Chapter Text
18th February, 2020
Neither Hoseok nor Yoongi count anymore.
Hoseok’s right thigh bounced up and down, the ball of his foot planted firmly on the ground and his heel bouncing in the air restlessly. His arms were crossed tightly over his chest and he leaned against the back of the sofa with no posture, almost sinking in it. Seokjin had already told him to straighten up but he only moved an inch up, his butt still at the edge of the couch.
Hoseok glanced at the clock that hung on the wall opposite to the couch. After Yoongi showered and dressed that morning, he had told Hoseok that he just had to go to the studio for a quick meeting and he would arrive in no time. Hoseok had protested, reminding him that it was his birthday , but Yoongi just kissed him and swore, with all his might, that he would arrive by 10:30.
It was now 10:17.
He’s not going to be two hours late, Hoseok kept reminding himself, He promised he wouldn’t.
But Hoseok was still worried.
Hoseok’s and Yoongi’s relationship had improved significantly in the four months since Yoongi arrived home. Yoongi began having weekly therapy sessions in Seoul, and like his therapist in Daegu had promised, Yoongi liked her substitute a lot (maybe even more than her, but he would never admit it). Soon, as planned, Hoseok joined a few sessions so the doctor could understand their issues from both perspectives and provide support. He offered them techniques to help compromise on issues, communicate better and make sure their relationship stayed healthy.
So far, the advice was working. It wasn’t like everything came naturally to them, but they were slowly learning. It was clear to themselves and to all those around them, that Hoseok and Yoongi were so much happier than before.
And it wasn’t just in their relationship, it was also in their own professional lives.
Hoseok’s studio was doing a lot better. It hadn’t reached the profit margin set by Namjoon and Seokjin yet, but it had only been a few months and they were getting closer to it. He was sure that they were going to meet the quota at least by mid-November, which was a great improvement.
This newfound success wasn’t just thanks to the money given to him by Namjoon and Seokjin or all the new marketing strategies and budget cuts they suggested. He was pretty sure it was mostly due to their new YouTube channel.
Jeongguk was the one that suggested it. He told Hoseok to make videos of their classes, showcase his and the staff’s abilities by posting videos of them teaching and dancing. The main idea was to essentially create a digital catalogue for everyone to see. This would draw attention to the studio and they would gain more clients, whether those were normal people wanting to learn how to dance or idol groups needing a choreographer. The fact that Hoseok hadn’t thought of that sooner made him disappointed in himself.
Jeongguk offered to open and run the channel, as well as all their social media. Hope On The Street, as the channel was titled, now had over a hundred videos showcasing the potential of the studio and the talents of all the teachers. The channel was steadily growing in subscribers, and the videos now had several thousands of views. A lot of the videos posted were shot by Taehyung, who immediately offered to help in his spare time. He often went by the studio to record videos and take pictures of the classes in action, or of the staff working and dancing. Jeongguk also posted these to the studio’s Instagram and Twitter, which were quickly growing in following. Overall, it seemed like the digital realm was a cheap, efficient way to market the business. Hoseok was incredibly thankful to his friends for all their help, as he knew they were busy people who were making a great effort to support him and his business. He knew Jeongguk mostly did it to spend more time with Jiyeon and Taehyung seemed to be more excited about seeing Jimin dance than anything else, but Hoseok couldn’t care less. He still paid them dinner as a thanks.
So now, aside from being the CEO of his small business and handling all the responsibilities that came with the job, Hoseok was also busy choreographing for a small idol group that were having a comeback later on in the year. Hoseok was thrilled to work with them, the five girls were all incredibly talented and quite nice people. They quickly learned the choreography and Hoseok was sure the comeback was going to be incredibly successful.
The normal classes were also going really well. Jimin was a wonderful addition to the team, quickly settling into his new position and befriend all the staff. Hoseok watched his classes from time to time and he was a great teacher, gifted with patience and skill. Best of all, Jimin seemed happier than ever working there.
Overall, Hoseok felt more fulfilled. When he got the studio, he thought his dream had come true. Clearly, he was wrong, because the way he felt going to work everyday was his dream come true.
And then, there was Yoongi’s dream. Yoongi took the time to explain to Hoseok that when he was a teenager, he wanted to be a rapper, a passion inspired by Epik High’s music. He filled dozens of notebooks with lyrics, practiced music production on cheap music production softwares and practiced rapping during his free time, admittingly never to a crowd.
However, as an adult, the thought of being a rapper didn’t thrill him as much. He hadn’t done it in years and the thought of getting up on stage terrified him. Yoongi no longer craved for the limelight.
So he changed his dream. Just like Hoseok had.
Yoongi decided to instead become a music producer and songwriter. It was a quieter role where he still got to do what he truly wanted without having to look pretty all the time and having a camera always shoved in his face. His friends were surprised by his decision but all showed their unwavering support. Namjoon claimed he always knew Yoongi had a passion for music, but everyone knew he was bullshitting.
Soon after, the time came for Yoongi to tell his family about his change of vocation. Much to Yoongi’s and Hoseok’s shock, they were nothing but supportive. They reassured Yoongi that they loved him and that they would support him every step of the way, no matter what. That, if this was what made him happy, then he should go all in. Yoongi smiled throughout the phone call, but when he hung up, something Hoseok hadn’t been expecting happened.
Yoongi cried.
Yoongi waddled his way to Hoseok and burst into tears, powerful sobs rattling his body. Hoseok hugged him close and pulled him into their bed, under the warmth of the blankets and held him as Yoongi cried endlessly.
“They love me, Seokie, they supported my decision,” Yoongi hiccupped. Hoseok brushed the hair out of his eyes, looking at him softly, “Even my-my dad. He said he loves me. That he’s proud of- of me. Fuck, Seok, he really said it.”
Hoseok smiled and kissed his forehead. Yoongi calmed after a few minutes and fell fast asleep. Hoseok noticed how much more relaxed Yoongi looked in his slumber, his lips in a soft pout and his eyebrows rounded. The sight slowly lulled Hoseok to sleep as well. Of course your family loves you , Hoseok thought as he dozed off, you’re impossible not to love.
