Chapter Text
“It’s too early to put up a tree, brat.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Yes, it is.”
“No, it’s not. The tree goes up immediately after Thanksgiving, Levi. Those are the rules. Are you going to tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about? I’ve been doing Christmas all my life!”
Sure, Levi knew he wasn’t getting out of putting up a Christmas tree once Eren came into his life, but he didn’t think it was going up this early. All he could think about were the copious amounts of shedding it would do and how often he would have to clean it all up. Honestly, why did they even need a tree? He was perfectly content with seeing a decorated Christmas tree one time at Eren’s parents’ house. If only Eren felt the same way . . .
“And we have to decorate a little,” Eren continued. “I won’t take over your apartment or anything, but without some color it doesn’t feel like Christmas.”
Levi hesitated, trying to figure out how to explain, without offending Eren’s sensibilities in the process, that he’d be fine with partaking in a small amount of decorating. He already knew that ‘a little’ decorating meant completely different things to the both of them, but arguing about it would just hurt Eren’s feelings. For their first Christmas together, Levi didn’t want to do anything to upset Eren. After all, he planned on proposing on Christmas Day.
Hange dared to tell him that it was weird to propose on his own birthday, yet he couldn’t figure out what exactly was so strange about it. On his birthday he wanted Eren to grant him the gift of saying yes to his proposal. What was wrong with that? Perhaps it was his comment about how he wouldn’t take no for an answer, which may have come off as entitled, but it was his birthday. Eren wasn’t allowed to tell him no on his birthday. This was the perfect set-up and he wouldn’t be punished for using his birthday as extra reassurance that Eren would say yes! He wasn’t stupid – in fact, he was a certified genius for devising such a foolproof plan!
“Fine.”
“Really??” Eren asked, eyes widening as though he couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. “You mean it?”
“Yeah. If you want to so badly –
“Okay great! Let’s go get a tree!” Before he could think of a reason to object, Eren slapped a Santa hat on his head and began pulling him towards the door. Having the hat worn by a fictional creature Eren probably believed in until he was sixteen years old on his head made his skin crawl. And that stupid little white puff ball on the end hanging over his eyes and touching his forehead?
Pure agony.
Maybe he would feel better once they got finished decorating, but he seriously doubted it. Perhaps his anxiety stemmed from attempting something new that he had little experience with? After all, it was going to be hard to control everything if he was learning it for the first time . . .
Upsetting Eren was the last thing he wanted though, so he would have to push himself . . . hard.
Eren decided to give Levi a break when it came to decorating, so he happily obliged Levi’s request to sit out while he busied himself with setting up the tree. He wouldn’t lie and say a part of him wasn’t disappointed with Levi not wanting to participate, but Eren also wanted this tree to be perfect, and that involved meticulous placement of the ornaments, lights, and branches. After many years of practicing with his mother and Mikasa, he still wasn’t a master at this, but if he took his time, maybe he could get it just right –
“Move. I want to help.”
The brunette paused mid-ornament-placement, glancing over his shoulder at Levi in complete and utter shock. One minute he’d been sitting on the couch reading and the next minute he was by his side trying to help him put ornaments on the tree . . .
“Aww,” Eren cooed, handing Levi a bright red ornament. “Sure. Go ahead!”
Levi thrusted the ornament towards the tree and precariously sat it on a branch. He stood still for a moment admiring his work before picking up a box of identical ornaments so that he could continue.
“This is easy.”
“Uh, uh, uh –
“Why was this taking you so long?” Levi asked, shaking his head in dismay. “Should’ve asked me to help you sooner, brat.”
“B-but, I- you, um –
“Done.”
Eren gawked at the tree, now knowing for sure that Levi definitely didn’t decorate his apartment on his own. All of the ornaments were clustered in the middle of the tree and half of them weren’t even hanging on the branches. Instead, they were sat randomly in between branches and on top of the lights, ready to fall from the slightest disturbance. The tree looked . . . hideous.
“Levi . . .” Eren said quietly.
“What?”
“It’s . . . it’s great . . .”
“I know it’s great.”
“ . . .”
“Well, if you’re done staring at my masterpiece, let’s –
“Actually, no it’s not!! Levi, what the fuck?! Why did you put all of the ornaments in the middle of the tree?! They’re supposed to go all over! And you didn’t hang them! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO HANG THEM ON THE BRANCHES!”
Levi raised an eyebrow at Eren’s rage before shrugging. “Fine. I’ll fix it.”
“No! Just don’t touch it! I’ll fix it.”
“I said I will . . .”
“No!”
“Fuck off, brat! Let me do it!”
“NO!”
Amidst their arguing they jostled the tree and sent all of the ornaments to the floor, some of them shattering upon impact while others cracked. The sound was unbearable, and pieces of glass flew everywhere making the entire apartment a danger zone.
“What did you do . . .?”
Eren’s jaw dropped. “Me??”
Levi shrugged. “I didn’t do that.”
“This wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t make my Christmas tree look like dogshit!”
“Okay, too far. I was just trying to help.”
“You made things worse!”
“Oh yeah? Well now it’s about to get really bad: clean this shit up.”
Levi was having fun at this point, pushing Eren’s buttons and making him think he was being serious. Obviously it wasn’t ideal to have glass all over the floor, but accidents happen . . . besides, Eren was the one pushing and shoving him to get away from the tree, so he technically made the mess.
