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When Peter first met Deadpool he understood why the Avengers, Tony in particular, wanted him to stay away from the mercenary.
The man was clearly unstable, violent, and crude. And he couldn’t really repute it because the first interaction him and Deadpool had ever had was when Deadpool kicked him off a bridge.
But then Deadpool had told Peter his name, had bought him Mexican and let him play Overwatch on his big TV, and could match his humor word for word. And it was nice, to have someone watch his back and fight alongside him effortlessly. Peter’s never really had that. Sure, he’s teamed up with the Avengers, but that’s when the world was ending or aliens had decided to park illegally over Manhattan.
Never in normal, everyday life circumstances, did Peter have an ally to watch his six.
And then Peter had met Ellie, and he’d seen how tight Wade hugged her, how much he cherished and adored her, and Peter felt the all too familiar feelings of butterflies in his chest and–
Shit.
Deadpool is a pretty simple guy.
The Boxes certainly make him seem more complicated than he is, but when it comes down to it he’s about the easiest going person you’ll ever encounter. Want to rob a bank? No problem. Rescue Sally the polar bear from her enclosure at the zoo and relocate her to Antarctica? He’ll be ready in five. Graciously accept his own personal hero who just revealed his true identity to him?
Flat lined.
And Wade never flat lines.
Only when he dies, and even then he’s still kicking it with Death until his body stitches itself back together.
Look, Deadpool gets it. He knows he’s unstable, unhinged, annoying, loud, depressing, and all around a pain in everyone’s ass. Which is why it’s so unbelievable to him that Spider-Man, Peter fucking Parker, would want anything to do with him, much less place all his trust in him.
Wade thinks Peter is fucking naive.
But it’s what makes him special. Deadpool will do anything to protect that.
Which is why, when Spider-Man had taken off his mask, and Deadpool had been met with familiar brown eyes and brown hair and light skin, he walked right off the building’s ledge and hoped Webs wouldn’t catch him.
He did, of course.
Peter always catches him, nowadays.
“Are you sick?” Ellie asks him one sunny afternoon, and Wade blinks up at her from his own personal pity party in her foster parent’s backyard.
“How’d you know?” he sighs, letting out a soft “oof” as she plops herself onto his right arm and collapses across his chest dramatically.
It’s obvious she’s his daughter, but it had still taken him seven years to be able to accept it. She turns to look at him, large eyes blinking in suspicion.
Too smart for her own good.
“You haven’t said anything in exactly six minutes,” Ellie tells him, pointing to her matching hello kitty watch that broke about two weeks ago, “you talk more than I do.”
“In my defense it’s summer,” Wade tells her just to see her nose wrinkle.
Before Ellie, he never thought he’d feel love like this: all encompassing, selfless, total adoration. It’s the kind of love that makes his chest hot; makes his eyes prick, because Ellie is just so beautiful and real and Wade had somehow not fucked her up.
Yet.
“It’s been summer,” she tells him seriously, “and you said you’d take me to the zoo.”
“I did?”
“Yes. Two weeks ago. And then we went roller-skating instead and my watch broke and you said you’d buy me a new one but then you forgot and bought me an iPad instead and–”
“Dang, child, you’re a steel trap,” Wade hums, prideful, and taps his finger against Ellie’s forehead, “what don’t you remember?”
“You not talking,” she replies easily and Wade laughs, the warm feeling in his chest lighting him up so much he kind of forgets why he was moping in the first place.
“Are you really sick?” Ellie asks him, suddenly worried, and Wade sits up, balancing her so she doesn’t topple over with the movement.
“No,” he tells her seriously, because one of his biggest weaknesses is Ellie crying and he swore he’d only ever make her smile, “just thinking about that zoo.”
She lights up.
“So we’re going?” she asks.
“Obviously,” Wade tells her, fixing her ponytail, “first, snacks. Then, captured animals in too small spaces.”
Ellie’s face scrunches up.
