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Ben has been thinking.
He’s been thinking a lot. About himself, about Klaus, about life and death and love and sex and fate. No two people in the world are intertwined the way Ben and Klaus are, overcoming the ultimate barrier of death just to…
…To what? Talk dirty?
Technically, yes, but that’s precisely what Ben has been contemplating. He knows there’s something else underneath it all, a foundation of something other than just lust.
Love and sex weren’t anything they had ever learned, even incidentally, while growing up. No loving parents, no exposure to risqué media, no benchmark for what a normal, average adolescent life was like.
It was years before Ben was even exposed kissing. It had been a couple on one of the benches across the street from the Academy, and the sighting had been quite accidental. He’d noticed them while propped up on the sill of the window with his book. A man and a woman with their mouths pressed together; they must have stayed like that for three or four minutes at least. Ben’s heart had been pounding, not quite knowing what was happening but knowing that it was good.
Of course, when the children were young, Grace would kiss them all goodnight, but that was a peck on the cheek and this was… not.
Klaus was certainly the first of the siblings to burst out of this bubble of isolation when he discovered drugs. Sex followed closely after that, and he spread his newly garnered information throughout the mansion like a contagion.
Ben was especially intrigued by the biology behind reproduction and started looking into that, while Klaus furthered his knowledge through a more… direct approach. Ben vividly remembers Klaus clambering up the fire escape and tumbling through the window to his bedroom at four in the morning. It had triggered something Ben now realizes might have been jealousy.
But despite all that, Ben had never really wanted to have sex. Even in death, he’s well aware that he could easily touch, or kiss another ghost, but there’s always something holding him back. Something that gives him pause. Something that saps all his confidence before he can take any action.
…And he’s kidding himself if he thinks that thing is anything other than Klaus.
Ben wouldn’t necessarily describe his feelings for Klaus as a deterrent, but they’ve certainly acted as something of a compass for decision-making from time to time.
He just doesn’t have the same pull to anyone else as he does to Klaus. Maybe it’s because his feelings for Klaus were there before he’d died, and the potential to forge new connections died along with him. Maybe it’s because he’s been by his side so long it would feel like betrayal. Maybe it’s nothing any deeper than Ben being hopelessly in love and not wanting to move on.
But this is not a simple topic to bring up; it’s not as easy as dropping in a well-timed, “I love you.” Klaus knows Ben loves him, he used to tell him after every session in the mausoleum, and before especially daunting missions. As they grew older, it started to feel awkward to say aloud, but Klaus still knew.
And besides, after so long together, Ben feels like even love is too fragile and primitive a term to articulate their relationship.
He’s been bracing for this conversation like an incoming earthquake, with no idea when it’s likely to strike, but in the meantime, he’s trying to focus on Klaus’ sobriety.
Klaus seems to have some real intentions of getting clean lately, but the motivation is lacking.
Ben figures he’s got motivation to spare, so he’s trying to convince Klaus to get sober with… less conventional methods. He’s been waiting to make his proposal until Klaus is in the low before his next fix, which looks to be right about…
…Now.
Klaus is sprawled across two cushions on his bedroom floor, shirtless and grumbling.
Ben lowers himself into the leather seat against the wall and clears his throat.
“Hey, Klaus… I have an idea. Something you could try instead of the drugs.”
Klaus drags himself upright and runs a hand through his hair.
“Sorry, Ben, kombucha isn’t really my thing.”
He pulls out a rolling paper and Ben purses his lips.
“No, I’m not trying to give you an alternative to drugs—well, I guess I am, but—”
“Shh, shh, shh, shh.” Klaus holds a finger up to his own lips. “If the powers that be didn’t want me getting high, they would’ve given me a nice, happy, smiley power. Like summoning kittens instead of damned souls.” He holds a placating hand out to Ben. “No offence; I’m sure you would’ve gone to heaven.” He reaches up into the pocket of the jacket slung over a nearby chair and grabs his baggy of mix.
