Chapter Text
It was early morning, and the Abbot was in his office, pushing through the never-ending bureaucratic work when a sudden knock on the door made him look up from the documents he was reading.
“Come in?” He said, puzzled. He didn’t have any appointments today and wasn’t expecting anyone.
Priestess peeked through the door shily. “Is this a good time?”
The Abbot blinked at her. “By chance, was there anyone out the door when you came over?” He asked.
“Umm, yes. A guard. And your assistant, I think.”
And the two of them just let her in, without an appointment or any forewarning? Interesting. The little Sister sure had a knack for getting things her way. However, he decided to let it slide just this once. He’d dumped the notebook on her, so the least he could do was hear her out.
“Riiight. Come on in then, take a seat.” He waved her over to a padded armchair beside the desk. “Have some tea, if you want. But watch out, it’s very strong.” He waited for her to settle into the chair, one delicate hand holding a porcelain cup. “So, what brings you here so early?”
“I was… hoping to get a second opinion on something. One of the other healers is insisting that Goblin Slayer should do meditation. It’s… not going so well.”
The Abbot made a sour face at that. “It was one of the elders, am I right?” At the girl’s nod, he elaborated. “It’s a good method, I don’t deny it. However, the elders are overly fond of things that are complicated and take a long time to learn.”
“Is there anything more… short-term that can be done?” She asked.
The Abbot drummed his fingers lightly on the desktop as he thought. “I believe there is.” He pointed one finger up at the ceiling. “Sunlight.”
“Sunlight?” Priestess parroted, completely thrown for a loop.
“That’s right. One should always try to eliminate the obvious problems first, before going for the more complicated ones.” He paused to gather his thoughts, then lectured on. “While treating prisoners of war, we’ve observed that the ones kept in prisons underground and deprived of sunlight for a prolonged time are prone to developing an anxious or pessimistic outlook on life. In addition, the ones that were regularly deprived of sleep were highly likely to develop delusions of various kinds.” He paused again for a sip of the black tea, then concluded. “Once exposure to sunlight and a healthy sleep schedule were restored, over half of the prisoners experienced mild to drastic improvement of all symptoms over the course of a month.”
“Ah, I see.” Priestess nodded. Sadly, Goblin Slayer fit the description with his nighttime activities. So, such a way of life really did have consequences. “That makes a lot of sense. However… he’s going to make things difficult, as always.”
She could imagine how that conversation would go down: “Go play outside in the sun.”- “Without armor? That’s suicide.” – “Then what do you think of all the other people training outside?” – “Insane.”
The Abbot gave her a rueful smile. “We all do what we can and hope for the best.”
The cleric sighed. “There is… another thing that I must tell you.” She looked a little hesitant. “Soon we’ll need to be on our way. Our enemy grows in numbers the longer we let them be.”
The man gave her a long, blank look. He leaned forward onto the desk and steepled his fingers. “I need to be very frank. Your friend has a lot to benefit from a prolonged stay at our temple.”
“He’s not crazy.” Priestess said defensively.
“We don’t use that word here, people get demotivated.” The man countered with a straight face.
“…” After a beat of silence, Priestess sighed again. “I’m not sure I can convince him to stay much longer, but I’ll do my best.”
“Is it the quest that you worry about? I suppose such matters should be discussed with the Guild first.” The Abbot conceded. “As for the matter of the Necromancer, I have some good news. The King is sending the army to aid us. They are on their way now and once they arrive, I will personally lead the search.” He stood up and walked over to the wall, where a large-scale map of the mountains was spread out. Pointing to one of the mountain tops, near the place where the destroyed Highland Village used to be, he went on. “There is a ruined temple of the Old Gods in this location. We believe that his hideout might be there. Monsters who think so highly of themselves usually like a little grandeur, so they tend to pick places of importance.”
Maybe this was for the best, Priestess thought. They did their part to destroy all the goblin nests. This monster was too much for them. For once, they could sit back and leave it to the higher-ups.
And maybe this really was the best place for Goblin Slayer right now, a place where he could finally heal.
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Sometime later, Goblin Slayer found himself outside on the plaza where the soldiers were doing their drills.
At first, they wanted him to stay put, he mused with annoyance. Now they wanted him outside. They should make up their damned minds for once. For some reason, Priestess was absolutely dumbfounded whenever the Abbot got mentioned, as if the Earthmother herself was giving her orders. He’d caught glimpses of the man a few times, draped in those ridiculous turkey feathers from head to toe. That guy was filling her head with strange ideas.