After Yoongi told Seokjin about his sudden career change, the older worked tirelessly and managed to pull a few strings. In two weeks, Yoongi was working in a small management company where he could become a composer and a producer with a great mentor looking after him. Yoongi now worked more hours than he had previously, but he was also so much happier. Hoseok could see it in the way he moved, the way he walked with his head held high and his eyes twinkled when he smiled.
So, they were both much busier. But as the therapist said, compromise was the key.
Sundays were theirs and theirs alone. Sometimes they went out to have lunch or dinner, maybe shop or watch a movie, but mostly they stayed in, laying in bed all day in their soft pyjamas. It was quality couple bonding time.
On weekdays, they called or texted each other at least twice a day to check in. Hoseok still arrived home at the same time as before, crawling into bed at around ten. If Yoongi was pulling an all-nighter, the two would facetime until Hoseok fell asleep. Hoseok actually really enjoyed these calls because he liked watching Yoongi work. Sometimes Yoongi played Hoseok a beat he was working on and Hoseok smiled, because Yoongi was learning and improving so fast. Sure, it wasn’t the same as cuddling and whispering sweet things to each other, but it was a compromise. And Hoseok was learning to like compromises.
Also, taking after their friends, Yoongi and Hoseok tried to have a date night at least once during the weekdays, even if it was just ordering in and watching a movie. It helped them destress and it usually led to sex, which was an added bonus.
Hoseok knew that Yoongi was putting the effort in, he saw it with his own eyes that he was trying his hardest. Yoongi had a million alarms to remind himself of when to call, and when to text and when the dates were. He had extra alarms to remind himself to bring home flowers and when to bring Hoseok breakfast in bed. Maybe it sounds less romantic, too scheduled, but Hoseok thought it was the sweetest thing in the world - Yoongi doing everything he could to make sure Hoseok was happy and satisfied. Everytime Yoongi succeeded in making Hoseok smile, he got excited and grinned like a goof, and the sight made Hoseok’s heart swell.
Hoseok returned the favour by cooking Yoongi his lunch so he didn’t eat fast food or skip meals. He usually made his favourites and he knew Yoongi was thankful for having a reminder of home at work. Hoseok also allowed Yoongi to always pick the movie they were going to watch and massaged the older’s back when his muscles got too tense from stress and bad posture. Oh, and he always bought Yoongi’s favourite water brand. That always made the older smile.
In conclusion, they were the definition of a domestic couple and they couldn’t be any happier.
But still, Hoseok was worried. It was definitely irrational, but he simply couldn’t control it.
“You need to relax,” Seokjin finally broke the silence that had settled between the three friends, not looking up from the script in his hands. He sat on Namjoon’s lap, the younger distracted typing away on his phone.
They were the only ones that had arrived so far, as technically, the small gathering (aka birthday party) wasn’t beginning until eleven, and they all knew the younger ones would be late anyway. Maybe not Jeongguk, since Jiyeon had drummed some time management into his head.
“He’s going to be here soon.” Seokjin reassured, eyes still glued to the white, crinkled page. Hoseok just huffed. He didn’t like when Seokjin read his mind, and Hoseok had told him that countless times, but the older always pulled those stunts anyway.
Hoseok finally sat up on the couch properly as his back was beginning to hurt.
“Hyung, why are you reading your script right now?” Hoseok finally asked, addressing the mid-sized elephant in the room.
“Because opening night is in less than a week and there’s this one scene I always mess up in.”
Namjoon, who had been mostly silent, finally spoke up.
“That’s not true, you messed up, like, once .” He looked up from his screen, shoving his phone inside his jeans pocket.
“First of all, I messed up three times, and second of all, even if it was just once, it is one too many times.” Seokjin was speaking in rap, which meant he was frustrated. Namjoon just sighed, knowing his boyfriend - No, no, partner , as Seokjin insisted they were referred as now - like the palm of his hand. He gently took the script from Seokjin’s hands and dropped it softly on the floor next to the couch. It landed with a quiet thud.
“You’ve been looking at that thing the whole morning. You’re going to have fun now because it is Hoseok’s birthday party. When we get home, I’ll help you learn the lines, okay?” Namjoon whispered to Seokjin, his eyes soft and gentle. His arms encircled Seokjin’s waist, pulling him closer in his lap.
Seokjin’s defences broke down and he just nodded, melting into Namjoon’s embrace. Hoseok smiled at the couple, finding their love so endearing. His heart ached for his own partner to arrive.
It was weird, because the moment Hoseok thought that, the sound of keys clinking together was heard and the door opened. Hoseok quickly glanced at the clock.
10:29.
Yoongi walked in, closing the door behind him. He looked small in his oversized black hoodie and cap. In his hand, he had a large bouquet of violets and irises. It was as if the small boy was summoned by Hoseok’s heart.
Without realising, Hoseok stood and ran in Yoongi’s direction, throwing himself in his arms.
“Woah there, Seokie,” Yoongi chuckled, embracing the younger, “Someone’s eager to see me.”
Hoseok leaned in to kiss Yoongi desperately, making the older a bit breathless, “I’m just glad you’re here.” Hoseok whispered so only Yoongi could hear.
Yoongi looked into Hoseok’s eyes and somehow, was able to read his thoughts. Hoseok was starting to think maybe he was surrounded by wizards.
“Did you think I was going to be late again?” Yoongi smiled sympathetically. He didn’t seem angry or sad.
Hoseok looked down shamefully.
“It’s okay if you did, but I promised that wouldn’t happen again, and I’m set on keeping that promise, okay? Please trust me.” Yoongi cupped Hoseok’s cheek with his free hand.
“I do trust you. I really do.” Hoseok was pouting, feeling foolish for doubting Yoongi but the older just kissed his forehead.
