Chapter Text
Black Hat lowered the newspaper, looking at his employee.
"Surgery?"
"It's just gallstones." Flug replied, placing a cup of fresh warm tea in front of him
Black Hat just kept looking at him, with unblinking eyes as the doctor retrieved the dirty plates they had just used to eat a piece of cake he bought at the supermarket, and went back to the sink.
" Surgery ?" Black Hat repeated, emphasizing the question.
Flug rolled his eyes at the melodrama, taking the opportunity that his eyes weren't being watched.
"Yes, sir." He answered, again. "A gallbladder removal surgery."
"But why ?"
"The usual." He shrugged, cleaning the dishes. "High-cholesterol diet, not enough water—" He started, placing the ware beside the sink in a way that would dry on themselves. Kitchenware noises echoed. "—not to mention I'm sedentary and stuck above the age of Forty." He continued, cleaning his own hands on a towel and turning around.
Black Hat was still looking at him with widened—weirdly stunned—eyes.
But the scientist could already presume what he was stunned about—after all, it's not because he's immortal that his body will forever be healthy.
As Flug always reminds him, again and again (and probably will for all eternity), he's still human. He just... doesn't age.
Humans' organs can overwork with time, losing their efficiency. It means he might even need organ transplantation when they get to their limit. Logic, right?
Flug sighed, picking up his own mug of tea and joining him on the table again.
"Humans are a weak-race, Sir. Remember?" He clarified. "These things are expected to happen when we neglect certain self-care from time to time." And as an afterthought, Flug whispered under a breath. "Especially when it works for longer than it should."
Black Hat's eyebrow started to slowly twitch—the closest thing to worriness he could express.
Flug took a look at it, slightly scared at what he might be thinking.
"—I'm not gonna die!" Flug decided to explain, for precaution. “And it wasn't intentional or anything.” They had a story about it, to be later discussed. His hands were around the drink, getting warmer. "It takes just fifteen days to recover, and I'll be back from the hospital the very next day with barely any harm. It's a simple kind of surgery. No need to worry—"
"I'm not worried." Black Hat quickly added, instinctively. But Flug wasn't a beginner in dealing with him.
"—worry over my service , then." He concluded, holding the mug harder, with a Poker-face worthy of a grammy award. His voice, though, lowered in volume. "I've delegated the heavy lifting work to other third-party scientists I hired, and I plan to complete most of my on-short-notice task yet this week."
Black Hat finally, finally , blinked his eyes.
"... When?"
Then, came the hard part.
Flug let out a sigh.
"Friday."
"You mean, in four days?"
The scientist nodded.
"Are you... in pain ?" He asked.
Flug started to shake his head but stopped.
No, he shouldn't lie. That's part of the new deal of their relationship—After Demencia went missing during a mission and after 5.0.5. died, it was only the two of them keeping BHO working (that is... more Flug than Black Hat himself), which made them strengthen their bond and become more than just an employee and employer (or, at least, what he likes to think).
He nodded his head again.
"Yeah." And replied. "It hurts a lot."
"That's why you..." Black Hat's pausing a sentence, in the middle of a question, was the closest thing to being embarrassed as Flug ever sees him. "... stopped asking for me?"
The scientist's cheeks blushed under the paper bag. And he pressed one of his hands against his nape, where three or four months ago he'd been bitten there by those sharp teeth inside Black Hat's mouth in the middle of intercourse. The bite was now faded and healed completely.
They started having sex somewhere between his 45th or so year inside the organization, after a discussion about Black Hat making him immortal, caging him as an employee-slave for all eternity inside the mansion, never allowing him to freely go out but personally satisfy his human needs from time to time—As Flug desperately needed after so many years.
They had a fight, and he left BHO for a few days but they made up after that and Black Hat accepted Flug's selfish request as being a loving partner at least once a week.
It worked.
It... has been working.
Sometimes, that day of the week turns out to be another, given the necessity of emergency plans on that specific day, and sometimes it just starts happening after a given hour on a day and continues to the same hour of the next day. Sometimes it becomes a mess and Black Hat forgets it's the day. Sometimes Flug is the one that ends up wasting it because he’s focused on work. Sometimes they take two days on a roll and jump the following week. Sometimes Black Hat treats him nicer on normal days, even though it's not their date, and most of these times Flug takes advantage of it.
One day Flug snapped at Black Hat with a good reason, and after they talked again, things got well and fine. After so many years, people start to theorize: Flug doesn’t die, so he’s immortal. Flug doesn’t age, so Black Hat’s keeping him that way. Flug still working, so he’s still a slave. Flug doesn’t run away, so Black Hat is behaving well enough. Flug doesn’t kill himself, so he must be happy with his life. And so on…
They are right at some of it, and wrong at others. For example: Flug tried to kill himself, yes. At least twice. But Black Hat always succeeds in stopping him in time, which usually makes Flug cry, apologize and curse at him again and again and again.
The doctor stopped shaking his head after listening to the question about pain, remembering what he had just told himself a minute ago about being truthful —and then he half-nodded, cheeks flushing even more.
Well, not fully the reason, but it does have a parcel of fault in it.
"I mean..." He tried to explain, shrugging just one shoulder up. "It gets worse during the night when I finally relax my body—so it would be... painful ." He said, raising the mug to his lips under his paper bag, and at it, he finished with an even lower voice. "And not in a good way."
Black Hat just nodded his head, averting eye contact, taking the mug with one of his dark hands with claws and also sipping at it. He looked inside the tea, in awe—not expecting it to taste like that.
Flug didn't even need to look at him, to know what he was thinking about.
"It's wildflower honey and saltpeter." He explained, drinking from his own drink. "I knew you would like it." He gave a small sweet smile under the mask knowing the boss wouldn’t notice it.
Black Hat hummed at the reply. Looking at the weird-colored tea and delicious flavor with a pleased expression, making a non-challenging face, and then drinking it again. After swallowing he looked back at the human, his eyes squinted while asking—to be sure.
"You ain't drinking this too, are you?"
There it was. Again.
That tone of voice.
These ridiculous kinds of silly questions.
That unmistakable way of his, of showing affection without showing worry or letting go of the feeling of still being in charge. The same one that makes his heart skip a beat and tight in despair at the same time.