“They’re happy,” she argues, “not sad.”
“Sure,” Wade agrees easily, and presses a masked kiss to her cheek, “now up before I lose all the energy I have left and we have to go get ice-cream to revitalize me.”
“We’re getting ice-cream??”
Of course they’re getting ice cream.
Wade likes to pretend he has the upper hand around Ellie but in reality he’s wrapped so tightly around her pinky it’s a wonder he’s still able to afford rent.
It’s summer, and it’s hot, and leather and heat never work well together. Chafing nipples? The fucking worst. So Wade’s wearing a t-shit and a thin hoodie, exercise joggers and his pink crocs as they stand in line for ice cream.
It’s hot, and Ellie looks hot, and this line is taking for-fucking-ever–
“Go wait for me by that overfed peacock,” Wade whispers, pointing at said bird by the edge of the zoo’s playground, “I’ll speed this line up.”
Ellie nods, and does as she’s told, and all Wade needs to do is use his gun to shove people out of his way and before he knows it he has an armful of ice-cream and a happy looking Ellie and that’s all he wanted from the day, anyway.
Then sun is low in the sky, painting it a nice pink and red, and Ellie and Wade are some of the only people chilling by the lion den.
Ellie’s sitting happily on Wade’s shoulders eating fries, and she’s dropped about all her ketchup on Wade’s hood, but he doesn’t care, her small ankles held firmly in his hands.
“He looks sleepy,” Ellie tells him, referring to the male lion who’s letting out a massive yawn.
“He sure does,” Wade agrees, watching the animals with a detached sense of unease.
He doesn’t like the zoo. He doesn’t like cages or enclosures or anything related to entrapment. He wonders if it’d be possible to break the lion out without Ellie looking–
“Wade?”
Oh.
God fucking shit damn fuck–
Wade turns.
Spider-Man–Peter– is standing a few feet away, an amused smile on his face, brown eyes soft in the setting sun.
He’s wearing a fitted red shirt and light slim jeans that honestly should be illegal on him. If Wade were any less of a trained killer he’d probably drop Ellie in surprise and run away. That being said, he’d known someone was approaching, he just didn’t expect it to be the guy he’s been halfway in love with for two years looking like a whole fucking meal.
“Uh,” he says, eloquently.
Ellie drops another dollop of ketchup on his head.
At least he’s looking great.
“Hi,” Ellie says for him, “who are you?”
Wade really hopes Peter doesn’t remind Ellie that they’ve met before, because last time Peter had seen his kid she’d told him that Wade was in love with him and that Captain America couldn’t clean his web-shooters.
“I’m Peter,” Spider-man tells her, voice softening and oh no, if Peter is good with kids Wade’s going to jump into this lion pit right the fuck now–
“Oooh,” Ellie drawls and Wade can hear the smile in her voice, “I know who you are.”
God. Fucking. Dammit.
Wade often forgets that he talks a lot. And in talking a lot he’s sure he’s been mentioning Peter more and more, and Ellie might not be able to connect the dots to Peter being Spider-Man but she certainly knows that Wade has been ogling a Peter recently–
“I agree, dad, he does have dreamy eyes,” Ellie says, patting Wade’s cheek with an oil slick hand, “and nice legs. You were right on this one.”
Wade feels like his face is going to burn off, he’s blushing so hard. He clears his throat, awkward, and tries to avoid Peter’s gaze.
“So you like animals?” he asks, brokenly, and Peter’s smile grows wider, if possible.
“Sure do. I’m here with my Aunt,” he tells Wade gently, pointing to an older woman buying smoothies behind them, “she loves the polar bears. And the butterfly exhibit.”
“There are butterflies?” Ellie exclaims, bending over Wade’s head so that she’s staring him in the eyes, “Why didn’t you take me to the butterflies?”
