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Chapter Text

You thought this was over, didn’t you? But inspiration struck! I kinda got back into Breath of the Wild, so I’m pumped for some horseback romance! Play “Lon Lon Ranch Orchestrated” from Ocarina of Time!

Hyrule; Lon Lon Ranch

Lon Lon Ranch was a vast, lush plantation, the most famous and abundant farmland in all of Hyrule. After hundreds of years, even as technology and civilization evolved, this ranch stood the test of time. It was treated with as much historical significance as the castle or the Master Sword itself.

Biscuit Krueger led Cheren Uno and Panini Drilovsky up the hillside that led to this amazing pasture. Their eyes shone with awe at all the horses galloping the farm. They bore all kinds of rich, natural fur and manes, from brownish-orange, partly brown and white, fully brown, black with a blue tint, etc.. There were cows grazing in one field and Cuccos ba-gawking in another. A young red-haired girl sang a pleasant melody that blessed the ranch with a lovely peace, and the mooing of the cows became a chorus to compliment her.

“You can probably guess why Lon Lon is so treasured.” Bisky told them, the trainer still bandaged and in crutches. “The original ranch existed on Earth, when Hyrule lived there. The Sheikah kept the ranch in memory within their documents, so when the Hyruleans moved to this planet, they rebuilt it to its former glory. The reason?”

“Because this ranch was where Link got his horse, Epona.” Cheren deduced.

“Correct you are. Epona is revered no differently from the hero himself. Of course, even regardless of Epona, this beautiful ranch can make anyone feel at ease. Even Lord Mandy was determined to not let it get damaged during the Pirate War. Even when those Titans attacked, or during the initial assault. Castle Town and the castle itself are still in ruins, and you can see them from here, but this ranch is still a beautiful haven.”

“Ay imagine it has material value, too.” Panini remarked. “This is where most of the kingdom’s horses are bred, aren’t they? Including the royal horses. Of course Mandy would want ta keep it safe.”

“Indeed, horses are raised and treated better here than in the castle’s pen.” Bisky remarked.

“Come on, Panini, you know Mandy has a soft spot!” Cheren said with a positive smile. “She probably loves this place as much as anyone!”

“If ya say so.” Panini smiled with disbelief, eyes closed and shaking her head. “But this does bring up a really weird story. When our parents talked about the Firstborn Quest, they said your mum was aided by the spirit horse, Epona.”

“I’ve always did wonder about that. If Epona’s spirit was there for my mom, why did it never come for me?”

“If you want to know, ask her yourself.” Bisky inferred.

“What?”

“Perhaps the reason Epona never appeared was because she was reincarnating. Animals are reborn just the same as people. And with every generation of Link, there is always a single horse born with the same red coat and white mane that glistens in the sunlight. That very same horse… gallops on this very ranch.”

When Bisky turned their attention to the red-haired, humming girl, she seemed to be facing a certain direction. A few yards across the pasture, a horse with a coat of red, but a mane, tail, and hooves of snow, stood out from the rest of its brethren. “…” Though it was his first time setting eyes upon the horse, he felt memories coursing through him. An ancient voice was speaking from his heart. …It was… the same voice of that red-haired girl.

E-po-naaaa… E-po-naaaa… Eeeeepoooonaaaaa.

Cheren withdrew the Ocarina of Time from his pocket. He put his mouth to it and moved his fingers across the holes. Do do doooo, do do doooo, do do dooo dooo doooooo…

Panini clamped her ears shut, expecting an awful performance… but Cheren had really improved on his ocarina skills.

“Neeeiiiiigh!”

The distant horse kicked its front legs up in the air and began to gallop in Cheren’s direction. The girl stopped humming, in awe as she watched the horse trot past her, skidding to a halt before Cheren. The horse was fairly huge compared to the 10-year-old.

“Hey… You played Epona’s Song!” the girl gasped, running up to them.

“Was that the song you were singing?”

“My family’s known that song for generations. My mummy taught me, and her mummy taught her, and her mummy, and her mummy… all the way up to my ancestor, Malon, who taught her husband, Link.”

“WAT?!” Panini screeched. “Y-You’re a descendant… of Link?!”

“Chill out, Panini.” Bisky laughed. “You know that not all the Links are related by blood, right? They’re reincarnations. And most of them never got with Zelda.”