Flug almost left a snort. But he just laughed from inside, visibly shaking while smiling at the eternal bone of his existential crisis. The anchor that both keeps him safe and alive and drowning underwater with an oxygen cylinder for all perpetuity.
The one he loves, and who doesn’t even spend a freaking second to realize that loves him back because he ‘ isn’t capable of it ’.
Urgh, so archaic .
Flug still had tattoos on his skin that prevented anyone from touching him. Years ago Flug had come up with methods to make them stop part of the effect, but after he started bonding with the demon, Black Hat had practically doubled the number of tattoos…
Old-fashioned fucker.
Things would be so much simpler and clearer if Black Hat weren't so haughty .
"No, sir. Mine is just normal black tea." He clarified, still smiling behind his goggles at his silly question.
Black Hat hummed again, looking at Flug's smiling eyes and averting eye contact.
The scientist's wrist clock beeped, informing him about the time and he got up from the kitchen table, taking his cup of tea with him.
Black Hat looked at him leaving, the question regarding the reason hanging in the air. But since Flug couldn't read minds he just let it go without explaining himself.
After some time, Flug stopped informing Black Hat about his whereabouts and the boss stopped asking him (as long as it is organization related, obviously).
The scientist went back to work, as part of his daily routine, and Black Hat stayed on the kitchen table, finishing the journal, drinking his warm thoughtful handmade tea, and tapping his claws on the wood pretending he was completely uninterested in what the scientist was doing.
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
"Hmmmm, sir?" Flug asked, embarrassed by the number of people staring at them in the waiting room of the hospital.
The retired eldritch-supervillain looked at him, waiting for his question.
"Can you leave, please?"
"No." He replied, staring ahead again.
Flug sighed. Shoulders lowering.
"You're killing service by staying here. You have a full scheduled day." Flug reminded him, a bag with clothes on his side. "It's been on your desk since yesterday but I'll list it to you again —" He breathed and started it by memory. "—breakfast with the first lady of Serbia at 9, a group of clients at 10 on Lanai, and lunch with that villain that looks like a Pelican in San Francisco by noon." Once he said that Black Hat—who was half ignoring him, looked at him again, with an arched eyebrow.
"What's his name again?"
"Percy."
"Urgh, I always forget it."
"Actually his name is Nelson Albuquerque, but do not call him that or we'll lose the client."
"Such a silly name." He shook his head like he despised the guy behind said name.
"I kinda like him," Flug commented, shrugging, noticing his facial expression.
"No, you don't ." Black Hat grinned maliciously at his comment. "You just say that because he gave you that horrid twin-engine plane that has been gathering dust in the garage since 2017."
Flug opened his mouth in a wide smile, pointing a finger at his dark grinning face as if he finally had caught the bait he was waiting for.
" Ah-HA !” Black Hat kept grinning, but he rolled his eyes, he knew it was going to come. “So, you DO know what a twin-engine plane is!"
"It's hardly impossible not to learn something about your obsession after 50 years, Flug."
Endearing , isn’t it?
At moments like this, Flug feels like his eternal life has good points. Like they were something more instead of what Black Hat keeps insisting on believing.
The hospital staff and other humans sitting in the waiting room were looking at them without knowing what to think.
They looked so much like... a domestic couple chatting and bickering with each other.
The nurse in charge appeared a second later, calling the scientist's name.
"Kenning Flugslys?"
Black Hat's eyes shined a little red at her tone of voice. He hates it when people call Flug's full name. It sounded like they were in control of him and no one had the authority (or authorization).
The nurse took a scare and a few steps back at those red menacing eyes.
A yellow-gloved hand pressed against the villain’s dark arm.
"I'll be fine," Flug assured him. "I'll go now, okay?"
Black Hat followed with unreading eyes as Flug walked away from him, and right before he reached the nurse to enter through the staff-only hospital door, the ultimate villain called him.
"Flug." The way he calls his name used to make the doctor’s back chill, but now just makes him make a face of ‘here we go’ and turn around to look at him. Once he did, he noticed that every single person that heard it also had stopped to look at the scene unfolding. And, since Black Hat’s voice echoed, a lot of people were staring. Flug felt his cheeks blush in embarrassment. "You are not allowed to die." The villain said, with crossed arms.
"Yes, Sir. I know." He nodded his head and his voice was pretty much of a tired man - but he was smiling. He whispered an apology to the nurses that were staring with worry, explaining it was nothing more than his particular way of showing concern, and both entered the hospital wing a second later.
Black Hat was still restless, so he kept looking until Flug was completely out of view for at least five minutes. Once he decided it wouldn't change if he invaded there or not, he stood from the chair he was sitting in the waiting room. Everyone that was still looking at him, in silence, expectant of what he would do, just tried to avert eye contact once Black Hat realized he was being watched.
He looked around and grumbled, disappearing in a cloud of dark dust.
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
Black Hat’s concern regarding Flug’s well-being is justifiable.
Flug is part of his organization, part of his daily life, and part of his… personal comfort .
Even before they had started this… ‘ relationship of a kind’ , where once a week he acts like Flug is a significant other, the scientist was nothing more than a pet butler . Flug would make his life easier . Not like he didn’t know how to live without him, he just had forgotten how to.
He didn’t know what it was like to wake up and not have Flug there, in the mansion, walking around the corridors, cleaning, preparing them something to drink or eat, working, and organizing his daily routine like the expert he was.
So when it happened, many years ago, that Flug gave signals that he wasn’t satisfied with things and that he was thinking about creating a life outside the mansion—Black Hat panicked.
Of course, he wouldn’t confess it, to anyone, ever . But he did.
He was afraid of losing him.
He had made Flug stay the old-fashioned way—by making his skin as his possession . And the smart bastard even got his own way of dodging part of the magic using his brain which made Black Hat proud of him at the same time it made him pissed.
He shouted at Flug one day and realized too late his mistake.
The doctor had asked him his reasons, but he didn’t have any.
When Flug cried he hugged him, because he was just as desperate.
When Flug left, he lost control.
And when Flug came back, the relief was so huge he finally realized why .
He wouldn’t confess to anyone, never . So he had to make Flug stay - any way possible.
