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What Really Matters

Summary:

Dean blames himself when you get injured in a fight. Luckily, you and Castiel know just how to bring him around.

Mild gore in the beginning.

Written for tumblr's Galentine's Day Fic Exchange!

Notes:

This is my first attempt at a reader insert, but after some coaxing from my Galentine's Day Gal Pal I finally decided to give it a shot XD

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

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It’s a grey, spring afternoon when you, Dean, and Castiel enter the seaside town of Cedarberg. Dean had gotten a tip that a demon was making bad deals, and its trail led you to an old graveyard. The three of you spot the demon lurking among the tall headstones. It’s an older man with cold, black eyes. Hearts pounding, you creep along the headstones sheltering you like ominous guardians. You catch eyes with Dean, check your gun and, on the count of three, rush out. The man snaps around.

Just like that, it all goes wrong.

The moment you see the demon up close, you know the tip was wrong. This isn’t a low level demon; it’s something much worse. His eyes flash and he tears your gun out of hand with a swish of his wrist. Dean and Castiel’s guns join yours clattering on the hard ground. You all put out angel blades, but in that moment of vulnerability, the demon attacks.

It all happens too fast.

Dean parries a hit with his blade while Castiel flanks the demon from the left. The demon fights them both single-handedly and knocks Castiel’s blade out of his hand. Adrenaline devours your shock and you enter the fray, catching a hit with your blade that was meant for Dean’s chest. The demon is dangerous at close range. You can feel the wind behind his blows narrowly missing your body. Dean manages to distract the demon with a punch and you land a hit, sinking the angel blade into his shoulder. The demon roars in pain and throws you both aside. His sights lock on you.

Your body seems to move for you as you spar. You’re stronger than you look. You’d have to be, hunting with a Winchester and an angel, but you’re even better than that. You don’t have to think to fight, it just pours out of you like a song you learned long ago. But with every clash of metal in the afternoon air, you realize that it’s not enough this time. As Dean and Castiel come running to your side, the demon’s blade lands its hit, sinking deep into your body. Far too deep.

You feel the cold air pierce you like a light shining through to the other side. You hear Dean’s roar as if through a tunnel and feel a warm wetness begin to infect your clothes. The demon’s expression turns wicked. Your brain has slowed and you feel the ground rushing up to meet you.

The demon disappears as you see Dean leap over you across the white sky. Castiel swoops down on you and presses a hand beneath your breasts. His warm hands trigger a shift in your body. You feel the cold air dissipate and you can feel yourself again. Only, you’re far too alive, your heart beating far too painfully and your blood surging far too quickly. A sharp breath leaves you as Castiel presses on your pain, keeping it contained in your abdomen.

“You’re going to be okay. It’s okay.” But Castiel doesn’t look okay. He’s crouched down over you like a lion, adding stomach-churning pressure to the pain pinning you to the ground. You realize Castiel is watching Dean finish the fight. You can’t see Dean, and the fear for his safety pushes the pain and pressure away from your mind. You sit up.

Castiel’s hand flies to your shoulder and holds you there. “Don’t move.” He instructs you. Then, suddenly, he shouts, “Dean!”

You look around in time to see Dean hit the ground. The demon charges you and Castiel. You reach for your blade with a resurgence of fresh pain. Before you can conquer it, Castiel’s shadow overtakes you. Castiel rises to his feet over your body, radiating with a ferocity twice that of any lion. You have never seen him like this. For a moment your death clouded brain sees wings sweep out and encompass both you and the watchful graves. You are but a shadow in the path of an angelic bringer of wrath. Your wrath. His eyes burn and he raises a hand. You don’t see the demon, but you hear him scream. A bright light blocks out the sky above you and you hear a body hit the ground.

 

Castiel’s radiance vanishes and he falls back down to catch his breath, his wide hands splayed in the grass on either side of your shoulders. You reach out to touch his face, gaining a brief but distinct reprieve from your pain. You hear footsteps, then feel Dean’s familiar hands under your shoulders. He helps you sit up while Castiel regains himself. You realize your lungs are no longer supporting you. You open your mouth to breathe and, for a moment, you see Dean’s face, bloody and distraught. You’ve never seen him like this, either.

