Chapter Text
What to do next, then? Teruki buried his hands into his pockets and watched the sky. He hadn’t made any further plans for the day, thinking that the whole thing with Kageyama was going to take a little longer. Now he had all the time in the world and he didn’t know what to do.
Teruki was loitering around, in no hurry to be anywhere. To be honest, not that far back in his mind he thought that maybe if he walked around slow enough, the Kageyamas would be done with their little spat faster and the older Kageyama would have time to run up to him and thank Teruki for helping to find his little brother.
Teruki would naturally be very happy to tell him that it was no big deal and if he ever, and he meant ever, needed help, Teruki would be there for him. As a good friend and a confidant.
His original plan had been that he and Kageyama would get to walk around town a little longer. They could have talked about things, nothing specific. Just… things. Go to eat together and Teruki could have paid for him. Afterwards, maybe the streets would have gotten a little crowded. They would have gotten separated and Teruki would have almost lost Kageyama, but then he would have reached for Teruki and held his hand and then…
But you took what you got and Teruki had gotten quite a lot today. He shouldn’t be greedy. He should be grateful that things were going as well as they were.
He’d gotten maybe five blocks away from where he’d left Kageyama with his brother, not that he was counting, meandering slowly and kicking his feet while staring through the boutique windows, when something green and formless zoomed into his line of sight.
A spirit.
Teruki’s eyes grew larger when he recognized it.
A familiar spirit!
Pathetically, his first thought that came to his mind when he saw the gas-like green spirit that had used to follow Kageyama around was: Oh thank God, I didn’t kill it after all. And the one after that, the one that kicked him even lower was: I can’t wait to tell Kageyama!
“Hanazawa, was it?” the spirit asked. “Quick! I need your help.”
Teruki opened his mouth to respond, but couldn’t get a word out before the spirit had spoken again.
“Shigeo’s in trouble!”
And he was off running to the direction he’d just come from.
He tried not to feel excited, he really did. It wasn’t a good thing that Kageyama was in trouble. Whether it was because of his brother, the gangs or something else, hearing that something was enough to give him so much trouble he needed help should have been a big red flag. In that moment, though, he didn’t care.
This was it, he though. He could show Kageyama, show him once and for all, that he was such a great guy. This whole day had been one home run from start to finish. Teruki was going to appear like a knight in shining armor, help him out against whatever it was that had caused him trouble, tell them that if they wanted to get to him, they’d have to go through Teruki first.
He paid no mind to the fact that anything that could cause trouble for someone as powerful as Kageyama would no doubt be a hard nut to crack for him as well. It was irrelevant. After all, he had far more important things to think of. Like what he was going to say. How he would announce his presence and appear in front of Kageyama, ready to recue him.
“I heard you needed help,” he said to himself.
“What?” the spirit asked.
“Nothing!”
Simple. He was going to keep it simple. Leave him wanting more. Maybe have a mysterious presence, appearing whenever Kageyama needed him most, but keeping his distance otherwise. Then Kageyama would grow curious. “Why, Hanazawa, you have changed so much,” he would say. “I hardly recognized you as the same person. But now I can’t help but feel drawn to you and your good looks.” Because Kageyama thought he was good looking. “Of course I can forgive you, you don’t even need to ask!”
Wow. This was going to be it, wasn’t it? Gone were the thoughts of avoiding Kageyama for the rest of his life, admiring him from a distance. In their place were plans, so many plans.
“This way!” the spirit shouted. He wouldn’t have needed to. Teruki had been counting his steps away from Kageyama, he knew exactly where they were going.
What he had expected was a fight between brothers. Kageyama wasn’t the type of a person to lift a finger against his little brother, while Ritsu seemed much more willing to pick a fight. What Teruki had expected he needed to do was to jump between them and keep them apart, maybe whipping some thugs out of the way while he was at it.
What he did not expect to arrive to was the aftermath of a disaster.
Pavement, walls, everything in pieces, and in the middle of a sea of cheering middle school gang members stood Kageyama.
Unconscious.
His first feeling was terror. Kageyama in this state could be dangerous.
His next, far pettier thought was that he wanted the thugs away from Kageyama so that he could be the one putting his hand on his shoulders.
He warned them, told them to stay back. After all, Kageyama was much more dangerous like this. They recognized him, knew him by reputation and made way for him.