“’Cause you wanted to see the cheetahs eat four lunches, you heathen,” Wade tells her, not an ounce of frustration in his voice, because yeah, he’s beyond embarrassed and caught off guard, but Ellie has the power to make all of that go away just by looking at him, “also we were betting to see which lion would fall asleep first. And I was winning.”
“No you weren’t,” Ellie argues before sitting up again and almost dislodging herself from Wade’s broad shoulders, “have you already seen the butterflies?”
Peter shakes his head, crossing his arms and leaning against the stone barrier, the perfect picture of ease and relaxation, and Wade hasn’t seen those jeans on him before…
“Nope,” Peter says, eyes flicking to Wade’s, “we were on our way over. Do you want to join us?”
Wade’s heart kind of stops.
Flat lined.
Peter looks so comfortable, and so hot, and so beautiful in the setting sun, and Wade’s never really seen him beyond their patrols and late night take-out that this doesn’t feel real.
Ellie smacks him in the nose.
“Ow! I got you ice-cream and fries and one of those silly, drinking hats and this is how you repay me?” he asks his daughter who just smacks him again.
“You were zoning out,” she tells him, “it was kind of creepy.”
Wade’s certain his face is going to melt.
“I don’t want to interrupt your time together,” Peter says quickly, looking contrite, “you don’t have to join us if you don’t want to, I just thought–”
“No!” Wade exclaims and its so loud passerby’s stop and look, “No, I mean, yes, we’d love to join you. Join, uh, for the butterflies. That being said, are the butterflies still awake? It’s getting late, do insects have a bedtime? Speaking of insects have you seen the spiders yet? ‘Cause no offense Pete, but they’re kind of really creepy–”
Peter snorts, a smile making his expression even softer, and the words kind of get tangled in Wade’s throat and he cuts himself off with a choking sound, at a loss.
“Why are you acting weird?” Ellie asks him and fortunately Wade doesn’t have to answer that when the older woman, Peter’s Aunt, Wade assumes, approaches.
“So this is where you wandered off to,” the woman tells Peter with a coy look before turning her attention to Wade and Ellie, “are you friends of Peter’s?”
Wade doesn’t really know how to answer that. He would probably die if Spider-Man admitted they were friends, but Wade knows not to assume things, especially when it comes to his relationships with other people, let alone supers.
He’s about to open his mouth and talk himself out of this situation but Peter does it for him.
“Yeah,” Peter says easily, and Wade stills, “this is Wade Wilson, and his daughter Ellie.”
Flat lined.
Realization flits over Peter’s Aunt’s expression, and her smile grows wider.
“Oh, this Wade,” she says, but it’s not with the disgust Wade was expecting. If anything, she sounds smug. “I’ve heard a lot about you, Wade.”
Peter flushes. It’s probably the heat.
“And you’re still talking to me?” he asks, surprised, and Peter’s Aunt must take it as a joke instead of him being serious because she laughs good-naturedly.
“Call me May,” she tells him, and waves to Ellie, “it’s nice to meet you.”
“You too,” Ellie says, and wiggles to indicate that she wants Wade to put her down.
He does, carefully, and she passes him the rest of her fries.
“Lets go see the butterflies,” May says and Ellie leads the way even though Wade’s certain she has no idea where she’s going.
“A day at the zoo, huh?” Peter asks, falling into step with Wade and bumping their shoulders companionably together, “I’m gonna be honest I never would’ve expected to see Deadpool at the zoo.”
“What are ya talkin’ about, Pete, I live here,” Wade whispers, eyes on Ellie as asks to try May’s smoothie, “besides the kiddo’s been wanting to see the polar bears for weeks.”
Peter follows Wade’s gaze, and Wade’s never seen him look so soft. He looks really kissable, actually, cheeks slightly pink, hair windswept, and damn, those jeans look like they’re painted on–
Peter snaps in front of his face, exasperated but still amused.