Flug asked little from him. It was practically nothing troublesome. But it was weird for a while.
Black Hat understands his feelings as being simple and rational - he doesn’t feel love, but he does feel desire, pleasure, and urges. So, as long as Flug could voice his wants, demonstrate and/or make it clear what he wants from him, Black Hat could do it.
The problem might have started because Flug stopped doing that.
He stopped seeking him out as frequently or as usual. He started to ask what Black Hat wanted to do instead, or would drag him to take part in housewifely things, and without the supervillain realizing what exactly changed they started doing things… softer, and more domestic . Like cooking while chatting, chilling in front of the TV, reading together on the sofa, sitting outside the mansion, looking at the street, and drinking tea or something else that would match the atmosphere.
On some memorable days, for example, Flug would take the opportunity to drink wine and turn on his old victrola gramophone. He would choose some music older than him and dance around the library - calling the eldritch to do the same. It happened just a few times after so many years, but those were very enjoyable memories. The scientist would be too drunk to even waltz correctly. Not to mention he doesn’t know how to waltz at all and never learned. So Black Hat would, again, show him how to really dance and it would develop into a nice evening with laughings, bickerings, embraces with slow dance, kisses, and sex over that unfailing sofa on the corner. With Flug taking a nap there, after, covered by Black Hat’s overcoat as he sits nearby and reads a book while listening to the last songs of the vinyl disc.
On other occasions, not exactly what they would usually do as an employer-employee, but something just as soft and normal. For another example, they would go out. They would go to the park, eat hotdogs, walk around, sometimes go to the movies, sometimes to a cafe place, sometimes to a science convention, exposition, or the museum, then, they would go somewhere high to stare at the sunset, or the stars, go have dinner together, experiment new dishes and new places, karaoke (no, he wouldn’t dare sing—unless he wanted to make people’s ears bleed), or even a themed motel.
Every now and then they would do vile things too, such as kidnapping, explosions, and robberies, but it happened just a couple of times since Flug wouldn't consider it a "romantic date".
Black Hat was pretty okay with going on with all these, and for as long as Flug decided to! (yes, it was a bewilderment to him too.)
So, it took him by surprise and panic, when Flug tried to kill himself for the first time.
He thought they were working things out nicely. That it was going smoothly and the way Flug wished for. He thought he was being exactly the kind of a guy he wanted as a lover—so he could fulfill his part of the deal and they would keep living together, with Flug still being his pet-butler .
The scientist gave him a horrible excuse when he confronted him about it.
“ Why? ”
“I’m sorry… I was tired .” He said. “I just didn’t feel like going with it anymore.”
But that wasn’t true. Couldn’t be true.
Black Hat was okay with it, and he was the one that had to deal with it.
Flug was the one that chose it and he wasn’t satisfied?
…
Was Black Hat not… doing his part well?
“Am I not making you happy?” He was so shocked he didn’t even know what else to ask.
Flug cried for the whole night but laughed the following morning explaining it was a stupid idea since Black Hat wouldn’t even let him stay dead if he wished (which was true).
But the action is the one that counts. The fact that the doctor had attempted suicide counted as a huge burden to him.
He knew there must be a reason behind it, other than just emotional exhaustion. Flug was hiding something from him, and he had the right to know the truth.
After all, he’s still the boss.
So when it happened again, Black Hat was prepared.
He initiated the talk, demanded a true answer and Flug spit it out.
“I love you. Wish I didn’t , but I do.” And then it made sense to him.
Flug wished Black Hat could love him back.
But he doesn’t.
He can’t.
And twenty or so years later, he still… can not?
Flug begs to differ - after all this time. If the subject was brought up he’d confess Black Hat is just being stubborn that doesn’t understand his own feelings, but it’s impossible to act the way he does without having them.
Black Hat is fully aware of the situation he’s in. Flug loves him and he needs to be by his side and make him happy so he doesn’t try to kill himself again or leave him. But just because he’s doing a hell of a good job it doesn’t mean he has gone soft, or that he has feelings. (...does it?)
He’s just… really, really, really and naturally good at it—skills, gathered, after so many years. … Nothing more…
…
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
"Who's the owner of this glass of wine?" He asked, pointing at the screen of his tablet.
It was a picture of Flug sitting on a table, looking with surprise at the camera. Besides him, there were two glasses of wine. One is Flug's. And the other only-god-knows who’s.
It wasn’t that-day-of-the-week. The scientist was working but for some reason Black Hat decided to bring the subject up.
He has been doing that a lot in the past few years, and Flug won’t be the one to point it out. He ain't stupid. Sometimes he even gets lucky twice a week.
"The same person that took the photo." The scientist replied, not clarifying Black Hat’s question, sliding his wheelchair to pick a paper on a farther table.
"But who ?" The dark villain repeated, watching the doctor slide.
"Why does it matter ?" Flug shrugged, rolling his eyes, picking up the paper, and sliding back to his computer.
"It does to me." He replied, putting his shoes in the way of the sliding chair so it would stop in front of him. Keeping Flug from getting away from the subject. He frowned, pointing at the tablet’s screen with a talon.
Flug arched an eyebrow at him, crossing his arms on his chest.
"Are you jealous?" He asked.
Black Hat arched both his eyebrows simultaneously as if he was caught eavesdropping on Flug’s personal phone-calls again.
"I--I'm not. I don't feel jealous!” He defended, straightening his back, and letting out a laugh at the absurdness of the question. A drop of sweat was probably hidden on the side of his neck or temple. “I'm a creature made of pure evil and hatred."
Flug nodded his head, just like he always does. But, seriously Black Hat needs to get a taste of reality now and then - and Flug sometimes gets way too stressed over his haughtiness.
" Exactly .” Then, he asked again, grinning as if he caught the bird flying. “So, why does it matter who is the owner of that glass?"
"Because--” Black Hat frowned at him again, getting pissed that Flug was rubbing it on his face. “Because I want to know. That's why."
The scientist sighed, shaking his head.
Seriously… This man…
"It's yours , Sir."
Black Hat looked lost.
"Mine?"
"Yes.” Flug almost laughed. “Ten years ago. When I first gave you this tablet. You were the one that took this picture, Sir."