“Ah ha ha ha!” The girl laughed. “I recognize you, Cherry. You’re the new ‘Hero,’ aren’t you?”

“Haha, yep!” Cheren boasted. “I’m guessing you’re a KND, then! …And this is really Epona, isn’t she?”

“She is. My parents were really happy when a horse of this color was born. We’ve been very excited for ‘Link’ to return and reunite with her. My name is Malon, too, by the way. …Would you mount her?”

“Ay dunno if that’s a good idea.” Panini smirked. “Cheren is awfully tiny for that big girl.”

“Hey, hasn’t Vweeb taught us anything?” With that, Cheren walked around the side and climbed onto the stout horse. He felt significantly taller as he rested on its saddle, looking over the girls. “Heheh, now I feel like a real man!”

“Get off yer high horse, boy.” Panini retorted. “You can barely fit your rear on it, you ain’t gonna last a trip around Hyrule.”

“We’ll see about that! Hyah—whoa!” Cheren whipped the reins, but clung on tight when Epona began to gallop. It was sudden at first, but he maintained a firm hold and kept himself seated to the saddle. The girls watched as the little hero steered himself around and galloped along the meadow. The wind rushed through his hair and the scent of the farm air pumped his lungs. He felt a rush of adrenaline and freedom from atop the noble steed.

Cheren steered Epona back to his friends and halted her. “Haha, this is really fun! I’m an actual natural at horseback riding! Though I guess I did have a bit of practice when I rode those seahorses on the Termina Sea.”

“A lot of good horseback riders oft come to our ranch and pay to ride Epona.” Malon said. “But Epona never ever listens to anyone, because deep in her soul, her only true rider is Link.”

“Hee hee! Then I think we need to make up for lost time, eh, Epona? How about we go on a magical journey across Hyrule?”

“Neeeiiiiigh!”

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes.’ But since I don’t take up much room, how about an extra seat? Well, Panini?”

“Hey now, Ay’m no backseat rider, boy!” Pan remarked. “You expect me to be pressed up to your fanny the whole time?”

“Oh, har har, just get on. I doubt your little bunny legs can keep up with this baby~”

“Fine~” Panini rolled her eyes and approached. “But I expect you ta-”

“Dumb, rotten horse!” Hearing commotion, the group looked a short distance away. Cindy Cortix was wrestling with a brilliant white stallion, its coat clean and smooth with a mane that possessed a hint of vanilla-gold. The horse whinnied in agony and kicked Cindy off its back. “Grrrr! Maybe you’ll listen after THIS!” She bellowed a Scare Scream, torturing the horse’s ears.

Panini dashed forward like a wild rabbit and rammed her light-green sneaker up Cindy’s mouth, the princess reeling back. “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YA?! That ain’t how ya treat a horse, stoopid girl!”

“Did you just attack the Princess of Hyrule over a dumb horse?!”

“Yer darn right I did! Just because you ain’t good at riding it, don’t take it out on the poor thing!”

“I shouldn’t HAVE to be good at riding it! This is supposed to be the Royal White Stallion, the horse that all princesses dream of riding.”

“She’s right.” Malon replied. “That horse is Hylia, bred to be ridden by the princess. She’s just as revered as Epona, and she only listens to the princess just the same.”

“Then it’s obvious this horse is a defect!” Cindy stated. “Let’s kill her and reincarnate her again!”

“The hell you will!” argued Panini. “I’ll show ya how to ride a horse!” The rabbit-haired girl whirled around and pounced onto Hylia’s back. The stallion whinnied and ran to try and shake her off, Pan holding the reins tightly.

“Good luck!” Cindy yelled. “If it won’t even listen to me, it’ll trample all over you!”

“Ya right!” Panini was more determined to tame the steed. Though it trotted and rumbled all around the farmland, Panini was firmly seated. “’ey, Cheren! Ya wanna see the sights of Hyrule or see my horse’s arse?! ’Cause that’s all yer gettin’ if ya can’t stay ahead of me!”

Cheren was taken off-guard as he realized Panini was galloping away from the ranch grounds, having attained control of the stallion. His rivaling instincts kicked in, narrowing his eyes and whipping Epona to gallop after her. Bisky and Malon bore proud smiles as the horses and their masters rode off into the distance.