“Here,” Yoongi took a step back and gave Hoseok the bouquet. Hoseok took it in his hands and smelled the beautiful purple flowers. The set was carefully arranged, with a yellow bow tying the bouquet together. Yoongi was blushing softly, “I drove by a little shop and thought maybe I should get you some flowers, since it’s your birthday. The lady in the shop said they are your birth flowers, and I know you love sunflowers, but I always bring those, so I thought maybe you wanted somethi-”
Hoseok shut him up with a loving kiss, not able to stop himself from smiling as he pressed their lips together.
“I love them. Thank you.” Hoseok was blushing, his cheeks with a little colour to them. His heart shaped smile was in full bloom, his eyes admiring the pretty petals. Yoongi was blushing too, a big gummy smile on his face because had been worried Hoseok wouldn’t like the flowers, although Hoseok always liked everything the older gave him. So in short, they were two blushing, smiling idiots in love.
Yoongi greeted Namjoon, patting his shoulder softly. He also greeted Seokjin, but he just got a grunt in response. He was a bit confused as to why Seokjin was on Namjoon’s lap, head hiding in his chest, but he just shrugged it off. They were partners now, so Yoongi was pretty sure they knew what they were doing.
Hoseok put the flowers inside a small vase filled with water, setting it by the living room window. His heart felt so warm. It was such a small gesture, getting him flowers, but he knew how awkward Yoongi could be in social situations. Just the thought of his little Yoonie in a cute, niche flower shop, asking for a bouquet and making small talk with the flourist was so endearing. Hoseok made sure to hug and kiss Yoongi a few more times to thank him for the sweet gesture.
After Namjoon rubbed Seokjin’s back and whispered a few things that Yoongi and Hoseok couldn’t hear, Seokjin finally perked up and seemed to go back to his normal self, for which everyone was happy.
The house still needed to be decorated, so the four boys got to work. They finished putting up the banners and setting the table. They laid out all sorts of deliciously unhealthy snacks; crisps, cupcakes, different sorts of sweets, chocolate, all sorts. Jimin and Taehyung were in charge of picking up the birthday cake from the bakery, as it was on their way over. Yoongi had already texted them five times each to remind them of the task. Hoseok’s birthday simply couldn’t happen without a birthday cake.
A little after eleven, Jeongguk and Jiyeon arrived, the couple looking radiant. Jeongguk was back to wearing his old hoodies and oversized trousers but Jiyeon didn’t seem to mind too much. She too had more casual wear on, a simple t-shirt, denim jeans and a pair of white trainers.
“Happy birthday, hyung.” Jeongguk said, reaching to give Hoseok a big bear hug. Hoseok was a little taken back by the sudden show of affection, but he welcomed it. Jeongguk had become a lot more affectionate the last few months, as well as a lot more smiley. Everyone seemed to know why.
Jiyeon also hugged him, although she insisted on still calling him ‘Mr Jung’. They both gave him individual birthday cards and placed a beautiful wrapped parcel on the designated spot by the table.
Jimin and Taehyung arrived soon after, the white birthday box between the younger’s hands.
“See, we remembered!” Taehyung bragged, setting the box on the table carefully.
Yoongi just rolled his eyes, knowing if it weren’t for his ninth text, there wouldn’t be any cake.
“Aw, thanks guys!” Hoseok said, hugging both younger boys. They had arrived from their holiday a few weeks ago, but they were still visibly tanned and carried a carefree aura around them. They looked so in love, the cheap wedding bands they got in London now substituted by expensive platinum rings that looked good on both their skin tones.
“Happy birthday, hyung,” Jimin said, “I hope you have a wonderful birthday! Oh, and that you like our gift!”
Jimin set the bag he was holding on the floor by the other parcels. Hoseok was excited to see what their friends had gotten him but at the same, what really mattered to him was that everyone he loved was present. His parents and sister had already called earlier to wish him a happy birthday and assured him they had shipped his presents and they should arrive soon.
Everyone got cosy on the sofa, chatting idly until the pizzas Hoseok ordered arrived. Jeongguk did the honours of opening the door and grabbing the boxes. Everyone got a slice and sat back down, red cups filled to the brim with sugary drinks. Yoongi made sure to grab plenty of Sprite just for Hoseok.
As they ate, drank and chatted, Jeongguk had his arm glued to Jiyeon’s shoulders as they shared one of the loveseats, Jimin and Taehyung sat on the floor by the coffee table, shoulders bumping, Seokjin had his head leaned against Namjoon’s shoulder, the younger stroking his upper arm and Yoongi sat between Hoseok’s legs, head leaned against Hoseok’s chest. There was plenty of laughter, teasing and story-telling.
Later, when Namjoon got the cake out of the box, Hoseok gasped as the cake was decorated with drawings of Kaws’ characters, which Hoseok was a huge fan of. Hoseok turned to Yoongi, who he knew was the one who ordered the cake, and hugged him tightly, thanking him for the wonderful surprise. Yoongi was squeezed so tightly he felt like he couldn’t breathe, but he smiled. He just wanted Hoseok to be happy, and he clearly was. He never wanted to disappoint the younger boy on his birthday ever again
They sang Hoseok happy birthday, which became a shouting match by the end of the song. Taehyung cut up the cake and everyone got a sizable piece. He made sure to give Hoseok a slide that had one of the character’s face on it.
While they ate the vanilla and chocolate cake (which was delicious), Jimin and Taehyung told everyone about their wedding in London.
“And then I called Hoseok hyung, and he tries to wake up Yoongi hyung, and hyung’s like-” Jimin cleared his throat and lowered his voice comically, “ ‘Ah, Seokie, we fucked all night, let me sleep.’ ”
Everyone burst into laughter and Yoongi’s face went visibly red, but he laughed along nevertheless.
“In his defence,” Hoseok intervened, jumping to his boyfriend’s rescue, “He didn’t know I was talking to Jimin.”
“Yeah, I guess he didn't notice that since he was too tired from certain activities .” Seokjin remarked with a certain intonation that made everyone laugh again. Yoongi was two seconds away from combusting but Hoseok kissed his temple, grounding him.
“So, yeah, aside from learning about hyung’s sex life ,” Taehyung looked pointedly at Yoongi, “It’s great to be able to call this pretty boy my husband.”
