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Woohyun sighs contently, leaning against the wooden balustrade of the small beach house they’d rented for their holiday, his eyes solely focused on his three children running amuck on the private patch of beach that had come with their rent. He watches their shadows dance around the sand due to the orange sheen from the sunset. A small smile finds its way onto his face, watching his kids act like kids for once and have fun; Daein and Jimin passing a ball between each other and Myungin running ‘away’ from the helium balloon he got Sunggyu to tie to his t-shirt tag earlier that day.
He hears the sliding glass door open and close behind him, the creak of the wooden decking as someone walks slowly over to stand next to him. Sunggyu’s shoulder bumps his and a mug is pushed slightly into his field of vision. “Here, I made hot chocolate.” Sunggyu says, his voice soft and calming – perfect for the afternoon atmosphere.
Woohyun raises an eyebrow at his ex-husband, “Its summer?” he says but not refusing the drink, taking it from Sunggyu’s outstretched hand and holding it in his own, the ceramic warm to the touch.
Sunggyu rolls his eyes and bumps shoulders with his ex-partner. “So what? Its too late for coffee and you have a sweet tooth – I even gave you marshmallows!”
“Are these the ones we found in the cupboard?” the composer asks suspiciously. Not trusting the white sugary treats dissolving in his warm drink.
The freelancer is hesitant to answer, choosing to be vague about how he had used the provided marshmallows already in the kitchen and he knows they’re safe but he’s not just going to announce he just shoved his face with all the pink ones in the packet. “…maybe…”
“Yah!” Woohyun hits Sunggyu’s shoulder lightly. “Are you trying to poison me!” he accuses with a laugh, knowing full well Sunggyu would never do such a thing.
“Am not! They were unopened and expire in December! Its only July!” Sunggyu whines, defending himself. He pouts at his laughing ex-partner, loving the glow the setting sun casts on Woohyun, highlighting every sharp angle of his face, despite both of them having aged substantially in their time apart – Sunggyu can’t help but think, Woohyun looks so young, so happy, so handsome. And the words leave his mouth before he can even think.
“I miss you.” Sunggyu blurts out and doesn’t regret it one bit.
Woohyun calms down and replies genuinely. “I miss you too.”
The elder’s heart pains at the response and god does he miss him. “Woohyun… please, can we just…” talk.
“We- I- Sunggyu.”
The freelancer needs to get it out there. “I miss you so much, Woohyun. The kids miss having you around – they need both of us, and if Myungin’s tantrum that lead to this trip isn’t enough for you to realise that they need us both, that they need two parents. Then I don’t know what can convince you.” ‘Please talk to me.’
Woohyun swallows. “We were fighting- all the time.” His voice breaks remember the months leading up to their separation – hours of whisper yelling that sometimes would spiral to the point where Sunggyu’s sister was called and the kids spent the night there – to not be exposed to an environment Woohyun himself spent so much of his childhood in.
“We were going through a rough patch that I thought we were clearing up but then one night after we’d put the kids to sleep, you’re sliding divorce papers across the table with your signature already in ink… asking for mine…” Sunggyu explains his view of what happened, how things played out on his side, how he saw everything.
“…I didn’t want to do that, I really didn’t because fuck, I loved you so much and still do love you so much. I just- I didn’t know what to do, I thought it was the only thing we could do.” Woohyun clarifies, his chest is aching with a choice he regrets so much but felt right at the time.
“You could have spoken to me. I would have listened and I’ll still listen now because I love you as well, Woohyun.” He pauses before continuing. “On our wedding day, I promised to listen, to respect, and to love you, forever; and as far as I’m concerned, I haven’t broken my vows yet.” He reaches over, covering Woohyun’s hand with his own and squeezing. “Talk to me now, I’m right here.”
Woohyun exhales, calming his beating heart before finally telling his ex-husband why. “You know how my Dad was before Mum left him, how he drank and then it escalated to hitting us… that all started because he and Mum stated arguing… and when we started fighting all I could think was ‘I’m turning into my Dad, I’m going to start drinking and I’m going to hurt you one day’.” He gulps and intertwines his fingers with the elder’s. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry… I used a divorce as a way to run away… to not, turn into my Dad… because you don’t deserve that, the kids don’t deserve that.”
Sunggyu’s heart breaks for a second time but for a completely different reason. “You’re nothing like your Dad, Woohyun. You’re so far from that type of person. He was a horrible Father and Husband. You are nothing like him; you’ve never had alcohol ever, you’ve never gotten or even given me any inkling you could’ve been violent with the kids or with me.” Sunggyu kisses the back of Woohyun’s hand. “You are an amazing Father and you were a great husband, and you’re also an ex-husband I wish wasn’t an ex.”
“I don’t deserve you.” Woohyun whispers and tries to remove his hand from Sunggyu’s, only for the elder to tighten his grip.
Sunggyu shakes his head repeatedly, “Don’t say that. I get to decide who I’m with, who I love and I love you, I married you, I chose to have kids with you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” He leans into Woohyun’s shoulder, “please come back to me, if not for me, for Daein, Myungin and Jimin. Please, Woohyun. Give us another chance.”
The composer places his mug on the balustrade and turns cupping Sunggyu’s face and kissing him. Kissing him for the first time in six years. Kissing him, just kissing him. Sunggyu’s lips are warm and soft and so, so real.
He pulls back and holds eye contact with the elder, “I’m thinking a date in February.”
Sunggyu raises an eyebrow, “That’s too close to your birthday – I like the idea of a January wedding.”
“Keeping the ‘J’ theme are we? June ninth and what January ninth this time?” Woohyun teases, leaning his forehead against Sunggyu’s and kissing his nose.
The elder’s cheeks redden, not used to the subtle display of affection. “What about the eighth?”
“Sounds like the perfect date.” Woohyun whispers and pulls Sunggyu into another kiss, he can feel Sunggyu’s smile and Woohyun knows he, himself is smiling too.
Extra
“Ew! Dadda and Appa are kissing!” Myungin shouts to his siblings after catching sight of his parents touching lips.
Jimin looks to the deck and scrunches up her face in disgust. “Ewy! Don’t they know cooties are things?!”
Unlike his younger siblings, Daein is ecstatic, his smile is wide and he’s so, so happy. Maybe just maybe, they’ll be a whole family again. Maybe just maybe, things will return to how they were when he was younger. Maybe just maybe he’ll get his happy Appa and happy Dad back.
He can’t stop himself from sprinting to the beach house, jumping up the stairs and slamming into his parents, wrapping his arms around both of their waists and forcing them apart.
Woohyun stumbles slightly and places an arm around Daein, “Woah kiddo. Watch out.” He laughs lightly, wondering what’s up with his son.
“Are we going to be a family again? A whole family?” his eyes are squeezed shut and his face is hidden in Sunggyu’s neck but both the adults can hear the hope in their son’s voice.
They share a look, a small smile and Sunggyu runs his fingers through Daein’s hair, leaning down to kiss the top of his head. “Yeah, sweetheart. We’re going to be a whole family again.”
Woohyun rubs Daein’s shoulder, “All five of us.” He confirms.
“Thank you.” The teenager whispers.
Sunggyu’s heat aches. “We love you, sweetheart.”
“I love you guys too.” Daein is so happy, so, so happy.