There was no sign of the little brother.
“What happened here?” he asked, walking slowly to Kageyama with his hands held up in a sign of peace. Kageyama didn’t react to his approach, didn’t start pulling away from Teruki like he usually did.
The danger was gone. The objective completed. The lights were out behind his eyes, but he was still standing.
“Some grownup jumped down from the roof,” one of the thugs said, Teruki didn’t bother to turn to see which. “But White T Poison kicked his ass!”
“Where’s Ritsu?” the spirit asked, looking around.
“Where did Kageyama’s brother go?”
They muttered to each other and Teruki turned to glare at them.
“He… the scarface took him.”
Teruki had a sinking feeling he knew exactly what had happened. A scar-faced adult fighting kids, kidnapping psychics?
That screamed Claw to him.
Which meant Ritsu was as good as gone.
No wonder Kageyama had lost it.
“Hey,” he said softly and waved his hand in front of his face. “Kageyama? You awake? Do you recognize me?”
He stood completely still, staring ahead unblinking. Teruki could not feel any of the malice he had felt back on the day-that-was-not-to-be-mentioned. His hand trembled when he placed it on his shoulder, ready to pull a useless barrier between them if Kageyama decided he was a threat.
There was nothing. No reaction, no recognition, nothing going on behind his eyes. Teruki craned his neck a little, tried to get into his line of sight, but it made no difference. Kageyama was reacting to nothing around him.
“I’m taking him home,” he declared.
“Good idea,” the spirit said, circling around them.
Teruki looked at the others. “You should leave as well. I doubt that guy’s planning on coming back for you, but just in case.”
They weren’t moving. They just stood there like idiots, staring at Kageyama with looks of wonder. Teruki hated to admit it, but he could recognize the awe in some of those eyes and it wasn’t just admiration for Kageyama’s power.
He didn’t need the competition, not when he’d already managed to get off to such a bad start. He needed to get Kageyama out of here, away from prying eyes and somewhere where he could take care of his cuts and bruises.
Kageyama did not look like he was going to be able to walk on his own, though.
Teruki was going to have to carry him.
God have mercy on him, he had not thought of that. His hands twitched at his sides, reaching, then falling back down. He could maybe use his powers for it. In theory. Yes, that was a very good idea, surely. But then again, wasn’t it Kageyama who had insisted that using powers like theirs on other people was a no good, very bad, not allowed thing to do? So clearly Teruki had not other choice here than to carry his dearest friend Kageyama home himself.
Kageyama wasn’t going to like… attack him or anything, if he tried to lift him, right? Teruki shifted weight from one foot to another. Surely not. But then again, last time in his unconscious state he’d been very volatile and unwilling to listen to reason, so there was no telling what was off limits.
How should Teruki even do this? Just lift him up? Carry him like a bride? Tempting, tempting, but maybe not very practical. A piggyback ride would be the easiest and least exciting option, and in this situation going the easy and predictable route was probably for the best.
The thugs were still there, standing around, watching him closely. They wouldn’t listen to him unless he talked to them in their language, huh? Teruki worried his tongue over his teeth. Fine.
“One of you big lumps help me get him on back,” he barked. “Excitement’s over.”
“Where will you be taking him?” Bandai, the leader of Soy Sauce Mid’s gang asked.
Someone always had to question his authority, huh? Teruki tilted his head and looked at Bandai down his nose.
“Home,” he repeated, like Bandai was an idiot. “Does he look like he’s in any condition to be left standing around here for?”
“My home’s close by!” Fuji from Miso Mid said. “You can bring him there!”
Teruki turned to him, sauntered closer and tilted his head. The guy was taller than him, had more mass than him, but he knew Teruki by reputation and Teruki had the upper hand here. He wouldn’t even need to use his powers here.
“I told you,” he said, voice as smooth as silk, “that I’d be taking him with me. He and I actually know each other. Do you think he’d want to go with the lot of you? After you tried to assault his darling little brother?”
It was so enticingly easy to slip back into his old persona. Everything worked so much smoother this way. The other leaders and their thugs made way for him, fearing him and his reputation and it would have been so easy to just give in to the temptation.
But it was just a means to an end. He wasn’t enjoying it, but –
Well. That was a lie. Teruki did like it. He just also didn’t like the fact that he liked it.
