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Tony had been missing for two weeks when it first hit her that he may not be coming back. As terrifying as it was for her whenever he flew off to save the day, as much as she worried, part of her always knew he was coming home. Sure, he may break a rib or two, dislocate a shoulder, shatter a knee--hell he had a skull fracture with a concussion once, which while serious, had really only led to a week and half of extra cuddly Tony. He was a surprisingly tactile person already, but concussed Tony was a koala bear. Tony always came home and if he needed a little extra TLC when he came home, she was more than ready to give it.
God she was going to wrap him in 500-pound weighted blanket so that he couldn't get away ever again.
She didn't believe that he had vanished, simply because he would be too in the center of whatever cosmic battle had been lost to not have died in the middle of it. Now, three weeks since their morning jog, she waited only for a body.
"Pepper?" Natasha's voice broke her thoughts. "Danvers is coming back into the atmosphere with a ship. It matches the trajectory from the planet titan heading towards Earth. It looks like it ran out of fuel for a few days and ended up drifting. Danvers said there's a man and a woman on board. Man matches Stark's description. Let's go."
She plans a funeral in her head as she walked out with the rest of the survivors. Tony would despise a church funeral. He'd prefer one outside. He wasn't a religious man by any means, but he did always say that he found the idea that his atoms would breakdown and rejoin with the Earth and then be repackaged as something else more comforting than the traditional afterlife idea. There was a lake house that was relatively secluded that they had discussed putting an offer in on before everything went wrong. He loved the idea of splitting their time between the city and the lake house. She could have his funeral there.
Steve runs forward at super speed as the ship opened. Two figures emerged, one hanging on the other. Was that woman blue? The man next to her was essentially being dragged along before being handed off to Steve. "Tony!" Now it was her time to run.
"Is um..." His voice sounded so wrong. He looked horrible, broken and battered--but by some insane chance he was alive.
"Oh my God!" She wrapped him into a hug and felt his weight sink into her, far far too light. She released him just enough so that they could get inside. He kissed her cheek and told her that it was okay as fiercely as he could. It was so like him, to be trying to make her feel better when he could barely move.
"How many times do I have to tell you people that I'm not a medical doctor?" Bruce muttered to himself as he hung the fluids. "Tony this should help you some. I'm going to contact an old colleague of mine who used to do work with Doctor's Without Border's. She'll have a better idea of how to best move on from here. We still have some antibiotics downstairs that I can start once you're a little more stable."
“Thank you, Bruce.” She said as Tony sat there, mostly dazed. He gave her the tiniest of smiles in response. “Thank you so much.”
"Bruce, Tony--Steve wants us all to meet to try to discuss the current status." Natasha said popping into the doorway.
"Nat, he can't move." Bruce said.
"Grab the chair then. You know how he is."
She sighed, closing her eyes. James had insisted that he tried to keep Tony from going of the rails, but she knew it wouldn't have made a difference if he had tackled his best friend’s skinny form to the ground. Tony was furious. He had a right to be, no matter how disturbing the ensuing scene was. She knew that he didn't truly blame Steve Rogers, no more than he blamed himself. Steve was just a target that he could hate for now. Bruce had sedated him after his episode, and he'd been asleep ever since then. Hitting twelve hours now, it was the most he'd slept since he'd had the surgery to remove the shrapnel from his heart.
Her trip into her own sleep was interrupted but grunting, slowly growing louder. She opened her eyes to see Tony, still drugged, trying to get her attention. "Hey honey." She whispered. "I know you're groggy. Bruce gave you a sedative." He looked at the tube coming out from under the blanket leading up the tan bag labelled N.S. "The feeding tube isn't permanent. It's just for now."
He only looked more distressed after that. He tried to move his hand, only to discover that he couldn't due to the restraints. He tried again with the other one, only to have the same results. He tried to speak, but all that came out was a whine that almost sounded childlike. "I know. It's just for now." She spoke slowly, quietly as she moved herself to sit on the bed next to him, trying to avoid making note of how little of the bed he actually took up.
She took in his state: worn, weak, weathered, with a nasal cannula and a feeding tube, restrained and drugged so he wouldn't hurt himself again in his fevered state, the most helpless eyes she had ever seen. He didn't look like her fiancé, but he was. She thought the love of her life was gone, but he wasn't. She wasn't going to question the condition that she got him back in. She'd take care of him and when he was glued back together he'd take care of her too. They had the rest of their lives to take care of each other now. She ran her fingers through his hair, humming, lulling him back to sleep. "Shh...it's not permanent. It's all just for now."
"Here." Carol handed the glowing liquid to Bruce. "It's a clothrian elixir. Should help him get some more energy back and help with the weight gain being more balanced since there's been muscle atrophy at this point." She explained. "You're his wife?"
"Fiancé." Pepper corrected, not bothering to take her eyes of him for more than a second. Carol sat down as Bruce prepared the elixir. "We were supposed to get married a week ago."
Carol nodded with a sad smile. "I think at this point you can call yourself his wife."
