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”Georgie! Where are you?”
Bill's voice echoed from the empty and dirty sewer walls as he slowly made his way forward with a flashlight in his hand, the weak beam of cold light helping him navigate through the impermeable darkness of the old sewer system. The deeper he ventured, the darker it seemed to get and at times, Bill almost felt like the shadows reached towards him, trying to envelop and swallow him whole.
”Georgie!” the teen tried again, his voice becoming more and more desperate with each passing minute, but no matter how many times he called for his little brother, the only reply he got was the sound of dripping water and occasional squeak of a mangy rat.
The young boy winced slightly in utter disgust when the faint beam of light hit a group of large black rats that scuttled away, crawling back within the stone walls to hide away.
The rodents had been eating a human hand, the fingertips gnawed off along with most of the palm's flesh. Their small black eyes followed Bill as he passed them and as soon as he was a safe distance away, the rodents returned to feast on the hand.
I can't leave Georgie here. He must be so scared...Bill thought and tried not to think of how those very same rats would feast on his corpse if he never made it back.
”Please...Please answer me...Georgie,” Bill whispered, only for his eyes to widen slightly in terror when the flashlight in his hand started to flicker slightly, clearly running low on battery already. He hit the torch a couple of times and thankfully the light stabilized.
It really started to feel like the stone walls were slowly closing in around him, forcing and encouraging him to continue his pursuit deeper until he’d find what he was looking for.
To be completely honest, Bill wasn't so sure if he even could find his way back out anymore, not that it mattered. He wouldn't leave until he had found his little brother. They could find the exit from this place later, together.
As foolish as it was, Bill had decided to come to search the sewers all alone without his friends. No one would be there to save him from It's clutches if something went awry, but he tried not to think of that too much.
The Loser's club had disbanded completely after the traumatic experience with the monstrous being at Neibolt house. Really, it seemed like all of them were either ingoring or avoiding him. They wanted nothing to do with him or Georgie's death.
Even Beverly who had supported him so bravely had wanted to stop the investigation after almost getting killed by the monstrous child eating clown.
All they wished was to spend the summer as normal kids and not have to worry about the disappearances, strange occurrences or death that seemed to loom behind every corner, hoping that It would just go away and ignore them if they stopped and were careful enough. It as prone to stop eventually and have It's long rest. There would be 27 years of peace and quiet in Derry.
In the end, Bill couldn't really blame his friends. They hadn't lost anyone, so how could they ever understand what motivated him? It had become painfully clear that he was the only one who could find his brother. No one else cared.
I have to find him, I just have to, the teen thought hopelessly as he came upon a intersection with 4 possible paths to take, including the tunnel he had come from. Bill could still turn around...to try and head back outside and give up on this suicide mission, but...Bill knew he could not.
Something was calling out to him, wanting and encouraging him to continue deeper, to never leave this place, like he belonged in the darkness. He had tried his all to resist the urge to come here for so long, knowing that he'd put himself in peril, but he had to save Georgie.
It wanted him down here all alone.
The guilt had overwhelmed Bill completely. It was like vilest poison that ate away at his mind and soul, turning the child into a shadow of his former self. It was his fault Georgie had disappeared, so he had to find him, no matter what the outcome was.
No one seemed to care about the lost children of Derry, like it was a something everyone had just accepted, waiting for the disappearances to just stop. Even his own parents seemed to just want to forget all about Georgie in their grief. He couldn't live lie this. Derry was diseased.
I made the boat, it is my fault he is gone. I have to correct this.
”This isn't real enough for you Billy? I'm not real enough for you? It was real enough for Georgie.”
Those horrible and venomous words tormented him day and night, making Bill want to scream in anger and despair whenever he thought of them or the clown. He'd switch places with his brother without a second of hesitation if he could.
For a good while now, Bill had felt like he was constantly being observed. The feeling had crept in after the Loser's Club had disbanded.
Now that Bill was all alone and without his friends, he wasn't much of a threat. If anything, he was an easy prey now and the clown could torment him to it's hearts content.
It lingered in the darkness just beyond his field of view, waiting for the foolish teen to lower his guard so that It could strike and make him disappear as well, turning Bill into just another “missing” poster to be replaced by another within days.
