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Kakyoin threw open the rest of the window. The heat finally becoming unbearable. He didn’t realize how much noise it must’ve made until he heard Jotaro shift in the bed over.
“Still awake?” He heard the gruff voice.
Kakyoin sighed softly, glancing over to him in the dark. He could still make out his sharp features just not all the beautiful details.
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
His brows furrowed. “Hot.” Was all He said. It wasn’t a lie.
Jotaro was quiet for another few moments. The sound of his sheets ruffling filling the room before the roughness of his voice. “And?”
He knew he didn’t have to answer. He knew he could just say nothing and try and sleep and the two of them wouldn’t talk about this again. It could end right here. Jotaro had no clue if he was lying, but for whatever reason Kakyoin answered.
“I’m sad.” He almost laughed at himself.
“Why?” Jotaro asked again.
A good question. One kakyoin didn’t even know the answer to himself. He turned again to look out the window. Feeling too vulnerable to look at Jotaro even if he couldn’t make out his eyes.
“Dunno.” His voice was muffled by the pillow. “It’s just been a constant thing that’s been with me. Like how I’ve always had my stand. I’ve always had this sadness with me.”
All Jotaro did was huff. Kakyoin wasn’t sure what to make of that.
It went quiet again, but he could still feel Jotaro’s eyes on him.
“Can I ask you something?”
Jotaro grunted in response.
Kakyoin was quiet for a while before finding the courage to talk. “If you died by the end of this trip, would you be okay with that?”
Jotaro didn’t answer. Not right away at least. A moment passed before he heard his voice again. “Doesn’t matter. I would be dead.”
Kakyoin couldn’t help the small laugh. He wasn’t really expecting anything different from the stoic man.
“How about you?”
It was something Kakyoin thought about a lot. A constant question in the back of his mind that he knew he needed to come to peace with at some point. Time was running out as much as he’d hate to admit it. Everything in front of him could be stripped away. Any moment, anywhere.
He let his eyes fall shut, not wanting to have the conversation anymore but something pulled at him to just tell Jotaro the truth.
“No.”
“Why?”
Kakyoin stayed quiet. He knew why. It wasn’t some secret. The past month had shown him more happiness than the past seventeen years he’s been alive has. Through many bizarre circumstances, he found himself in love. He found himself with friends he has no trouble calling family. Why would he be okay with letting that all fall from underneath him because of some petty vampire?
Times ticking. He knows that. The numbers are decreasing. Everything’s going to come to an end and he has to tell Jotaro how he feels soon. Has to tell him that most of the reason his answer was no is because of him. Right now just isn’t the time. The world will stop and everything will fall into place and then Kakyoin will tell Jotaro he’s in love with him.
For now, he just shifted to lay on his side.
“I finally feel at home.”