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He hadn’t meant to actually press play.
It had started as pure morbid curiosity to see if it was really him, really Timmy who had been the most recent victim of the huge sex tape leak that had been rocking Hollywood for the past 6 months.
Every week an anonymous, and unfortunately untraceable, account would release a new video and make another celeb the unfortunate recipient of a bunch of unwanted attention. He hadn’t officially heard who it was this time, but earlier this afternoon, Armie had gotten a rather desperate and disturbing call from Timmy’s best friend Will trying to get ahold of Timmy because he’d been MIA for a week and he really needed to speak with him. When Armie had asked what was going on, Will hesitated, but when Armie brought out his overprotective big brother “tell me what’s going on right now” voice, Will finally relented and told him about the newest tape leak.
Armie had scoffed at first, saying there’s no way Timmy would be reckless enough to make a sex tape in the first place. He was far too reserved for that, plus he was well aware of how risky it would be if it fell into the wrong hands, especially with all the leaks happening lately. But Will had insisted that it was him, and that he wasn’t even sure if Timmy knew about it because he’d been off the grid for a role when it dropped. Armie still wasn’t entirely convinced, but he assured Will that he’d try to get ahold of him and would let him know as soon as he did.
Of course, when he’d tried calling Timmy himself, it had gone straight to voicemail, and all of his texts went unanswered as well. He tried like hell to make his mind stop imagining what a sex tape with Timmy would look like by reading over the pile of scripts that his agent had been hounding him about for weeks, but after several hours of not comprehending one word of what he was reading, he finally gave up.
Which is how he finds himself currently sitting on his bed with his back against his headboard, computer in his lap as he chews his lip nervously as he considers what he’s about to do. The only light in the room comes from the soft glow of his screen. He know he shouldn’t, but he has to know.
He pulls up the site that’s been posting the leaked videos and locates the latest uploaded file. Armie clicks on the link and inhales sharply as he sees the still frame from the video fill his screen. It doesn’t show the person’s face, the camera angled so it only shows from the person’s mid-chest down, but it doesn’t matter. He’d recognize that tiny mole on his inner thigh anywhere.
This should be the only confirmation he needs. He should close out the site and just wait until Timmy is ready to come to him to talk about it, if he ever does. He knows that’s what he should do. And yet.
He knows it’s wrong, knows it makes him a horrible person and even worse friend, but he cannot stop the burning desire to push play and actually watch it. From what he can tell from the picture, it’s just Timmy alone in the video, probably a jerk off session that he planned to send to a long-distance partner or something. It’s not like he hasn’t seen Timmy in all his glory before, anyway. And they talk about their sex lives all the time, so it’s not like this would be that much of a breach of privacy for them. This would just be an extra level of the same sort of intimacy they’ve shared with each other for the past few years. And besides, Timmy would never have to know he actually watched it.
He worries his lip between his teeth for another few seconds before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, his finger hovering over the mousepad. If anyone ever asked him about it later, he’d staunchly deny it, but if he were being honest with himself, he knew his reasons for wanting to see the video were not solely out of curiosity. The attraction he’d felt toward Timmy had been immediate when they’d met, but he’d managed to keep it under control and maintain an intensely close friendship with him that was only painful and frustrating in the times when he was drunk, lonely, and horny. Much like he is right now. So he decides he’s allowed this one thing, because he knows it’s all he’ll ever get.
Before his guilt can talk him out of it, he clicks play and is immediately greeted by the sensual movement of Timmy’s naked lower half as he scoots back to sit comfortably on the edge of a bed, spreading his smooth, thin legs wide so the camera can get an unobscured shot of his impressive cock as he brings a hand up to grip the base. He’s already hard, a trickle of precum oozing from the tip as Timmy’s hand slowly slides from the base up the length of the shaft and back down.
Armie swallows thickly, can already feel the stirrings in his own cock as he watches the image of Timmy slowly stroking himself from his computer screen in rapt wonder. He can feel his self-control slowly slipping away with each slide of Timmy’s hand, and when he hears Timmy gasp and let out a tiny whimper as he twists his hand on the upstroke, he loses the fight completely as his right hand dips into his sweat pants and grips his throbbing cock in a tight fist. He lets out his own gasp as he pulls it out and begins stroking himself to the same rhythm as Timmy on his screen, gradually speeding up as they get more worked up, and soon both he and Timmy in the video are moaning and on the edge of their release.