Curiously enough, the killings and disappearances had slowed down over the weeks until they had eventually ceased altogether, suggesting that It had finished the cycle of feasting, yet…the clown had kept tormenting and stalking Bill, as if wanting one last meal and kill…
Whenever he was alone and in some isolated place, he'd see It, taunting him from a distance, telling him that he'd float too soon enough. It tried to lure him into the sewers, using Georgie's form.
Nights were really the worst. Whenever Bill lied in bed and tried to get some sleep, every shadow looked like the outline of Pennywise. The child would close his eyes only to hear the clown's soft jovial yet oh so malicious laughter echo in his bedroom and at times, Bill could swear he was able to hear It's footsteps as it moved closer and closer. It was trying to scare him, make him terrified of It....and at times, it worked and he could feel the paralyzing touch of dread in his heart.
But the teen refused to hide underneath his blanket like some scared little child, telling himself that it was not real, but an illusion. For days now the last thing he could recall before falling into the world of dreams was the overwhelming evil presence by the side of his bed, wanting to sink it's razor sharp teeth into his delicious flesh and tear him apart limb by limb.
It'd whisper to Bill, trying to lure him back into the well-house and the depths of the sewers all alone.
Last night, It had finally succeeded.
Bill stared at the window and the raindrops that drummed softly against the glass. His eyes were half lidded and the teen had to fight to keep them open as the sleep tried to overtake his small body. He listened to the heavy rain, how the water drops bombarded the roof as the wind howled outside, battering the trees and houses without any mercy.
The only source of light inside the dark room was his desk lamp that cast its warm light over a note book with Beverly's picture drawn on it with deep red colored pencil.
His parents were already fast asleep but he could not stay in bed, not during a night like this when lights seemed to dim due to the intensity of the storm. He wouldn't be surprised if the electricity was cut altogether any moment due to a tree falling over the power lines.
“He thrusts his fists against the post...” Bill whispered to himself as he stared at the water drops that ran across the window's surface, dancing mesmerizingly. “....and still insists he sees the ghost..” his eyes pressed shut and soon enough Bill's face rested on the notebook.
He could hear the door open quietly with a soft creak. Someone entered his room, slowly approaching the kid who was half asleep. Bill mouthed the words of the practice silently, feeling someone place a hand on his shoulder and lean slowly closer to him. For a fleeting moment, Bill thought it to be his father, only to feel cold dread touch his heart when he heard Pennywise's voice.
“Georgie got blown away by the wind...” Bill, who was so tired wasn't quite sure whether he was dreaming or awake, yet the despair and sorrow he felt were painfully real.
“He was washed down into the sewers by the rain...down, down below...”
Few tears formed in Bill's eyes, landing onto the red color and mixing into it, making it look like blood. He missed his brother so much and something inside him broke when he heard Georgie's weak and scared voice.
“Bill, I can't find my way out...please, it is so dark in here. Please, come find me. ”
Bill really had a death wish coming down here all alone and part of him knew he was not coming back. However, the scariest thing probably was how he couldn't care less about himself anymore.
He had not told anyone about coming back to the well house. Hell, he had not even bothered to lock Silver up. His beloved bike had been left forgotten in a ditch by the side of the main road, probably to be found and taken by some drifted who'd sell to get his next fix.
”Which way?” Bill wondered out loud as he shone the light into the tunnels, only to freeze when he heard a soft and innocent giggle that belonged to none other than his little brother.
”Georgie?” the auburn haired boy asked in trembling voice as he turned his flash light to the direction he had thought the voice had come from; it was kind of hard to tell with the eerie echo.
Bill's eyes widened slightly due to the shock when he saw his brother standing in middle of one of the tunnels with his form veiled in the deep and dark shadows. But, before the teen could say anything, the small boy in yellow rain coat turned on his heels and ran deeper into the sewer complex while giggling happily, like this was just a game.
”Come find me Billy.”
”Georgie! No w-wait! Y-y-you'll get lost down here!” Bill yelled and ran after his little brother, dropping his torch into the sewer water that seemed to swallow it whole, the light dying completely in the murky depths.
The boy stumbled through the darkness, his brother's laughter guiding him through the twist and turns of the tunnels.