"Pep?" His voice was quiet, but there. He squeezed her hand to try to get her attention.
"Hey, hey baby I'm here. You passed out, but you're getting medicine now." She watched his face contort. "I know, Bruce can you up the pain medication please?"
"Nebula--where's Nebula?" He asked. "Pep, she doesn't have anybody."
Pepper had to bite her lip to avoid crying at that. Of course, he'd be worrying about the murderous alien that he had spent a few weeks stranded in space with. His heart was too damn big. It was one of the main reasons she had fallen in love with him all those years ago. "Nebula's in the other room; getting some sleep." She explained. “I’ll make sure someone tells her that you’re awake.”
He took a deep breath before exhaling shakily, trying to steady himself. "The kid's aunt. We gotta talk to the kid's aunt. She deserves to know that he was fighting back when it happened." He gulped before starting again, voice cracking. "He did good Pep. She needs to know that he did good. She needs to know how good he was."
She nodded, kissing his hand. "I'll call her as soon as I can."
"No." Carol stood watching the two of them. "I'll contact her and bring her here. You two get some rest."
"Thank you. For everything.” Tony said. “I'm sorry for what you saw back there. I wasn’t exactly--"
"Don't worry about it. I've seen worse. I'd say it was appropriate after getting stabbed, losing your kid, then getting stranded in space."
Tony grimaced. "He wasn't--"
Carol shook her head in the way that only made sense for someone like her. Someone who loved a little girl, who although now grown, would always be her daughter regardless of where she came from. Someone loving someone in a way that would never make sense unless you were in their shoes. Tony blinked away tears, understanding what Carol meant. "Get some rest." She left the room.
“I like her.” He said lightly, preparing himself for what came next. "Bruce...you've been quiet." Tony said looking at his friend.
"I'm a quiet guy." Tony scoffed. Bruce was a terrible liar. He was quieter than Tony, hell everyone was quieter than Tony, but this wasn't his usual quiet. He was biting his tongue, watching every word. He was hiding something. Something big.
"Yeah, but you're also not telling me something. What is it?"
Bruce sighed. "Tony..." He checked the medicine bags one more time before sitting down. "We found Thanos. We thought that we could use the stones like he did to bring everyone back. But...."
Pepper had started rubbing circles into her fiancé’s palm, a futile attempt to steady him. She knew that this wasn’t going to go well, whatever it was. "But what? Spit it out."
"He had destroyed them Tony. They're gone. Thor killed him, but they're gone."
Surprisingly, Tony didn't scream or sob. He barely even responded. Instead, he turned his head to Pepper. "Pepper, when can we get out of here?" He asked, eerily calm.
"Not for a week at least." She answered, her and Bruce surveying each other.
"I'm...I'm done. I'm finished. I need to be finished. Just me and you, we'll buy that house on the lake and get away from all of this. I...I can't take this anymore." His voice finally cracked, before breaking into quiet crying. "I'm done. I can't do this anymore." He repeated.
She re-positioned herself onto the bed, pulling him into an embrace. "Shh…you don't have to." She kissed the top of his head. "You'll never have to again."
Pepper didn't feel right saying that he grew stronger in the coming week, only that he improved physically. While he still looked emaciated, he had gained a pound or two. He was on the right track. Talking to May Parker had led to two days of alternating sobbing and silence. He had held it together at first, telling May that Peter had been brave and fought hard and that he had even gotten close to getting the gauntlet off himself. May had thanked him for trying to protect Peter and had reassured him that it wasn't his fault, that she was glad he wasn't alone when it happened.
Pepper had exchanged numbers with her to make sure that they were able to keep in touch. Money was no object. Anything she needed for Peter's funeral was hers. Anything she needed so that she could take time off work. She was their family now and they were hers. Happy seemed to be a solid shoulder for her to lean on, having bonded with Peter enough to care but remaining distant enough to still be able to put his own grief aside as opposed to Tony, who had lost it the second he finished telling her what happened and hadn't regained control since.
He confessed that he hadn't told May the whole truth after she left. Peter was afraid. Peter was terrified. Peter had cried. Peter could feel it happening. Peter knew he was dying. He hadn't wanted to burden the grieving mother more than she already was. Tony wanted May to imagine Peter living his final moments as a fearless hero rather than child clinging to a trembling man for comfort. "Pep, he just vanished, crying in my fucking arms." He had said it over and over and she had nothing to do but hold him and lie about how everything would be better soon.
The lake house was still on the market, and she bought it without a second thought. She put out a press release, saying that Tony Stark had returned gravely injured and would be unable to comment publicly himself. She knew he'd hate the release painting him as weak, but she decided on his behalf. Like Carol had said, she may as well be his wife already. She couldn’t protect him from the end of the world, but she could at least shield him from an insensitive media that wanted a scapegoat for the apocalypse. That much she could do.