“Clean it up?? I have to go buy more ornaments!”
“No, let’s just get rid of the tree.”
“WHAT?!”
“We don’t need it,” Levi said. “In fact, Christmas is canceled.”
Eren screeched, fists balled so that he could properly punch Levi in the face, but to his surprise, Levi started laughing. He didn’t know what he was laughing at, (it better not be him) however the sound was foreign enough to make Eren stop what he was doing. Levi never laughed. He’d chuckled before, but never outright laughed. It was kind of inspiring, and once Eren realized Levi was attempting to make light of the situation, his anger completely dissipated.
“Think this is funny?” Eren asked, crossing his arms as though he was still upset. “You like trying to ruin my Christmas?”
“Yeah.”
“Grinch.”
“It’s Dr. Grinch.”
“How about Dr. Gay?!”
“That’s the best you could come up with, brat?” Levi asked, catching Eren when he jumped into his arms. “Thought I told you to clean this up?”
Eren kissed him, wrapping his arms around his neck to pull him as close as possible. One hand snaked into his hair, yanking and tugging in a ‘I want sex’ kind of way. At least, those were the vibes Levi was getting, and he kissed Eren back excitedly, shoving his tongue into his mouth. He tasted like candy canes and hot chocolate, two things that were apparently going to make up fifty percent of Eren’s diet during the month of December.
“Don’t step on the glass,” Eren giggled, moaning when Levi began kissing and sucking on his neck. “We should go to the bedroom.”
“Fine by me – shit!”
“Careful!” Eren cried. “Are you okay? Put me down so I can look at it!”
“No,” Levi grunted, holding Eren more tightly as he hurried into the bedroom. “I’m fine. Get naked.”
Eren shook his head, but smiled nonetheless. “Okay . . . but can you wear the Santa hat?”
“. . .”
“Please? I’ll sweep up the glass if you do.”
“. . .”
“And I’ll let you do me for the rest of the night.”
“All because you want me to wear that stupid hat?” Levi asked, standing up to leave and find the hat as requested. “Fine. It’s your ass, not mine.”
“So, another Christmas tradition is driving around in all of the rich neighborhoods and looking at people’s lights,” Eren explained. “Since you’re rich, I’m sure you know where all the good neighborhoods are.”
“What are you talking about?” Levi asked. “Drive around and see the lights? Is that something you seriously want to do?”
“Of course . . .” Eren said, this time more somberly. “It’s fun . . .”
Again, after a few moments of hesitation, Levi sighed heavily. “Alright . . .”
“Yay Levi!”
“But I don’t want to be out all night.”
“We won’t be,” Eren promised. “I’m just asking for an hour of your time. We don’t even have to spend that long if you don’t want to.”
“Brat, I’ll spend all night with you looking at lights if you really want me to. I may act like I can deny you, but I can’t.”
Eren was quiet for a moment, pondering what his normally disagreeable boyfriend had just told him. It was flattering and embarrassing at the same time. Having this kind of power over Levi though . . . it might have been too much. Eren knew he was a brat that liked to have things go his way, but at the end of the day, Levi was a proper adult and probably knew better than him.
“Don’t be afraid to tell me no,” Eren finally said. “After all, I’m not afraid to tell you no, so I want you to extend the same courtesy to me.”
“You’re not afraid to tell me no?” Levi asked.
“No.”
“. . . Tch, I don’t want to see those stupid lights then.”
“W-why not?”
“I don’t know. I’m tired all of a sudden.”
“Aww, Levi! Are you serious? I can always go with Armin and Mikasa, but it’s much more fun with a boyfriend!”
“A boyfriend?”
“Yes? You’re my boyfriend, aren’t you?”
Eren didn’t know what he did wrong, but Levi stared at him as though he’d told him they were breaking up before stomping away and slamming the bedroom door shut. He was left to stand in the living room in shock and contemplate whether or not he should bother Levi. Leaving Levi alone after he walked away from him and entered a room to be by himself always worked to remedy the situation. If he was patient enough, Levi would eventually come back out and everything would be normal again.
This time though, Eren decided that he was going to be annoying. Although, after everything that he’d been forcing Levi to do over the past couple of weeks, Eren wasn’t surprised that the older man had finally had enough. He was probably exhausted both mentally and physically, which was why after tonight, Eren would give him some time alone to recover.
Something was still a little strange though. Levi had been quite complicit up until this point. He bickered with him about everything, but it wasn’t meant to be taken seriously. In fact, he’d been cracking quite a few jokes as of late, which was also strange, though not unwelcome . . .
“Levi?” Eren asked, knocking on the door. “Are you sure you don’t want to go?”
The door opened quickly. “Yeah. I’ll go.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah.”
“Seriously . . .?”
“Don’t make me change my mind.”
“Okay! Let’s go then!”
Yes, Levi’s behavior was definitely strange. Normally Levi would have blamed not wanting to go on him and not spoken to him for the rest of the night. Instead, he’d sucked up his pride and changed his mind. Perhaps he was just being nice because it was December, but either way, Eren liked it . . .
Maybe.
Actually, he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. Months ago, he would have complained that Levi fought with him so much (and over the most trivial things), but now that Levi wasn’t arguing with him anymore, it felt a little awkward. It was like his real boyfriend had been replaced by an imposter. And no, Eren didn’t like arguing with Levi by any means. However, arguing could be kind of nice because once they’d resolved their differences, Eren felt closer to him than ever. Without the usual spat, there was nothing to resolve . . . was he feeling bored? No, that couldn’t be it.