Dean swears, his expression wracked with guilt. “Hang in there, okay? Cas! Heal her!” He kneels down to keep you stable while Castiel begins to heal your broken body. He puts your own hand on your wound for a moment and it feels like a punctured bag of jelly, “God damnit.” Dean chokes. “Cas, hurry up!”

“I’m going as fast as I can, Dean.”

You can’t speak to tell them it's okay. You can’t move. Then Castiel puts a clammy hand on your forehead and his eyes burn blue. Your pupils expand and the world around you turns to light once again.

The first thing you feel is warmth. It spreads from Castiel’s hands, connects with Dean’s, and begins to fill you up from the inside. First your arms, then your chest, then it bursts through the wound and ends in your boots. You feel your lungs open at last and your body expands with an involuntary gasp of fragrant, spring air. You feel the wetness at your hand again and look down for the first time.

Blood, dark as night, covers your chest and stomach from a slowly closing hole that exposes far too much. You’re disconnected from it, as if you’re examining a body at the morgue from a bizarre, sickening angle. As you watch, the wound becomes a rough scar, several days old.

Dean sighs in relief and rests his head on your shoulder. His arms weave around you, holding you against him. He’s warm, and you let yourself sink into him, watching Castiel gratefully.

Castiel deflates for the second time, relinquishing his power to look at you. His expression couldn’t have been more at odds with yours. He looks heartbroken, and your see it on mirrored on Dean’s face. Your hand finds Castiel’s and you grip it with all your might. He gives you a strong smile.

You’re alive.

 

 

“I’ll have to heal you again to complete the process. The wound went straight through.” Castiel says grimly. He’s sitting at your side on the edge of his bed. He’d stripped you and given you a bathrobe to wear so he could heal your injuries without obstruction. The scar that went from your belly button to your breasts is now the size of a matchstick. You run your fingertips over it; it feels strange to the touch.

“That was close.” He sighs wearily.

You privately agree, but all you feel is grateful. “Worse than the Rugarou hunt?”

Castiel bites back a smile. “Yes. And I never thought I’d say that.” He shakes in head in amused disbelief.

You smile. The Rugarou had been your first hunt together. It was how you met. The hunt was a fantastic catastrophe that ended in unexpectedly fantastic sex with both Dean and Castiel.

“I’m lucky you were with us.” You say fondly. “Besides, what’s another scar?”

Castiel nods slowly. “Yes.” He puts a hand on yours and sits quietly for a moment, his gaze lost between a scar on your thigh and one near your hip. You’re both thinking the same thing: Dean.

Dean hadn’t said a word the whole drive home. He ignored Castiel’s assurances that Dean couldn’t have known his information was bad. When you returned to the bunker, he disappeared into his room, letting Castiel finish healing you alone.

“He cares about you.” Castiel finally says. He’s been watching your expression, “He’s just...” Castiel takes a steadying breath. It looks like he’s having a hard time thinking, “We almost lost you.” He voice breaks a little, but he keeps himself together.

“I know.” You say, sparing him from continuing. Everything Castiel needs to tell you is already there in his eyes, watching you with a gentle ferocity that you’ve come to associate with only him.

He smiles weakly. “Why don’t you take a shower and I’ll… make some tea.”

You smile. “I thought you like when Dean and I are covered in blood.” You tease, and are relieved to see Castiel relax a little.

“It is an occupational hazard of dating two hunters.” He takes a breath. “And… a little sexy. Yes.” He gives you a small wink.

You’re even more relieved when he leans over you and presses your noses together for a kiss. His lips are soft as they linger on yours, savoring your taste for as long as he can. You only let him go because you know that, right now, Dean needs him more.

 

You take a shower in Castiel’s bathroom while Castiel leaves to make tea and slap some sense into Dean, most likely. You know the intricacies of their relationship well, too well; probably better than they do. It’s how you’ve stayed together for as long as you have. You know when to give them space and when to let them fight; you know when to intervene and call them out; but most importantly, you know how to calm them down and remind them of what’s important. Tonight seemed like it would call for a combination of it all.

