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Gaku peers over Nagi’s shoulder, watching him tap away at his phone screen. His tongue is poking out as he concentrates, and he seems so engrossed in whatever he’s doing that Gaku is pretty sure he could keel over right now and Nagi would be none the wiser.
“What is that?” Gaku asks for the third time. His previous attempts fell on deaf ears; he’d like to think that Nagi isn’t intentionally ignoring him.
Nagi grunts under his breath and drops his phone into his lap as the screen fades to black and an ominous message passes over what used to be bold colors and shapes. “I lost…”
“What did you lose?” Maybe rephrasing it will get the answer out of him.
Nagi jerks, as if he’d forgotten that Gaku was even here. Which is fine, he supposes. Yamato and Mitsuki had left to go get dinner, leaving just him and Nagi in his living room to wait for them to come back so they can continue binge-watching Magical★Kokona.
“Yaotome-shi!” Nagi gasps, but his eyes are sparkling with delight and he leans over on the couch to shove his phone in Gaku’s face. “I was battling the forces of evil, but the enemy was too powerful. I was overwhelmed and my entire team died.”
He hangs his head in mourning.
“I’m… sorry?” He hopes that’s the appropriate answer for this kind of thing. He’s still not sure what Nagi’s talking about.
Nagi perks up and Gaku feels a small surge of pride within him, happy he was able to cheer him up in some way. “I still have enough lives to try again, but if I fail this time I’ll have to dip into my reserve of Light Sticks.”
Gaku frowns. “Is this some game?”
“Yes!” he says, clapping his hands together. “It’s the mobile game for Magical★Kokona! I’ve played it every day since its release two years ago.”
“Huh, lemme see,” Gaku demands, holding out his hand. Nagi deposits his phone into it and he squints down at the screen, taking in what looks to be the home screen. He immediately recognizes Kokona-chan staring back at him, now that he’s seen all of season one of the anime. “What do you do?”
“It’s a gacha game,” Nagi explains, tapping on some buttons to bring up a new screen. “You set up a team of Kokona-chan’s friends and use them to fight against the forces of evil that threaten to steal hope and love from the world!”
He tugs on Gaku’s hand just enough that Nagi has a better vantage point, and he starts playing a battle, leaning against Gaku’s arm.
“You have nine magical girls in a grid, and you connect them to increase your damage.” He drags his finger over the character sprites, all set in a three-by-three grid, and a sparkly pink line follows in its wake. A damage indicator above the grid increases exponentially with every girl added to the chain. “When you let go, they’ll all attack the monster here.”
He points at a big black pile of goo off to the right of the screen. It doesn’t look particularly menacing, but it does look evil and that’s probably the point. Gaku nods, understanding the simple mechanics but failing to see the point of it. “Okay, sure. How do you win?”
“When you defeat all the evil monsters, the battle is over and you get prizes for winning!” Nagi releases his finger and Gaku watches as each of the magical girls, most of them various copies of Kokona in different outfits, strike at the black goo. Its health bar empties and it disappears, replaced with golden script reading Victory! in huge letters in the middle of the screen. The fancy lettering fades to another screen where it shows the spoils, all seemingly useless objects colored in various shades of pink.
“Is this all there is to it?” Gaku asks, still trying to figure out what makes it so fun.
“No!” Nagi gasps, offended. “There are many advanced mechanics in the game, but you can also unlock special stories and new characters by pulling in the gacha!”
He taps another button and brings up a screen advertising a gacha banner. Gaku has never actually played one of these games, but he’s heard from Tenn that they’re quite popular. It just seems like glorified gambling, if you ask him. “Is it fun?”
“Absolutely!” Nagi gushes. “Give me your phone. I will download it for you.”
Gaku wants to protest, but he’s learned over the year he’s known Nagi that arguing with him will get him absolutely nowhere. Besides, he can just delete the app later to clear up space. So he fishes his phone out from his pocket and hands it over, watching with curious eyes as Nagi locates the app store and downloads the game, only looking up from the screen long enough to have Gaku type in his password.
“Make a profile,” Nagi instructs, no room to argue in his tone. “I’ll add you as a friend! You can use my five star [Summer Blast] Kokona-chan in your battles to help you, so it’ll make playing easier until you get better cards.”
“Uh, sure.” He opens the app and taps through the login screen, not caring a lot about what he’s seeing. It’s not like he really intends on playing; he just doesn’t want Nagi to get offended. Or worse, disappointed. He’s dealt with a disappointed Nagi before, and that was probably the worst night of his life.