Jimin giggled happily and the two boys kissed, which made everyone jokingly groaned.
“You guys are disgustingly cute.” Namjoon commented, shaking his head with a grin bright on his face.
“Says you ,” Jeongguk chimed in smiling cheekily, “Mr we-have-promise-rings-so-we - are- partners -now ”
“What about you ?” Seokjin bit back, jumping to defend his partner’s honour, “Mr I-have-a-girlfriend-now-so-let-me-just-bail-on-every-single-dinner-with-my- friends-because-I-have-to-spend-time-with-Jiyeon.”
“Ggukie! I told you not to do that.” Jiyeon reprimanded softly.
“But I like spending time with you.” Jeongguk complained quietly. It was hard not to coo at his expression.
“Guys, guys, we’re all disgustingly cute, it’s okay .” Hoseok finally compromised, encircling his arms around Yoongi’s waist. Yoongi smiled when he felt the younger plant a kiss on his cheek.
“Wow, wow, okay Mr Diplomacy .” Seokjin finally commented, sinking back into the couch. Namjoon smiled and kissed his temple.
“Before we get into any more arguments,” Hoseok tapped Yoongi, and both men stood, “I think it’s time to open my presents.”
The two boys went up to all his gifts that sat on the floor. Hoseok picked up as many boxes and bags as he could and Yoongi got the rest. They set them by their spot on the sofa. Hoseok sat back down and Yoongi sat next to him.
Before Hoseok could pick up one of the presents, Yoongi whispered in his ear, “I did get you a present, but I would feel more comfortable if you opened it when it was just us two. Is that okay?” Yoongi looked a bit vulnerable, and Hoseok just smiled and nodded.
“Okay, which one do I open first?” Hoseok asked the group.
“Open our’s. It’s the one with the yellow bow.” Seokjin pointed.
Hoseok did just that, picking up with both hands a large box with a yellow satin bow on top.
“There are two presents in there. One’s mine and the other is Namjoon’s”
Before opening the box, Hoseok opened the card that sat beneath the bow.
In neat handwriting, it said:
Dear Hoseok (hyung),
Happy birthday! Although you are now old and grey, to me you’ll always be the little kid that showed up at the university, all excited and scared. You’ll always be a younger brother to me and I hope that your business keeps going well and that you find true happiness with Yoongi.
Following that message was another, in messier handwriting. Hoseok had to squint his eyes to read. It said:
Happy birthday hyung! I hope you have a great day. I know you’ve had a tough year, but I hope you see everything that happened as an opportunity to grow as a person. I hope you continue to be as happy and bubbly as you are today.
Inside are our gifts. You’ll know exactly which one is mine and which one is Seokjin’s.
Have a great day!
KSJ & KNJ
Hoseok grinned at the card and set it aside. He carefully undid the bow and lifted the lid.
He furrowed his brows at what he found inside.
He lifted the item, which was heavier than it looked.
“A tree?” Jeongguk was the first to comment.
“Yes, a Chinese Elm Bonsai tree. I have a few myself.” Namjoon smiled, “It symbolises inner strength, intuition, wisdom and love. Those are all things I think you already have, but I hope you continue to grow as you get older.”
“Aw, Joon!” Hoseok smiled, looking at the small tree. It was quite pretty, as pretty as trees can get. He set it on the floor, by his feet, “Thank you. It’s lovely. I will take very good care of it.”
If anyone asked Hoseok what he wanted for his birthday, the last thing he would say would be a tree . But he was truly touched by the younger’s gift and knew the little tree would look great in their living room or in the kitchen (although the two were connected anyway).
“Hold on, there’s still my gift inside,” Seokjin gestured. Hoseok looked inside the box and at the bottom was an envelope.
He picked it up and felt it in his hands. It was light and thin. It definitely wasn’t money.
Yoongi propped his chin on Hoseok’s shoulder as Hoseok tore the envelope open.
When Hoseok saw the contents, he smiled and shook his head, “Seriously hyung? Tickets for your show?”
Seokjin smiled, “Yeah! In fact,” Seokjin got two more envelopes from his hoodie pocket and handed Jeongguk and Jiyeon one and Taehyung and Jimin another, “You should all come! I play a greedy and narcissistic king that gets killed by his son at the end.”
“Hyung, you literally just spoiled the story.” Taehyung commented, chuckling lightly.
Seokjin shrugged, unbothered, “Still come.”
“But hyung, we told you weeks ago we’d come to your show.” Jeongguk reminded him.
“Yes, but how are you supposed to get in and watch me be amazing without tickets?”
“I’m starting to think that that character suits you,” Yoongi mumbled loud enough for the older to hear.
Everyone, including Seokjin, laughed at Yoongi’s dry comment. Namjoon touched Seokjin’s shoulder, catching his attention, “Baby, don’t you have something else to also give him?”
Seokjin sighed dramatically and fished from his hoodie pocket a card, “It’s a gift card for around fifty different stores. It has 80,000 won in it.” He dashed the card at Hoseok and the younger successfully caught it.
Hoseok looked at it. On the packaging of the card, it stated all the fifty stores it could be redeemed in. Hoseok was already getting some ideas.
Hoseok smiled brightly, “Thanks hyung. I like both gifts.”
“But you like the tickets more?” Seokjin suggested, an eyebrow raised and a smug grin on his face.
“Of course, hyung.”
The rest of the gift giving was smooth sailing. Taehyung and Jimin gave him a Burberry pouch that they bought when they went to London.
Hoseok was astounded, “How much did this cost?”
“Less than you’d expect,” Jimin reassured, a beaming smile on his face because of Hoseok’s reaction, “I know some people from when I went there to study dance.”
“Also, they were on sale.” Taehyung added, which earned a light smack on the arm from Jimin.
Jungkook and Jiyeon got him a pair of brightly coloured Puma trainers.
“Oh my!” Hoseok’s jaw dropped, taking the trainers and feeling them in his hands, “I’ve wanted these for months! How did you know?”
Jeongguk and Jiyeon looked at each other and the boy shrugged, a big grin on his face.
“I had someone feed me inside information.”
