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There are things that Peter would never forget, no matter how much he wished he could. Losing his uncle Ben at a young age and watching Aunt May cry when she thought he wasn’t looking. Becoming Spiderman and losing the corrosive shield of blissful ignorance by doing nothing when responsibility deems otherwise. Losing friends because he caught their father becoming a criminal mastermind. Losing other friends because of college, time, general separation that comes with growing up and moving on with one’s life.
There were also things he would never forget, and these were the ones he didn’t want to. Every time he made Aunt May proud and she told him so; becoming Ned and MJs friend. Becoming Spiderman, despite all the responsibility and everyone he had helped since then. Meeting Mister Stark and learning more from the supergenius than he ever thought possible. Graduating high school and getting accepted into every college he applied for and staying close by so that May would have company. Meeting Deadpool and, after a time, convincing Wade not to kill people. His and Wade’s first kiss almost two years after their first meeting. Being pulled along into outer space and made an official member of the Avengers before arriving on Titan, and there is where he would have to stop because dying on a planet in outer space wasn’t one of those things he wanted to remember and he hoped one day he would forget.
It was strange, sure, to be there one minute and turning to dust in the next, but it didn’t hurt. Peter didn’t want to go, but as he disappeared he found peace in the blackness, no more pain and no more hurting. He could rest there, in the darkness, because his work was done. His conscious refused to let him think of the injustice of Thanos’ snap, those he left behind, or the work that was left unfinished. He was unable to comprehend what to do now the Stones had been used in such a final way. Peter’s life was over; there would be no more, and no less.
Only...it wasn’t the end.
Somehow, he would find out later, of course just how exactly, but the snap was reversed. He reformed on the same planet he had left only moments, seconds ago to see Doctor Strange and the other Guardians patting themselves down to make sure everything was where it was supposed to be. Doctor Strange gave them all a once-over, as if to make sure they were all accounted for, before he turned lastly to Peter and gave him a level, searching look.
“It’s been five years. The others need us, we must go.”
Five years.
All at once they seemed to slam into Peter with a weight of a thousand Long Island ferries at once. Aunt May, Ned and MJ, Wade, Mister Stark. What had happened to all of them?
Peter swallowed his nerves as best he could and readied himself to join the Doctor and others as the wizard created a portal to get them back to earth. They left Titan behind and walked right into the fray. It took a considerable effort, but Peter decided there would be time to think ‘what happened’ after they had defeated the Thanos who never collected the stones on his own, but who had the easier task of taking them from the Avengers instead.
Peter rescued the gauntlet from Clint and tried to make his way to that ugly van with California plates, but was bogged down by alien warriors. He clung to the glove with all of his might, feeling the power of the stones humming throughout the damaged metal greave in Stark colors. He clung to it until, behind his closed eyes, he could feel and see the blinding light of Captain Marvel as she arrived to get the glove from him. After a quick introduction, he handed it off to her and watched as she moved through the crowded battlefield to get the glove back to the van.
What happened was over in seconds, but Peter swore he could feel the time slow down. Thanos’ weapon destroyed the quantum tunnel. The fight over the glove between Thor, Steve, Thanos, and finally Tony. Tony putting the glove on.
Peter wanted to call out in warning. There was no way he would survive the sheer power of the Stones, but it was too late.
Tony snapped his fingers, and the world around them went still, even as Mister Stark collapsed in a rush of radiation and Infinite power. Peter started to clamber his way over the rubble of the old Avengers compound while aliens, Thanos’ minions, and even the Titan himself began to disappear much the same way Peter had only minutes before. Only it had been years, he reminded himself, and this time there would be no bringing Thanos or any of them back.
Peter stopped by Tony and felt his throat already thickening with the tears he knew would fall soon. Pepper came up behind him along with a few others as they all saw Tony struggling with what they could recognize as his final moments. Peter tried to tell him it would be alright but he could see in Tony’s eyes that he knew the truth of it.
He didn’t know what the other man had lost or gained in the five years since he’d left. Peter had had every intention of finding out once this was over, but now he wouldn’t ever hear Mister Stark tell him to mind his own business again. Peter watched Pepper comfort Tony in his final moments and then it was over. The light on Tony’s chest flickered and went out as his hand went limp and slid down to remain motionless.
