Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

D.C. and Nadia got them out of there in record time with equally record griping about not sticking to the schedule and Chris couldn’t take his eyes off of Leon in the back of the carrier. Nadia was chattering up a storm that had Chris sitting tense in his seat, telling them all about what they’d seen from above as Leon and Chris had fought their way through the inside. Leon was sitting at the opposite side of the carrier from Chris and he hated it, but it made sense. It wasn’t like Leon was in the place to want to be crowded. It wasn’t like either of them weren’t still riddled with adrenaline, blood and guts and other substances hanging from their bodies after narrowly escaping that fucking mansion. Chris had gone through the whole thing three times and he was happy to know that it was a pile of rubble at this point. But Chris wasn’t even close to being capable of relaxing and he couldn’t stop looking to Leon.

There had been this moment, atop the roof, when they’d made it through the shitfest that was a mansion full of once mind-controlled zombies and monsters suddenly without a master and descending into chaos. Two G-virus infected had actually made it out of the mansion itself and into the grounds, blown to pieces by Silver Dagger above. Everything had fallen to hell and Chris was loathe to realize that they really had barely gotten out of their alive. And there had been this moment, atop the roof.

They’d all but been thrown onto the roof and Chris was pretty sure he had a bruised rib from landing wrong. Leon had rolled with it and come back up guns blazing, as fucking always, and the sound of D.C. and Nadia suddenly being within range of comms and the thrum of the propellers overhead had been a godsend in its own way. Chris had sprinted for the hovering aircraft, at the end of his last clip, knowing he wouldn’t be able to withstand another wave. Nadia had pulled him into the back and then screamed over the roar of the helicopter for Leon, and Chris had expected Leon to be right behind him, except—

When he’d turned to see how close Leon was, he’d seen Leon wasn’t anywhere near them. Instead, Leon had been standing at the other end of the roof, hadn’t even moved after being tossed up there by the G-virus infected that was well into its final mobile stage, just a pulsing mass of unrecognizable flesh that was begging to tear them to pieces. The sight of Leon standing stock-still in front of that thing, arms useless at his sides, exposed and in perfect danger, had stopped Chris’s heart.

There had been a moment where Chris thought that maybe Leon had tricked him again— maybe Leon had intended to get Chris to the roof and then let himself be taken by whatever had chased them up there. There had been a moment where Chris had thought he’d genuinely failed and Leon was still looking to die. And in that moment, Chris had been mortally fucking afraid.

He remembered Leon talking about being scared of split seconds decisions, scared of making the wrong one or not making it fast enough. Thinking was going to be the death of them both one day, so Chris hadn’t allowed himself to think. He’d checked the last five bullets to his name, kicked his boots of the gore weighing him down, pressed his hand to his comm and told Leon, “I’m coming after you.”

That had been enough to break Leon from the stupor.

”Don’t you fucking dare, Redfield.”

Chris had been ready to ignore Leon as always when Leon had lifted Mathilda, shot the infected five times in that disgusting fucking eye to give him a few seconds of breathing space, and then turned on his heel and running for the chopper. There hadn’t been words to describe the relief Chris had felt when Leon had made the jump up and Chris had caught the man by the hand, pulling him up alongside him in the carrier, where he belonged. Leon hadn’t looked Chris in the eye, vindictive of the moment of weakness they both knew Leon had just had, but Chris couldn’t bring himself to be upset with the other man. He couldn’t imagine what Leon was feeling. He just needed to make sure he could pull Leon back onto his feet whenever he fell.

Once they’d gotten a safe distance away, Chris had quietly made the calls and they’d heard the echoes of the mansion being blown into nothing. Leon hadn’t reacted— he’d only shut his eyes and turned away.

That was the end of Sherry Birkin.

Not the ending she deserved, but she was being sent off with the love of a father.

Now they were stateside again after a short refuel, and Chris was bracing himself for an arduous debrief once they landed. BSAA’s O’Brian was coming for Chris once they landed atop the small DSO HQ building and Chris didn’t know who Leon was going to. He knew Leon lived in Virginia these days, and Chris had a pad there as well, a temporary one for whenever he was back home at the same time as Claire and they both wanted a familiar place to crash. Chris didn’t know where they were supposed to go from here, but the distance between him and Leon was off-putting and Chris was scared to try to get any closer. He knew Leon shouldn’t be left alone, but he also knew that men needed room to grieve. Chris just wished Leon would include him in that tiny space so Chris wouldn’t have to worry.

“Hope y’all ain’t expecting a warm welcome,” D.C. said over comms. “Since we weren’t exactly sanctioned, Switzerland isn’t very happy with us.”

“Who cares what Switzerland thinks?” Nadia asked. “Fucking neutrals.”

“Any report on who’s down there?” Leon asked, his first words spoken for the countless hours it took for them to get back to the states. Even Nadia looked startled and D.C. glanced back at Chris like they were facing some unknown adversary. Chris just shrugged.

“Uh, nothing,” D.C. replied. “No one reported officially. Why? You got someone you expecting?”

“Got quite a few people to avoid.” Leon settled back, expression uncomfortable. He probably had injuries he was refusing to tell them about, just like Chris. He’d probably fucked up a rib, but there was no way in hell Chris was gonna own up to it. Nothing a hot shower couldn’t fix. Chris’s attention was solely on Leon and the way he was holding himself, the pinch in his brow, the trail of dried blood down his neck. Chris didn’t want to step on any toes, but he had half a mind to anonymously report Leon’s head injury to anyone he could get. Who was Leon’s handler? Hannigan? Maybe she was his best bet.

“Coming down for a landing,” D.C. told them. Chris peered out the doors and saw the roof they were landing on— DSO really did have a small operation. Seemed like it consisted of Leon and, well, that was it. Everyone else that Chris knew of was dead, aside from Hannigan. Chris suddenly realized how fucking lonely that had to be. “O’Brian doesn’t look happy, man,” D.C. griped.

Chris could see O’Brian, the gruff man with his arms crossed over his chest. Since Leon hadn’t exactly been sanctioned by any organization, the job well done wasn’t going to come without its hangups. Sometimes Chris wished these people behind the desks could see what they survived, just once. Maybe then they’d understand that the risk and consequences were more than worth the reward of civilization having another night of peaceful sleep. There was a woman standing beside O’Brian, dark skinned and pretty, her expression more stern than O’Brian’s. Leon was looking at her like he wanted nothing more than to run away.

D.C. brought them down smoothly and Nadia jumped out first, hands up. “Don’t shoot with the laser eyes,” she joked, acting as a temporary distraction so Chris could handle Leon. Both members of Silver Dagger had been able to notice that Leon was more shaken by what they’d done in Switzerland than in New York. They knew something was different. They knew Leon needed a fucking break. D.C. bounded off after her and they started a rush of useless conversation, effectively keeping the woman and O’Brian at bay for a moment. As Leon stood with effort, Chris took the opportunity to take Leon’s elbow and hold him fast.

“I want you to get your head checked out,” he told Leon. When Leon scowled at him, Chris hurried to explain. “Not that you’re not a badass and everything, Agent Kennedy, but that knock on the head put you out of commission in a way I’ve never seen before. Just give me some peace of mind and get it looked over.”

Leon yanked his elbow from Chris’s grip, surprising the larger man. “So it’s back to Agent, huh?” Leon asked, expression tight and unreadable. For a second, Chris was confused. Then he took a moment to keep from reacting sharply like he normally would have with the abrasive DSO operative to actually think about what Leon was saying.

Oh shit.

“I’m not going back on what I said,” Chris told Leon firmly, realizing that using the title had come off as an attempt to distance himself from Leon. “I’m here for you in every way you want me. But you just went through something really fucking traumatic and I don’t want be taking advantage of your…”

When Chris trailed off, Leon rolled his eyes. “You think I’m, what? Emotionally compromised or something?” That was a better phrase for it than Chris could have managed. “Jesus christ, Redfield, sometimes I think the only reason you’ve survived this long is because you’ve got a steel head and nothing in it for fucker’s to shoot.”

With that, Leon jumped from the helicopter and strode smoothly across the roof, all weakness and pain gone from his posture. Chris heard him tell the woman, “It’s finished,” before Leon was walking past her and off the roof entirely. The woman sputtered unhappily and followed Leon, surprisingly quick on stilettos. Chris watched him go, more than a little lost of where they’d go from here and taking a long moment to run over everything he’d said in an attempt to figure it out. It took Chris an even longer moment to realize he didn’t even have Leon’s number.

“Goddammit,” he grumbled to himself before grabbing his bag and being the last to leave the helicopter.

O’Brian moved D.C. and Nadia aside to face Chris and jab an angry finger in his direction. “You wanna explain to me why I have fucking Switzerland of all places complaining about you and that DSO operative destroying a building that was up for admittance to the historical society?”

Chris would actually rather admit to being injured and get a checkup than deal with this. “That place had been for sale for years! Historical society my ass.”

Beside him, Nadia shook her head and mouth for Chris to see: “Fucking neutrals.”

. . .

The DSO HQ was stuffy and stupid and Chris was glad to be leaving.

O’Brian had kept him in one of those awful interrogation rooms and had him tell the tale of destruction three times over because he apparently had the feeling Chris had omitted things. He wasn’t wrong, of course, but there was no way in hell Chris was going to incriminate Leon and everything he’d gone through. Chris had left out everything deal with sex and suicide, deciding he’d deal with the fallout later if he found out Leon had disclosed everything and Chris was caught in a lie. Even if this were to get Chris up shit creek, it wasn’t like he’d tell O’Brian— or anyone— anyways. It was Leon’s business. Chris knew Leon would do the same for him, regardless of the risk.

Now that it was over, Chris was being kindly escorted by stuffy operatives that looked like they didn’t have high enough clearance to be privy to any of Chris’s work and were pissed about the fact. Chris tried not to let their gruff exteriors get to him. He probably would have been just as pissed to get a simple escort assignment for a guy that was probably nearly a foot taller than them both.

Stepping out of DSO HQ and into the sunlight of Virginia at five PM was disgruntling. Chris shielded his eyes from the light and realized he had no idea how he was getting home. He began to pat his duffel bag down for his phone to call for a cab when he heard the honk of a car horn.

Chris looked up to see Claire leaning against a jeep, sunglasses atop her nose, not smiling.

Chris didn’t know if he was in trouble with his sister or not. For a moment, he was almost tempted to pretend he hadn’t heard her and take his chances with the surly guards, see if they put up a good fight if he insisted on heading back in. He could easily make up an excuse—finding Leon, for starters. O’Brian had refused to let Chris go after the man, informing Chris that Leon was in even bigger trouble than Chris was. Hardly seemed fair, considering the shit show Leon had saved them all from. Probably just as unfair as how Claire was treating the poor man.

Chris sighed and squared his shoulders before walking towards the jeep, giving a little wave. “Didn’t think you’d be stateside.”

“I’ve been back in the states since the funeral,” Claire said. Chris’s teeth clacked audibly shut. He should probably just give up on human communication for the next couple days at the rate he was going. Claire sighed and ran a hand through her familiar ponytail. “I’m picking you up,” she told Chris. “But I’m just dropping you off. I’ve got to catch a flight back into India in a couple hours.”

“Fair enough,” Chris said. “I’ll count myself lucky to see you at all.” Even for swallowing his foot, Chris knew his little sister needed him. Once he was within arm’s reach, Chris reached out and took Claire by her shoulders, pulling her solidly into his chest. Claire sunk into the embrace instinctively, hands coming up to fist in the back of Chris’s shirt over his shoulder blades, holding on tight. Chris rubbed her back and laid his free hand atop her head. “I’m so sorry, Claire,” he whispered between them. “I’m just so fucking sorry.”

Claire nodded and sniffled. They hugged for another second before Claire pulled away and wiped at her eyes. “You get shotgun by default,” she told him. “Don’t you dare complain about my driving. If you’ve really been with Leon these past couple days, then you should be grateful I’m behind the wheel, not him.”

“Leon only drove once and then didn’t ask for it again,” Chris said carefully, watching his sister, pinpointing the moment she understood what that meant. Leon giving up the wheel willingly was just as much of a warning light for her as it was for him, even with how angry Claire was.