”Georgie!! Please! Wait for me!”
After what felt like an eternity of twists and turns, Bill finally found his way into a huge room where most of the tunnels seemed to lead to.
The auburn haired boy blinked a couple of times in confusion as he stared at the obscure spiraling structure that was built and formed from all the trash that had been washed down here over the decades. It reached up towards the sky and the light that poured through a large and heavy metal grating.
Bill lost his footing and found himself falling forward onto the sewer floor, his hands in the dirty water.
No, Bill thought hopelessly as he slowly lifted his gaze up from the dirty sewer floor to take a good look at the construct and the floating forms that circled it; the mangled, partly eaten corpses of the children who had disappeared. They were all there, they had to be. There were so many of them.
”G-G-Georgie?” Bill asked, not wanting to believe that his brother would be up there, but when he saw a pair of rubber boots and a bloody yellow raincoat that had been cast aside and forgotten, a soft cry of pure despair escaped his lips.
”No no no...It can not be...” Bill whispered as he crawled over to the clothes that were exactly the same his brother had worn the day he had disappeared. With trembling hands Bill picked up the bloody coat, turning the collar to see a name tag “Georgie Denbrough.” It felt like all strength had been drained from his body and replaced by pure, paralyzing sorrow.
He could no longer deny the truth when it was so blatantly and cruelly presented before his very eyes. Somewhere high up above him floated Georgie's small body. Georgie, his little brother was dead and would never come back.
”Billy what took you so long?”
The teen's heart started to race when he heard Georgie's faint and scared voice. He turned his gaze to see his little brother standing some distance away from him, missing his rain coat and arm.
Bill could feel how despair and helplessness overwhelmed his very soul as he stared at his little brother he knew not to be Georgie. No doubt the clown was enjoying every single second of tormenting him.
”I've missed you...” the small boy whispered in a heart breaking tone, coming closer to Bill who had no strength to get up. There was no fight left in him. ”I miss mom and dad...please take me home with you, Billy.”
Despite having accepted the ugly and horrible truth, a part of Bill wanted to just hug his brother's form and hold him close, to comfort him to the best of his ability.
”I miss you too Georgie, but I can't take you with me...because you are not really him,” Bill stated weakly. His eyes were filled with tears and even breathing was starting to become hard due to the anxiety and emotional distress. Why did the truth have to be so very painful?” So just drop that disguise you monster!” there was now pure despair and anger to his voice. ”You are not my brother!”
For a fleeting moment, the small boy looked sad and like he was bout to start crying thanks to his brother's cruel words. However, when It noticed Bill was not going to play along, the small form started to shift and change violently.
Georgie’s limbs twisted and turned as they grew longer and longer. His clothes turned to white with orange pompoms and soon enough Pennywise itself was standing in front of Bill smiling eerily at the boy who had lost all will to fight or even live.
”So glad you finally found your way down here,” Pennywise giggled, sneering at his prey who had so willingly made his way to his lair, giving Bill an elegant if a very mocking bow. ”Then again, it is the inevitable end of a thrown away things to be washed down here. Like Georgie's boat, like Georgie, like you Billy boy,” Pennywise snickered and Bill actually managed a small laugh of utter disbelief that seemed to amuse the clown. “You all eventually float your way down here...to me. You belong down here.”
”T-t-that includes you too, right? Your belong among all this trash...because that's what you are....” Bill hissed with a bit unhinged look in his eyes, making the eerie smile on Pennywise's face die down a bit, only for it to widen to the point a row of razor sharp teeth showed.
”The manners with kids these days,” the clown chuckled a bit, only to look like as if it had remembered something. “Oh I almost forgot, I have something for you little buddy.”
Bill watched in absolute horror how the clown pulled a paper boat from behind its back, the very same on he had made for his little brother. Pennywise offered it to Bill with a hungry and murderous gleam to its orange eyes. “Here...take it. Georgie was so afraid that you’d kill him if it got lost.”
A trembling hand reached towards the boat, taking it.
It has to be an illusion, it just has to, Bill thought, his small heart hammering painfully hard against his chest as he tried to determine whether it was a real or an illusion, but the horrible truth was that the boat was all real. It was the one he had crafted with love, and the one that had gotten Georgie killed. He was the fault his brother was dead.