It was just for now. A momentarily use of his authority. It wasn’t like he was going back to old habits.
Fuji helped Teruki lift Kageyama onto his back. Teruki worried Kageyama was going to go back to his battle mode, but his reaction to being hoisted off his feet was the opposite. The moment they had him in place, Kageyama went limp, head lulling against Teruki’s shoulder. He was like a puppet whose strings had been cut. Teruki successfully masked how wobbly his knees got in that moment. He couldn’t afford to show any signs of weakness to these people, they would descend on him like vultures if they thought they could fight him.
Teruki wasn’t about to let them have Kageyama. Not in this state. Kageyama could do his friendships later, convert these idiots into his life of kindness once he could stand on his own feet again, but for now, Kageyama was his to care for.
He felt so frail on his back. Not exactly light, but not a burden either. Teruki jostled him a little to lift him higher, and Kageyama didn’t stir. He just rested heavy on Teruki’s back, breathing calm.
If Kageyama was a burden, he was burden Teruki would have carried every day for the rest of his life without a word of complaint.
“Do you live far?” the spirit asked.
Teruki shifted Kageyama again and started walking.
“Not far,” he said.
Well, it wouldn’t have been far if he was walking by himself. Carrying a person made it a little difficult. Teruki wanted to hurry, to get Kageyama away from the streets. He might not have cared about people whispering behind their hands about Kageyama’s disheveled state, but Teruki didn’t want their attention to turn from worry to actions.
There was no hurrying this, though.
When he finally reached his apartment building, his legs were burning like he’d been doing heavy exercise. It wasn’t that Kageyama was heavy… No. He was heavy. Teruki had to admit it now. Teruki might have maybe gotten a little too used to boosting heavier objects with his powers to make carrying them easier in the past, but he’d rather die than be caught doing that with Kageyama. Yes, he was a burden Teruki appreciated, but maybe he could appreciate him while both of them had their feet on the ground in the future.
God. There were stairs. He’d forgotten about the stairs.
He had the distinct feeling the spirit was laughing at him, but he didn’t particularly want to turn and see it. It was all worth it to get to carry Kageyama on his back.
Teruki might have cheated a little. Just a little. On the last few steps and to open his door without taking his hands off Kageyama. He hurried in and did his best not to drop Kageyama like a rock onto his bed.
How did those big, buff jock-friends of his carry him on their shoulders so easily? Was Teruki going to have to start training more seriously again?
Well. As sad as it was to admit, it wasn’t very likely he was going to get to carry Kageyama again any time soon.
Legs trembling from the strain, Teruki stumbled to remove his shoes and leave them at his door. Then he dragged himself into his kitchen corner and poured himself some water. He drank deep, closed his eyes and tried to think.
Now what?
He glanced at Kageyama. He hadn’t moved an inch since Teruki had set him down on his bed, deep in sleep.
Teruki set his glass down and approached carefully. There was no outward reaction out of Kageyama to his presence, so Teruki just tiptoed right next to the bed.
He stared down and suddenly his throat was very dry.
Wow. There, on his bed. Kageyama Shigeo.
He’d had… thoughts about this before. Dreams. Scant fantasies he’d tried to snuff out before they could get too rampant.
They hadn’t been quite like this, though. No, in his thoughts Kageyama hadn’t been unconscious, with his clothes in tatters, skin cut and bruised. In his thoughts, Kageyama had always been quite happy to be there with him.
Teruki didn’t know what to do with his hands. He looked away.
Okay. Okay. Bandages and disinfectant. That much he could do. Maybe try to rouse Kageyama enough to let him know what was going on and where he was, help fix him up a bit. Teruki rubbed his hands together nervously. Yeah. He could do that. That was good.
He hurried to pick up his first-aid kit from the bathroom. He sat down on the bed, next to Kageyama and fumbled with the disinfectant bottle and bandages, dropping several on them on the bed in his hurry to get them out.
“Kageyama?” he said softly, reaching for his shoulder. “Kageyama, hey. Wake up.”
Kageyama groaned quietly, but didn’t wake up. Teruki’s heart was beating in his throat.
Okay. That was fine. It was okay. He could do this while Kageyama was resting. No problem! Better this way, right? So that Kageyama wouldn’t notice the sting of the disinfectant.