“You really have to stop online shopping during office hours, boss.” Jiyeon commented. Hoseok flushed lightly in mild embarrassment.
When it came to Yoongi’s turn, and the older boy blushed slightly, “I’m going to give it to him later.”
“The present or something else?” Seokjin quickly added. Hoseok almost smacked him for always being so dirty minded, but his joke successfully stopped anyone else from asking more questions about what Yoongi’s gift could potentially be.
Their friends stayed until late afternoon, by which everyone was getting a bit tired. The couples were getting more touchy-feely with each other and the husbands were the first to retire, but not before giving Hoseok tight hugs and wishing him a fun evening. Hoseok wasn’t sure in what sense they meant that, but he accepted it nevertheless. Jeongguk and Jiyeon were next, the girl almost asleep on the younger boy’s shoulder, which he smiled fondly at.
The partners stuck around a little longer, but before the sun set, they were gone too.
Yoongi closed the door after the couple left, and patted Hoseok’s shoulder. Hoseok was looking up on his phone ‘tree names’ so he could baptise his new plant.
“Can I open your gift now, Yoongi?” Hoseok asked, looking up at the older.
Yoongi smiled faintly and shook his head, “No, not yet. I’ll give it to you later. Is that okay?”
Hoseok knew that if Yoongi was delaying it, there was definitely a good reason for it. Hoseok nodded and Yoongi planted a kiss on top of his head.
“I made us reservations at your favourite restaurant for dinner later.” Yoongi announced, catching the younger boy off guard.
Hoseok beamed, sitting up, “Really?”
Yoongi smiled fondly, “Yes, I wanted us to have a nice date, just the two of us.” He looked around at the messy room, full of discarded boxes, ripped wrapping paper and scraps of food.
“How about you go nap and I’ll tidy this up? I know you’re tired.” Hoseok was great at faking enthusiasm, but Yoongi always picked up when it wasn’t genuine anymore. The younger boy was clearly tired, his movements more lethargic and his smile a little forced.
“But how about you? You have to rest too,” Hoseok clung to Yoongi’s waist, burying his head in his soft belly. Yoongi had gained weight since Hoseok began cooking for him, and he loved how much healthier the older looked, “I want you to nap with me.”
Yoongi felt the impulse to coo at such a soft sight. He brushed Hoseok’s hair, “I will, I’ll just tidy this.”
“But I can help you.” Hoseok whined, tightening his grip on Yoongi’s waist, almost possessively.
“Seokie, you’re the birthday boy, just go sleep .” Yoongi insisted, his voice more firm.
Hoseok finally gave in and shuffled to the bedroom, where he almost immediately fell asleep from the excitement of the day.
Yoongi was pretty tired too, but he powered through. He got garbage bags and put all the empty boxes, paper, cans and bottles inside them. He took down the banners and folded them, predicting they would be useful in the future. He collected the leftover cake and pizza, put them in boxes and inside the fridge. He set the small Bonsai tree by the window pane of their living room, beside the bouquet of purple flowers, and put the expensive shoes and pouch on the couch. He fixed the cushions and about half an hour later, the living room was looking as tidy as it had been before the party.
Yoongi yawned as he tiptoed to their bedroom. The door wasn’t closed, so he just snuck inside.
Hoseok was sleeping peacefully on the bed. His black hair was splayed over his forehead and his mouth was open, a bit of drool spilling onto the pillow. His plump cheeks were pressed against the pillow, and it made the boy look younger than he was.
Yoongi smiled at the sleeping boy and laid down next to him, sighing softly as he stretched his back on the bed. He set a timer for two hours before laying on his side. He was about to drift off when Hoseok turned around and pulled the older towards him. He buried his head on Yoongi’s shoulder and sighed contently, as if he was satisfied with everything in life.
Yoongi hoped he was.
***
*Song: Jasmine - DPR LIVE
Yoongi was the first to wake up from the loud, repetitive noise of the alarm he set. He groaned and turned over, looking at Hoseok. The boy was still sound asleep and Yoongi felt a little guilty for waking him up.
“Seokie, time to wake up.” Yoongi said quietly. He leaned and peppered kisses on Hoseok’s neck, knowing it was the most pleasant way to wake him up.
Hoseok finally hummed and giggled happily, Yoongi’s lips tickling his sensitive skin. Yoongi smiled against his throat, planting one last kiss before giving the younger a chaste peck on his lips.
“Thank you.”
Yoongi looked at Hoseok, a little puzzled. The boy was smiling softly.
“For what?” Yoongi reached and brushed Hoseok’s hair away from his eyes.
“Everything. The flowers, the cake, the cleaning, the reservation. The breakfasts in bed, and the facetime calls, and the dates and everything you’ve been doing these last few months. It means so much to me that you’re putting so much effort in.” Hoseok spoke sincerely, his eyes studying Yoongi’s features.
Yoongi smiled softly, caressing Hoseok’s face, “Of course. I want us to be happy, for you to be happy. After what happened... I don’t want us to ever fight like that again. If it means I have to put a little more effort in, then so be it.”
Yoongi kissed the tip of Hoseok’s nose and gave him another soft peck before detaching himself from the familiar warmth that was Hoseok’s arms. He stood up and shuffled into the bathroom.
“Yoongi?”
“Yes, Seokie.” Yoongi answered, looking back at the boy that laid on their bed.
Hoseok had the loveliest smile on his face, “I love you. So much.”
Yoongi nodded and smiled, “I love you too.”
Hoseok and Yoongi both showered and dressed, Yoongi first and then Hoseok, who took the time to sleep a bit longer.
They were both wearing more formal attire. Hoseok wore a pair of navy slacks that were somewhat loose. He wore a loose baby blue shirt with a multicoloured wool cardigan overtop to keep him warm. Yoongi was convinced only Hoseok could pull those clothes off.
Yoongi, on the other hand, went for a more traditionalist approach. He dug into his wardrobe to grab his old suits and pulled the trousers of the set that was in best condition. Yoongi then got a button down white shirt and put it on. Namjoon would be proud of his outfit choice.