Tears ran down Bill's face as he held the paper boat close to his heart, only to crumble as his hatred and anger towards both himself and the clown grew. This was all his fault and now he was going to die as well, torn apart and devoured by the murderous clown.
At least I'll be with my brother.
”I hate you, loathe you, despise you!” Bill hissed through his sobbing and tears and the clown cackled at him in him all joavialy.
”Well Billy boy the feeling is mutual, and you know what that means? It makes you my very special little buddy. The rest are just food, but you,” the clown said, wagging its finger scoldingly at Bill. ”You really know how to work up my appetite.”
”F-fuck you,” Bill snapped, even though he knew he had to look pathetic with the tears running down his face.
The high and mighty leader of the Loser's Club who had been so head strong and determined to destroy the monster was all alone now, without any of his friends coming to help him. In the end, Bill was just a child, a scared, lonely child the clown could take his time with.
”How is it like to be all alone, Little Buddy? No friends to help you nor family to care about you. Lost and unwanted thing, to be quickly forgotten like all the children I’ve devoured,” the clown taunted him as it came closer, his movements exaggerated and almost comical. The monster towered over Bill who tried to back away slowly, only to hit the tower of garbage that blocked his escape. There was a predatory gleam to Pennywise's orange eyes.
”Well little buddy? Is this real enough for you now?” the clown inquired as he knelt down to grab Bill by his throat, choking the boy a bit before leaning closer.
The auburn haired teen closed his eyes and gripped the clowns' arm, trying to get It's grip to loosen but it was a futile effort. ”Well, is it?” It's fingers dug painfully into Bill's flesh, making the boy choke and gasp weakly for air.
With an eerie and amused smile, Pennywise applied enough pressure to almost crush Bill’s throat. Its touch was ice cold and made the boy's skin crawl.
“Well, Is it?”
The monstrous clown grinned, pressing Bill painfully hard against the mountain of trash to coax a small cry of pain from the kid.
It leaned closer, inhaling the boy's scent to taste the delicious fear but...to Pennywise's disappointment, there was little to be found. The clown scowled a bit and looked vexed, as if its meal was ruined.
It was as if Bill could no longer experience true dread.
”There is no fear in your soul, no flavor to your flesh. A broken thing with mind beyond fear...No no no this won't do at all,” the clown complained, tapping Bill's jaw with it's long fingers thoughtfully, as if considering how to make the child afraid of it again.
”I could devour your friends before your eyes, maybe that will put the tasty fear back into your marrow,” the clown mused. ”I'll feast on their delicious flesh and tasty fear until all you know is dread.”
It's words did send a shiver of dread down Bill's spine and he could see the clown salivating a bit. It could so easily tear his throat out with a single bite. His blood would splatter all over its white clothes, painting them red.
”No,” Bill whispered through his tears of hopelessness. While he did fear for his friends' safety and lives, somehow it felt like they were no longer his responsibility. The group had broken up and all that remained was him and It.
”No? But it is so much fun to share a meal with friends!” the clown laughed and turned Bill's head a bit, clearly enjoying the hint of fear in the kid's eyes.
Yet, despite the fear, Bill felt oddly calm and somber, as if he already knew his place was down here, with It.. There was no longer going back. He had found what he had looked for. He was not afraid of death, not anymore. Hell, one could even say he yearned for it if it meant he'd be able to be together with Georgie in some form. He could not live in Derry that was rotten to its core thanks to It. It was Derry.
”P-p-please,” Bill pleaded, but his words weren't to beg for his friends' lives. He recalled the words the ghostly visage of Georgie had told him in the flooded basement.
”But, Bill? If you’ll come with me, you’ll float too.”
“Well? What is it you brat? ”
”Just l-l-let me be with Georgie,” Bill whispered through the sobs. He was weeping now, having accepted his fate. ”Make me float. I don't care anymore.”
The words just escaped his lips without any thought and for a moment the teen couldn't believe his own ears.
Did I really say that?
Accepting Georgie's death had been the final straw and he couldn't endure this horrible reality any longer.
