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this is the worthwhile fight

Summary:

It's not that Henry's scared of their future, he's never been more sure of anything in his life.

The thing is they're still trying to figure out how that future is going to look. And he worries about how it'll affect Alex's career in politics.
 

Notes:

The biggest shout out to k aka reignstarks for providing the concept for this fic that I basically took and ran with. Also just a shout-out out for being the absolute best, thank you!

The title is a lyric from State of Grace by Taylor Swift (which is a fitting song both for this fic and for firstprince in general).

Anyways, enjoy and let me know what you think!

Work Text:

 

 

 

Henry is alone in the Brooklyn brownstone, a fact that has become common ever since Alex graduated law school and accepted a job with Rafael.

The job meant he had to move back to DC. And as much as they had gotten used to finally being settled in the same place for long periods of time, Henry couldn't just leave yet. Which meant they were back at square one, only seeing each other for days or a week at a time whenever they could spare. 

It would be easy to pack up and leave, move to DC with Alex for a bit. But Henry still felt like he wasn't quite done here, he still had things to do and a charity to run and things to finalize for moving away and... 

Well, he knows the Brooklyn shelter doesn't necessarily need him anymore. Everyone on staff has it handled, he knows they can do this without him being there constantly, they had done it before. It was running smoothly and would continue to do so once he decided to step back to only being a occasional presence.

For the most part, he probably just wanted to be here more than he was actually needed.

And he knows that he can't stay in Brooklyn forever, he's probably stayed much longer than he should've already. Not that his mum, or anyone else, has called him out on it. 

But he isn't ready to face what that might mean. Not completely, especially if leaving means that he still won't be back in England completely for his duties but instead with Alex and the two rings he's given him over the years. 

It's not that he's scared of their future, he's never been more sure of anything in his life.

The thing is they're still trying to figure out how that future is going to look. And he worries about how it'll affect Alex's career in politics. 

It hadn't even fully crossed his mind until after the excitement of the engagement had settled. Henry woke up, a week later, to find Alex with crumbled papers and his computer opened as he typed away. 

Henry laughed softly, remembering Alex talking about how June said he was always moving as if he had a fire under his ass. And how he pretty much had tunnel vision when it came to decisions.

It's a habit that hasn't changed, because he was now rambling about his career plan and how a royal marriage could affect that path, his dream path. The one thing that Alex had always talked about doing in his life.

Henry's stomach twisted in uncomfortable knots as the thought sunk in, he swallowed, everything seeming to sour. He felt stupid for not even considering that when he decided it was time, when he picked out a ring, when he asked Alex to marry him.

They both knew this was a forever thing, they'd talked about marriage a few times throughout the years as a definite thing in the future. They'd even discussed Alex's career plans and where they'd likely live. But never in extreme detail, it always seemed so far off.

Now it's hitting him that they should've talked through the details because they hadn't discussed how those things may intersect.

"Oh," he said, trying not to sound disappointed in that moment. And maybe, Alex had just gotten better at reading Henry's tone over the years because he stopped typing and looked immediately at Henry.

Before he could say anything, Henry asked, "Would... How would it affect your career?"

Alex smiled, almost wryly, as he shifted to look at Henry better. "So, here's the thing... It's not very common to have politicians be married to royalty of foreign countries. Obviously. But... Okay, so, when we get married, I'll get a title, right? Because we'll both become the Dukes of where ever the fuck in England. Which by the way, sounds dope as hell. I can't wait to go around having people address me as your highness."

The tension in his stomach eased as he laughed, half burying his face in his pillow. "Yes, darling, you'll be a Duke," he said, watching Alex grin back at him. 

"And his royal highness," Alex added, nudging him with his knee.

"Not until we get married but yes, that'd be your full title," he said, "His Royal Highness Alexander, Duke of Ineffable Ambitions."

Alex rolled his eyes, still smiling brilliantly, "Seriously, your royal ancestors are probably rolling in their graves at the very thought."

He laughed, "Oh, I'm sure they are."