The tears started to spill over his cheeks but Peter didn’t care. He had loved Mister Stark almost like a surrogate parent, but definitely as a mentor and teacher. Rhodey went to comfort Pepper and Peter was left standing alone as the others began to try and help find the wounded or dying and begin the long road to recovery.
Peter wanted to forget that moment; the one where he stood watching Steve, Pepper, and the others crying over their friend and a man who would never, could never, be replaced. He wanted to forget it, to bring Tony back, but there was no way.
It was done, finished, and Peter did what he could to help once his tears slowed to a sniffle, and then--after a long night of helping with the wounded and collecting the dead--Peter turned and started the long walk back to Queens.
Wade hadn’t handled surviving very well.
He died a hundred times a month, why wouldn’t he have died for good this time? Yellow suggested that he would regenerate no matter what, so of course that’s why he survived again. White said it was just his dumb luck. Wade hated both of them and the writers for making him suffer like this, along with all the others who became known as those left behind.
He realized something was wrong when the mark he was after just disintegrated right in front of him without Wade even doing anything. He’d sworn and checked around for any poisons that would make a person literally vaporize in front of his eyes, but there had been nothing. He’d gotten a handle on things being really very wrong when he’d arrived back at the airport in Medellín and realized there were a lot of confused and upset looking people and a whole lot of unattended baggage.
Wade had gone over to the television and figured out the news broadcast was reporting that a mass disappearance had occurred and no one knew why. Wade knew something was cosmically fucked up in that alone, but he didn’t begin to panic yet. It was fucked up, but Wade had seen a lot of fucked up shit in his time.
He arrived back in New York after a stop in Miami, where he’d learned from a talking CNN head that the world’s population seemed to have been affected and it wasn’t just South America. Wade felt a little drizzle of panic seep down his spine, but he was sure it was fine. He turned his phone back on while waiting at the gate in Miami and was bombarded with texts and alerts that he hadn’t risked international data charges for and saw it had been a day or so since his Petey Pie had texted. Wade shot off a message to him saying that he would see him soon, before he flipped through the rest of his emails and messages as the rest of the plane began to board.
Weasel was quick enough to reply saying that he was okay and then called him a motherfucker for not answering sooner. Dopinder and Negasonic didn’t reply, which Deadpool didn’t find odd at all, except that he did because the two of them were practically glued to their phones. Colossus and Blind Al didn’t reply, but Wade was less surprised about that one. To be a smartass, Wade shot off a lame ‘still clawing?’ to Logan and wondered if spikey would reply any time soon. Wade put his phone on airplane mode and relaxed as a much-less crowded than normal flight began to leave Florida and head north back home.
He dozed a little on the flight, not much, but enough to feel a little more rested by the time the jet touched down at JFK. He turned his phone back on when the stewardess gave the okay and saw that he had only received just two replies from his earlier inquiries.
One from Logan, which was succinct enough: ‘Fuck off Wade’. Yellow suggested he take that to mean that spikey was happy enough that Wade was still alive and they could continue their relationship of ignoring of one another with acute hostility in one another’s presence.
And one from Colossus that brought less welcome news and put a heavy stone into Wade’s gut. Negasonic, Hank, and Scott are gone. Trying to confirm the others that were not at house. Glad you are okay Wade.
Negasonic was gone. He didn’t much care for Beasty or the Monocle, but he had liked the girl, a lot. Wade sent another message to Peter before grabbing his bag and disembarking the plane. It was surreal at how quickly he escaped the airport due to the emptiness of it compared to normal. Where there should have been a crush of people, there was a steady stream all zombie-like making their way to where they were headed. He heard far too many sniffles for his liking, and Wade did his best to ignore the fact his phone was not buzzing with a message from Petey.
Wade had gotten home fine enough with the less traffic and clusters of people on the subway. He hadn’t even gotten any wild looks from those who had seen his face under his hood. He hadn’t bothered to suit up and he may as well not have anyway. It seemed with the shock of the mass disappearance, no one really cared about the guy with the fucked up face. Yellow was crass: ‘less traffic and no one cares about your face? Apocalypse is lit!’ Wade ignored his box and noticed that once again white was silent.