Once Hoseok was dressed, he came behind Yoongi as the older fixed his collar in front of the mirror.
“I miss when you used to wear suits,” Hoseok rubbed his hands over the shirt, feeling the soft fabric, “You look hot.”
Yoongi smiled, “Thanks Seokie. Maybe I’ll begin wearing suits to go to the studio.” He joked.
Hoseok shrugged, “You don’t have to. You could always just wear them at home.”
Yoongi chuckled, gummy smile on display, “Sure, whatever makes you happy.”
Hoseok also smiled and kissed the top of Yoongi’s head. The younger left the room to go grab his coat, scarf and beanie. Yoongi dug into his drawer to look for something to protect him from the cold. He came across a familiar item - a blue sweater.
The same sweater he wore on their first date.
It smelled a bit weird from being in the drawer for so long, but Yoongi slipped it on anyway. His hair wasn’t burgundy anymore, but he was sure the dark blue colour still looked good on him. Maybe Jimin would be proud too.
Yoongi gathered his things, put on his black coat and headed to the living room. Hoseok was already waiting for him, decked out in winter gear. Only his eyes were visible from above his thick, wool scarf. The younger always hated the cold, so he always wore layers on top of layers to make sure he stayed warm. Yoongi thought he looked adorable, the bangs that hang from under the beanie highlighting the shape of his eyes.
Yoongi grabbed Hoseok’s hand and they left their apartment. They got inside their car and the older took a deep breath, putting on his seatbelt. Yoongi had only began driving again a month or so ago, and everytime he did, he still panicked a little. It was slowly becoming easier for him but he still paid a lot of attention when driving, often looking at traffic lights twice or going severely below the speed limit.
Hoseok didn’t care though. Yeah, it took fifteen minutes to get to the restaurant than rather than ten, but he was just proud of Yoongi for facing his fear and trauma. Hoseok would never rush him, but instead hold his hand through it.
Once they parked, Yoongi and Hoseok got out of the car. Hoseok jogged to Yoongi’s side and grabbed his hand. Yoongi smiled and interlocked their fingers. Their hands swayed between them as they walked.
Since the accident happened, everything changed. Big things changed, but small things changed too. Now Hoseok and Yoongi held hands in public. While they shopped, when they went to the movies or when they had dinner together at a restaurant, they held hands. They simply didn’t care anymore. They were no longer afraid of showing to the world that they loved each other.
The harsh looks didn’t matter. The judgement didn’t matter. Other people’s opinions didn’t matter. They were so miniscule in the grand scheme of things, like a single grain of sand in a whole beach.
Yoongi wanted to hold Hoseok’s hand. Hoseok wanted to hold Yoongi’s hand. And so they held hands. That’s all that mattered.
The dinner went well. Hoseok and Yoongi loved spending time alone, talking about everything and nothing at all. Yoongi talked about how cool it was that people actually liked his music and lyrics and that a song he had been working on was about to be released. Hoseok was thrilled to see Yoongi so happy. He was sure the song was going to be amazing because Yoongi had worked so hard to make it perfect.
Hoseok talked about the idol group and how great it was to work with people who were professionals in the industry and loved dancing as much as he did. He told Yoongi he thought this group really was super talented. Yoongi believed him.
They talked, they laughed, and of course, they ate. They fed each other forkfuls of their dishes and spoonfuls of their deserts. Yes, they were obnoxious and cheesy, but they didn’t care.
They choose not to drink alcohol because Yoongi wanted to be completely sober while driving and Hoseok didn’t feel like drinking anyway. He didn’t want to tempt Yoongi or make him feel left out, which sounded silly, but he knew his choice to drink water instead of wine made Yoongi smile.
After dinner, the two chuckled as they walked hand in hand to the car. The night was frosty and their breaths mingled in the air. The night had settled now and the orange lamp posts were the only light sources illuminating their way.
Hoseok immediately got inside the car once they reached the vehicle, trying to escape the looming cold air. Yoongi opened the door to his seat and leaned forward, clearing his throat, “I… I have your gift. It’s in the trunk. Do you want to open it now?”
Yoongi seemed nervous so Hoseok gave him a reassuring smile, “Yeah, sure.”
Truefully, Hoseok had wondered all evening when Yoongi was going to give him his present. He hadn’t said anything because he didn’t want pressure Yoongi and he wanted to enjoy the older’s company, which was ultimately the most important thing to him. But he would be lying if he said he wasn’t beyond excited to find out what it was. He felt his body buzz with energy and anticipation as he waited for Yoongi to grab the gift.
Within a few moments, Yoongi settled again in the driver’s seat. He had a brown package in his hands. The older’s fingers fiddled with the string that decorated the box. The straw string looked very pretty against the bare card of the box.
Yoongi looked at the package reluctantly. Hoseok noted how beautiful and soft Yoongi looked in the light. His kitten eyes blinked slowly and his thin pink lips sat between his teeth.
“I’m sorry you didn’t get to open it earlier but… this is sorta personal and I just want you to see it. It’s for your eyes only.”
Hoseok nodded. Yoongi handed him the package, and Hoseok took it in his hands, setting it on his thighs.
He tugged at the end of the bow and the string came undone. He slowly lifted the lid, his breath caught in his throat as his eyes waited to be marvelled by the gift.
Hoseok breathed a little easier when he saw there was a card, large enough to cover what was underneath. Hoseok opened it.
It said, in the messy Yoongi handwriting Hoseok was used to by that point:
Dear Seokie,
Happy birthday. I hope you have a wonderful day full of fun, love and happiness. I hope you are happy and healthy for many years to come, and that I can be by your side through whatever and wherever life takes you.
Unbeknownst to you, I’ve written lyrics about you and what I felt - and still feel - for you for a very long time. I started writing them shortly after we met. It was the best way I had to express myself. Here is a compilation of my favourites. I hope you like them.
I love you more than anything. You’re my sunshine.
Your Yoonie.
Hoseok’s whole expression was one of shock. His hands trembled as he set the card aside and picked up a small, thin book, with a yellow velvet cover that had the words ‘For Hoseok’ engraved on the front.