But what if he would? What if that was what woke him up and he’d see Teruki and immediately connect the thought of pain with him?
Teruki twisted his hands around, then steeled himself.
It didn’t matter. Kageyama needed his help and his help he was going to get.
Teruki cleaned the worst of the cuts that he could see, the ones on his arms, face and where the knees of his pants had given out. And Kageyama slept like a log through all of it, didn’t stir one bit when Teruki delicately lifted his arm and cleaned off the grime and blood, not when he covered the scrape on his cheek with a bandage and maybe let his hand linger just a moment too long. He seemed aware of none of it. Teruki started to worry that something was wrong. But then again, using powers left him tired afterwards and Kageyama had so much more power stored in him, so it followed that he’d be that much more tired afterwards.
Let him rest. He’d earned it and Teruki was in no hurry to see him wake up and leave. Just for this moment, this selfish, short moment, he was going to have him here and pretend like everything was okay. He looked so soft in his sleep.
Let him rest. Teruki stood up and shrugged off his uniform jacket. He changed into more comfortable clothes, a nice sweater and jeans for home use. He turned to look at the condition of Kageyama’s clothes.
They were about the same size. Close enough anyway. Teruki licked his lips and looked into his closet.
Lending clothes meant nothing. It didn’t matter that Teruki would never have borrowed his clothes to any of his old friends. It was just that he was the new Teruki. That was the only reason. Surely he would have lent clothes now to any of his good friends given the chance.
It had nothing to do with the smallest of thrills the thought of seeing Kageyama wearing one of his shirts sent through his spine.
Go easy, Teruki thought and picked one of the most boring shirts from his closet. Start with something small. Blue would look good on him.
He folded a shirt and a pair of pants at the end of the bed.
Kageyama was still fast asleep. Teruki moved his hands back and forth, filled with nervous energy.
He couldn’t exactly just go about his day normally with Kageyama here. He couldn’t just sit down and watch TV now.
He grabbed a chair and pulled it to the bedside, sat down and started to mess with his phone.
His eyes wondered to Kageyama next to him.
Don’t think about it, he told himself. Teruki was just helping a friend in need, nothing more. This meant nothing.
But he did look so peaceful in his sleep. It was so much easier to rest his eyes on Kageyama than to keep going through the same apps on his phone.
It wouldn’t hurt. It was just the two of them. It wouldn’t hurt anybody.
He reached his hand slowly, expecting Kageyama’s eyes to snap open the moment he got too close. No such luck. With hesitant movements he wiped some hair out of Kageyama’s brow, ran his fingers over his forehead. Just for a short moment. It wasn’t hurting anyone.
“What’re you doing?” the spirit asked.
Teruki pulled his hand away as if burned. The spirit had pulled to the furthest corner of his home to watch them with narrowed eyes and for a moment Teruki had honestly forgotten it was there at all.
As if it wasn’t suspicious enough to have Teruki touching Kageyama’s face without a reason, his reaction to realizing he was being watched was a dead give-away that he didn’t have the best of intentions in mind.
“Nothing,” Teruki said, a bit too late.
It didn’t seem to satisfy the spirit and he kept his sullen expression.
The spirit was keeping his distance, much like Kageyama had, and for a reason, Teruki supposed. Unlike Kageyama, who had been slowly warming up to him in the smallest of ways, the spirit showed no signs of wanting to get closer.
“I’m,” Teruki started, then said nothing for a beat. He gathered himself up and offered the spirit and apologetic smile. “I’m glad to see I didn’t manage to exorcise you fully.”
The spirit kept its dour look, but huffed. “Kid, stronger men than you have tried.” He shifted a little, flickering where he floated. “How’s he doing?”
“You can come closer,” Teruki said and looked away. “I’m not going to exorcise you.”
The distrust was evident, but the spirit did slide a little closer.
Kageyama was completely swaddled in covers and blankets, only his pale face peeking from under them. Teruki thrummed his fingers against his chair.
“He’s,” he started and swallowed. “He’s going to be fine.”
“Hmm.” The spirit circled over Kageyama’s head, watching closely.
“He’s strong,” Teruki said. “He’ll wake up.”