"... So it isn't... someone else drinking wine with you?"
"During the night we supposedly were celebrating our anniversary?” Flug arched an eyebrow at him. “ Hardly ."
Black Hat looked at the picture again, and finally at some details of the place that indeed were on the back of his mind - like that restaurant they had visited at least a dozen times.
"Oh..."
He almost felt ashamed of the situation.
"Are you absolutely sure you can't feel jealousy?” Flug took the opportunity to playfully rub it a little bit more on his face. He deserves it, really. “Because it looks like jealousy to me." He commented, sliding his chair back to the computer.
"Don't be silly , Flug." Black Hat replied, using that tone of voice the scientist hated.
Not that tone of someone faking embarrassment. The one that was completely 100% convicted and was making Flug’s blood boil again. The kind of voice that was one of the main reasons why he tried to kill himself that second time.
It made the scientist freeze his fingers over the keyboard, with a hard frown on his face.
He had managed to control his problem with that tone of voice, but sometimes, sometimes , his anger talks louder .
"I lied." He exclaimed, turning to look at the boss, to read his face.
Black Hat started back at him.
"It's not you.” He stood from his chair. “We don't celebrate anniversaries, Black Hat, because you said you are too evil to do that." He took a few steps closer, so he could look at Black Hat’s facial expression better. To see his reaction in full detail. "So every year, on that specific day, I go out with a random villain you wrote down on your 'hate-list', and I let them fuck me."
Black Hat’s eyes widened, and his mouth gaped, but he remained silent.
"..."
"The owner of that glass is Guillard Anthony Third . That vampire guy you have hated since ‘94." Flug explained. His eyes were unreadable and Black Hat was having a hard time trying to guess if he was telling the truth or not. "We drank a lot. And we fucked that night too. Three times on a roll.” Flug grinned and somehow it made Black Hat even more pissed that it might really have happened behind his back. Flug got a few inches closer to whisper the following words. “And I called him ' master ' many times in the middle of it, without him even asking me to."
"..."
"..."
Then, the reaction came - it was exactly the expression Flug was expecting.
The atmosphere became more sinister and frightening around that evil and terrifying being. Glasses all around began to shake and shatter. The villain groaned, overflowing with hate. He was breathing like an animal, his eyes were red and he destroyed the tablet in his hands with one effortless squeeze.
Flug only smiled at him, amused and slightly excited by the reaction. And just like the sweet guy he is, he caressed his boss' arm.
“ Relax , it did not happen.” He assured before Black Hat could vanish on a cloud of dark smoke and Guillard’s tombstone was dug for Black Hat to hit his dead face. “But, yeah, that was one of the last anniversaries we celebrated, that’s why you probably don't remember.”
Black Hat took a deep breath, in relief and confessed under an angry stare.
"... this was painful. Why did you say that?"
"THIS--" Flug took the opportunity of his hand to press a finger against the villain’s chest. "-is a pain called jealousy ."
And just like a patient teacher, he waited for his student to understand .
"..."
"Did you like it?" He asked, to instigate a response to the lesson given.
"... no." Black Hat answered in another groan.
"Good to know." Flug whispered, smiling even wider at him, turning around and sitting back at his chair, ignoring Black Hat’s sullen face.
When you live enough, you start learning some things... when you work for Black Hat for as long as Flug has been working... you start to lose control over certain situations, especially when technically you have nothing to lose.
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
"Flug said I'm jealous of him." Black Hat exclaimed, like it was absurd and obviously the other three villains sitting there with him were going to be on his side.
They all started laughing.
“ Exactly !” The ultimate supervillain agreed, understanding it wrong. “So silly… ”
"Wait, what? Are you serious?" Asked one, probably The Grim Reaper. "Man, that's not news to us."
"Yeah, you've been jealous of him since... what? EVER?" Replied Bill Cypher.
"No, I'm not!" Black Hat defended himself, completely incredulous that they weren’t on his side.
"Oh, please . You get yourself in the middle of any minimal intimate conversation Flug has with anyone, and if someone goes against your will you kill them."
"I'm protecting my sanctuary, so what? You guys do the same."
"No, we don't." Explained the red-skinned demon that goes by ‘ him ’ as a name. "I'm currently single. Grim and Malaria divorced. So Cypher is the only one that relates to that, and he's not even that jealous of Dipper."
"I said I'm NOT jealous---fucking hell you three..."
The "meeting room," or whatever that dark space they used as a meeting place was, had just a few ornate dark wood furniture, comfortable and expensive armchairs, and each decorated in the way each one preferred or that matched their own peculiar taste.
Arching an eyebrow, the flying triangle guy shook his head.
"Let's see…” Bill transformed himself into a man and started to count on his fingers as he explained out loud. “One: We can't talk shit about him without you going mad, because you are the only one allowed to do that. Two: We can't talk GOOD shit about his work without you thinking we are plotting a way of kidnapping him from you, either. Three: We also can't be on his side when you two fight even though he has the right on it, because you think we are plotting against YOU to get to him - and Four: We can't NOT talk about him when you bring the subject up because otherwise, we are purposefully hiding some other ulterior motives." Explained.
"Actually, you've always been like that. It just got worse after you two married." Commented The Grim Reaper.
"We didn't marry ."
"Oh, right, it's just a 'deal' - how do you say it--?" The Grim Reaper asked the blond man besides him.
The other villain voiced a reply with a fake husky voice to imitate BH.
" ' We are just strengthening non-existing interpersonal ties through the practice of a made-up healthy relationship so that my human remains happy and working for the rest of his existence under my possession ’ , did I get it right?" Bill Cypher laughed at his own imitation.
"And for how long has it been working out again?" The Grim Reaper asked to his other side, where 'Him' was mixing a martini.
Each of their 'existential planes' (animated television channels) works differently, after all. It's better to ask someone from the same realm of BH about the time.
"My three little colorful nuisances are well-adjusted middle-aged adults by now. So at least 20 years."
"See? It IS kind of a marriage ."
"And one longer than mine, even."
"We didn't marry !" Black Hat repeated out loud. "It's still a deal— nothing more ."