Castiel’s soap is generic bar soap, but it makes you smell like Castiel. You vaguely recall the motel Dean stole it from.

 

You put Castiel’s robe back on and step out into his bedroom. A steaming mug is waiting for you at the side of the bed. You take your tea and let the ceramic warm your palms. Castiel has a near eidetic memory. Sometimes it’s a hassle, but sometimes it just means he’s made you your favorite tea, even though you only said you liked it once three years ago. The smell fills your lungs and you’re just happy to be alive.

Someone knocks at the door.

“Cas...” You say calmly. “Are you knocking on your own door?”

Castiel opens the door, “Uh. Yes.” He sees you sitting on his bed and his eyes go soft. He takes his coat off, loosens his tie, and joins you.

“Thank you.”

Castiel pulls you into a hug. You know he loves your smell after you take a shower, and you realize with a flutter that you must smell like him now. You offer him some tea and end up sharing it with him as you chat about nothing. Castiel wants to plant sunflowers once it gets warm, because it’ll attract bees. You realize you’ve developed a curious fondness for bees, so you agree to go buy seeds and look up ideal planting times. Castiel hasn’t mentioned Dean, so you don’t ask. Until a noise from the hallway makes you both look up.

 

Dean is leaning on the door frame, looking numb and slightly ruffed up. He’s showered, too. He nods a silent ‘hey’, but he looks lost.

Castiel is hesitant, but you’re not. You put the tea in Castiel’s hands and stand up. You approach Dean gently and, when he looks away but doesn’t back away, you pull him into a hug. Dean dips his head down obediently. He’s stiff for a moment but, just as you knew he would, he wraps his arms around you and melts.

“I’m okay, Dean.” You sing to him.

He sniffs distractedly and nuzzles your neck. “Good.” He pulls back to look at you, a smile in his eyes.

You smile back.

Dean doesn’t need to apologize, and you don’t need to forgive him. You lean in and Dean crossed the distance, like he’d been waiting for it. His cupid’s bow shaped lips capture your own. He tastes like flowery whiskey. When you pull away, Dean looks slightly dazed and gives you a cocky smile. You’re finally convinced he’s back to normal.

“Are you… naked?” He asks.

You give his cheek a gentle slap, making his grin widen.

“What happened to being concerned for my safety?” You raise a brow at him, holding back a smile.

He smiles for you.

“If you feel like making it up to me, you can join Cas and I on the bed.” You offer smartly.

Dean’s smile opens up in arousal. He flexes his jaw. “Done.” He suddenly scoops you up in his arms and carries you, laughing, to Castiel.

Castiel smiles and lowers you onto the bed. You catch sight of Dean roughing up Castiel’s hair, making him roll his eyes and smile. Then Dean removes his pajama shirt and joins the two of you. Castiel fills Dean in about the sunflowers while you find a comfortable position for the three of you to cuddle. You end up laying against Dean with his arm under you and his head on the back of your neck. Castiel is half spooning you with his head on your shoulder. The three of you hold hands on your hip. Their hands are both so warm and calloused, but hold each other with surprising tenderness.

While Castiel talks about bees, Dean gives you an exasperated look. You tease him by agreeing wholeheartedly with Castiel.

“Bees are very important, Dean.” You say seriously.

Castiel swallows, looking at Dean.

Dean gives you a deadly serious look, and you grin.

“You know...” You say. “The last time someone looked at me like that… I got laid.”

You feel a rumble of laughter from Dean’s chest. Castiel smiles. Soon the conversation dies and Dean kisses you, leaning over your shoulder. His weight feels amazing. You feel his muscular back under your palm and his bare chest against the sliver of your own under the robe. His body is hard and warm, with just enough give. You feel Castiel’s hand join yours at Dean’s back as he leans in, kissing Dean’s neck. The kiss goes right to Dean’s crotch, and you feel it stir against your leg.

When Dean breaks the kiss, his eyes are dark and hazy. You must look the same, because Dean gives you that cocky smile again, Castiel attached firmly to his neck. You pull Dean back into a smiling kiss, and soon you’re sharing kisses between him and Castiel. They each have their own distinct taste, but after a few short moments it’s one and the same.

