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He looked at his dim reflection in the mirror, he cursed as he hit it, not hard enough to smash the glass, but hard enough to leave a twinge in his hand. How could I have been so foolish?! He inwardly curses himself as he sees the tear stains left on his cheeks, his eyes glistening as even more tears threatened to fall down. He unclenched his hand as the crumpled photograph fell down into the sink, all of his hope falling along with it. As he watched the photograph slowly unfold, memories came flooding back, emotions rolling in like waves… emotions he longs to forget.
Their meeting was by chance, neither man knowing that by the end of the night they would both be leaving with new emotions and neither man knowing where it would lead. For one all it had been was a trip to the store, being caught in the rain was not a part of his plan. The other, had merely been out walking when the rain too, had caught him. It had seemed like fate that they had both sought for shelter in the same place. For the first few moments it had merely been awkward greetings and smiles, until he had broken the ice. He had sat down, and on chance it had happened to be a wet patch of seat, the look of horror had engulfed his face as he realised what he’d done, the other laughing at his misfortune, receiving a hurtful glance, he reached for the handkerchief in his pocket, offering it in apology. From that moment on, they were inseparable, they shared everything, their lives, their friends and eventually their home. Their life together had been perfect, until it wasn’t.
He started going out less, dedicating his life to him, forgetting his friends and family. His mind would scream at him on the lonely nights that he’s a fool, but his heart would drown them out, telling him that maybe he was just late from work, or maybe he got caught up with an old friend, maybe anything to make him feel less forgotten, less lonely. Soon enough he would stop getting asked to go out with his friends, they knew what the answer would be, texts from them becoming smaller and further apart until eventually it turned into nothing. He didn’t mind, as long as he had him he would be fine, he would be happy, he would make everything work. The bed began to get cold on those long nights, not heating up until early morning when the smell of drinks and cigarettes filled the room, sometimes the smell of another’s cologne could be found. On these long nights he would cry, cry because he knew the truth of everything, he knew that on those lonely nights it was only him, he knew what the silence of the house meant. He knew that soon, he would be forgotten by the man he loved and left behind as other had with him, but they haven’t left me, not really for he knew it had been himself who had driven away everyone.
He left everything he knew, everyone he loved for this man, and in return he had done nothing of the same, only coming home to use him in any way he pleased. He saw his future becoming narrow, the once bright light was now darkening and he knew why. He had stopped referring to his emotions as love, and instead devil, as that’s what it felt like, it felt like the devil was playing with his heart, pulling him in only to shatter it with a single touch. He knew he couldn’t leave him, those eyes too bright, those lips too sweet and that touch too soothing, but the words were harsh and soon even the sweetest things turned evil as his lips became rougher, his touch became violent and his eyes became dark, but still, he could not leave the only man he had ever loved. He could feel himself slowly dimming and fading away, his breath became shorter as the tears fell, until one day they stopped.
He grabbed everything he owned and left. His once best friend became surprised to see him, he knew his eyes were dark and bruises littered his body, but his heart was broken and he hoped his friend was as loving as it always had been. He knew he had been crazy to stay but he could finally breathe, the sweetness of that man’s love had been addictive, but bitterness had made everything evil.
Tears fell down past his eyes thinking back to when they were happy, back when everything had worked in harmony, back when sweetness turned bitter, loved turned evil. He smiled softly in regret.