“Ya know, checking out my ass with your daughter and my aunt in front of us isn’t exactly zoo decorum,” Peter says and Wade’s heart really needs to calm down or he’s scared he’s going to die of a heart attack.
“What can I say? You wear jeans like that and people are gonna stare,” Wade shrugs, trying for his usual nonchalance, but it’s a lot harder to pretend Peter isn’t affecting him without his mask.
He’s still getting used to seeing Peter’s face.
“Wow, I don’t know why I was worried,” Peter admits, a sharp grin pulling at his lips, “I thought you’d act different around me after seeing my face. Turns out, you’re the same, if not worse.”
“Worse?” Wade parrots, and then catches on, “Oh, I mean, if you want me to put my hand in your back pocket so we can reenact Sixteen Candles…”
Peter blushes, and Wade’s eighty percent sure it’s not because of the weather.
“Nope, not today, Pool.”
“So there will be a day–”
“Your eight year old daughter is literally three feet in front of us–”
“Well if she’s what you’re concerned about then I can fix that.”
“I’m not sure you’re aware of how ominous that sounds.”
“I meant I’d drop her off with your sweet ol’ Aunt and we can get down to some monkey business by the monkeys.”
Peter laughs, like he’s surprised, and it’s so rewarding to be able to see Peter’s expressions without the spandex in the way. He looks so beautiful when he smiles.
Fuck, Wade’s got it bad.
“I don’t put out on the first date,” Peter says, coy, and Wade can’t tell if he’s joking or not.
“Is this a date?” Wade asks, trying to sound teasing but instead it sounds strangled and slightly panicked.
Peter’s eyes widen and he grasps Wade’s wrists, halting him and ushering his Aunt and Ellie along when they stop to look.
“Whoa, Wade, I was kidding, are you okay?” Peter asks, worried, and Wade isn’t sure what his expression looks like if Peter thought he needed to be pulled aside.
Joking.
Of course Peter is joking.
Why the hell would he want to date Deadpool? Why the hell would he want to be seen with someone like him at all? This whole hour has been a whirlwind and Wade isn’t sure how he’s supposed to process all of it. He’s panicking, he can feel himself panicking, and he doesn’t want to be feeling like this right now.
It’d been such a good day–
“Wade,” Peter whispers, and his hand slides from Wade’s wrist to Wade’s hand, “are you okay? Did I say something wrong? I’m sorry I talk without thinking and I thought you were joking and I kinda panicked, I’m sorry.”
Wade’s shaking his head before Peter’s finished speaking.
“Sorry? You don’t gotta apologize, Pete, of course you were joking. Ignore me. Too many sweets, I think.”
Peter looks skeptical, and Wade can barely focus on that because Peter is still holding his hand and meeting his gaze and Wade isn’t used to all this gentle affirmation and attention.
“So we were both joking,” Peter says, slowly.
Wade swallows.
“Yeah,” he croaks, “yeah I mean, why the hell would you wanna date me?”
A mix of emotions cross Peter’s features so quickly Wade can’t decipher them all but Peter takes a sharp inhale and steps closer, too close for casual. Wade tenses, watching him carefully but it doesn’t look like Peter’s going to hit him.
“I actually thought of asking you out,” Peter says in a rush and his cheeks look as red as Deadpool thinks his are, “but if you were joking then so am I and we can forget about this and go be with our girls.”
Wade blinks.
Then blinks again.
Peter’s still here, still holding his hand. This doesn’t seem like a hallucination.
“Wait,” Wade says carefully, “what if we’re both not joking?”
Peter licks his lips and Wade knows it’s probably a nervous tick but it’s still unreasonably attractive.
“Then maybe we should go out?” Peter says.
“Are you joking right now?”
Peter squares his shoulders, the same motion he does before leaping headfirst into a battle. He meets Wade’s eyes unwaveringly.
“No,” Peter says, “are you?”
“No,” Wade whispers, tilting his head down, “not if you aren't.”