"A deal that you would have broken already if it wasn't for your doctor's perfect submission, multitasking skills, unending patience, dark-humor and cute face." ‘Him’ said, sipping his drink.
"How do you know his real face?" The eldritch supervillain asked suspiciously at the red-skinned demon.
"See?!" Bill Cypher pointed out, like he had caught the fish jumping out of the water. "This is jealousy!"
"I'll leave this club." Black Hat groaned in reply.
"Ah-ha! No, you won't." The Grim Reaper would have rolled his eyes if he had any, but he just waved his hand as if he could say ‘we are not buying this shit again’.
"Why haven't you already, huuummm?" Cypher asked spitefully, raising a finger, waiting for the answer he already knew.
Black Hat remained in silence, frowning at them all.
The other villains started answering for him.
"Because he can't vent about Flug otherwise?" ‘Him’ asked out loud, full of malice.
"Because Flug said it's good for him to engage in something other than business, outside the mansion, from time to time?" Grim asked as well, grinning mischievously. “And because Flug has his own scientist's club once a month and Black Hat is not allowed to participate?”
But Cypher went for the spot he knew hurt the most.
"Probably all that!” He laughed, sending him a knowing look. “But also, maybe it’s because he doesn't understand humans, and wants desperately to know what happened that made Flug stop seeking sex with him."
A loud noise was heard, and all the glasses holding drinks near them broke to pieces as Black Hat stood from his chair.
"That's it — I'm leaving." He took his coat in one arm and his walking stick in the other.
"'till next month!!" Bill Cypher shouted before he left, just like the other two.
"Give Flug my good regards." The Grim Reaper waved a hand in the air, holding a laugh.
"Bye bye~" Said ‘Him’, snickering.
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
That is an outrage to his person.
He’s a powerful creature, his existence causes entire civilizations to tremble just by pronouncing his name out loud. And yet, here he is, waiting, in bed, for his puny human to feel like he has finished his work for the day.
Okay, he is the main reason why the doctor was working so hard, but also, the human is usually the one to point a finger at his face because he delayed a single hour out of those weekly 24 he uses to relax - how come he doesn’t throw everything to the air when time hits 18 o’clock?
For an eldritch-powerful and immortal creature such as Black Hat, the time is relatively confusing and passes so quickly that it is common for it to get tricky. But Flug takes these days very seriously, so after a while the demon often considers indulging in two days, since it’s better than none - just in case he forgets what day it was supposed to be again.
And that's the reason for his constant mood swings, on random days of the week. And not because he also likes those lazy, quiet days, or that he wants one more day a week to enjoy with his scientist.
“For fucks sake, that’s disgraceful .” He groaned, standing from the bed and flicking some fingers for a dark robe to tie itself around him as he walked to the door. “The audacity of making me wait.” Not that he was looking forward to it or anything. He didn't even know what the plans were for that night. But surely staying in the lab up to exhaustion was counterproductive to any plans that interested him at the moment.
Flug always expected him to make some effort during the intercourse but the human hardly ever lasts more than a few minutes - and passing out in the middle of the act is completely disappointing since it means that the fun was over without even getting started properly.
He crossed his arms, pissed, walking grumpily downstairs.
The shadows of the house avoided his steps.
When he arrived at the lab he got even more pissed.
Not just was Flug NOT WORKING, but he was completely passed out over his counter. There were many vials over the surface, scribblings on notes, and one of those ridiculous drawings 5.0.5. had drawn him when he still could function. His paper bag was marked as if from the inside of his goggles leaked water - fuck, his human had cried.
“... fuck .” He sighed, losing all the anger.
He knew Flug had been working on something behind his back for many months, probably even before he had that bloody surgery at the beginning of the year, but looking at those fluorescent baby-blue liquids and genetic blueprints, Black Hat finally realized what it was.
But it was useless , and Flug knew it.
He would never succeed in creating anything similar to 5.0.5. again. It’s not like he hadn’t tried over all these past years - and each time that it comes out wrong he gets worse (and Black Hat is the one that has to kill the formless homunculus over and over again). Flug is great with many many many many many fields of study, but he’s way too triggered by this soft subject of creating artificial life again after he saw that blue bear he called a son die.
He wept for years. He has been weeping whenever he sees his drawings or tries to study genetics again.
The supervillain should have noticed that Flug putting an all-nighter was doomed to be a headache, he had been way too awkward this week.
Black Hat looked at the calendar on his table on the far wall of the lab and squinted his eyes to read it — Thursday…
Something was written on it.
It was 5.0.5. birthday.
Bloody hell… Black Hat would never remember such a thing after so many decades.
Flug, on the other side, might be.
Scratch it—of course he would remember.
He remembers everything.
From the day they met to the last words, they shared in the evening. From Black Hat’s favorite taste in music to Black Hat’s preference for smells .
It was an understatement that Flug would remember when it was 5.0.5’s birthday. Even Dementia's birthdays, to this day, were all remembered. It’s Black Hat that doesn’t really give much attention to it… And since Flug does care about it, it feels like his duty to be by his side.
He looked back at Flug’s sleeping body over the messy work table and picked some of the vials - throwing them inside one of the chemical containment tanks by the corner—and cleaned the rest. He saved the paper in the drawer he knew was where Flug kept them, and in the end, he got back to the table, picking the scientist up in his arms.
Taking the doctor back to his room, the evil eldritch changed his clothes, laid him on the bed, and took off his mask—noticing Flug had indeed cried a lot.
He kept looking at him for a few seconds before he got an idea.
Well… not ideal—but at least for tonight it wouldn’t hurt. Flug needed it, and Black Hat felt like he wanted to make him better.
That night, his human had a good sleep, hugging the soft blue fur of his baby bear and dreaming (with a little dark-magical help) about some random moments of them all still there in his memory.
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
“I was thinking about a date , actually.” The scientist-customer told Flug, and the human only watched those green ones with widened eyes. “We could--”
Flug quickly raised a finger in the air, shushing him.
“ Don’t .” He replied.
After a minute of silence with Flug looking sideways, he took a deep breath in and sighed.