He didn’t begin to panic until after he had unpacked, had some dinner at the taco truck (thank God Carlos was still there), and still no word from Peter. Wade made his way over the bridge into Queens and swung by May’s place where his baby boy still lived because everyone knows what rent was like in the City these days, and he paused when he saw Peter’s darkened room. Wade checked his Adventure Time™ digital watch and confirmed what he’d dreaded; Peter should be out of class and home by now. He should be at his desk doing boring shit, like homework, and about to swing out and meet up with Wade somewhere on the rooftops. But Peter’s room was dark except for a small lamp that Wade knew to be his bedside table. Quietly, Wade moved over on the fire escape to look inside and saw something that broke his heart.
May was sitting on Peter’s bed, a photo album on the bed next to her, and she was sobbing into one of Petey’s shirts. His favorite one, in fact, not that Wade knew that or anything.
Carefully, but loud enough to let her know he was there, Wade slid open the window and started to clamber inside. He heard May’s gasp before her smothered sob coated his name as she started to rise from the bed. Wade didn’t speak, but silently moved over to her with his arms open. May slid into them and clung to him as tightly as she had been holding onto his shirt. Yellow and White were silent as Wade stared straight out the window of Peter’s bedroom, holding tight to Peter’s aunt as her tears soaked the material of his suit.
He didn’t ask what happened; that much was obvious. He didn’t want the details. Before he left, many hours later, he let May know that she could contact him for anything at all, and then he left the same way he’d come. Down the fire escape ladder, down the street, and toward the subway.
Aunt May didn’t need to know that Wade stepped in front of the E train on the way home. Or that he threw himself off the Empire State Building the next day. Or the Brooklyn Bridge the day after that. No, Aunt May didn’t need to know that Wade tried at least once a day for several months to kill himself and make it stick.
She didn’t need to know that no matter how hard he tried, he just never could stay dead.
Peter looked around at the empty apartment in shock. He’d never seen it so empty. The furniture was gone, the wall paper had peeled, the windows were boarded up. It wasn’t the only building like this; Peter had seen a hundred of them or more as he’d swung into the City, and more so in his old neighborhood. It seemed those who had survived had all packed up and moved closer in on Manhattan to make their lives easier now that there was so much more room. It was like an abandoned war zone, and, in a way, Peter guessed that it was. But with the old apartment being devoid of life, Peter had no way of knowing where Aunt May had gone.
He knew at the very least that she was alive; Captain--Steve--had caught his arm before he’d gotten far from the battle and said that Aunt May had survived the snap. She even had gone to his meetings a few times. What meetings? Peter had wondered but hadn’t asked because he’d thanked the man and had continued on his way, seeing the surprised and shocked faces of those resuscitated from death as he swung toward the City. There would be time, later, to get explanations and hear the stories, but right now all he wanted were the two people he loved most in the world, and then to find Ned and MJ as well to make sure they were alright.
How had it been five years? It had felt like no time at all, but no, these people had suffered and lived without them all. They had had to move on and there, on that thought, did Peter give pause.
What if… What if Wade had moved on? What if a new superhero in tight spandex came and caught the merc’s attention in Peter’s place? What if Wade had a new fanboy obsession with someone else? Or what if it was just a normal person, but Wade had moved on like the others had tried to? What if he didn’t love Peter anymore? Or worse, what if Peter’s return from the grave was just too weird for even Wade to handle?
Peter went out and sat on the fire escape and thought it over.
Not for a second did he believe that Wade hadn’t survived. If Aunt May did, then surely the one person in the world who could regenerate himself back to life a hundred different ways would be able to survive Thanos’ snap. So, assuming Wade had survived, how would he have handled things in Peter’s absence?
Peter grimaced. He guessed not well. It had been his love for Spiderman that had convinced Wade to not un-alive people, and without that positive influence… Peter wasn’t sure that Wade wouldn’t go right back to his old ways. Or worse.
He paused when he thought he heard something behind him. Peter glanced over his shoulder and looked back into the apartment just in time to see the door opening. He was halfway to standing when he saw Aunt May enter the apartment, looking around everywhere before she finally looked out the window.