Claire didn’t say anything and climbed into the Jeep. Chris tossed his bag into the backseat and pulled himself in on the other side. Claire started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot. The radio played some soft college music shit and Chris watched DSO HQ shrink into nothing through the rearview.

He really— wished he could have stayed behind for Leon.

The man had said something about being disavowed and that he was going to become nothing to no one. If Leon really was about to face the end of his DSO career, Chris wanted to be there for the man, a friendly shoulder and hopefully something more. And then Chris would approach O’Brian with Leon’s resume from Chris’s experience and get that man into the BSAA, because there was no way in hell this world was going to survive without the best damn monster-killer no longer in action.

Chris didn’t even feel bad about bringing Leon back into the mess under a different insignia. He knew Leon didn’t want to leave the fight. They were both meant to go down swinging and Chris was positive that, even if DSO was dumb enough to let Leon go, the BSAA wouldn’t. He’d be a credit to the force.

“What are you looking at?”

Claire’s voice startled him from his thoughts. Chris tried to cover up the guilty expression that reflexively took over his face and scratched at his neck. Claire rolled his eyes at all of Chris’s obvious tells. “It’s Leon, isn’t it,” she said. “Jesus, Chris.”

“He doesn’t deserve the way you’re blaming him.”

Chris expected a fight. He was surprised when Claire sighed again and said, “You’re right. But I don’t really have anyone else to blame. Don’t even really know what happened.”

Chris paused, wondering if he could tell her. Well, scratch that, if he should tell her. No amount of yellow tape was going to keep him from trying to make his sister feel better. “It’s not— pretty.”

“Of course it isn’t, Sherry fucking died.”

Chris wanted to smack himself.
Claire sighed a third time. “That was harsh,” she said, grip tightening on the steering wheel. “I’m sorry. I’m having a rough time coping.”

“Completely understandable,” Chris replied.

“I just—” Claire cut herself off, mouth a grim line as she watched the road. “He didn’t stay for the funeral, Chris. All we were told was that Sherry had been killed by people Leon had failed to defeat and the remains had been sent to him. And I know it’s not his fault, okay? I know it’s not. But I don’t have anyone else to be angry at.”

“You could be mad at the people who killed her?”

“They wouldn’t tell us who!” Claire cried out, smacking the steering wheel hard. “They wouldn’t tell us anything! And Leon— every time I asked him, he just clammed up. He stopped talking. I only got to see him once, before he left for god knows where, probably wherever you found him. I saw him for a grand total of ten minutes and he couldn’t even look at me. I just— the way he was acting. It told me he had a lot more to do with her death than I was being told and I didn’t have anyone to blame but him.”

Chris could understand that— the grief and need to find someone to project those uncontrollable emotions onto. When their parents had died, Chris remembered being generally angry at the world and how unsatisfying that anger had felt. He’d quickly turned it around and poured himself into giving his little sister a good life and ensuring she could go to university, but those few months where everything had been red with rage… He wasn’t going to forget those days anytime soon. “Leon doesn’t deserve that blame,” he told Claire softly. “And I can promise you, he beat himself up enough for you both.”

Claire shook her head, angry tears brimming in her eyes. “What did he do?” she finally asked. When Chris didn’t immediately answer, she clarified. “How bad did he let himself get?”

Chris knew he needed to choose his words wisely. He didn’t want Claire to be alarmed, but he couldn’t lie. If there was anyone left in Leon’s life that deserved to know the truth, it was Claire. “He stopped eating when he found Sherry the first time,” he told Claire. “And then when we found…” Chris shook his head, throat tight when remembering the way Leon had looked up at Sherry’s mangled body in that sickening blue liquid. “Claire, the only reason Leon is alive right now is because I refused to let him blow himself up with the fuckers that killed Sherry.”

Claire kept a stiff upper lip, even as a single tear spilled down her cheek. “He always was a glutton for punishment.”

“He feels a lot,” Chris said softly. “He’s not good at showing it. And he doesn’t always know how to handle it.” That much was obvious to even the most unfamiliar of people to Leon Kennedy.

“That’s what happens when you keep getting sent into the end of the world alone,” Claire said. “He’s had partners, yeah, but none of them planned, and they’ve always left in the end. Pretty ladies that knew how to take care of themselves, but not how to handle someone like Leon. The only time he’s been given an official partner also happens to be the time said partner betrayed him in grandiose dramatics. It’s not his fault that the most familiar people in the world to him are walking corpses.” Claire hit the steering wheel again, frustrated. “I’m so mad,” she choked out. “But now I can’t even be mad at him.”

“I know it’s hard,” and Chris did and Claire knew it. “But taking it out on Leon, when what he really needs right now is support? Being there for him is more important. He doesn’t have what we have, Claire.” He reached over the center console to rest his hand on Claire’s shoulder. “He doesn’t have a family. He doesn’t have— anyone. That I know of.”

“He’s got that mercenary that keeps yanking him around,” Claire said.

“Ada Wong?” Claire really didn’t know. “Ada Wong was the person who let it slip that Sherry was involved with the G-virus. Ada Wong is one of the main reasons why Sherry is gone.”

Claire fell silent.

“Leon’s not exactly happy with her,” Chris told her. “I don’t think there’s anything left between them, Claire. So no, he doesn’t have that mercenary that yanks him around. And he doesn’t have President Benford. He doesn’t have his partners. He doesn’t have Sherry. And he— he doesn’t think he has you.”

Claire’s breath hitched in her throat and another treacherous tear fell. “I’ll forgive him,” she said, voice shaking. “Not that he needs to be forgiven, but everything’s just so fucked that I have to take it as it comes. I promise, I’ll forgive him as soon as I can. He shouldn’t— Leon can’t be left alone. He was already in such a bad place before this, Chris. We need to call his handler—”

“He’s not alone,” Chris reassured her. And now he was coming to the crest of the problem. “I, uh— I never told you something that’s kinda important. Just know that I’m not going to let Leon be alone for this. He and I worked out some shit on this op. I’m not about to let him go.”

“If you’re talking about your big secret crush on Leon, then I’ve got news for you, dummy.”

Chris honestly shouldn’t be surprised. “Alright,” he said, squirming in his seat, cheeks warm. “Okay. So. The big secret crush isn’t exactly a secret to you or Leon anymore.” When Claire sighed for probably the millionth time at this point, Chris winced. “Is that gonna be a problem?”

“Hardly,” she said. “I’m just wondering how I missed Leon apparently having a big crush of his own. The guy is like a brick wall at the best of times these days. You know, when we first met? That man was all smiles. Every time I saw him, even when there was a locked gate between us and zombies going for our throats, just all fucking smiles. Made me wonder what he had to go through to let him be so fucking cheerful even at what looked like the end of the world.”

Chris hadn’t thought of that.

“Leon Kennedy’s a good man,” Claire said. “And I swear to god, Chris, if you hurt him? I’ll make you regret it.”

“I thought you were mad at him,” Chris teased, happy to see a little more of his baby sister outside of the mourning.

“Oh, I am,” Claire said. “But I also realize that I’m being completely unreasonable and even a little irrational about it. So trust me when I say that I’ll kick your ass from here to Timbuktu if you break that man’s heart.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Claire nodded. “Good,” she said. “Good. Leon deserves someone like you.”

“And what? Is Leon Kennedy too good for me?”

“Damn right.”

Chris grinned, proud of the hurdles his sister had already leaped. Once she put her mind to something— once she saw an injustice— she was always the quickest to act. One of the many reasons why he was so proud of her. “You know, while I was with the guy, I discovered he has a bit of a self esteem problem. Any ideas on how I should fix it?”

Claire made a face. “I don’t want to think about your sex life, Chris.”

Chris sputtered, going completely red. “That’s not what I meant!”

“Really?”

“No!”

“Oh.” Claire shrugged. “Well then, I’ll change my answer— pin him down and dick him down, big brother. Leon doesn’t think words are real. Actions are the only thing he’ll believe. Make that man feel like a real woman in the only way a Redfield can.”

Chris couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Somewhere along the line, I fucked up terribly raising you.”

“If you’re going to be two-faced, Chris, at least make one of them pretty.”

Chris was speechless. Claire pulled up in front of their townhouse with perfect timing. She smiled sweetly over at him and leaned over the console to give him a kiss on the cheek. The she reached into the pocket of his cargo pants for his phone— and of course it was in the one place Chris hadn’t thought to check— and unlocked it, going into his contacts.

“There we go,” she said after a moment, handing the phone back. Chris looked down to see Leon’s name and a number staring back up at him. “I’m not sure why he didn’t come out of HQ with you if you guys are suddenly something, air-quotes intended, but I know he’ll appreciate the call regardless.” She paused. “Are you guys something?”

“I honestly have no idea,” Chris admitted while staring at Leon’s name and fighting back the ache of missing the other man. “But I want to be. He’s in a bad place and I don’t know when would be the right time to make him start making plans for a future he didn’t count on having.” As Claire began to look distressed, Chris rushed to console. “I’m not going to let anything happen to him,” he assured her. “He’s pretty much stuck with me for the rest of his life now.”

“Like white on rice,” Claire said, giving Chris a firm nod. “You take care of him for me. Let him know that I don’t hold… I know it wasn’t his fault. I just need some time. He’ll understand that.”

“He will,” Chris agreed. Then he reached out to loop his arm around his sister’s neck and pull her in for one of his famous bear hugs, bone crushing squeeze and all. “I love you, Claire,” he said with a laugh as she squirmed and tried to escape. “Take care of yourself.”

When Claire finally wrestled herself from Chris’s grip, she smacked his arm and blew a strand of hair from her face, somehow looking adorable even when upset. “Of course I will, it’s you I should be worried about,” she huffed. “Don’t let Leon beat himself up too much. And definitely don’t let anyone else beat up on him. Use those big muscles to defend our surly prince charming, yeah?”

“Is that what you call him?” Chris asked incredulously.

“Only when he can’t hear me,” Claire replied with a wink. “Go on, Chris. You need a shower.”

“Is that why you hate my hugs?”

“Only one of many reasons.”

Chris laughed and reached into the back for his duffel, opening the passenger door. “Text me when you land safely,” he told her. “And then send Leon a text. You don’t need to worry— I don’t think he’ll have the courage to respond no matter what you say.”

“I wish you were wrong,” she groaned. As Chris dropped out of the Jeep and searched in the duffel for one of the many sets of keys he kept, Claire called out to him one last time. When Chris gave her his attention, she said, “Thank you for making sure I didn’t keep my head in my ass for too long. I knew Leon wasn’t really to blame I just— couldn’t see clearly.” She grimaced, obviously unhappy with herself. “I’ll be better one day. Just make sure he is too.”

Chris gave her a mock salute. “On my life, Claire.”

“See to it, Soldier,” she responded jokingly. “And don’t eat pasta three nights in a row! Get some fucking variety in your diet, jesus.”

Chris slammed the Jeep door shut in retaliation and Claire blew a kiss as she drove away. Chris— felt pretty fucking good. He had the right keys in his hand and Leon’s number in his contacts. He was going to go inside, get clean, eat some pasta to spite Claire, and then finally figure out where he and Leon were going from here. All in all, the happiest ending Chris felt he could expect out of the shit show that was his daily life.

. . .

Settling back into civilian life, however temporary, was always a bit of a chore that Chris liked to start with a change of clothes and a hot shower. The water running off his skin, clean and heated with modern technology, was always a world away from the conditions he existed in when deployed. There wasn’t exactly a surplus of five to three star hotels willing to hole up BSAA operatives that always orbited an apocalypse, and Chris had long ago made himself get used to washing down in a barrel if he was lucky. Now, though, he was in his shower with the rainfall shower head and the heated tile and good music bumping from a radio by the sink, leagues better than the shit Claire listened to. Chris always wished he’d been able to get Claire into Outkast, but she was too stubborn to know what made decent music if it slapped her upside the head.