Both men seem to be thinking the same thing, and after a crude joke from Dean and another gentle slap to his cheek, he’s undressing you with Castiel’s help.

Dean is normally demanding yet doting during sex, but you sense something different this time: something vulnerable. You and Castiel unanimously decide to take the lead. You sit on Dean’s lap, while Castiel pulls you both onto his. Dean and Castiel are all lips and hands, opening you up and caressing you. You always expected Dean to be the loose canon in bed, but really it’s Castiel. Dean prefers to savor, while Castiel is insatiable.

While Dean preps you to take his cock, Castiel touches Dean’s temple and you get a rush of arousal, reflected in Dean’s gasp. Castiel prefers taking from behind, but when you’re angel and can magic your partner lubed and stretched within seconds, it’s not a problem. In fact, it’s downright sexy to all involved.

Soon, Castiel is pressing himself deep into Dean, and you’re sliding down on Dean’s cock. Castiel moans softly, but Dean’s groan rings through the room. You idly wonder if Sammy’s home. Thoughts of Sam are pushed away once Dean starts to move.

Castiel sets the pace, thrusting into Dean, while you ride on Dean’s lap. You can feel the force of Castiel ricocheting through Dean and expanding deep into your body. Dean drops his head on your shoulder and you put your arms around him, kissing his jaw. Castiel leans over Dean’s shoulder and caresses your face before taking you into a consuming kiss.

Between you and Castiel, Dean is a mess. He’s sweating and trembling, and begins to take it out on you. You feel yourself coming undone by each hungry stroke of his cock, and soon you’re gasping out of Castiel’s kiss and rolling your hips on Dean in earnest. Dean moans, clutching your shoulders. Castiel picks up the pace, and you and Dean are both beginning to fill will pleasure. Castiel must have found Dean’s prostate, because he starts groaning hard. You know that sound well. Castiel’s quieter, yet his sounds are more desperate.

You feel Dean come first. He shudders and breaks down, groaning against your neck. You grab as much of his hair and you can, and come next, sliding yourself down around Dean’s thick cock. You feel Castiel’s power begin to surge, and soon he’s moaning hotly into Dean’s neck, biting and kissing him possessively. Dean hums appreciatively.

Castiel always has the most amazing o-face. So distraught and open and human. Castiel opens his eyes and sees you watching, so he grabs you and gives you that same possessive kiss. It takes Dean longer to come around – it always does – so you and Castiel kiss while Dean slowly rouses between you. Castiel is rubbing his thighs while you smooth your palms over his broad shoulders. Finally, Dean looks up like he’s drunk, and the two of you remove yourself from him gently.

Dean collapses into the pillows, pulling you down with a laugh. Castiel brings you both towels. You end up using yours to clean both you and Dean, because Dean rolled his up and slapped Castiel’s butt with it. You both grin. Castiel rolls his eyes and sinks into the bed with you both.

To yours and Dean’s surprise, Castiel falls asleep first. Dean spends the moment alone with you running a hand over your scar.

“I think this one is my new favorite.” You say at last, making Dean look up at you.

He has that same, sorrowful look in his eyes. “Your favorite?”

“Mhm.” You hum, caressing his jaw. Castiel is holding your other hand and snoring slightly. You know you’re not getting that back any time soon.

Dean considers this. “Know which one is my favorite?”

You tilt your head, watching him in interest.

Dean spreads your legs and dips his head down, kissing a mark dangerously close to your pleasantly ringing heat.

“What’d you say? You fell off of motorcycle as a kid?” Dean grinned playfully.

You laugh, grabbing Dean by the hair and pulling him up. That sorrowful look in Dean’s eyes is gone. It’ll take time but, between you and Castiel, you know Dean will eventually forgive himself. Even if you have to bribe him.

Dean kisses you then lies down, taking your other hand. You fall asleep to the sound of Castiel’s gentle breathing and you are, once again, just happy to be alive.

Notes:

♡ Hope you enjoyed! Have a fabulous holiday! ♡