Once he was able to stand up and walk around on his own, Bruce discharged him. He was still on a strict regime of painkillers, antibiotics, re-feeding protocols, and some sort of alien concoction that actually had helped him regain muscle mass faster. Goodbyes were said, and plans were made with Natasha and Bruce to stay in touch, although it seemed that Bruce had a long-term experiment planned which would keep him out of contact for quite some time. "You sure you don't want to talk to Cap?" James asked as he helped him into the car. Tony shook his head. "Okay, I'll be at your place Wednesday after my meeting with the National Guard. Make sure you have at least one sofa by then." His voice was heavy, just like the silence as he wanted for a quip from the younger man that never came. "You got him Pepper?" She nodded. She'd always have him.
The lake house was sparsely decorated when they arrived, only having a kitchen table with a few chairs and their bed from their condo in New York moved into their bedroom. She figured that the familiarity of the mattress would help him readjust. The home was as beautiful as she remembered, she only wished that they had moved in like they had planned. It would have been after their wedding, he'd carry her over the threshold just to make a point. They'd have friends still sleeping on the sofas when they left for their honeymoon. They'd eat leftover wedding cake and joke about the tiny humans that would run around the house.
Instead, they ate quietly, holding hands. Eventually Tony broke the silence. "I want to get married." He said. "Happy got ordained years ago. We'll have it here."
"Wednesday, when James is here." He took another bite of his pasta. "We can get married by the lake. It's supposed to be beautiful that afternoon."
It was a bittersweet affair. Dressed casually with only Happy, James, May, Nebula, and Natasha in attendance, they exchanged rings by the lake and shared a cake make from a boxed mix and a frozen lasagna with their guests. There were no gifts, no dances, no absurdly embarrassing best man speech with stories of a lanky teenaged Tony at MIT. Just the quiet comfort of knowing that life wasn't truly over unless they let it be over. Within the pain, there was still happiness to be found.
After everyone had left, they fell back into bed for the first time since he had returned, finally strong enough to have her again the way they both needed. If he held her too tightly, as if he needed to keep her from fading away, and if she fell asleep with her ear to his heart, because she needed to feel his breathing, neither said it out loud. It's only after that he mentioned Peter, having gone the whole day with the grief still in the back of his throat. "Peter would have been a groomsman. I didn't get a chance to ask him." He whispered into the darkness.
She placed a kiss to the scar in the middle of his chest, as if she could repair his broken heart from the outside. "He would have loved that." She felt him gulp before tightening his arm around her. "He knew how much you loved him. He would have been honored." She feels something wet on her hair. She doesn't say anything. He knows she can feel it.
It's a week later she realizes that she hasn't had a period since before Tony went to space. She tries to attribute it to the stress, but the fact that she and Tony had moved into the “not particularly trying to get pregnant but also not actively trying to not get pregnant” territory before Thanos, she has a feeling it's not stress. A pregnancy test and an ultrasound prove that she's about ten weeks along, meaning that he had been right that morning before the world fell apart.
He smiles when she tells him. They laugh. For a moment, things look up. Maybe they can still have the life they had dreamed off. They had always been damaged parts, fitting together in a way that completed each other’s jagged edges. He understood her neuroses and her strength in a way that no one else ever had. She understood his vulnerabilities and his soul in a way that he had never imagined being understood. So, when she panicked about bringing a child into the world in its current lawless state, Tony was there kissing her cheeks and reminding her that their daughter's world would be one of love and security within their home, where she would need it most. When he doubled over and clenched his fists, grieving a son that he felt he had no right to grieve and agonizing how he'd be able to protect his child when he had already failed another, she was there to help him off the floor and remind him that she was going to be protecting this child too.
It was storming when Pepper when into labor, so much so that they were unable to reach the hospital or even contact the doctor as the power had gone out. Morgan Stark was born by candlelight and the warmth of the fireplace with only the words of her father and the power of her mother to bring her into this world.
The three of them remained on the floor together for hours, the adults staring at the tiny life that they had managed to create sleeping soundly on her mother's chest, completely unaware of the extinction which had taken place only months before. After all this destruction, something new was born. Something wonderful.
"Hope." Pepper said as Tony braided her sweaty hair. The bun had been too tight at this point, and he had decided that a loose braid would keep the hair out of her face more effectively anyway.
Tony cocked his head. "I thought we had already decided to name her Morgan. Not that I'm going to argue with the goddess who just managed to bring my daughter in the world. You could declare you want to name her Ursula and I'd go with it."
Pepper smiled widely. His sarcastic voice had returned. "No, Tony, for her middle name. After all that's happened, she's our hope. I mean, just look outside."
He jokingly threw his hands up in defeat. "Fine but if I have to look away from this angel it better be good." He groaned dramatically, lifting his head off the floor to look out the window. "It's over. The storm cleared." He looked back her with a smirk. "I see what you mean there. There's sun again." He brought himself back down to pull his girls as close as he could, kissing the elder as he did. "Morgan Hope Stark. I like it."
"We're going to be okay." She whispered, before kissing him again. "We're going to be okay."
And they were okay, at least for a little while.