Ugh, why was he complaining about it anyways?? He better enjoy it because it surely wouldn’t last!
A buzz in his pocket disrupted him from his thoughts and Eren checked his phone, lagging behind Levi as they exited the apartment together.
Armin: Christmas parade downtown tonight. Thought you might be interested in going with Levi – Mikasa and I will be there if you wanna meet up
Eren: WHAT. How did I not know?!
Armin: Idk. I figured youd text back and tell me u were already there lol Eren: Imma ask him. He’ll probably say no, so dont expect to see us there lol
Once they were in the car and driving (and Levi was no longer shivering from the cold) Eren broke the ice, very casually asking Levi if he’d be down to watch the Christmas parade. Eren was floored by the answer he received, and this time instead of getting excited about it, he just sat there confused. Levi noticed his confusion and asked if he was okay, and Eren provided him with a robotic nod as a response. He could have bet his beating heart that Levi would have shot down the idea of seeing a Christmas parade, especially considering the fact that he had to go to work tomorrow. Eren wouldn’t have minded at all if Levi wanted to get home early so that he could go to bed at a reasonable time.
He might have been going crazy, but the more Eren thought about it, the more he wanted Levi to have told him no. It was beginning to dawn on him that Levi was pushing himself just to please him, which was very benevolent of him, but not necessary. Eren was used to Levi’s selfishness, and overlooking his behavior had become easy for him. It had become normal. The way Levi was acting now wasn’t normal at all! It sounded awful to Eren, but this wasn’t the same person he’d fallen in love with . . . and he never envisioned himself dating someone so narcissistic, arrogant and self-absorbed, but that’s who he ended up falling for. He fell for a man that needed him to remind him to humble himself when he acted too pretentious.
Did this mean he wasn’t needed anymore? What if Levi dropped the rude, closed-off demeanor and people started to realize how charming he could be? What if people started to approach Levi?? People more attractive and classier than himself?! Eren used to consider Petra an intense competitor that he had to work hard to overcome, but now he wasn’t so sure his experience with her counted for much. If someone really wanted to steal Levi away from him, and if Hange wasn’t there to back him up and help him, could they??
“Eren.”
Upon hearing his name, Eren sat up straight and tried to look as though he wasn’t just in deep thought over how nice Levi was being to him. Being bothered by something this stupid made him feel like an idiot . . .
“Yeah?”
“Lights.”
“Oh . . .”
Eren realized he’d been sitting there staring at the floorboard of the car overthinking his relationship when he should have been enjoying this time with his significant other. Instead of submerging himself yet again in his uncalled for imagination, Eren decided to shove all doubts to the back of his mind so that he could properly annoy Levi by ‘oohing’ and ‘ahhing’ over the lights.
“Aren’t they pretty?” Eren asked, dreamily staring out of the window at large reindeer, snowmen and Santa Claus yard décor. The decorations shone brightly with that familiar LED illumination that belonged to Christmas, and it filled Eren with a certain kind of happiness that only came once a year.
“Rich people sure do love to decorate. How do they find the time?”
Levi chuckled at Eren’s blatant description of rich people. “They make time. We all make time to do things we enjoy.”
“That’s true.”
“And people of all income brackets decorate, brat. Not just rich people do it.”
“Oh, I know,” Eren said. “But rich people always have the nicest looking houses and decorations.”
“Think so?”
“Sure. But Christmas isn’t about who has the nicest house. It’s about being kind and generous and spending time with loved ones.”
Instead of responding to Eren’s words of wisdom, Levi cranked up the heat, wishing now more than ever that he lived closer to the south. Usually during the wintertime, he only left his apartment to go to work and he never left so late at night because that’s when it got the coldest.
Yet, here he was.
“Does the Christmas parade involve leaving the car?” Levi asked, placing his hands at the ten and two o’clock position on his steering wheel, taking advantage of the hot air shooting out of the vents.
“Of course,” Eren giggled. “Cold?”
“Obviously.”
“Wanna skip the parade and go home then?”
“Not a chance in hell.”
Eren pursed his lips. “Why not?”
“Because Christmas is about being kind and generous and spending time with loved ones.”
“Ew.”
“Ew?” Levi asked. “Didn’t you just say the same thing?”
Eren didn’t respond, choosing to cross his arms and pout instead. He looked upset, and Levi’s immediate reaction was to get angry at Eren for getting upset for absolutely no reason whatsoever, but he remembered what he was supposed to be doing on the twenty-fifth, so he apologized. Then Eren rolled his eyes at the apology and Levi had the nerve to crash his car into the nearest telephone pole and kill them both, but again, he relaxed. The reason why Eren was upset didn’t matter. As long as Levi could honestly say that he tried his best to make/keep Eren happy up to the day he proposed, he wouldn’t beat himself up for his actions.
“I’m sorry,” Eren mumbled suddenly. “I’m in a weird mood for no good reason.”
“It’s okay, brat. Just sit back, shut up, and enjoy the lights.”
Eren nodded happily, doing just that.
“I’m shocked,” Eren said, slowly and deliberately as Levi pulled him over to the kitchen table. “This can’t be happening . . .”
“What’s so shocking?” Levi grunted, pulling out a chair for Eren and forcing him down into it. Once seated he pushed him up close to the table. Then, he slid a box towards Eren that contained a gingerbread house and all of the essentials needed to decorate it. “Here. Make it.”