It seemed that Hylia had become more calm in Panini’s hands. Her double ponytails were flapping behind her, her lungs welcoming the fresh breath of the wild. Cheren ushered Epona to gallop faster, eager to catch up with his friend. Soon, the two horses were traipsing side-by-side. Panini twisted her head right, showing Cheren the whiteness of her smirking teeth. They were as shiny and smooth as the horse that carried her. Panini truly looked the part of a horseback rider; she was so proud and composed, not to mention amazing. Plus, she looked incredibly happy and excited, and seeing that grin on her freckled face just made Cheren even more excited.

The two had abandoned their desire to race one-another. They simply galloped the fields at a leisurely pace, remaining by each other’s side as they absorbed the expansive sights of the kingdom. They trusted their horses to guide them while their eyes were left to wander.

Safula Hill was a famous place for travelers due to its distinct landmark, the Sanidin Park, marked by a great statue of a horse on a fountain. Nearby travelers would watch as the two legendary horses came trotting along the paved walkway to the park, where Cheren and Panini would allow them a drink from the fountain. Once they were full, the riders set off again.

Ludfo’s Bog was a wetland defined by gigantic mushrooms, which almost seemed like bizarre rock formations, yet were actually enormous, earth-colored fungi. The horses splashed across the wetlands en route to the Thundra Plateau, an area with an endless thundercloud. They drenched their selves in the rain for a bit, but soon made the trot out before lightning could claim them.

The Tabantha region possessed a mild chill, but certainly not freezing to the young riders. The cool air combined with sunlight made for a blissful stroll along the mountain path. The horses galloped along the rim of Lake Totori, which was deep into a vast hole. A towering, pillar-like mountain stood from the lake, around which Rito Village was built. The duo studied the vertical village from every perspective as they made the full loop around. The local Rito whom were soaring around their home looked down at the horseback-riding couple, engaged at their journey.

Near the lake, the kids rode around the Gisa Crater. The western cliff was decorated with enormous craters, as if from a meteor shower. The land around it was desolate, but Stone Pebblits lurked amongst the rocks. They felt an ominous air about the craters, but nothing to truly terrify them.

Because Panini’s horse was named after the Goddess of Hyrule, they chose to pay a visit to Lake Hylia. They strode across the great stone bridge that stretched across the lake. Zoras and friendly Lizalfos were swimming around the lake, until one called attention to the riders on the bridge. Cheren and Panini decided to make loops around the central fountain of the bridge, then to continue their journey.

Necluda was a region covered by dense jungles. The jungles were stacked on various, elevated cliffs and segments. Their horses carried them across the bridge of Lake Floria, from which they viewed the spectacular, inter-connected waterfalls pouring from the cliffs. These falls could be heard echoing all across the jungle.

Directly south of the jungle was the beach that stretched along the southern coast of the main kingdom. Once at the beach, they galloped all the way toward the west, observing the unique formations along the cliffs. There were Boogey Pirate watch stations off the shore, and the demons were clearly watching the happy couple via telescopes. The beach eventually ended on the west, so the horses turned to head back the other way.

Their journey across the beach took them past Lurelin Village, a fishing village of dark-skinned Hylians. They were the next to behold the horseback children that had graced the rest of Hyrule. Their thoughts on the duo were shared with everyone else’s. Of all the travelers to be sightseeing on legendary steeds, it was rather bizarre to see a young boy in his tweens and a girl in her teens, adorned in fairly ordinary, casual attire. Cheren looked remarkably different from the legendary, green-garbed hero, and Panini didn’t look the part of a princess at all. However, because the White Stallion should have only obeyed Hyrule’s princess, the common confusion was that Panini was a princess herself.

Regardless, the sight of the two on their steeds spread hope all throughout Hyrule. Epona was carrying the hero with a sacred sword on his back, and Hylia was carrying a girl who was, without doubt, a close and trusted companion of his. They were a legend come to life, even if they didn’t look exactly as expected. (End song.)

Beyond Lurelin were the Gogobi Shores, from which they had view of the Cape Cresia, a very long, curved, crescent-shaped beach that grew more narrow until it tipped off at the Soka Point. “Hey, Cheren, race ya to the end of that li’l tooth?”

“Heh, now it’s a race?”

