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Why?

Summary:

Dave and Klaus find themselves talking about the people they have left at home, and Klaus lets out a little more than he should have.
But Dave surprises him when instead of looking at him in disgust, he understands him.

Notes:

Hi there!
This is the very first fanfic that I have written ever. So any and all criticism is welcome.
Hope you enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters, nor do I own the Umbrella Academy. All that belongs to Gerard Way, and the lovely people producing this show on Netflix.

Work Text:

"Do you have anyone waiting for you back home?"

Klaus almost laughed at the question. It was posed innocently enough, simply genuine curiosity to pass the time. But the question alone to him was simply ridiculous. He glanced over to meet curious blue eyes staring back at him, waiting expectantly for his answer. He looked away, a short scoff escaping his lips.

“No one worth mentioning.” He answered gloomily. Or rather, no one alive worth mentioning. Ben… He hadn’t seen him since that damned suitcase dragged him back in time in the middle of this god damned war. Initially, he had been upset. Figuring that finally, at long last Ben had grown sick of him and decided to abandon him once and for all like the rest of his siblings.

It had taken a few days for him to pull his head out of his ass and realize that of course, Ben wouldn’t be here. Technically he hadn’t even been born yet. That was how it worked, right? That was what he was telling himself. He couldn’t bear the thought of the single constant in his life finally leaving. Even if Ben deserved better than to be following around a dysfunctional addict in the afterlife.

“Really, no one?” Dave echoed, his eyes shining with something he couldn’t quite place. Empathy? Hell. Who was he kidding? No one cared about Klaus. No one worried over him. What was it then? Pity? That was more like it.

He thought about the others question. Did he really have no one? He didn’t think he hated his siblings. Even if they hated him. Why else would he have gone through torture to ensure his old-souled brother stayed safe? … Only to crack as soon as his possession of drugs were threatened. Maybe he was a bad brother. No wonder no one had come searching for him. He had initially said it as a joke, to fuck with those crazy dickheads. But then no one came. Except for that detective. What was her name? He couldn’t recall if she had even introduced herself. All he could recall was the pure relief at seeing that someone had come for him. He had hoped that shot that had rang out had been hers. She didn’t deserve to die for trying to save a lowlife like him… a low life who scrambled away like a coward the moment he could.

“I dunno.” He finally answered truthfully. “My family was all kinds of fucked up. They probably won’t even notice I’m gone.” He said through a pitiful chuckle, shaking his head. No… they wouldn’t notice.

“I’m sure that’s not true.” Dave had said, sharing that same look from earlier. His voice sounding so warm, so concerned. Why did he care so much? He didn’t even know him.

“Dave- I’ve always been the family failure. Dad’s disappointment. They all think I’m a good for nothing junkie, and they’re right. They’re better off as far away from me as possible.” He muttered, resting his head in his palms at the very real reality that he was coming to.

“Junkie?” Dave questioned, his brow furrowed and a frown growing on his lips. Shit. He probably shouldn’t have said that much. He was going to scare away the only good thing about being here. “You mean you were-“ Before Dave could finish that sentence, Klaus was already cutting him off.

“Yeah. Am still probably… But war really does take your mind off things doesn’t it?” he said through a shaky laugh, shaking his head and closing his eyes. Now that Dave knew, he probably wanted nothing to do with him… Probably better to scare him off now before he got too attached.

“Why?” Dave asked, and Klaus frowned.

“What?” Klaus responded, not quite understanding what it was Dave was asking.

“Why do you do them- the drugs I mean.” The blonde responded.

This only confused Klaus more. Why? No one had asked him that before. He looked over at Dave before staring out into the night sky, letting out a soft laugh. “If I told you, you’d have me sent to a madhouse.” He said, pulling his knees up to his chest. He wanted to tell Dave. So bad. Finally, someone asked the question he had been begging his siblings to ask for years. But who would believe him? Even his siblings, who knew about his powers didn’t believe him half the time.