“Yeah,” the spirit said slowly. There was apprehension in his voice. Teruki looked up to him to see the spirit turn away.
“What happened back there?” Teruki asked. He didn’t remember seeing the spirit there when he’d left. It was a lucky break he’d been able to find Teruki so easily.
Lucky. Or calculated. Teruki wasn’t sure yet.
The spirit didn’t say anything. When Teruki tried to meet his eyes, he stared stubbornly down at Kageyama.
If that wasn’t suspicious, Teruki didn’t know what was.
“What?” he asked slowly.
“I didn’t see most of it,” the spirit admitted at length. “I went to get you when things started to look bad.”
Teruki wished he hadn’t left at all. Screw being polite, he’d ended up getting Kageyama hurt again. If he had stayed, he could have fought side by side with him, maybe even save Ritsu.
“Did they really get his little brother?” he asked.
Again, the spirit was quiet.
“Well?” Teruki snapped.
“Yes.”
That was it, then. Kageyama Ritsu was gone for good. Teruki rubbed his brow. He hadn’t liked the guy, sure, but no one deserved a fate like that. He wasn’t sure what exactly Claw did to the people they kidnapped. Brainwashing could mean a lot of different things, none of them anything good.
He leaned away from the bedside and Kageyama.
He didn’t want to be the one to break the news to him.
Teruki rested his elbows on his knees. He didn’t think he had much of a choice in this matter.
The bed sheets rustled softly and Kageyama shifted. He groaned quietly and Teruki turned to him.
Kageyama stared bleary-eyed at his ceiling and blinked a few times. He turned to look at Teruki and for a moment it didn’t look like was registering him fully.
“Hanazawa?” he croaked.
Teruki felt his face melting into a genuine smile before he could even think about which mask to put on.
“Hey,” he said. “Good to see you awake. How are… how are you feeling?”
Kageyama blinked a few times more and moved to sit up. He winced and Teruki’s hands rose from his side on their own.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he said, forcing his hands to stay away from his shoulders. “Take your time, there’s no rush.”
Kageyama didn’t listen to him, pushing into a sitting position and looking around.
“Where –?” he started.
“Your friend here came to get me,” Teruki explained quickly, pointing a thumb at the spirit. “I found you passed out in the alleyway where I left you. Do you remember?”
Kageyama looked down at his hands.
“What happened to Ritsu?”
*
A lot of things happened very fast after that. Kageyama decided that he wanted to throw himself head first into danger and what else was Teruki supposed to do but offer his humble services to his aid? They went to a place called Awakening Lab to find out who leaked the knowledge about Kageyama Ritsu’s psychic powers to Claw and waterboarded a guy. A pretty eventful evening, if Teruki said so himself. And he got to spend it with Kageyama, which made it even better.
Seeing Kageyama like this, being close to him when he got into this mood of his was… Well, Teruki wasn’t sure what he was feeling about it. It wasn’t exactly how he’d though Kageyama would be like, but at the same time it was exactly how he thought Kageyama would be like. The fact that he was now too busy to think about what had happened between them before now that they had a bigger fish to fry was a bonus too. Kageyama was far too busy thinking about getting his brother back to question Teruki’s motives to want to help.
The spirit, Dimple apparently, was a little more suspicious. They couldn’t turn down his help, though, not when they were going against someone like Claw and despite Teruki’s hesitation to go against a group as dangerous as them, he was more than willing to go along with Kageyama to help. It was a trial by fire, he thought, the true test of his new and improved outlook of life. He was being the best version of himself by helping his good friend to get his brother back.
Getting into the Seventh Division hideout wasn’t much of a challenge. The guy they’d sent after them was a joke and gave out everything in just a few quick dips into the bucket. Teruki was glad Kageyama was far too occupied with his own troubles to consider the implications of using torture to get what they needed.
They did meet the man who had apparently kidnapped Ritsu once inside the hideout, though. The ease with which Kageyama took him out was almost embarrassing.
Teruki had no time to feel ashamed for him. Not with how loud his heart was beating at the sight of Kageyama’s show of power. It had looked like child’s play to him. Not even that. It hadn’t even broken a sweat.
So graceful it was.
He could do that too!
When they inevitably had to part ways to look for Ritsu, though, Teruki felt his insides squeezing.