Chris sang along to Ms. Jackson, loud and off-key on purpose, wiggling his bares hips to the beat and letting himself unwind. He had a plan for after this shower. Make some spaghetti and then draft a fantastic text to Leon, telling him all of the wonderful things that Leon was to him and grand detail of the date Chris had already planned for them so Leon wouldn’t have to lift a finger. And then Chris would call up O’Brian and get him started on Leon’s recruitment process. Even for whatever had happened this op, O’Brian would trust Chris when he said that Leon was nowhere near a liability and the best person they could ever hope to have on the BSAA. Leon would be under BSAA’s globe without a hitch, Chris was sure. And from there, Chris would watch a flick, maybe catch up on his sleep, and anticipate the moment when Leon was finally able to remember Chris existed.

It wasn’t like Chris was going to take a couple hours of radio silence from the DSO Agent personally. Chris had spent six months with amnesia, and even that hadn’t felt like a long enough break to recover from what he’d been through. Chris was going to give Leon all the time in the world, happily.

Chris finished rinsing the shampoo from his hair, still singing along terribly. He was feeling pretty fucking good about his life right now and he couldn’t wait to get the ball rolling. He had so many plans, so many things he wanted to do. He was figuring Leon wasn’t going to reach out for a while, so Chris was already mentally going through his tackle box, thinking of what he would and wouldn’t need for a long overdue fishing trip. He wondered if Leon knew how to fish or if he’d even have the patience to learn. Leon seemed like the kind of man who’d rather use a stick of dynamite than a fishing rod. Chris grinned at the idea and made a mental note to bring it up to Leon whenever he got the chance. He’d love to teach Leon something knew, even if it meant Leon would just find a way to do it faster.

Chris stepped out of the shower after switching off the water and toweled off before stepping into a pair of huge, extremely baggy, extremely comfortable sweatpants. Rarely did he ever get to wear anything that wasn’t tight around his thighs, even BSAA-issued combat cargo pants hugging a little too tightly. Chris stretched his arms lazily to the bathroom ceiling, scrunched his toes into the bathroom rug, and breathed easy. Finally, he could relax. His first day off in god knew how long, first day without some lingering filth clinging to his body. First day feeling human again. He was out to gorge himself on pasta and watch whatever game was on and maybe— just maybe— have himself a little personal time and not feel guilty about having a certain DSO Agent occupying his imagination for the most of it. Fuck yeah, everything was turning up Chris.

As he left his bathroom while texting O’Brian about the Leon situation, his doorbell rang and all the relaxed vibes leeched from his bones. Chris groaned loudly, turned his eyes up to the ceiling again— towards god, the fucking asshole— and silently asked why. Why the fuck couldn’t he just get a moment of peace and quiet? Why couldn’t he just have a lazy afternoon and jack off without having interruption? What the fuck was Jill doing that made Chris such a sought after person?

He wanted a fucking cigarette.

Chris ran his hands over his face, convinced himself he was still dedicated to quitting cigarettes for Claire’s sake, and then groaned again when the doorbell rang a second time. “Coming!” he shouted, forgoing a shirt because fuck whoever was behind that door, they were disrupting his much needed break and they were going to suffer the awkward consequences. After all, it could only be someone from the government coming after him for something, one way or the other. No one else had this address.

Chris ruffled his damp hair, heaved a huge sigh, and threw open the door, letting the chilly air hit his bare skin as he schooled his face into one of gruff detachment. The expression didn’t last long when he saw Leon at his doorstep, the smaller man going beet red as he stared at Chris’s chest. “Okay,” Leon said, sounding stunned. “Definitely not complaining, but can I ask why you’re answering the door half naked?”

“I didn’t think it would be you,” Chris admitted, feeling the cold air a little more now. He knew he didn’t look bad— Chris worked out to maintain peak physique for his work and looking good was merely a side-effect— but he couldn’t help feel like he was still somehow in Leon’s shadow. Leon was effortlessly gorgeous in a way that Chris always felt like he couldn’t measure up to no matter how long he spent in the gym. “I don’t mind that it’s you,” Chris said, hoping Leon didn’t feel like Chris wanted him to leave. “I just— this address isn’t exactly public. So I wasn’t expecting anyone that didn’t have access to my files and shit.”

“Claire gave it to me,” Leon replied stiffly. “And, uh, since this place really isn’t that far from DSO HQ and definitely not out of my way, I thought… Well.” Leon trailed off, looking uncomfortable as he scratched at the back of his neck. “It— isn’t important. If you’re busy, I’ll go.”

Chris had an inkling of why Leon was avoiding the truth. The other man probably didn’t feel safe on his own, didn’t feel like he was in a good enough place to risk isolation. “Come stay with me a bit,” he told Leon, opening the door wider, beckoning him inside. “I’ll get a shirt on, don’t worry.”

“Don’t get dressed on my account,” Leon said as he walked inside, his steps jilted like he didn’t want to seem too eager. Then he winced. “I mean— or do. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. And it’s your house. I’m not— like that. I’m.” Leon let out a frustrated noise and moved past Chris into the townhouse, shutting himself up.

Chris felt bad for the guy. Not only was he suddenly in the dark about his entire future, his home meant to be on the market in a week, his standing as a DSO operative shaky, his painstakingly built family in shambles, but he was also diving headfirst into a relationship with another man for the first time. Leon probably had no idea what to do and since he couldn’t exactly solve all of these problems with a gun like he normally would, he likely had no clue what to do first. Chris wasn’t sure where Leon would accept his help, but he knew he would have to be the one to extend the hand.
“Have dinner with me,” Chris said. “I make a mean spaghetti, but I could always make penne if you want to mix things up. And then we can talk.” At Leon’s owlish look for the t-word, Chris gave him an easy smile as he passed the other man to go up the half stairs that led back towards the bedroom and bathroom. “Nothing serious!” he promised, raising his voice a little as he got out of earshot. “Just negotiations, Agent Kennedy. A seasoned operative like you will think it’s cake.” Chris rifled through his drawers for the few spare clothes he kept in the place. He settled on a Nas hoodie. He wondered what kind of music Leon liked. “Put some tunes on!” he called out. “Just say Alexa and tell her what you want!”

There was a pause as Chris wrestled on the hoodie before the soft sounds of fucking Arcade Fire of all things filled the home. Chris grinned to himself, not at all surprised. He was pretty partial to the latest album— never before had the word “shit” sounded so gorgeous as it did in Electric Blue. It seemed fitting that this would be something Leon enjoyed. Unique and catchy with just enough angst to fit Leon’s hair and fashion sense. Affection swelled in Chris’s chest. He hoped he got to learn a lot more of these minuscule things about Leon over the coming days.

Chris left the bedroom to find Leon standing in the kitchen with wide eyes. Poor guy was eyeing the fridge like it was some sort of puzzle he had to solve. Claire insisted on keeping their utilities in here as updated as possible, so even Chris barely knew how to use the fridge that was apparently “smart.”

“I know how to open it and how to get it to give me water,” Chris said as he strode through his home. “Don’t ask me about ice, though, that thing can give you five different types and they all look the same to me.”

“I think it talked to me,” Leon said.

Chris paused and stared at his fridge. “Did you ask it something?”

“I didn’t say a god damn word and it started telling me the weather.”

Chris nodded slowly, unable to look away from the appliance. “Got a good priest on speed dial?”

“All of them are dead.”

“Damn.” Chris went to the cupboards to pull out a glass. “I’ve got harder shit if you’d rather not drink from the demon’s faucet.”

“Please.”

Chris nodded as he went into the freezer for vodka, knowing he had some mango tea in the fridge that probably hadn’t expired. Claire ordered groceries to the place periodically in case either of them made an impromptu stay. “You weren’t drinking in Italy or Switzerland— thought maybe you’d cut yourself off.”

He heard Leon’s scowl. “I don’t drink on the job, Chris.”

Of course he wouldn’t, Leon wasn’t that stupid and Chris was an idiot for thinking so. But still— “You didn’t have a flask.”

Leon didn’t respond. Chris finished pouring the shot of vodka before mixing it with the chaser that expired in three days, which was perfect. When Chris turned around to hand Leon his drink, he saw that the man was leaning against the counter, staring at the floor with his brow knit in some kind of duress. Chris hesitated, then set the glass down on the marble counter. “You good, Leon?”

“I lied to you,” Leon said. “About some stuff. A lot of stuff.”

Chris had figured. “It’s okay,” he replied. “I get that you weren’t in a great place. It’s not like you were ever going to get anyone else hurt. As much as I hate what you tried to do to yourself, not once did you purposefully or even accidentally endanger me or D.C. or Nadia. You really did intend to just— go down quietly.” If explosions could be considered quiet.

“Uh-huh.” Leon ran a hand through his hair. Even like this, despondent and worn down, he was gorgeous, standing in the middle of Chris’s kitchen, backlit by the lazily setting sun. Chris felt the urge to reach out and take Leon into his arms, pull him close and do— do something. He didn’t know what, but he knew he wanted. He told himself to be patient. Leon had kissed him first, after all. The other man would be setting the pace, but it wasn’t like Leon to keep things in stasis forever. Chris just had to be patient.

“You don’t have to tell me anything,” Chris told him gently. “Just know that I understand, okay? At least to the extent I’m capable of understanding. I don’t know what you’re going through, not perfectly, but I know what it’s like to want to give up.”

His confession had Leon looking up with surprise. “You do?” he asked, voice low. “Since when did Chris Redfield feel like throwing in the towel?”

“The first time?” Chris shrugged. “Probably my amnesia trip in Edonia.”

“But that wasn’t entirely you,” Leon argued. “The trauma of what you went through took the choice away from you. You didn’t choose to have amnesia. It’s not like people choose to block out traumatic memories. It’s a coping mechanism.”

“But I fought against remembering,” Chris replied gently. “And it took one of my own men to drag me out of it.”

Leon nodded. “Piers.”

“I’m surprised you know him.”

Leon shrugged. “You and him were a thing.”

Chris flushed at the memory, unable to lie and say Leon was wrong. “Not officially,” he hedged. “Not even on paper and not to each other. We were just— moments of convenience. You know what adrenaline does to a man. How the crash can leave us. The man had saved my life more than once and it was just…”

As words failed him, Leon filled in the gaps. “Brothers in arms,” he said. “Someone you could trust.”

Chris nodded. “Like Buddy was for you.”

Leon grimaced. “I lied to you, Chris.”

Since Leon admitted this immediately after Chris brought up Buddy, he could only assume what Leon had lied about. “I won’t judge you for lying about having been with another man,” Chris said even as jealousy poured into his chest. He wasn’t going to say he was possessive, but the idea of being Leon’s first in something like this had been electrifying. Chris couldn’t hold it against Leon for being his own person, but—

“Jesus, why would I lie about that?” Leon asked, derailing Chris’s train of thought. “If anything, wouldn’t I rather brag and say I had? It’s not like you and I have some macho exterior to upkeep. You already told me you were bi, what would have been the harm in me saying I’d fumbled around with a man?” Leon shook his head, looking back to the floor, that storm overtaking his expression again. “I lied about what happened to him.” Then Leon reached into his back pocket and pulled out some folded up sheets of paper. He laid it on the island that was to their left and didn’t look at Chris. Chris raised a brow, then reached out and took the papers, unfolding them carefully.

It was a report, standard write up after a debrief, rehashing everything in shorthand like they were trained to do. Most of the shit had been blacked out with black marker, the unfortunate aftermath of their work. But Chris could read some of it, specifically the name Alexander Kozachenko. “That’s a fucking name,” he said, figuring Leon would know what he meant since it was one of the only things not blacked out.

“That’s Sasha,” Leon said stiffly. “Buddy.”

Chris nodded and kept reading what he could, getting to the end of the report in no time because there really wasn’t much. He read Leon’s short phrasing of putting down Alexander, the last plaga infected with the master status. Chris looked at the report a little longer, not reading, but studying the way the pen seemed to be harsher with those words, like Leon had nearly forced the pen through the page.

“I lied,” Leon said again. When Chris looked up to him for more, Leon hid behind his hair. “Buddy isn’t dead.
Now that— was sort of a big deal. “He’s dead in the report,” he told Leon, hoping the other man understood what he was risking if he told Chris the truth. If Leon kept this to himself, then no one would ever find out, no one around to point to Leon as guilty. But if it somehow slipped and Chris were to be someone in the know who could (and would be forced) to testify to the truth being told to him, Leon would be in deep water.

