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The light in their room was still on when Kate opened the door carefully, trying not to make too much noise. She found she needn’t have worried about it, Colette was still awake in bed, reading. The French woman glanced up from her e-reader when she heard Kate enter and closed the cover.
“Hey, welcome back,” she greeted her and sat up a little. Kate walked over to her bed and sat down on it, bending down to take her heels off. She felt Colette watch her intently.
“I’m going to ask you how it was. If you don’t want to talk about it, feel free to simply ignore me, it’s fine,” Colette told her, her voice gentle. Kate let out a soft sigh and straightened. She watched her friend briefly and leaned back on her hands.
“It was, weird,” she finally answered with a sigh and let herself fall back onto her back, her back hitting the mattress. The redhead threw an arm over her face and took a deep breath. “Weird and awkward and I just wanted it to be over. Halfway through I was ready for the ground to just open up and swallow me whole. It would’ve been less embarrassing,” she added with a frustrated sigh. Kate sat up again and found her friend with an expression that was an equal mix of amusement and compassion.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Colette offered, her brows twitching. “Wanna analyze it?” she asked. Kate let out a sigh and reached up to run a hand through carefully mussed hair.
“Yeah, why not,” she agreed. Colette gave her a big smile and turned onto her stomach, making room for her in her bed. Kate stood and walked over, flopping down on her friend’s bed. She heard some crinkling and let out a soft chuckle when Colette offered her a piece of chocolate.
“Thanks,” Kate muttered around the piece, allowing the chocolate to melt in her mouth. Sweet comfort. Just what she needed after tonight’s date from Hell. Well, okay, it hadn’t been that bad. But at the time it had certainly felt like it to Kate.
“So, what happened?” Colette asked, shifting onto her side, so she could watch Kate. The American shrugged lightly.
“Well, you know I got downstairs about fifteen minutes early,” she started and ignored the eye-rolling of the French brunette at her words. “I went to the bar and got a drink. Just some chilled white wine, I wasn’t trying to get drunk,” she quickly added at Colette’s look.
“Okay,” the other woman nodded, breaking off a piece of chocolate for herself. “So, you’re at the bar when she shows up?”
Kate gave a nod and sat up slightly to grab the bottle of water on the nightstand and take a sip.
“Green strapless dress. Her hair was in a French braid. She looked, nice.”
“Not gorgeous?” Colette asked with a slight tilt to her head. Her tone wasn’t judging, she merely sounded curious. Kate furrowed her brows, thinking back. Then she shook her head.
“No, just, nice,” she answered. “I mean, she is beautiful,” Kate added, frowning again. “I just... wasn’t floored?” she tried. Colette gave a curt nod to signal she understood, then motioned for her to continue.
“We went and got a table. She ordered herself a whiskey, which, you do you, you know?” Kate shrugged. She hadn’t had a problem with the blonde woman’s choice of drink. “We picked something to eat, ordered, and started talking. Which lasted for about ten minutes before we ran out of topics.”
“Ouch,” Colette flinched. “That’s...” she grimaced and Kate nodded.
“Yeah,” she agreed and rubbed a hand over her forehead. “I just, don’t get it. She’s nice, I thought we had so much in common, and then it turned out that trying to keep a conversation going between us was like pulling teeth.”
“I’m sorry,” Colette murmured and gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. Kate gave her a soft, grateful smile.
“Thanks,” she muttered with a soft sigh.
“Did she notice it?” Colette asked her. Kate nodded.
“Yeah. She got a deer-in-the-headlights look a couple of times. I’m sure I did, too. It actually reminded me a bit of Laura, when she got it, and that just, completely killed the tiny bit of mood that had been left,” the redhead sighed.
“Poor you.”
“Poor Taylor,” Kate protested. “I feel awful about this.”
“Ah, she’ll get over it,” Colette waved her off.
“What, are you gonna make it up to her?” Kate asked her, arching an eyebrow at her friend. Colette’s eyebrows nearly met her hairline as she pointed a finger at herself.
“Me?” she asked, a look of utter surprise on her face.
“I’m not an idiot, Colette,” Kate told her, “I know the only reason Taylor went out with me was because you asked her to.”
The French woman’s jaw dropped and she slowly closed her mouth before she sat up.
“I didn’t do that,” she protested. When Kate let out a snort of “yeah, right”, the other woman gave a vehement shake of her head. “I swear I didn’t. I would never do that, Kate. Unless you’d asked me to, in which case I’m still not sure I would’ve talked to her about it.”
“But,” the redhead argued, her brows furrowing, “I saw you two talking, in OPS. I’d told you I thought she was attractive, and then you two talk, and suddenly, she’s asking me out, and you’re trying to tell me that was pure coincidence?”
“She told me Mei was looking for me,” Colette replied.
“Mei? Ground-crew Mei?” Kate asked, wondering what the other woman might have wanted from Colette.
“Yeah,” Colette nodded, a soft blush coloring her cheeks. Okay, now Kate was getting an idea what these two might have to... discuss, with each other. Since when was Colette dating people from the ground crew?
“Anyways, I swear I didn’t talk to Taylor about you. Or anything you said to me, about her. Scouting honor,” Colette told her, holding up her index and middle finger. Kate briefly considered correcting her, but them figured it was close enough to the right phrase.
“Then why would she-”
“Kate,” her friend interrupted her, a smile tugging at Colette’s lips. “You’re an attractive woman,” she said and Kate felt heat spread all over her face. “You’re smart, beautiful, you speak your mind and you have a great sense of humor. Trust me, there’s plenty of reason someone might ask you out.”