Eren stared at the gingerbread house kit intensely, glancing up at Levi to make sure the older man wasn’t ill. Levi going out of his way to buy a gingerbread house for the purpose of building it was just . . . unheard of. The more he thought about it, the more Eren feared he wouldn’t be able to get over his shock. Of course, he’d made gingerbread houses before, but he decided after the Christmas parade debacle (during which Levi looked visibly uncomfortable) to leave Levi alone until it was time to visit his family on the twenty-fourth. That was still a week away . . .
Levi didn’t have to do this . . . he was allowed to relax and free himself of the festivities so that he could properly rest and prepare for all of the social interaction that was soon to come.
“Really?” Eren asked, suspiciously. “You want me to make it? Are you sure? It’s kind of messy.”
“Build. The fucking. House.”
“Yes sir.”
Eren could see Levi shrug and retreat slightly, probably worried that he’d been too harsh with him, but Eren smiled and reached over to ruffle his hair. “Want to help me build it?”
“Not really.”
“Why not?”
“Because I bought it for you.”
The brunette shrugged and began opening the kit, expertly laying out all of the pieces in an orderly fashion so that they could properly be assembled. Levi watched him, interested in the process, but still not wanting to participate. Truthfully, he didn’t have patience for stuff like this, and he had a feeling it’d annoy him to no end if the pieces didn’t stick together. What was supposed to be a fun, family-friendly activity would turn into a competition that he wasn’t interested in subjecting himself to, especially when he and Eren hadn’t really been speaking to each other for the past few days.
He wasn’t sure where he was going wrong, but Eren acted as though he was bored of him. Somehow, Levi was getting the sense that Eren didn’t like it when he tried too hard to please him. Perhaps Eren could see through his act and felt as though the kindness he was giving him wasn’t genuine?
It was genuine though – if Levi really didn’t want to do something, then he wouldn’t. However, he wanted to do these things with Eren. Even if he had to initially force himself to do it, after the fact, he realized that it wasn’t so bad. Forcing himself to partake in activities he never imagined himself doing allowed him to learn new things about Eren in the process. It was a win-win type of situation for him. Thus, it was hard to know that Eren didn’t really appreciate it. Eren probably thought it was weird of him to try so hard . . . maybe he expected him to be a grinch during Christmas? And if Eren expected that of him, a proposal was probably the furthest thing from his mind . . .
Levi didn’t know what to do. In the beginning he was being extra nice in order to ensure Eren said yes, but even he wasn’t immune to the Christmas spirit. He was having fun spending this time with Eren, even if Eren wasn’t having much fun with him.
“Want to take over for me for a minute?” Eren asked. “I think I want to make some hot chocolate. Want some?”
Before Levi could answer, Eren got up and headed into the kitchen, leaving him with the completely built gingerbread house. Now all it needed was decorations, but after Eren yelled at him for his piss-poor job of decorating the tree, Levi wasn’t going anywhere near those gumdrops or glitter.
“Go on,” Eren urged him. “Decorate it. You can pipe some icing, can’t you?”
“I’ll just wait on you,” Levi said, turning to look at Eren. “It’s fine.”
Eren smiled. “I wonder if this is a precursor to how our future home is going to be decorated: me choosing all of the decorations and you sitting on the sidelines totally uninterested.”
“I’m not totally uninterested . . .”
“Then decorate the roof. C’mon, you can do it.”
Levi sighed, looking back at the gingerbread house. As soon as he lifted his arm to reach for some blue icing, the little house fell apart right before his eyes, violently imploding on itself as though he’d used tremendous force to break it. He looked back at Eren who had his back turned to him, and then back at the house, and then back at Eren, and then back at the house again, hoping that if he kept looking away and back, the house would magically rebuild itself.
“It broke,” Levi sourly announced, hearing a gasp followed by loud laughter behind him.
“It’s fine,” Eren told him, attempting to cheer him up by setting a mug of hot chocolate down in front of him. “It’s normal for them to fall down.”
“Tch, all I did was look at it.”
“Mikasa used to break our gingerbread house all the time,” Eren reminisced, laughing at the memories. “I used to get so mad at her. I would cry for hours even though mom and dad would always fix it back for me. It just wasn’t the same, ya know?”
“You seem like the kind of brat that would refuse to eat your Pop-Tart if it broke in half before it touched your plate.”
“I was absolutely that brat. Still am,” Eren chuckled. “You know it doesn’t taste the same if it’s broken in half, right?”
Levi reached over and began trying to reassemble the gingerbread house while Eren occupied himself with his hot chocolate. “What does it taste like if it’s broken in half?”
“Pure despair, that’s what. That was why we needed a family dog . . .”
“You can’t give a Pop-Tart to a dog, Eren. Sugar and all of that other shit in processed food isn’t good for them.”
“Wow, Levi. I didn’t know you went to veterinary school.”
Levi raised an eyebrow at the sarcastic tone in Eren’s voice. “You can’t be serious, brat. You don’t have to be a vet to know that. Your sister was right about you not being able to own animals.”
Eren gasped, inhaling and momentarily choking on his hot chocolate. “Did she tell you that?! When do you two talk??”
“I try to talk to her at least once every other day.”
“Gossiping about me?”
“Sometimes.”
“Hey!”