“Look, you seem like a nice guy. And I know you’re new to this side of the universe, so I can’t blame you for not knowing about this -” The scientist explained to his colleague, briefly tugging at the sleeve of his lab coat and showing him a moving tattoo. Then, he pressed a finger to one of the pages of BHO’s brand catalog of alien technology weapons he was selling. “-but you cannot hit on me unless you want to be swallowed up by your own shadow.”
Flug will not be the one to write ‘Demon’s Sanctuary’ on his forehead, so he let the gossip do it for him.
The bald, tall alien man with green eyes looked at him grinning maliciously, probably thinking it was foreplay.
“You are taken?” He arched an eyebrow, widening his grin and inching closer. “I love picking up married men, they carry so much pent-up energy .”
Flug, in reply, inched back, farther, his cheeks getting warm at the daring talk.
“Taken? Yes. Married? … depends on your point of view.” He shrugged, looking sideways. He couldn’t see Black Hat anywhere. He had gone to the other side of the conference room to meet another acquaintance of his. The tattoo was still moving over his skin, tho. So the alarm was set up. “Either way, I don’t really want to get in trouble if you don’t behave, just please drop the deal. My boss is really possessive .”
“You mean that crusty Eldritch with the tophat that was yelling at you less than half an hour ago?”
Flug couldn’t contradict that statement.
“... Yeah.”
The alien barely shook his head in pity.
“I didn’t think the best scientist of this universe would be such a masochist…”
Flug’s cheek blushed even more at that comment. He started stuttering, defending himself.
“L-look here you giant Pea-pod !” He frowned, pointing at the tall alien guy. “I demand your respect, don’t you forget I am powered by the most deadly weapons of human-kind at reach-distance !”
The guy dared to grin even more maliciously at him, his teeth looked very similar to his boss’, very pointy and dangerous - but Flug didn’t falter this time. He was pretty used to that kind of smile. Missed , even.
“Oh, so feisty .” The alien kidded, in awe at the human’s tone of voice. “You sure you don’t want hookups? I love some fierce smart boys.”
Flug groaned, he didn’t want to be rude to the clients but that was reaching his limit.
Yet, one thing he's learned from Black Hat over the years: customers are easily manipulated, you just have to use something they want from you as bait.
And because of the organization's cost-cutting, they are always thinking about making more money. Black Hat, mainly, encouraged him to sell more and more. And since Flug was tired of having to do marketing, the faster he sells the products the better.
So Flug threw the bait and pointed to the catalog again.
“How about you purchase something, and I write my phone number on the back of the payment voucher ?”
The alien guy hummed, taking the catalog in his hands and purposefully pressing one of his hands over Flug’s gloves. The scientist’s eyes shrunk inside the goggles in surprise. He opened his mouth to criticize him, but then he just took a deep breath and sighed, looking with half-closed eyes at the grinning taller green man.
“Well, I warned you.” He said.
After the touch, the drawings around Flug's skin began to move even more and it didn't take long for the black-suited demon to appear with an unhappy expression on his face.
Black Hat appeared, emerging from some nearby shadow, and eyed both of them with extreme suspicion.
“Look at it…” The alien almost whistled at the public demonstration of protectiveness. “The collar really does have an alarm."
“And you are?” Asked the villain, looking at Flug for a second to be sure he was safe and then back at the tall green guy.
“Usually an invader and conqueror of solar systems.” He grinned at the newcomer villain, stuffing his chest. “Right now? On a journey doing anthropology research .”
That was a very unique way to say the guy was traveling through multi-universes picking up guys as a solo adventure…
Black Hat looked at both of them.
Flug got uncomfortable.
“I was just trying to sell the merchandise and he touched my hand.” He explained in a lower voice. They were getting attention from the other customers. “Nothing intimate happened, Sir. Everything is fine .”
Black Hat seemed slightly better after that explanation.
“Oh, if that’s the case, how about we negotiate? I can show you something I bet you will buy?” He defiantly asked the taller alien.
The other one averted eye contact with the supervillain to check on the scientist again.
“If I'm forced to buy something, I’d rather purchase it with the skinny one and get his number.”
“... his number ?”
That’s when Flug remembered why he can’t get nice things . God forgot about him many years ago. He’s doomed to be at fault for everything wrong that happens to him. Life sucks .
He wishes he could give up on it.
Flug turned quickly back at Black Hat to explain noticing he was growing furious .
“I-I was not--!! Sir, h-he was being pushy an-and I only said that so I could sell something--” He stuttered, looking at those red eyes.
Even though Black Hat had already done this several times too, Dr. Flug was bluffing about him doing it. He would never have given his personal phone number to that customer!
“Actually, let me rephrase it--” The alien started again, to make things worse . “--if I'm forced to buy something, I’d rather purchase the skinny one instead of just his number.” Said the alien. “Traders like you are the same in all universes. You put a price on literally everything .” He said evilly and maliciously, criticizing Black Hat. “How about 2 hours?”
Jezus.
Christ.
Someone was trying to pay Black Hat to sleep with Flug.
Oh, look, the weirdest dejavú ever .
With a deep inhalation of air, Flug pressed his eyes shut tightly.
He expected a crater to open up the ground and swallow that customer. He expected three-dimensional rifts with slaughter-hungry creatures. He expected anything deadly— except what actually happened.
Black Hat tapped the brim of his tophat to hide his eyes, then he turned around, took one of the weapons on the table nearby, got back, loaded it, and gave it to Flug.
The scientist didn’t need to be told what he had to do.
He shot the client with his own weapon.
… and it felt really good. (He had warned him, didn’t he?)
The alien fell backward, coughing up some black goo. Apparently, that weapon really could kill many species, the other customers got even more impressed (some of them even took a flier to read about it later).
“You fucker !” Shouted the alien, then, finally, a crack in the ground, filled with slaughter-thirsty creatures appeared to drag the body to the far reaches of the underworld.
Flug smiled, grateful that it hadn't developed into anything absurdly embarrassing or dangerous. There were still customers there checking out the goods. It would be bad for business if they dropped everything—it was a brilliant and responsible choice on Black Hat's part—not be carried away by anger.
It made him smile fondly under the paper bag.
But the mood didn't improve at all after that alien's body disappeared.
In fact, he looked even worse .
An icy air suddenly started to pour from inside Black Hat's overcoat and started to scare the customers away. That rented booth of theirs got cold fast. Freezing , even. And Black Hat still had his face completely hidden.
