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well i suppose a friend is a friend.

Chapter 4: i want him but were not right

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When Tom and Tord finally got home, Tom went straight to his room and hadn’t come out the rest of the night. Edd knew better than to go bother him. However, he asked Tord what happened on their little “trip” but Tord just told him everything was fine, and left it at that. Edd couldn’t say too many changed over the next week or so, although some things did. Tom was spending more time in Tord’s room when Edd thought about it. They weren’t always talking, but sometimes they were. Sometimes Tom just sat on Tord’s bed and watched him work without any conversation.

Edd knew it to be rude to listen in on them when they spoke, and he often left them alone. However, when he passed Tord’s room one day, he couldn’t help but overhear something odd.

”Tord, what happened to us?” Edd stopped.

”What do you mean?”

“I mean, what happened to us? We used to be really close. Whatever happened to that?” Tom sighed.

”You got drunk and naïve, and I got greedy and egotistical. I guess we just weren’t right for each other.” That made Tom laugh a bit.

”You say that as if we were dating,” Edd smiled at that. It did sound like that.

”Might as well have been, if I’m being honest,” Tom stopped laughing. Tord wasn’t joking, was he?

”What?” Edd peeked in through the crack in the door. Tord wasn’t looking at Tom.

”Might as well have been. We could have been friends, to lovers, to a happy couple. But we weren’t.”

Tom stared, ”Neither of us were—“

”Ready, I guess.” Tord finished, shrugging.

Edd backed away and decided it best to stop listening. Especially since their conversation was meant to be private in the first place. He continued down the hallway to his own bedroom, thinking. Had Tord really thought they could have been a good pair? Edd wouldn’t have  argued with him back in high school, but now it seemed more unlikely. However, not quite impossible. But, it still left him thinking.

««•»»

”Could we have worked?” Tom asked, leaning back on Tord’s bed.

”Maybe. We’ll never know, will we?” He sighed.

Tom shrugged, “We could.”

”Unlikely. Just look at us,” Tord turned to face Tom, he eyes tired. He yawned and continued, “You're you and I’m me. You’re beautiful. And you’re capable of so much, but you won’t act on that. And, I do act on it. But that also means you have time for others and don’t lock yourself in your room working away your life,” he gestured around them.

“Well, sometimes, we all need that kind of ambition.”

”Yeah, well, not to this extent,” Tord stood up and walked over to the bed, saying, “Move over.” Tom obliged and moved to make room for Tord to sit next to him. He leaned up against the wall and sighed.

“So, you really would have no hope in us?” Tom asked.

”I should have asked you out in year 11 when I had the chance, really,” he said, almost ignoring the question.

”For the experience, or were you really crushing on me?”

Tord looked over at him and laughed, “I was so in love with you in high school.”

”You grew out of that?”

”Not sure yet.” Everything went silent once again.

Tom got up, and started for the door, saying, “Tell me when you know for sure.” Tord nodded. As soon as Tom walked out the door, he went to close it, then turn the lights off.

It took an hour before he could fall asleep. He was too busy thinking about what they had said. Yes, he did regret not asking Tom out in high school. And, yes, he wasn’t entirely sure whether or not he still loved him. However, as he drifted off to sleep, he knew the answer.

««•»»

The next morning, all four sat down for breakfast and began discussing what their plans for the day were, as per usual. Edd noticed, however, how quiet Tord was being.

”Are you alright, Tord? You’ve hardly spoken,” he asked.

Tord looked up, startled almost, “Huh? Oh, I’m alright. Just thinking.”

”About what?” asked Matt.

”Something,” he left it at that. They continued eating, nearly forgetting that brief conversation. However, Tord spoke up again.

”Tom,” he started, everyone looking up at him, “I’ve been thinking. About what we spoke about last night.”

Tom looked up at him, “What about it? Not much needs to be said, really.”

”Actually, you did tell me to tell you the answer when I figured it out. And I think I’ve figured it out.” Tord set his fork down, and looked up at Tom, who was returning his gaze.

”And?” Edd and Matt looked between each other, confused.

”I still am,” Tord sighed.

”You still are,” Tom repeated.

”But I’m not sure if I want to do anything about it just yet. I don’t want to ask you out and put you in any sort of situation where you feel the need to answer me,” Tord smiled at him, “I’ll wait.” At this point, Edd understood a bit of what was happening, however, Matt was still clueless. Edd nudged his arm, whispering he would tell him later.

Tom smiles back, “You’re still in love with me, huh.” He was saying it to himself more, almost as if in disbelief. Tord nodded.

”Hopefully a day will come where I can say something about it. For now, let’s stick to what we've been doing.”

”Fighting?”

”Nah. I much prefer you waking my up at ungodly hours to drive you home,” he laughed, and Tom joined. Edd looked between them and smiled. This could end either very bad, or very well. For the sake of everyone, he hoped it would be the latter. And for the most part, it seemed to be just that.