“Uh, thanks,” Ben mutters. “But seriously, I think my offer beats toking up and contemplating life.”
Klaus snorts but doesn’t look up from where he’s assembling his joint.
“I quite enjoy contemplating my life, thank you. There’s a lot worth contemplating. Ever since dear mama gave birth to me.” Klaus fishes around for his lighter. “You know, she was dutifully protesting the unjust division of our country caused by the Berlin Wall when I was born.”
Ben narrows his eyes. “What? No, she wasn’t. You literally just made that up.”
Klaus scowls up at him, pinching the unlit joint between his lips. “You don’t know that.”
“Klaus,” Ben sighs, changing tactics slightly, “I have a present for you.”
He sits up a little straighter. “Oh? Pour moi? Why didn’t you say so? What is it?” He drops his lighter and leans forward like a child anticipating a new puppy.
Ben spreads his legs, slowly and deliberately, and Klaus gets the message loud and clear.
“I already like this present,” he breathes.
“You have to put that down, first,” Ben murmurs, nodding at the joint.
Klaus whips it out of his mouth and tosses it behind him so quickly it’s almost comical.
Ben smiles. “Come here.”
Klaus scrambles across the floor to sit at his feet.
“…When we were kids,” Ben starts, “you always knew more than me.”
Klaus narrows his eyes. “Are you… Is that a joke? Ben, you’d read every book in the house three times. Do you want me to go find our grades from Pogo’s classes, because—”
“No,” Ben sighs. “You knew more about life. About how to live. What went on outside the Academy.”
Klaus settles back. “Oh.”
Ben can tell Klaus is confused; this conversation didn’t take the route he was expecting.
“Well, I don’t know if I’d call my lifestyle living, per se. More like a slow and blissful stagger towards death.”
Ben can certainly attest to how true that is, but it’s not the point he’s trying to make right now.
“I miss being young with you,” he says.
Klaus’ face softens. “Aw, Benny. I’m gonna get all soft and mushy.”
Ben tilts his head. That’s not where he wants this to go either. He drums his fingers against his leg and thinks for a moment.
“Remember the first time you brought home a dirty magazine?”
Klaus chuckles. “Yeah, you turned bright red and popped a boner when you saw a model in lingerie. It was adorable.”
Ben keeps from rolling his eyes when he realizes he can use that as an entry route.
“Yes… right. Right. I got a boner and now…” He swallows. “Now I don’t know what to do with it. Can you show me, Klaus?” Ben chews on his bottom lip and blinks innocently.
Klaus’ mouth falls open slightly. “…I—sure, Ben,” he replies.
Ben nods and draws his shoulders up to look more timid.
“Thanks, Klaus. I just… Dad told me he knows about what we did during our training session last week. He won’t find out about this, will he?”
Klaus’ jaw drops a little further before snapping shut, and he finally seems to realize what Ben’s trying to do.
“Holy shit,” he hisses between gritted teeth, digging the heels of his hands into his thighs. “Uh, no. No, he won’t find out, I promise.” His voice is a choked murmur. “I pinky promise, Ben.” Klaus’ brows furrow and he starts rocking gently on his knees.
Ben can already spy a slight bulge between Klaus’ legs.
“What, uh… What was it we did in our training session again?”
Ben looks down into his lap. “You pushed me into the sparring room and… and kissed me. Then you whispered things into my ear. Klaus, it was… so dirty. It made me blush.”
Klaus swallows. “That’s right. I was telling you that I wanted to lay you out on my bed and kiss you all over.” He sits up and braces his hands on the arms of the chair, either side of Ben’s waist. “I’d start with your cheeks. Your sweet, soft, round cheeks, all pink and hot under my lips with that blush. Then I’d kiss your nose, so gently you could hardly feel it, and move down to your lips. Those plump, perfect little lips, and God, Ben, you taste like… innocence.”