“I trust you,” Leon said.

Well, fuck. Chris couldn’t argue with that.

“He’s not dead,” Leon told him. “I’m not a doctor, but I’m good enough at killing to know how to avoid death entirely. I shot his spine, destroyed the part that was Plaga infected with minimal paralysis. He’s able to use his upper half, his arms and shit. He’s in a wheelchair now. He’s a teacher again.”

Chris nodded along, wondering why Leon had felt the need to lie about this. If anything, Leon should have been proud. Being able to make a shot to keep alive one of the many people that deserved to survive these hellholes? Chris knew Leon wasn’t one to brag, but this wasn’t something to shoved under the rug either. “Any reason why?”

Leon was silent for another long moment. “I didn’t… want to be a hypocrite.”

Chris didn’t understand. He folded the report back up and leaned against a counter opposite of Leon, giving him ample space and time. While Leon agonized of what he wanted to say, Chris made a note to try and reach out to this Alexander Kozachenko. It would be good for Leon to see an old friend— proof of the good of his efforts and that they really could make a difference.

“I told you how it happened.” Leon was finally able to continue. “He’d had the Plaga and he was scared of becoming a monster. He’d had his gun beneath his chin and I took it from him and told him that once we started using our weapons to fight, we owed it to the people we’d loss to keep fighting, no matter what. Taking our own lives was no longer our choice to make. Our lives— weren’t our own to take. And I told him this with such stupid certainty that when I made the choice to die there with Sherry, I had to keep telling myself Buddy was gone so I wouldn’t feel like such a piece of shit for going back on my word like that.”

Chris ached for the other man. “If he really was your friend, or something close, he wouldn’t hold it against you.”

“He would,” Leon denied. “And he’d have every right to. God, I’d even welcome it. Sometimes I need a good punch to the eye to see shit clearly.”

Chris made a face. “I don’t like hitting people.”

“I don’t know about that,” Leon murmured. “Your right swing was pretty damn good back in Italy.”

Chris winced, hating the reminder. “How’s the bruise?”

“Hurts.” Leon shrugged. “I deserved it. I goaded you. I deserved that hit just as much as I’ll deserve whatever Buddy does to me if he finds out what I tried to do. He’s in a wheelchair, but I’ve seen that fucker with a gun. He’d probably wheel over my feet and break my fucking toes if nothing else.”

The fondness in Leon’s voice spoke volumes. “You really admire him,” Chris said softly. Then, “You said nothing happened, but since he’s alive— do you— are you having second thoughts?”

“About what?” Leon asked. When Chris gave an embarrassed shrug, Leon snorted a laugh. “About fucking him? Chris, it wasn’t like that. You said it yourself. Never fall for the straight guy. And I—god, I don’t think I deserve someone like him.”

Chris grabbed a fork from the drawer beside him and threw it at Leon’s head. Leon dodged it, as Chris knew he would, but the wide eyes of shock still said Chris’s intentions were loud and clear. “Sorry,” Chris said with false sincerity. “As I’ve discovered your abysmal self esteem, I’m going to start exploring different methods of retraining you. I’m guessing projectiles is a no go?”

“Self esteem?” Leon asked, flabbergasted. “What the fuck?”

“You deserve the god damn world, Leon Kennedy,” Chris said firmly. “You deserve everything you’ve ever wanted in your most selfish of moments. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to be safe. And you definitely deserve to get laid by the guy that you saved, if he’s willing.”

Leon’s cheeks flushed a pretty pink and Chris was undeniably smitten. “I-I didn’t bring him up to be like, ‘wow, look what could have happened,’” Leon said with an adorable stammer. “I brought it up because I don’t like lying to you and I— need to— show you something.”

The halted words had Chris’s interest as Leon reached into his back pocket again and pulled out folded photo paper. Leon set it down delicately on the island next to the folded files, showing that he cared about whatever this was much more than he cared about the report. Chris looked to Leon for permission, which Leon gave with a nod. Chris reached out and took the photo, carefully undoing the folds, revealing the image slowly so as to avoid tearing anything.

The photo was of a man standing tall, a gruff expression on his face, looking away from the photographer. In the foreground, blurred to allow the focus on the man beyond, was a hand with thick fingers and strong knuckles giving the first man in the shot the middle finger. In the background the skyline of crumbled houses and old architecture was red and smoky, common effects of a city in the middle of a war.

The man in the image, though, the man in focus— he was definitely attractive, Chris could see that from a universal standing. His face was cut and strong and his eyes hard with determination. His dark hair was short and choppy, a quick cut done by someone who didn’t have enough time to do anything with his hair expect keep it out of his eyes. His lips were set in a grim line, but still somehow appealing. He wore a v-neck shirt beneath a brown jacket, the definition of his chest and collarbone on display. He was definitely a man to be reckoned with, a man who Chris could see standing tall next to Leon as more than just a fellow soldier.

Chris turned the photo over, saw two names. “Sasha, taken by JD.” “Well shit,” Chris said. “I really don’t blame you for wanting this guy, straight or not.” When Leon raised a brow, though, Chris realized he hadn’t gotten it right. Leon hadn’t shown him the photo so Chris would know he had taste. “Uh— he looks like a badass?”

“Jesus christ,” Leon said. “He looks like you, Chris.”

Chris’s eyes shot back down to the photo and realized that Leon was right— they weren’t twins, but they were similar. Strong jaw, broad shoulders, dark hair, stern eyes. Chris liked to think he had a little more muscle in his legs, but he could definitely see the similarities. Chris cleared his throat and carefully set the photo back down. “So?” he asked, going for nonchalance, unable to read what Leon was trying to tell him. “I’m pretty mundane, as far as men go. Nothing like you.”

Leon picked up the fork Chris had thrown at him and chucked it at Chris’s head. Chris jerked to the side to avoid being hit and thought over his words, realizing he was guilty of the same thing he’d chastised Leon for. “Huh.”

“I lied,” Leon said. It seemed like it would be a night of confessions for him. “I told you that he was the only man I’d ever thought about being with— that’s not the truth.”

Chris’s breath caught in his throat as he finally made the connection. Maybe Leon had been attracted to Buddy for more than just his looks, but the initial connection had been made in his mind because—

“I wanted Buddy because he reminded me of you,” Leon told Chris, echoing the conclusion he was finally making. “I’ve wanted you for as long as I’ve known your name, Chris Redfield, but I told myself I would never have the chance.” Chris’s heart hammered in his chest from the way Leon was looking at him. Those green eyes had never looked so dark. Leon shuddered a breath. “And back in the Eastern Slavic Republic? Even Buddy, who was avenging his dead fiancée, seemed a lot more attainable than you ever have.”

Chris pushed off the counter. “What are you standards for me taking your virginity?”

“Jesus Christ,” Leon breathed as he pushed off as well, moving to meet Chris.

“Bed? Sofa? Table?” Chris listed, reaching out for Leon. “Counter?”

“Do I look like the kind of guy who gives a shit?” Leon asked as he strode across the floor and took Chris’s face in his hands to pull him down for a searing kiss. “Just take me somewhere,” Leon growled against his lips, nibbling on the lower one, moving in Chris’s arms as if he wanted to climb Chris like a tree. Leon looped a leg around Chris’s knee and lifted himself higher to push harder into the kiss. He stole Chris’s breath and Chris knew immediately that Leon was going to be a handful.

“Sorry if I like to get things right,” Chris teased as he held Leon’s jaw and deepened the kiss, trying to slow this down. He didn’t know what kind of adrenaline crash Leon was coming out of, but Chris wanted to make this more than just a survival fuck. He wanted to take care of the other man, let him feel something other than the ever-present awful that had been haunting him for days. Chris looped his arms around Leon’s waist and held him tight against his chest, refusing to let Leon squirm out of his grip. “Easy, Agent,” Chris murmured as Leon let out this whine. “We have all night and then some. I’ve got you.”

If anything that only seemed to rile Leon up more. He took a fistful of Chris’s short hair and yanked his head back to seal his lips to the column of Chris’s neck, nipping at the flesh, warmth curling low in Chris’s stomach. He groaned softly, but refused to go back on his own words. Leon was dead set on leaving marks in Chris’s skin and Chris was loathe to stop him, and yet someone had to be the adult between them. Leon’s grip in his hair was strong, but Chris was stronger. He pulled his head from Leon’s grip and took the man by the hips, lifting him up and off his feet without a hitch. Leon let out this yelp that Chris found absolutely adorable and Chris laughed as Leon wrapped his arms around Chris’s neck to keep from falling. “Did you just fucking—”

Chris dropped Leon onto the counter before he could finish, standing between Leon’s knees and kissing him again. “It’s so strange,” he murmured into the other man, feeling the pleased noise that rumbled through Leon’s chest. “When we were like this back in Switzerland, you tasted so different.”

Leon frowned against Chris’s lips, pulling back just a little to look at him. Jesus christ, they were barely getting their hands on one another and Leon was already a ruffled, gorgeous mess. His lips were slick and red against his pale skin, green eyes gleaming as he squinted down at Chris like he was confused. “I tasted what?”

“Different,” Chris repeated, running his hands down Leon’s back and taking him by the swell of his ass to pull Leon down the counter. “You tasted like adrenaline and blood. Like fear. Like the fight. You don’t taste like that now.” Leon’s brow was furrowed in dazed bewilderment as he kept trying to lean in and get his mouth on Chris’s neck again, but Chris refused, distracting him with little pecks and squeezing Leon’s ass in slow, undulating rolls of his hand. Leon’s hips began to move with his touch, pressing into Chris’s stomach. “Now you taste like toothpaste,” Chris told him with a crooked grin as Leon caught on, grinding into Chris’s stomach on instinct. If there was one thing Chris knew about grieving men, it was that sex was probably the best temporary antidepressant. “I like it.”

“You got some weird fucking kink I don’t know about?” Leon asked as he gripped Chris’s shoulders for purchase and sought friction, breath coming a little harsher as Chris felt the other man harden against his abdomen. “Talking about taste and shit— we’re bodies, we taste like corpses, Redfield.”

“When the fuck have you tasted a corpse, Kennedy?” Chris shot back, reaching down between their bodies to palm the front of Leon’s jeans, watching the way his gorgeous face scrunched up at the first real taste of pleasure. “You sound like you’re the one with a weird kink.”

“Shit blows up, what can I do?” Leon asked breathlessly as the rolling of his hips became sharper, pressing into Chris’s hand. “You ever fought a fucking Whopper, back in Tall Oaks? Shit’s fucking nasty. And then there’s also the fact that when this all first started I took a dive into an organ infested sewer and— fucking hell, Chris are you even listening?”

Chris was, in fact, not listening at all. He had his teeth against Leon’s collarbone and his hand stroking the bulge through the denim, enjoying the way he could feel every muscle in Leon’s body tighten and release in rhythm. “You feel so fucking good,” Chris moaned into Leon’s pulse. Leon let out this noise and his fingers were back in Chris’s hair, holding on and thrusting into his hand.

“Is this another kink?” Leon asked breathlessly. Chris nodded an affirmation and sunk his teeth into where Leon’s jaw connected to his shoulder. The man shuddered against him and gasped. “You’re one of the infected,” Leon groaned, petting Chris’s hair. “I fucking knew it. Gonna turn me, Redfield?”

“Why is that hot?” Chris asked.

“It’d be hotter if you were inside me.”

Chris had to shut his eyes for a moment to brace against the pure need that laced through his body at Leon’s casual statement. “You have no idea,” he confessed, hypnotized by the movements of Leon’s body, who was still grinding against him. Chris wasn’t giving him much relief, only acting as a warm body to get off against. He knew Leon wanted more, he just hadn’t thought he would want that. “God, Leon— I want you so fucking bad.”

“Then fucking take me,” Leon shot back. “How do we do this?”