This was the Claw, after all. They were feared for a reason and despite his boasting and telling Kageyama he could definitely help him with this, he was maybe a little, only a small amount, only just a teensy tiny bit worried.
They were strong. Dangerous. Grownups too, allegedly.
This trip might not be as easy as getting in, getting little brother and getting out.
“Alright, then,” Dimple said. “See you guys in a bit.” And with a wave of his new meat suit he started walking off.
Kageyama was heading off to another direction as well.
Teruki bit into his lip. This might be the only good chance he was going to get to apologize to him properly. After this, who knew what was going to happen?
The decision was made hastily, leaving Teruki with nothing to stand on.
“Kageyama,” he said, his heart hammering in his throat.
He might not get another chance.
Kageyama turned to him, a question in his eyes. Teruki should say he was sorry now. Get it off his chest. It should have been easy. Just two words. Easy as that.
It just didn’t feel like the right time. It didn’t feel like the right place either, here in the middle of an enemy infested base, where they were about to start poking a hornet nest with a stick too short. Two words would never be enough to contain what he felt, what he’d done and what he wanted to apologize for, but two words was about as much time as he had right now.
Kageyama didn’t deserve Teruki half-assing his apology here behind God’s back. But now he’d gotten his attention and Kageyama was waiting for something. Dimple was already rounding a corner, disappearing out of their view and Teruki was standing so close to Kageyama, Kageyama who was wearing his shirt.
In this moment, surrounded by enemy forces, they were alone. Just the two of them. Teruki swallowed with struggle.
The idea was terrible. It blindsided him by appearing out of nowhere, uninvited and loud in his head. It was a terrible idea, really, Teruki thought, looking deep into Kageyama’s eyes.
He hadn’t even brought his lip balm.
“Hanazawa – “ Kageyama started. Teruki grabbed and held onto his face with two hands before he could finish the thought.
It was a terrible idea, so he didn’t think about it. He wasn’t going to get another chance like this. Probably ever. So he was going for it.
The kiss was brief, closemouthed and everything Teruki could have ever hoped for. He was in heaven. Kageyama’s lips were soft, his face was soft, everything about him was so soft Teruki would have just liked to curl up into his lap and never leave.
But this wasn’t the time for that. There would probably never be a time for that. He pulled away.
Kageyama was looking at him like he didn’t understand. Teruki pulled himself together and gave him a cocky smirk, sharp and flirty and all on reflex, a familiar mask that felt so very comfortable right now.
“Just in case I won’t make it,” he said.
Kageyama blinked slowly. He lifted a hand to his lips, looked down, then up again.
Teruki wasn’t going to say he was sorry. He was saving that for later, in case both of them made it out safely. So instead he winked and started running off the corridor to the left.
God. That had. That had been.
God. He covered his face with his hands, feeling like it was on fire.
He shouldn’t have done that.
He really shouldn’t.
But it had felt so good! Teruki’s insides were as light as a feather. He felt like he could have started floating with just the smallest of pushes from his power and never get down again.
It wasn’t like he was going to get another chance. He wasn’t going to fool himself on that one. Yeah, he could have his fantasies and little daydreams, but none of those were ever going to be a reality and that was just a fact he was going to have to learn to live with.
But this, he could have. It was all he needed to win this. He could be the hero to Kageyama, save his brother and then…
And then continue living out of his way.
It stung, but that was the reality of life. No amount of his powers was going to change the feelings Kageyama had for him, but at the same time, they couldn’t erase Teruki’s feelings for Kageyama either. It was just something Teruki was going to have to learn to live with. He would help save Kageyama’s brother and then he would apologize.
It was going to have to be enough.
*
In the end, Teruki didn’t even get to pull half the cool moves he’d thought up on the fly to impress Kageyama. In the end, it was Kageyama’s master, the legendary Master Reigen, who defeated the evil with the only way fitting for someone calling himself Kageyama’s teacher.
And then, just like that, it was over and they were in car on their way back to the city.
The car ride was quiet. Mitsuura from the Awakening Lab had sent them drivers to get them home, Teruki with the Kageyamas and Reigen, the rest of the kids in the other car.
He kind of wished he’d had a better chance to talk with the other espers his age. He was going to have to look them up later. It’d be interesting to talk with other espers that weren’t the Kageyamas, ones who he either didn’t have an embarrassingly massive crush on or who didn’t outright hate his guts.