“Let’s give our horses a wee break.” Panini climbed off Hylia to stretch her legs. “Augh, me arse is sore after that. But what’s the point of comin’ to a beach if we can’t even feel the sand ourselves?” she asked as she removed her shoes and socks, placing them beside Hylia. “Come on, Cherry. I’m gettin’ antsy~” She patted the sand impatiently, eager to take off.

Pumped with excitement, Cheren removed his shoes and got beside her. “On your mark! GO!”

They dashed ceaselessly along the crescent cape, the sea steadily closing in from either end. Twilight was beginning to set, but though the sky was growing cool and calm, the kids were nonetheless filled with energy. Sadly, Panini’s speed was that of a rabbit, and she was leaving Cheren in her dust. This brought him back to the good old days, when they always raced to school, and she would always laugh and mock his slowness.

“Ha ha ha ha!” Panini laughed, her shrill, Irish accent piercing the peace the waves brought. “Is that how fast you can run?! All that trainin’ and you haven’t grown at all! Those wee legs can’t keep up!”

There was the ridicule that he remembered. He didn’t care at all that he was losing, he was just so happy to be doing this with her again. After all the drama that had been happening, all the hardships, he had almost feared these days were behind him. It was truly a blessing to hear Panini laugh like this again.

It was no surprise that she was the first to touch the tree at the very end of Soka Point. “Huff…huff…huff…” Cheren slouched on his knees as he tiredly touched the tree. “Panini, have you been a rabbit Faunus all this time?”

“No, boy, I’m just faster than ya~” Pan remarked, showing a hint of fatigue.

“Yeah, well there’s an extra rule to this game: the winner has to carry the loser on their back.”

“WHAT?! Ugh, you cheeky boy! Fine, get your wimpy self on.”

Panini bent over as Cheren climbed on the teen’s back, no different from the battle with Mandy. She grunted from his weight, but wouldn’t let such weakness show. Panini began the dash back across the cape; although slower, she was still notably fast despite his weight. Two lines of footprints had led the way to the point, a small pair and a big pair, but only the big pair were leading the way back. Panini was clearly aggravated that he compelled her to do this, but even so, Cheren enjoyed the ride. It wasn’t from the satisfaction of giving his rival a laborious task… but simply because he enjoyed being close to her. He enjoyed relying on her strength.

When they had finally returned to the horses, Panini collapsed on the sand with Cheren beneath her. “Huff…huff…alright, boy, next time I’m losin’.” She sat up, twisting her head back and down to glare at the boy beneath her skirt. “Let’s see you get comfy when ya have to carry my bulky self.”

“Sounds like my training will have paid off by then~”

“So cheeky!” Panini punched his chest.

The rabbit-haired helped herself off and remounted her horse. Cheren did the same, though neither found reason to put their shoes back on. They steered their horses to find the exit to the beach, going past Lurelin to return to the jungle.

However, as night fell, the couple had slight trouble seeing the way, and they took a slightly wrong turn. The horses galloped along the path up a short mountain. As the path steadily circled and ascended, the two became wary of their misdirection, yet decided to see this road to the end.

At the very top of this Tuft Mountain… there was a pond. It was shaped exactly like a heart, surrounded by fragrant flowers, and small pink fairies whose light glittered the surface. There was a sign that labeled it as ‘Lover’s Pond.’

“Lover’s… Pond?” Panini whispered.

“Did we…did we just find… some kind of dating spot?”

“Ha…ha ha…” The ironic chuckles escaped Panini’s mouth. “This was… certainly a crazy accident.”

“Yeah… like, wow.” Cheren could hardly believe it either.

The boy dismounted Epona and curiously approached the pond. He set a foot in and- “Whoa!” splashed in the neck-deep water.

“Great, ya just ruined your clothes.” Panini remarked. “Ah right, to spare ya the embarrassment, I guess I’d better join ye.” She rushed forward and leapt into the spring, splashing a wave over Cheren’s head. She gasped upon resurfacing, her rabbit ponytails drenched and hanging heavily. The pond was level with her chest as opposed to Cheren’s neck. “Hee hee… most little boys cry when they slip into the deep end.”

“Yeah, well not me.” Cheren chuckled.

“Ha ha!…”

The fairies were softly fluttering around the young couple. The soft light of the stars and moon gleamed like their emotions. The two climbed out of the pond, standing in the flowers to let their selves drip like waterfalls. They blushed and chuckled at their own wetness.