That Pythagoras Trio is filled to the brim with strong personalities, Gaku muses as he mindlessly works through the tutorial. It’s a wonder how he got himself sucked into the group as their collective friend. If it comes to strong personalities, he’d say Tenn would be a better fit for them, and yet here he is.
He can’t see how they relate at all.
It’s only a week later, and Gaku admits he was wrong.
“What are you doing?” Tenn asks, leaning over the chair in the dressing room. They’re already dressed in their costumes, waiting for their turn to perform at the festival. But they still have about thirty minutes before they can even leave their room.
“It’s a game,” Gaku grunts, squinting as he tries to connect the team together in the way that will net the most damage. The Sakura Storm event is in its last legs, and Gaku is still so behind in points. The enemies are difficult, and he’s been relying on Nagi’s [Summer Blast] Kokona more than he’d care to admit.
“I didn’t know you played mobile games.” There’s a hint of teasing in his voice, but Gaku can’t for the life of him figure out what he could be teasing him for.
“Rokuya put it on my phone,” Gaku says, paying more attention to the enemy’s draining health bar than Tenn.
“That doesn’t explain why you’re playing it.”
“The April event is almost over and I still need points to get all the prizes.” With that, he vanquishes another enemy and wins the battle, and so he finally allows himself a break. He’s out of life anyway, and he doesn’t want to use his Light Sticks to replenish his health. He doesn’t have as many saved up as Nagi does, after all.
He looks up to find Tenn staring at him, a hand on his hip and an eyebrow raised. “Are you trying to impress him or something?”
“Not particularly,” Gaku responds coolly even as he grips his phone tighter. Has Tenn figured something out?
Tenn waves his hand vaguely and scoffs. “Are you sure? You haven’t had a single conversation in the past month that didn’t involve him in some way.”
He can feel heat creeping up his face. He didn’t think he talked about Nagi that much. They were friends, sure, but he’s friends with everyone. Surely he talks about everyone else just as much. “I don’t mention him in every conversation. You’re imagining things.”
“Oh, am I…?” Tenn smirks, and Gaku’s blood boils at the mere sight of it. Cocky little shit.
“You… If you’re just going to mock me, do it somewhere else,” Gaku says. He stares unflinchingly into Tenn’s eyes because he can’t help but feel he’ll lose if he looks away first.
“I actually came to offer my friend code,” Tenn says, pulling out his phone and gesturing with it. “Since you obviously need help.”
“I don’t need help from you!” Gaku snarls.
Ryuu groans from across the room. “Can you two stop fighting? Tenn, stop egging him on. And Gaku, don’t rise to Tenn’s bait.”
Gaku clicks his tongue and turns away, whipping his head around so quickly that his hair hits his face. “We aren’t fighting.”
“That’s right, Ryuu, Gaku and I are just bonding.” To make his point, Tenn wraps his arms around Gaku’s shoulder and pulls him close in a hug. It feels empty and cold and Gaku pushes out of it as quickly as he can.
“Don’t get all mushy-gushy with me, Tenn,” Gaku warns.
Ryuu sighs. “You’ll never listen to me, will you?”
They ignore him.
“I’m not getting mushy with you,” Tenn insists, holding out his phone again. “Do you want my friend code or not? I don’t play often, but my team is still way better than yours.”
Gaku peers at the phone, where Tenn’s friend code is pulled up on the screen. “Why do you even have this game?”
“It was popular in my class while I was still in school,” Tenn explains. “If you don’t know what your fans are interested in, you can’t connect with them.”
Gaku has a sneaking suspicion that there’s more to the answer than he’s letting on, but he has no intention of prying, not when he’s still seconds away from pulling his hair out in frustration. “I don’t need to be your friend.”
Tenn sighs and slumps forward, exasperated and a little annoyed. He almost looks like the cute kid he’s supposed to be, instead of the two-faced monster he actually is. “Just add me, Gaku.”
As much as he doesn’t want to, the thought of more high-level friends is appealing. The event is difficult, after all, and he could use the help. He just wishes the help didn’t have to come from Tenn.
He pauses for dramatic effect. “Fine, give me your phone.”
The twinkle in Tenn’s eye betrays the sarcastic smirk his lips curl into as Gaku snatches the phone out of his hand and carefully inputs the friend code into his own device. He sends the friend request quickly and passes the phone back, not in the least satisfied with what this accomplished.
At least he’ll have one more friend to help him in the event, though. His team is pretty shitty right now, he has to admit.
Ryuu watches them carefully from the other side of the room, acting all pensive like they’re two bombs about to set each other off. What a ridiculous notion, really. He can handle himself just fine. It’s Tenn that Ryuu should be worried about. But still Ryuu looks at him warily, waiting for some kind of explosion.