"Angering your ancestors is what we do best, baby," Alex replied. Adjusting the laptop to keep it from sliding off his lap, before clearing his throat. "Back to my original point. There's this thing called the Title of Nobility clause. It's basically a whole thing where anyone in office can't have or accept a noble title from foreign leaders."

Henry froze slightly, the same uncomfortable twist coming back in full force. 

Alex continued, "Unless they get explicit permission from Congress. It's this whole thing about how basically they don't want government officials to be corrupted or influenced by foreign governments, because its not like there aren't politicians getting corrupted or influenced by American billionaires paying them off. But that's besides the point," he stops, then sighs. "Basically, what I'm trying to say is it's something that I'll have to deal with if I want to be allowed to run for office."

Henry's breath catches as he sits up slightly, "Alex, maybe we should consider-"

But he gets cut off by Alex's hand covering his mouth. "Shut the fuck up, if you even consider saying we should rethink getting married. I'm pushing you off the fucking bed. Got it?"

Henry nodded. Alex looked at him for a long moment before slowly removing his hand. He paused, for a minute rethinking his previous statement. "Alex, being Senator is your dream job, I don't... I can't be the reason you don't get to have that. I won't allow it."

"Don't be stupid," Alex said, letting out a heavy sigh. "I want to marry you more than anything, that doesn't change just because of this. We've been through a lot already just to get here. Besides, didn't you hear me? I just need to get permission from Congress and yeah, that'll be hard as fuck, but it's still possible."

"You think so?"

"It's worth a shot, isn't it? This specific scenario has never happened before so who knows what they'll say. But I'm charming as fuck and I got the best speech writer around, I think if anyone can pull it off, it's me," Alex said. "Most importantly, we'll do it together."

"Well, you have said you're all for making history, love," Henry conceded, smiling softly as he looked at Alex. That uneasy knot steadily loosening, he thinks there's nothing in this world he wouldn't do for this man. 

They've been through a lot and they knew none of this would be easy. And if this were Henry five years ago, he would've made the decision for Alex, would've run and not be in the way of this. But sitting here with Alex in his glasses and his hair a mess with the two rings and a key hanging from his neck, saying they'll figure it out together makes him want to see it through. 

For once, he isn't going anywhere and he's never been more sure of it. 

Alex nodded, broad grin, as he closed his laptop and set it on the bedside table. "Of course, cariño. We'll keep making history," he said leaning over and pressing a kiss on Henry's jaw, then another, a trail to his lips. 

And it felt like just maybe it could work out, that Alex could have it all. And Henry would be able to be by his side through it.

He knows there's still things to work out concerning Alex's political plans, and they've decided to keep the engagement under wraps for now until they get settled. 

Ever since then he gets an occasional update on the topic because Alex, and everyone in DC that he trusts, are trying to look into the logistics whenever they have down time (or in Alex's case whenever he gets a moment). They're trying to find the loopholes for this unique situation of theirs. He gets asked his opinions, though he still doesn't know enough about the inner workings of American Politics to offer much.

It's something they're taking one step at a time though. Together. 

 

 


 

 

It's on a Monday morning, months later, when he gets the call. 

"Shaan, I'm just about ready to head out," Henry says, as he gathers his things up to head to the shelter for a day of work.

"Henry, turn on the TV," Shaan says, sounding distracted there's noise in the background. He gives him the channel number and Henry feels instantly worried by the tone of Shaan's voice. 

It takes a moment to get the right channel, or to even realize what's going on. But there in the corner are pictures of Henry and Alex, the official ones from the suitor photo op they'd done.

"Is this the end for the world's favorite sweethearts? It seems that Prince Henry and Alex Claremont-Diaz are heading towards a possible split," the woman on screen is saying, "Everyone has been expecting wedding bells in the near future for them. But sources close to the pair confirm they've been going through a rough patch with constant arguments."