Ben shuts his eyes and lets Klaus’ fantasy wash over him. There’s something almost obscene about Klaus speaking to him so mildly, envisioning him as a helpless, ignorant child who doesn’t know up from down when it comes to sex, and Ben loves it.
Klaus pushes on. “All summery and sweet. I’ll kiss along your jaw and down your neck, maybe leaving a little bruise so dad really has something to bitch about.”
When Ben opens his eyes, Klaus’ hands are creeping up the arms of the recliner. His face inches closer to Ben’s with dark, teasing eyes.
“Then your chest,” he purrs, gaze slipping down Ben’s body. “You’ve never been touched before, have you? If I just… sucked on a nipple, flicked my tongue over it a little, you would absolutely lose it, you know that? Those pink, hard little nipples pressing up into my hot mouth.”
What’s getting to Ben the most is how true it all is. If Klaus could ever get his hands on him, Ben would be a puddle at his feet within minutes, aching to be touched more, harder, closer.
Klaus licks his lips and purrs, “Then I’ll move a little further, down to your waist, and press kisses to your hipbones. And that little dip…” He leans back and slides his hands very delicately over his own hipbones then inwards, towards his belly button. “The slope, that ticklish spot, I’ll kiss you there, too. By then, you’ll be so hard, and those perfect lips will be begging for me so nicely.” Klaus traces a finger up over his own lips then gently kisses the pad of it. “God, I can just imagine the sounds you’d make, all needy and hot.”
Ben moans low in his throat and curls his hands around his knees.
“Shit, just like that,” Klaus breathes. “I want you to make those sounds for me when I touch myself, okay?”
Ben nods.
Klaus chuckles. “You’re so eager for me to do it, aren’t you? I can feel you aching for it.” Klaus drops his voice. “And what kind of brother would I be if I kept that from you?” His lips twist into a deceptively innocent smile. “So… You want your big brother to show you how to get rid of that distractingly hard, throbbing cock of yours?”
Ben chews on the inside of his cheek and nods tightly. “Mhm.”
Klaus looks between Ben’s eyes. “I can do that, Benny,” he whispers. “First, I want you to climb into bed, okay?”
“Okay,” Ben breathes.
“Now,” Klaus holds eye contact while he lowers one hand to the front of his pants, “press your hand against your cock through your pants. Keep your palm nice and flat and grind your hips up like this.”
Klaus curls up slowly against his palm and lets out a long breath that trails off into a hiss.
“Yeah,” he groans. “Now… curve your hand around yourself and… stroke.”
He mimics his own actions, holding the outline of his cock and rubbing up and down. A blush colours the tips of his ears and he presses down a little harder.
Ben spends a moment just listening to him breathe, panting with every exhale, before responding. “It’s good, Klaus. What do I do next?”
Klaus swallows and looks up at Ben from under his lashes. “Next, I want you to slip your hand into your underwear…”
Klaus wiggles his hips, pushing his pants and briefs down over his ass. He’s already so hard and Ben scoots forward eagerly in his seat to get a better view.
“…and wrap your hand around it.” Klaus takes his flushed cock in his hand. “Then, just… like this,” he whimpers, dragging his fist up to the head and back. “Nice and slow. I want you to squeeze—ah!” Klaus tightens his fist around the head and his thighs quiver faintly. “It feels good, I promise,” he says in one quick breath.
Ben chews on his lower lip. “…Yeah? Feels really good?”
Klaus looks down and furrows his eyebrows, nodding. He braces his hand on the chair between Ben’s legs.
“Can you moan for me?” he asks.
Ben spreads his legs a little wider and leans forward until they’re nearly cheek to cheek.
“…Klaus,” he breathes, “Ahh—ah! Yeah—” He pitches his voice up and lets the whiny undertone float to the front until the sounds coming from his mouth are downright desperate. “Yes, yes, yes, Klaus, please,” he moans.
Klaus growls. He tilts his head back and rolls his hips up into his hand. “You gonna touch yourself at night and think about me?”