The clown actually looked surprised for a moment by Bill's words, only to start giggling and laughing at the boy all mirthfully. Pennywise's grin widened to the point it looked truly horrendous, those razor sharp teeth ready to rip Bill's arm right off.
It looked truly amused by the kid's death wish. Such mature fears this one had. Pity that existential dread didn’t quite taste as delicious as pure primal terror kids so easily experience. This brat really was something else that it was almost shame to eat him.
Pennywise tilted its head slightly to the side as he inspected the boy who swallowed heavily.
”You know what Billy boy? I think I'll keep you around a while longer. There is still so much fun to be had and many scares to be enjoyed until your flesh is salted and seasoned and ready for me to sink my teeth into,” the clown mused as he turned Bill's head slowly from side to side to inspect his little prey who so longed to be with Georgie. Too bad that would never happen. ”I'll take only you and have my long rest early. Your friends will live long and happy lives while you float down here with me in a different manner....aren't you glad?”
”W-w-what?” Bill asked with trembling voice, ready to embrace the death to escape this living hell that was life without his brother.
The clown leaned closer, his face inches away from the teen's, its orange eyes fixated on Bill's and the small eerie smile didn't promise anything good.
”Yes yes! You'll remain down here with me until all your friends and loved ones have grown and thrived and led long happy lives without you, until old age has taken them all back to weeds. We'll wait until the world itself has forgotten all about your very existence. Then, yes then you'll be truly alone and I can finally taste that sweet, delicious fear,” the clown laughed softly, sounding almost like Bill was a kind of a trophy It wished to keep for all eternity.
Its words did cause a shiver of dread run down Bill's spine. The thought of all his loved ones being dead along with his memory was terrifying. The clown's mouth started to water slightly when it sensed the budding fear in his prey, clearly tempted to sink those razor sharp teeth into his flesh, but that bud of fear would have to grow and bloom before it'd devour the brat.
Such a headstrong child, efforts fueled by strong sense of justice and need to correct wrongs. Poor Billy, abandoned by his friends with his mind and soul overwhelmed by the guilt that had led him down here to be taken by the clown. Oh the boy was simply too amusing to be devoured.
No, Billy belonged to It. It would keep him down here until there was nothing left of his sanity.
The teen didn't really know it, but It knew the boy to have a level of ability for mental projection which had made him more dangerous than the rest of the kids; the encounter at Neibolt House had proven that. The damn brat had so easily seen through his illusions, but like with most things, there was power in groups and the boy was helpless and weak when alone and isolated. The rest of the kids would pose no threat after Bill was gone, not that they had any interest in opposing It.
”I own you Little buddy. You belong down here in the darkness with me. I'll feed off your mind and fear. You will float but in a very different way,” the clown said with a soft chuckle, bringing its free hand to caress the side of Bill’s head rather gently, pushing few locks of auburn hair off his face.
Pennywise released its hold on Bill's throat momentarily and the boy started gasping for air, his lungs burning with need for precious oxygen. However, before he could recover completely, the clown grasped his jaw and head so that he could not look away.
”Now, time to float within my deadlights, Billy boy.”
The teen watched in horror how the clown's orange eyes turned up and closed as its mouth opened in unnatural manner, widening, growing and extending until the child could gaze deep into its maw and see those countless razor sharp teeth that lined the monster's throat.
The self preservation instinct compelled Bill to struggle and fight for a fleeting moment, but Pennywise had no trouble keeping the small boy under its control, so that all Bill could do was into the depths where he saw a faintly flowing orange lights that seemed to grow more intense by the second.
They swirled and danced before Bill's eyes and he was helplessly mesmerized by them, unable to look away even if he wanted to. His struggling died down instantly. They were so beautiful and a part of him just wanted to be in that beckoning light, to lose his whole existence to it.
A faint smile formed on the teen's lips as he gazed deeper and deeper, losing more than a part of him into that cold, deadly light.
However, that small smile faded away when he started to hear all the scared and helpless screams that begged for him to help them. Worst of all, Bill could swear he could hear Gerogie's small and weak voice among them. It was faint, yes, but he was certain his brother was there among the rest, scared and calling out for his big brother to save him. He could hear and feel all the scared souls who had been trapped inside those deadlights.