Henry feels his heart drop completely, the arguments happened but they weren't constant. Just a few when they'd been especially stressed and trying to figure out when the wedding might happen, or even discussing Alex's possible career path. But he hadn't thought they'd been that bad, they were always fine afterwards, once they'd taken a breather and talked it out. 

That wasn't enough to break them up, was it?

"Sources even say the couple are barely in contact anymore. They apparently haven't seen or spoken to each other in a long time," the woman continues.

"Which isn't surprising," her co-anchor speaks up, "Seeing as there's reports of them not even living together anymore. With Claremont-Diaz back in DC and Prince Henry still based here in New York."

Henry's heart feels like it's close to pounding out of his chest and there's a ringing in his ears as he tries to make sense of it all. 

It's true they're living apart. And it's true they hardly see each other anymore, and it's true that the last time he spoke to Alex was several days ago. And before then all their calls had been short check in's and not at all their usual long calls they'd always had before. 

And it feels like the earth beneath his feet is crumbling. He thought they'd been okay, but maybe, maybe, they haven't been. It seems they hadn't been. 

At least not okay enough that others have caught on to the slight off balance.

It's not like it's the first time that there's been break-up rumors surrounding them, but those had all been nothing with any base. They'd been click bait articles screenshots by June and sent to the group chat followed by jokes from the rest of them.

But this time is different.

This time it's much more substantial because it adds up in a way that makes his stomach twist and ache.

He's shaken out of his thoughts by Shaan's voice on the other line calling his name. He shakes his head, shakily says, "Uh, sorry. I... I, er, I'll call you back."

Hanging up, he realizes just how much he's shaking as he's trying to go through his contacts for Alex's name. He paces as he listens to the ringing, waiting for the line to connect, in the background they're still discussing the possible end of his relationship. 

"It's Alex Claremont-Diaz, I can't come to the phone-"

He hangs up and redials before hitting voicemail over and over and over again. He sends a few texts that don't get answer before attempting to call again. 

The situation causes a bitter laugh to ripple out of his chest as he realizes this was probably Alex all those years ago. Trying to get a hold of him as he ignored all the calls. 

He let's out a shaky breath, feeling at wit's end. 

The banging on the door startles him before he realizes he'd hung up on Shaan. And then proceeded to ignore his calls as he tried to call Alex.

Sure enough, there Shaan stands with the PPO's. Concern written clearly on his face as he catches sight of Henry.

"Your highness," he says, "Are you alright?"

Henry scrubs a hand over his face as he looks back towards the TV, the screen showing the weekly forecast. They've clearly moved on from his love life. 

"Henry?"

Henry swallows snapping his attention back towards Shaan, who's looking at him with a torn expression. "I need to get to DC as soon as possible," he says, his phone held tightly in his hands. 

And it's not until those words are spoken that he realizes that's exactly what he needs to do now.

Shaan doesn't hesitate before nodding and giving orders to the two PPO's with him. 

And Henry isn't sure what else happens after that. He's pretty sure Shaan disappears into the apartment somewhere before reappearing with a duffle bag. He gently nudges Henry throw the door, saying something that he can't focus on as he attempts to call Alex again. 

His phone gets confiscated by Shaan as soon as they get to the airport. Which is both for the best and makes him even more antsy as he sits in a plane seat trying very hard to stay still. To not let how much he's thoroughly freaking out show. 

Shaan is a solid comforting presence beside him, but even that isn't enough to calm him. Not even Shaan's calm voice while he reads out whatever he can find to read shakes Henry out of his thoughts as much as it usually would have. 

"Your highness," Shaan says, gently grabbing his shoulder. "Henry, I'm sure it's going to be alright."

And Henry wants to believe him more than anything. But that small part of his brain keeps telling him it might not be. 

 

 


 

 

Once they land in DC, they make a detour to Rafael's office because Alex could be working right now. But as they get there, the harried and wide-eyed secretary bumbles through an explanation before calling Rafael down. 

Rafael quietly says, "He's not in today. He's been running himself dry, so I forced him to take a day off."