Timmy’s happens first, his hips stuttering as he fucks hard into his fist, letting out a high-pitched whine followed by a low grunt, and then he’s shooting his load all over his stomach, chest and hand. The image of Timmy slumping back against the mattress, panting heavily as he runs his long, delicate fingers through his own come is too much for Armie. He feels his orgasm building fast and starts moving his hand furiously over himself.
Right as he’s on the edge of bliss, his phone starts buzzing on the bed next to him. He growls in frustration and plans to ignore it, too close to finishing to be interrupted now, but then his eyes focus on the screen long enough to see Timmy’s goofy smile from his contact pic pop up, and he almost chokes on his tongue. “Oh shit!” He scrambles to pause the video , the image of Timmy post-orgasm with come spread all over his torso staring back at him in condemnation.
He squeezes the base of his dick hard to get himself back under control and tries to catch his breath as he quickly reaches over and swipes the screen to answer the call. “Hey man, what’s going on?” His attempt to sound casual is belied by his voice pitching unnaturally high and the fact that he’s still half-panting as he speaks.
But Timmy doesn’t seem to even notice. “Armie! Thank God! I’m freaking out over here, man! I just checked my messages and I’m freaking out! What the fuck?! I don’t...I don’t understand how this happened! Why?! Armie, what am I going to do?!” He can hear Timmy spiraling and he feels a huge wave of guilt wash over him at what he was doing just 15 seconds ago. He rips his hand from his dick like he had been burned and tries to find a way to calm Tim down.
“Hey, hey, come on man. It’s going to be fine, ok? You’ve seen how many other people have had their tapes leak and aside from some trashy gossip, their careers are just fine. There’s no need to freak out.” His breathing is finally slowing to a more normal pace as he goes into “protect Timmy” mode.
He hears the shaky inhale of breath on the other end and knows Timmy doesn’t believe him. “Yeah but, man, you know how I feel about keeping my private life private. It just really fucking sucks and I don’t know how I’m going to face everyone now. That was a private moment and now everyone has seen it.” Armie hears the telltale quiver in his voice signaling that tears are right around the corner, and he can’t handle it.
“Hey no, listen. It’s really not that bad, Tim, I promise. I mean, you can’t even see your face and you don’t speak at all, so only the people who have seen you intimately like that will even know that it’s you for sure. Whoever uploaded it didn’t even name you outright. It could have been so much worse.”
He doesn’t even realize his mistake until he hears Timmy’s sharp intake of breath and then the several seconds of dead silence that stretch out between them. Fuck.
He knows it’s coming, can hear Timmy’s thought process even from half a world away. “Umm, Armie?” His voice is quiet and unsure, and Armie wants the ground to open up and swallow his whole. “How do you know all that?” Armie cringes, doesn’t know how to answer without incriminating himself, so he just stays quiet. “Did you...did you actually watch it?” There’s no accusation in his tone, more nervousness than anything, but Armie feels his words pierce straight through his heart anyway. He’s going to hell for being the worst “friend” in history.
He gulps, his mouth suddenly gone completely dry. He clears his throat quietly and finally manages to croak out an answer. “I um. Well. I mean. Yeah?” He stutters over his words, unable to lie but desperately wishing he could. He hates himself, hates that he’s making this even worse for Timmy than it already was.
There’s several more seconds of the most intensely awkward silence Armie has ever endured before he finally breaks. “Timmy? Oh god, please say something. I’m so sorry, ok? I didn’t mean to, it just…”
“Did...did you like it?” Timmy’s quiet voice cuts him off mid-apology and he stops dead. He must have heard Timmy wrong. Right?
He coughs awkwardly. “I uh...what?”
There’s a shuffling noise on the other end, like maybe Timmy is changing position or something. “I mean, you watched it, right? So like...did you, ya know, enjoy it?” Timmy’s voice is uncertain and shy, but there’s something underneath that Armie can’t quite pinpoint, and it unnerves him. If he didn’t know better, he’d almost think he was trying to be seductive. But of course that’s crazy.