“Georgie....” Bill whispered with warm and salty tears running down his face. At least he could be with his brother. Maybe someone one day would set them free.
But even that comforting thought was taken away from him by the clown who sought to own him completely.
Suddenly, it felt like those voices were so very far away, like he could never be able to reach them. Fear started to coil around Bill's heart like a vile serpent as he gazed deeper into those cold orange lights to find only soul crushing loneliness, isolation and emptiness.
His moment of bliss, born from the hope of reunion with his brother, turned to dread and pure terror.
Void...abyss was all that awaited him.
”It is so cold.....” Bill whispered in fear as his sanity and conscious thought was drained away into those orange dead lights. His mind was swallowed whole by the abyss and it felt like his soul was floating through that impermeable darkness, never to escape.
He did not die and join his brother, no, that fate was denied from him by It. The teen's eyes turned hazy as his body started to slowly float upwards, but the clown kept a firm grip of the child who was lost in his deadlights, not allowing him to join the rest.
”No no little buddy, you don’t go up there, Your fate awaits in the depths where you’ll keep me company while I rest and recover and find my appetite again,” Pennywise giggled softly as it carried his little captive down into the depths of the sewers, to its lair. The boy’s mind was lost in the deadlights, his body unable to die or age…a sliver of his soul now part of It.
Bill was trapped in a dream, or were they visions? He couldn't quite tell. It was so terrifying to be floating there in the never ending void and he could feel It's oppressive presence so very close around him. It lingered so close, as if trying to subdue and overwhelm his soul, so tempted to just dissolve it completely now that Bill once again knew the touch of fear. There was no escape for him, only the endless darkness he floated through.
He could see his own body, but all around him was pitch black. There was no end nor limit to it. He was floating through space, but there were no stars nor planets, only the impermeable darkness and its presence.
“You'll never leave these sewers Billy boy. You are mine now.”
The clown’s eerie laughter echoed from the walls as he carried Bill deeper to his lair where no living soul would ever find him. It was time for them to rest and wait for 27 years and for the first time ever, It had someone to dream with.
It would wake up, feed and go back to slumber over countless cycles while Bill remained there, his soul and mind floating within It's deadlights, lost in the abyss and void. It watched how the kids in Derry grew, moved away, moved back in, married and had new kids It could prey on, while Bill awaited for the day his last thread to the world outside was cut, for the day he'd be devoured by It.
Trapped in the inescapable darkness, Bill dreamed of his friends and family, how they grew up and moved on, eventually forgetting all about him. They all moved away from Derry, forgetting all about the town and their childhood friend who had just disappeared one day, never to be seen again. Even his own family moved on, wanting to just leave the damn town and the horrible memories along with it.
Eventually, they all grew old and went back to weeds , his family, Ben, Beverly, Eddie, Mike and Stan...they all left the world one by one and along with them died last faint memories of Bill. All he had left was It, and that thought scared Bill more than anything. He just wanted out of the darkness and join his brother.
I want this to end, it has been so long already.
Why couldn't this bad dream just end? Why couldn't It let him wake up? He was so afraid of the world he no longer recognized. Even though it had been decades, Bill still had a child's mind and child's body.
However, even when the last thread Bill had left to the world was cut, It did not release him from its dead lights.
As amusing as it was, the clown had become rather fond of Bill, of the stupid brat who had the nerve to oppose It. No, his flesh was not to be eaten, no matter how tempting it was to just tear the child apart limb from limb. Terror had overwhelmed Bill long time ago down to his marrow, but eating the kid would be such a waste.
Death would be too kind of a fate for Bill Denbrough. Instead, It decided to keep the boy trapped in the darkness within its deadlights and wait until the child would come crawling to It, hungry for life and flesh...a shadow of a human being. He'd want to be its, yearn it more than the death he had so willingly sought back that day.
They'd feed together.
”You know what Billy boy?” Pennywise mused and laughed as he caressed the unconscious boy’s face in almost gentle and affectionate manner. Bill looked exactly the same as back that day when It had showed him the deadlights. He hadn't aged a single minute. ”I think I’ll keep you with me forever. You'll float here until this world expires, part of my deadlights.”
It really was how they liked to say in that one town in Maine.
Sometimes dead is better.