“Oh, Peter!” Aunt May collapsed against the door and Peter rushed inside to catch her before she could slide down. She cupped his face in her hands while staring into his face before she pulled him into a hug. “Oh, Peter. I came as soon as the news realized what had happened. I thought you’d come back here.”
Peter hugged his aunt as tightly as she had him and he was so glad that she was alive and in obvious good health, if not a bit skinnier than he remembered. She walked with him out to the fire escape and sat down since it was the only place left to do so. They weren’t the only ones returning to the neighborhood, Peter noticed. Others were coming home and looking hopeful and there were a few reunions starting too.
“Will you tell me what happened?” Peter asked quietly. “During...all that time?”
May’s hand went through his hair and she gave him a smile. “Peter, I’ll tell you anything you want to hear. I’m just so glad you’re home.” She pulled him into another hug and he could tell from the shake of her shoulders that she was crying again. Peter hugged her and decided that his questions could wait until later, apart from one.
“Did… Is…” He started twice and then blurted out, “Where’s Wade?”
He felt May pause before she began to pull back. Peter swallowed at the look on her face.
“Is he…?”
“He’s alive, or at least he was the last time I saw him.”
“When was that?”
May paused and obviously had to think. “About three years ago? I think. It was around the same time the memorial went up in Central Park. He and I and Ned went to leave flowers at your name. Wade left you a taco.” She smiled a little there, before she looked back to his eyes. “He said I could call him if I ever needed anything and then I never saw him again.”
Peter remained quiet while he thought that over. May brushed some of his hair behind his ear and continued.
“He used to come around weekly when...when it first happened. I think...Peter, I think just seeing your name on that stone did something to him. He wasn’t the same after you’d gone.”
“Has he been in the news or anything? Any idea where he could have gone?” Peter asked looking at her. He had to swallow a couple times to get the lump out of his throat at the idea that Wade truly hadn’t taken his absence well.
May looked apologetically at him before she shook her head. “I’m sorry, Pete. Like I said, I’ve not heard from him in a long time.”
Peter kept it to himself, but there was part of him that hoped Wade would come to the apartment like May had once he realized that everyone was back. He let May fuss over him a little and listened as she began to talk about what had happened while he’d been gone. He didn’t tell her about Mister Stark or any of the battle.
There would be plenty of time for that later.
Told ya we should’ve come back sooner.
“Well it was a little hard to know that everyone in the Universe was gonna zombie it up the same weekend we decide to go put a stop to that guy in the Amazon.”
Yes, but now Peter has worried unnecessarily for three days thinking you fell off a cliff and didn’t come back this time.
“Yeah, but fuck that guy for using the rainforest as his own personal pet shop. Seriously, who thinks a pet jaguar is a good idea?”
No one. You should shut up and go inside.
Yes, but knock first.
Wade took a deep breath and pushed past his boxes and knocked on the window for Peter’s bedroom in the old Queen’s apartment.
It was obvious that they had been moving back in, but it was also obvious that it would be Peter’s own place. Wade knew from keeping an eye on May without her knowing that she, like so many others, had moved to Manhattan when it made more sense for them to do so. Less commute, less traffic, lots of open apartments, a fresh start for a lot of people? What wasn’t to like? Wade briefly wondered what all those poor fuckers would be doing now that their homes’ original owners were back to claim their property. He smirked a little to himself and shook his head as a shadow began to grow larger in the gloom of the darkened bedroom.
Peter’s head poked out a moment later. It was after sundown and the street lamps were on; the orange glistened off his hair and Wade had never seen anyone more beautiful.
“Wade?” Peter whispered and Wade thought he could see the boy’s eyes glimmering a little too much for his liking.
“Petey.” Wade moved out of the shadows and stood in front of Peter and kept his mask up. He watched Peter look him over and then a smile broke across Peter’s face even as the tears slid down his cheeks.
Peter made grabbing motions for him but Wade gestured for him to get back as he climbed in the fire escape. He had just set two feet on the floor when Peter threw himself in his arms. Wade let himself be hugged and he was still trying to come to terms with so much sensation at one time. The feel of how warm, how solid Peter was in his arms...the smell of his shampoo, the sound of his happy cries...Wade even could imagine the salinity of his tears. He was back. Peter was back.