Which only serves to make Henry worry even more.

Rafael gives Henry a concerned filled look. And he probably has seen the story, or at least heard about it by now. But he doesn't bring it up before Henry is off on his way. 

Henry doesn't have to open his mouth before Shaan is driving them towards the apartment Alex has in the city. And once they're outside the building it all feels daunting. 

When he let's himself into the apartment, the first thing he sees is Alex's bag and jacket thrown on the entrance way floor. He walks further in, walking into the living room where he sees what can only be described as chaos. A few boxes are sat around the room, the coffee table is pushed to one side of the room. There's papers and files spread all over the place, covering a good majority of the floor's surface. 

And right in the center of it all is Alex, chewing on his pen as he stares at the file in his lap. He looks like an absolute rumpled mess, as if he hasn't slept in days, and the sight makes Henry's heart break and fill with worry.

"Alex," he calls out, but he doesn't get an answer or even any response. "Alex," he repeats, louder this time while walking closer and still nothing. And now that he's closer he notices that Alex's hands are shaking.

Henry is standing two strides away from Alex now and Alex still has yet to acknowledge his presence as he stares blankly down at the paper. 

"Alexander," he says.

That startles Alex out of his stupor, he blinks fast and owlishly as he looks up at Henry. The sight causing his heart to break just a bit more, he can see that his eyes are bloodshot and the bags beneath his eyes seem more pronounce. 

"Henry, what..." Alex pauses, clears his throat, his voice sounding rough from disuse. "Why are you here?"

Henry closes the distance, kneeling in front of Alex as he takes the file out of his shaky hands. "You weren't answering your calls," he says softly. 

Alex looks confused for a moment before looking around. "Fuck, I don't even know where I left it," he mumbles starting to move and shuffle the papers around. 

"Alex," Henry says, placing his hands on Alex's shoulders to still him. "What is all this? What's going on?"

It takes Alex a moment to refocus as he let's himself be pushed back to sitting down. "Some of it is case files. The rest is research," he explains, yawning before shaking his head. "I've been researching a way to..." he trails off slightly. 

"Christ." Henry lets out a shaky breath, as he whispers, "Alex, are you alright?"

"I..." Alex starts, shaking his head again and he reaches up to rub his face. "I've been going over every option, trying to find the loopholes and the right words to make it happen."

Henry frowns, unsure of where this is going, it seems like Alex hadn't even heard his question. 

Alex sighs heavily, looking far more exhausted than Henry has ever seen him. The very sight chips away at his heart.

"I... I had Nora run the numbers. More than once on every single option and the outcomes. Every single time, it just... Ugh, I've gone over it so many times, every option, every word, right down to the letter, over and over and over again... Just to see if there was some way around it, if there was something different. If..." He trails off with a slight groan, reaching up to run a hand through his hair.

Alex's voice sounds like it's breaking and he looks so helpless. And it makes Henry's heart break into a million pieces beyond repair, it hurts seeing him this way.

"I just... Every time, every single fucking time, it ends up the same way. There's no way it works. And I haven't even touched on how this affects you, like there's no way Parliament or the rest of England is cool with their Prince being hitched to a US politician. Even if they like us. I just..." Alex continues, it looks like he might start crying any second now. "It won't work. I-I lose you, you lose me, and I just can't. I can't..."

Henry shakes his head, immediately reaching out to grab Alex's hands into his own. "You won't," he says, and he's surprised by just how steady his own voice sounds. "You won't lose me. I'm not going anywhere. We'll figure it out together, remember?"

Alex looks up at him, looking torn, "Henry, I-Maybe you were right, we should reconsider-"

"No," he says firmly, "listen to me. You see this?" he asks, letting go of one of Alex's hands to reach for the chain, he lifts up the engagement ring. "There's absolutely nothing in the world that I want more than to be your husband. I'm not going anywhere."

There's a moment of silence as Alex stares at the ring. He swallows hard, closing his eyes slightly, and just breathes. "A politician and a royal just. It just..." he starts to say but stops himself, his eyes snapping open. He looks almost horrified.