“…I had a lot of fun today.” Cheren said. “I…I always loved competing with you.”

“…Ay did, too.” Panini replied softly. She possessed a cute, sweet smile, yet Cheren could detect the tiniest glimmer of rivalry in her emerald eyes. “Sigh…honestly, Cheren, when Bisky started training ya… I was so upset. Ay thought ya didn’t need me, anymore. That I didn’t inspire ya, anymore.”

“Panini, you were always way more incredible than Bisky. I mean, all my operatives are really amazing, but you’re different. I think about you every day. I love hearing your voice, I love seeing your face, I always loved the way you mock and tease me… and when you kicked that Cindy brat in the mouth, that was so badass that I was just… my heart just started racing. Everything about you is just burned into me…” He reached and softly took her hands. He tried to inch close, but was blocked by her bulky feet. Her hands were big enough to squeeze his like twigs. Still, as his feelings grew, so did the light of the Triforce mark on his left hand.

Panini’s blush grew wider with every compliment. She hoped the fairies’ light would hide it, and she otherwise tried to suck it in. “Awww, listen to you and your little kiddie crush. I am 14, ya know, and you’re only now gonna turn 11? You’re still practically a baby ta me.”

“Come on, look at this cute little guy and tell me you don’t see a man~”

Panini giggled. She just couldn’t resist that cute, witty face of his, nor could she ignore his squeaky boyish voice. She could hardly believe such a scrawny boy contained so much power and passion underneath. This little geek was someone whom hundreds of people admired. “You’re gonna upset a lot of girls, Cherry Boy. Are ya sure you want to choose me?”

“Why wouldn’t I? I…I want to be beside you forever, Panini. I feel like… we’ve been growing so distant, with the God Tier thing and the training… and we’re always apart for way too long. Like during my Termina adventures, when I was turned into a toy, when I was in the Pit of Trials… even if I had other friends, I was always so eager to see you again. I…I love you, Panini. You make me happier than anyone else. I just hate to be apart from you.”

“. . . .” Panini just couldn’t restrain the tears any more. They trickled past the curves of her smile. “About time you said that, boy.”

“…” Cheren propped himself up on his toes to bring his lips to hers. She put her arms around him for extra support. Neither of them wanted their moment to end. It was the happiest either of them had ever felt. Their feelings, their trust, their hearts, they were becoming one. Panini was his most loyal operative, and she was so very proud to be his assistant, his faithful companion, his inspiration and rival. And Cheren would always be grateful for her loyalty and love.

Epona and Hylia looked over the endless ocean. The mounts stood proudly upon the mountain’s edge as true symbols of legend and lore, and a sign that the Hero of Time had found his one true love.

Hyrule Castle

After the couple rested at the nearby stable in the jungle, they were off to continue their road trip the next day.

By this time, the story of the Hero and his girlfriend crossing the continent had made the headline in the newspaper. It was treated as bigger news than the Boogey Pirates having just seized control of Orchid Bay on Earth, a territory that formerly belonged to the Sky Gods. Queen Mandy had stolen control of the city away from the fairies, and would work to establish better relations between the local demons of that city and the humans, much like the citizens of her fair planet. And yet, the Hyruleans would rather advertise a story of two kids riding horses. Mandy found that truly remarkable.

“Grrrrr!” Cindy growled. “She must’ve drugged the horse or something! Why else would it listen to her and not me?! Mom, I want my horse back! And I want her locked in the dungeon for taking it from me!”

Mandy glared at her selfish daughter. “…The White Stallion is bound for the princess of Hyrule. Since I am the queen, and Cheren is my nephew… that technically makes him a prince. Which means that girl… is the future princess of Hyrule.”

“N-No she is not! She kicked me in the mouth!”

“You know, Cindy… I’ve come to realize that, in everything that’s been happening, I’ve neglected my duties as a parent. I’ve failed to give you the true motherly guidance that you need. So, it falls upon me to teach you…” The chamber turned dark as Mandy morphed into a terrifying reaper, “why you shouldn’t abuse a royal white horse.”

Cindy turned royally pale before her mother’s dark gaze.

And also, Cheren is descended from Sugar Queen Sherry, Demon King Malladus, Shadow Queen Malevolous… man, that boy is just supreme royalty. Also, fun fact, Malon is Gerudo.