“I’m sure you gossip about me to your shitty little friends all the time,” Levi said, finally accepting defeat once the gingerbread house fell apart on him for the third time.
“It’s never bad though,” Eren reassured him. “I always have nice things to say about you.”
“You’ve never said anything bad about me?” Levi chuckled. “Doubt that.”
“If I’ve said anything bad, I’ve complained about why you won’t propose,” Eren laughed, although he quickly grew serious. “I’m just kidding. I don’t expect you to propose for a long time. No pressure!”
“When is the right time?”
“I don’t know. Whenever you’re ready I guess.”
“Well, when will you be ready?”
“Um –
“Because lately you’ve been acting like you can’t stand me.”
Eren’s eyes widened, and although he knew deep down that Levi had a point, the accusation still infuriated him. “Excuse me?? That’s not true! You’ve been acting strange and I’ve had trouble adjusting to it!”
“Acting strange?” Levi grumbled. “You mean nicer than usual?”
“W-well, yeah, kind of! You don’t have to be nice just because it’s Christmas! Just be yourself! I like you just the way you are, you know!”
“I am being myself, Eren. What’s wrong with wanting to spend time with you doing Christmas . . . things during December?”
Eren frowned. “If you want to, that’s fine. Just don’t force yourself. There’s nothing worse than when someone is forcing themselves to do something with you that they don’t want to do.”
“I’m not forcing myself, brat! This is fun! We’re having FUN!”
“No, we’re not! We’re arguing!”
“Is this what you wanted?! For me to fight you the whole way through this month?!”
“It’s better than you looking miserable while lying to me and saying you aren’t!”
“I’m not miserable! Sorry I don’t smile twenty-four seven! Why can’t you just do this for me, Eren? Am I that undeserving of a nice Christmas?! I’ve never gotten to celebrate it with anyone and I’m new to this! Cut me some slack!”
“Okay, okay . . .” Eren murmured. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I . . . admit I was probably trying to pick a fight just then, but I won’t do it anymore.”
“Why are you trying to fight with me?? Are you afraid of me being nicer than usual? Am I that different?”
“No . . .”
Levi looked as though he wanted to explode again, but then he sighed and let it go. “Then stop being a brat and get off your period.”
Eren nodded obediently, feeling extremely guilty. “Okay.”
“. . . Are you going to build this stupid fucking house then, or not?”
“I mean, it doesn’t look like it wants to cooperate with either of us.”
“Should we eat it?”
“No,” Eren giggled. “It’s edible, but it doesn’t taste very good. We can make gingerbread cookies instead though? Wanna?”
Levi was grateful that Eren seemed to be completely fine once again, so he readily agreed, hoping this atmosphere could last until the twenty-fifth . . .
It turns out that Eren had not been fine. They continued to remain awkward around each other all the way up until his birthday, something that Eren only mentioned in passing. Fortunately, they were able to retain an air of normalcy around Eren’s family on the twenty-fourth, so Levi was able to enjoy that time without the stress of knowing Eren was upset with him. Last night before bed had been a nightmare though. They both exploded, Levi ended up getting kicked out of his own room, and he still couldn’t figure out why this was happening. Everything was going so wrong, almost as if he’d been cursed! Eren would seem to be normal for one minute, however he never failed to enter this trance-like state in which his eyes would grow wide as though he was remembering something awful that happened to him. And that, he’d be moody and evasive for the rest of the day.
Levi wasn’t sure what to do. Honestly, he couldn’t even remember how they resolved their former arguments. Eren just always forgave him and they moved on. There was nothing to forgive this time though! He hadn’t done anything wrong except be kind, and if Eren had a problem with that, this relationship wasn’t going to work! Levi didn’t exactly love to look and feel stressed out all the time, ready to snap at the slightest inconvenience. That attitude was a part of his personality and it had been his normal for a long time, but that didn’t mean he liked it. And just as he was beginning to lighten up and realize that it was okay to take a deep breath and enjoy life, Eren decided to punish him for it.
It was too bad something like this couldn’t happen after Eren said yes to his proposal. Then he wouldn’t have to be stressed out over this and what was going to be the biggest and most important moment of his life . . .
Actually, maybe he just shouldn’t go through with it. Putting himself in Eren’s shoes wasn’t easy (because he really didn’t understand Eren sometimes), but if he were Eren, he’d probably say no. Plus, Levi’s original trump card, his glorious birthday in which he was brought into this world to enact change and provide direction to all those who worked for him, Eren didn’t give two shits about. Common sense said don’t propose, and since Levi was all about common sense, he decided not to . . . it wasn’t as if Eren deserved it anyways.
That’s right – that brat had been ignoring him, avoiding eye contact, and treating him as though he had some incurable, debilitating disease for the last three weeks! He wasn’t interested in being tied down to someone like that! Besides, Eren would probably respond by saying, “ew, Levi, you want to marry me? That’s way too nice,” when two months ago Eren said he liked nice guys! This young people logic wasn’t logical at all! Either Eren was lying about what he said two months ago, or he was lying now! Or maybe he was just confused – perhaps he’d forgotten what he said?? Or maybe Levi had slipped up somewhere and instead of Eren telling him exactly what he did wrong, he was supposed to figure it out?
It both baffled and amazed Levi that they could get into so many fights, yet each one was completely different from the last. Their last serious fight was a result of him suffocating Eren with his body and not suffocating him with his words . . . how the hell was he supposed to figure out what he’d done wrong this time??