The redhead ducked her head in embarrassment.
“Too bad I suck at making conversation,” she muttered and collapsed back onto the bed. She felt Colette’s eyes on her and turned her head slightly to look at her friend.
“What?” she asked. The brunette kept silent for a moment, then she reached out and took Kate’s hand to give it a soft squeeze.
“It’ll get easier,” she said. Kate averted her eyes and swallowed thickly.
“Easy for you to say,” she muttered. When she felt her let go of her hand, Kate immediately regretted her words.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” she quickly said. “I’m sorry,” the American apologized, looking at the other woman. Colette shook her head, a soft sigh escaping her.
“No, I get what you mean,” she replied and brushed her hair behind her ear, not looking at Kate. The other woman sat up, feeling guilty.
“I’m really sorry, Colette,” she told her. “What I meant was, you’ve done this before. This was the first time I, went out with another woman,” Kate said, her voice shaking slightly, “and it was a disaster.”
“It wasn’t that bad,” Colette argued and the redhead let out a snort.
“You weren’t there,” she replied.
“True,” Colette allowed, inclining her head. "But honestly, first dates are always kind of awkward. And sometimes you just, don’t click, with someone. And that’s okay.”
Kate let out a soft sigh and shook her head.
“I guess,” she said, defeat sounding in her voice.
“Let me tell you a secret about gay dating,” Colette whispered conspiratorially. “It’s pretty much the same as straight dating. Either it works and it’s wonderful, or it doesn’t, and then it sucks. Mystery ruined.”
Kate let out a laugh at her friend’s words. She shook her head in amusement, then reached out to squeeze Colette’s shoulder.
“Thanks,” she chuckled. "I needed a laugh.”
“My pleasure,” the French woman replied, her dark eyes sparkling with amusement. “Seriously though, just because Taylor wasn’t the right one doesn’t mean the next time you go out with another woman will be equally bad. It might,” she allowed, crinkling her nose, “or it could be fantastic. Only way to know is to keep going out with other women.”
“I think I’ve had enough dating for the next few weeks,” Kate shook her head.
“That’s okay,” Colette assured her. “Just, don’t close yourself off to this, please?” she added, holding up her hand when Kate opened her mouth. “Don’t say anything, just, let it sink it.”
The redhead slowly closed her mouth and took a couple of breaths.
“I guess it was kind of nice,” she whispered after a few moments.
“Huh?” Colette muttered, arching an eyebrow. Kate gave a shrug and let out a sigh.
“I mean, it was a bad date, don’t get me wrong,” she told her, her brows furrowing slightly. “And I wanted to disappear and just, have it be over. But not because I felt like I didn’t belong in that moment,” she continued, frown deepening. “I think this was the first date I’ve ever been on where I didn’t feel forced to be someone I wasn’t, where it didn’t feel like some part of me was screaming out for me to just, run, run and never look back.”
Kate let out a sigh and shook her head. “I’m not making any sense, am I?” she asked. She found Colette watching her intently, a thoughtful look on the other woman’s face.
“I think you actually are,” she said after a moment. “I mean, I’ve never, felt that, on a date. But I do remember the first time I went out with another woman, and how... relieved, I felt. I’d been so nervous, and I’d talked myself out of dates with women before so many times, but that time, I didn’t. I actually went, and it felt, natural. Like I was right were I belonged.”
“Yeah, it kind of felt like that,” Kate nodded. “Not in the sense that Taylor and I would work out, obviously not, but part of it, it, resonated with me. I didn’t want it to be over because I felt all wrong, and not feeling that... I never realized how strong that feeling had been, on my dates before.”
“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” Colette whispered, reaching out to stroke Kate’s cheek. The redhead closed her eyes and leaned into the touch. She reached up and covered Colette’s hand with her own, relaxing and soaking up the other woman’s strength.
“It’s okay,” she finally replied, letting go of her friend’s hand. “I’m just glad I’m slowly getting past all this, crap.”
“I’m happy for you, too,” Colette smiled at her. Kate turned onto her side and mirrored Colette briefly before she laid down her head on the pillow and allowed her eyes to close for a moment. She felt, drained. Emotionally exhausted, sucked absolutely dry of all energy.
“Come on,” Colette muttered softly, giving her shoulder a nudge. “Go brush your teeth and get changed. If you want to, you can sleep here.”
The redhead slowly opened her eyes and gave her friend a grateful smile.
“Thanks,” she muttered and got up, grabbed her PJs off her bed and went into the bathroom.
It should be awkward. Colette and her, they were adults. Women with the ability to fall in love with and be sexually attracted to other women. But finding out about Colette’s sexual orientation hadn’t changed their friendship for Kate, and neither had discovering her own sexuality and finally coming out to Colette. On the contrary, sometimes it felt like they’d only grown closer. The only other woman Kate had ever shared a bed with beyond her teenage years was her sister. Sleeping in the same bed as Colette was rare, but when the two of them roomed together and either felt like the other could do with some physical comfort, they offered hugs and cuddles and their bed. And Kate had found with some surprise that she did indeed sleep easier when she felt Colette’s soft breaths against her neck.
When she returned to the bedroom, Colette had gotten Kate’s pillow into her bed and was setting her alarm. The redhead climbed into bed and laid down, snuggling up to Colette beneath the covers.
“Thank you,” she muttered.
“You’re welcome,” the French woman replied and set her phone down. She stretched out to kill the light, then settled into bed, resting her head against Kate’s hair.
“Sweet dreams, Kate,” she whispered and Kate let out a soft sigh, sleep already tugging at her, pulling her under.
Fin.