But now there was a problem, and it was Wade’s fault.
“Wade?” Peter asked, sniffling and taking a step back. His eyes were confused, guarded a little and Wade tried to snap himself out of it. “Are you--Are you okay?”
“Peaches and cream.”
“Then… Is it me?”
A scoff. “Of course it’s you, Petey.”
Wade watched him flinch and immediately look away. Idiot! Don’t just stand there! Wade shook his head.
“That’s not what I meant, Petey pie.”
“No, I get it. It’s weird. I mean, ex-boyfriend coming back from the--well, I have no idea where I was--but it’s weird. I get it. You moved on. You don’t need the friendly neighborhood Spid--”
Deadpool’s eyes were narrowed and Peter was looking at him with a trace of fear in his eyes. Deadpool’s finger rested over Peter’s lips and the bigger man was all up in his space. Peter wouldn’t have minded if this was Wade but it was so very clearly Deadpool right now.
“I never moved on.” Deadpool backed him further into the bedroom. Peter’s senses were tingling. “As far as I’m concerned, you’re only my ‘ex’ if you want to be.”
“Then where were you?” Peter whispered. “It’s been three days.”
Told you so.
Deadpool’s threat had lessened and Wade was back, but he was quiet now. His finger had moved away from Peter’s lips to come cradle his head instead. His gloved thumb brushed along Peter’s cheek.
“I was working. And when I was finished working, I came home and stared at a wall for a day and a half.” Peter frowned at that explanation but remained quiet, only voicing a sound of protest when Wade withdrew his hand and took a step back.
“What the fuck was I supposed to say to you, Pete? You died.” The mask’s eyes were wide and white. Peter swallowed again. “You were just...gone. I didn’t know what had happened to you, only that you weren’t going to come back. I didn’t want it to be true. And then, just as quick as you’d gone,” Wade snapped his fingers, “Poof! You’re back. You and everyone else who disappeared, back in a flash, as if it never happened. What the fuck was I supposed to say?”
“You didn’t have to say anything, Wade. I just wanted you here.”
Wade smiled sadly under the mask. “But don’t you see, Petey? Can’t you see? I was scared to death of you.”
Peter grimaced again. “Too zombie movie?”
Wade shook his head. “More like too scared to have you disappear again.”
Peter went quiet again and watched Wade who had moved over to sit on Peter’s bed. Wade placed his hands on his knees and drummed his fingers on them while he waited for Peter to think over what he’d said.
“Wade?”
“What?”
“Will you take your mask off please?” There was a pause before Wade complied. Peter nodded his thanks and moved over to sit next to him. “Are you still afraid of losing me?”
Wade looked over into Peter’s eyes. “Terrified, Pete.” And it was true. He didn’t know what he would do if Peter disappeared again.
Peter took his hand and gave his fingers a light squeeze. “I can’t promise something crazy won’t ever happen again, but I can tell you that Thanos is gone for good this time. He isn’t coming back. His army is destroyed. The Stones are back where they are supposed to be. I don’t think I’ll be going dusty again any time soon.”
“What do the Rolling Stones have to do--”
“Wade!”
Wade smiled a little before pulling Peter’s hand closer to his lips and kissing the back of it lightly. “Alright Petey pie. Alright. I’m sorry about not being here.”
“I’m sorry for leaving you.” Peter looked sad again and so Wade pulled him closer by the hip.
“I know how you can start making it up to me.”
“Oh? How’s that?”
Wade smiled and leaned over to kiss him. Peter sighed into his mouth before leaning closer and kissing him back with all the love he could show for five years’ absence. Wade hauled him over into his lap and held him against his chest.
“I love you, Peter Spiderman Parker.”
Peter kept his arms looped around Wade’s neck. “And I love you, Wade Deadpool Wilson.”
“More than tacos?”
Peter smiled. “More than tacos.”
Wade made a show of considering that answer before stealing another kiss or two.
They fell back onto Peter’s bed and lay close together, chest to chest, as the night slowly crept by. Just before he was about to drift off asleep, Peter made a mental note to never forget this moment. The one where Wade and he had been reunited.
The morning would find them wrapped in one another’s arms with a smile on both of their faces and ready to begin their new life together.