Hoseok opened it, fingers touching the book like it was a precious treasure, made of gold or silver or glass. Something fragile and precious. He read the words as he slowingly looked over the pages.
If the standard of beauty is in the ocean, you’re the Seriously Sea 1
A mini cultural asset that should be taken care of on a national level
Every page revealed a new stanza, which Hoseok assumed were written at different times. Each verse was more beautiful than the last.
You’re just like a Butterfly
From afar, I steal glances; if we touch hands, will I lose you?
You shine in this pitch darkness that is the butterfly effect
Your light touches, I forget the reality at once.
Hoseok flipped the page.
I want it this love
I want it, real love
I only focus on you
You steer me a little harder
I can only see you
I can only see you alone
Surprisingly, I keep gasping and it’s weird, maybe
Because from the very beginning, my heart runs to you.
Hoseok couldn’t help the smile growing on his face as he flicked through the pages. All the words seemed like a treasure, like shimmering gems or iridescent pearls, like they were carefully and purposefully chosen to convey their message. It was like Hoseok was getting a peak directly inside Yoongi’s mind and it was incredibly intimate.
My eyes follow your eyes, nose, lips
But please don’t misunderstand
I can’t hold it in when I see you, this is such a pain
I wanna be locked in you and swim in you
I want to know you more, an explorer venturing through your deep forest of mystery
I appreciate the masterpiece that is you because your existence alone is art
I imagine this all night every day
Because it’s a meaningless dream anyway
Hoseok guessed the verses written in the latter pages were written after they began dating, because the tone was more positive, more upbeat. It seemed as if Yoongi was more satisfied.
If only I had just one day
I want to peacefully fall asleep intoxicated with your sweet scent
If there’s a chance in my busy schedule
I want to put my body in your warm and deep eyes
I like that, your black, straight hair
Your breathtaking neck
My handbag is your waist
You’re my honey
Whenever I see you I run out of breath like the streets of Myungdong
Our BGM is the sound of breathing
Your voice when you say my name
Hoseok came to the last page, feeling tears brim in his eyes.
It was you who led me through the labyrinth
You’re my light and salvation.
The rain is coming close to an end and I won’t let go of your hand.
From the moment I met you, my life was all you
You’re the star that turns ordinaries into extraordinaries,
One after another, everything is special
The things you’re interested in, the way you walk or talk, and every little trivial habit of yours
They were quiet for a long time. Hoseok read and reread the words typed on the pages and Yoongi watched the younger smile as he paged through the book, the older’s heart hammering painfully against his chest.
Yoongi finally spoke, breaking the silence, “A lot of them I wrote before we got together. You just… you really inspired me. I did write a lot after we got together, but then I got so... busy. I’m sorry they aren’t dated, I always forgot to do that.”
Hoseok just kept rereading the lyrics, his eyes addicted to their beauty, completely stunned by how expressive they were. They were like little pieces of Yoongi’s mind, Hoseok kept thinking, little pieces of his love. Hoseok could feel so much care and passion and longing radiate off the pages.
Yoongi played with the rings on his fingers as he watched Hoseok, clearly nervous. He couldn’t bear the silence anymore, he felt as if he was suffocating.
“Seokie… please say something.”
“I love it,” Hoseok cleaned a tear that had run down his cheek, “You… you wrote all this about me? This is… beautiful, Yoonie.”
Yoongi grinned, his eyes shimmering, “Really, you like it?”
Hoseok looked back at the small book, stunned Yoongi would ever think he could have any other reaction but adoration for gift, “Of course? This is the most beautiful thing ever. You… you write so well. This is…” Hoseok began crying harder, “You love me so much.”
Yoongi leaned forward, taking Hoseok’s face in his hands, “I do, of course I do. From the moment I met you, I have loved you. How could I not? You’re so handsome and kind and talented, I was immediately drawn to you ”
Hoseok put the package aside and threw himself at Yoongi, embracing him. He buried his face in neck and basked in the mint and peach scent that made Hoseok’s chest fill with warmth and happiness as it was the smell of home. Yoongi hadn’t touched cigarettes in months, choosing to throw away the pack he had at home and vow to never touch the drug again. So Yoongi no longer smelled like tobacco, but Hoseok was happy for this. He just wanted his Yoongi healthy and alive.
“Yoonie, I love you. Thank you so much. This is the best present ever. Thank you. I love it so much.” Hoseok rambled, voice muffled by Yoongi’s coat, “I promise I won’t show it to anyone else ever. I- I want it keep for myself.”
“Yes, it’s just for you.” Yoongi breathed a sigh of relief, “I made it just for you. I’m so glad you like it, I thought maybe you-”
For the second time that day, Hoseok shut Yoongi up by kissing him, taking the older’s breath away with the intensity of the kiss. Yoongi’s mouth tasted like honey and chocolate and that, added with the fact that the older’s lips seemed to always move in perfect sync with the younger’s, made the kiss so inviting. Hoseok had to force himself to detach his lips from Yoongi’s.
“I love it, Yoonie. You… fuck, you make me so happy.” Hoseok confessed. Yoongi couldn’t stop smiling.
“I love you so much,” Yoongi whispered into Hoseok’s hair, “Please always know that. I know I’m not perfect but I’ll always try to make you happy.”
“You’re perfect to me. You’ve made so happy, not just today but these last few months. This is the best birthday I’ve ever had. Thank you.”
Yoongi brushed his fingers through Hoseok’s hair and Hoseok looked at the book again, “Did you type this all out?” Hoseok asked.
“Yup. I went through my old notebooks and typed out the passages I liked and sent it in to be made into a book.”
Hoseok paused for a second, forming the next question in his mouth before he spoke, “Could I ever read them? Your notebooks, I mean?”
Yoongi looked at Hoseok a second, eyes looking deeply into Hoseok’s. After a pause, he gave the younger a small smile and nodded, “Yes, if you want to. They might be hard to read because of my handwriting but I don’t mind ‘translating’ them for you.”