He risks a glance down at his dick, which, despite this being the most unsexy scenario involving Timmy he could ever imagine, is still somehow miraculously rock hard as it juts out over the waist of his pants. His breath picks up speed again and he starts to panic slightly. “Um, Timmy. I don’t...I don’t know how to answer that.” It’s the truth, he’s totally at a loss with how this conversation has turned suddenly.
But Timmy just continues on, now sounding much calmer and more confident. “I mean, did you get excited? Seeing me like that? We’ve seen each other naked before, but not when we were hard. What did you think?” His tone has now definitely shifted into flirty and suggestive territory, and Armie’s mouth drops open in a stunned gape. His brain doesn’t seem to process what’s happening, just replays Timmy’s words over and over again in a loop without actually understanding the meaning behind them.
It takes him several seconds to collect himself enough to speak again. “Timmy, what the fuck are you doing?” It comes out harsher than he intends, but he’s quickly losing control of the situation and needs to get a handle on things before they get completely out of hand. He can handle Timmy being pissed at him, but this? He doesn’t even know what the fuck this is, let alone how to deal with it.
Timmy doesn’t seem bothered by his outburst, though. “Armie, come on, you watched a video of me jerking off. You can’t tell me you didn’t get even a little bit turned on by that, right? It’s ok, you can tell me. I won’t tell anyone. Promise.” His last word is a sensual whisper, and Armie’s brain almost explodes. Timmy’s teasing him, and Armie isn’t sure whether to be pissed or extremely turned on. His dick answers for him by twitching against his stomach, and he lets out an involuntary moan.
He hears Timmy chuckle darkly on the other end. “Oh my god, you’re turned on right now, aren’t you? Were you watching it just now? Before I called?”
His eyes flick to his computer screen, the video still paused on the image of Timmy’s come-soaked body. Armie’s cock starts leaking again, and he chokes back another moan. “Timmy…” It comes out a strangled plea, a warning that he’s close to completely losing it and Timmy shouldn’t keep poking him if he wasn’t prepared to deal with the consequences.
“Were you touching yourself? Getting yourself off while watching me doing the same? Fuck, Armie.” Now Timmy lets out a strangled sound and Armie can’t handle this.
“Ok enough, Timmy. This isn’t funny. I’m...I’m sorry, ok? I’m a terrible person, I get it. I don’t know what else you want from me here but please just stop.” He’s desperate and has half a mind to just hang up, but Timmy had called him for help and he wants to be there for him, just not like this.
“I never said it was funny.” The sudden shift in Timmy’s tone is dizzying. It goes from teasing to something much more serious and raw, almost needy. “I just never knew you thought about me like that. I...I’m glad.” Things take yet another turn when the shyness suddenly returns, and Armie can’t make heads or tails of any of this.
“Wait, what?! You’re glad I was touching myself while watching you? I don’t...Timmy, what the hell is this? Are you just fucking with me?”
“I’m not fucking with you, Armie. I’m dead serious. I’ve thought about you like that for a long time, but I never thought it was mutual. I’m really happy that it is.” He can hear the smile in Timmy’s voice at his confession and it simultaneously makes him melt and lights a fire in his belly.
His cock is aching between his legs, begging to be touched, to finish what he started earlier. “Fuuuuck, Timmy.” He breath hitches, his face flushing with heat as he lets the meaning of Timmy’s words sink in.
“It’s ok, Armie. You can touch yourself. I want you to. I want to hear how you sound when you come undone. I mean, it’s only fair, since you already know what I sound like.” Timmy chuckles and Armie bites his lip so hard he tastes blood. The teasing is back, and Armie can’t keep up with all the sudden twists in this crazy rollercoaster of a conversation. “Please, Armie, put your hand on that thick cock of yours. Stroke yourself for me, baby.”
Armie’s brain just gives up at that point and pure base instinct takes over. He makes a keening sound and wraps his fists around himself so tightly it actually hurts. “Fuck!” He loosens his grip enough so it feels good again, and he starts jacking himself in earnest, Timmy’s breathy pants coming in over the line making the process go even faster.