When Ryuu determines… something, maybe that they’re not going to tear each other’s throats out, he smiles a little, relaxing his shoulders and leaning back into his chair. “Is it a fun game?”
Gaku grunts, already starting up a new level to grind out points. “Rokuya has good taste. Why? Do you want to play?”
“No, no, I was just… wondering.” Ryuu pauses, thinking about something Gaku can’t even begin to discern. But his face is comically quizzical, his head cocked to the side and his tongue poking out the side of his lips. He looks like a puppy, innocent and bright and so, so cute. A complete flip from his marketed ero ero image.
There’s a sudden knocking on the door to their dressing room. It’s soft but insistent, several times too many for it to be considered polite. Tenn’s eyebrows shoot up behind his bangs, and when his eyes slide down to where Gaku is sitting, he feels singled out even though he has no idea who could possibly be at the door. Or rather, he has a few guesses, but if he voiced them then Tenn’s Look would hold some meaning, especially if he ended up being right.
“I wonder who that is,” Tenn muses in the flattest tone Gaku’s ever heard in his life—and that’s saying a lot.
Gaku’s voice matches Tenn’s as he replies. “Dunno.”
Ryuu stares at them both, his lips pursed as if he expects something out of them. Gaku can’t even begin to imagine what it might be. The knocking grows more insistent.
Then with a sigh and a shake of his head, Ryuu pushes himself up out of his chair and crosses the room in a few broad steps to swing open the door.
“Hello—oh? Nagi-kun!” Ryuu gushes, throwing the door open more to let Nagi step in, waving his arm high above his head.
Gaku sucks in a sharp breath that he hopes Tenn doesn’t pick up on. It wasn’t that Gaku invited Nagi to come visit them before the recording, but he also didn’t discourage it, either. He wanted to update Nagi on his progress in the game, after all. And since Nagi said he’d definitely come to the live today, this just happens to be the most convenient time to get together.
That’s why he’s not surprised to see his bright smile and sparkling eyes as he bounds over to where Gaku is still sitting, staring up at him without even blinking.
He said he’s not surprised, but Nagi’s presence in itself is striking, given his insurmountable beauty and big personality. He has an aura that demands attention, one that’s impossible to resist.
“Rokuya Nagi,” Tenn purrs, sarcasm and knowing in his voice. “How nice to see you.”
“Kujou-shi!” Nagi exclaims, throwing his hands onto Tenn’s shoulders without hesitation. “Have you completed the event yet?”
Tenn chuckles softly. “Of course, it was easy.”
Gaku grimaces and clutches his phone harder in his fist, pushing himself out of the chair if only to take up more space. “You knew Tenn plays?”
“Yes!” Nagi says, twirling around to face Gaku. “We’ve been friends for a few months!”
And there are his eyes again, that transcendent blue that couldn’t possibly be recreated. Gaku holds his breath, suddenly hot and too aware of his surroundings as Nagi watches him with his beautifully sculpted face and perfectly styled hair and his gorgeous, unrelenting eyes.
“Is that so,” Gaku says, his throat tight and his mouth dry.
Nagi smiles, and it lights up the entire room with its luminosity. He really is beautiful, absolutely stunning, to the point that Gaku still can’t believe he’s even real.
He can feel Tenn’s and Ryuu’s eyes on him, boring holes into his skin as they watch him like a hawk. Not that he knows why they’re watching him so intently, of course. They have no reason to.
Nagi bounces on the balls of his feet and leans in, throwing his arms up and around Gaku’s shoulders. Suddenly he’s too close, and it’s hard to deny the burning fire in his chest. Not that he would ever want to, because the way the warmth spreads throughout his entire body is like a mug of hot chocolate in winter, after coming in from the cold only to be greeted by a roaring fire and fuzzy blankets.
Maybe this is why Nagi loves winter so much.
“Are you going to watch us today?” Gaku asks, finally getting to the real reason he had secretly hoped Nagi would visit him.
Nagi nods, his brow furrowed with conviction. “I made sure my schedule was cleared just for this day. It is an honor to be specially invited to a live performance of TRIGGER.”
Gaku smirks a little, his chest twinging with affection at how quickly Nagi can switch gears. “I wanted to make sure you got good seats, after all. I hope you’ll continue watching us.”
“I will become TRIGGER’s number one fan!” At this, Nagi produces three fans from behind him, one for each member of trigger. Gaku can’t say he’s not on some level disappointed that all three of them are represented, but even so—seeing Nagi holding his fan sends something like pride coursing through his veins. “And in return, you will be IDOLiSH7’s fan!”