“You sure? If that makes you uncomfortable, it’s-”
“Seokie, I’m ready to share everything with you. Yes, sharing those notebooks will make me vulnerable, I pour all my thoughts and feelings into them, but I’m okay with being vulnerable with you. I know you’ll never judge me or use it against me.”
Hoseok cupped Yoongi’s cheek, “Yoonie, I would never . I promise.” Hoseok gave Yoongi a small peck, “Your words are safe with me.”
Hoseok leaned in for another kiss, which developed into an open-mouthed make out session. Hoseok kissed him with as much love and passion as he felt for the older. He wanted to show Yoongi how thankful he was. How thankful he was that he had a boyfriend that wrote beautiful lyrics about him, that cared enough to put so much effort into a gift, that their relationship was no longer bare branches on a winter night, but blooming flowers on a spring day.
Yoongi was beyond happy that Hoseok liked the gift and fully understood the meaning and weight it had. Hoseok held the book as if it were a delicate, rare flower that needed to be handled with care. He read the words with bright eyes and it made Yoongi feel so satisfied, because all the effort he put into the gift was worthwhile. He wasn’t scared to share his lyrics with Hoseok anymore, he didn’t want to stuff the books in a dark corner of their room to gather dust anymore. He wanted to share them with Hoseok, share a bit of his soul with the one he loved.
“I’m just happy you’re happy.” Yoongi cleaned a tear that streaked Hoseok’s soft cheek with his thumb. Yoongi kissed his cheeks, nose and forehead.
The older boy sighed, taking Hoseok’s hand in his.
“I hope it’s okay that’s not an engagement ring or-”
“Oh, Yoongi, stop that,” Hoseok kissed the back of Yoongi’s hand, “Of course it’s okay. I don’t want rings. I understand why others do, but I don’t need them. This says enough,” He gestured the small book in his hands, “You’re mine, Yoonie. And I’m yours. I don’t need rings. I promise I don’t.”
Yoongi smiled and nodded, his eyes alight with happiness. Hoseok leaned in again to kiss him.
“Besides, we’re still working on our relationship. I just want to enjoy being your boyfriend before we can be anything more.”
Yoongi pulled Hoseok tighter against him and sighed happily, “Is it weird sometimes I still can’t believe you’re mine?”
Hoseok shook his head and smiled, “No, because sometimes I think the same about you.” Hoseok looked up at Yoongi again, “I love you, hyung. More than anything. I can’t write beautiful lyrics like you can but I hope you still know it.” He whispered quietly.
“I know, sunshine. Your smile says it all,” Yoongi’s voice was smooth, and that, in combination with his words, made Hoseok blush, “I love you too, Seokie.” Yoongi kissed the top of Hoseok’s head.
Hoseok finally sat up, the hugging position beginning to take its toll on his back. They were saying a lot of ‘I love you’s, maybe too much, but they felt like it. It was such a wonderful thing to say the three little words and hear them back and know they carry their full meaning back and forth. It was almost addicting.
Yoongi sighed, his shoulders feeling lighter. He smiled and settled his hands on the steering wheel, “I know it’s cold but I thought we could…”
“Could what?” Hoseok was still feeling the book in his hands, his finger pads rubbing the soft velvet.
“Could go for a night drive.”
Hoseok looked at Yoongi softly and touched his shoulder.
“You sure, Yoongi?” Hoseok asked. Yoongi was getting better, but the journeys he attempted were still mostly during the day and very short. He didn’t want Yoongi to push himself too much and have him panic.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m sure.” Yoongi started the ignition, “So, you wanna?”
Hoseok nodded, a big smile on his face, “If you’re sure, than yeah, let’s go.”
Yoongi got out of the parking spot and drove off, just taking random rights and lefts and seeing where they went. Hoseok got the blanket from the back seats that they kept in the car for these occasions. Even though they hadn't gone for a night drive in a very long time, they still kept the blanket as a reminder of those happy times, which Hoseok was hoping they’d continue having. Now, it was going to come in handy as the night continued to get cooler. The blanket was made of thick, checkered material and it was wide enough to cover the two.
The night sky was beautiful, a blue so deep it looked almost black. The bright moon was completely full and imposing in the sea of darkness. There were barely any stars, but Hoseok was comforted enough knowing they were there somewhere, behind the clouds and pollution.
Hoseok read the lyrics again. There were some that stuck out to him. ‘ You’re my light and my salvation’, ‘ I appreciate the masterpiece that is you because your existence alone is art’, ‘I want to peacefully fall asleep intoxicated with your sweet scent’. As he read them, his heart swelled with love and his cheeks flushed in embarrassment. It was all so romantic and Hoseok couldn’t believe Yoongi had spent so much time writing about him. It was almost unbelievable.
He knew Yoongi was going to be the best composer out there. His lyrics were simply too beautiful to not be heard and appreciated.
Hoseok put the little book aside as he was beginning to get dizzy from reading inside the moving card. He got his phone out and plugged it into the car’s sound system and tapped shuffled on their playlist.
Both smiled at the first song.
It was their song.
*Song: Best Part - H.E.R., Daniel Caesar
Hoseok hummed along and Yoongi whistled during certain parts. The two held hands under the blanket and watched the streets at night, so peaceful and quiet in their emptiness. Seoul never slept or stopped, but it did calm down.
“Seok Seok?” Yoongi randomly mumbled. Hoseok noticed it was still a bit annoying, but it came across as more cute than anything else.
Hoseok hummed.
“I love you sunshine.” Yoongi proclaimed. Hoseok hummed happily.
“I love you too, Yoonie.” Hoseok whispered. He added after a second, “Always and forever?”
Yoongi looked at Hoseok just for a second before focusing back on the road. He looked at Hoseok’s soft brown hair parted in the middle as usual, the curve of his delicate nose and line of his lips. Yoongi had seen that face for the first time four years ago, and straight away he had known that that was the face he wanted to wake up to in the morning and the last face he wanted to see before he fell asleep at night.
Nothing had changed. Not even one bit.
“Forever and always.” Yoongi answered, smile ever-present on his lips as they drove into the night.
THE END