Everything about this place was starting to piss him off. Everyone was up in his business, all day and all night, telling him that whatever he’s been doing with his life is wrong. He’d never thought of his job in terms of ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, rather something that needs to be done. And they were keeping him from doing it. His patience was starting to run thin.
Goblin Slayer watched as one of the soldiers was training with throwing knives against a practice dummy. Or at least, trying to. He was comically bad at it. Knives were flying every which way, some of them failing to pierce the target and bouncing off to the ground. Some of his irritation must have shown on his face, as the soldier soon noticed him and turned to ask:
“What? Got a problem?”
“… You’re very bad at this.” The adventurer informed him.
“Yeah, no shit. I’ve been trying all day, and it really sucks. Think you can do better?” The man held out a knife to him, handle-first.
Goblin Slayer stared at it for a while. “…I’m not allowed near any sharp objects.”
“Heh, aren’t we all.” The other man said with a sardonic chuckle. Around them, other soldiers were running around making laps around the temple, sparring together or doing push-ups. Everyone was doing their best to stay in combat shape, despite whatever ailment had brought them to this place. The knife offered was still there, waiting.
Goblin Slayer reached out and took it, testing its weight. He came before the target – a straw dummy – and eyed it carefully. The distance was less than what he was used to, so he took a few steps back until it felt right. ‘Show off’, the soldier muttered but was ignored. And then, faster than a blink of the eye, the knife was sent flying in a clear ark and its blade burrowed into the packed straw all the way to the hilt. The other man opened his mouth to comment, but before that Goblin Slayer grabbed another bunch of knives from a nearby stall and started tossing them one after another in rapid succession.
‘Hack!’
‘Hack!’
‘Hack!’
The knives’ handles formed a neat order sticking out of the target, the distance left between them the bare minimum to not get knocked down by the following knife.
By the time there were no more knives left, he’d gathered a small crowd of onlookers. The soldier’s jaw had dropped, and he remembered to close it again, then asked: “One question, though. Do you have to aim at the crotch?”
Goblin Slayer glanced at the practice dummy. It really did look like that. All the knives were low, below the ‘heart’ of the target. “…That’s the height of a goblin’s head.” He explained.
“…Never mind that.” The soldier conceded. “Can you do it from even further?”
“Yeah.” The adventurer gathered all the knives, then returned to the starting point. He considered the distance, then took another ten steps back. Took a breath, focused. The many other soldiers around him started taking bets about whether he’d fail.
‘Hack!’
‘Hack!’
‘Hack!’
The knives flew with a machine-like speed. This time he’d aimed at the heart, as instructed. The crowd cheered and groaned at the same time, then money changed pockets.
“Can you throw other stuff?”
“How about axes?”
Someone dragged a whole weapons rack next to him. Soon, all kinds of weapons were flying – axes, daggers, even a whole sword gutted the target right in the middle. By the end of it, the rack was empty, and the dummy had barely any spare place anymore.
Another soldier dragged a drawer full of kitchen utensils. ‘Hack, hack, hack!’, he went on. Kitchen knives. Cleavers. Forks?
“…There’s only so much I can do with forks.” Goblin Slayer complained.
“That’s fine, man, just do your thing.” The soldier encouraged him, while he gathered some coins from the losers.
‘Hack! Hack!’ The forks found themselves in the dummy’s ‘eyes’.
“GAAAAH!” The crowd bellowed like a tidal wave.
At this point, Goblin Slayer couldn’t understand whether they were happy or angry about it - just loud.
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Later that night at the ward when he once again failed to fall asleep, the familiar itch crawled over his body. His eyes snapped open in the darkness and he decided then and there that he was done with this place. He’d played along for long enough. He’d done as they told him. Now it was time to hunt goblins.
The blond and blue-eyed healer who looked like he could be related to Priestess would soon make his rounds of the ward. This young and mellow-tempered man turned out to be the lead healer of this ward. Goblin Slayer had overheard the other soldiers call him ‘The Sandman’. It was because he enforced a very strict bedtime for the patients of this ward, and if you failed to fall asleep on your own, he’d come and make you fall asleep either by drinking a special potion or casting a spell. His ‘Calm’ miracle was strong enough to put down the entire ward and he’d used it on occasions when patients tried to provoke him.