It makes Henry's heart stop for a moment, he can guess just what Alex must've been about to say. And it's something that's crossed his own mind multiple times since this discussion began months ago. 

An American politician and a British royal just doesn't work out. It was never really going to work in the long run.

He let's out a sharp breath, moving so he's sitting down instead of kneeling. "There's one option we haven't discussed yet," he says slowly. 

Alex gives him a look, the confusion is clear on his face. "No, we talked about all of them. I've been over every option. I know-"

"Alex," Henry says, cutting what might have inevitably been a long rambling rant. "Alex, this is an option that we haven't discussed. But uh, I... I talked it over with mum, Phillip, and Bea."

Alex is frowning now, brows furrowed as he seems to think over Henry's words. "Baby. What the actual fuck are you talking about?"

Henry takes a deep breath, glancing down at their still connected hands for a brief moment before meeting Alex's gaze again. "You want to be a Senator and you can't do that if you're connected to royalty, so.... I've discussed the possibility of renouncing my title," he says, "That way there won't be any way you wouldn't be able to run."

There's a long pause of silence as he watches as Alex's confusion clears and the understanding settles in completely. 

"No," Alex says, shaking his head slowly, "No. Absolutely fucking not. I'm... I can't ask you to do that."

"You don't have to ask, I'm offering, Alex," he says, voice firm and steady. "I want to, if it means you'll get to achieve your dreams. Then I'm more than willing to do it."

"Henry..." he says weakly, "I can't. I won't, that's. That's your family. You can't just... Not for me."

Henry pulls Alex's hand up to his lips, pressing a kiss to his palm, and offers a small smile. "Alex, if I'm completely honest, there isn't much that I wouldn't do for you."

Alex takes in a sharp breath, shakes his head as he removes his hands from Henry's. 

The absence makes Henry worry. But the worry lasts for a split second before Alex's hands are pressed onto either side of his face.

"Henry, baby, you beautiful stupid fucking idiot," he says, voice watery before surging forward and kissing him deeply. 

The kiss doesn't last long before Alex pulls away and leans his forehead against Henry's. They stay like that for several moments, the silence heavy and feeling like it's gone on forever. 

Alex sighs, leaning away and sitting down on the floor. His hand goes to his chain, grasping the engagement ring. "Don't do it," he says finally, "I... I don't want you to give up that part of yourself. Or any part. Not for me."

"I wouldn't mind, if it means-"

"Don't," he says, sounding more steady and sure since they've started this conversation. "Just... Don't. This," he says gesturing between them, "is what matters. Not my career plans."

"But it's your dream, you want this more than anything," Henry replies. 

Alex reaches for his hand and squeezes it. "No, you're so fucking wrong. I want you and I want to be your husband more than I ever wanted to be Senator," he says with a sincerity that cuts to Henry's bones. "I don't want to be in politics if it means you have to give up a big part of you. I know you said you don't mind, but I... I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

Henry freezes, thinks over the words a few times until they make sense. He exhales softly, "are you sure?"

Alex nods firmly, "Absolutely. It doesn't matter what happens as long as I have you. You and me together is far more important than whether I ever see a day in office. I love you, I love you so much, Henry."

Alex kisses his face, he isn't sure if he was trying to kiss him properly but he ends up kissing near the corner of his lip. "So fucking much," he whispers.

"I love you too." Henry replies, reaching forward to touch Alex's face, "But are you sure? You... Er. Politics is what you wanted to do, what..." he trails off, unsure how to ask. 

"Us, that's what really matters in the end. No matter what," he answers, leaning into the touch and reaching his hand up to cover Henry's. "I... Honestly, I don't know. I wanted to get into politics to help people mostly. I just-" he cuts himself off and abruptly sits up. 

After a moment, he laughs and shakes his head. The laughter bubbling through him entirely until he's shaking from it. He leans forward letting his forehead rest against Henry's shoulder.