Chris’s eyes flew wide open in shocked realization— Leon hadn’t ever done this before. Leon had never been with a man, never been touched by one like this, never been fucked. And Chris was just going to get him off in the kitchen like it wasn’t important, like it meant nothing? Like Leon meant nothing? Fuck that. “We’re going to the bed,” he told Leon. Leon’s undulating stopped abruptly, the other man obviously thrown off. Chris ran his tongue over the spot he’d bit and brought his hands up to Leon’s back, rubbing in slow, soothing circles. “Do I need to carry you?”

“Why the fuck are we moving?”

Chris hummed softly. “This is your first time.”

The fingers in Chris’s hair pulled Chris’s head back. Leon frowned down at him, looking confused again. “What?” Chris asked. “I wanna do it right.”

“You were the one who made the joke in the beginning about taking my virginity,” Leon reminded him. “Which, by the way, is fucking hilarious. Losing my virginity at over forty years old? Not even Hollywood went that far.”

“Let me take care of you, Leon,” Chris pleaded softly, not rising to the bait. “Let me make it good for you.”

“Why can’t you just do it on this counter?”

“I will carry you if I have to, Agent Kennedy.”

“You’ve been feeling my dick up this whole time, you know I’m not a girl.”

Chris let out a noise of exasperation before taking Leon’s thighs and forcing his legs to hook around Chris’s waist. “This is your only warning,” Chris said before wedging his hands beneath Leon’s ass and lifting. Leon’s arms went tight around his neck again, the smaller man letting out a tiny little shriek as he was brought into the air. Leon still wasn’t back at his optimal weight, but Chris also liked to think he worked out enough to be able to easily carry the man. Leon was hard against Chris’s stomach, Chris’s own erection reacting positively to the feeling of Leon’s body against him like this, his limbs wrapped around, his breath on Chris’s skin. “I thought you’d be used to be manhandled.”

“I’m used to being manhandled by monsters, not sexy men with biceps the size of my fucking head,” Leon complained. “If you drop me, I’m drop-kicking you.”
Chris laughed and easily walked them to the bedroom, happy that Leon wasn’t going to fight him on this. Everything they were going to need was in the bedroom, after all. Chris kicked open the door, laughed again when Leon squeaked as Chris’s grip shifted. “Give me some credit!” Chris said as Leon threatened to break his neck with how tightly he was holding on. Leon’s feet were hooked around Chris’s back, like some overgrown Koala bear holding onto a tree in a storm. “I’d never let you fall,” Chris told Leon with a cheesy grin and a kiss to the skin below Leon’s pulse.

“Hallmark has poisoned you,” Leon grumbled.

“Well, if you really think I’m not strong enough to carry you, then I guess I better meet your expectations.” With that, Chris reached back to undo Leon’s hold around his neck. Leon fell with a yelp, landing safely on his back on the mattress, legs still around Chris’s waist. Leon looked grumpy, hair splayed out around his head on the sheets, and Chris was going to laugh until Leon used his leverage, arched his spine, and rubbed his ass against the curve of Chris’s hard cock through his sweatpants. Chris’s eyes went wide as Leon smiled deviously up at him. “You’re a fucking menace.”

“Gonna do something about it?” Leon asked, showing off the strength in his thighs and abs as he used them to grind into Chris. Chris groaned softly, feeling little relief from the teasing friction. His neglected cock was straining against the soft material of the sweatpants and he couldn’t stop himself from meeting Leon’s thrusts, taking Leon by the hips to hold him up, pressing into Leon’s ass in some mockery of the real thing. Leon chuckled and Chris looked down to see the deviousness falling away into some heady. “Show me how,” Leon beckoned, fingers fisting in the sheets, his shirt falling down his torso to reveal miles of skin, abs working to keep up the grind. Chris would have been impressed if he weren’t so turned on. “Teach me.”

“You’re the devil,” Chris accused.

“And you love me,” Leon teased.

“I do.” When Chris so readily agreed, Leon’s confidence fell away, a faint blush coming across his cheeks that wasn’t part of exertion. Chris took the momentary lull in his attention to push Leon further up the bed, back to where the throw pillows still rested against the headboard. “I love you, Leon,” he said firmly, not letting himself forget why they were doing this or what had led up to it. “I’m so happy I finally have you.”

Leon was bright red now, rendered momentarily speechless. Chris grinned and grabbed the bottom of his own hoodie, yanking it off from over his head. Leon’s eyes shot down from Chris’s gaze to his chest, that flush stretching far beyond his face now. “Michelangelo would have a stroke if he saw someone as perfect as you.”

“That’s probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

Leon narrowed his eyes. “Shut up and fuck me, Redfield.”

Chris held up his hands in mock defense. “That’s not how this works, you know that, right?” Wait, shit, Leon probably didn’t. As far as Chris knew, Leon’s only true experience was god damn Agapito of all the disgusting men in the world. “You’ve had sex,” Chris said, lowering his voice, going for gentle intimacy. “You know people don’t just bump uglies and call it a day.”

The flush persisted on Leon’s cheeks. “I know that,” he defended. “I just— didn’t know if it would be the same.”

“Foreplay isn’t gender specific,” Chris told him softly, going down onto the mattress on his knees, settling between Leon’s spread legs, letting him adjust to the way the bed sunk beneath Chris’s weight. Chris sat back on folded legs and laid his hands on Leon’s calves, pressing his thumbs into the muscles. Leon was tense in his grip. He was probably nervous. “Grab the shit under that pillow, “ he said, jerking his head to the pillow that was to Leon’s right. “I’m gonna show you everything, okay? Trust me.”

Leon’s lips were a tight line as he nodded and reached beneath the pillow where Chris kept his lube. Chris waited patiently for Leon to grab it, still just massaging the muscles in Leon’s lower legs. Leon let out this noise of confusion and Chris looked up, expecting to have to give some sort of explanation. Then Chris’s thoughts froze when he saw Leon hadn’t grabbed the lube— he’d grabbed Chris’s fucking gun. The Samurai Edge he’d kept from S.T.A.R.S., the firearm he had under his pillow for paranoia’s sake. It was Chris’s turn to be embarrassed. “I can explain.”

“I would fucking hope so,” Leon said, the gun resting comfortably in Leon’s skilled grip. “It’s not loaded— there’s not even a clip. What are you gonna do, ask the intruder to wait patiently while you find bullets?” Leon shook his head, obviously upset with Chris’s lack of efficiency. “Nightstand, right?” Leon didn’t wait for Chris’s confirmation. He twisted his spine and reached across the bed into the nightstand beside the mattress, shirt bunching up again and showing more of that deliciously toned body. Leon fished around in the top drawer and let out a noise of triumph before coming back with a standard 15 round magazine. Using upper body strength alone, Leon moved back in between Chris’s legs and pushed in the magazine, checking all the outer parts and then flicking the safety off, then on again for extra measure.

“There you go,” Leon said, smiling at the gun and looking unreasonably sexy for someone who was just lying atop Chris’s bed with a fucking weapon in their hand. “Now you can defend us from bad guys. Is this Bullet-Chan?”

“I wish that gun were my dick,” Chris said.

Leon sputtered a laugh and laid the firearm carefully on the top of the nightstand before reaching back under the pillow, muzzle pointed away from them, and finally— finally— fishing out the lube. It was a bottle the size of Leon’s hand and half empty. “I gotta ask,” Leon said, something odd coming over his expression. “Is this all used up because you spoil yourself or am I just another notch in the bedpost?”

Chris’s eyes went wide at the vulnerability he heard in Leon’s words. He bent over and tangled his fingers in Leon’s hair to make the man face him and look him in the eyes. “You listen to me, Leon Kennedy,” Chris ordered. “You are not and never will be anything as insignificant as that. You’re my partner, Leon, in every sense of the word you want to be. Don’t ever think you’re anything less than everything to someone like me.”

Leon grimaced and cut his eyes away, seemingly unused to such blatant declarations of feelings. “Don’t get sappy,” he grumbled. “Just— tell me what to do. I can’t— there’s a lot in my head. Don’t make me think.”

Chris could get on board with that. “Tell me what you want.”

“I don’t have the faintest idea,” Leon said, squirming beneath Chris. “But if you don’t get a move on, I’m gonna have to take the reins myself.”

“This isn’t just sex, Leon, you can’t just brute force your way through this.”

Leon’s brow raised. Chris realized he’d just issued a challenge. “God dammit.”

Leon hooked a leg around Chris’s waist, got his elbow over Chris’s neck, and pushed hard, using momentum to slam Chris into the mattress and swing himself up on top. Leon laughed, the sound loud and happy from where he was now perched on Chris’s lap, obviously pleased with himself. “You didn’t even put up a fight,” he said, smiling down at Chris, hands planted on Chris’s chest to keep himself steady. His ass was atop Chris’s cock again, knees at Chris’s sides, a comfortable weight and a teasing pressure on Chris’s erection. Jesus christ, this was torture. Leon looked damn good on top of him, hair falling in front of his face, eyes bright with something like joy. Chris’s heart ached with love.

“I’m supposed to be the one fucking you,” he reminded Leon. “Unless you think you can handle that yourself?”

“You talking about me fucking myself or me fucking you?” Leon shrugged as Chris choked on his own tongue. “I’ll fuck you later, Redfield, no reason to get antsy.” Then Leon was squirming down Chris’s legs, hands running down the planes of Chris’s flat stomach. “I don’t know much about the intricacies of sex with guys,” Leon said. “But there’s one part I know that’s pretty much universal when a dick is involved.”

Then Leon was pulling down the waistband of Chris’s sweatpants, Chris’s cock, heavy and full, springing up between them. It slapped against Chris’s belly, a smatter of precum dotting his skin. Leon’s eyes went wide and Chris cleared his throat awkwardly. “Well, you did say people passed rumors about the legendary proportions,” he tried to joke.

“Remind me to never say you take steroids again,” Leon said, staring at Chris’s erection. “Because steroids have never touched you— not with a dick this big. It’s just not possible.”

“Stop staring at it,” Chris told him with an edge of embarrassment. He knew it was larger than average and his partners constantly got themselves in some eventual tizzy, saying that it was too big and that it would hurt and that, essentially, Chris couldn’t be trusted to know his own strength. “We don’t have to do this.”

Leon finally tore his eyes from Chris’s cock to look Chris in the eye. That devious grin was slowly returning. “Chris, trust me— I’m not complaining.”

Immediately, Chris’s anxieties bled away. He wondered why he’d even bothered comparing this to his previous partners. Leon was unlike anyone Chris had ever been with. Chris was drawn out of his thoughts by the sensation of Leon taking the base of Chris’s cock in his hand, and that perfect mouth pressing delicately against the tip, precum glistening as it smeared across Leon’s lips.

”Oh fuck me,” Chris wheezed as his head fell back against the mattress. The sight of Leon like this— since when did Chris have so little self control? Leon’s mouth on the heated skin was torture, the other man feeling out the waters, grazing against him, testing and tasting. Chris covered his face with his hands, knowing that if he looked back down and saw Leon figuring out how to get his lips around his very first cock, Chris would explode. The fumbling touches of a man who knew what he liked and wondering how it translated, the hot puffs of breath along the shaft, the drag of a tongue. Chris breathed carefully and tried not to cum too fast, even the mental image of Leon, with his bright eyes and focused expression, that serious look he’d where when he was trying to get something right, all of that focused on Chris’s fucking dick. The universe was unfair because Chris wanted to see this more than anything, and yet he knew that if he looked, this would all be over way too soon.

“Just t-take your time,” Chris stammered, feeling like he was failing as a teacher because how was he supposed to coach someone sucking him off? Leon’s skillful tongue dipped into the slit and Leon made a noise at the taste. Chris fought to keep his ass on the bed, not wanting to throw Leon off with a badly timed thrust. “Don’t go too fast,” he advised as Leon dragged his lips over the head and sucked gently, feeling it out. Chris’s hips jerked and he whined deep in the back of his throat. Leon was really good at being a fucking tease, that was for sure. “Take your time.”

Leon snorted a laugh. “Fuck that.” That was the only warning Chris got before Leon’s lips stretched wide and Leon took Chris as far down as he could in fluid motion.