“I’m not,” Peter affirms, standing on his tip toes and their lips brush, gentle, testing, before Peter pulls back to gauge Wade’s reaction.
“Am I dead?” Wade asks and Peter’s nose scrunches eerily similar to Ellie’s, “did you just kiss me in front of the lions?”
A slow smile spreads across Peter’s face.
“Would you prefer a blowjob by the gorillas?”
Heat pulls low, a warmth spreading through his chest as a large smile blossoms. He wraps an arm around Peter’s waist, amazed that he can, that he’s being allowed this. Peter’s hands come up to rest on his shoulders, and Wade marvels at the fact that Peter could crush him with no effort if he wanted.
It’s not the best time to get a boner but Peter doesn’t seem like he minds.
“I’ve kind of liked you for a really long time,” Peter blurts and Wade’s so grateful he isn’t the only one who rambles when he’s nervous, “and I saw you with Ellie today and how good you were with her and I want you to know that this isn’t just a random thing I’ve thought about this a lot but in my imagination I was a lot more smooth and–”
Wade kisses his nose and Peter falls silent, a little stunned.
“You’re really beautiful, you know that?” Wade asks, uncaring of all the children and family’s around as he holds Peter close.
“Are you just saying that because I’m letting you put your hand in my back pocket?” Peter whispers, looking as awed as Wade feels.
“Only a little,” Wade teases and kisses him again.
They all get dinner at one of the zoo’s restaurants, eating burgers and fries and Ellie and Peter work together to make a house out of the sugar packets. Wade’s sure if he smiled any bigger his skin would crack in two.
“He talks about you a lot,” May tells him as Peter lifts Ellie with ease onto his shoulders as they walk, “so much so that I feel like I already know you.”
“Wow,” Wade says, “I…I wish I had a response to that.”
“You don’t need to have one,” May says, and looks at him quizzically before wrapping her arm around his, “now, Wade, tell me a little about yourself.”
“It’s not all good things,” he whispers, because he wants May to like him despite really knowing him.
May is to Peter what Ellie is to him. This is a deal breaker.
May nods, careful and understanding.
“We have time until the fireworks,” she says, “give me the rundown.”
So he does.
And she never lets go of his arm.
Ellie falls asleep draped over Wade’s back at around nine that night.
“It was nice meeting you, finally,” May tells him in the parking lot, “come by next Sunday for dinner.”
Wade’s pretty sure it isn’t a suggestion.
“I sure will,” he promises, adjusting his daughter on his back, “I’ll bring vodka and everything.”
May laughs, pats his shoulder, and tells Peter she’ll meet him by the car.
“So, what’s your plan for later tonight?” Peter asks, reaching forward to smooth a line down Wade’s shirt.
Cheating, because Wade’s hands are kinda full.
“Dropping this little gremlin off, then nothing,” he says, “wanna order take out and make out?”
Peter’s smile is brilliant even in the dim.
“That sounds perfect,” he says.
“Did you guys make out?” Ellie asks, words slurred with sleep as Wade lays her gently in her bed.
“A lady doesn’t kiss and tell,” Wade tells her, pulling the covers up to her chin, “but yes.”
Ellie gives him a groggy high-five and Wade’s not sure if he’s ever had a day as perfect as this.
Peter meets him on their usual roof with so much take out Wade nearly salivates, both at Peter’s strength and the grease he can see soaking through the paper bags.
It’s not awkward like Wade had half expected. It’s like any other time they’ve hung out together after patrols, only this time Wade’s allowed to kiss and touch and tell Spidey he’s made of fireworks.
It’s kinda perfect.
Wade never thought he’d have that. How lucky is he, to have both Ellie and Peter?
“You know,” Peter says, breathless against his lips, “this is technically our second date.”
“Oh, yeah?” Wade asks, hands trailing low, “Can I pass go?”
Peter laughs and it’s candy on Wade’s tongue.
“Collect your $200,” he says and Wade does.