpster tosses. The whistle is familiar enough that the immediate fear reaction is actually justified, and Kurt doesn't need to turn around and look to know it’s Noah Puckerman climbing onto the bench beside him, mirroring Matt's position but keeping a length of space between them.

“Matt, you hogging out boy again?” Noah asks, all easy smirk and raised eyebrow and effortless confidence.

“Our boy?” Kurt squeaks, his voice several octaves higher than he intends for it to be.

He glares at Matt first, because at least he knows Matt. The other boy drops his eyes, but Kurt spots the pink flush that's climbing over his cheeks. He finds it hard to be mad when he looks so sweet—cheeks flushed and eyes stuck on his lap—, especially with the way he's still holding Kurt in a half-hug against his chest. He turns his glare on Puck—who he has only talked to a handful of times before and has certainly never been so close to, and does his best to maintain his bitchiest expression even as the other boy smirks at him.

“Well, I guess just Matt’s boy, since he’s the one dating you. I just wanna get in on the sexy times,” Noah says easily, an obnoxious eyebrow waggle following his words as though he didn't just turn Kurt's entire world upside down with a single sentence.

“Matt hasn't asked me out,” Kurt manages to say, despite the way it feels like his head is literally spinning. He cuts his eyes over to Mercedes, the only other person still at their table since everyone else has apparently left when Noah showed up, and tries to beg for help with his eyes. Since she's a traitor, all she does is watch and shovel tater tots into her mouth like she’s watching reality TV. 

“Wait, dude really?” Noah asks, leaning around Kurt to stare at Matt with a look of shock. It brings him closer to Kurt, close enough that his shoulder digs into Kurt's stomach and floods his senses with a pleasant muskiness.

Matt shrugs. Kurt feels it since they’re still more or less cuddled together. The other boy remains silent and Kurt remains stuck between them, feeling like his entire body has seized up in shock. Really, he has no idea what he’s supposed to do or how he’s supposed to react.

“Can one of you please explain to me what’s going on here?” Kurt ends up asking, feeling even more put off by the silent conversation Noah and Matt seem to be having around him. 

“Well, Matty here has been wanting to get with you for a stupidly long time,” Noah explains, his voice closer to Kurt’s ear than it was a moment ago. He doesn’t need to look down to see that the boy has moved as he seems to be caging Kurt in on Matt’s other side—scooting close enough that Kurt’s shoulder brushes his chest and their knees press together. “When he finally told me about it, I figured we should go after you together. No way you could resist McKinley’s two manliest studs, and me and Matt have like, crazy good sexual chemistry.”

Kurt takes a deep breath, slowly breathing in through his nose and then exhaling even slower out through his mouth, and then says, “So you guys are just trying to get into my pants?”

“Dude no!” Noah says incredulously as Matt violently shakes his head rather violently. “ I’m just trying to get into your pants. But Matt wants to, like, date you and be totally gay together!”

“Is that right, Matthew?” Kurt turns to the other boy with a raised eyebrow and his poutiest frown, resting a hand high on the boy’s thigh as he tries desperately to keep himself steady.

“Yes,” Matt tells him— with actual, vocalized words!— with a sweet, little smile that Kurt doesn’t think he’s seen before. It shows off his teeth in a silly manner, which are far straighter and whiter than Kurt had realized before, and his cheeks turn pink in a way that is way too appealing. Any doubts about their genuineness or fears that they were playing with him vanish the moment he hears the other boy’s voice, and Kurt’s stomach erupts in nervous butterflies. 

“And you just want to sleep with me?” Kurt asks, turning to Noah in a bid to ignore the way his heart is racing because a boy wants to date him, oh my Gaga.

“I want to sleep with both of you, preferably at the same time but I’m not picky,” Noah says crudely, and even cruder grin stretching over his face. Well, at least that’s believable. Kurt snorts at the ridiculous look on Noah’s face, but then takes a moment to think over what everything he was just offered. 

“Okay,” Kurt says, before narrowing his eyes at Noah. “But you’re wrapping it up if you’re going to be sleeping with other people. Girls talk. I know you seem to hate condoms, but you’ll be using them if we aren’t exclusive. And yes, Noah, even if I can’t get pregnant, condoms are still necessary. Unless you want warts on your penis.” Kurt turns back to Matt, his face softening as he looks at the boy who likes him. “And you,” he says gentler, rubbing a small circle into Matt’s thigh with his thumb. “I expect to be wooed, mister. Don’t think that I’m a done deal just because you can distract me with your dimples and possibly wonderful abs.”

“I can handle that,” Matt says, just as quietly before, and Kurt swoons just a little at the rumble of the other boy’s voice. When he chances a glance over, Mercedes is watching them with her mouth dropped open and her eyes wide, and Kurt can’t help but giggling at the look on her face. He smiles, leaning into Matt’s side, and wondering if he should be thanking Sue Sylvester for the turn his life has apparently taken. 

Notes:

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