Chapter Text
"C'mon guys! Dance with us!" Even though she was talking to all of them, the blue-haired girl, Rika, looked at Soushi intensely.
"Yeah!" Maya said. "It's a party! You can't just sit here talking the whole time."
Yeong-Gi didn't answer; he was too distracted watching Min-Hyuk, who was now holding Shin-ae's hands and pretending to tango with her while she was still in her seat.
"Okay." Dieter mumbled and stepped out from against the cabinet he was leaning against to stand with the girls.
"Yes!" Maya crowed.
"Soushi?" Rika asked.
Dieter smiled. He looked down at Soushi expectantly, his eyebrows raised.
Dude, you got this, Soushi thought. You gotta get Shin-ae out there, not me.
"Nah, I'm good," he said, crossing his arms and leaning back into his chair. He smiled at Dieter.
Rika stiffened. "Okay, fine. But I'm taking your hat hostage. Consider it payment for my stained shirt." Quicker than lightning, she reached out and plucked the maroon hat off his head.
"Hey!" he said, jumping off his stool and lunging for his hat. "Give that back!" She stepped back out of his reach.
"If you want it, you can reclaim it on the dance floor," she taunted. She jammed the hat on her head and spun on her heel, ready to saunter off, and Soushi saw red.
"I said , give that BACK!"
Soushi yanked the hat from Rika's head. Tendrils of hair clung to the soft hat, mussing her hair into a wispy halo around her head as he pulled it off.
She swiveled back to look at him, stopping short when she saw the rage on his face. "Oh," she said, clutching her face like she had been slapped. "I just—I didn't—I'm sorry." Her voice was small. She looked like she was shrinking in on herself, like she was trying to vanish in the middle of the room—which was completely impossible since all eyes were on them, thanks to his shout.
Soushi felt a strange twisting feeling in his gut, almost like guilt. Her eyes were shining like a kicked puppy. He stomped that feeling down, smothering it with his anger. She had no right to take his stuff from him. He was only sticking up for himself.
He frowned at her. He didn't need to yell anymore at her. Not with everyone looking. "Don't touch my stuff."
He turned his back to her and went back over to Yeong-Gi and Dieter.
Dieter cleared his throat awkwardly, tugging at the collar of his sweater. "Uh, Soushi?"
"Can you believe that chick?" Soushi said, jamming his hat back on his head, trying to resume his casual slouch in the chair. He could see Maya and Shin-ae had stepped over to Rika, huddled together and talking. Soushi squinted at them, trying to hear what they were saying, since it was obviously about him—Shin-ae kept looking back at him. Maya was smoothing Rika's hair down, and Rika's eyes wouldn't leave her shoes.
Eventually Maya and Rika peeled away and walked up the stairs, presumably to the bedrooms. His eyes followed them as they went, and he crossed his arms, trying again to squash down that feeling of guilt in the pit of his stomach. What the hell. He had no reason to feel guilty. She was the one taking his stuff. He was just getting it back.
Trying to distract himself, he looked around the room and found Kousuke, who was leaning against the counter, holding a drink, and looking back at him impassively. Soushi immediately flashed back to another time when Kousuke looked at him like that, standing in the rain. His mood darkened even further. Smug bastard.
He scowled at Kousuke, but Kousuke's gaze was already elsewhere, softened—Shin-ae was walking over to talk to him. To discuss what just happened, no doubt. Did Shin-ae know his pathetic history? Did Kousuke tell her?
Dieter cleared his throat again, drawing Soushi's attention back to his friends. He stood up quickly. Time to redirect this stupid circus . "So, should we see if this guy has any video games?"
Dieter opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it abruptly. He looked at Yeong-Gi.
"Dude," Yeong-Gi said. "You didn't have to yell at her. She wasn't trying to steal your stuff. She was flirting with you."
"What?" Soushi's voice came out a croak. That stomach-twisting feeling that was definitely not guilt rose higher, clawing at his chest, batting uncomfortably at a slight flutter of butterflies.
Flirting with me? Really? He thought back to her intense blushing. And how she hadn't lost her shit when he accidentally splattered sauce all over her nice shirt…
But then he remembered the assholes from middle school. How they ripped the money from his hands; how they tore his leather jacket from his body, not caring how they twisted his arms in the process; how they kicked him while he was down.
No. He had promised himself he would never let that happen again.
And no, he couldn't believe that somebody actually thought he was worth something.
He had nobody.
Dieter and Yeong-Gi—they didn't really count, right? Since he was only pretending for Kousuke's money. Sure, he had fun, and he didn't always tell Kousuke when they were hanging out. But who was he kidding? Real friends don't get paid to hang out with each other. Hell, they probably were getting something too. Who knows what Kousuke offered them.
He took a step back, away from them, trying not to look back at Kousuke.
No, he really had nobody, aside from his sisters.
He looked up at Yeong-Gi, his jaw set. He stopped trying to tamp his anger down. He didn't want to deal with this shit. Not now, not ever. So he just let it all rise up inside him until it burned out that gut-wrenching guilt completely. And then he let it evaporate, replacing it, like he always did, with humor.
He laughed loudly. "Flirting? You're so full of it, Yeong-Gi." He punched Yeong-Gi's shoulder playfully, grinning widely. "C'mon, let's get out of here. It's still early. Maybe we can hit up karaoke or something."
Yeong-Gi and Dieter looked at each other. Dieter shrugged.
"Alright," Yeong-Gi said, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
Dieter and Yeong-Gi said their goodbyes to Shin-ae, while Soushi put on his coat and shoes, waving at her from the door. Then he pulled open the door and stepped out into the cool night.