Gaku chuckles, appreciating the weird business transaction this has turned into. “I’ve always been a fan of you guys.”
Nagi beams and waves the fans around his head. “We won’t disappoint you, Yaotome-shi.”
“I’ll always be watching you.” Just like he always has been.
Tenn clears his throat to cut in through the thick atmosphere that’s formed between them. “If you two are done flirting, you should probably go find your seat, Rokuya Nagi.”
Nagi’s eyes go wide as he realizes exactly what Tenn is saying, and then he jumps away from Gaku as if he’s been burned. Gaku feels a pit drop in his stomach. “Ah—sorry, Yaotome-shi. I’ve kept you too long.”
Gaku shakes his head furiously. “You didn’t. I hope you enjoy our show.”
Nagi’s eyes sparkle and he can’t help but lean in again, as if he’s telling Gaku a secret. “It will be a magical performance, as always.”
And with that, he leaps out of the room as if in the middle of a ballet performance. Gaku wonders if the guy ever trained classically, or if he’s really just that naturally graceful.
He doesn’t realize he’s staring out the door long after Nagi’s turned a corner until Tenn slams the door closed, cutting off Gaku’s view of the empty white hallway that remains. “So,” Tenn says, in the most abrupt and harsh tone he can muster.
“Huh?” Gaku blinks and quickly redirects his attention to his members, finding himself unable to really focus on them while his vision is still swimming with memories of Nagi’s eyes.
“Have you confessed to him, or are you going to play this game of puppy love for the rest of your life.” It’s not a question, and to be honest it almost sounds like a threat, especially coming from Tenn.
Gaku swallows, clenches his fist, unclenches it. His eyes dart to anywhere that isn’t Ryuu or Tenn. “Well—”
“Oh my god.” Tenn throws his hands up and falls back against the wall. “You’re hopeless.” He turns to Ryuu, ignoring that Gaku even exists. “It took him forever to ask out IDOLiSH7’s manager, too. Do you remember that?”
Ryuu laughs awkwardly and rubs the back of his neck, shaking his head a little. “Sorry, was I there for that?”
“You were drunk.”
Ryuu hums. “That makes sense.”
“Tsumu—Takanashi rejected me,” Gaku interjects, as if that’ll help his case any. “It makes sense that I’d have some reservations about asking someone else out. I’m pretty shy, after all.”
“You’re not,” Tenn says flat-out, with no hesitation.
Ryuu cringes. “Not at all.”
Clearly his own group members don’t even understand what kind of person he is, but there’s no use in trying to persuade them today. So he huffs and continues, ignoring their interruption. “I don’t want to mess up any kind of relationship I have with him… is all.”
“Incredible.” Tenn’s eyes are wide and his lips are pulled taut and his entire body is rigid as if he’s holding himself back from lunging at Gaku now. “You really are an idiot.”
“Tenn,” Ryuu scolds lightly, placing a firm hand down on Tenn’s shoulder as if he, too, believes Tenn will snap at any moment and go straight for Gaku’s neck. “We’re going on soon. Don’t fight, please.”
Tenn waves his hand in Ryuu’s face to dismiss him. “You’re going to get us in trouble again,” he says. “If you start something else and people catch on just because you don’t know how to manage your feelings, then—”
“I won’t! Sheesh.” Gaku runs a hand down his face and sighs heavily. He knows better now than to pull the same stunts he tried before with Tsumugi. And besides, this time he has the general population’s assumptions of heteronormativity to help him. He won’t make the same mistakes.
Tenn huffs out a sarcastic laugh and Ryuu squeezes harder on his shoulder.
“What am I supposed to say, anyway? Oh, hey, Rokuya, I looked into your eyes one time and drowned in the blue oceans nested within them? I realized that I was throwing the word ‘love’ around so carelessly until you showed me its true meaning? Every word you say is like a spell meant to entrap me in my own mind, my thoughts endlessly speaking your name and envisioning your body wrapped in my arms?” Gaku scoffs. “What good would any of that do?”
Tenn and Ryuu blink, somehow totally in sync.
“Wow,” Tenn breathes out, his face turning red. He looks away as if embarrassed.
Ryuu clears his throat and follows Tenn’s example, suddenly finding the floor to be very interesting. “You’ve got it bad.”
“You’re so embarrassing,” Tenn says, and though it sounds like an agreement to what Ryuu says, the words don’t quite match up to the meaning behind it.
“I am not,” Gaku protests. “What else am I supposed to say? I’m just speaking from my heart.”
Ryuu’s face scrunches up like he’s in pain. “Gaku, I wish I could be as honest as you.”