Chris couldn’t help it— his body thrust up into Leon’s mouth and the other man pulled off quickly with a cough. Chris looked down, guilt lacing through him, past the lingering pleasure of Leon’s mouth around him. “I am so sorry,” he said, knowing he was much too big to be doing that sort of thing even with someone who knew what they were doing. He sat up, braced on his elbows. “Fuck, Leon, I’m sorry.”

Leon sat back on his haunches, brow furrowed as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He glared down at Chris, but not like he was angry. “Lay back,” he ordered. “I’m gonna try again.”

Chris was stunned. “You don’t have to.”

“Fuck off, I want to.” Leon pushed Chris back down with a hand to his chest. “Do me a favor and don’t move— I’m gonna get this right.”

Why the actual fucking did Chris find Leon’s stubbornness to deep throat his cock a turn on.

“Any tips?” Leon asked, staring down at Chris’s cock like it was his next battle to win. There was a determined glint to his eyes, tongue swiping across his lips. Chris was speechless. Leon sent him a cocky grin and wrapped his hand around Chris, long fingers pale against the flushed shaft. “Guess I’m doing something right,” he said as he stroked Chris with the ease that could only come from another man. “I gotta say, it’s not that different,” Leon told him as Chris laid his head back and tried to focus on the lazy heat welling in his gut. Leon was only touching, exploring, figuring out what Chris liked and what he liked through experience. Chris was happy to play doctor with Leon if that was what it took. He actually liked the gentle grip of Leon’s fingertips, the drag of his unsure touch. How he was being so careful. It was the sweetest of tortures and Chris couldn’t get enough of the other man.

“Touching you,” Leon said, voice low like he was talking to himself. “Seeing the way you react, the way you try to hold back. I don’t know.” Leon kept up his strokes with an agonizingly languid pace. The hand that was still on Chris’s chest moved in slow circles, just feeling Chris’s body while the other hand pulled Chris’s sanity apart. “I like touching you,” Leon murmured. “I like being the one to make you feel good. It’s something I’ve always wanted, you know. I didn’t know how it would work, but I knew I wanted to do it. Should’ve known you wouldn’t be picky about it.” The hand on Chris’s chest moved down, settling on his stomach, pressing, pinning Chris.

“I should have known you’d be like this,” Leon continued to think aloud. “Others first, never putting yourself ahead of anyone else. Happy to let me do whatever I please even if it’s not what you want.” Leon hummed softly under his breath. “You’re so fucking good, Chris, in every meaning of the word. I know you said you wanted to take care of me— just let me do this for you.”

Then Leon was sinking back down on Chris’s cock, taking him further, moving so fucking slowly that Chris was sure he was going to die. Chris held his breath as that wet heat enveloped him, tight and perfect and almost shy in its decent, Leon being as careful as he could, whether for himself or for Chris, he wasn’t sure. Regardless, Chris was wound tight as a knot, trying desperately to keep from dislodging Leon with a cant of his hips. His thighs trembled with the effort around Leon’s head, the only thing keeping him in place being the firm hand on his stomach.

“Fuck, Leon,” Chris gasped as Leon’s tongue did this thing that had Chris’s entire being flinching. Leon was about two inches down from what Chris could feel and he wasn’t sure how far Leon intended to go. For now, Chris’s head was a swirl of lust and affection, wondering how the two emotions could meld like this with Leon’s mouth on him. Leon sunk even lower, before drawing back up, then sinking down again, a moan slipping out from the other man and sending delicious vibrations down Chris’s body. He shuddered and whimpered an embarrassing noise, turning to hide his face in the pillow beside him. The hand that was on his stomach trailed down and then off Chris entirely, taking his fingers and— threading them with Leon’s.

Leon was holding his fucking hand while trying to suck Chris’s dick.

White hot need shot through Chris’s spine and his hips thrust upwards again, too sharp and too fast, forcing his cock deeper down Leon’s throat. The other man grunted but didn’t pull off or choke like Chris had expected. Instead, he moved with the thrust and readjusted, adapting perfectly in the way only Leon fucking Kennedy could. The hand that was holding the base of Chris’s cock moved down to his balls, rolling them delicately, as Leon his head. Chris threw his head back as his toes curled, Leon’s name coming out in a desperate whine. Then Leon was inching further and impossibly further down with the next suck, almost startling Chris with how far Leon could take him, and that searing pleasure was too much all at once. Chris made the mistake of looking down, saw Leon with his long lashes dusting his cheeks, lip stretched wide around him, so fucking gorgeous between his legs, and Chris was going to fucking cum—

“Stop, stop, stop!” he babbled, expecting a bit of a fight, but was relieved when Leon yanked himself off and lurched back. Leon let go of his hand and put a little too much space between them, yet Chris was grateful for the breather. He wrapped his own fingers around the base of his cock, holding back the orgasm with extreme effort. “Jesus christ,” he gasped, laughing a little. “Of course you’d be a natural at everything.”

When Leon didn’t respond, Chris looked up, expecting him to be mocking Chris a little for having such a trigger finger, but Leon instead looked— scared. “What?” Chris asked, sitting up, alert. “What’s wrong?”

“You said stop,” Leon told him, voice shaking. “I thought—”

Leon cut himself off, but Chris didn’t need him to continue. Dread sunk into Chris’s gut and he scowled, cursing a dead man. “If I could kill Agapito twice, I would,” he told Leon, reaching out to pull the man close again, taking Leon by the waist and coaxing him into his lap. Chris carded his fingers through Leon’s hair and kissed his neck, feeling Leon manually relax every muscle against him. “I needed you to stop because I was about to cum down your throat and end all of this too son,” he told Leon, forgoing his embarrassment for Leon’s comfort. “You’re okay, Leon. You’re safe with me.”

“I would never do that to anyone,” Leon swore into Chris’s ear. “Never. I’m not— I can’t.”

“I know,” Chris assured him, rubbing up and down Leon’s spine, feeling his pulse against his lips. His cock still throbbed with desire and he wanted nothing more than to push Leon down and take the man how they both wanted, but what Leon had survived, the trauma he’d experienced— it was much more important. “You stopped when I told you to stop, you didn’t even hesitate. You’re a good man, Leon Kennedy. You’re nothing like him.”

Leon trembled and nodded, clinging to Chris like he was afraid to be dropped again. Chris wouldn’t be the one to let him go— Leon would have to pull away first. Chris had long ago learned to never be the one to end an embrace and he wasn’t about to let Leon down. He kissed the thrum of Leon’s heartbeat again and said, “We don’t have to do this now.”

Leon pulled away sharply, sitting up straight in Chris’s lap and glaring down at him. Then he tore off his shirt and tossed it carelessly to the side. Chris was suddenly left holding a shirtless Leon Kennedy who was close enough to taste and he was speechless. When Chris failed to say anything, could only sit and stare, Leon cocked a brow. “You gonna do something, Redfield? I thought you were the one running the show.”

“I don’t want to do anything—”

“If you think for one god damn second I’m going to let that fucker ruin this for us, then you’re trying to fuck the wrong person, Redfield.”

Chris sputtered and then laughed, unable to understand how he ever could have told himself he disliked this tenacious and passionate man. “Get the lube,” he told Leon, holding his hips steady. “And get completely undressed.”

Leon looked down at himself and finally seemed to realize he was still wearing jeans and a belt. The course denim was rubbing the oversensitive skin of Chris’s cock and yet he couldn’t bring himself to ask Leon to move away. Leon did move, though, and Chris was sad to see him go. Leon stood fluidly and stepped back down the mattress to jump down to the floor, immediately working away at his belt. Chris took the pause to strip out of the sweatpants, reaching for the lube and squirting a healthy amount into his palm. He wondered if he should try to get Leon off first, thinking that it’d be best to have Leon lax from the orgasm if Chris was going to—

Chris looked up and fucking stared again as Leon nonchalantly kicked off his jeans and boxers and stood naked at the foot of Chris’s bed like it was nothing special. Like Leon, perfect fucking Leon with the effortless hair and face and everything, was nothing special. Chris gaped at the lean body before his eyes, the flat stomach and toned muscles, strong thighs and broad shoulders with a collar bone like a knife. Chris’s mouth watered and Leon just crawled back onto the bed and looked at Chris expectantly. “What are you waiting for?”

“Excuse me if I want some time to look,” Chris murmured, reaching out, needy, wanting his hands on Leon right fucking now. “God, Leon, are you even real?”

Leon frowned and looked down at himself like he didn’t know what Chris was making a big deal over. “If anything, I should keep my clothes on,” Leon said. “I’m a fucking stick compared to you.”

Chris squinted up at Leon, unsure if he was being serious. “I don’t have a fork to throw at you.”

Leon choked on a laugh and ducked his head to hide his face. Chris wasn’t going to have that. He took Leon’s jaw, mindful of the bruise, and pulled the man in, kissing him sweetly. Leon melted into his touch and leaned into Chris, fumbling back into his lap like he needed to be closer. Leon’s arms went around his neck and the man was clinging to him again. Chris had never thought Leon would be so touchy, even in sex, but he loved it. “Spread your legs,” he told Leon softly, their mouths still working together like Leon was loathe to separate. “Trust me.”

“Don’t even have to fucking ask,” Leon told him with a snort, moving in Chris’s lap to have his knees planted on the mattress on either side of Chris’s thighs. His cock bobbed enticingly between his legs and Chris wished he could get his mouth on Leon and maybe teach him a thing or two about sucking someone off, but that would have to wait. Leon was watching him with an air of confidence that did little to hide the nervous vulnerability Chris could feel in the hands gripping his shoulders, tense and ready for anything. Years of fighting had long ago taught Chris how to read the way a soldier stood. Leon was putting on a brave front. Chris was going to reward him.

“Don’t tense up,” he warned, slipping his slick hand between Leon’s head, ignoring the heat he could feel emanating from Leon’s erection and telling himself he’d get to have his fun later. “It’s going to feel weird if you’ve never—”

“Do it, Redfield.”

Chris smiled against Leon’s lips and brushed his fingers along Leon’s inner thighs, getting him used to the foreign touch before trailing up and pressing against Leon’s entrance, not pushing inside, only giving light pressure and a taste of what would happen. Leon breathed shakily into their kiss, but gave Chris a firm nod. Chris put his free hand behind Leon’s neck to keep their foreheads together, gazing intently into Leon’s eyes to make sure he would catch the first sign of pain if it happened, and then pushed.

Leon’s body gave easily, Leon once again proving himself to be a damn natural at just about everything. Chris remembered hearing about how Leon had crash landed a plane and survived. This man could do fucking anything and Chris couldn’t believe how lucky he was to be the first one to touch him like this. “Breathe deep,” Chris whispered as he let Leon adjust, knowing his own fingers were wider than the average. Leon nodded and shut his eyes, rolling his hips down onto Chris’s finger like he was testing himself. Chris grinned and kissed the corner of Leon’s mouth. “Easy, Leon,” he soothed. “I’ve got you.” Chris began to move the single digit in and out, testing for himself, feeling how tight Leon was around this one intrusion and knowing that he would feel like fucking heaven once Chris got inside of him. Chris let Leon adjust to the single finger for a few seconds before the roll of Leon’s hips became impatient.

“I’m not made of glass,” Leon huffed. “I’ve been fucking shot, you think I can’t take this?”

“I’d rather it not hurt at all,” Chris told him even as he slowly worked in a second finger along the other. Leon’s brow furrowed at the added stretch, but he didn’t complain and didn’t stop rolling down, making himself accommodate. “Jesus, Leon,” Chris breathed. “We have all the time in the world.”

“I want you.”

Leon’s words hit Chris hard in the chest, the simple utterance explaining everything in Leon’s desperate movement. He couldn’t do anything for the emotions strangling him as he forced himself to maintain the eye contact and let Leon see the way Leon made Chris feel, in the same way Leon couldn’t hide from Chris behind his hair when they were so close. “I’ve got you,” Chris assured him gently, reminding himself of everything Leon had been through in the past week. “I’ve got you. Just let me— take care of you.”

Leon grimaced, but nodded and sunk down on Chris’s fingers again, sighing softly in a way that made Chris hope he was starting to enjoy it. “Another,” Leon beckoned. “I can take it.”