"What's so funny?" Henry asks, feeling concerned at the sudden switch. He wonders how long it's been since Alex last slept and if he's finally lost it. 

It takes several moments as Alex seems to try to calm his laughter, only to burst into more laughter all over again. Eventually he says, "I don't- Its not even actually funny. I'm... Fuck."

Henry gently pats his back, still feeling completely lost as to what's going on in Alex's mind. "Alright. Maybe we should get you to bed," he offers gently, "We can talk more after you've finally slept, love."

Alex shakes his head, or as much as he can with his head pressed against Henry, he moves away still shaking with laughter. But it's subsided to giggles as he takes off his glasses to wipe away the tears in his eyes. 

"God, I'm so tired. But I just. I just remembered that June said... She told me once that maybe I should find a new dream," he begins to explain, still giggly, "when she confronted me about us. And she's... God, maybe she was right. I should find a new dream or new way to accomplish it. I'm... Just yeah."

Henry laughs, mostly because he isn't sure what else to do, "Well, June is incredibly smart. You should've listened to her sooner."

"Shut the fuck up," Alex says, laughter clear in his voice. "I just... I decided I wanted to be in politics back in high school. When everything seemed so crazy it was the stable decision, the easy one to make. But..."

"But...?" Henry urges gently when Alex goes quiet for a long moment.

"I never faltered, I..." He huffs amusedly, shaking his head slightly, "Acted like a fire was burning under my ass. Like I always do. I never even given thought to what I'd do if politics didn't work. But maybe... Maybe I should rethink it."

"Things change, plans change, it's only normal. It's not always the end of the world because you didn't stick with your original plan," Henry says, moving so he's sitting beside Alex. The two sitting with their backs against the couch. 

Alex exhales, letting his head fall on Henry's shoulder. "I never planned on you, that's for damn sure," he mutters.

"Neither did I," Henry says, a smile finding it's way onto his face. He moves his head to rest against Alex's. "But I wouldn't change it for anything in the world."

Alex hums softly. "Me too. Not at all," he whispers back. 

Henry reaches down to hold Alex's hand in his own, fiddling with Alex's fingers gently as they fall into a comfortable silence. "I suppose it's time for you to find a new dream," he says, "isn't it?"

Alex hums again, pressing his face into Henry's shoulder. He's shaking slightly, and says, laughter barely contained, "You're my new dream."

It takes a split second for the words to settle in as he bursts out into laughter. "Did you seriously just quote Tangled at me?" 

"Shut up," Alex says wrapping his arms around Henry's waist and laughing softly. "It's relevant and true. And I'm very tired, leave me alone."

"You're an absolute dork," Henry says, turning to press a kiss into Alex's mess of curls. 

Alex snorts, "An absolute dork that you want to marry, so who's the real dork, hm? Check mate, baby."

Henry laughs shaking his head, as he rests his arm around Alex. "Okay, I'll let you have this round. Now let's get you to bed," he says.

"No," Alex mumbles, "I don't wanna move. It's too far."

Henry sighs. "Alright, well, at least let's... Let's move you to couch. Okay, love?"

Alex heaves out a sigh as he loosens his grip, moving away. He rubs at his eyes, letting out another yawn. 

The sight causes Henry's heart to ache in a much different way than it had earlier. He moves to get up and reaches out his hands to help Alex stand. He moves them to the couch, him sitting and Alex lays with his head on Henry's lap. 

Alex looks up at Henry, a small smile crossing his face. "Te amo," he mumbles softly, letting his eyes close.

Henry smiles feeling relaxed as he reaches his hand to Alex's head, running his fingers through his curls earning a content hum. "I love you too, babe," he says.

Alex faintly smiles, offering another hum, with his eyes still closed. 

And there's still things to discuss but that's a discussion for later. Right now, he let's Alex sleep curled up beside him. 

Right now, he no longer worries about the outcome of their future. All he knows is that it doesn't matter what the future holds because as long as they have each other that'll be enough.

It'll always be more than enough.