Ben nods. “I will.”
“Yeah? Good boy,” Klaus grunts, working himself faster. “Because I think about you all the time. All the fucking time, Ben. In class, during training, over dinner. I can’t stop thinking about how much I want to touch you,” Klaus drops to a whimper.
He sits back up on his knees and reaches out towards Ben, fingers slipping through his knee.
“I want to hold you in my arms,” he whispers. “I want to feel that warm flush rushing up your spine—you get so pink when you blush, baby.”
Ben groans. He’s not even watching Klaus’ hand on his cock anymore, he’s too preoccupied with the brilliant fervour in his eyes.
“You like when I call you ‘baby’?” Klaus whines and Ben nods, throat working to swallow. “S’only you, you know that?” he gasps, chest heaving. “You’re my baby, my good boy. You’re so sweet and beautiful, I—” Klaus breaks off and leans back onto his free hand. “God, Ben, I love you. So much. You know that, baby.”
“Klaus—” Ben breathes, hands squeezing tighter around his knees.
Klaus’ thighs go taut, bouncing him up into his fist as he climbs higher.
“I want to be your first, Ben. Your first everything. Your first kiss, first fuck, first… adventure.”
His expression is so earnest and full of warmth and Ben feels it like a punch in the gut.
“Yes, Klaus, please. I love you so much, I don’t even know how to say it,” Ben whimpers. “I’m so glad I never lost you.”
Klaus bites his lip and groans. He moves quicker, twisting over the head of his cock and working pre-come across the shaft until it’s slick.
Klaus starts babbling, “I’m close, I’m so close, I’m—”
He reaches up to cup where Ben’s cheek would be and—
Everything around Ben suddenly seems to both slow to a crawl, and pass in a blink.
Klaus’ fingers brush his skin.
He can feel it as clearly as he can see Klaus, and in that split-second of contact, life rushes through him. His heart beats, his cheeks flare, his cock stirs.
Klaus clearly feels it too, jerking back like he’s been burned. His hand pulls away from his cock and his eyes widen only to squeeze shut with the force of the orgasm that’s too far along to suppress.
“Oh, fuck, shit, fuck, Ben—” Klaus chokes.
He comes onto his thighs, cock jolting with each spurt and brushing up against his abdomen. His hands are shaking at his sides, wrapped tightly into fists.
Ben thinks he’s shaking too. It was a sensory overload, like the final surge of energy his body gave just before he’d died.
He watches as Klaus comes down, quivering and panting, and they make eye contact. A long moment passes where both of them seem incapable of devising a coherent thought.
“…You’re not high,” Ben eventually murmurs, answering what he’s almost certain Klaus is wondering. He lifts a hand to his cheek, prodding gently at the point of contact.
“Are you sure?” Klaus whispers. “Because I really kind of feel like I’m tripping.”
He lifts his hand up toward Ben’s knee but hesitates before he can make contact.
Ben is watching, of course he’s watching, and he’s hoping.
Klaus stretches out his fingers to touch Ben’s leg, and…
…They go straight through.
Disappointment bites in Ben’s stomach. He looks from Klaus’ hand up to his face. “…Try again.”
Klaus nods and shakes his hand out to stop it from trembling. A little crease appears between his eyebrows as he focusses. He extends one finger towards Ben’s chest, letting out a careful breath.
Once again, Ben’s body shimmers and distorts and Klaus’ finger slides through without resistance.
Klaus drops his hand with a huff. “Of course. Of course! The universe is such a colossal tease.”
Ben, still in awe, shakes his head. “Klaus, you touched me. That… that’s incredible. I… felt things.”
Klaus frowns. “Felt things?” he asks, uncertain. “You want to expand on that?”
Ben looks down at himself. “My heart… It was beating. Klaus, I… I started getting hard.”
Klaus is silent for a long moment. He drags his gaze down and back up Ben’s body, then a wicked grin spreads across his face.
“…Cue the practice montage, baby.”