Chris couldn’t help it— he kissed Leon again as he pressed the third finger inside, felt the gasp Leon couldn’t keep down. He pumped the fingers slowly and oh so fucking carefully, feeling Leon’s body relax and open up around him, purposeful effort on Leon’s part. Chris was impressed, knowing he hadn’t been this adaptable the first time someone had penetrated him. Chris continued to kiss Leon, gentle little pecks meant to distract while his fingers stretched the other man wider, knowing it wouldn’t be enough no matter the effort he put in. Leon shuddered around him and let out a noise that Chris didn’t understand.

“Not to be a bitch,” Leon grunted. “But is this it?”

Chris blinked, thinking for a moment, before he realized that he’d been neglecting one of the best parts of being fucked. He grinned toothily, a little embarrassed that he’d forgotten. Chris put more purpose into the thrusts of his fingers, reaching further, searching, gaining speed and making his movements less clinical. Chris fucked Leon deeper and watched closely, cataloguing the way Leon began to relax and even sink into the touch beyond just forcing himself to relax. Leon began to enjoy it, the tiniest noises of pleasure slipping out between breaths, his cock beginning to leak between their bodies. Chris smiled and kissed him again and then crooked his fingers, brushing that one spot.

Leon froze in his arms. For a second, Chris was worried, until he heard Leon’s voice, tiny and almost shy— “Do that again.” Chris obliged happily, pressing more insistently into the bundle of nerves, feeling Leon shake. “Again,” Leon whispered. Chris would do anything Leon asked of him while Leon looked like this, eyes dark and pupils blown. Chris pressed harder, rubbing insistently, watching Leon’s gaze glaze over with pleasure.

“That more to your liking?” Chris asked with a snarky brow raised, grinning wider when Leon couldn’t respond with words, only a long moan. Leon’s hips were working back down onto Chris’s fingers, trying to get him to hit the spot again and hit harder, but Chris pulled his fingers back and away, spreading carefully, finding the give of Leon’s body even more willing with the taste of what was to come. “I’ve got you, Leon,” Chris assured him even as Leon became more desperate, seeking out the touch for more, whimpering when he couldn’t get what he wanted. Chris bushed the hair from Leon’s eyes and felt a thrill lace through him at the pleading look Leon gave him through the haze of pleasure.

“You’re so gorgeous,” Chris murmured, fucking Leon with short thrusts of his hand and nothing else, taunting Leon in brushing close to those nerves, but not enough to give Leon what he needed. Leon shook above him, lost in the sensations. Chris couldn’t stop himself from stealing another hungry kiss, delighted when Leon could barely reciprocate, too caught up in the foreign feelings. “Absolutely beautiful,” Chris murmured, never wanting to look away. “You think you’re ready?”

“Jesus fuck,” Leon gasped, struggling to keep his focus. Chris reveled in the dazed look that overtook Leon’s face every time he brushed the prostate, loving being able to give Leon something this good. “H-how should I know?”

Leon had a point— this was Chris’s forte and Chris had talked big shit about being in control. But he almost wanted to put this over on Leon, teach the man how to trust his instincts, let him figure out how it should feel so if— and only if— Leon were with anyone else, he’d be able to keep himself safe. The realization of his motives had a wave of something clenching in Chris’s chest and he bent forward to nip and suck at the column of Leon’s neck. “You’re doing so well,” he told Leon, ignoring his own need for the moment just to make sure Leon was able to take care of himself. “But this is important. If you’re with someone and they move too fast, if they don’t take their time making sure you’re ready, you could—”

He was cut off by the cuff of a hand smacking his shoulder blade. Chris looked up and saw Leon glaring down at him, or at least trying to. Chris was still slowly fucking him with his fingers and every push in had Leon’s glare melting away. “There’s not gonna be a-anyone else,” Leon got out with effort. “Am I ready or not?”

Chris pushed past the stunned feeling of being told Leon didn’t intend to ever be with another man and focused on what was in front of him. He spread his fingers casually again, watching Leon arch into his chest. “Does that hurt?”

“No,” Leon choked out, rolling down onto Chris’s hand. “Maybe— fuck, I-I want—” Leon cut himself off with a whine, looking almost confused, trying to sort around what he was feeling versus what he was feeling. “More,” Leon finally settled on. “Want more.”

Chris couldn’t help the stupid, love struck grin that pulled at his lips. His cock was angry and begging for anything between his legs, and Chris finally let himself anticipate what he’d brought Leon here to do. “Get on the bed,” he told him softly, carefully pulling his fingers from Leon, which Leon seemed to dislike with the way he scowled a little and his hips moved down, searching for the missing pleasure. “Come on, Leon, don’t you trust me?”

“You’re way too careful,” Leon griped as he pull away from Chris and moved down the bed on shaking legs, still off kilter from what Chris had been doing before.

“Hands and knees,” Chris said as he took the lube and slicked up his cock, wincing at the touch of the cool liquid to the oversensitive skin. He looked up in time to watch Leon’s back stiffen. “Something wrong?”

Leon kept his face hidden. “What if I want to see you?”

Chris fell a little more in love and kept himself from making a ridiculous coo at how adorable Leon could be. He reached out and splayed his wide hand over the small of Leon’s back, digging in blunt nails to drag down Leon’s skin. Leon arched into the touch and Chris grinned wider. “It’ll be easier this way,” he told Leon, wishing he could give the other man what he wanted. “You have to be a little bendy if you’re on your back. This will be the most comfortable for your first time.”

Leon glared daggers at Chris from over his shoulder, dropping on his back onto the mattress, and then grabbed his own ankle, bringing his leg up and hooking his foot behind his own leg.

Chris gaped.

“I can do the other one too,” Leon told him with his entire fucking leg behind his fucking head, still somehow looking graceful and simultaneously deadly with those sharp green eyes digging into Chris, daring him to underestimate him again. Jesus christ, and with his leg up like this, sinewed thigh stretched and taut, his stretched hole glistening below. Well, Chris was only human.

“You’re fucking awful,” Chris said before he pushed Leon back against the headboard, that leg falling down between them, Chris settling between Leon’s knees. “Is there anything you can’t do?” he asked as he attacked Leon’s mouth, feeling out of his mind. Leon laughed between them, breathless and haughty, those flexible legs coming up to wrap around Chris’s waist and tease the swell of his ass on Chris’s weeping cock.

“Leon, you’re gonna kill me,” Chris groaned as he loomed over the other man, planting his hands on either side of Leon’s head, above his shoulders. Leon bent easily between them, bringing one of his knees up to his ears, knowing how to entice like it was instinct. Chris couldn’t look away from the pretty picture Leon made, rumpled with foreplay and effortlessly perfect. Chris hooked that leg over his shoulder, marveled at how Leon easily took the bend, and wondered how he had gotten so lucky. He carefully positioned the head of his cock against Leon’s entrance, watching the other man again, looking for any sign that he was remembering— that piece of shit. But there was nothing, none of that fear, none of the memories. Only Leon watching Chris and then slowly growing impatient with the pace. “Are you ready?” Chris asked one final time, keeping his voice low between them. Leon blushed from something, Chris couldn’t name what, but it looked good on him, just like everything else.

“Yeah,” Leon said, his voice cracking at the end before he nodded. “I’m good. Just—” Leon squirmed a little, lips pursed. “D-do you want me to beg or something?”

Chris had to reached down and grab himself at the base, staving off a sudden wave of overwhelming pleasure at the very suggestion. Jesus, this wasn’t going to last long. “As appealing as the idea is, I think you’d kill me.” Then he teased the head of his cock, pressing against that heat but only barely, wanting to give Leon ample time to say he wasn’t okay with it. “I’ll go slow,” he told Leon. “Tell me if it’s too much.”

Several things happened at once— Leon huffed, rolled his eyes, lifted his hips a little, and then used the leg around Chris’s waist to snap the man’s hips forward, burying four inches inside Leon without warning. Leon cried out sharply and winced and twisted his hands in the sheets and Chris fucking hate himself even though it wasn’t his fault, but then Leon fumbled out a laugh, rolled his hips again, and said, “like a bandaid.”

“Are you fucking—” Leon’s legs tugged Chris in again and Chris choked on his words as he sunk deeper into that tight heat, unable to fight back because moving at all would be the end of him.

Leon felt— Leon felt like nothing else Chris had ever experienced. It was like everything Chris was had zeroed in on Leon’s body around him, his pulse thrumming hard in his veins, throbbing in time with the pleasure that came simply from being inside the other man. Leon tensed around him and Chris whined deep in his throat, shutting his eyes because if he even so much as looked at Leon, he’d be gone. Leon kept moving, kept adjusting, kept adapting, and Chris was about to implode. He finally whimpered pathetically and took Leon by the hips, holding the man still. There was a pause, then a soft chuckle, and then hands on his face, holding him. Chris took another moment, breathing carefully through his nose as the throbbing began to ease, that heat in his belly pooling away as control was regained. Then Chris opened his eyes and saw Leon was smiling up at him, caressing Chris’s face and patiently waiting.

“God, Chris,” Leon said. “You’re fucking beautiful.”

And that—

What?
Chris— wasn’t used to that. Wasn’t used to being told those sorts of things, wasn’t used to being the one to get that kind of attention. Even if he weren’t the one on top, Chris didn’t receive that kind of affection because no one ever really looked at him and thought he needed to hear it. He was pretty sure the only person to ever pay him a real compliment was his fucking mother of all traumatic things, so hearing Leon say something like that when Leon was beneath him, Leon was the one this was happening for, Leon was the one who deserved the words and attention, Chris just—

Leon groaned softly and his leg tightened, pulling Chris even deeper, forcing a gasp from them both. “God,” Leon breathed, still holding Chris’s face. “God, Chris, I never thought— Jesus, is it always this good?”

Chris had no idea if it was, he was still floored from how easily Leon had said Chris was beautiful. Who the fuck just said that shit? What was Chris supposed to do? He felt shaky and out of his depth. He breathed and blinked rapidly, feeling overwhelmed. Leon’s hands holding his face felt like a shield protecting him from whatever else there was beyond him. Chris realized suddenly why this was so fucking different— he realized he’d never been with a man that he actually felt he loved.

Chris surged down and kissed Leon hard, finally feeling back in command and acting the part. His grip on Leon’s hips tightened and he pulled out before sliding back in carefully, wanting to make sure Leon hadn’t pushed himself past a breaking point in his haste. Leon sighed softly and tilted his head back into the pillow, hair splaying out around him like a halo. He met Chris’s next thrust, a fucking natural at this just like everything. “You can go harder,” Leon told him lowly, still holding Chris’s face in his hands, still looking up at him with this unending expanse of trust that shook Chris to his core. “I can take it,” Leon promised. “I can take you. I want— more.”

Chris had to shut his eyes again. “We need a safe word.”

Leon snorted a laugh beneath him and Chris felt it around his cock. “You’re not that big, Redfield.”

Chris opened his eyes so he could surge forward and kiss Leon. “We need a safe word.”

Leon hummed against his lips. “Raccoon.”

“Still think it’s morbid.”

“You’ll stop dead in your tracks if I say it, and you know it.”

Chris couldn’t help but grin against Leon, loving the playful delight he saw in those green eyes. “You’re pretty cocky for a guy with a cock up his ass,” he teased. When Leon raised a brow, Chris realized that his pun made more sense for the opposite. “Shut up,” he said before snapping his hips forward, lurching Leon up the mattress and wiping that smug expression clean. Chris’s grin sharpened as he finally regained the upper hand, setting a slow, punishing pace that was offset by how hard he fucked into Leon, Leon being pushed up the mattress with every push in. Hands left Chris’s face to brace against the headboard, broken noises forced from Leon’s swollen lips with each thrust. It was Chris’s turn to be entranced, leaning over Leon and resting their foreheads together as he fucked him.

“You’re gorgeous,” Chris told him as he quickened, Leon’s face falling into an expression of dazed ecstasy like he didn’t even understand how good it felt but loved it. Chris pressed bruises into Leon’s hips, Leon bouncing up the bed, the whimpers turning into moans. Chris weaved his fingers through Leon’s hair and held fast, watching Leon succumb to the pleasure, ignoring the welling hunger in his own chest because he wanted— needed— to make Leon cum first.

