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Everyone Who’s Relevant
Tuesday 15:26
shut up bernice: guys petition to call gryphons and gargoyles anything but its actual name
josiemccoy: i’m interested elaborate
shut up bernice: like,, call it anything starting with the letter g
lizzy bizzy: for example: glassblowing and gargling
josiemccoy: geese and giggles
josiemccoy: garlic bread and guffawing
shut up bernice: YOU’RE GETTING IT
tonitopaz: hey @meanie :( wanna play a round of Grizzly Bears and Gazebos
illiterate: GAHGJDHASFGIHS
tonitopaz added fangsfogarty to the chat
fangsfogarty: we should set up an official Gauze and Glaciers group chat
lizzy bizzy: PEAK COMEDY
Wednesday 13:27
josiemccoy: um just saying @ yall who’ve changed your usernames to inside jokes from other groupchats?? i dont know who you are
meanie :( : I feel like it isn’t hard to guess. Context clues, Josie.
josiemccoy: well yes I know You’re cheryl but who is everyone else even
lizzy bizzy: clearly i’m archie
3edgy5me: and this is obviously veronica
tonitopaz: shut up you guys PLEASE just change them
josiemccoy: why is it always the four of you plus cheryl that do this??
lizzy bizzy: ugh FINE
lizzy bizzy changed their name to bettycooper
shut up bernice changed their name to veronicalodge
3edgy5me changed their name to jugheadjones
illiterate changed their name to coolest kid on the BLOCK B)
josiemccoy: archie…
coolest kid on the BLOCK B): ALL OF YOU RUIN MY FUN
coolest kid on the BLOCK B) changed their name to just archie then i guess :(
jugheadjones: Archibald Please
just archie then i guess :( changed their name to archieandrews
archieandrews: only for u
meanie :( changed their name to cheryl bombshell
tonitopaz: cheryl you just HAD to be special
cheryl bombshell: YOU ALL KNOW WHO THIS IS
josiemccoy: thanks everyone
The Core Four
Wednesday 16:23
veronicalodge: omg betty and i are at pops and i think cheryl and toni are arguing
archieandrews: holy shit what
jugheadjones: about what???
bettycooper: i think it started out as about something dumb like jokingly
bettycooper: but now i think it’s about an actual problem
veronicalodge: oh SHIIIIT
archieandrews: spill the beans
bettycooper: oh thank god im so glad u didnt say spill the tea
archieandrews: oh beans???
bettycooper: stop im trying to listen and youre making me snort laugh
jugheadjones: veronica’s been typing for SO LONG
bettycooper: yeah the argument keeps evolving we’re trying to keep up
veronicalodge: ok so they were talking about the serpents I think and then it turned into Arguing about the serpents? and when I said ‘oh SHIIIIT’ it was because toni said something like ‘I feel like sometimes you see me as your charity project’ and cheryl just about screamed
jugheadjones: oh my god!!
bettycooper: how can this happen on lesbian visibility day Honestly????
veronicalodge: cheryl just said like ‘honestly it’s pretty insulting that you thought that, I’ve only ever wanted to help you and the serpents’ and toni said ‘well that’s just how i feel, maybe you should think before you throw your money at things sometimes”
veronicalodge: okay they’re both definitely crying this hurts to listen to
archieandrews: do they know you’re there?
bettycooper: i don’t think so?
veronicalodge: please figure this out please figure this out please figure this out
jugheadjones: please communicate like adults please communicate like adults please communicate like adults
cheryl bombshell >> veronicalodge, bettycooper
cheryl bombshell: i know youre listening
veronicalodge: how are you texting us This legibly under the table
cheryl bombshell: im just talented like that
cheryl bombshell: ok anyway
cheryl bombshell: look I hate to ask for help with anything but if you hadn’t noticed, I’m not the greatest at being nice
cheryl bombshell: or like, making my girlfriend, whom I love, realise i dont see her as a charity project or anything like that, i just like to spend money on her and buy her things and stuff like that bc i love her! and want her and her family to be happy! and i have the financial security and stability to be able to do that!!
cheryl bombshell: and you guys are good at that and also have heard this whole argument
bettycooper: oh cheryl Honey
bettycooper: ok so she loves you a lot too and what you said in that message was really sincere
veronicalodge: hold her hand and look her in the eyes and say like exactly what you just said
The Core Four
veronicalodge: cheryl just texted us asking for advice
bettycooper: shit theyre adorable
veronicalodge: she followed our advice
archieandrews: have they figured it out????
veronicalodge: theyre actually talking about this rather than shouting
bettycooper: aww yeah theyre holding hands
veronicalodge: AHH TONI JUST KISSED HER HANDS AND MOVED TO SIT NEXT TO HER
jugheadjones: choni continues to reign supreme over all of the rest of us
bettycooper: ok theyre making out now this feels weird
veronicalodge: betty and i are leaving now lol
bettycooper: adasgdjgadga they just like ran to cheryl’s car and SLAMMED the door
archieandrews: are they actually going to,,,
bettycooper: yeah i think theyre doing That cmon ronnie lets leave faster
veronicalodge >> cheryl bombshell, bettycooper
veronicalodge: IM GLAD YOU GUYS R GOOD NOW BUT PLEASE REMEMBER UR IN A PUBLIC PARKING LOT AND YOUR WINDOWS ARE N O T TINTED
cheryl bombshell: oh,, yeah,,
bettycooper: BYE STAY SAFE