Even though, he felt like his standing with Ritsu had gotten a little better. They’d had a long time to sit alone in the cell while Kageyama had been unconscious. Teruki still wouldn’t call them friends, but… it was better than it had been before, that was for sure.
Reigen sat at the front with the driver, giving directions, while Teruki sat with Kageyama and Ritsu in the back. Both of the Kageyamas looked like they were dozing off, Ritsu’s head lolling against the car window while Kageyama between them was staring into middle distance nothingness, his mouth forgotten slightly open. Teruki couldn’t blame them, he was tired as well. It had been a long day, full of ups and downs.
Kageyama turned to look at him and suddenly Teruki couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss. He turned to stare through the window instead, pretending like he couldn’t feel his cheeks burning.
They were going to have to talk about that, huh? Teruki had kind of wished they… wouldn’t. That it would remain as some wacky accident during the heat of the moment. What happened at the Claw base stayed at the Claw place, right?
He could feel Kageyama’s stare boring into his skin and bones. He stared resolutely into the passing scenery.
What a day, huh? Teruki breathed out a long sigh and hit his forehead against the cool glass of the window. He’d ended up burning his shirt, scuffing his jeans and losing most of his wig! Such a tragedy, that one. The crazy guy with the sword had even had the gall to tell him he looked better this way.
What did he even know? The guy looked like wore the same suit every day. As if that gave him any right to comment on the looks of a superior dresser. No sense of style whatsoever.
Well. His own hair was getting long enough that maybe he should consider switching back to a life without a wig. Maybe. He’d have to think about it once he wasn’t about to fall asleep on the back of a car.
He could feel Kageyama’s leg pressing against his, pushing gently like a question to him. He was so very close. It would have been easy to just… rest his hand on his own thigh and then just accidentally slide it closer to the area between them.
But they hadn’t talked about the kiss. There hadn’t been any time, they hadn’t had a moment to themselves to breathe. He couldn’t bring himself to try to reach for him, not after something like that. It would be better to just leave it and…
Teruki turned his head, just enough so he could look at Kageyama from the corner of his eye, because he was a glutton for punishment.
Kageyama was looking right back at him. He looked tired, he was bruised and disheveled, but the look in his eyes was clear enough.
He was looking right at Teruki and Teruki felt his breath catch in his throat. What was he thinking about? The kiss? Teruki certainly was. What had he thought of it? Teruki hadn’t waited long enough to find out. Did he hate it? He didn’t look like he’d hated it.
Reading his expressions was impossible. Teruki was going to go crazy!
“You guys want to get food before heading home?” Reigen asked.
And then Kageyama’s attention was on his master.
Teruki felt like breathing either a sigh of relief or disappointment. He wasn’t sure which, so he just turned back to look at the scenery. They’d just passed the city limit and streetlights were lighting the road around them. After the dim darkness of the woods it was like stepping into another world completely.
“I’m a little hungry,” Kageyama said quietly.
Teruki thought about it. The idea of going home right now, going back to his lonely apartment, it didn’t sit well with him.
And he was a little hungry too.
“Yeah,” he said, realized how hoarse his voice sounded and cleared his throat. “Yeah, I could go for food.”
Ritsu was too far gone to answer, his face mushed against the window.
“Ramen it is, then,” Reigen said and turned to the driver with an address.
They ended up getting dropped off near a small shopping district. Reigen guided them into a small corner shop, warm and well lit and just like that the whole Seventh Division thing was over and Teruki felt like it had gone by way too fast.
It was over and he hadn’t even had the chance to show Kageyama most of his moves.
Sitting down with Reigen and the Kageyamas felt a little surreal after everything that had happened lately. They were the only customers in the ramen shop at this hour, the only other person there besides them the cook behind the counter and soon they had four steaming bowls of ramen in front of them.
It felt like they’d somehow ended up on a completely different plane of existence, where they hadn’t just faced one the most dangerous collection of espers in the world. Here they sat, all four of them plus Dimple, looking scruffy and tired and the guy behind the counter hadn’t said anything about it. Ritsu was staring off into the distance looking like he hadn’t really woken up after getting out of the car and had just sleepwalked in with them.