Goblin Slayer closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep as the Blue Healer slowly walked along the lines of resting patients. His footsteps were soft and quiet and unlike Priestess, his long sounding staff was crescent-shaped and had no ringing ornaments that would cause unnecessary noise. Once at the back of the ward, he paused for a while, doing who knows what, probably double-checking that everything was in order. The adventurer strained his ears and held his breath, trying to catch any sound that would give him a hint of what was going on. After what felt like a few minutes, the Blue Healer slowly started walking back the same way, passing by him, then moving on to the opposite side. Once there, he heard the quiet creak of the large wooden door leading outside opening as the healer went outside. There, he chatted up the Guard Captain, who was always bored and looking for someone to talk to at this time of night.
Goblin Slayer got up and quietly snuck out the other way.
He treaded the dark corridors on bare feet like a feline, not making a single sound. It was a skill that had taken many years to learn, but he still felt he could do better. It could not come even close to the mastery of elves or even rheas, but it would have to do. After training with the soldiers that day, Goblin Slayer had noticed that all of the weapons and practice dummies had been stored in a small building at the back of the hospital, so he had a vague idea of where he was supposed to go. The net of corridors connecting the hospital wards with various storage rooms were warm, so much better than treading outside in the cold. And there was barely anyone else but him at this time of night. It took no time at all to reach the warehouse.
The only problem was the guard stationed at the door.
Goblin Slayer cursed under his breath. He had to think of a way to get rid of him without causing a fuss. He looked at the scarce surroundings, searching for inspiration. His eyes zeroed in on one of the lanterns. Carefully, he detached the nearest one from the wall, then tossed it on the floor near the doorway. It made a sharp sound as glass shattered and the metal handles clanged on the stones. The guard flinched, then headed over to see what’s going on.
“Hello?” He called out. “Need some help there?” He paused in the doorway, looking around in confusion. Then something heavy dropped on him from above. “Ack!” He tried to shout, but a hand clamped over his mouth, and he swayed under the heavy weight on his back. Using the stonework of the walls as footholds, Goblin Slayer had climbed over the doorway and ambushed him there.
There was a short struggle as the adventurer grabbed the guard in a headlock, pressing on his neck. The other man couldn’t put up much of a fight; he soon felt light-headed, then fainted. Goblin Slayer released his choke hold, then found the keys at the other’s belt. He dragged the limp body inside the warehouse and shut the door behind them to avoid any on-lookers.
Inspecting the large arrangement of shelves and boxes, his first job was to find something to tie up the guard. He failed to find rope, but one of the shelves contained some clean bandages. They could get the job done. Quickly, he tied the guard’s arms and legs, then laid him against the opposite wall. After some consideration, he bundled up some of the bandages and used them to muffle his mouth, as well. That would ensure he had enough time to act free of any more interruptions.
It took some rummaging around until his equipment was found inside a storage box on a shelf. Everything was tucked away neatly, cleaned and polished. They had removed the stains of blood and mud from the armor, and everything smelled of polish, to the adventurer’s dismay. Now he’ll have to find a way to remove the scent. No time for that, though. He swiftly started putting everything on, first the leather under-armor, then the metal parts, the small shield, the helmet. Everything had to be right. The slit of the visor fitting over his face felt like home and made him relax immensely.
“Mmf.” A sound drew his attention. The bound guard had recovered and was staring at him with an alarmed expression on his face. He recoiled once the helmeted gaze turned to fixate on him.
“…” Goblin Slayer stared back at him for an unnerving amount of time as he sheathed knives of various lengths all over his frame. The blades were numerous yet disappeared in the nooks of his armor with nothing but a hissing sound of metal sliding against metal. “Don’t worry,” he said in a somewhat reassuring tone, “I only kill goblins.”
“Mmf!” The guard didn’t seem at all reassured.
“I won’t let you talk.” The adventurer said defensively. “Talking is when things go wrong.” He’d grown weary of dealing with these pacifists. Once they start talking, they drown you with words until your head gets all messed up and you lose sight of what you were doing, then find yourself back where you started. Done with all of his gear, he came over and crouched to be at face level with the other man. He seemed to be more of a boy than a grown man, probably no older than sixteen. His robes under the light armor were plain white, meaning that he hadn’t learned any miracles yet. This was a truly unfortunate encounter for him.
Goblin Slayer felt some pity for him and tried to explain himself as best he could. “This… ‘treatment’.” He pronounced the word as if it were foreign. “It’s not working out for me.” The helmet shook from left to right and the terrified guard mirrored the gesture empathically. “So, I am going to leave.” He went on and the guard nodded along, wide-eyed. The adventurer nodded as well, believing that they had reached an understanding, then stood up and left the warehouse.