Gaku’s about to respond—with what, he’s not sure—when there’s a knock on the door. Ryuu breathes out a sigh of relief and spins around to open it, flinging it open in his desperation to escape the conversation.
Nagi pops his head in.
Gaku almost learns what embarrassment feels like.
Nagi’s cheeks are flushed a soft, rosy pink, and his eyes are shining, but his mouth is open in a little circle with his jaw fallen slack as he peers into the room from behind the door. “I think I dropped my fans before I left…”
Gaku doesn’t want to respond. He can’t.
So Tenn, ever so helpful, does it for him. “Did you hear any of… whatever that was?”
Nagi purses his lips together and nods slowly, staring at Gaku with wide, uncertain eyes. “Yes.”
“All of it?” Gaku asks, swallowing so his voice doesn’t squeak.
Nagi nods again. “Is what you said true, Yaotome-shi?”
Gaku takes in a breath and decides to go with the direct approach, now that all chances of subtlety have flown out the window, never to return. “Yeah, it’s true. I’m in love with you, Rokuya.”
Nagi’s delicate hand flies up to cover his mouth to hide a little “Oh!”
“This is disgusting,” Tenn says, his monotone killing the romantic mood Gaku was trying to build up.
“Now, now, Tenn.” But Ryuu chuckles awkwardly as if in agreement. “Don’t be rude.”
Tenn glares at Ryuu and then grabs him by the arm, pulling him out of the dressing room with as much force as his demonic little body can summon from the depths of hell. And then he and Nagi are left alone, the door only slightly cracked so as to give them some privacy. At least Tenn was thoughtful about the way he stomped all over Gaku’s feelings.
The quiet that Ryuu and Tenn leave in their wake doesn’t last for very long. Nagi steps closer until they’re nearly standing toe to toe. “Yaotome-shi.”
“Rokuya.” Gaku feels too hot.
“Why didn’t you tell me about your feelings sooner?”
Gaku looks away and bites his lip. “I wasn’t sure what to do. If the press caught on to this…”
“Oh, I see.” Nagi nods sagely, even going so far as to bring a hand to his lips as he thinks. “That would be a problem, since you’re only now recovering from what happened before.”
Then Nagi takes the same hand and places it under Gaku’s chin this time, tugging a little so that he’s facing him again and he can’t look away. “Rokuya, you—”
“I have had many girlfriends in my life,” Nagi interrupts. “I understand what to do when someone loves me, and when I love them back.”
Gaku nearly chokes. “Lo—love?”
Nagi smiles and Gaku gets lost in those tiny oceans again. His heart is pounding fast and unrelenting against his breast, more so when Nagi presses his other hand to his chest. “Would you like a good luck charm for your performance? You only have a few minutes before you have to go on, and I have to go find my seat.”
“A good luck charm…” The words don’t exactly register in Gaku’s mind, but he nods anyway.
Nagi rocks onto the balls of his feet as he leans in and presses his lips into Gaku’s. It’s quick and unpracticed, and Gaku realizes dully that perhaps Nagi has never kissed anyone taller than, or even the same height as him before.
That thought flies out the window when Nagi pulls back and he smirks knowingly, probably at the deep flush that Gaku knows is spreading across his face.
“Good luck, Gaku,” Nagi says. He cups Gaku’s cheek as he steps back, his soft fingers lingering before they fall away and he grabs his phone from the sofa he’d left it on and paces backward toward the door. He presses his back against the heavy wood for a few moments, choosing to stare at Gaku for a few moments longer before finally slipping out the door.
Gaku stares blankly after him, wondering if he would be able to see through the door if he doesn’t blink for long enough.
The dressing room is quiet, his mind is quiet, and he’s not entirely sure what just happened. The world seems to spin around him while simultaneously standing still, and the only thing he can process is the lingering taste of Nagi on his lips.
The clock on the wall ticks so overwhelmingly loudly in the silent room, finally managing to draw his attention. It’s time to go on—Ryuu and Tenn are probably already waiting for him.
Gaku licks his lips, savoring the taste for as long as he can. He feels reality sink in as the beginning of the live approaches, and a new vigor is instilled within him. Perhaps that’s what Nagi meant by a good luck charm. He feels like he can take on the whole world and win.
And later, after the live, Gaku will tell Ryuu and Tenn about what happened like a giddy school girl talking about her crush with her friends.
He’s heard Nagi pray to Kokona-chan before, and he didn’t quite understand the meaning behind it. But as he storms out of the dressing room with heavy, determined steps, he finds himself sending a silent thanks to her for bringing him and Nagi together today.