Flug couldn’t read what he was feeling. It made him worried.
“...Sir?”
The lights in the convention center suddenly went out, and in the pitch, black Flug could see what he believed to be an absolutely hateful, terrifying, hidden gaze staring straight at him.
He swallowed dry, sweating with fear.
“S-sir…” He repeated.
In the darkness, people started to disperse inside the hall, when there was no one else inside the area that was exclusively for the BHO - magically, all the openings closed.
And, once isolated from the audience outside, the villain got even more serious while staring at the scientist.
That didn't help Flug at all. His hands started to shake.
“Sir, I--” He decided to start. The darkness around him only made him more nervous. It was really dark. “If this is because of the phone number--”
Black Hat finally moved, stepping forward and cornering Flug in one of the tables. When he felt the back of his hip hit the end of it, he raised both hands up, begging for mercy.
Black Hat took his wrist with a firm grip and leaned forward. Flug blushed.
He didn’t lean away.
They kissed.
One well-dressed arm held the scientist’s back. Tattoos started dancing around his skin. Black Hat started using his tongue. Flug kissed him back. A yellow-gloved hand held the back of the supervillain’s neck.
They deepened it.
Black Hat pulled both of the scientist’s legs off the ground and threw him over the table. The weapons slipped to the far back, and one ended up falling to the ground. Usually, it would make them both mad but right now it didn’t matter.
The ultimate villain pressed both hands beside Flug’s head. The table shook. He stared at him for a long second, with the scientist blushing even more under those red menacing eyes.
“Did you plan this?” He asked, leaning back, and taking his overcoat off.
“No, I didn’t.” Flug replied breathlessly.
Black Hat squinted his eyes again, defying the human.
“Trying to ‘ make a point ’ again?” He growled hoarsely between closed teeth, while untying his tie. “ Testing my patience ?”
Flug shook his head.
“Of course not, sir!!” Flug retorted. “I-I swear .”
Black Hat rolled the tie on his hands and pulled each end to straighten it.
Flug swallowed dry.
“You were trying to make a scene , weren’t you?”
“No, sir- I--”
“Did you really think you could corner me into confessing in public that I DO give a damn about who touches you?” Black Hat leaned closer again, so Flug could see his red eyes even better in that darkness. The straightened line of the tie was pressed against Flug’s throat—suffocating him. “Perhaps the branding as my sanctuary isn't enough, should I really put a collar on you?”
Flug, stuttering and losing breath by the second, tried to pull it off while Black Hat just pressed it more against the surface of the table and over the scientist’s neck.
It was far from the first time. And Flug felt his face flush with the mad vibe over him.
Also, the prospect of his boss following that plan involving a collar made him feel hot.
Like he was back at being twenty again.
Yeah… maybe he is a damn masochist.
“You won’t defy my authority again.” Black Hat demanded, pulling it out, just before his human suffocated.
Flug, taking large gulps of oxygen, shook his flushed face. Pupils fully dilated.
“-- never , my lord.” He moaned.
Black Hat felt pleasure in looking at the state he had put the scientist in. He grinned, frowned, and got closer.
He held Flug’s chin in his hands and looked at his lovestruck eyes.
“Now, answer me . Why do other people have the impression you are willing to mate, and I don’t ?”
The scientist didn’t even know how to answer that.
And that was actually a good question too. One of the many problems between them nowadays.
Flug is always working, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t horny. Having just a couple of days of the month to have sex sucks, because it means he can’t just destress whenever he feels like it. And being the one that always needs to initiate it is actually very discouraging, and he loses all enthusiasm.
Not to mention that it’s almost impossible to ask for initiative regarding feelings from Black Hat.
He never again slept with other people, which goes completely against what he promised to the supervillain that’s still his boss. But it doesn’t mean he can’t… well, give himself a pleasure. Especially on the occasions, he doesn’t feel like waiting days for it to happen, and all he wants is to be taken in the middle of the day, like an object of pleasure for his master.
Sometimes, when Black Hat shows up in the lab, he’d start daydreaming that would be the day he’d take the initiative and do him over the table, between half-sold metal plates, and not stop even if he begged for it. But of course, he doesn’t.
So, Flug is willing to mate with him (God knows!! He craves it at least once a month!), it’s just that… his boss doesn’t understand normal human libido.
“M-maybe you just don’t notice it, Sir.”
With that answer, Black Hat growled dissatisfied.
“So you are saying I am the problem?” He questioned, clearly angrier, adjusting the tie on his hand again.
Flug eyed the tie being strengthened again and made a quick question internally about how much trouble he wanted to get himself into, considering it was in the middle of the morning and they were technically still inside the hall of the event…
The short and honest answer was that he actually wanted to get in trouble.
“Yes…?” And deep down he hoped that was the wrong answer.
Villain customers passing by their booth be damned , he won’t even try holding back screams.
“So I think it’s time for me to make a point .” Black Hat squinted his eyes, invoking another three pairs of arms for help.
Flug’s breath failed, and he just knew he was gonna get a slap in the butt by one of them when he least expected it.
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
It was silly but, whenever Flug and Black Hat sleep on the same bed, those tattoos over his skin change .
Sometimes it disappears, sometimes it moves in a completely different order and sometimes it even shines .
Once, he woke up in the middle of the night and noticed Black Hat tracing the ones on his hip like he was redrawing them (even though Flug knows he doesn't need to touch him for the drawings to appear).
After a while, Flug stopped deeming the tattoos as a leash and started deeming them as a ring (more like a marriage contract).
Yes, he knows. The way he sees it is completely on his mind because the reason would never change: it was meant to mark Flug as Black Hat's possession. That is its purpose. Yes, he knows .
Yet… let him pretend . Things are better this way. If Black Hat can pretend he doesn’t feel anything for Flug even though everyone else would say otherwise, the human can pretend he’s in a healthy relationship instead of this unending weird bond-pact-soul-selling-shit.
Truth be told, he wasn’t even the one that started it.
Flug spent at least one whole year knowing and acting as it was: nothing but a deal. But it was Black Hat that changed it all for it because of the way he looks at Flug’s marks during these nights.