The slap of flesh on flesh had Chris close again, his thighs trembling with the effort of keeping a now brutal pace. Leon writhed beneath him and Chris took Leon’s other leg from his waist to hook it over his shoulder, leaning forward and bending Leon in half. The change of angle pushed Chris deeper and Leon cried out brokenly as Chris rammed into that spot over and over with bruising force.

Leon shuddered around him, arching into his thrusts, bowing off the bed and tightening, showing all the signs of getting closer and closer to that peak. He was gasping for breath and looking up at Chris, begging with his eyes even though he couldn’t get out the words, only desperate noises and shouts when Chris hit the bundle of nerves dead on and without mercy. Leon’s walls were vicelike around Chris’s cock, and Chris was so close too, his balls drawing up, his body telling him he wasn’t going to last long. But Chris— Chris fucking needed to see Leon cum first. He’d spent ages thinking about it, wondering what it looked like, how it felt, the sounds Leon would make. Chris needed to see it.

He snaked his hand between their bodies to where Leon’s cock was trapped against his stomach. Chris wrapped his fingers around the aching shaft and swallowed the noise Leon made at finally being touched, the ruined moan that sent fire into Chris’s veins. It only took three quick tugs before Leon’s body was spasming around him and the man went taut, frozen, arched off the mattress and gasping into Chris’s lungs. It seemed to go on forever, Leon’s orgasm ripping everything from him, eyes sliding into the back of his head. It kept Leon suspended in nothing for ages until the man suddenly slumped back onto the bed with a broken noise, wrecked. Chris kissed Leon and felt something possessive race through him as Leon proved to be too out of it to kiss back, moving helplessly with Chris’s still bruising thrusts.

It was too much. Chris pulled away from the kiss to hide in Leon’s neck, smothering his shout of relief as he came inside the other man, filling him and making Leon his. His hips canted forward uncontrollably and his vision whited out, the only thing in his mind being Leon and the way he tasted and felt around him. It sent Chris’s heartbeat haywire, the sound pounding in his ears, before it finally ended and Chris went boneless atop Leon, unable to hold himself up. Leon barely even made a noise, accepting the weight of Chris atop him without complaint. Then tired, loose arms wrapped around Chris’s neck and he felt the warmth of wet lips on his temple, Leon whispering encouraging little nothings into his ear, holding Chris close as he came down.

Chris was struck with that wave of possessiveness again and was drowned in the fact that he didn’t deserve someone like Leon S. Kennedy.

They laid together a long moment, Leon beginning to rub his thumbs into the muscles of Chris’s neck, somehow being the one to to give the comfort. Chris wasn’t going to argue it. Leon’s touch was soothing and quelling the trembles of the lingering aftermath, the throbs that had his body tensing and forcing him to relax in waves. After they both took their moments, Chris finally tried to lift himself up on weak arms. He was pretty sure he hadn’t cum like that in years. He pulled out of Leon carefully, feeling a surge of lust pierce him at the sight of his seed leaking for Leon’s body, and then carefully lowered Leon’s legs back to the bed, hoping he hadn’t bent Leon too far.

“I don’t know about you,” Leon said with a gravelly voice, hoarse from shouting. “But that was kinda the best sex I’ve ever had.”

Laughter burst from Chris before he could contain it and he looked down at Leon with a swell of affection. Leon sat up, grunting a little with the effort, and then ran a hand through his fucked up hair. “I’m gonna be so sore,” Leon said. “Is this like alcohol? If I drink before I can have the hangover, then there’s no hangover. Is sex the same? If we just fuck again, will it skip the soreness?”

“You have the worst pillow talk,” Chris told him.

“You love me,” Leon shot back.

“I do,” Chris replied. “I really fucking do.” The way Leon smiled when Chris told him felt so good at it hurt. Chris wanted to say more, wanted to declare it louder, when his doorbell rang. Alarm seized him and he reached for the gun on the nightstand, but Leon was faster. Leon stood quickly from the bed and grabbed his jeans from the floor, yanking them on with grace and ignoring the mess of his release still on his stomach, and then pulling on Chris’s hoodie, tucking the Samurai Edge into the back of his pants and being unreasonably sexy for a man that had been shoved abruptly from a post-sex-haze into a killing state.

“Hold on,” he ordered. “I’ll be back.”

“Safe word’s raccoon,” Chris said dumbly. Leon nodded and left the bedroom. Chris quickly got dressed, ignoring the ache in his own body. He and Leon were used to going from zero to one hundred in seconds, it was the way their lives worked, but that didn’t mean Chris liked having the mood ruined. He heard the sound of the front door opening followed by Leon’s voice and then the voice of a stranger. Chris couldn’t make out the words and started to move quietly to the bathroom, knowing he had another gun in here. He pulled the Glock from the lowest drawer beneath the sink and loaded it as silently as possible, alert for anything.

The voices stopped. The door was shut. Chris could suddenly smell cheese and meat.

Leon came into the bedroom with a sheepish expression and a pizza box in his hands. “When I originally came here, I’d thought there would be a lot more arguing,” he admitted. “So I had ordered this, thinking it would be best if I fed you first.”

“You,” Chris said, pointing sharply at Leon. “I fucking love you.”

Leon’s smile became relieved and he chuckled beneath his breath. “You care where we eat this?”

“I’m not leaving the bed again.”

Leon and Chris crawled onto the bed together and as Leon opened the pizza box— fucking meat lovers with extra mushrooms, Chris wondered if it was too early to consider marriage— Chris grabbed the remote to turn on the TV that was against the wall across from the bed. He flicked it to a random movie channel and turned down the volume, letting the drone of an action thriller fill the space as Leon began to eat ravenously. “Sex makes me hungry,” Leon told him. “Good sex makes me starved.”

“You’re gonna be putting on a lot of weight, then, because I’m pretty sure I’m gonna be spending the next half of my entire life in bed with you.”

Leon smirked. “Is that a promise?”

“Only if you can promise me that you’ll be here for it.”

Chris watched the mirth die in Leon, but it’d had to be said. Leon’s attempted suicide was still there, still a memory, still something Chris doubted he’d ever be able to forget. The way Leon had looked, staring up at his daughter and intended to be buried beside her— it would haunt him forever because Chris had known that he couldn’t blame Leon for feeling as defeated as he had. Any lesser man would have put a bullet in his head right then and there. “I’m not going to condemn you,” Chris told Leon softly as he took a slice and satisfied a secondary hunger compared to what he felt for the other man. “I can’t even imagine how it had to feel. But I can’t pretend it didn’t happen and I can’t pretend I don’t hate that it happened at all.”

Leon grimaced and looked away. Chris sighed and snuck his foot out, kicking Leon’s knee gently. They were both sitting crisscrossed atop the messy sheets and since their clothes were already dirty from not having cleaned off from the fantastic sex, Chris didn’t see much of a point in trying to keep from getting any dirtier. If anything, it gave Chris an excuse to drag Leon into the shower with him later.

“I’m not going to get you in trouble,” Chris swore. “I didn’t say a word of what happened. I’m not going to lynch you for it. I don’t have the slightest idea how bad it had to feel. I’m just going to ask you to never make the same mistake again.”

“I don’t know if I can promise that,” Leon admitted in a vulnerable whisper. The words pushed the air from Chris’s lungs and he tried to stay calm, thinking of what he could say when Leon beat him to the punch. “If I lose you, I don’t think there’s any coming back from that.”

That—

Chris hadn’t considered that.

What if Leon fell in battle? The whole reason this had started was because Chris hadn’t been able to face a reality that had Leon dead. Chris was in the same boat, he’d been steadfast against it in every way, and that was pretty much the same thing, wasn’t it? What would Chris have done if Leon died? How badly would his life have become when he was suddenly afraid of falling and knowing the world would crumble with him? The weight of the burden would have crushed Chris. He— he would have ended up like Leon had with Sherry.

And that was before Chris had realized he was in love with Leon.

“I don’t think I can do this if I lose you too,” Leon continued, his voice shaking at the edge. “Maybe years ago I could have told myself it was possible, but not anymore. There’s just been so much. I’ve lost so much. And if I lose you, then that’s it.” Leon shrugged, staring into his lap, the slice of pizza in his hand ignored. “I don’t know. I just don’t think I’d keep going. Not because I would want to die— because I’d forget to keep myself alive.”

Chris could barely breathe. “Don’t think about that,” he got out.

“Would you be able to keep going?” Leon asked. “If I die?”

How could—

“I can’t think about it,” Chris confessed in a whisper. “I just can’t.”

He’d thought Leon would be offended— he was wrong. Leon smiled like his heart was breaking for Chris. “I guess that’s the difference between you and me,” he told Chris. “You can’t afford to think about it, and I— I can’t stop.” Leon looked up and Chris was almost sure there were tears in his eyes. “Look at us,” Leon murmured. “Two men trying to fight off the inevitable. It’s exhausting, and yet— All of a sudden, knowing now that I have you… I feel years younger again.”

That was the last thing Chris had expected to hear and more of a relief than he could describe.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen,” Leon said. “I should just stop worrying.”

“You always did say you didn’t make plans that far ahead,” Chris said.

“I would say that because I always thought I’d be dead within the week,” Leon explained. “Now, though. Now I’m going to make sure I stick around.” Leon smiled at him again, though this time it hurt less to see. “What can I say, Chris? You need me— your stealth is shit. And someone has to stick around to make sure you don’t go full martyr.”

Chris couldn’t stop from smiling back. “Think you can keep me from destroying myself to save the world?” he teased.

“I plan on it,” Leon replied. “And look— this doesn’t change anything.” The air became somber, but Leon kept that brave smile. “I’m not okay. I still hear Sherry’s voice in my head and I see her eyes in my sleep. But I’ll be damned before I let her down again and give up.” He sat back with a sigh and took a bite of the pizza. “Now if only I could get my fucking life together, then she’d really be happy with me.”

“O’Brian is absolutely willing to bring you into the BSAA if DSO is dumb enough to let you go,” Chris told him. “This place is mine and Claire’s, but honestly we’re rarely ever in Virginia, so depending on what happens, you can stay here until you figure out the shit with your place. And you’re my boyfriend now.” At Leon’s arched brow, Chris winked. “No arguments accepted.”

“You really talked to your boss about picking up a sad sack of an alcoholic?”

Chris picked off a bit of sausage from his pizza and flicked it at Leon’s face. “I’m serious,” he said. “This whole shitty self esteem thing? We gotta work on that.”

“Are you saying I’m not an alcoholic?” Leon asked as he grumbled and got the oily meat from his hair.

“I’m not saying you’re perfect,” Chris replied. “But I am saying you’re too important to be tossed aside. And if you’re BSAA, then that means I can keep an eye on you.” Chris shrugged and picked up a second slice after having finished his first. “Best of both worlds, if you ask me. And they don’t have a rule against fraternization because of the shit we deal with, so I can hold your hand as much as I want and no one can give us shit.”

At Leon’s pervasive silence, Chris looked up and saw the other man was staring at him in some sort of awe. “You okay?” he asked gently.

“You really do want me.”

When Chris frowned, Leon chuckled. And finally— finally— those green eyes lost that last bit of ache to them and Leon looked genuinely happy again. “Sorry,” Leon said as he continued to laugh gently, the bed shaking with the sound. “I just never really expected things to get better, and yet here I am— this one impossible dream coming true.”

Chris didn’t care that they were both a little disgusting and now greasy with pizza— he reached across the bed and took Leon by the back of his neck, pulling the man in for a sharp kiss and swallowing the gorgeous laughter. Leon kissed him back, then shove greasy fingers into Chris’s face to push him away, complaining about his hair or something else ridiculous. Chris stared at the other man and said, “I love you.”

Leon grinned back even wider and said, “I love you too.”

Chris couldn’t stop smiling and he knew he would burn down the world for this man and was happy to do it. He was even more overjoyed to realize that Leon would do the same. All that was left was for Chris to redefine wanting versus needing now that they had become one and the same in the face of keeping Leon at his side.