On the other hand, Eren was feeling immensely bad for how he was treating Levi, but every time he made an attempt to fix it, it seemed like he dug himself further into a hole. By now the only person he was really angry at was himself. No, he was furious at himself. Instead of working to fix their problem, he kept blowing up at Levi when they started to argue . . . and now he’d wasted so much time that he couldn’t even properly celebrate with Levi. It was only nine o’clock in the morning, yet the clock continued to tick as they remained apart from each other. He already accepted the fact that he’d started this, and it would be wrong of him to rely on Levi to try and fix it. Levi had been nothing but good to him over the past few weeks, but every time Eren attempted to accept his kindness, his mind was filled with visions of Levi being kind to everyone, and it pissed him off.
Not only would it be dumb of him to tell Levi, “promise you’ll only be nice to me, otherwise you’re not allowed to show kindness at all,” but Eren was also embarrassed over how he felt about it. There were people trapped in abusive relationships every day, yet here he was complaining about his boyfriend treating him too kindly. It was pathetic – he was pathetic, and he had no idea how to turn this all around. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to force Levi to leave him, and that was Eren’s greatest fear. Suddenly, he knew what it was like to live with wondering if your partner was going to leave, and he wanted to kick himself for knowing Levi had felt like this for weeks when they started dating. It was an awful feeling – he felt scared, worried, and angry all at the same time. He wanted to yell at Levi because he was mad at him, yet he also wanted to lock him in a room so that he couldn’t leave him.
Eren despised getting a taste of his own medicine, which meant that he’d had enough of this! He was going to apologize and move on! Right now! It was his first Christmas together with Levi and it was Levi’s birthday! Here he was hogging his bed after he’d kicked him out of it while Levi was all alone and cake-less in the living room!
So, Eren swallowed his pride and nervously slid out of the bed, pulling on an oversized shirt as he stared at the door that separated them. Really, he didn’t have a problem with apologizing first. He’d done it before and as a matter of fact, he usually did. This time was different though. This time everything was his fault . . .
Levi would surely forgive him even though he shouldn’t. What he should do is ignore him for the next few weeks, maybe even kick him out to go and live at his parents’ house for a while. It serves him right for being such an annoying little shit . . .
He sighed again and opened the door, his eyes immediately landing on Levi who was calmly reading a book on the couch.
“Leave me alone,” Levi immediately announced. “I’m just trying to read a book and mind my own business here.”
“I’m sorry,” Eren apologized. “I’m sorry, Levi.”
Levi nodded in a “we’ll see how long this lasts” sort of way and Eren frowned, walking over to him and standing obnoxiously close as Levi read on in silence. Eren could see goosebumps of annoyance erupt on his skin as a result of his proximity, but he couldn’t let this go just yet.
“Really, I’m sorry. I have no good reason to act this way, so please accept my apology.”
“Okay.”
“And happy birthday.”
“Thanks.”
“And I know you said no gifts, but let me at least make you a cake,” Eren mumbled, still feeling a strong sense of rejection coming from Levi. Oh well – he wasn’t expecting Levi to hug him and tell him he was forgiven right away. “I have all of the stuff to make it.”
“Do whatever you want.”
“Okay. I love you.”
Levi finally looked up at him for what seemed like half of a second before returning to his book. “Could’ve fooled me.”
“I’m really sorry,” Eren stressed. “Really, really, really sorry! I hate myself . . .”
“That’s a little too far,” Levi scoffed. “I get that you’re sorry brat, and as many times as you’ve forgiven me, it’d be pretty shitty of me not to forgive you.”
“. . . Okay . . .”
“And I still love you.”
Eren perked up at that, gasping when Levi closed his book and invited him onto his lap. He lunged onto him, knocking the wind out of Levi in the process, so he shyly apologized for it before getting comfortable. Though he initially expected it to take time for them to get back to the point of where they could act normal around each other, he actually felt like a fog had been lifted from the room. Eren felt like he could finally be himself again, and he was thankful that this feeling didn’t come too late.
“I wasted a lot of time this month being mad at you, but at least we still have the rest of your actual birthday to enjoy,” Eren said, happily.
Levi took a deep breath, struggling to breath with Eren straddling his lap and nearly choking the life out of him. “There’s always next year.”
“You still want to date me for another whole year?”
“Yes, Eren.”
“Okay, just making sure.”
Levi thought Eren was being extra cute right now, and probably not on purpose either. His natural personality, while it sometimes drove him crazy, was adorable ninety percent of the time. Hey, maybe he’d want to get married?
No, no, no – he’d already said he wasn’t going to propose. Sure, Eren was being cute now, but what about later tonight or tomorrow? What if he turned into his demonic, bratty self again??
“I’ll go make the cake now,” Eren declared, sliding off of Levi’s lap. “And after that, you can pick what we do for the rest of the day since it’s your day after all!”
Well . . .
The original plan was for Eren to open the mountain of gifts he’d bought for him (gifts that were currently locked away and hidden in the spare bedroom) but due to Eren’s attitude, Levi was prepared to just set them all on fire later tonight. Levi had worked really hard to make sure every gift he got for Eren was something he’d like (and something that couldn’t be used to annoy him) and he desperately wanted to see Eren’s reaction to his hard work. He wanted Eren to know that even though he never looked like he was listening, he truly was. After that, he planned on proposing. He didn’t really see a point in doing anything extravagant, and while Eren originally said he wanted to get proposed to in front of the Eifel tower, he quickly figured out that Eren respected and admired simplicity.