Leaving the temple would be a little tricky, since the real guards were stationed at the entrances. He’d need to avoid being seen. He found a large window at ground level and climbed out through it, then rolled into a copse of trees and bushes out of the way. Keeping to the shadows, he made his way to the edge of the plaza and circled around it to the other side of the temple’s grounds, nearest to the Mountain City.
Just as he reached the road leading to the city, something nagged at the back of his mind. He paused and turned around to give the place one long, final look. The adventurer felt like he was forgetting something important but couldn’t remember what it was.
“Goblin Slayer!” A feminine scream drew his attention to one of the building’s wards. Shit, he nearly forgot about Priestess. The girl was running towards him with a sense of urgency, her willowy legs making quick work of shortening the distance between them. He was almost impressed by her speed. “Stooop!” She kept yelling and once she reached him, she was comically out of breath.
He waited patiently as she wheezed, then said: “Good. You’re here.”
“Where do you think you’re going! Get back inside!” She scolded.
“We’re heading back to the Mountain Guild.” He informed her in a flat tone.
“No, we’re not! Come back inside!”
“Hush.” He interrupted her protests, then picked her up without effort and tossed her over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes. The girl made an “Eeep!” in surprise and kicked her feet in the air. She made a big show of struggle, but in reality, there was barely any strength behind her efforts.
Goblin Slayer turned back towards the road to the Mountain City, but another interruption came his way.
“Oh, blessed Mother of all, by the power of the land, keep us safe from harm!”
“Protection!”
An invisible barrier blocked his path.
Turning around again, he was met with the Abbot, followed by the Guard Captain he was already familiar with. As they jogged towards him, that ridiculous feather-covered mantle billowed out behind them.
“You are supposed to use this to protect people.” Goblin Slayer informed them matter of fact. He didn’t even try to break the barrier; he already knew from experience that it was no use.
“Yes, I’m protecting a fool from himself.” The Abbot countered tersely. “The Gods agree with me.”
“I was only going to the Guild.” The adventurer said. In his head, this hardly required so much drama.
“You’re a patient and not fit to go anywhere. Come back quietly so you can continue your treatment.” The older man ordered with as much authority as he could muster.
“No.” Goblin Slayer deadpanned. “Get your turkey feathers and let me be.”
The Abbot spluttered in indignation. The Red Sentinel beside him looked like he was trying very hard to keep on a straight face. “You are forcing my hand, adventurer! Remember, you brought this upon yourself.” The Abbot started chanting a quiet incantation.
The silver rank recognized the prayer for ‘Calm’. He very much did not want to be calm at this moment. This needed to stop. He pulled a knife from one of his numerous hiding places, then swiftly tossed it into the air and caught it again to draw their attention. “Hey.” He said. “Think fast.” That was the only warning he gave before the knife was sent flying toward the Abbot’s face.
“Erk!” The Abbot startled and lost focus for a moment, then pulled the barrier towards himself to defend against the projectile. The object bounced back from the barrier and dropped harmlessly to the ground. It turned out to be a tiny, dull kitchen knife, that could only be used to peel potatoes.
“Get back here, you bastard!” The Abbot yelled after him, absolutely enraged. But when he looked up to search for him, he was already gone. The gall of that fucker!
“Let it go, man.” The Guard Captain drawled in a somewhat soothing tone and put a placating hand on his shoulder. “Not our problem anymore.”
“What do you mean, not our problem?! He’s a fucking patient! Find him and haul his ass back here!!!” The Abbot turned his rage on him.
“If he knows where he’s going and can pull this off, then I’d give him a clean bill of health.” The Red Sentinel countered.
“But… We have a freaking army! And we’re headed the same way!” The other man insisted, but he was starting to lose steam.
“Heh, he’ll find out soon enough.” The Guard Captain smirked. “Come on, let’s head back. You look like you could use a smoke.”
“…Fine.” The Abbot conceded, then smartly turned around with a billow of his large white mantle. He wasn’t one to hold on to anger or grudges. You can never help anyone against their will. He’d learned that the hard way over many years spent at this temple. If you have to force the healing, it will only cause more harm than good.
They started a slow walk back. The temple grounds seemed very quiet after all this commotion. They walked in companionable silence for a while, until a stray thought crossed his mind, and he spoke: “You never told me exactly what it is that you smoke all the time.” It wasn’t tobacco in any case.
“I never told the last Abbot, either.”
“…Fair enough.”