“Oh fuck yes, you sound so sexy, Armie. Christ, if I was there right now, I’d be on my knees in front of you, taking you in my mouth. Fuck, I want to taste your beautiful dick so bad.” Timmy moans, and Armie joins in with his own, so close to his orgasm now he can taste it.
“Oh fuck, Timmy, I’m so close. Shit, your voice is so hot. Mmmmmfff.” He closes his eyes and imagines Timmy on his knees, sucking him off. His balls draw up tight and he knows it’s only a matter of seconds know.
“Fuck yes, come for me, Armie.” The velvety smooth sound of Timmy’s voice commanding him to come is the last straw, and he hurdles over the edge with a strangled cry, come splashing onto his bare chest and dripping down his fingers as they continue to fly over his dick until he’s completely spent.
Timmy’s murmured “Fuck, you’re so amazing” only barely registers as he comes down from his high and struggles to catch his breath again. Once coherent thought returns, he smiles and sighs contentedly. “Jesus, Timmy, that was amazing. Thank you.”
He can hear Timmy’s answering smile in his voice, and it spreads warmth through his whole body. “The pleasure was all mine, I assure you.”
A surprised laugh bubbles out of Armie’s throat at that, and he can’t help how giddy he feels about all of this. This is not at all how he thought this day would end, but he’s incredibly happy this is how things turned out.
He yawns and starts scooting down the bed, ready to melt back into his pillow and settle in to drift off to sleep. But as he goes to close his laptop, his eyes catch on something in the video, a small detail of the room Timmy was in that he hadn’t noticed before, too busy focusing on...other things. But now that he has a better look at it, he immediately recognizes the flowery bedspread that Timmy is sitting on. It’s from his apartment in Crema, from back when they were filming.
He leans back up quickly, a sudden rush going through him when he thinks of why Timmy might have made that video during that time period. He knows Timmy hadn’t been dating anyone then - they’d talked extensively about their relationship history before filming even started, and Timmy had said he’d been “tragically single” for over a year at that point. So why would he…?
“Timmy?” He can’t keep the slight quiver out of his voice as he ventures to ask his question.
“Yeah, Armie?” Timmy’s voice is a gentle purr, satiated and calm.
“Did you film this while we were in Crema?”
The long stretch of silence that follows is answer enough, and now Timmy is the one who seems to have been caught out. “Why?” It’s not accusatory, just a whispered plea for answers.
“I um. I…”
He can feel Timmy’s anxiety skyrocket from across the thousands of miles that separate them. “Timmy, it’s ok, man. Calm down. I’m not upset or anything. I just need to know. Who was the video for?”
He hears Timmy let out a long breath. “No one, really. It was honestly just for me, to remember.”
“Remember what?” Armie’s heartbeat speeds back up again, but for an entirely different reason than before.
Timmy clears his throat. “Ok look, I filmed this the night after we shot the scene at the berm. I had gotten a little...excited after doing several takes of having to both kiss you and then grope you, and I needed a release. But I wanted to remember what it felt like, so...I filmed it.”
It’s Armie’s turns to let out a long breath, letting Timmy’s words sink in. “Oh.” He knows it’s the dumbest response imaginable in this circumstance, but it’s all he can come up with.
“No one was ever supposed to see it, I swear. It was just for me.”
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” His brain is trying to process all of this, but it’s been through a lot in the last few minutes and is having trouble wading through the onslaught of information being thrown at him in rapid succession.
Timmy snorts. “Dude, you were married, with one kid and another on the way. I wasn’t about to try and get in the middle of that.”
Armie nods in understanding, only belatedly realizing Timmy can’t actually see him. “Right.” He pauses, bites his lip for a few seconds before continuing. “And now?”
He hears Timmy take a deep breath. “And now...you’re not.”
“Yeah.” He breathes it, not knowing what else there is to say now. He’s not sure what all this is leading to, but he knows he doesn’t want it to end when he hangs up this phone call. “So...what now?”
Timmy hums into the receiver, can hear the smile break out on his face before he even speaks. “Well, I’m going to be in L.A. three days from now. In case you want to do this again, in person.” He can hear the hint of hopefulness in Timmy’s tone, which makes him feel warm all over.
Armie’s whole face breaks out into a grin at Timmy’s suggestion. “You’re on, Chalamet.”