Indeed, Eren’s love wouldn’t be bought, even though Levi had easily spent thousands of dollars on him for Christmas. This was different though! The purpose of getting the gifts was to see the excitement and appreciation on Eren’s face when he opened them. It wasn’t about buying his love – it was about the experience. Plus, some of this stuff Levi wanted for himself, and buying it for Eren allowed him to also get use out of it. See? He’d thought about this very carefully.
He waited patiently until Eren had put the cake in the oven before exercising his right to choose their next activity.
“I bought some gifts for you,” he announced. Looks like he really didn’t want to burn everything he’d taken his time and money to get for Eren.
“I thought you said no gifts!?” Eren cried. “Levi! You swore you wouldn’t buy me anything!”
“I just bought a few things you whiny brat, so don’t get your panties in a wad. Kids in Africa sit on big piles of garbage everyday and you want to complain about a few gifts??”
“You better have only bought a few then,” Eren murmured, secretly looking happier than he wanted to.
“Go into the bedroom while I get them out here.”
“Okay!”
Eren obediently raced into the bedroom and Levi rolled his eyes in fondness at the behavior. It was true that they had made a promise not to buy gifts for each other, because they technically had everything they wanted, but Levi was positive Eren wouldn’t know he actually needed an air-fryer until he had one. Or a temperature-control coffee cup. Or those Dr. Martens he liked so much. Or the air-pods. Or the vintage record player. Or the oil diffuser . . . and he’d forgotten the rest of what he bought him. Oh well – he couldn’t be expected to remember over a hundred individual gifts. The only thing he refused to get for Eren was a puppy, something that should have been first on his list considering Eren loved to remind him how cute they were (not).
Meanwhile, Eren waited patiently in the bedroom, trying not to focus on how many noises he could hear outside. It may have been just him, but it sounded like Levi was making multiple trips into their spare bedroom, and after twenty minutes passed, he was growing suspicious. Levi told him he got just a few things . . .
Eventually Levi opened the door to let him out and Eren tried to control himself as he walked into the living room.
“LEVI!?”
“Merry –
“I thought you said a few things?!” Eren said, wheezing as he took in the sight of the living room that no longer had a floor. Well, technically, it did have a floor – a floor made out of gifts! “What the hell?!”
“What?” Levi asked, attempting to feign surprise and shock. “I did only get a few things. Do you think Santa brought the rest?”
“You’re a horrible actor,” Eren giggled. “And I don’t believe Santa brought all of these. I haven’t been that good this year. Besides, I didn’t really ask for anything.”
“You didn’t have to ask. He was listening.”
Levi was taken aback when Eren whipped around to face him, bottom lip quivering and eyes quickly filling with tears. He erupted into a crying fit, which made Levi feel incredibly awkward because Eren was supposed to cry during the proposal . . .
“Eren,” he said, reaching out to pet his hair, but instead received another hug that could have killed him. “Why are you crying?”
“Because! Why did you do this, you jerk?” Eren sobbed. “How am I supposed to make it up to you?”
“You can make it up to me by opening them and being excited about it.”
“. . . I don’t deserve them . . . you should have just lit them all on fire because my attitude sucks.”
“I would never consider doing something like that,” Levi lied. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
Eren sniffled once again. “Are you sure I can have them?”
“I’m sure. You deserve twice this many gifts if I’m being honest. You’ve made me very happy this year, so I’m asking you nicely to give me this chance to let you know how happy you’ve made me.”
“WAHHHHHHH!”
Levi pulled a hysterically sobbing Eren over to the pile of gifts and sat him down on the floor. He put a gift in his lap and forced him to hold it, patiently waiting for him to stop crying and seriously open it. So much for taking pictures. He supposed it was endearing that Eren was so happy that he was crying, but who cried when they were opening presents? Eren’s quality of life was about to improve and there was no reason to cry over something like that!
“Eren,” Levi said, rubbing his back and trying to sooth him. “Go ahead and open it.”
Eren took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay . . . I think I’m fine now.”
“Good.”
“I want to open this square one.”
“What square one?”
Suddenly Levi felt both hot and cold all over when Eren reached over and picked up a black box that suspiciously looked like the one he’d put Eren’s engagement ring in. It had been hidden in the guest room among the gifts, but Levi was a hundred percent sure he hadn’t picked it up as he moved everything into the living room . . . or maybe he was ninety-nine percent sure . . . actually, wait a minute . . .
“It’s interesting,” Eren noted, examining the box by turning it around in his hands. “And it’s not wrapped.”
“Don’t open it!!!”
“Huh? How come?”
Levi snatched the box out of his hands so fast he could have sparked a small flame between them, although the more he stared at Eren’s confused face, the more he began to wonder if Eren wasn’t aware of what was inside. Admittedly, it didn’t look like the traditional black, velvet, square engagement ring box. Instead, the box was large, flat, slim, and designed in a way that was meant to look deceiving. However, someone with a little intuition could have probably figured out what this was. What else other than jewelry would be put into such a fancy looking box? And what piece of jewelry would he give Eren other than an engagement ring?!
Honestly, he probably shouldn’t question it and just be thankful for Eren’s naïve, innocent nature.