Everything felt just… a little bit too normal. Too calm. He was sitting across from Kageyama and everything was fine.
He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be feeling, but whatever it was, he was feeling it strongly.
He became aware of Kageyama’s stare a little ways into the dinner. He just looked up and it was there. He wouldn’t have even noticed had he not looked up. Kageyama was looking at him expressionlessly like he’d done in the car and suddenly Teruki was feeling a little less tired and a little more alert.
Teruki swallowed carefully, ran his tongue over his teeth, then dared to offer him a small smile. Just a small one, not too presumptuous, not too forward, just… a small smile.
Kageyama looked him over for a moment without any outwards reaction to it. Next to him, Ritsu looked like his head was about to drop into the ramen bowl in front of him.
“Thank you for coming with us, Hanazawa,” he said at length.
It was the simplest thing. But Teruki couldn’t look him in the eye. Instead, with his hand reaching for his neck, he looked down.
“Of course!” he said. “It was the least I could do.”
The chair next to his creaked and Reigen got up.
“It’s been a long day,” he said when they turned to look at him. “I think I’ve deserved a smoke. I’ll be right back.”
Kageyama watched him leave. Ritsu looked like he was no longer in this world.
This was it. This was his chance.
“Um,” he started.
“You kissed me,” Kageyama said.
Aaaaand there went that. Teruki’s face felt like it was in flames.
“Yeah, I did,” he said, laughing a little mechanically. “It was a bit… spur of the moment. I wasn’t thinking.”
Kageyama hummed in thought and Teruki couldn’t really read the emotion behind it.
Okay. This was it. This was his moment. He swallowed thickly and drew his lungs full of air.
“You know,” he said with some struggle. “I’ve… I never really. Apologized. For what I did.”
Kageyama didn’t say anything. His lackluster reaction was almost too much for Teruki to keep going, but he’d gotten this far. He might as well get it all out in one go.
“I don’t… I didn’t know what to say at the time. When you apologized to me, that is. I guess it was still too fresh on my mind. I’d been… There hadn’t been any other psychics my age before, you were my first and I panicked and I wasn’t thinking. I was – “ He closed his mouth and shook his head. His fingers curled around his utensils, squeezing tight. Kageyama didn’t need his explanations. They wouldn’t make the situation any better. When he lifted his head, Teruki met Kageyama’s eyes head on. “What I wanted to say was that I’m sorry. I really am. About what I did. Not just the fight and the… the choking thing… Those too, naturally, but the other things also. I was…” He started laughing a little, had to turn away. “I was so desperate for your attention that I didn’t stop thinking for even once.”
Kageyama’s stare was heavy on him. There was nothing there, no frown, no tilted head, no twist of his mouth and Teruki for the life of him could not read his expression.
He swallowed again and shook his head.
“I get it if you still want nothing to do with me. I do. I just… I want you to know, that I know what I did was wrong and I’ve – I’m trying to change.”
“I can tell.”
Teruki’s heart leapt to his throat. “Yeah?” he managed to croak out.
Kageyama nodded.
“Captain Musashi told me you apologized to him. And Onigawara.” Teruki could see him rolling his chopstick between his fingers. Was he nervous too? The good type of nervous? Or the bad. “And Inukawa. Inukawa told me you came over. Hm.” He moved his mouth around, going side to side. “That was very nice of you.”
Nice. Teruki’s smile was a little wobbly and he didn’t have the strength to make it into anything more than that.
“It was just… something that felt right,” he said. “After everything. I felt like… I needed to build up to apologizing to you, you know?”
Kageyama blinked slowly. “Not really,” he said.
“Yeah,” Teruki said a chuckled. “Maybe you’re right.”
“You are an interesting person.”
“Said the pot to the kettle!” Teruki laughed.
Kageyama tilted his head a little.
“Nothing, nothing,” Teruki said and waved his hand. He felt like he was going to bounce right out of his skin if he didn’t start moving. He started tapping his foot against the leg of the chair he was sitting on. “I just think that out of the two of us, you’re the far more interesting person. I’d… very much like to get to know you better.”
Kageyama’s smile was small and kind. Far kinder than Teruki deserved.
“I would like to be your friend as well,” he said.
Ah.
Well.
Friends.
They could start with that.
Teruki needed time to buy more vanilla lip balm anyway.