He looks at it like it's the first time he ever did it like it's unique and precious. He guards its existence like a rabid dog and will kill people to keep them in place. He gets really mad when Flug tries to tame them (which he learned how, years ago, and ended up sleeping with other people… BH is still pissed about it). And when they spend too much time away from each other, the supervillain will check on them and try to redraw the lines for the sake of... "ensuring perfect functioning" or whatever.
It is arduous. It is tiring. It felt domestic. And it is kinda cute in his possessive way.
Whenever it happens things get soft between them right after. Especially in bed, with Flug pretending to sleep and Black Hat tracing over the marks of his skin with his talons.
It is the closest thing to being mindlessly-caressed-with-love-after-having-sex he will ever experience, even though it’s by his eldritch-horror pseudo-husband .
Now, just like one of those days, Flug opened his groggy and half-sleepy eyes and noticed he was laying on his boss' bed, with Black Hat tracing the drawings that are shining on the side of his ribs.
After the punishment in the event, Black Hat decided he hadn't had enough and took it to another level at night, on his bed. Flug was marked all over and completely exhausted (to the point that he fainted right after). With the caress, he ended up waking up.
But didn’t say anything, because he was liking the attention.
The talon ran over his skin and stopped near a bite he himself did on his chest. He stopped and sighed.
Flug was a pro at reading behind Black Hat’s sighs. He didn’t even need to open his eyes and look at his face - It was a sigh of resentment.
The human didn’t want to start the conversation again about human needs and feelings and other things Eldritch abominations can’t comprehend, before at least another half an hour of sleep. So, after hearing it, instead of saying anything or pretending he was asleep, he placed a hand on top of Black Hat’s.
The supervillain looked at it with surprise.
Flug pulled the hand to his own chest and pressed Black Hat's palm against his heart.
Without saying a single word, Black Hat stopped bothering the human and just looked at his action with indecipherable eyes.
Flug held his hand fondly against his chest and kissed it. Then, he drove back to sleep.
The eldritch creature inched closer, laid back down beside his human, spooned him, and hugged.
He didn't sleep. He doesn't need to. But he didn’t leave. He felt Flug's calm heartbeats against his palm—making him less… anxious, bothered, and angered.
All the annoying thoughts that flooded his mind disappeared.
And only one thing remained.
A clarification:
Not having control of the other sucks; feeling jealousy sucks; getting mad all the time at someone you care about sucks; and feeling like nothing else matters in the end, as long as he’s there, sucks.
So… that's love?
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
When Flug woke up the next day, Black Hat wasn’t there. But his favorite dark overcoat was thrown over Flug’s resting body—which was a reminder that they were both good and he was nearby if necessary.
The human pressed it against his face and smelt it, moaning in embarrassment at how damn effective that still was.
How long has it been? Fifty years? He stopped counting…
He stood from the bed and noticed he’d need painkillers. Black Hat had indeed abused him to his merry pleasure - which the doctor won’t complain about. He felt refreshed although sore.
When Flug started to wear his clothes, still quite sleepy, his eyes widened when he saw no tattoo over his skin.
None at all.
They were gone. Absolutely gone .
His skin was clear and white as it used to be.
“What tha’heck ?!“ He shouted, scared. He was so used to them he felt naked even under the clothes.
He left the room on a sprint, running to the office.
“Boss!” He called, entering without even knocking.
He wasn’t there.
Flug felt his chest tight. Although he had left the overcoat, the scientist was now thinking all kinds of desperate things.
Why did he take them out? Is he not useful anymore? Does Black Hat get tired of him? Did he say the wrong thing? Did he push their relationship too hard? Will he be left to the dogs?
But walking down the stairs, Flug heard some noise coming from the kitchen.
When he reached the place, he saw Black Hat sitting on the table, reading a newspaper and drinking tea - a sight rare to see first thing in the morning, since Flug is the one that usually pours him a cup.
Flug stood at the entrance of the kitchen taking deep breaths because of the running.
Black Hat looked at him with a quiet and non-challenging expression.
“No big deal.” He told him instead of a greeting or before Flug could even ask.
The human waved a hand in the air, shocked.
“Of course it’s a big deal!”
“I don’t see why it would be.” Black Hat replied to him, reading the newspaper.
Flug felt his face get red and his eyes start to fill with tears.
“Care to at least explain ?” He asked, between hiccups.
The eldritch looked at him confused, not understanding his drama or sadness. He placed the newspaper on the table and stood from the chair.
“Explain what? Why are you panicking?” He reached closer.
Flug took a step forward and pressed his tearful face against Black Hat’s chest.
“Why did you take them off? Am I not your Sanctuary anymore?” His voice didn’t stutter, but it was shaky.
Black Hat held Flug’s shoulders and looked into his eyes.
“Don’t be dramatic.” He said, almost laughing at Flug’s misery. “Yes, you’re still my Sanctuary.”
Flug sighed in relief.
“So why did you take them off?”
Black Hat averted eye contact and rambled, slowly.
“I didn’t . They are just… modernized .”
Flug kept looking at him, not fully understanding.
“I don’t get it.”
Black Hat sighed.
“You didn’t notice, did you?”
“Notice what?” Flug asked.
The eldritch took a deep breath and his cheeks got slightly flushed.
“... It’s on your finger.”
Flug took a few seconds to process the info, but then his eyes widened, his mood switched up at once and he frantically raised his hand to look for them.
It looked just like the tattoo around his body, but it was there, around the base of the third finger. The annulary. Between the middle finger and the little finger.
The ring finger.
Flug’s mouth froze open, his eyes gleamed like a kid’s, amazed, lovestruck .
“Again, no big deal.” Black Hat repeated, placing an arm on his back and waving the other. “Technically it’s still the same, I just changed the shape.” He said. “But I realized you’d prefer it like this.”
The doctor looked between his ring finger and Black Hat, in front of him.
His eyes didn’t stop shining bright like he had received the most precious Christmas gift ever.
“ I do .” Flug said with his heart beating a thousand per second. He didn’t wait for any questions .
“ Good .” Black Hat replied, grinning. “Because you are eternally mine already.”
The scientist reached for Black Hat’s face fondly, and Black Hat met him halfway.