“I’d like to think I have a fairly open mind,” Dave responded. Laughing lightly in a way that made Klaus feel warm inside. “I promise. No judgment here.” He assured, smiling encouragingly at him.

Klaus sighed again, running his hand through his curly locks and tugging gently as if to try and ground him enough to tell this without sending like a complete wacko. “Do you believe in ghosts?” he asked, looking over at Dave. This was a good start. Test the waters.

Dave looked out at the stars as if thinking for a moment. Klaus could feel his heartbeat in anticipation for his answer. If he said no, then backtrack so fast and just bullshit out some answer. But no, Dave had begun to nod. “Yeah. I sometimes like to think my Grandma is still around.” He said.

Klaus nodded, resting his chin on his knees, tucking them closer to his chest as he began to feel a surge of anxiety at telling him this. “Well… Ever since I was little I could see ghosts. Hear them. They’d always be screaming at me. Begging me to do something. To help them. I … I was raised other kids like me. They couldn’t talk to the dead, but dad wanted to train us. Help us utilize our powers or some shit like that. Dad used to lock me in a mausoleum for days, told me to get over this irrational fear of mine. The dead only got worse from there. After that, I couldn’t sleep without hearing their screams. They were with me all the time. Then when I was little, I found out that there were ways to make them quiet…” he paused. Not daring to look at Dave. He couldn’t bear the thought of him staring at him with disturbed eyes just like his siblings had. Another laugh escaped his throat, this one more pitiful than the last. “I sound crazy, don’t I?” he asked.

There was another pause, and Klaus was just about to stand up and apologize to the other for wasting his time when he heard that same sweet voice break into the silence. “If I was hearing voices no one else could for most of my life, I would have probably done the same thing.” He said, and Klaus let out a breath he realized he had been holding.

He looked over, his mouth agape in disbelief that someone had believed him. Understood and validated his fears. Even if Dave was just humouring him, this was more than he had ever gotten from anyone else in his life. He could feel his cheeks heat up, and his eyes begin to water as tears threatened to spill. He didn’t realize how much he had needed this validation until now.

“So. Why did you come here then?” he heard Dave ask.

Explaining his weird childhood trauma was one thing. But explaining how he was actually from the future, and that a magical suitcase had zapped him back in time was a whole other thing. Even he was still struggling to believe that. But, he found himself telling a story that felt right.

“I thought that after all my years of taking whatever I could get my hands on, and downing it with all the alcohol I could drink didn’t kill me, this finally would.” He said. It wasn’t the series of events that led him here, but they felt just as true.
“I hope you don’t mean that.” Dave said, sounding actually angry. Or hurt at his words? Fuck… He should’ve just left it at the ghost shit. He pushed his luck too far.

“Sorry. I-“ Klaus began to quickly try to apologize, only for him to be interrupted this time by a calloused but gentle hand on the back of his neck, and the voice, softer than before breaking his rambling.
“Klaus. I haven’t known you long. But you’re a good man. I can tell. I don’t want you throwing your life away.” He said.

Klaus let out a short, and shaky laugh. “You know… my brother used to say something really similar.” He muttered, thinking again of Ben. He wished he could apologize to the other before the reality of war really did kill him.

“He sounds like a wise man.” Dave said, not moving his hand. Instead he brought his other hand up to gently force Klaus’s gaze up to meet his own, and Klaus looked up into those piercing blue eyes, holding his breath. “Klaus. I don’t want to see you die. Promise me you aren’t going to be searching for death like you say you are. I don’t want to see you die.” He said softly.

“Why?” Klaus had asked, his voice cracking from the emotions that began to tug at his every being. He wasn’t used to someone caring like this, and now that he had it he wasn’t sure how to react.

“Because I like you.” Dave whispered, his voice carrying heavily into the darkness, and Klaus could feel a real genuine smile pull at his lip.

He could try… If not for himself. Then for Dave.