He may have spoken too soon though, because Eren snatched the box back away from him and held it behind his back, smiling impishly before poking his tongue out. Never mind, Eren was the exact opposite of innocent!
“Why can’t I open it?” he repeated. “Is it something bad?”
“Tch, it’s not for you,” Levi lied.
“Then who’s it for?”
“Let me see it and I’ll tell you.”
“Ha!” Eren laughed. “Nice try! If it’s not for me, then it must be for Mikasa, right? There’s no other reason why you’d be so protective over it.”
“Yeah, it’s for Mikasa. Now give it back so I can give it to her.”
“I’ll give it back when you tell me what it is.”
“Eren –
“What could you possibly fit in such a weirdly shaped box?” Eren asked, absentmindedly beginning to open Mikasa’s gift. “Is it a watch? Maybe a necklace? Is it –
Eren paused mid-sentence after opening the box, staring wide-eyed and in shock at a large diamond ring inside. He never really wore jewelry, nor did he know anything about it, but he could tell when something was real. His eyes were drawn to the diamond like moths to a flame. Really, he couldn’t help but stare at it. In fact, the box came equipped with a bright light inside that illuminated the ring in such a way that was probably meant to make the receiver think they were getting proposed to . . .
“Wait a minute,” Eren stated quietly, suddenly realizing what all of this meant. Yes, it all made sense: Levi being nicer to him than usual, Levi trying extra hard to please him, Levi wanting to keep this beautiful ring a secret from him. How could he have been so blind??
“You bought Mikasa an engagement ring?!”
“. . .”
“Are you shitting me, Levi?! You’re going to marry your own daughter?! This isn’t Alabama!”
Levi sighed, rolling his eyes in exhaustion. “Eren, you can’t seriously think that ring is meant for her.”
“You said it was!”
“I lied to try to keep you from opening it, you nosy little shit! Out of all these gifts on the floor you just had to open the one that wasn’t meant to be opened!”
Eren froze, looking out over the mountain of gifts and then back to the box with the engagement ring. “You were going to propose to me?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I love it! The answer is yes!”
Levi watched Eren tear the ring out of the box and slide it on his finger, and while he normally would have been pleased because he got what he wanted, he wasn’t pleased at all. That yes had been way too easy. And no, he wasn’t one to stick to traditions or anything, but wasn’t he supposed to get down on one knee? Where were the tears (since now was an appropriate time to cry)? Where was the hug?! Eren wasn’t allowed to just put his ring on himself! He didn’t even get to ask Eren if he would marry him!
“No. This isn’t right,” Levi grumbled.
“Too late,” Eren declared, holding his hand to his chest. “I’m not taking it off.”
“But –
“NO! You already told me I could have it!”
“I didn’t tell you that! You just put it on!”
“We’re already engaged! I’m not letting you convince me to take it off because I don’t trust you!”
“Look –
“I’ve already picked the venue!” Eren continued. “I’ve sent out the invitations! I’ve picked out the cake! I know what I’m wearing!”
“EREN!”
“. . . Yes?”
“Are you afraid I’m going to change my mind?”
Eren looked remorseful, sadly staring at the ring on his left finger and dropping his hand protectively into his lap. “Maybe . . . I know I haven’t been very fun to be around this month . . .”
Instead of agreeing with him, Levi just stayed quiet, however his silence ended up speaking volumes.
“Ughhhh,” Eren groaned. “I know I suck . . .”
“You never really told me why you’ve been more of a brat than usual,” Levi said, adding, “if you want to keep the ring, cough it up.”
Eren frowned. “Basically, I was worrying myself to death over wondering what would happen if you started being nice to everyone. What if people realized how great you are and tried to take you away from me?? And what if they did? It’s not a secret that there are better options out there.”
“You remind me of the way I used to be.”
“It’s not fun to feel insecure.”
“No, it’s not. But you don’t have to feel insecure. I promise I’ll only be nice to you, brat. Don’t worry about silly shit like that.”
Normally, being told not to worry didn’t really do it for Eren, and it actually ended up making him worry more. However, he knew he could trust Levi completely. If Levi told him not to worry, then he wouldn’t.
“Okay,” Eren firmly promised. “I won’t worry anymore. So, can I open up the rest of my gifts now?”
“Sure.”
“By the way,” Eren said, reaching over to pick up another box. “I love the ring. It’s beautiful, and if I were you, I wouldn’t trust me at school with it. If I lost something like this, I’d kill myself.”
“I’d kill you first.”
Eren laughed. “Soooo . . . how much was it?”
“You don’t want to know,” Levi answered, refusing to remember the day he paid for it. “By the way, will you marry me?”
“Duh. Why are you asking me again?”
“I didn’t actually get to ask you. You just put that ring on yourself and decided we were engaged.”
“Okay, what’s the problem?”
“You’re the one who likes to hold to traditions.”
“I do, don’t I?” Eren asked thoughtfully, thinking back to the many Christmas traditions he made Levi participate in. “If I take it off and let you propose to me properly, will you give it back?”
“Well, it won’t fit my finger will it?”
Eren hesitated for a moment before pulling off the ring and placing it into the palm of Levi’s hand. “Okay, I’m ready.”
“Me too. Pawn shop here I come.”
“Hey! Give that back, you jerk!” Eren yelled, laughing when Levi took off across the apartment with his ring. "Fine. But you can have fun picking up all this wrapping paper when I'm done. I'll be sure to tear it into extra tiny pieces as I open my gifts!"