Chapter Text
Bulma laughed, leaning back against the rim of the large hot tub. “Seriously? He was into it?”
“I swear, I was just as surprised as you,” Chichi giggled. “I did not think he would be the one tied up.”
“He told us he didn't want to hurt you,” Raditz said lazily. His head leaned back over the side of the tub where two brave and blushing women were working on rubbing conditioner into his massive hair.
Chichi snorted. “Oh, please. I suggested we try ropes and his hands were behind his back in a second. I have no idea how long he's been waiting to try that.”
“Goku?” Videl asked incredulously. “That's hard to believe.”
“Not really,” Eighteen shrugged, sipping her maitai. “That's what power play is all about. People who normally have the power want to lose it for a while and people who have less of it want a taste. Krillin's always in charge when we pull out the handcuffs.”
“Oh my gods!” Raditz exclaimed suddenly, making them jump. “Is there like a special school that teaches you guys about magic fingers, or were you just born with this talent?”
The women working his scalp giggled, but Bulma splashed him. “Down, Boy.”
“Oh, come on,” he grinned, “we sip drinks and talk about all your sex lives once every few weeks. Doesn't Raditz get any? All this kinky stuff is getting to me.”
“I know for a fact you've dated since you got back,” Chichi said.
“That was weeks ago,” he whined. “There's a reason Saiyans mate for life; we need regular sex. Well, all of us except Kakarot, apparently.”
“That's changed a little,” Chichi muttered.
“Whatever. I'm horny. Bulma, imagine Vegeta going five weeks without sex, now that he's had a taste.”
She winced. “He might destroy the Earth.”
“Exactly. My only solace is having inside information. Now tell me what Vegeta thought about Namek.”
Bulma laughed. “It was worth the wait. When he came home--” There was a commotion outside; a few loud thuds and a loud voice they couldn't quite make out. Bulma sighed. “I'd know that tantrum anywhere.”
“--to see my own wife!” Vegeta mumbled, pushing open the doors to their private room and striding inside. “Woman! Stop what you're doing!"
Bulma didn't even look up from her drink. “What am I ‘doing’?”
“Talking, I'm sure,” he said, crossing his arms. Goku came wandering in behind him eating shrimp, followed by an apologetic looking Gohan.
“Kakarot what are you eating? How are you eating?”
“They've got a whole buffet out there,” Goku said with his mouth full, pointing towards the reception hall.
“You don't eat during negotiations.”
“You can drink though, right?” Raditz asked, shaking his glass.
Bulma narrowed her eyes at him. “Raditz, why are they here?”
He shrugged. “I don't know. They didn't bring this up at the last meeting.”
“We had a meeting without you, Traitor.”
Raditz put a hand to his chest and pretended to be offended. “That hurts, Vegeta. I'm no traitor. I've been very clear since the beginning where my allegiances lie. They're just not with you. I didn't invite them, Ladies. I don't know how the hell they knew where to find us. It's not my fault.”
“You yelled ‘pancakes’ when you left this morning,” Goku reminded him. “We just followed your ki to the restaurant, and they told us you'd be here.”
“Oh. Yeah, that sounds like my fault.”
“I told you yesterday, Vegeta,” Bulma huffed. “No husbands allowed on brunch days. This is the time we need to complain about all of you. Go away.”
“Do you complain about me, Videl?” Gohan asked, frowning a little. “Did I do something?”
“No, Honey, I'm here for the food and a free spa day,” she smiled sweetly, if a bit unconvincingly.
“Where's Krillin?” Eighteen asked.
“Keep track of your own damn husband.”
She rolled her eyes. “I just mean I thought he was part of your little troop now. Why not bring him?”
“Krillin said, ‘deal with your own wives, mine's perfect’,” Goku reported.
“So that's what we're doing,” Vegeta agreed solemnly. “This oversharing of our personal business needs to stop.”
“What is this, a coup?” Bulma asked.
“No, that would imply you have any power in this situation at all, Woman.”
“And you think Gohan and Goku are going to be on your side of this instead of their wives?” She asked, smirking.
Gohan shifted uncomfortably, eyes on Videl. “You don't actually talk about… private stuff, right?” He blushed. “Around Mom?”
Videl laughed nervously. “Hey, Gohan, why don't you come get into the hot tub with us? They have spare suits, and I'm sure Bulma wouldn't mind another on the bill, would you Bulma?”
“Not at all,” Bulma smiled slyly, shaking a drink at Gohan. “Come on it, we'll get you a full treatment.”
“Don't fall for it, Boy,” Vegeta warned him. “They're sirens. Look what they've done to Raditz. They want to cut our numbers.”
“Um, Raditz is fine,” Raditz called. “Just hoping for another mimosa maybe?” he grinned at one of the women working through his hair and she nodded, taking the empty. “This place is heaven, Gohan.”
Gohan looked back and forth between his club and his wife, shrugging. “Sorry, Vegeta. Sorry, Dad.”
The ladies cheered and Raditz held up his new glass as Gohan quickly changed and got in the water with them.
Vegeta crossed his arms. “Kakarot, that's your son. Aren't you going to say anything?”
“Huh? Oh,” Goku blinked, looking up from his shrimp. He gave his son a thumbs up. “Uh, good job Gohan, keep your wife happy.”
“He just defected to the other side!”
“Oh. Well, it's not like a real battle, Vegeta.”
“The hell it's not! We are fighting for our right to privacy here! Do you want Chichi telling everyone what you like in bed? It's embarrassing!”
Goku shrugged. “I mean, I don't really get embarrassed very easy…”
“Oh, Goookuuu,” Chichi called, waving her fingers at him.
“Don't listen to her Kakarot, you're weak!”
“Did you know they will bring you food right to the hot tub here?”
Goku's eyes went wide. “Really?”
“Yep. And the buffet isn't the only option. There's a menu .”
Goku bit his lip and Vegeta growled in warning.
“Plus, if you give this up now and let me talk about whatever I want without protest, then tonight we'll pull the ropes back out and--”
“Bye, Vegeta,” Goku said quickly, running to Chichi.
“You spineless goddamn jellyfish!”
“Your revolt is looking a little weak, Vegeta,” Bulma laughed. “Not that you ever stood a chance. We know your weaknesses.”
“I don't have a weakness.”
“They'll massage your tail.”
He paused. “What?”
“It's true, Man,” Raditz grinned, popping his tail out of the water. “And after we finish soaking they blowdry it, too.”
He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “This conversation is not over. Some things should be kept private.”
“Why?” Bulma asked. “It's not like you have anything to be ashamed of in that department. Nine meetings out of ten we win the kinkiest sex award. We definitely do it the most often. Except for maybe Krillin and Eighteen, they're freaks. No offense.”
“None taken,” Eighteen smirked.
Vegeta paused again. “It's a competition?”
“Yeah, and you're winning. Just get in the tub,” she insisted.
Vegeta looked over the other three men soaking luxuriously and rolled his eyes. He stepped behind a screen, quickly changing. “Kakarot, save half of that menu for me! I know damn well you'll deplete the kitchen's stock and I'm hungry. Besides, I assume we are footing the bill for all of this anyway--”
“Oh, are we paying?” Bulma asked. “I didn't realize you were getting paid to punch things now.”
“Shut up,” he mumbled, easing into the water next to her.
“Fantastic battle boys, really,” Raditz said, holding out his glass. “All of you caved in ten minutes. Now can we focus on what's important?”
Gohan was sipping out of Videl's drink, but he pulled back and frowned. “What's that?”
Raditz sat forward seriously and pointed at his face. “Uncle Raditz needs a girlfriend!”